(1/4) Help ;; I don't know how to open up to my girlfriend about my emotional needs and insecurities because this is my first relationship and it's something I've never done before and I don't know if by doing so I'd be burdening her or making her uncomfortable in some way.
(2/4) Like, I would like to ask her if she could be a bit more affectionate with me since sometimes I’m not sure if she loves me because she doesn’t really express it, at least not in any way that I’ve noticed. But I also get the feeling that she doesn’t generally express that kind of thing openly without being prompted (e.g. everytime I say “I love you” she replies “me too”, but she’s never said “I love you” first). So maybe asking her that would be too much because that’s just the way she is.
(¾) (TMI??) I’d also like to bring up to her that I find her really attractive and that I’d like to have sex with her, but I don’t know how to go about that either. It’s less important than my other concerns and I could still be with her if she didn’t want that kind of thing, but it is something I’d like to mention just in case she wants it too. I just have no idea how to do it, especially since I’m worried that it might make her feel pressured somehow.
(4/4) Anyway I’m a mess, I don’t know any other lesbians I can talk to about this and I can’t find any useful information about this kind of thing anywhere. I’ve only found blogs (not on tumblr) where cishet women reassured mediocre cishet men that they’re perfect boyfriends just because they thought about their girlfriends’ feelings once (spoiler: they were no help at all)
hey anon, have you heard of the different love languages? it’s entirely possible that your gf is expressing love to you, but in different ways than you require to actually feel loved, and so you dont notice the gestures or dont consider them romantic at all. it’s possible the same thing is true in reverse too!
there’s a simple website (created to go along with a book, but just the website is enough) where you can read about the different expressions of love, and even a test you and your gf can take that determines which kind of love you typically give and want to receive
the test is also a good prompt for the conversation you should definitely have with her, and you’ll be able to explain - through the result and your own words both - that you need physical and/or verbal affection to feel secure in a relationship. it’s also entirely possible that if your gf has issues with being open about her feelings, that you might be able to let her know that it’s ok and together you can come up with an alternative that will be most comfortable for the both of you
lastly, and im 100% serious about this, an easy way to ask about sex is to relay a proposition in a personally crafted meme. really. you can even include a disclaimer on it about no pressure, or specify upon her reaction. and hey, if she reciprocates, you might get a meme out of it too. have it ready on your laptop and when she’s sitting next to you, pull it up like “hey i made you a meme”, because who doesnt appreciate that