You are covering my body in kisses; full of desire, your tongue gets intertwined with my lust. “It’s been almost a year..”, you whisper. “Who would believe we’d make it so far..”, I smile ironically because I knew we’d be laying here covered in piles of love, ever since I saw your smile for the first time.
The night flows peacefully, full of warm hugs and loud heartbeats. You wake up terrified telling me about your nightmare. “We were sleeping here, like we are now, and I was numb, feeling as if I was going to die, terrified at the thought of leaving you alone.” you murmur like a little child. I give you the sweetest kiss.
I give you the sweetest kiss and deep inside I wish I could tell you that I am sorry. I am sorry that I love you more than anything in this world yet I tremble at the thought of saying it out loud. I am sorry I can’t protect you from your darkest fears. I am sorry that I don’t have the guts to admit these two words to you. I am sorry if you feel the need to hear them.
They once told me the bigger your love is for someone, the more strength you need to turn it into words. Right now, I will hide carefully my “I love you’s” in between my kisses, the way I pull you closer when you are having a restless sleep, in between my “Good morning’s”, my lust, and the way I look at you when you’re asleep.
And I promise that I will teach myself how not to be afraid of the most beautiful words a human could create in all this chaos.