i love experimenting with textures this is fun i need for time to do this



Grounding is a set of simple strategies to  detach from emotional pain for example (cravings, self harm urges, emotional eating behaviour etc.) Grounding can also be a way of returning your attention to the outside world and away from yourself. In the case of dissociation.


When you are overwhelmed with emotional pain, you need a way to detach so that you can gain control over your feelings and stay safe. As long as you are grounding, you are more likely to be able to overcome urges. Grounding ‘anchors’ you to reality.

Many people with PTSD and dissociative disorders struggle with either feeling too much (overwhelming emotions and memories) or too little (numbing and dissociation). In grounding, you attain balance between the two—conscious of reality and ability to tolerate it.


§ Grounding can be done any time, anywhere and no one has to know.

·       §  Use grounding when you are: faced with a trigger, having a flashback or dissociating.

·       §  Keep your eyes open, look around the room, and make sure the light is good to stay in touch with the present.

·       §  Rate your mood before and after to test whether it worked. Before grounding, rate your level of

·       §  emotional pain, or your level of dissociation. Then re-rate it afterwards. Has it gone down?

·       Try not to make judgements or think negatively. The idea is to distract from the negatives.

·       §  Stay neutral—no judgments of good or bad.

·       §  Focus on the present, not the past or future.

·       §  Grounding is much more active than relaxation exercises and focuses your attention.

Grounding is deemed to be a better way of coping with PTSD and dissociative disorders than relaxation practice. As during relaxation the focus is too much within the body, which at the worst may bring on flashbacks.



o    Describe to yourself in detail your surroundings: For example “The walls are white, there are three pink chairs and a blue sofa. There is a picture of a brown border collie on the wall with a gold frame around it.” You can do this out loud if appropriate, or in your head if you are in public.

o    Play a game like “Scattergories” in your head or with a friend or family member. Choose a letter of the alphabet and try and come up with as many examples of a category you choose as you can. For example C … Boys names: Christopher, Curtis, Carl, Charles etc.

o    Do an age progression. IThis can be particularly useful if you have dissociated or regressed to a younger alter or state. For example in my experiences I have an alter who is three. So I might say… Now I am four, I am at home with Mummy and Daddy and I can do (an example of an age appropriate activity) alone. Work your way up until you are back to your current age. This may not always work for little alters, but can help.

o    Describe an everyday activity in great detail. For example if you like gardening “I open the shed door and pull out the lawn mower, I connect it to a power supply and climb on. I turn the key and put it into drive….”

o    Imagine. For example make up a nice little story in your head, or out loud. “I am putting some roller skates on, and I am slowly gliding away from all my emotional suffering down a beautiful smooth lane, having fun listening to my favourite music LOUD!”

o    Say a safety statement. ‘My name is _________; I am safe right now. I am in the present, not the past. I am in _____________ the date is _____________.

·        Read something, saying each word to yourself. Or read each letter backwards so that you focus or the letters and not on the meaning of words.

·        Use humour: For example have a “Funny Memory Bank” where you store up your favourite witty moments for those detached, rainy days.  

·        Count to 100 or say the alphabet very slowly or very fast.

·        Repeat something meaningful to yourself, such as a prayer or quote. For example you could use the Serenity Prayer.


û Run cool or warm water over your hands.

û  Grab tightly onto your chair as hard as you can.

·       û  Touch various objects around you: a pen. keys, your clothing, the table, the walls. Pay close attention to colours, weights, textures etc.

·       û  Firmly stamp your feet on the floor, literally grounding yourself. Feel the tension of your feet against the pressure of the floor.

·       û  Carry a ground object in your pocket—a small object such as a rock, stone, crystal, bead, piece of string or cloth, or a stress ball that you can touch whenever you feel triggered.

·       û  Jump up and down.

·       û  Stretch reach upwards and pull yourself tall. Extend your arms, legs, fingers and toes.

·       û  Walk slowly, noticing each footstep.

·       û  Eat something yummy. Notice the flavours, textures and feelings that come up for you.


·        Use Cheerleading statements, as if you were talking to a small child. For example “You are having a difficult time adjusting to these chanes, but you are doing so well. You should be proud of yourself.”

·        Think of favorites. Think of your favorite color, animal, season, food, time of day, TV show.

·        Picture people you care about. Even get a photobook made of positive pictures or pictures of people you love! Such a simple nice way to ground, and you can get A4 photo books at the moment from GroupOn for under £7!! (I in no way endorse them I just thought it was a good offer!)

·        Remember the words to an inspiring song, quotation or poem that you like or feel positively about. Maybe write out the words and decorate it for your wall.

·        Remember a safe place. Describe a place that you find very soothing it could be when you went on holiday to the beach, or walking in the woods. Or just a time you felt safe and peaceful at home in your living room or in bed.

·        Plan out a safe treat for yourself, such as a trip to a coffee shop with a friend, making a nice dinner or a bath with some nice toiletries or candles if you feel safe to use them

·        Think of things you are looking forward to in the next week. Perhaps schedule your time so you build some structure for chores and pleasurable activities. It can help to know what you are doing and also not just sit at home with nothing to do. This can cause difficulties.


Practice as often as possible. Even when you don’t feel overwhelmed or dissociative. This way it will come more naturally to you when you are struggling.

Practice faster. Speeding up the pace gets you focused on the outside world quickly.
Try grounding for a Ioooong time 20 mins at least, and then repeat !!
Try to notice whether you do better with physical or mental or soothing grounding.

Create your own methods of grounding. Any method you make up may be worth much more than those you read here because it is yours.

Start grounding early in a negative mood cycle. Start when you begin to feel the early warning signs of dissociation or when you have just started having a flashback.


The other day @noradove asked me if I had any advice for painting backgrounds or using watercolor in general.  To be honest, I’m still learning how to paint backgrounds, but I decided to compile a little list of things I’ve learned while using watercolor and gouache.  I hope some of these bullet points might be useful to others!

Like all “rules,” take these with a grain of salt.  These tips work for me – what works for you could be completely different! But check beneath the cut for some lessons I’ve learned!

Keep reading

Pocket Size

Request: Maybe one where the reader shrinks because of a spell? Gabe puts her in his pocket and adorableness ensues?

Warnings: Fluff

Word Count: 1222

Gender: Female

Author: Gwen

Your name: submit What is this?

Originally posted by brieflymaximumprincess

“Turn magnitudinem ranarum. Mus nunc per magnitudinem. Ego autem interfecit tunc iuraverunt!” The witch screamed out at you as a last resort before you fired your weapon, watching as she fell to the ground in a heap. Once you made sure she was down, you yelled in triumph to your partner, who was somewhere in this moldy house.

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how to get into sfx (”horror”) makeup

I recently made a post about how to get into makeup, but in it I only talked about traditional, “pretty” makeup. I didn’t address the creepier side of it at all. I’ve heard a LOT of people say that they think SFX makeup is really interesting and that they would love to start experimenting with it, but they have no idea what products to buy or how to use them. I’ll warn you now – FX products are not cheap, and some of them can be a little intimidating the first time you use them, but once you get used to working with them, it’s really fun! With this kind of makeup, you can really transform yourself; the only limit is your imagination. I’ve only been into SFX for the last year or so, so I’m still learning and building up experience, but I think I’ve more or less mastered the basics. I feel like this kind of makeup is really more of an art form than traditional makeup, and (as with any other kind of art) you can really see yourself progress as an artist over time.

like with traditional makeup, there’s a few basic products that I recommend starting your collection with:

  • liquid latex (This is probably the product you’ll use the most in your projects. It’s easy to use, easy to remove, and not too expensive. Latex is most commonly used to create “fake skin” for fake wounds.)
  • face paint (Unfortunately, I can’t link you to the palette I use, because it came as part of a makeup kit. There are three common formulas: water-activated paints, alcohol-activated paints, and cream paints/grease paints. I recommend starting out with cream paints, because they’re the safest, easiest to use, and most forgiving of the three.)
  • a bruise wheel (These are special paints with a creamy, easy-to-blend formula, used to create realistic-looking bruises. If you don’t want to buy one, you can get the same effect with a combination of very dark red lipstick and black eyeshadow. I do recommend the bruise wheel though, because the yellow and green colors are really good for making your skin look sick or infected.)
  • coagulated blood (There are two types of fake blood. This one is the thick, clotted, nauseating kind. It doesn’t smear or run as easily as the more liquid-y blood does, and it adds an extra layer of icky texture to wounds.)
  • squirt blood/fresh blood/standard fake blood (This stuff looks like fresh blood. Different brands market it under different names, but they’re all the same: runny, deep red, and a complete mess. It’s super fun to work with, but you WILL ruin whatever clothes you’re wearing.)

Those products cover the basics, and it’s a good idea to master them before you move on to less forgiving SFX products. If you need ideas/examples, try one of these tutorials: x x  They’re both pretty easy, so they’re good “first attempt” looks to help you get used to the products.

Here are some other commonly-used FX products that you might run into:

  • rigid collodion (This is one of the scariest FX products to use, so I definitely DO NOT recommend experimenting with it until you’ve mastered the basics. This product puckers your skin in a way that creates very realistic fake scars, but if you don’t remove it properly, or apply it in the same place several days in a row, or put it on your lips or eyes, you could seriously damage your skin. I HAVE used it before and I was fine, so you don’t need to be afraid of it, but if you’re going to use it, be careful and make sure you know what you’re doing.)   
  • scar wax (This is literally just modelling wax for your face. I’ve seen it used with rigid collodion or alone to create scars or wounds, and used on its own to make prosthetic noses and brows. I have some, but haven’t used it yet, but my understanding is that it’s very easy to use.)
  • spirit gum (This is an adhesive, used for gluing prosthetics to your face. I’m pretty sure you need a special removal liquid to get it off, but I haven’t used it yet so I am by no means an expert. On the rare occasion that I do have prosthetics, I just glue them on with a little liquid latex.)
  • tooth fx (It’s paint for your teeth. You have to make sure your teeth are completely dry before you can put it on, and you have to make sure the paint is dry before you can close your mouth, but it looks really cool. It comes in lots of colors, from black to blood red to nicotine yellow.) 

Honestly, if you’re serious about getting into SFX, I recommend getting a stage makeup kit. It’s the easiest way to get all the basic products at once, and it’s actually cheaper than buying them all individually (like I said, FX products aren’t cheap). I got the Mehron Special FX Kit (which has all of the products I mentioned in this post in it) for my birthday last year, and it’s been a really great introduction. While some of the products aren’t the best quality, they’re good for learning and starting out. As you run out of things, you can replace them with better quality products.

