i love everyone in this bar ; ;

AO3 Filtering and You!

So I’ve seen a couple people talking about hating to see certain pairings and characters when searching on AO3, and I thought I’d take a moment to teach everyone A Thing I Love To Do. You can absolutely and very very easily filter out pairings and characters when you search for fics!

Step one: Find the tag for the character/pairing you want to filter out.

You’re gonna have to click on it (I’M SORRY I KNOW BUT ONLY FOR A SECOND).

Step two: After clicking on that tag you hate, find the RSS Feed button up on top and click that.

This is gonna bring up a screen full of gibberish. But it’s okay! This is good gibberish.

Step three: In the address bar, find the numbers that appear after tags/

That’s the numerical code that AO3 has attached to that tag.

Step four: Copy that number, then paste it in the search bar with a - in front of it

Step five: Success! Pressing search will remove that tag from the search results.

For best results, save all the tags you hate in a document and copy/paste when needed. You can totally stack these filters as much as you want, just make sure there’s a - in front of each tag code.

But Lady, you ask, how does this work? Well, the AO3 search engine, like every single search engine you will ever use, uses something called boolean searching. Putting that - in front of what you don’t want will tell the search engine “show me everything that fits this criteria, EXCEPT NOT this other criteria”.

The problem with AO3 is, if you search “-Character1/Character2″, it will fail to filter out stories tagged with “Character2/Character1″, or any stories where the tag uses a character’s nickname. But thanks to something that AO3 calls tag wrangling, both of those options will be stored within the same numerical code, so that a search for one will also bring up the other. You can use that in your filtering to ensure that all iterations of that pairing you hate will be removed.

WARNING: this currently only applies to character and pairing tags, and only the tags that have gotten enough fics to have been “wrangled” by AO3 and given a tag code. It also won’t work on stories where the tag has been misspelled.

I love the Matt/Shiro BrOTP so have some headcanons that have been sitting in my drafts for weeks

-Matt is a living meme and Shiro questions their friendship every day

-“You know you love me~”

-Everyone questions how someone so calm and mature can be best friends with Matt and Matt kinda laughs in their face

-Matt: Calm? Mature? This guy almost fought a five-year-old over a chocolate bar!
Shiro: I really like the brand oKAY???

-Matt has tried to set Shiro up on one too many dates. It’s really easy since everyone and their mother has a crush on Shiro but Shiro needs Matt to stop.

-He did after a while until Shiro developed a crush on Allura. Cupid Matt was back. Shiro wanted to kill himself.

-Constantly making fun of each other because they love each other

-Shiro: Matt, if you don’t stop, I will literally sit on you.
Matt: Try me.
*high-pitched screams*

-You wouldn’t believe how often that happens. Spoil alert: A lot.

-They’re pretty competitive when it comes to each other. Whether it comes to bets or board games. Tears are shed. Friendships are broken. It gets pretty intense.

-Matt: I got to move on and be who I am! I just don’t belong here, I hope you understand! We might find our place in this world someday. But at least for now, I gotta find my own way…
Shiro: Don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic over a pizza slice?

-Once Shiro ate the last brownie and Matt wouldn’t talk to him for a week. The dude really loves his food.

-Shiro: No.
Matt: This is homophobia at its finest. ://

-Once they had a convo on what their ship name would be if they dated, Shiro came up with Shatt, Matt disowned him

-Death jokes make up half of their friendship.

-Shiro: I’m going to propel myself off of this balcony.
-Matt: Not without me, you’re not.

JIMIN “SEXUAL”-”LOST”-”LOVE” PLAYLIST?!

*In this post the word SEX will be replaced by “RAMEN” (for the lolz)

Ok, So no one have been talking about this. Even if whoever I asked said he shared the same reaction as me. JIMIN SPOTIFY PLAYLIST YALL. Almost half (8/19) of it is just about ramen, like all kinds of ramen. Does it mean that he “JOAH? JOAH!” ramen that much? But there is more than just ramen. Let’s look at it together: 

SONGS ABOUT RAMEN: 

Originally posted by 9taefox

SONGS ABOUT BEING LOST & HARDSHIPS OF FAME: (WARNING, grab tissue)

