i love books more than i love most people

I hope Thedas has self-help books, and I hope one of them is called something like “So You Love a Fereldan, And They Have a Mabari: How to Handle Not Being the Most Important Someone in Your Beloved’s Life”

I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for you because she loves you more than anything. She probably loved you more than most people ever did. She looked at you like you were the most amazing person ever. No matter what you did or what you said. She was always there for you, and supported you in all your dreams and your endeavors. She always believed in you. She was happy trying to make you happy. But I guess that just wasn’t enough for you. But one day it’ll hit you, maybe when you’re driving and her favorite song comes on, or when you come across a joke that she used to love telling, and it’ll hit you like a punch in the stomach. You. Lost. Her. And you’ll feel it sting, you’ll realize that you lost the one person that would have done anything for you, anything just to see you smile. But you gave that all up for lust, and a warm body. You might even try to reach out to her. But then you’ll see, you’ll see she is now happy without you. For a time she thought that she lost you, but that is terribly wrong. You lost her.
—  You lost her (via young-wildandfresh)
Why I love Amanda Palmer: An Election Night Story by M.L. Wahl

Dear Amanda,

I love you. I love you because you put out music that means something. I love you because you consider your signing table to be a confessional of sorts. I love you because you are unabashedly loud and proud about things that many people don’t dare to speak of. I love you because you genuinely want to know how we are doing, and celebrating holidays. I also love how you crowdsourced things to help illustrate points in your book when you were writing it.

However, I love you most for your community. Somehow, you find followers that are truly genuine, and who want to connect with each other. We connect over one or two topics, and then we add each other as friends on Facebook. We read each other’s more private status updates, and we frequently comment on them more than friends within our immediate communities. We send each other gifts around the holidays, even if we have never corresponded before. We buy each other’s art, which tells them that we see them, and that they are real. We donate to people’s funds to keep roofs over heads. We stay at each other’s houses, and celebrate very human things together.

Or, we post to be seen like I did tonight. I posted in one of the AFP groups to whine about not having any meat or veggies in the house until Friday. I described the kinds of protein that I had left in the house as evidence that I would not starve. I just wanted to be seen, because it’s something that we never see people struggle with in public, and it sucks to struggle with it behind closed doors in private alone.

A woman who I have never seriously talked to until the beginning of this month asked me if I was close to a Safeway, and I told her, “Yes, I’m close. I can survive with what I have until we get paid though too. It’s just a lot of beans and rice.”

I didn’t even have enough time to beg her not to do anything out of embarrassment before she told me “too late. Check your email.” She had sent me a $25 gift card saying, “A girl has got to eat more than just beans. I mean seriously.“

I was able to buy 2.4 pounds of chicken, mixed salad greens, a block of cheese, 10 pounds of potatoes, tortillas, an onion, and two boxes of 79 cent mac and cheese. More than enough to complete meals that I already had most of the of the ingredients for until Friday. I took the doughnut, (even if was offered to me like Jason Webley offers his CDs when he’s given money when he’s busking.)

Tonight is the first night I have been full in a few days. Tomorrow, I won’t have to eat a bowl of refried beans by itself for lunch like I did today. On a day such as this with a major election, a day of collective anxiety, a wonderful woman gave me money to buy groceries. No matter what happens, life will go on. Our special community will still exist, and for now that is enough for me.

Thank you Amanda, for creating and encouraging a community such as this. Thank you for being uniquely you. And when people ask you about crowdfunding, you can point them to this blog post. We crowdfund to support you, because we love the ideas that you foster, and the community that has been created because of it.

All my love.

4

Lilacs

The most important symbol in Night Watch is the lilac blossom. It starts off the story and recurs throughout it.

In Victorian Flower Language lilac is listed under both “young/first love” and “youthful innocence”. What could be more appropriate than “youthful innocence” for this book?

The Glorious 25th of May destroys the youthful innocence of Young Sam and his fellows. The stars are gone from his eyes by the end of this book. All of this happens under the saddened eyes of the older Sam Vimes. He looks at his younger self across 30 years with experience and maybe a bit wistfully about how innocent he was in his youth.

At first I thought that “young love” does not fit Night Watch, but wait. Wait. You will not convince me that the Watch is not Vimes’s first love. He loves that job and Ankh-Morpork in a way that he never loved a person until he met Lady Sybil.