Here are some tips and tricks to remember when you’re working with these new products:

  • ALWAYS DO AN ALLERGY TEST BEFORE USING A PRODUCT ON YOUR FACE. Testing products is really easy: I just apply them to the back of my non-dominant hand and leave them on for a couple of hours to see if I have a reaction. The only time I’ve used rigid collodion was when I recreated the Outsider’s brand from Dishonored, which doubled as my allergy test for the product. (And it did break me out, so I don’t use collodion anymore.) I really cannot stress how important allergy tests are – this is definitely a “better safe than sorry” kind of thing. 
  • You can use spirit gum near (but not on) your hair, as long as you have the proper removal liquid to get it off. This makes spirit gum the ideal adhesive for attaching things like elf ears, horns, ect.
  • With the bruise wheel, a little product and a lot of blending goes a long way. 
  • If you plan to work with latex a lot, I recommend buying a ton of cheap cosmetic wedge sponges to apply it with, because you will ruin every sponge you use for latex after one use.
  • Like with pretty makeup, I recommend buying a set of professional makeup brushes for this. DO NOT USE YOUR REGULAR BRUSHES FOR FX MAKEUP. YOU WILL RUIN THEM. (The Mehron kit I have came with several brushes, and you could also use normal paintbrushes as long as they’re soft and made from material you aren’t allergic to.)
  • You can create realistic-looking fake skin by layering liquid latex with very thin strips of tissue paper. Warning: doing this takes forever, because you have to wait for each layer to dry completely before adding the next one.
  • Don’t worry if your makeup doesn’t end up looking exactly like it did in your head, or exactly like your reference picture. SFX looks are very forgiving, because they don’t have to be neat, or pretty, or symmetrical. In fact, for most horror makeup, messier is better.
  • Contouring the hollows of your cheeks and your temples with a black or dark grey eyeshadow is a great way to instantly look more sunken in and skeletal (especially if you already have a white or grey foundation on). 
  • You can make your own foundation shades for whatever monster you’re creating by mixing face paint (or matte eyeshadow pigments) with your normal foundation. Foundation + white face paint = vampire. Foundation + grey (and maybe a tiny bit of green) paint = rotting corpse/zombie. And mixing your own colors is really fun! 

And finally,

  • Don’t be afraid to try new things, and don’t expect all of your SFX looks to turn out the way you wanted them to, especially at first. No one starts out as an expert. Remember the first time you tried to use liquid eyeliner? Be patient with yourself, and take on new challenges as you master basic skills. 

I hope at least a few of you found this helpful. If you have any additional questions, feedback, or product recommendations, or if you’re an old SFX pro who has advice/constructive criticism for me, please message me! I love hearing from you guys! I’m also open to take requests for tutorials (horror makeup or traditional makeup), if there’s something specific you want to know how to do (or at least see my take on it). 

Bee’s Modest Art Arsenal

I made a comprehensive list of all the stuff I typically use to make art as of right now. It’s not meant to be an end-all-be-all for art supplies by any means, just… stuff I like! And it’s largely affordable whenever possible, yay!!! Some of my favorite art products I find completely on accident or in unlikely places so never be afraid to give it a shot if it calls to you! My list is under the cut, and ofc, all photos are not mine and used purely for educational purposes.

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anonymous asked:

You've taken countless screenshots from a wide variety of games over the years. Some (like BioShock) you revisit consistently, others you explore for only a short while. What would you say are some qualities of the games you love returning to (besides the obvious answer of "rich graphics and atmospheric settings")? Are there certain elements (visual, narrative, or otherwise) that you really love seeing in games or actively look for in games? -Unownshipper

Like i mentioned in an earlier ask, the hurricane put me out of commission for a while, so apologies for the long delay in answering this Unown!

This is an interesting question since i can easily spend hundreds of hours on one game and only ten minutes on another, even though both have great qualities and both look very good. This is going to be a really long answer, so bear with me!

First and foremost, the initial decision begins with asking what kind of screenshotting tools are available for the title. Games that are easy to pick up and take shots of (Bioshocks, Dishonored, We happy few, Soma) are much more appealing than something with funky tools you have to fight with (Abzu, Tomb raider, Narcosis, Halos). There’s almost like this pre-production phase for me when it comes to screenshotting a game, where i have to find the right tools and experiment with how they work, mess with the graphic settings in the ini/cfg files, see what the highest resolution is i can push in addition to those settings, choose and configure mods, and then see if any console commands work and if so, which ones will benefit me. Finally, i usually play through the game once not only to just enjoy the gaming experience, but also to scout places/things that might be good for screenshots. This is a lot of time before i even take one shot, so when i have to fight with tools (sometimes multiple ones at once) after all that (which can often crash a game that’s already close to being unstable due the graphic/resolution settings i use) i tend to veer more towards the more approachable games first. 

After that, usually the first thing that pulls me towards a game is iconic architecture/visuals. Whether it’s the older Art deco/Neoclassical/Colonial look of the Bioshock games or the futuristic Renaissance look of Deus Ex, both keep me glued to the screen for hundreds of hours trying to capture it all in a screenshot.

From there, another one of the first things i look for is a game that’s filled with interesting stuff to look at in every corner, like clutter, foliage, or lots of environmental set dressing/storytelling. The Arkham series and games like Observer are great for this.

Because if you’re going to be taking environmental screenshots (which i love to do), you’re going to need lots of details to keep the images interesting (especially if you don’t have strong/famous architecture like Rapture or Columbia).

Next on my list are titles that are third person. Here you don’t need a game with the most iconic or cluttered visuals, just one with a great looking and/or interesting character in them. Preferably one you can pose or that has a few different animations. Adding a character to screenshot can bring drama, excitement, (or any kind of emotion really) and it’s always a ton of fun to compose a shot around them. Putting Lara in this image turns a pretty view into a dramatic and adventurous one and placing Boba Fett in this Battlefront shot puts a new spin on a classic movie moment.

However, the game doesn’t always have to be in third person, as long as you have another unique character with decent animations, like Hello Neighbor or Alien Isolation. The right character in the right place can turn a normally boring area into a funny or cinematic one.

I also like games that i can change visually to a decent degree, to give a somewhat fresh take on them, like Skyrim or Fallout (with mods), or Wind Waker, where i added Hypatia’s texture mod (plus switched costumes and hid the shield) along with some slight bloom, and ambient occlusion (this gave a flat cartoon looking game into an almost 3-d Paper Mario look, especially in the flames and the way Link’s hair and sword stand out from his body). 

But lets say a game doesn’t have tons of cluttered objects, or an easily accessible character to pose. Then i look for something with striking art direction like Dishonored or Mirror’s Edge (i seem to like plant and chair combos too).

Or one that has that, combined with immaculate attention to detail, like The Witness. Look at how perfect this thing looks even from way up in the sky. It feels like every blade of grass and pebble was specifically placed, which makes it a joy to screenshot.

There are also games i just click with that aren’t the most visually different/spectacular or filled to the brim with unique assets or characters, but have still managed to grab my attention completely. Usually this has to do with the setting or story (i will almost always love a game that’s set underwater, for instance). An example of this is the fantasy/dreamy feeling and enjoyable level design of The Old City Leviathan.

And the somber, crushing mood of Soma. Most people didn’t even try to take screenshots of this one, since it probably wasn’t that visually stimulating or exciting to them. For me though, i loved the game so much, i found stuff everywhere i wanted to take screenshots of, even if it was just a simple but imposing door (i moved the sign on the left there for a little added flair).

I also look for games that have great lighting. With the right lighting you can make even simple objects or places exciting to look at. The Outlast games do this perfectly, but they also add in high quality textures and wonderful level design. On top of that, i can use the headless protagonist to get even more unique images, making the game a fun and challenging one to screenshot.

Two other things i look for are games that have huge nostalgic value to me and titles that people don’t screenshot often (or at all). Halo has a few of the things i listed above in this reply (iconic visuals/architecture, neat looking characters, i really connected with it), plus these last two. I needed 4 different programs running to take shots of this one, but it was worth it since it’s so special to me.

cosmic-advaita  asked:

Hi I hope you're doing well. I just wanted to ask of your opinion on coming up with story ideas. Do you think all originality has been exhausted, and all we can do is rely on old tropes? Because when trying to come up with stories, I find myself thinking "nope, that's cliche, it's been done before, that's trash" etc. What do you think? Is it okay to use the same character tropes over and over again, or should we strive to create new ones? And if so, how?

Well, here’s the thing. I present you with a thought: is a trope always necessarily ‘bad’? Do we as consumers only really enjoy media that never ever alludes to anything from the past? Is a piece of work only worth consuming if it reinvents the genre or medium?

Here’s another question: Every time you eat a piece of bread, are you disappointed because it’s bread, or is it still tasty and filling?

I too struggle with insecurity regarding my own ideas. Every writer does. Even those inflated white dudes you see netting award after award have their crises too, y’know. But I like to think about it as a non-starter myself, because look at it this way: in the simplest terms, there is no such thing as an original story.

The Hero’s Journey has been repeated over and over again since the dawn of our sapience, before even the written word, before cave paintings, even before the birth of true oral tradition. Our species has been weaving narratives out of patterns seen in the stars, and the kinds of stories we make up today are exactly the same thing, only with a different veneer each time. Harry Potter is basically the same person as Luke Skywalker, who goes through the same journey as Frodo Baggins, who is just like John Henry who is just like Siegfred who is the same as Hua Mulan who is like Beowulf who is like Anansi who is like Guan Yu who is Horus who is the Monkey King and Superman and Wisakedjak and Robin Hood and Jason plus his little Argonaut squad and Aang and Samurai Jack. Good guy, adventure, knocks out baddie, finds treasure, saves day, discovers self, yay. Even Hikaru Genji, whose entire story is about how he suffered because he was a dang slut, is basically the same guy. All monomyths is the same.

But no one calls plagiarism. Because even if the bones of something follow a script or make sense using the same storytelling devices, as long as you’re not blatantly ripping somebody off, your story is going to be different no matter what, and what makes it good is how you deal with those same elements. Tropes can be lampshaded, played with, de- and re-constructed, subverted, referenced, parodied or even just played straight. And even then, it can be satisfying and lauded and beloved, simply because it was timed just right. After all, the funniest kinds of jokes are the ones where you can tell the punchline from a mile away, but you keep waiting for it because it’s just that funny. (Mitchell & Webb, Brain Surgeon.)

Cars and Thor are the same damn movie. Both are enjoyable and fun and not at all wastes of the creators’ time. Death Note (anime) and Death Note (2017) are arguably the same story, but one did it horribly, horribly wrong, and it wasn’t just because it was a re-adaptation. Not every found footage film is ripping off Blair Witch, and I assure you, many greater novels featuring disenfranchised youths have been published since the release of Catcher In The Pretentious Spoiled Rich Brat Rye.

A trope is a trope because it works. Our brains are wired to engage with and digest narratives in established patterns. Throughout history we have dabbled in wildly ranged subject matter, experimented with ever-changing media, invented devices such as First Person Omniscient and comic book sweat drops and animation smears and different typefaces implying different characteristics of the narrating character and dime corset-rippers and camera obscura and stained glass and masks and commedia dell’arte and antiheroes. These are all just tools. We’re using them to make art that appeals to humans, who are pattern-recognizing machines.

You can’t call a baker a bad baker because she used the same ingredients as the baker across the street. You know when you bite into it, feel the texture, taste how she used those ingredients, balanced it differently. And even if you’ve eaten bread before, when you’re hungry, you enjoy that bread, right? There’s no need to be the most avant-garde baker in town. No one’s re-inventing bread. Sometimes you want buttery dense bread. Sometimes you want sweet flaky pastry. Sometimes you’re amazed by the mochi bread your friend brought you. Sometimes you crave the cheap crappy bread you always got when you were in elementary. But bread is always in demand. And who cares if you make the same old damn bread? There’s always a hungry person who always wants that bread. It’s their favorite.

Trust me, a story isn’t trash just because you see some similarities to something you enjoy or something established. As long as it isn’t a carbon copy or too similar, you’re going to be fine. You know what we call those fuckers who turn their noses up at something accessible or indulgent or too ‘geeky’?

A damn snob.

Because s/: Oh noooo. Giant robots and kaiju were soooo nineties. Guillermo del Toro didn’t invent a brand new huge fighting thing. Pacific Rim is just Godzilla plus Ultraman./s See what I mean? Media is not a bubble and no story is mutually exclusive to any other. That’s how stories naturally evolve, and that’s how writers are born: from consuming works by others before, and becoming inspired to do the same thing, and sometimes doing it better, mostly on accident.