Originally posted by hunnysyub

  • Eels - I need some sleep: “I need some sleep .. I’m in too deep, and the wheels keep spinning ‘round. Everyone says I’m getting’ down too low. Everyone says you just gotta let it go”.      
  • Justin Bieber - Mark My Words: “Oh I don’t wanna live a lie”
  • Frank Ocean - Lost:  “ Lost, lost in the heat of it all”
  • Ty Dolla $ign - Never Be The Same:  “ Now I done seen a lot of things. Know the trouble the money and fame brings. This time I swear it’s different. I’m in the right place. I know I’m in the right place” 

BREAKUPS / LOVE-HURT:

Originally posted by orchid-bud

  • Kehlani - You Should Be Here: “Don’t know where you went but you’re lost now“  (2015- I am sure he knew Kehlani only this year)
  • Miguel - face the sun: “No matter where I go I belong with you … you’re the only one” (2015. This one mmm)
  • gnash - i hate u, i love u: “If I were you I would never let me go” I second that. (2016)
  • Chris Brown - So Cold: “Damn, I want my baby back. It’s so cold without her . Cold without her . She’s gone”. (2009-My ghost senses tell me this one was adressed to his first love maybe)

BEING SO IN LOVE: (This one SCREAMS Jikook to me)

Originally posted by jeonjeonggukks

By @mimibtsghost ^^

Hormones

Hiyaaaaaaaaaaaaa… I did it! Finally managed to finish this one! Thank you for everyone who enjoyed the preview, I really hope you buys enjoy the full thing. Please let me know what you thought of it! Lots of love, B xx

***

Originally posted by grabiajulia

Hormones.

They’re funny little things. 

Sometimes they take over your body and make you do things that you wouldn’t ever do if it weren’t for the obscene amount of hormones coursing through your bloodstream - you’d never eat a plate full of pasta and a whole chocolate bar right after or cry at the butter commercial cause that family looks just so damn happy that they have their butter and each other… And you would not, under any circumstances, be thinking about how much you want your friend to fuck you into oblivion if it weren’t for the hormones.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

bucky tell us a story about darcy

darcy lewis goes drinking with thor.

that alone should be enough to send your imaginations spinning off to wild places, but that, my friends, is only where our story begins.
it is also something you should know, just in general, in case you happen to encounter darcy lewis.
she’s tazed a god twice, and she goes drinking with thor. on a regular basis.
the first time thor wanted to go drinking after i showed up, lewis was there too. and naturally, if thor was going out so was she. neither of them knew us newbie avengers well yet, but being sociable sort of people, they invited us to tag along. scott immediately agreed, but sam was caught up doing some beta testing in the labs with tony, and said he would catch up when they were done.
so darcy, thor, scott and i went out drinking.
fun fact about thor: it takes him approximately one million alcohols to get drunk, but once he’s there, he likes to sing. preferably epic ballads of victory in battle, but he’s pretty much game for any catchy song that will get a bar excited. that being the case, lewis and thor’s go-to midgardian bar is a karaoke joint.
im sure you begin to see where things are going wrong.
fun fact about darcy lewis? she can also hold her alcohol, but cannot carry at tune. like. at all.
that doesnt stop her from singing, mind you. gotta respect a lady who knows shes terrible but enjoys herself anyway.
scott apparently loves karaoke. i dont know why that surprised me, but it did. even more surprising? hes not actually that bad, although like 90% of his song choices were bruce springsteen. no clue why. anyway, thor was delighted by having a buddy who was not only willing but able to sing with him, and after scott got over his star-struck-ness they had a pretty great time.
it was a good thing that thor and lewis went to that bar on the regular, because im sure any place that hadnt been prepared for them would have kicked all of us out. as it was, they finally booted us out the door after a rousing rendition of ‘wrecking ball’ had most of the bar on their feet. and broke two tables.
(thor apparently settles his tab there in asgardian gold, so no hard feelings from the bartenders.)
the night was young and all of us had enough booze in our systems that we decided to catch a cab back to the tower and see if we could rope anyone else into some shennanigans. thor was buzzed at least, which for thor means his voice is even boomier and his gestures are more expansive–you gotta be ready to duck. scott was drunk, no question about it, and that was probably why theyd wound up singing wrecking ball in the first place. scott’s a cheerful if floppy, “ i love you, i love all of you guys, i love everyone in this bar ” kind of drunk, and was mostly travelling by merit of being wrapped around thors bicep. i was a little buzzed myself, and lewis had had nearly as much as i did. remarkably, she seemed to be chugging along pretty well, some weaving and slurring aside. the lady lives up to her god-tazing reputation.
anyway, we got out of the cab at the tower and started making our way to the doors. scott had partially detached from thors arm and needed extra support, so i was helping keep him from capsizing while lewis trailed a few steps behind the three of us, making color commentary of our three stooges act.
and then out of nowhere, she just…yelled.
all three of us whipped around as quickly as three drunk superpeople can, just in time to see darcy lewis dish out what looked to be a pretty dang textbook perfect roundhouse kick to the chest of some poor guy.
the guy went down. lewis went down too, because the kick had totally overbalanced her. thor and i dropped scott and ran over to help.
which was when sam sat up and said ‘that was a hell of a kick’
because apparently hed finished up his testing and gone out to catch up with us, made it partway down the block to call a cab, then saw us getting out of our taxi. he jogged back–not being particularly stealthy, but we were drunk–and put his hand on lewis’s shoulder to get her attention.
lewis, having pretty poor vision even sober, and worse vision when drunk and without her glasses, just saw some big male figure who’d popped up out of nowhere and grabbed her by the shoulder.
so naturally she kicked him in the chest.
she apologized profusely, but the rest of us thought it was pretty funny. and sam was impressed the next morning when he discovered that she’d left a visible footprint on his chest.
darcy insists she has no idea why she did it. or where she learned to kick like that.
the rest of us have just chalked it up to mysterious darcy lewis powers.