Night Watch is about Vimes’s past and how he grows up and how the 25th of May changes the course of his life. He is young and innocent and loves his mother and life and would probably have ended up another Colon or Snouty, but then the revolution comes and we see the Vimes heart and grit emerge. He was never the same man after Cable Street. He fought twice under the lilac. He lost friends under the lilac. His son was born under the lilac.

His memories are locked up in the lilac, but so is the theme of the book. So sneaky, Pterry.

All the little angels rise up high.

Last year’s post.

3

OTP Appreciation Day’s:

  • Malec | Magnus Bane & Alexander Lightwood

“Still I pictured having you for fifty, sixty more years. I thought I might be ready then to let you go. But it’s you, and I realize now that I won’t be anymore ready to lose you then than I am right now. Which is not at all.”- Magnus Bane.
These two are my most favourite couple in all of the books I have ever read, when people say it’s hard to believe how popular they are as a couple, I don’t see why. They are brilliant apart and even more spectacular together, they may be completely different, but those differences tie them together. I honestly don’t think Magnus has ever loved anybody like he does Alec, not even his first girlfriend. Nor do I think that himself or Alec will ever love anyone the same again. Despite the arguments, the break ups, the make ups and the long kisses; I honestly don’t think there is a better couple. They are the definition of what people should strive for in a relationship, and it isn’t sugar coated. They get jealous, they fight, they love, they sacrifice, they comprimise and they forgive. They are a real couple.
"I’ll get old and I’ll die. But I promise you I won’t leave you until then. It’s the only promise I can make. Even if it were just days, I would want to spend them all with you.”- Alec Lightwood.
Even then I don’t think he will ever leave him, he will watch over Magnus and wait till he chooses to cross over. So they can meet again.

anonymous asked:

I might be delusional [glares at last anon] but I feel like most of the people rooting for a s4/movie are Hannigram shippers, or at least people that aren't anti-Hannigram and/or enjoy their interactions. Part of me can't believe that Bryan and Co. would alienate such a huge part of their fanbase by doing away with Will for Clarice. Plus, show!Hannibal is WAY more invested in Will than book/movie!Hannibal was w/ Clarice, imo. I just don't see him getting over Will and moving on in this universe.

I don’t think Hannibal would get over Will very easily either. I mean, we’ve seen repeatedly Hannibal’s reaction to losing Will in different situations. 

When Hannibal thought Tobias killed Will, Hannibal was faced with genuine feelings and realizations of oh boy I actually care for that man more than I thought and went on to release his inner murderator with a little more rage than he was prepared to have. (should we say, passion?) And the aftermath? Where Will ends up being alive? Hannibal reacts with genuine vulnerability. His future-boyfriend is alive and he’s never felt this sort of relief wash over him in his life.

When Will was imprisoned for longer than Hannibal had planned, Hannibal was decidedly depressed about it and looked at Will with the the kind of pleading a sad puppy does after eating their owner’s favorite shoe and really just wants him to love him again.

When Hannibal guts Will? This attempt at scrubbing the slate clean, leaving it all, an attempted goodbye? Hannibal is crying. He’s crying and he cradles Will to him and his plan has backfired to all hell and he still loves this dog-nerd.

Mason about to take Will’s face. His face. His beautiful Will face. Hannibal goes on what will be known as a protective rampage because no pig like Mason gets to touch a single damn hair on Will’s head. Fuck that noise. And then he carries his bride boyfriend murder-buddy love of his life through the freezing snow and puts him to bed like the best kind of husband ever. And of course Will being Will has to make things difficult and reject Hannibal while looking like the coziest and fluffiest puppy ever, making Hannibal look like his heart has literally been ripped in two.

Then we have Hannibal waiting for three goddamn years, having to deal with his ex-girlfriend and Chilton. Hell, in other words.

And when Dolarhyde is supposedly dead? And Will has no reason to keep coming to see Hannibal? Hannibal doesn’t even bother trying to hide how vulnerable he is, how much he wants Will to think of him after this.

Hannibal without Will is a sad cannibal.

A critical examination of “Endgame” (1x12)

or “Why I find the Book 1 finale very disappointing”

There are many people who love the finale of Book 1. I’ve read a lot more praise for it than I’ve read criticism. I understand why people love it. There are a number of awesome scenes in this episode. I, however, don’t like it very much. In fact, it’s one of my least favorite episodes.