We all get hyper-critical of our own stories. As a creator I myself look at my screenplays and scripts and wonder if it’s even worth it to continue, because how can my comic compare to everything that’s come before? And then I realize that I’m a consumer too, and that as a consumer I never care if something is derivative so long as it’s still good. We’re always hungry and we always need more bread.

Next time you feel this way, go look at a story you think is good and put on your snob glasses. “Oh yeah, Stranger Things is just the same old horror story with a psychic kid and a monster from a spooky nightmare zone and a hardened cop and a mom hero. And a love triangle, wow, unique.” And then you take the snob shades off and realize that the story was still fun, because of the suspense, and the imagery, and the music and the dialogue and the way all these familiar ingredients were cooked up into a damn fine piece of bread.

Originality is the individual hand. The ingredients can be borrowed, passed down, or picked up. The recipe can vary, but remember… we’ve been a species with an imagination for a very, very, very long time. Our tradition of stories is older than steel, than bronze, than stone, than balls. Don’t stress about re-inventing bread. It’s enough to be a good baker that feeds hungry people.

A good story is many cool elements mixed together in a cool way, with a thousand elements within. The most important element is the unique flavor of the creator themselves, which, hey, you already have. Simply by being you. Well done!! Now go do the hard part and actually crank out the thing so we can read it already. Go go go!!

[Translation] Wink Up June 2017 - やまけとの歩み

Wink Up June 2017: やまけとの歩み
Never knew that it will be this long! I take a longer time because of my hectic work. I think I used up all my brain cells to finish this. Anyway I’m trying my best to translate. In case you did found any mistake please tell me so that i can improve my translation. Thank you!


No records on year 2006-2007

Year 2008: Be in the same group and become best friends.

Keito’s goal is “To be able to dance as cool as Yamada”
Okamoto : I received a big mirror as Christmas present. I want to dance as cool as Yamada so I’m going to use this mirror a lot during practice. (March 2008 issue)

Among JUMP member, which one is the father and the mother?
Yamada: The father would be Keito! He is the most calm among the member. Isn’t weird for a junior high school student would be this calm? Everyone are making lots of noise, but he will be quietly reading his English novel alone. This is no other like a father isn’t? But sometimes, there are times where this thing is broken. That time I realised that “Keito is actually a junior high school student” (laugh) (April 2008 issue)

Year 2009: Just notice our same age on 2nd year of group formation.

More stories about Yamada revealed during MC
Nakajima: Because of the tense, there will be separate MC and it’s getting difficult isn’t. In this MC will Keito working hard?
Yamada: But he’ll just talk about useless thing.
Nakajima: So Keito has lots of stories about Yamada. Based on how he looks at Yamada, he is showing the look like “I’m going to tell something about him”. That’s looks interesting (laugh).
Okamoto: “Yamada put his finger in the electric fan” are one of my first stories.
Yamada: Wait, why would you say that here? (Laugh). The fans would be worried. I didn’t injured myself so everyone please do not worry. Everyone please don’t try this at home.
Okamoto: And Yamachan, recently he’s frequently punching me..
Yamada: Keito, he’s recently getting used with my punch so it’s getting boring. So I’ll tell you, I only let out 50% of my energy. And looks like Keito’s level are getting up, so from now I’ll increasing my energy to 60..70% (October 2009 issue)


Yamada: By the way Keito, you are in wich grade now?
Okamoto: High 2
Yamada: Eh, that’s the same as me?! I thought you are one year higher. Are you kidding me~~~
Everyone: Eh, after such long time (laugh)?
Yamada: I thought Keito is the same age as me!
Arioka: Isn’t good? Your knowledge has increased!
Yamada: So it’s ok for me to start judging him? Our age gap is near! And he always touching his arm, summer’s weather must be humid for him (laugh)!
Nakajima: I get it! Keito even with anyone the distance between them are so near! When the staff talk to him, they need to step back behind a bit.
Okamoto: I have low voice , so everytime when I talk to other people, they will say “eh?”, so I thought it would be better if I talk to them more closely… (November 2009 issue)

Year 2010: Begin to spend lots of time together even in private.

Keito crying when he can’t reach the meeting place

From Keito’s no 1 subject….
Yamada: He’s no 1 cry baby.
Okamoto: I’m not!
Yamada: You cried the other day! Me, Daichan, Chinen and Keito had a meeting the other day, but he’s getting lost and he cried.
Okamoto: it’s not like that! If you’re not describing the location to me properly, I will getting lost like a kindergarten child (laugh). I couldn’t find the location you described to me and wondered around in hurry. I have made everyone waiting for me. And i thought that i have trouble everyone.
Nakajima: Keito is surprisingly nice. Look! You can cry now. It’s ok now! So start crying!
Okamoto: I don’t feel like crying. But those kind words you told me, you will make me crying like an elementary school kid so stop it.
Nakajima: AHAHAHA! Is it not good? (Laugh)
Yamada: We are surprised too, so we asked him “why are you crying?”

Year 2011: Surprised at Keito’s new side

Jealousy towards gentleman’s side of Keito?!

Chinen: If everyone had a girlfriend, how would you show your feelings in front of her?
Nakajima: Keito is a gentleman so he seems like will be nice to all the girls (laugh).
Chinen: I get it, he looks like will listen to anything his girlfriend say. Like a butler?
Keito: What did you say a butler (laugh)! It’s like devoted type, this is a better way to say it!
Chinen: And then he will go “I’ll do anything for you, you should do the same thing to me too” and then that relationship happens.
Okamoto: Isn’t such thing is expected at the end?
Yamada: Keito, I will not forgive you if you’re meddling with my girlfriend! Even if you’re just being usually kind, i will not forgive you!
Nakajima: Me too! I will beat you with my drum sticks! (laugh)
Okamoto: Since all of us doesn’t have girlfriend, so that’s not threatening me (laugh). And Yuto, now you are holding your drum sticks for real (laugh). But let me say it, in my eyes, I only see the girl that I like so such things you say wouldn’t happen (March 2011).

Q. In Junior days, being as back dancers in which concerts that was fun?
Chinen: About this, Keito doesn’t have any experience as back dancers.
Yamada: Seriously?!
Okamoto: ah that’s right~ As for me, the very first choreographer I remembered was (Hey! Say!)
Yamada: isn’t rather recent? (Laugh). Being as the Senior’s back dancer, we can take part in the tour and it was fun.
Chinen: Right! It’s a little bit pity if you are not be able to experience that. To be honest I only experienced it once.
Yamada: Eh really?!
Chinen: Yeah, I’m only being as the back dancers for NEWS but for tour only for KAT-TUN
Nakajima: Me and Yamachan have pretty much experience.
Yamada: Yosh Keito! Even now it’s still not too late. You can go being a back dancer!
Okamoto: Eh, for Sexy Zone? (Laugh).
Yamada: AHAHAHA! That’s good! Senpai as Kouhai back dancer! (Laugh). I’m going to watch it
Okamoto: If you say that it would be good there then I would be glad to do it (December 2011 issue)

Year 2012: Keito begin to be in love with Yamada

Yamada showing his tsundere side

Yabu: On『JUMP’s recently』talk’s theme, according to the staff’s information, Inoochan’s team talks about “Recently, Keito is madly in love with Yamada” and the evidence seems increased.
Okamoto: Wait, what’s with that? (Laugh)
Yabu: When Keito talks with Yamada, no matter who calls your name, you won’t hear it…
Yamada & Okamoto: AHAHAHAHA!
Yamada: I’m also aware of that a little. This current Keito, his approach become more great.
Yabu: Even in the other day magazine interview, “Who become more mature? it’s Yamada” he talk about it enthusiastically (laugh). Both of you are really getting along very well
Yamada: That’s right. We hangout quite often.
Okamoto: Also, occasionally we will wear similar clothes. Because we have similar preference in clothes, we tend to buy similar kinds of clothing (June 2012 issue)

Yamada: When we went to watch (PLAYZONE) together, Keito’s tension is too high. He’s become troublesome mode’s person.
Okamoto: It was a continuous holiday, when I know i can meet the members after so long I become too happy.
Nakajima: Ah~ because you love Yamachan right (laugh).
Okamoto: But he’s ignoring me. “Oo Yamachan, it’s been a while” when I said it with the such maximum tension, I’m showing troublesome like face. I’m shock.
Yamada: If it’s for one time I would be happy. But it has been many times over and over again. Normally I won’t say that it’s annoying. I didn’t mean to follow but Keito at the hotel area or in the same room as me, he is actually an easy going person
Okamoto: seriously?! Yess!
(October 2012 issue)

Year 2013: Yamada usual strictness towards Keito (laugh)

Keito is chosen as his member’s mutual affection.
Yamada: I told you before this talk begins. Keito! I’m going to buy that yellow sweater you are wearing for our costume today, so you don’t make it dirty! Even one drop of sweat I won’t forgive you!
Okamoto : Ok.. but with that so much pressure it will cause me to sweat a lot (laugh).
Nakajima: Which part of the sweater is your favourite point?
Yamada: The colour and the texture? Roughly because I feel that I like it.
Okamoto : And the most important reason more than anything else is “because I wear it”.
Yamada: Shut up! I’m going to wash it immediately as soon as I get back home! (laugh) Everyone, did you buy the clothes that you like? Are you are the type who goes shopping and buy it? (June 2013 issue)

Q: Stunned! an episode of mutual affection with members.
Yamada: The other day after we appear in a music program, one of the co-star song keep lingering in my head. I’m humming the song in my head but at the moment we get off from our transport, suddenly I sing that one phrase out loud. And then exactly at the same time Keito also sing that phrase too! That coincidence isn’t amazing? Like we only listen to that song once but it keeps lingering in our head for all day long. As for myself it’s like JUMP’s song BOUNCE. And the part “Everybody、JUMP” is the only part that keep playing over and over again (laugh) (September 2013 issue)

Year 2014: Talking about loving each other on 7’s meeting

Yamada at private revealed!

Okamoto: I usually hangout with Yamachan. The Yamachan I met in private, his character is different from the Yamachan I met in JUMP. With JUMP, as usual everyone will tease me. But in private he didn’t do such things, he’s completely a normal person. He’s not that straight and he will listen to all my stories. He’s totally have different look (laugh) (February 2014 issue)

LOVE message to lovable Okamoto Keito!
Yamada: At 7’s meeting, Keito suddenly said to me [You know, I like Yamachan a lot! At the concert I’m always thinking “Sometimes I want to become aa” while watching you]. I’m almost about to cry (laugh). He is totally honest as he can say such thing straightforwardly. I like that side of Keito! (March 2014 issue)

Year 2015: Yamachine affirmed that Keito always being clumsy

Unintentionally teasing him

If Yamada would spoiled you immediately what you want him to do?
Keito: I would like to change our role for 1 day. Today too, as soon as I enter my workplace he asked , “Did you bring Weekly Shonen Jump today?” and when I told him “I didn’t buy it” he said “Go buy it!”. And then, the manager bought it for me and when I thought i’m going to read it, he said “stop it that’s mine”. I also like to do that but if a person who doesn’t know anything saw this, I’m completely running errand for him. That’s why I want to change our role for only 1 day so that I can try to say “Go buy JUMP” or “taste this thing” (laugh) (June 2015 issue)

Yamada: Keito is basically clueless. (Chinen who is nearby also agreed “He is getting clueless, he looks like he’s off guard). He is easily get punched, kicked or attacked by me (laugh). And his reaction when I hit him was “it hurts~” but he said it with a calm tone. Then I will said “It’s hurt isn’t? Let me make it more hurt” (laugh). The way he did that makes me feel to tease him. He is cute isn’t? Because he’s just cute, I’ll unintentionally teasing him. I had never received any payback from Keito. So if he’s going to do that to me, I’ll pay him back double (laugh) (December 2015 issue)

Year 2016: Good friends story talking about same episodes

Discover Keito through the GPS and play darts at Yamada’s house.