another lil zine update!

so it’s been just a day but the preorder has already far exceeded my expectations and is kicking my ass and i’m just so grateful for all the support, so thank y'all so much!

at this rate, i will be printing more copies than i originally thought so again, if you aren’t able to preorder it’s safe to say that you’ll be able to grab one later on. orders will close during april while i finish/mail out the preorders but i’ll try to have them open again for regular sale in may :3

and again, i will also have plenty of copies at cons i’m attending (my schedule is my about/sidebar)

i’m making a lot of new products this year so the overwhelming support with just this one has me very excited! thanks so much again TvT/

MY JOHNLOCK FIC REC LIST
  1. Absolutely all of these fics have happy endings. I can’t read hardcore angst or I’ll die. I mean it. 
  2. If there are any other relationships in these fics then it’ll be minor but Johnlock is def front and center and endgame for all of them.
  3. I’ve avoided reccing the really famous Johnlock fics. I love them but all these fics need more love cause they’re all so amazing! 
  4. 99% of these fics are bottomlock but since I don’t care who bottoms or who tops (as long as they fuck and as long as they are in character) (that means no DFP Sherlock) (or Baby Princess John) so if you have a problem with toplock in general, tread carefully.
  5. All of these fics are from AO3. 
  6. Also please excuse my crappy summaries.
  7. Be sure to read all the tags before reading!