I want to be clear that I’m not trying to convince others to hate on it. I am simply laying it out here why I find “Endgame” so disappointing.

I thought it would be easy to write this post. After all, it’s just one episode, and I already knew which elements really irked me. However, I wanted to try to understand what was going on, and through making that effort, it only made me more frustrated with the episode.

I am not going to lament on the lost potential of the Equalist plot, express disappointment that Amon is a waterbender, or make suggestions on how certain issues could have been better served if they carried over into Book 2. My criticisms focus mostly on “Endgame” itself and how it works as the finale of Book 1.

This is a very long post – a much longer post than I ever expected to compose. I walk you through the entire episode. It’s not that I hate every minute of “Endgame” that I do this. I do it to help keep things in context.

Keep reading

Cursed child

I’m one of the lucky few who got first screening preview tickets.

I’m not posting spoilers because I have too much respect for JK Rowling and how immensely she has contributed to my life.

But wow. You guys need to CHILL. There seems to be no more than a couple of people posting spoilers, and, of course, tumblr is naturally latching on to the negativity.

It’s like reading half a book and complaining about the plot. WAIT. I loved it. And I’ve read an obscene amount of fan fic and watch a lot of theatre. I love these characters more than most of my family/friends. No gross injustice has been done.

In terms of specifics - the Harry comment everyone is freaking out about was said in the heat of an argument, in response to Albus very purposefully hurting Harry. You could immediately see Harry’s horror at having said it.

The logistics of the plot are a bit eh. I mean it counteracts PoA canon at this point which bothers me but other than that it’s absolutely riveting.

The staging is spectacular. The acting is spectacular. And despite what people are saying, the characterisation is spectacular. (Except maybe Ron, I’m waiting though).

So take a step back and have a breath to all those who are flaming away based on a set of bullet points from one person.

I have like no followers so not sure whether this will get out there, but I really hope it does, because the amount of negativity is gut wrenching, considering it so far has been a beautiful experience. Everyone around me agreed and we all came out floating.

(Some of) Why I Love Pathfinder

I think most people already get the escapism involved in Roleplaying.  It’s basically an interactive book with more options and freedom than a video game, since the story evolves with you.  People cite escapism and whatnot all the time when they talk about Roleplaying.

But what I especially love about tabletop roleplaying is, oddly enough, the structure of it.  And not just the rules and the mechanics, which flesh out the world and create challenges.

I have an anxiety disorder.  I literally have to schedule everything when my anxiety gets to be too much.  And I’m a college student, taking 7 classes in a single semester WHILE working AND maintaining my own apartment.  Fun doesn’t end up on my schedule often, because a trip down to the local bars or coffee shops to talk will be the first thing to be rearranged if I need to get work done.

But Pathfinder is always scheduled.  It’s consistent, it’s steady, I can rely on my group to be there.  Fridays from 5 pm onward are not a flexible time.  They are as solidified in my schedule as class.

And I love that, because roleplaying then offers up a world of possibilities in terms of adventure.  And in the real, physical world, I’m sitting in a room surrounded by friends, and for a few hours in my hectic, sleep deprived week, I am able to relax.  Because this is not the time to worry about a paper due next week, we have to stop an alien invasion, or save a city, or rescue a child.  And it’s okay to not worry.  This is my scheduled not worrying time.

If Hermione's Your Favorite...

Okay, hear me out. If people are asked who they love most in Harry Potter, majority of them say Hermione. But really, why do they love her? Is their favorite character Hermione just because she’s the female protagonist? Because that’s what I think. I’m on Wattpad, and there’s a whole lot of Hermione profiles. Like, a shit ton more than there is needed. But why? Why do they like her, aspire to be her? They’ve all watched the movies, who hasn’t? But Movie Hermione is a hell ton more different then true Book Hermione. Insecure Hermione, who doesn’t know if people will like her because she’s so bossy. With her bushy hair and buck teeth. Hermione, who is always getting on Ron and Harry to do their work, but almost always does it for them anyways. Hermione, who hates the way Viktor was trying to get her attention and disturbing the peaceful library. Hermione, who tried so hard to be smart, but sometimes broke down under pressure. Hermione, who’s horrible at riding brooms (and somewhat terrified of them). Hermione, who’s Boggart was failing and getting kicked out of Hogwarts. Hermione, who had to Obliviate her loving doting parents just so she could go keep her two best friends out of trouble. Hermione, who cared so much about house elves. Hermione, who socked Draco Malfoy like a badass bitch. If you really do love Hermione Granger, I hope it’s for all the right reasons, and not just because she’s a pretty girl. She’s got faults too.