An episode where you realised all over again of the importance of member’s love.
Yamada: on the day I finished filming drama early, there’s something I wanted to do with Keito. So when I look at my GPS, I saw him nearby my house. I thought “This is the chance!”. I told him “Sorry, there is something I want you to do, come over for a moment!”. We sit at the veranda there and had a cup of tea. Then I let him go home (laugh). We played darts at my house, talk about the darts. He’s not choosy about the tea so I bring out cold oolong tea (laugh).

Keito: About 3 days ago, I went to Yamachan house for a while. I happened to be near his house when he suddenly called and ask to have a tea with him. He really served the tea and since he has dart board we played for about 15 minutes and then I went home (laugh). Recently I had not seen him in private so I haven’t go to his house for quite sometime.

P/s: i will re-edit again. I leave this here for a while

choitwinsaremyloveandlife  asked:

RFA + Minor Trio (now minor duo??) going to a petting zoo with MC for the first time :3

***I mean, you’re technically right, it is the minor duo now since V is getting a route. That’s an interesting thought. I guess once his route comes out, I’ll have to change that naming in my master list lol.

Anyway. This week is some good fluffyness buffer for all the angsty and nsfw asks I’ve been getting lately. Not that I mind, but gotta get some cute sometimes.

Character breakdown: Good ending canon characters, Secret ending 02 Saeran, V with an operation to restore some of his sight, my version of Vanderwood as seen in my Vanderwood Backstory Fanfiction***


  • A petting zoo? Will there be cats????
  • You can bet he spends a good five minutes in each animal pen trying to ‘Talk to the animals’.
  • It’s funny, you thought the animals would avoid him by default because of his excitable energy, but they love him.
  • Or at least they love him until he tries carrying them around like babies or squeezing them into impossibly tight hugs.
  • As soon as he tries stuffing a piglet into his hoodie, the two of you are escorted from the premises.


  • He loves animals. I mean, that much should be obvious.
  • Your boy is so excited that he’s bouncing around and practically yanking your arm off as you’re going from pen to pen.
  • Just for fun, you suggest he gives one of the goats a check up, and after a little goading, Yoosung agrees.
  • It’s a good thing you convinced him, because it turns out this goat actually has a rotting tooth in its mouth that needs to be pulled.
  • Yoosung alerts the goat handler and ends up getting some good rapport with the workers there.
  • They tell him to let them know once he opens his own clinic so they can be sure to send their patients his way. He’s obviously blushy and flattered.


  • As long as the animals don’t cause any harm to his beautiful face, Zen doesn’t see a problem.
  • The unfortunate thing is that he’s recognized at the ticket station, so it takes you an extra half hour to forty five minutes before you actually get in to see the animals.
  • Somehow, you manage to convince Zen to attempt to feed some goats, and Oh dear God, he’s being chased and is suddenly the victim of a massive goat pile.
  • You have to drag him out of there, get him to drop all of the food so they leave him alone, and then deal with his anxious questions of “How’s my face? Did they cut my face? Will my reflection be marred by the-”
  • Kissing him seems to shut him up, even if he smells like goat. “Cutie~ Be careful. This isn’t a place to release the beast.” Cue your eye roll, your albino is just a tad ridiculous sometimes.


  • Of course, he will always take some time off to go on a date with his lovely MC especially if he gets to learn more about what commoners do for fun.
  • However, the idea of all of these ‘livestock’ animals getting 'pet’ seems ridiculous as they are far from what one would call cute or pretty. Certainly nothing like his Elizabeth the 3rd.
  • He is proved somewhat wrong. You first take him to where the cats and other house pets are located, and he spends far too long playing with their little feet and gently rubbing under their chins.
  • This man knows everything about cats it seems, because as soon as he puts his hands on them, they purr like crazy.
  • Now he can’t stop talking about putting a cat petting zoo in the offices for the workers to destress and increase productivity.
  • Though, he would never allow Elizabeth the 3rd to participate as she is far too dignified for the pets of anyone other than the two of you.


  • Something about this, while it seems cute, also makes her uncomfortable.
  • Many of these animals are far from the 'appropriate’ or even clean. The cow’s snouts are coated in snot, spit, and grime, and she just can’t bring herself to pet them no matter how cute they look.
  • She does enjoy the bunnies though. They all seem so peaceful as they hop around eating grass and as she sits on a stump humming, they all come to her, hopping into her lap and rubbing against her legs like she’s some sort of Shisney princess.
  • It’s so refreshing to see her laughing and enjoying herself when before she would never allow herself to slow down and enjoy things.


  • He’s had an operation to restore some of his sight, but it can still be difficult for him going out just because the light bothers his eyes and too much difficulty focusing gives him a headache.
  • Despite this, if you ask him, he will go. He’s a man of self-sacrifice.
  • V ends up enjoying it much more than he thought he would, closing his eyes and feeling the different textures of the animals.
  • Many of the animals end up returning to him over and over again because he’s just so skilled at petting them in a way they seem to enjoy.
  • V ends up getting pushed in the butt by a goat, to whom he wasn’t giving enough attention apparently, nearly falling into the sawdust and hay. That’s when you decided it was enough for today and the two of you went home.


  • Crowds and public places tend to make him uncomfortable, and he doesn’t have a lot of experience with animals, so he is somewhat apprehensive.
  • At first, he is really cautious, flinching away once an animal moved after he touched it and generally avoiding the larger animals altogether.
  • You decide to take him to the common housepet area with smaller more domesticated creatures, and he falls absolutely in love with a little puppy.
  • Many of these animals are up for adoption, and you end up taking the little guy home because the puppy latches his teeth in Saeran’s shirt and just won’t let go.
  • Saeran sympathizes with the puppy’s seeming abandonment issues and just can’t leave it there. That’s how Nip became a part of the family.


  • He has a general avoidance to crowds and public spaces for safety reasons, but an even bigger avoidance of animals, because they’re just dirty and tend to cover a place in muck.
  • The only way you get him to go is because 'They aren’t messing up our house.’
  • Vanderwood insists that you hand sanitize or wash your hands after every animal you touch.
  • Nearly has a heart attack at the state of the pig pen. There’s just so much mud and the urge to clean is intense.
  • He spends pretty much the whole time tense and anxious, because everything is just such a mess.
  • At least you enjoyed it.

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Film School Week 1

I’ve always toyed with the idea of keeping a journal to splay out my thoughts and keep a record of the strange and often scary things that run through my head in times of stress. I’ve also heard that it could be a good way to relieve some of that stress, and as anyone that’s been in my position can attest, the first week of college is fucking stressful. 

Now, I’ve dreaded this for a long time. Not because the concept of higher education put me off, or because I secretly didn’t want to do it, or because I thought college was a waste of time. No, it’s because of the drive. I have a crippling fear of driving, which I may do another entry about later. In short, being behind a wheel makes me panic like a Spider-Man UE4 developer trapped in a room with a Marvel Executive and a lawyer. Something about driving gives me this feeling that the whole world is out to get me and every time someone goes around me because they think I’m not going fast enough or they honk at me for waiting too long to go when the light turns green all makes me want to climb out of my skin and leave this planet and go live on Mars in a hut with good wi-fi. (this isn’t stream of consciousness is it? Oh, I guess it is now.)

Anyway, the drive to school is 45 - 50 minutes long. A 10 minute drive to pick up my friend Josh from his apartment stresses me out, and as you an imagine, the drive to school is 4.5 - 5x worse than that. The first day of driving there alone came, my mother being busy with prior engagements at work and my father being lazy. I thought I’d use my GPS to get there, but google decided that instead of a straight path down the highway, I should get onto the highway, get off of it, get onto a different highway, and then eventually merge onto the one I was already on. This all being uncharted territory for me, I went along with it and added way too many extra steps to my commute. 

The first day on Monday was rather easy, being that it lasted 2 hours. Apparently the school had assigned me a schedule to go there on Mondays and Wednesdays every week, but then mysteriously altered it to Tuesdays and Thursdays without notifying me. The teacher in the first class spent the usual 2 hours rambling about safety procedures and reading from a syllabus. Though I figured something was wrong when he did the “what the fuck is everyone’s names” thing and said I didn’t appear on his class list. Class ended and I wandered to the front office to ask about it and discovered the mix up. 

This is the point where I considered something drastic and violent, because I had driven to the school one extra time than I needed to for the week and gas was expensive. I opted to make this day at least somewhat productive by making a short jaunt across campus and getting some financial aid paperwork to fill out at the main building of the school. This meant wading through the crowd of people all staring directly up at the sky with what looked like 3-D glasses from Sharkboy and Lava Girl. As much as I wanted to sit back and gawk with them at the cosmic ballet of a solar eclipse, I had things to get done. So I spent the majority of said eclipse in a waiting room as the student help desk thing ignored my request for a form that was in a basket two feet away from where the guy was fucking sitting I could just go back there and get it why do I have to wait this is fucking stupid I hate everything. Thankfully though I walked out with the form and got to see the eclipse at its peak with some of those 80s bully glasses they were handing out. 

Tuesday was boring. All we did was look through the syllabus AGAIN, but this time with a different teacher and a different set of students and it lasted the full day instead of one class. My rampant insomnia had kept me up until 3 AM the night before, which I consider impressive for myself seeing as how I saw the sunrise every day of summer. This led me to making some tweets to mock the situation and of course people immediately couldn’t tell when I was trying to be silly. I got a mixed bag of encouraging messages from fans that wanted me to succeed and several crazy people ranting about how I should get my money back and quit college because they had a bad experience with a completely different type of college in a different state. And as we all know, if someone has a bad experience or dislikes something, EVERYONE ELSE should disregard its existence forever under their advice. 

The highlight of Tuesday was a moment where I made a genuine connection with one of my teachers. He was a young guy, maybe in his early 20s, who had been editing since 2009 and graduated from the school, only to realize that he loved Post-Production enough to teach it between professional editing jobs. At one point he tried to demonstrate to a half asleep class that they should have a watchful eye for editing choices in other people’s projects to avoid their mistakes and emulate their strengths. Thus, he showed us the short film he had edited during his time in the class. It was some short that had premiered at our state’s film festival, chronicling the plight of an overworked steel-mill employee that began an unhealthy competition with him to receive a promotion and make his family proud. Then he murders his friend by pouring lava on him and making it look like a random industrial accident. The teacher began rolling through it and pointing out his own mistakes as an editor in the film. An act of humility that I found refreshing after going to high school and answering to a faculty of self absorbed assholes that became teachers to feel like they were important. He explained how he made continuity mistakes with a character placing his hand on his face in one shot, then in the next shot removing the opposite hand. Mistakes such as this drive people in the industry fucking crazy because they’re trained to look for it, but none of the students noticed the goof. Myself included. That was when he started briefly describing the scene with the lava and I derailed the whole flow of the class. 