EXPLICIT 

  • The Dialogue of John and Sherlock Series by cwb - Sherlock decides that he and John are in a romantic relationship. John tries to educate Sherlock on what that actually means. (this is the cutest, Sherlock is literally hopeless)
  • The Bachelors’ Handfasting by jurgbury - 1800s Scotland where younger Sherlock and older John are in an arranged marriage. (John is so fucking hot in this I want to die)
  • Thirteen Dances (Or, The Doctor Dances) by Knackorcraft - John can dance!!!
  • Hellfire by testosterone_tea - Magical Realism! John is a Berserker (powerful fire monster thing that’s supposed to be extinct) and is believed to be a threat to the country and Mycroft wants him held captive so of course Mage Sherlock is like NO.
  • Bury the Bells by unknownsister - Parade’s End AU. 
  • The Kepler Problem by kinklock - Alienlock and space-explorer/worker/maintainer/something John! (all of Kinklock’s fics are awesome af really)
  • The High Tide Series by stardust_made - A rich arse of a bloke tries to woo a clueless John and Sherlock just about loses his mind I LOVE JEALOUS SHERLOCK (The first story is rated T but the other two are E so…) (my fave)
  • The Haunting of Sherlock Holmes by MapleleafCameo - Sherlock investigates a 60 year old disappearance in the countryside and gets a shock along the way. (Not angsty, don’t worry)
  • The Life that is Waiting For by Youameliakaleigh - Sherlock is the son of a Goddess (so basically a demigod) and John is his trusty guardian/teacher/person/Sun sentinel okay just read!
  • Neighbours by thelookyouredoingthelookagain - John moves into 22IC and Sherlock is very silly, as he always is. 
  • Irrational and Sentimental Series by apliddell - Post S3 lovely Johnlock sweetness.
  • Intimacy Series by sussexbound (SamanthaLenore) - Love confessions and then smut! (First story is T later story is E) 
  • Never Have I Ever by hudders-and-hiddles (huddersandhiddles) - The boys play Never Have I Ever with some of the Met and they get together cause John and Sherlock are so dumb that it takes alcohol and a truth game for them to realize that their feelings are REQUITED DAMN IT okay okay I’m sorry canon stresses me out.
  • First and Only by crimsonwinter - Babylock to Kidlock to Teenlock to Unilock, growing up with John. WIP
  • A Study in Movement by Supernova12 - Teen rugby John is working on an art project and needs to improve drawing movement so he draws teen ballet Sherlock. 
  • A Hard Day’s Night by 221Btls - John the Knight and Sherlock the peasant. WIP
  • To the Sticking Place by blueink3 - John and Sherlock as theatre actors, both acting as the main roles in a Hamlet production! WIP (I don’t know why this doesn’t get more love, this is the theatre version of Performance In A Leading Role!) (my fave) 
  • How Do You Know? by LaurieRoar - John having sex with Virgin Sherlock to see whether or not his claim that he doesn’t like sex is true. (my fave) (but I hardly ever see this recced) (super fucking hot)
  • Well Begun Is Half Done by Avice - Sherlock tryna seduce John but John’s like “Fuck that, let’s get down to it”. (Avice’s fics are severely underrated, they are all awesome)
  • Angel Hair Series by justacookieofacumberbatch (buffyholic) - Successful surgeon John and waiter Sherlock get it on wohoho. WIP
  • A Study in Sex Series by Castiel_For_King - John teaching Sherlock The Ways of Sex.
  • The City of Dreams Series by bittergreens - Lots of sex? Lol.
  • Spinning by Tispy-the-Minx (ComeAlongPond14) - Seventeen-year-old John is assigned to Sherlock’s care.
  • For you, there’s only me by shock_blanket - So much pining the boys are idiots I swear to God.
  • Six Degrees of Separation by testosterone_tea - Sherlock highkey wants to meet John but treats it all like a ridiculous experiment to stay cool, I could kill him, he’s so ridiculous. (testosterone_tea is awesome, their fics need more love)
  • Lovesick by distantstarlight - Sherlock getting sick and John taking care of him and also sex.
  • The Republic of Heaven by Blind_Author - His Dark Materials AU. WIP (okay so this is my fave out of all my faves but it hasn’t been updated in forever but I refuse to believe it’s been abandoned or else I’ll perish) (the fave)
  • Imaginary Pictures by crossroads - Teenlock falling in love with John. Loads of pining. (this needs more love)
  • In Care Of by quietasasleepingarmy -  John writes instructions for Sherlock’s ‘lover’ on how to care for him aka I hate them PLEASE DIE.
  • In A Changing Age by allonsys_girl -  Sherlock wakes up in the 19th century, with no idea how he got there aka I love them I’M GONNA DIE.
  • Pretending to Be by 221BJen (jcoz1701) - John is hired to track down Sherlock, who is an asset to The Centre, a secret agency.
  • The Wrong Wagon by DancingGrimm - Molly starts crushing on John instead of Sherlock when the doctor saved her life. Sherlock (aka the gay baby loser that I hate) notices and just about goes insane.
  • Angel With A Fiddle by Remy_Writes5 - Young soldier John meets violinist Sherlock at a carnival the day before he is to be deployed to Germany to serve in World War 1.
  • The Boffin and the Bachelor by starrysummernights - Uh… John and Sherlock getting together and there’s some fluff and some smut and a bit of angst? (Idk how to summarize this. Really good, though)
  • Fool For You by sheerrloockk - Poor clueless Sherlock proposes to John on April Fools’ Day by accident.
  • Operation Inked by QuinnAnderson - John has a tattoo and Sherlock makes it his mission to see it cause he dumb.
  • Discerning Tastes by Irrevocably_Sherlocked - Sherlock tries to get some good Scotch for Mycroft’s birthday but is faced with a hot, kilt-wearing John and practically loses all his genius because of it. (Irrevocably_Sherlocked’s fics need more attention cause they are the bombdotcom)
  • Lightning and Sea Glass by 221b_careful_what_you_wish_for - Frankenlock AU. (This is a bit angsty so watch out)
  • In Nomine by Atiki - Sherlock can only manage to say John’s name when they have sex. (Sherlock is too cute, I will perish)
  • See Recipe for Details by pandoras_chaos - John makes a list of things Sherlock likes to eat. (Reading this made me hungry. For food. Obvs)