Originally posted by la-luz-es-como-el-agua

Originally posted by the-keepers-of-the-keys

Originally posted by thatpotterblogger

Originally posted by emmathepotterhead

She had the eyes of an angel. They didn’t shine or glimmer. They were worn out but happy. She’d seen more than she’d lived. She lived but loved more. She loved everything unconditionally. Always found the best in people even when the best never existed. She’d been chewed up spit out stepped on thrown out. She always dove in and she always popped right back out. She wasn’t perfect. She was perfectly damaged. She wasn’t innocent. She was a sinner when it mattered the most. She wasn’t a goddess. But she was like one to me.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #103 // @f-o-r-g-i-v-e-n
The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation. For me, I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than I knew yesterday. And lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you.
—  Neil deGrasse Tyson 
thoughts re: the cursed child

there’s a lot of negativity going around right now about the cursed child, and while everyone is more than entitled to their own opinion, i just wanted to say that i really really enjoyed it. i thought the plot was really interesting, and although a bit fanfiction-y, very well thought out and executed. i loved the characterization of everyone, especially characters like scorpius and draco, and the character development of both harry and albus was wonderful. most of the things i’d seen people complaining about before the book actually came out was stuff that happened in the alternate realities, where all the characters and the setting were different. voldemort having a daughter didn’t seem overly cheesy to me. while i thought “voldemort day” would be laughable, it completely made sense in the alternate reality context it was set in. it was written very well, also, with a lot of witty lines that actually made me laugh out loud. while i don’t think harry would ever tell his child he didn’t want him, it was obvious that he didn’t mean it and that it was just a product of his tendency to say whatever comes to mind when he’s in a temper and was resolved wonderfully in the end. and i loved how the theme of it was consistent with the harry potter books - that, ultimately, love saves the day. that harry wins because he has those he loves around him, helping him. again, i understand that some people didn’t like it, and that’s totally fine, but i just thought i’d share the fact thought i thought it was a really good book/play/whatever it is and that i definitely don’t regret reading it

Let me tell you a little something about love.  It’s different every time.  It’s nothing more than a chemical reaction, an arrow over an equation, but the elements change.  The most fragile kind of love is [romantic].  Chemistry, again:  if you introduce a new element, you never know how stable the original bond is.  You may wind up with a new union, with something left behind.  I believe that you can fall in love many times with many different people.  However I don’t think that you can fall in love the same way twice.  One type of relationship may be steady.  Another may be fire and brimstone.  Who is to say if one of these is better than the other?  The deciding factor is how it all fits together.  Your love, I mean, and your life.
The problem is that when you’re old enough to really find a soulmate, you’re already carrying around all this extra baggage.  Like where you grew up, and how much money you make, and whether you like the country or the city.  And sometimes, most of the time, you fall really hard for someone who just can’t squeeze into the limits of your life.  The bottom line is: when your heart sets its sight on someone, it doesn’t consult with your mind.
Most people don’t marry the loves of their lives.  You marry for compatibility; for friendship.  And Jane, there’s a lot to be said for that.  It may  not be a kind of relationship where you can read each other’s minds, but it’s comfortable, like a familiar warm spot on your favorite chair.  That’s just another kind of love, one that doesn’t burn itself out, one that lasts in the real world.
—  Songs of the Humpback Whale, Jodi Picoult
On Digital Books and Piracy

When I started releasing my first book as a serial novel, one of the questions I was asked the most was my opinion on my piracy. My best and most elegant answer was:

“Please don’t?”

I’ve recently stumbled across this quote by Neil Gaiman on the matter, and it is both more elegant and more best than my own efforts:

“We don’t normally find the people we love most by buying them. We encounter them, we discover that we love them, which is why I decided early on I was never going to go to war [on piracy], I was just going to encourage, I was going to go for word of mouth.”

more

Indiana Comic Con

Cosplayer; heaven kiko

Cosplaying; Wonder Woman

I don’t let anyone or anything stop me from cosplaying! I have more confidence in myself than most people would. I love Wonder Woman and I feel as though she is an inspiration to my life. I promote self love of any size, race, gender, or ability. 