I asked him more questions about how he did such an impressive visual effect and I genuinely feel like it made his day that I was so fascinated. He gave up on talking about the syllabus and instead talked with me about the process. Apparently they had gone out to the back of the school and placed a black felt mat behind a mannequin and then poured green paint on it. Then he rotoscoped the footage to show only the green paint, which he then digitally altered to have the texture and glow of molten steel. He then placed this footage over the actor in the scene, who simply just fell down on the set because real lava is expensive, and lined up the way it poured over the mannequin with the way it would have theoretically landed on the actor. Having seen a lot of visual effects tutorials or watching the behind the scenes videos for Dragon Ball Z abridged, I knew almost all of the terminology he had thrown my way and I kept up in the conversation rather nicely. I don’t know how the other students felt about it considering it was just them watching two guys geek out over special effects, but frankly I didn’t (and still don’t) give a shit. It was fun. This was followed by a drive home where the GPS told me to get onto the highway, then off of it, then under it, then over it, then onto it again. Suffice to say, driving was not fun that day and I got home with my hands shaking and my legs numb and my ass sore from sitting for 56 minutes. 

Thursday started with… well today is Thursday. But today started with me wanting to procrastinate getting out of bed, so against my better judgment I set my alarm clock forward an extra 20 minutes after it rang the first time. I laid in bed with my eyes closed and my heart pumping through the back of my spine at the thought of driving. I didn’t even sleep for that 20 minutes. I just waited. Thinking. Panicking. After that I took a shower for 30 minutes like an idiot. Starving African children could have eaten all that water I wasted. Then I got into the car, turned on the GPS and it said that the drive would last 55 minutes because traffic was so heavy on the highway. Class began in one hour. It offered an alternate route where I did the same bullshit gymnastics of getting off and on the highway 6 times, but I decided that I had the path memorized a certain way and I was going to stick to it. So I disregarded the antiquated GPS and just drove there from memory with about 8 minutes to spare before class started. I had a decent amount of sleep the night before and I was on time and the drive was easy. It seemed like things were off to a good start. Then things started becoming more clear. 

The teacher in my Production 1 class seemed different from other teachers in some way that I couldn’t quite place. But today in seeing him run through a Powerpoint on the basics of shot composition, the rule of thirds, shot types, etc. I figured out what was off. He wasn’t a teacher. He had no degree for it. He as just some guy who, much like everyone else teaching here, was a student with a passion for film who started passing his knowledge to a new generation. It didn’t feel like I was being talked down to, it felt like I was being talked to. It felt like he was just some nice guy, maybe even a friend, trying his damnedest to explain how this stuff works. And then I realized something funny on top of that. I already knew everything he was explaining because I had studied this stuff in my free time since I was 9 years old. I think the only new information I received that I hadn’t picked up from documentaries, books, or YouTube movie reviews, was the technical aspects of these fancy 4k cameras and special tripods they wheeled in from the back room. Sure I was as lost as everyone else when it came to the equipment, but the mechanics of shooting a scene, the methods of writing, the terminology of camera movements– all of it I already knew.

The rest of the day after felt like something new. I felt like I was somewhere I gave a shit about what I was being told. After 8 years of drifting through school and feeling bored out of my mind (as well as some unhealthy levels contempt for my middle and high school’s respective staffs) I felt something bizarre. Caring. It was stuff I thought was cool. I was being taught stuff I’d probably be trying to figure out at home anyway if I wasn’t at the school. At long last, there was a sense of purpose. 

The Post-Production class was filled with editing terminology I wasn’t familiar with like the L-Cut, the J-Cut, Picture Lock and a few others. But I knew how to DO all of these things. I had already done them in my free time on YouTube projects. I finally had names for these processes I had self taught in my last 2 years of pursuing this strange potential career path. Things were starting to make sense and once again, the post production teacher and I ended up just talking about random technical stuff while the class probably rolled their eyes. He was barely older than me by a few years and he clearly shared a lot of my opinions and favored techniques for these things. I never expected that the first friend I’d make would be one of the teachers, especially given my history with authority. 

After that in my script analysis class I think I surprised the professor. He asked a question and I answered in a way that caused him to stutter and rethink his next words. I think I inadvertently stole his thunder a little by teaching the class a bit of film history that he wanted to tell. We were discussing types of characters and their levels of effectiveness with an audience. He asked “Why do you think the anti-hero become so popular in the 70s?” and I told him “because we had just gotten through Vietnam. In times of war, morals become more gray. Soldiers sometimes have to make tough decisions and do bad things for a good cause, Vietnam especially. When good and bad started to fade together in people’s minds it became easy for that to bleed into the writing at the time and you have more characters reflecting society’s feelings.”

He seemed impressed and annoyed at the same time as he said “that’s exactly right, yes.” But he continued on and I kept quiet the rest of the class. I’m sure he had characters in mind like Paul Kersey or Alex in Clockwork Orange. The entire time I rambled my psuedo-intellectual answer, all I had in mind was the Punisher. I was worried I’d end up sounding like an obnoxious know-it-all-teacher’s-pet asshole like Peter Parker in that new cartoon if I had kept going. It still felt nice to be right for once. Instead of being the bored/depressed kid in the back of the class praying for either death or the bell to ring, I was the smart one that was engaged and smiling. In fact, I started becoming self conscious and hyper-aware of it, but all day I think I was the only that just couldn’t stop… smiling. 

The drive home was better. I had finally figured out the most simple path and I just went for it. I disregarded the GPS and its dumbshit advice. Sure I spent 25 minutes of the trip in grid-lock dead stopped traffic, but I felt in control. I felt like I was confident in my ability to find my way home. I didn’t mind how slow it went because I knew that everyone on the road was in the same boat as me. And the slower you drive, the less likely you are to fly at the windshield if you clip a concrete divider. So I sat and talked to myself on the way home, cracking jokes back and forth with the voice in my head whom I’ve affectionately named “Co-Pilot” and I had an okay time. I got home and realized that everything was going to be okay. I kind of wanted to cry. I also kind of wanted to laugh. 

It felt like all these years of worrying about the inevitability of college and the dangerous commute just came off my shoulders. I felt like a boulder was lifted off my chest and I could breathe again. Now I know why I wanted so badly to go to this place for all these years. Its where I belong. And while it will certainly get a little stressful in the coming months to meet deadlines and collaborate with other creatives, its all the kind of stress I have spent the last years growing accustomed to by doing over the internet. Its not the stress of feeling stupid because I struggled so hard in my math class. Its just the same kind of hassle I’ve had to deal with already by virtue of being an artist. Its the kind of hassled I want to deal with because I know when the final product came out, it was all worth it. Feeling dumb in math class all these years to learn something arbitrary wasn’t worth it. This all feels right. Like I’m Jerry at a daycare for other Jerrys while Rick and Morty go off on adventures. This place was made for me. So yes, an art school is fucking worth my money because I’d rather feel what I’m feeling right now than be some 19 year old working in McDonald’s during the day and feeling hollow inside because I can’t express myself creatively. I hate that shit. 

This isn’t going to be easy, and there might be parts of it that suck. There might be parts of it that drive me to tears and anger, but it’s worth it. I finally found a place where I belong and that I love. Love isn’t easy. Its a lot of tiny problems to solve one by one to make a thing work in the long term. That’s okay. I’m prepared for that and there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing. For just once. I’m feeling okay. And that feels kind of amazing.

so uh I haven’t touched this blog for a while but I wanted to describe the most terrifying experience of my fucking life that happened while playing Subnautica

few clarifications: I last played this game like, September 2016. IT HAS UPDATED SIGNIFICANTLY SINCE THEN. I also decided to play it on “creative mode” aka “invincible fun time mode” because I just wanted to ~have fun and explore the new stuff~, you know?

So, I haven’t kept up with the updates. The story bit of the game has bulked up significantly since I last played, and there’s much more direction now if you want it, which is nice; the icons are all cleaned up and such, a lot more stuff is textured, the cyclops can apparently be lit on fire, yada yada. I went ‘sploring and found a couple new faces, an electric eel type boy and a warp warp man. (Ultimate goal is to go up and scan a reaper but I am still???? too scared??? i literally cannot take any damage in this mode but the deep and ancient part of me that remembers being prey on the serengeti says DONT)

(subnautica is very good at VAGUE ANXIOUS ENVIRONMENTAL FEAR while also being very lovely to look at, and really grinds deep into the gray matter of Terror of the Deep, it’s very very good and I hatelove it)

anyway I started taking screenshots of the koosh zone while exploring/picking up samples for my soon-to-be-ultimate-creature-zoo, because this game can be very pretty

anyway after digging around a bit i discovered a TRENCH. i did not screenshot the trench because i did not realize i was about to have to fight for my very existence on this good earth.

did i enter the trench? of course I entered the fucking trench. there’s no crush damage in this mode and the game told me there was some sort of Big Energy Signature nearby. Down I went.

….and went. For 6000 meters. NOTHING. Except a kind of shelf at one point that I went and got under. (this minor detail is going to be crucial)

anyway at 6km i decided fuck it, i’ve held down on the s key for like 5 minutes, if i’m gonna plumb these depths i need to come back with my big boy sub. so i went back up. got to 3000 meters.

hey remember that little shelf i went under well turns out it was a ROCK CEILING 3000 METERS DEEP and i had gotten so turned around in the plumbing process that I couldnt fucking find the way out, it was all barren rock ceiling, no way back up even when i searched around and around and probably criscrossed my own path trying to map out featureless rock, i was boned as heck

OR…. WAS I….

said my own thoughts, because i happened to have in my possession a TERRAFORMER and as all good subnautica boys and girls know that thing can dig big ol holes in rock.

so… trapped 3000 meters below solid rock… i did what any sensible extrastellar refugee would do and decided to TUNNEL MY WAY BACK UP

leaving my trusty seamoth behind, i began to tunnel…. about 2000 meters through solid rock, in complete blackness, clicking frantically in the darkness, probably crying

(listen, i had some good eggs and scans in my inventory and i didn’t want to LOSE them by resetting, you gotta understand)

about 1km from the surface, i finally encounter open water!! i’ve done it!! i thought, foolishly, to myself. i brought out my seaglide and began to zoom up only to find

1. this was not open water

2. this was a cave

3. this was a giant cave filled with lava

4. subnautica has LAVA CAVES NOW???

5. the game was perhaps not totally sure about my method of getting INTO said lava cave, and didn’t seem prepared with some of the textures

by the way, IN ADDITION TO IT BEING A GIANT LAVA CAVE, there were like… structures down there?? which again I was not prepared for because I have not played this game in like 6 months?? but the textures wouldn’t load?? so I just got these really scary ominous unknown pieces of architecture that i was in no way prepared for and had no idea how they were supposed to look?? and everything was red?????

also because the textures weren’t loaded it was extremely difficult to tell what you could pass through and what you couldn’t, so i was basically ping ponging through invisible walls and wanting to cry because i tunneled 2000 meters thru solid rock and i was gonna die in badly rendered hell anyway

did i mention also, the noises

did i mention that there were a lot of VERY DISTRESSING SOUND EFFECTS IN THIS CAVE

and then, through the invisible walls, i saw the friend who was making them!!!

it’s hard to tell from this screenshot but that is a VERY. LARGE. BOY. TOO LARGE.

at this point ya boy koryos was basically like ready 2 ascend from this mortal plane. what is going on. WHAT AM I LOOKING AT. VERY DISTRESSED. ALSO WHATS THT THING IN THE CORNER

ok so i stopped trying to penetrate the invisible walls eventually and tried to burrow my way out again except APPARENTLY you cant burrow through LAVA which was STUPID anyway i was still very trapped

but i explored a bit and found……. this??

insert fuel crystal???

this mystery device bore all the hallmark of a Lazy Concept Sci Fi Warp Gate which was exciting to me because by god i was ready to be anywhere but there, in hell. but i didnt have a “fuel crystal” and it definitely wasn’t part of the game back in the center. But no problem!! This is creative mode!! I can just build a base down in hell!! A hell base!! Where I can craft anything I want!!!

so i made a base and a fabricator but uhhhhhhhhhhh there was no “fuel crystal” on the item list. so at this point it had been like an hour of desperate sweaty anxiety and i was like fuck it, i’ll console command it in, i just need…… freedom…… (without losing any of those good good scans)

anyway i looked it up and got the ~oddly pixelated crystal~, which powered up the warp

please… just take me somewhere that’s not red… that’s all i ask……





anyway i believe i accidentally stumbled on some plot because i found a “control room” set to deactivate the “weapon” but a tentacle boy didn’t want to “deactivate” it because i was “““infected”““

mind you im still fucking… 69 m under the water…. 69 huh? i just noticed that in the screenshot nice


anyway to make a long story short after getting lost about ten more times i FINALLY found an exit to the neon labyrinth and nearly cried when i saw my bud warp warp man outside

now that i was outside i could finally appreciate the fact that this shit was dope as hell, look at how cool that is, I LOVE MYSTICAL RUINS AND SHIT LIKE THIS

also it was connected to an island???? i thought subnautica was all about not having land???? anyway let’s just drop a beacon for later i need to get back to my fucking base and lie down to contemplate the ether for 6 hours



and so i survived the incident in which i was never in any actual peril, both in a real and virtual sense, but was still very distraught and very sweaty about, 10/10 would recommend subnautica to a friend

anyway i went on tumblr to soothe myself afterwards which was a MISTAKE because the monteray bay aquarium reminded me that there is no escape from the eldritch horrors of the ocean


anonymous asked:

Yoo harb what are your thoughts on Echoes?