MATURE

  • Tell it Like it is by testosterone_tea -  Sherlock and John go out to the pub with some of the officers from Scotland Yard and played some games while they’re at it. (This is fucking hilarious) 
  • The Semantics of Crop Circle Formation: a case study by Sherlock Holmes [unpublished] by canolacrush - John and Sherlock are investigating a weird extraterrestrial-like case but for once, John knows more about it than Sherlock does wink wink read it! (my fave) (this needs heaps more love wtf!!!)
  • My Life Had Stood A Loaded Gun by HeartOfTheMirror - Magical Realism! John is a Healer. (I hate Mycroft in this)
  • Aparecium by 1electricpirate - Potterlock! Sherlock is a Muggle but John isn’t. WIP
  • Enigma by khorazir - The Imitation Game-esque fic. WIP
  • Splatter Patterns by beezee - John is an artist and Sherlock is an art critic.
  • Apprehension by BashfulBunny (Aequoreavictoria) - John is hired to kidnap Sherlock but things go awry obvs. WIP
  • Captains of Industry series by 221b_hound - John is a hot barista and Sherlock is, of course, a fumbling mess. (This series is awesome, the whole gang is here, working close by.)
  • where the good things grow by anchors - Sherlock has a magic garden he uses to brew tea and John has a tea shop. (This fic is so sweettttt and deserves more love)
  • Down with this Ship by FrostedFlame (PinkOrchid) - Sherlock takes John to a gay bar expecting him to be uncomfortable but BAM John the Raging Bisexual comes out to play and shocks the fuck out of the detective.
  • The Thin Line by Odamaki - Sherlock and John in a super snug closet  and John gets a raging boner lolllllllll.
  • The Frost Child by twistedthicket1 - Everyone have gifts and John keeps his a secret but Sherlock finds out. (my fave)
  • Dawn Before the Rest of the World Series by PoppyAlexander - 1920s England, butler Sherlock and gardener John. (John is so romantic in this, I want to cry)
  • Dreamer by MagdaTheMagpie - After Afghanistan, John keeps dreaming about Sherlock dying and does everything he can to stop it. (my fave)
  • ROT-13 by berlynn_wohl -  John the spaceman crashes his pod in Sherlock the alien’s planet where he meets Sherlock and fuck it’s hilarious just read.
  • Don’t Underestimate John Watson by BakerTumblings - John is offered the role of Lester Nygaard in Fargo and basically never underestimate him, for reals.
  • Brother Mine by annabagnell - Parentlock and MPreg! Sherlock gives birth to a baby much to the impatience and delight of excited big sister Michaela (This is so sweet)
  • Care of Magical Creatures by stillaseeker - Some Potterlock domestic cuteness and hilarity. 
  • Ink and Honour Series by moonblossom - 1800s. Mrs. Hudson takes in young Captain John Watson who was injured in the Napoleonic wars alongside her young ward Sherlock. (first story is M but the ratings after that are all over the place so read tags) 