I’ll see you all at conventions! Have fun!

I look at all the blogs I follow and realize, wow, 300 is nothing to most people, but I LOVE YOU ALL AND IMMA CELEBRATE IT ANYWAY! (plus look at this awesome banner by code-name-you and tell me I shouldn’t) Also I’m probably doing this wrong but oh well. 

I never thought I’d have more than the 26 followers I had when I changed to a book blog.So thank you all for following and sticking with me! 

Without further ado…

PEOPLE I KNOW OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR (regardless of blog content, aka mah best friends)

bob-freaking-saget realityandwords medium-americano-black : i love you three so much you don’t even know (yes even you, allyson.)

westcoastserialkiller gloriouszion sad—and—sassy code-name-you daedalus-laptop xr5xrocks pxrty-poisonn lana-del-faye: much love to you crazy people <333

MY OTHER FAVORITE BLOGS 

amberthebooklion anitafrankie bookish-wonderland books-and-cookies books-cupcakes buttermybooks charlie-and-books cordria dladlad dragonriderscomingthrough edmundforpresident green-bee-with-lemon-tea introvertedbookworm24 just-one–more-page kingdomheartsnyctophiliac kitcatbookmad library-heaven longlivethebookqueen magic-in-every-book mickeyandcompany pollyandbooks queennovella readingbooksbymidnight readingdidyoumeanbreathing sapphireswimming sarahthebookthief seducedbybooks thatonereader the-shybooks the-world-narnia theredbookpanda thewittyromantic thewordwarrior2620 tilly-and-her-books vide-sans-ame whatlovelybooks whispersofthesilentwind youthbookreview

AND ONE MORE…

thewalkingheartsofdarkness: dude. please post something already so I don’t look like an idiot.

Rock on, beautiful people.

On Writing A Book

My second book comes out in exactly one week. I am pretty excited about this. It is difficult for me to see this as an accomplishment, although sometimes it does. It also feels like what I do: my job. I am doing my job, and most of the time, I love my job. Sometimes I want to stick my head in a freezer and scream, but: it comes and goes.

This book took less than the first one time-wise, and significantly more out of me soul-wise. You write quickly when you are the most honest, and I was honest in a way I wasn’t even honest with the people I know and love. It is easier to be honest to a piece of paper when you are a writer, and you rarely think about what this might mean till after you’ve handed it in.

 I wore myself out, which isn’t noble, but is true. I spent the weeks after completion not wanting to talk about myself. I stopped telling my friends very personal things for a little bit, because I really stopped giving a shit about my feelings and unpacking them. I spent almost 1.5 years unpacking, and that is much too long. For a while, I just wanted to talk about recipes and actors and what’s going on with everyone else. I still kind of do.

I write about my life and try to make sense of it in a larger way, which I think is because I believe many people have similar experiences and also because I need them to. I don’t know how to do anything else really well but write about the world, which makes me somewhat of a fool.

I am very nervous about this book because I love it more. I think it’s better, I think it’s more of me, and I think I will like the next book I write more than the last, forever. I am not ready for criticism, but also know that is where I receive the most growth.

I like being a writer because I don’t always like or need to see people. If you are a particularly social person, and you are a writer, I assume you are Mindy Kaling.

Writing a non-fiction book is mostly about being honest, not leaving anything out, and being able to cut paragraphs you love. You write funny and poignant things at 2am you absolutely love, and then you cut them and delete them and forget what they were. You become a machine that cuts things. You cut things and people and years and moments out of your book, and also kind of out of your life story, and it’s completely fine. To writers trying to write: write your favorite piece ever, and then set it on fire. You will see how quickly you write something else you love more.

I don’t have a lot of money. At times, my bank account is full and plush, and sometimes it isn’t. There are days I eat roasted root vegetables and polenta and wine, and there are days I can only eat bean soup.. I know that we are taught that artists don’t make any money, but if youtubers can make millions, you start to not believe this. Mostly, you should believe this. Still, I always aspire to make more and be more.

I am hard on myself, but also proud.

I love writing, but it is also a business.

I love this book, but i am also itching to get back to work.

Again, to writers trying to write: you can do it, if you just keep doing it. Don’t get too attached to weekends, money, time, or paragraphs. Listen to other people. Try to make sense of yourself.

Preorder here, here, and here.