My instinctual answer is to say “Finally, a real Fire Emblem Game again” but that might be a little harsh so let me qualify. I mean, after all, I’ve spent so much time on drawings for Awakening, and even some for Fates. I have SO MANY PAGES of art for Virion alone. Awakening probably also helped to prop me up from being crushed by depression in a sense. Seems a little cruel to chuck those games under the bus, right?

cut for spoilerssssss (mostly vague, but just in case)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Are there any stim toys you would recommend for people who are usually skin pickers/scratchers?

Please note, anon, that while I’m answering, I haven’t yet found a good solution for this. So take this advice in the spirit of words spoken by someone lacking expertise, because I don’t know any one stim that directly replaces all sensory elements of this. Especially because I like the pain of the picking in a way I can’t really explain, and most of the replacement stims I’ve seen discussed don’t much cover this aspect.

(I really need to stop because I’ve given myself some very horrible sores on my toes. And since my uncle recently lost a few toes due to a simple blister not healing, I’ve had a bit of a wake-up call on this account. So I’ve been thinking about this myself!)

If you’re looking to replace the the picking and peeling away of skin, this is a bit of a tough one, but I think I have a solution. I’ve noticed that while I’ve covered my red apple squishy with PVA glue to glue splits together, the edges definitely stick up enough that you can peel them off (and I have to resist doing this). If you enjoy the picking and resulting peeling, you could coat something hard and plastic or metallic (anything from a Tangle to a jam jar lid) with PVA, let it dry, peel it off, repeat. Coat several things so there’s always something to peel while you’re preparing another toy! It may take some experimenting to find which toys work best for you, but the good thing about this is that it only takes time, glue and a brush or makeup sponge (and your painting doesn’t need to be neat because you’re going to pick at it and peel it off anyway).

I’ve noticed that now my Tangle Jr Fuzzy is worn enough that it’s all edges of flocking sticking up, it’s very hard not to pick at them! (I can’t afford to replace this Tangle every month because I’ve picked off all the flocking, so I have to be careful. Which is why I don’t advise buying this just to pick at, because it’ll get expensive quickly.) So I want to coat a cheap Tangle (one of the ebay Tangles in this post, because I won’t care if they’re wrecked) in PVA glue to see if this works for me, because it combines the fun of a Tangle (which I love) with something to pick at while fidgeting. If it does work, I’ll probably have two or three Tangles covered in glue and just rotate through them.

(I’ll let you all know how it works, as it’s only theory right now, but this is on my Things To Try This Weekend list.)

If you’re looking to replace the pain, I’d look at prickle and massage balls. You can push them quite hard on your skin and cause a firm, prickling pressure that doesn’t damage. I use prickle/massage balls a lot when my chronic hand pain is bad, because something about the hard pressure rolled over the pain site feels better than the experience of the original pain itself (even though the ball does hurt), and if I do this for long enough, the chronic pain usually ebbs a little. It’s the closest stim toy I have to giving anything like a pain sensation, and while this isn’t discussed a lot, for some of us harder textures, and even pain, is stimmy, so we need non-damaging ways to get that experience.

If you’re looking to replace the picking, by which I mean the pulling at fronds instead of bits of skin, I’d look at poppers, puffer toys, hedge balls, Koosh Balls and the Tangle Hairy. The Tangle Hairy, the Koosh, hedge balls/creatures and puffer toys all have long latex or rubbery fonds that can be pulled and stretched. The Koosh goes to twice its length. Poppers - especially the Stimtastic Mini Poppers - can be pressed against a hard, smooth surface and picked off with fingertips and fingernails.

The other idea I have for picking is washing swatches of cloth or something like wool dryer balls and picking at the lint balls forming on the cloth or the woolen fibres. Flannelette and woven T-shirt material pills - you could even make a marble maze out of a cloth that pills and combine the two toys.

If someone knows of a stim toy that can replace all three of these things, or has an idea for one, or wants to discuss developing one, come talk to me, please! I’ve been pondering a bracelet that is flat on one side and prickled/bumped (with hard plastic bumps, not like the prickled slap bands) on the inside, something you can press against a wrist while picking glue off the flat side, with frondy bits attached to the outside edges. But as of now, it’s only pondering, and I’m not sure how well it would work.

If followers have ideas or replacement stims they’ve used successfully, please let us know! I’m sure anon will be grateful; I know I will be!

- Mod K.A.

@femmeflannellesbian says,

you could also use tape for the picking and peeling, i put pieces of duct tape or masking tape on the back of my calculator to stim in class

Oooh, good addition! I personally can’t abide the tackiness of tape on my fingers, but for those who don’t mind, this is a super simple idea! Thank you!

@thedreamer001 says,

Picking apart corks is good for me! Therapy shoppe sells some specifically for it, but you can use any cork.

I’ve seen these in packs in local dollar stores, too, if you have no cork-stoppered bottles from which to salvage corks. Thank you, because I must try this!

@stimmingkiddo says,

i have a video on everything i do to prevent/avoid picking my skin! i have a post about it on my blog recently, it may help

Here’s the link! I don’t have time to check it out this moment, but I will later! Thank you!

Top Ten Films of 2014

Last year, I made my first video top ten (which you can see here), and while that was fun, as it so happens I’m a bit too busy right now to go through all the trouble of making a video at the moment. So here we are, back to the old way of doing things.

On an interesting side note, I found an unintentional theme in my list this year. Many of my films are in some way about the creation of art, as well as the price paid to be a great artist. Also, many of these movies could be seen as “coming-of-age” films. Once again I find myself astonished at how many great films came out in a single year (and I haven even seen all of them yet). So as usual, you can find my long list of “honorable mentions” at the end. 

Like always, this is just my personal top ten films of the year. Even if we share the same tastes, I guarantee you that my list would be different than yours. It’s just too subjective.

So starting at number ten and counting down… here we go!

10. Mr. Turner

As far as pure craftsmanship goes, “Mr. Turner” is perhaps the most well made film of the year. Mick Leigh is a master, and every shot is purposeful and completely stunning. The film itself looks like an old beautiful painting. Timothy Spall sinks deep into his role as J.M.W. Turner, and it’s probably his best performance to date. The deliberate pacing and lack of traditional structure might turn away some viewers, but “Mr. Turner” is nevertheless a great work of art, and a portrait of a fascinating man.

9. Frank

I knew very little about this film before seeing it, and I think that’s a good thing. From the opening scene, I instantly fell in love with this darkly funny film. At it’s core, there’s some rather deep subject mater, and yet “Frank” cleverly offsets this with some truly hilarious moments that keep the film entertaining throughout. Domhnall Gleeson is outstanding here, but of course, the real star of the show is Michael Fassbender, who gives an incredibly expressive performance despite the fact that we can’t see his face. I enjoyed nearly every moment of this picture, and it’s definitely one that you need to see.

8. Ida

Some films just belong in the Critrion Collection. Ida is one such film. It’s haunting and artful and features the best black and white photography I’ve seen in years. The sharpness and contrast of every shot is remarkable. The narrative is beautifully simplistic. In fact, the minimalistic nature of the film as a whole is part of what makes it so special. “Ida” is sparse, gorgeous, and masterful. Certainly one of the best foreign films of the year.

7. Only Lovers Left Alive

Vampires are cool, but Tom Hiddleston and Tida Swinton bring it to a whole new level. These old lovers have seen it all, and while they still appreciate art, science, and philosophy, they’ve grown tired and indifferent while mankind continues to make the same mistakes.  Jim Jarmusch’s film is a special kind of vampire story, because it may be the first one to really capture just how lonely, dangerous, and exhausting being immortal really is (or would be).  "Only Lovers Left Alive" has a deliberate pacing that glides slowly along with it’s characters. Along the way, we learn how they live and what they’ve grown to appreciate, and it’s all quiet fascinating. It’s my opinion that “Only Lovers Left Alive” ranks as one of the very best vampire films ever made. 

6. The Grand Budapest Hotel

A Wes Anderson film can always put a smile on my face. His last few films have been some of his best, and “The Grand Budapest Hotel” is certainly no exception. This film is so beautifully stylized, and so hilariously funny, I find it hard to believe that there’s anyone who wouldn’t enjoy this film. The cast is fantastically entertaining (especially Ralph Fiennes), the colors are vibrant, the humor is clever, and the filmmaking is flawless.  When I saw “Moonrise Kingdom”, I said it might be Wes Anderson’s best film yet…. when I saw “The Grand Budapest Hotel”, I said the same thing.

5. The Duke of Burgundy

Captivating and visually arresting, Peter Strickland’s “The Duke of Burgundy” is one of the most compelling films I saw all year. It’s beautifully shot, colored, and textured with elegant pacing and precise direction - I really can’t say enough positive things about this film. It’s surreal and challenging while retaining a soft and gentle nuance of love and tenderness. “The Duke of Burgundy” certainly won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but I found it extraordinary and deeply inspiring.

4. Boyhood

I know many cinephiles will probably place “Boyhood” as their number one film of the year, and I wouldn’t fault them for that. Richard Linklater’s “Boyhood” is one of the most innovative and uniquely profound films ever made. Shot over the course of 12 years, we literally watch Mason grow up before our eyes. It’s a remarkable experience unparalleled by any comparisons I could make. We owe it to Linklater for having the guts to push our medium forward in such a beautiful way. This will probably win Best Picture at the Oscars, and it’s easy to see why. 

3. Birdman: (or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

Simply one of my favorite cinematic experiences in a very long time. In the first scene, I made a mental note that we were in a long take, but to my wonder and astonishment, that long take never ended. There are, of course, cuts and interludes (this isn’t a “Russain Ark” situation) but the effect is very much that Alejandro Iñárritu’s film is one singular shot. It’s remarkable, but could be called nothing more than an impressive gimmick if the film itself wasn’t so strong. 

This is the best cast ensemble of the year, and the cinematography is gorgeous (made more impressive again by the long takes). But “Birdman” also has some interesting things to say about the creation of art, as well as the criticism that always accompanies it. It’s an intriguing film, and one with something to say. I loved every minute of it.