TEEN AND UP AUDIENCES 

  • Love or What You Will by miss_frankenstein - John is an English professor and Sherlock is a PhD student assigned to be his TA. (I just… I love this one so much… I will die) (my fave) (this fic introduced me to my favourite poem, Sylvia Plath’s Mad Girl’s Love Song)
  • Bookshop Series by alivingfire - John meets Sherlock at a bookshop.
  • The Master of Latham Hall by Kryptaria - John and Sherlock investigates murders at Latham Hall and is in for a bit of a shock. (A bit of angst but not in regards to John and Sherlock) (I love you. I will always love you. God, I die every time)
  • A Haunted House series by cassyl - Major Character Deaths but not angsty. (Can’t say anything more cause spoilers but seriously, don’t worry, just read)
  • Once Upon a Beast Becoming by antietamfalls - Sherlock is an ancient being cursed by a Druid and John is the only person who can rid him of it. (loveeeeeeeee)
  • between each beat are words unsaid by darcylindbergh, hudders-and-hiddles (huddersandhiddles) -  On their wedding night, John and Sherlock gift each other with a collection of writings they wrote about the other. (Sweet af)  
  • Deleted Files Series by oh_my_stars_and_sky - Every time Sherlock deletes something from his Mind Palace it shows up in John’s mind. WIP
  • Four Shots Series by Opy3332 - John works at a Starbucks at SIS Headquarters and meets Sherlock.
  • Quality of Life Series by cleflink - John has great healing powers! WIP
  • Truth or Consequences Series by Majela - John gives Sherlock a taste of his own medicine in regards to drugging people without their consent.
  • Witness Protection by missilemuse -  John used to be Jim’s fiance but he finds out about him being super evil and all and testifies against him. He meets Sherlock and ya know: lurve. (my fave)
  • The Red Dianthus by kinklock -  The boys investigate a mysterious disappearance in a supposedly haunted house, and get much more than they bargained for.  
  • Watch What They Photograph Series by Itsallfine - “If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph.” (First two stories are rated T the last is E)
  • A Different Kind of Complication by Atisenia - John, living alone in 221B, started getting letters addressed to Sherlock.
  • Without a Doubt by prettysailorsoldier - 1950s Teenlock.
  • The Strait of Juan de Fuca by mightypog - Post Reichenbach. John is distant from Sherlock even though he has forgiven him and Sherlock tries hard to fix their friendship.
  • Turbulence in the Sky by esplanade - Sherlock wants to tell John how he feels about him but he keeps spouting bullshit instead oh my poor child…
  • Affectionate Investment by MillieTheFreak - Sherlock and John feeding each other like it’s the most natural thing in the world I LOVE THEM
  • What Would Sherlock Do? Series by EinahSirro - John uses his deductive powers to find out if Sherlock reciprocates his romantic feelings and to seduce him! 


GENERAL AUDIENCES

  • The Contingency Plan by mightypog -  When Sally and Greg prevent Sherlock from committing suicide when he thinks John has been killed, Sherlock and Sally reconsider each other. (bit of angst, nothing heavy) (this is so real like this is exactly how canon Sherlock will react if anything happens to John) (my fave)
  • Evidence by JezebelGoldstone - Angry papa Lestrade comes bounding up to 221B demanding the return of all the evidence Sherlock stole so the detective tells the DI about some of the evidence so he’ll let him keep it. (Sherlock is amazingly sentimental in this, I love him)
  • And as the seasons change, I love you more by Teatrolley -  A year in the lives of John and Sherlock, essentially. (I will bawl my eyes out, this is so… just so! So much) (This isn’t rated so I’ll just put it under here) 


If I’ve mentioned your fic here and you want me to credit you or add a link to your Tumblr or anything like that, let me know! 

I’ll be updating this post regularly as more great fics will inevitably come along. And I’ll always be happy to rec specific fics to anyone and everyone! Just ask. I read Johnlock fanfic 24/7 every single day so might as well utilize it somehow. 

things i loved in the clip
- the boy squad supporting evak
- isak having the confidence to go up and sing/show PDA in front of everyone
- sweet sana and chris moment
- sana’s happy face when the balloon squad showed up
- eskild
- the whole bar singing with evak

things i never want to see again
- sana getting dealt 3 blows in a row and ending up heartbroken
- noora/yousef in any romantic capacity
- isak getting punched/hurt
- even’s fearful/insecure face when the balloon boys showed up
- vilde/magnus (just no)
- wilhellm mentioned (hard no. not ever)
- girls pitted against each other for the sake of drama
- love triangles
- russebuss talk (probably too much to wish for)
- everyone walking away from sana/stabbing her in the back
- negative implications about the balloon squad without giving any answers
- noora being outright vindictive/malicious

in the heights au: everything is the same except sonny is actually invited to ninas dinner