2. Vi är Bäst! 

Every year, there are films that just seem to come out of nowhere and surprise me. Before it was released, I knew nothing of “We Are the Best”, nor was I familiar with Lukas Moodysson’s previous work. However, this film was perhaps the most enjoyable film I saw all year.

If you know nothing of this film, it’s the director’s adaptation of his wife’s graphic novel “Never Goodnight” (by Coco Moodysson). It centers around three young teenage girls living in 1980s Stockholm who start a punk band - despite two of them not knowing how to play an instrument. While the band plays an important role in the film, some of the most interesting scenes are when the girls are simply hanging out. The performances from these three young ladies are perhaps the most natural I’ve ever witnessed from anyone their age. At times, it seems that they’re not even acting at all, as if the cameras just happened to be there to catch these authentic moments. These girls are so funny, enduring, and most importantly, real. This film understands what it really means to be a hardcore punk. And that is a rare thing. I really can’t say enough good things about “We are the Best”. You just need to see it.

And my number one film of the year is…

1. Whiplash

This is not the most ambitious film of 2014. It’s not a space epic. It wasn’t shot over twelve years. It doesn’t give the illusion of being one continuous shot. It’s not even by a famous director. Yet, “Whiplash” was the single most thrilling  piece of cinematic art I saw all year.  

“Whiplash” tells the story of a young ambitious drummer who dreams of being one of the great jazz musicians of our time. He soon finds himself under the mentorship of a cutthroat teacher who is willing to do whatever it takes to push his students to the limit. The film shows painful abuse and heartache, but then just when you think the film will find contentment in an obvious solution, it aggressively charges forward into the single most intense, passionate, raw, violent, and beautiful final scene of the year. A scene that made my heart race until it finally cut to black, and the credits rolled. Then, and only then, did I finally catch my breath. This film bleeds with a passion that’s visible in every aspect, from its photography, to its editing, to the stellar performances. Enough can’t be said about Miles Teller and J.K. Simmons. They both give 100% to their roles, and it’s both beautiful and heartbreaking to watch.

I found “Whiplash” to be painfully relatable at times… and I’m sure that contributed to my fondness for the film itself. Nevertheless, I think everyone should see this amazing work of art. Damien Chazelle has crafted a challanging look at what it truly means to be a young artist with high ambitions. The road to greatness is filled with suffering, pain, loss, frustration, blood, sweat, and tears… and it seems the filmmakers here understand the price that is paid. 

So there you have it - My top ten films of 2014. Please let me know what your favorite films were! Now, some of you may have noticed that a certain favorite director of mine not on this list…. so please see my honorable mentions below.

Honorable Mentions 


Inherent Vice - I know! I know! I can’t believe it either. P.T. Anderson is my favorite director, and I do love this film…. it just didn’t move me like his other work as done in the past. “Inherent Vice” is great. I just like 10 other films more.

Gone Girl - Yet another one of my favorite directors. David Fincher is to the point where he really doesn’t make bad films anymore. The craftsmanship is just too good.

Calvary - This is a touching and somewhat heartbreaking portrait of a priest genuinely trying to live a good life. A thankless job to be sure. It’s bleak but Brandon Glesson gives a wonderfully tender performance.  

The Babadook - Rich with metaphor, this is easily one of the best horror films in years. Love it so much, and you really need to see it.

Under the Skin - Who could forget this surreal work of art from Jonathan Glazer? Scarlett Johansson does wonderful work here.

Jeune & Jolie - “Young & Beautiful” was an underrated French film from François Ozon. I really loved it a lot, though I might be in the minority.

Snowpiercer - Joon-ho Bong is a crazy good director, and “Snowpiercer” is a thrilling sci-fi action movie far more worthy of your time than most summer blockbusters. 

Top Five - Chris Rock made an excellent film with a deep Woody Allen influence. I really hope he will continue this style into future projects. 

Foxcatcher - A remarkable film. Bennett Miller is on a roll. There’s really nothing to complain about with this film. See it.

The One I Love - A fantastic little gem from Charlie McDowell. Mark Duplass and Elisabeth Moss are great.

The Imitation Game - A very sharp screenplay, and a brilliant performance from Benedict Cumberbatch.

A Most Wanted Man - The last leading performance from my favorite actor. 

Guardians of the Galaxy - Finally, Marvel made their finest MCU film yet. It’s fun and fast and a really great watch. 

Unfortunately I did not get the chance to see “A Most Violent Year”, “Winter Sleep”, “Goodbye to Language 3D”, “Leviathan” and serval other foreign films. I’m sure they all could have made my list if I had seen them. 

Child’s Play

CHILD’S PLAY: in which ( y/n ) reluctantly teaches justin how to bake and the kitchen shenanigans end up being a hearty mix of back and forth banter, playful moments, as well as a little bit of pda. both justin and ( y/n ) have never considered themselves to be anything more than just friends, but despite the simplicity of their relationship there’s absolutely no doubt that there’s a mild tension between the two. and their time in the kitchen ends up proving just that. 

so basically i wanted to write something really fluffy because that was just the type of mood i was in today. i’m actually pretty happy with the way this one turned out, and i hope that you guys like it too. as always, feel free to tell me what you thought about it because i love hearing from y’all. 

Keep reading

Etude House: Wonder Pore Freshner

So thanks to the lovely rivermoda, I have decided to stop being a lazy butt and do some reviews about my Korean skincare lifestyle that I’ve been keeping for over two years now. I have to say that it’s been an amazing experience and I haven’t had as close to clear skin as I do now in literally all my life. Granted, the occasional breakout still happens, but the overall quality (texture, brightness, etc.) has been so vastly different from the acne prone, combination-oily, dull, spotty and sensitive skin I’ve had since hitting puberty. So thank you, Korean skincare for that. Now onto the review!


Today we have the wonderfully amazing Wonder Pore Freshner by Etude House! Everyone who knows me is familiar with my obsession with this cute and fun brand, but I also love the fact that their products have worked really well for me and my skin type. I’ve been using my for roughly six months now (I know, I know, I should have reviewed before xD), I can say there have been true results. But before we get into that, what does the Wonder Pore Freshener do?

The Wonder Pore Freshner is a total solution for pore “troubles”. It is an astringent toner with antiseptic properties that removes oil, dirt, germs, and residues for clear, healthy skin.

It’s 7 effects are the following:

  • Deep cleanses pores

  • Controls sebum

  • Keeps the ideal pH balance (4.5±1)

  • Keeps the elasticity of pores

  • Refines/brightens skin tone

  • Minimizes appreance of enlarged pores

  • Moisturizes pores and facial skin

It is 6 free, meaning it doesn’t include: parabens, mineral oil, artificial fragrance, artificial pigments, talc or animal ingredients.

Weight/Amount – 250 ml


So there’s about three recommended ways for you to use this product according to Etude House, and I’ll admit I’ve only used two of those methods. But, for the purpose of being informative and helpful, I shall discuss them all.

  • TONERFirst, we have the function as a toner. This is primarily why I bought the item, since I needed a toner and a pore controlling one sounded right up my alley! For toning, I simply take a cotton ball or pad, pour some Freshner onto it, and then gently stroke my face with it in upwards and outwards motions. I don’t know how long I do this for, but my skin feels better when it’s absorbed in so I just know.

  • MIST Second, if you put the Freshner into a misting bottle (I own one from a previous product so I didn’t need to buy one. Etude House sells it’s custom sized misting bottle, but you can grab a quick one from the dollar store too), you’ve got a mist! I use this in rotation with my Etude House I’m Blooming Sebum Control Mist and The Face Shop Pure Water Facial Mist in Jeju Orange (a later review on those, promise!) and it’s super refreshing~! I like to spray this just before putting on my face cream if it’s in the sticky summer months, or during the day when my skin needs a picker-upper.

  • SHEET MASKThe third use, which I have not tried, is to soak a cotton mask in the Wonder Pore Freshner and use it like a sheet mask. I’ve been wanting to try this, but at the same time I don’t want to excessively use my miraculous toner, so I haven’t used it as a sheet mask. Maybe when I get the 500ml one, I shall. Basically though, you have one of those dime sized folded sheet masks, you pour the Freshner on it, let the mask absorb the liquid for I’d say at least 20 minutes, and then follow instructions of normal sheet masks. (If you have a sheet mask saved from an older one, like I do, gentle wash it so as not to tear it but thoroughly so it’s hygienic for use, store it in a Ziploc baggie until use, and then try this out!)


So I’m really stupid for not taking a photo of my pores before receiving the Wonder Pore Freshner and since I’ve been using this more than six months, the pictures below probably can’t explain to you how much better my skin has gotten with the use of this. However, for review purposes I tried. This is a before and after picture, where the left is a freshly cleansed “shower face” with my enlarged pores (if you could call them that anymore xD) and right after using my Wonder Pore Freshner. As I’ve said, that difference isn’t extreme, but I’ve also been using this miracle product for a long time and it’s shrunk my pores massively. There is a decrease in size, so can you image what my skin looked like before?

(Photo Warning – Extreme close up of face, please don’t get grossed out!)


  • Claims: It really does cleanse, moisturizes, tighten and prevent enlargement of pores. Those claims are 100% true from my personal testing of this product. It also is amazing at sebum control, yay! In conjunction with that, it’s been helping with my acne control, so I guess that’s five out of the seven claims confirmed? (I’m not sure how to test the pH of my skin at home so I can’t confirm or deny this claim, and I can’t say it has a brightening effect in the typical manner other Korean skincare products have so I also can’t say it does this?)

  • It comes in two sizes (250 ml and 500 ml) which are both great value for price when it comes to product.

  • Not crazy expensive. It’s great quality for price in comparison to the American brands I used to use for my skincare.

  • It has a clean, almost astringent smell? It’s kind of green and citrus-y, and though I’ve read a lot of people don’t like that smell, I really find comfort in it. The Skin Mal:gəm Fresh has a similar scent and I love that one too.


  • I bought the 250 ml because I wasn’t sure of the results this product would have, but was still expecting the press pump. Unfortunately, that feature only comes with the 500 ml version, so I was really upset about that. If you want the press pump (and who wouldn’t after results this awesome?), get the 500 ml size.

  • Difficult to obtain outside of the internet. (I wish Etude House had international stores :O )

Recommendation and Rating:

Should you buy it?

                      ☑ Yes

                       ◻ No

                       ◻ Depends

How do you rate this product (out of 5 stars)?


Repurchase (and where to buy):

I’ll definitely be repurchasing this so long as they make this superb product. I’ll also not make the frugal mistake of only buying the 250 ml. I’ll be getting the 500 ml version for sure.

I bought mine from W2Beauty, a great site run by the lovely Alice and recommend you get it from there. There are also tons of shops on eBay that sell Etude House products, so check out shops there!


Hope you enjoyed my review and let me know if you have questions! I want ti start reviewing things more so keep an eye out for those on occasion~!

Building Blocks of Personality Type - Extraverted Sensing (Se)

by Leona Haas & Mark Hunziker

Dominant for ESTP and ESFP

Auxiliary for ISTP and ISFP

In this chapter, we seek to present a picture of the “pure” Extraverted Sensing that we would see if we could carefully remove it from its natural state where it is influenced and colored by all the other elements of personality. Though no process actually exists separated from the rest of the personality, the portrait that follows reflects core characteristics that are in play whenever Extraverted Sensing is engaged at a conscious level

Extraverted Sensing most clearly resembles the descriptions in the following pages when it is in the dominant (first) position. In fact, these descriptions are based on input from people for whom the process is dominant (ESTP and ESFP). But even with Extraverted Sensing in the first position, what you observe will vary noticeably depending on other factors-particularly whether it is paired up with Introverted Thinking or Introverted Feeling in the auxiliary (second) position 

In order to draw a complete picture of the “essence” of Extraverted Sensing, one must use bits and pieces that cannot individually demonstrate “pure” Se. Like the splashes of color in an impressionist painting, however, the bullets in this chapter, when taken all together, reveal a vivid portrait that will enable you to recognize Extraverted Sensing when you see it. Knowing what the process would look like if it could be separated from other influences is the foundation of process watching the practice that will quickly take you as far as you want to go in understanding personality.

Extraverted Sensing is an information-gathering process. It focuses on the current objective, external world to fully experience the details of the environment through the five senses. Se draws energy and enjoyment directly from people, objects, and events.


Extraverted Sensing

  • Has an outer focus on acquiring information through the five senses.
  • Is the only perception process that is not influenced by associations from the past, present, or future.
  • Is aware of and connected to the current external environment.
  • Quickly notices objective facts with all the details.
  • Relies heavily on unusually accurate visual perception: seeing is believing.
  • Values the object itself, not one’s personal reaction or relationship to it.
  • Seeks the full sensory experience of the environment in the moment.


Extraverted Sensing

  • Looks at things objectively and sees what is physically there.
  • Gathers pure, unfiltered sensory information from the external world.
  • Takes in the current environment as a collection of discrete bits of detailed information.
  • Constantly seeks variety and novelty as sensory experiences change from moment to moment.
  • Needs the immediate sensation of an external object, person, or event in order to have an experience. There is no experience without active involvement in the environment through one or more of the senses. Appreciates vivid details: colors, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures. Seeks raw, unsorted, unaltered experiences in order to feel alive. Is energized by the current experience.


When people are using their preferred Extraverted Sensing

  • Their awareness is entirely focused upon the here and now.
  • Virtually everything that can be detected by the senses gets noticed.
  • The trigger for perception is the current external environment.
  • The world consists only of what can be perceived by the five senses right now.
  • Detailed visual perception is particularly important.
  • A level of attention is sustained that would quickly put others on “data overload.”
  • They do not want to miss anything.
  • They value practical, hands-on experiences above all.
  • Memories from the past and possibilities for the future are not very important.
  • They are acutely aware of what is.
  • Their perceptions are verifiable.
  • Everything is a new experience. No two moments or situations are exactly the same.
  • Anything that is tangible is interesting.
  • Immediate sensory experience is what life is all about. It defines one’s existence.
  • Life is one continual sensual experience.
  • They are enjoying life to the fullest, living for today.
  • The current experience itself has intensity.


When we experience people who are engaging their preferred extraverted Sensing, they

  • Seem to need almost constant external stimulation or they quickly become bored.
  • Seem to miss nothing and overlook no detail of the immediate environment.
  • Can be prone to repeating mistakes by failing to anticipate what is going to happen in the future as a consequence of what is happening now.
  • Can be reflective, but the reflections are tied to the current world.
  • Often have difficulty doing the steps of an operation in an orderly sequence. They prefer a random, “take it as it comes” approach.
  • Possess practical, hands-on skills.
  • Are very down-to-earth, realistic, and pragmatic.
  • Speak about objective facts: what is there, no more and no less.
  • Talk in very literal terms using concrete, sensory, and descriptive present-tense language: “I smell, I hear, I see.”
  • Often show attention by focusing their eyes or tilting their ears or head toward you.
  •  Sometimes can be seen darting their eyes all around the room, observing everything.
  • Listen at first to people telling of their experiences but do not have a need for, or a high interest in, hearing someone else’s stories. Want information from others but not in too much detail. They cannot experience the world through other people’s interpretations. Often listen with intense, focused attention. Their eyes lock on you, following your every gesture. They may move closer or lean in. They are focused on taking in information that they may show no reaction to what you are saying. 
  • Pick up on other people’s body language and other signals and will often automatically mirror them. Tend to use and need nonverbal communication, such as a smile, a wink, or a touch.
  • Appear to accept life as it happens. Seem to relate easily to people, to enjoy being with people. Appear to accept people for who they are – to have few illusions about them.
  • Can be perceived as shallow because of their outward tendency to “go with the flow.” Are always interacting with the environment.
  • Tend to be quick to assess data and to size up a situation. Do not seem to feel a need to conform to what others think is acceptable, assuming that people simply have their own unique styles. Are usually active, restless, and adventurous. Sometimes seem like hyperactive children. The immediate environment is constantly stimulating and distracting them. Are engaging, fun-loving, and social. Are very spontaneous and react quickly to changes in their environment. Can blend into almost any culture, environment, or situation.


Special perspectives and approaches of Extraverted Sensing

  • A “live for today” attitude
  • Learn quickly from experience
  • An aptitude for learning new languages, including the subtle details of intonation and gestures
  • Negotiate by quickly getting to the core of the matter
  • Reliability in observing and reporting objective facts
  • A knack for being a “mover and shaker” when it comes to concrete tasks
  • Can quickly find practical solutions, to find an immediate fix for a problem
  • A willingness to help, to play the role of a good Samaritan


Paraphrased descriptions of what it is like to gather information through one’s preferred Extraverted Sensing

  • I need to actually experience something in order to understand it. I need to either look at a bicycle or at a picture of a bike in order to assemble one. Then I can duplicate what I see. Written instructions are not very helpful.
  • I personally hate history. I figure if it’s already happened, then who cares?
  • I need to see and experience something before I believe it. I’m the classic “doubting Thomas.”
  • In a restaurant, I can be completely attentive to the conversation and interaction at our table and also know everything that’s going on in other parts of the room.
  • I let life happen rather than trying to control it.
  • As a child I had to touch everything. I still do. The textures and colors just grab me.
  • I love to be outside, feeling the sun and the breeze, hearing the insects and the birds. I love the feel of soil on my hands, planting flowers, and pulling weeds.
  • The first thing in the morning, I look outside to check the weather. Then
  • I turn on the news to see what’s happening in the rest of the world.
  • l never watch a taped game or event. If it has already happened, what is the sense of watching?
  • Other adults seem to constantly be telling kids “Don’t touch!” “Don’t put that in your mouth!” But I can relate to the young child’s fascination with exploring and experiencing the environment.
  • I don’t do lists, not even grocery lists. What I buy is what catches my eye.
  • I walk up and down the aisles looking for items that look interesting.
  • I can be observant at the expense of imagination,
  • If you want to get my attention, tell me a story with concrete images.
  • Give me the information I need to do the job, and then let me do it.
  • I show people that I care about them by what I do. Actions speak louder than words.
  • Enjoy it, use it, or put up with it.
  • What you need to know is right in front of you.
  • I tell it like I see it.
  • I value my autonomy and flexibility. If any rules interfere with that, I’ll usually just ignore them.
  • I like school, but would enjoy it more if we could change the daily routine. It’s boring to always know what is coming next.
  • I got into trouble in school for talking and moving around a lot. To this day, I have a hard time sitting still.
  • My style of organization is my own, for example, it’s hard for me to use someone else’s filing system.
  • I’m impulsive, and I have a hard time listening to advice from others.
  • Everything I do is fun. If it isn’t fun, I probably will not do it.
  • I don’t worry about the future. I deal with stuff when it happens.
  • Often I do what I do to get reactions from others. It makes life more interesting. 
  • I tend to jump into the deep end of the pool without thinking.
  • I’m like the Energizer Bunny: I keep going and going. Sitting still wears me out. If I sit still for ten minutes, I fall asleep.
  • When I hit the bed at night, I immediately fall asleep.
  • I am at my best in a crisis. Sometimes if there is no crisis, I will create one.
  • I tend to put everything off to the last minute.
  • I’m in constant motion. I need to move.
  • When looking at a tree, it is not so much like seeing the tree as a whole but seeing every leaf, all the shades of green, the shapes of the leaves, the texture and details of the bark.
  • I usually know the time of day, within a few minutes, without using a watch. I guess I notice environmental cues like shadows or the angle of the sun.
  • In choosing a career, I find I need to actually experience it by watching a video, going to a job site, or even trying it out. A written job description does not interest me or provide the information I need. It is not tangible enough.
  • I get a lot of joy and energy from little things: flowers, clouds, smells. No detail is too small to be a potential source of excitement and delight.
  • I can give you directions to all sorts of places quite easily. I can tell you how many trees you’ll pass and the color of the roof on the house at the corner.
  • My closet is organized by color. If something is not in the right place, color-wise, I have to move it because it is not pleasing to my eye.
  • I just could not do the workshop exercise. The colors of the objects we were working with clashed. It was too distracting.
  • I have never liked tomatoes. However, every so often I have to try one. Since each time it is a new experience, I just might like them that day.
  • I cannot sit still if something is going on. Open space schooling was very difficult for me. I couldn’t tune out the activities that were happening all around. I heard everything that was going on in the classrooms next to mine, and they often sounded as if they were doing something more exciting than we were doing.
  • I have never needed to return a clothing purchase because of a hole or defect. I notice it in the store before I buy it.
  • I rarely need to buy a drink when I go out. I always know someone soon will. Before the night is over, I’ll know almost everyone.
  • Often, if someone is wearing clothing that clashes, I find it very distracting and cannot concentrate on what the person is saying.


Scenes from the world of Extraverted Sensing

  • If I’m boating with friends, I’ll be the one who is really enjoying the moment. I will be talking to everyone, feeling the wind, hearing the sea gulls, jumping in the water to see how it feels.
  • In a “type-alike” group exercise that involves describing an object, our group is usually the first to finish or will divert into other activities before any other group. There is only so much concrete data in a simple object. When you finish saying how the object looks, feels, smells, sounds, and tastes, you are done. There is nothing more to describe.
  • Visiting an art gallery with friends, I realized that no one else saw the details in the artwork that I noticed immediately. In a painting of a house, for example, I saw the tiny key in the door. My friends had not noticed it and were amazed that I had. On the other hand, I can’t remember what I wore yesterday and have only a vague recollection of what I did.
  • I like to smell, touch, taste, or even listen to produce before buying. To decide whether fruit and vegetables are fresh and ripe, I tap on watermelons, smell cantaloupes, and taste grapes. I usually prefer to determine whether milk or food in the refrigerator is fresh by smell rather than reading the expiration date.
  • I can go back somewhere after being away for years and negotiate the streets effortlessly. However, if some key feature has been changed, I get confused and lost. I navigate by landmarks or objects, never street names.
  • I visit my daughter every week. One day I drove past her street. I had to turn around and go back. For ten years, without knowing it, I knew where to turn because of a mailbox on the comer that was made from an old stove. When it was removed, I just drove right by her street without realizing it.
  • In a restaurant, it’s difficult to order from reading the menu. I often order based upon seeing or smelling food from another table: “I’ll have what that guy is having.”
  • After an exercise involving the use of apples, the virtually identical apples were collected and mixed together. A man with a preference for Extraverted Sensing was able to instantly pick out not only his apple but those of the people on either side of him as well.
  • At a wedding, I could not eat for fear that I might miss something. I had to be up walking around and talking to people. I only knew four people when I arrived. By the end of the reception, I knew almost everyone. I was even invited back to the house with the family, for the opening of the presents.


Unique strengths of Extraverted Sensing

  • Accurate, objective, and detailed observation of a wide range of experiences in the current environment
  • Enjoyment of life

  • Can see all sides of an issue

  • An aptitude for hands-on work

  • Extremely reliable visual perception

  • A talent for teaching others, by example, to smell the roses

  • A knack for bringing excitement and life to any group

  • Realism and practicality