advice for when u feeling off your game
  • keep that chin up and ya shoulders back. imagine your spine is a steel rod that, if needed, you can use to beat enemies up with
  • if ya wanna avoid eye contact, find the horizon: a far wall, an exit sign, etc. keep your eyes focused on it, and ignore ppl in ya peripherals
  • strut briskly with ya hands held in loose fists, relaxed at your sides. if ya wanna look bomb af put a lil swing in your hips
  • need to get past someone or interrupt a conversation? don’t fidget off to the side: say “excuse me” right when you walk up
  • if you make eye contact w/ someone, give a close-mouthed smile and try to make ur eyes crinkle. retain eye contact for a count of 2, then move on. 
  • if ur nervous about being underdressed or overdressed, arriving too late or too early, etc.- you don’t need to advertise or apologize about it to everyone you meet unless u wanna discuss it
  • rock that small talk. compliments are easiest + fool proof. praise some dude’s shirt, some lady’s earrings. by having micro-conversations with ppl, you avoid lengthier conversations OR standing off in the corner by urself
  • if ya feel overwhelmed, give urself a breather. u can easily excuse urself with a polite “it’s been a pleasure speaking with you! please excuse me, and i do hope you have a lovely night/morning/afternoon.”
  • keep hydrated and make sure u have snacks. granola bars are good things to keep in pockets/purses. alcohol does NOT help in these situations, go for good ol’ H2 of 0
  • remind urself that u have survived every day of ur life up until this point, and u will absolutely make it through this one
  • go get ‘em tiger

So I’m having a pretty chill birthday (because the last two days have been EXHAUSTING) and i want to say thank you again for all the sweet birthday wishes! my 27th year wouldn’t have been half of what it was without this fandom, so it seems like a good time to share something orange and gay :) 

anyway, this is again part of a 5 things orange fic i’ve been writing for over a month that has been put on hold due to finale agonies. i’ve also posted one of these five things HERE (which is actually 3 of 5). this is the first one, and it makes sense to post today, because silver also (theoretically) has a birthday and flint tries to make it nice. emphasis on tries.


The mid-morning heat is thick and relentless, and Flint’s standing on a ladder in his grove, feeling the sweat drip down his spine, thinking about how there’s really no relief from this weather, not even in September, when suddenly he remembers Silver telling him he was born in the summertime.

He freezes, arm outstretched towards an orange. He remembers Silver telling him he didn’t know when the exact day was, but he just chose a new summer day each year to mark the occasion.

The autumnal equinox is next week. Summer is over. And Flint hadn’t done anything. Silver hadn’t said anything. Perhaps it was payback for Flint failing to mention his own birthday. Perhaps he’d simply forgotten, too.

Still. Flint should have remembered.

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It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia opening credits featuring Charlie’s Paddy’s Pub song

anonymous asked:

Okay but think about this: It's another RFA party and the theme is karaoke. MC ends the party with revealing her special talent: Rapping.

I AM 100% FOR THIS TBH (ง ˙o˙)ว


{RFA PARTY}

  • It was nearing the end of the event
  • Everybody was pretty damn drunk off of the copious amounts of fine wine Jumin supplied
  • It was more like an afterparty at this point
  • Everybody was relaxed and laughing
  • You were all sitting together  joking around
  • Most had gotten a turn on the stage to sing karaoke by this point
  • Yoosung and Saeyoung sung a duet together
  • Zen was cut off
  • Now they were all urging you to go up and take the mic
    • “Come on, MC. I’m sure you’ll be great!” Jaehee pressed
    • “Oh…Alright! I’ll do it!” you ran to the stage
  • They were cheering for you from their seats
    • “What do you think she’ll sing? I bet it will be something cute like her! A pop song maybe?!” Yoosung was starry-eyed
    • “5 bucks says she picks ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” Saeyoung laughed
    • “I hope it’s a soulful love ballad,” Zen hiccuped
    • “Will you guys shut the hell up. She’s about to start,” Saeran barked
  • Your cheeks were flush and you cleared your throat
    • “Ahem…”
  • RAPPER MODE ⇨E N G A G E D
  • Holy damn
  • You’re spittin’ fire
  • Bars to rival Nicki in Monster
  • Literally everyones jaws drop
  • EVERYONE
  • Yoosung fainted for a second after screaming really loud omg
  • Zen whips his phone out and is recording
    • “Holy SHIT IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?!” Saeyoung is drunkenly adjusting his glasses
  • Saeran has kicked his damn chair over in excitement and is now bobbing to the flow omg he’s so proud
    • “V ARE YOU-? OMG Guys V is passed out drunk on the floor and someone…drew kitty whiskers and a dot on his nose who did that?!” Jaehee burst out laughing
  • Saeyoung snickered and pat the marker in his pocket
    • “Where did Jumin go he’s missing this?!” Yoosung looked around
    • “He’s stumbling up to the stage whaaaaat????” Saeyoung gasped
    • “YOU BETTER NOT STOP HER YOU JERK OR YOU’LL REGRET IT!” Zen screamed
    • “He’s GRABBING THE OTHER MIC!” Saeran yelled
  • O M G
  • JUMIN AND MC RAP BATTLE
  • He started rattling off lines
  • HE WAS PRETTY GOOD
  • EVERYBODY HAS LOST THEIR SHIT AT THIS POINT
  • Saeyoung is rolling around on the floor screaming “IVE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN THANK YOU JESUS”
  • Yoosung and Jaehee are hyperventilating
  • Zens hands are shaking from screaming as he tries to get this ALL ON FILM
  • SAERAN HAS JUMPED UP ON THE NEAREST TABLE AND IS HOLDING UP HIS LIGHTER LIKE ITS A DAMN ROCK CONCERT
  • They are Sh00k
  • This is the greatest party E V E R
  • Jumin and you are just going back and forth like nothing and feeding off everyones energy
  • He’s good but you kill him with your last verse
  • You drop the mic and the whole RFA rushes the stage and just
I think I’ve had a misconstrued vision of love. I thought love meant constant texting, never spending a second apart, never having a fight. I thought things had to be picture perfect for a love to be real and I would need to do anything possible to reach these unattainable standards. Love doesn’t have to be like that. I’ve come to realize that love can be the exact opposite. Love is being able to trust who you’re with when they’re at the bar with their friends, without needing to hear from them every few minutes. Love is helping her pick out the hottest outfit to go to the club with, even though you won’t be going with her; because she deserves to feel beautiful on a night out. Love is spending days apart and acknowledging that everyone needs alone time, but it doesn’t mean they don’t care. Love is arguing. Love is getting annoyed that she’s late to every date, every party, but never leaving without her. Love isn’t always perfect. Love doesn’t have to be only happiness to be healthy. Love can be every emotion built into one, but the good ones outweigh the bad. Love is knowing that no matter what, you can feel safe, secure and healthy with yourself and with your relationship together. Love is everything.
—  Love is you.

Some Things Kent Parson Has Said to the Rookies While Drunk:

1. “My cat is more beautiful than all of you ugly fuckers combined and if you don’t think so then everyone can suck it and get out of my house,” then proceeded to cry into a random rookie’s arms for no particular reason.

2. “I just want to eat cereal out of the Cup again. I ask for so little–” (”Parser, you said if your future spouse doesn’t buy you a ring with a diamond that’s bigger than your face, you’ll blow your brains out.”) “……Get out of my house.” 

3. “See that guy over there? I’m going to climb him like a tree. Hold my drink.” (“No, Parser–”) “If I don’t come out of the bathroom in ten minutes, assume that I’ve died by dick–” (“Jesus, I’m taking you home.”)

4. “Fuck, I have to dance. It’s Britney. This is my moment.” (”Kent, please don’t–” Kent slaps the rookie’s hands away.) “My loneliness is killing me–don’t fucking touch me, James–

5. (Post-bar hopping. A rookie is petting Kent’s hair, hoping that he’ll go to sleep soon, but Kent shoots right up for a brief moment.) “You guys are the best teammates a guy can ask for. Thanks for taking me home. Please don’t leave me alone. I love everyone. Except you, James. But only because you used all my Nutella and put the jar back. You think I wouldn’t notice? What the fuck, man.”

BONUS +1, at the Parson-Mashkov wedding:
“You know, the diamond he got wasn’t the size of my face. But that’s okay, because he’s got a huge–” ( “Okay, Parser, we know, your husband has a huge fucking dick. Congrats.”) “What? No. I was going to say, ‘huge heart.’ You fucking sickos. Stop thinking about my husband’s penis.” (”We weren’t.”) “It is pretty fucking big though.” (”God, Parser, why would you–” All rookies and Kent chug their drinks.)

6

since everyone loves the beauty and the beast au so much i redraw these screencaps i saved a while ago???????? john needs to stop fighting wolves and yelling at alex for tryin to help (dw alex but him in his place by bein like “listen bitch im trying to help u”)