Donghyuck is my dream bias but Jeno and Mark and Renjun and Chenle and jisung are all equally cute and talented I can’t help but love them all.
The song is so cute…how can you not love NCT DREAM? Let me cry for a minute because I’m such a proud old lady :“)
I really hope they rested well though, especially Mark and Haechan. They came back 4 times this year- January, April, June and August, and everyone else too, TWICE in 8 months, and it’s only been a little over a year since they’ve debuted! They need the rest.
When did Jisung get to be almost 6 feet tall though…
I forgot how much I love the Ultimates god fucking damnit shit fuck I love ultimate Tony “I-drink-too-much-while-having-cancer-still-trashy-calling-everyone-darling-I-love-blonds-but-Steve-high-key” Stark tbh my favorite piece of shit y'all
The moment you closed the door behind you, you felt… wrong.
Like you didn’t belong in the house anymore. As if you didn’t belong anywhere
near Tsukishima. But you were tired, so you pushed those negative feelings away
as you trudged over to the couch, pulling the throw blanket off the back of the
couch and wrapping it around yourself before you fell asleep. Your dreams were
filled with memories; Tsukishima listening to your confession; Your first awkward
date; The first time you slept over at his house; The day you told him you
loved him….. None of them were of him doing something for you.
It was only 3 hours later that you sat up quickly on the
couch, rubbing your eyes sleepily before walking back to the front door and
pulling your shoes on. You pulled your phone out of your pocket and walked out
the house, texting him and asking
where he was. You wanted to see him again. And you almost sprinted towards his
destination when your phone not a few seconds later.
You didn’t know Tsukishima was
watching you from his bedroom window, his golden eyes watching the small quirk
in your lips as you stared down at your phone. He frowned deeply and drew his
blinds closed before crawling back into bed, knowing he had really messed up if
you hadn’t even come to check on him before leaving. Did you even want to mend
the wounds he felt he caused in your heart? Did you even want to talk to him?
…. Did you still love him after being wooed by that Seijoh third year last night?
You panted loudly from the long walk from Tsukishima’s house
to the doors in front of you, sliding them open and apologizing for the
intrusion when a tall boy with light pink hair turned to see you in the
doorway. “I’m sorry.” You apologized again, blushing a bit when the boy turned
to look at someone across the gym with a knowing smirk. When you turned to see
who he was looking at, you couldn’t help but blush deeper at the sight of
Matsukawa looking at you with surprise. He hadn’t expected you to come all the
way to the Seijoh gym once he’d told you where he was.
“_____? What are you doing here?” Matsukawa asked as he
walked over to you, pushing the pink haired boy’s interested shit eating
smiling face out of the way and out of his business. “Did you talk to that
middle blocker of yours?” He asked curiously, waving off his friend as he
walked out of the gym with you.
“No…. He wasn’t awake when I left…” You lied. You’d
chickened out. Just the idea of seeing Tsukishima and having him ask about your
whereabouts…. You internally snorted, who were you kidding? Tsukishima didn’t
care. He hadn’t wanted you around, and you think he was worried about where you
were? You frowned deeply and shook your head to yourself, there was no way in
hell that he would have even thought about you after such a terrible argument.
He probably fell asleep without a care in the world once you’d left the house.
But how were you to know that he had worried about you? Had
gone out to search for you? To bring you home.
Matsukawa didn’t believe you for a second, knowing from how
you’d been the night before that you hadn’t checked. You hadn’t even tried. He
sighed and rubbed the back of his head as he started to walk ahead of you,
turning his head to look at you out of the corner of his eye when you called
his name with confusion, “Hmm? Come on, let’s go talk to him then. Can’t have
you without a place to stay, right? I’ll help you move your stuff.” He
explained with a shrug, smiling to himself as you caught up quickly.
You were terrified. Shaking as you walked beside Matsukawa
all the way back to Tsukishima’s house, feeling a déjà vu wash over you. Only
this time, you weren’t as determined to put an end to what had started to
unfurl. “I….” You started off, seeing Matsukawa turn his head to watch you
struggle to look for what you wanted to say, “I…. I don’t want to hurt him…”
You whispered, gulping loudly when Tsukishima’s house came into view as you
turned down his road. “I love him…. I love him so much, and I don’t want to
hurt him.” Your lip trembled, your eyebrows furrowing, “But I have to put a
stop before one of us breaks…” You took a deep breath, ignoring how shaky it
sounded, trying your hardest to steel your nerves as you got to Tsukishima’s
“Hey…” Matsukawa’s voice called gently, making you look over
at him with confusion. He smiled at you gently before nodding, “I’m right
here.” He assured, letting you know that you didn’t have to work through this
alone. He was there to lend you a shoulder to cry on like the night before or
an ear to listen like you’d been using this whole time.
His words were so sincere, so genuine that you were almost
brought to tears. You hadn’t heard a kindness like that in so long. You
sniffled and nodded to him, wiping at your eyes quickly in case some tears had
escaped your notice before turning and opening the front door, stepping in with
Matsukawa right behind you.
You wished you had taken a little longer to get there. Or
taken a little longer to get to Seijoh earlier. Something to get a different
view than what you had as you opened the door.
Tsukishima had just come down the stairs, which were
directly behind the front door. He was standing there, waiting, when you opened
the door to his house, a irkingly familiar boy behind you. Tsukishima stared at
you both with wide eyes, having not expected you to come back to flaunt your
new toy so soon after you’d left that morning. But he held his tongue, keeping
his eyes on you and not the intruder you’d brought with you, “Good morning,
______. I see you already got a head start in the day.” Tsukishima stated
simply, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched you take off your shoes
and step further inside. He didn’t even acknowledge your friend as you stepped
forward and wrapped your shaky arms around Tsukishima in an awkward hug before
“I have….” You murmured quietly, feeling yourself shrink
under his gaze. You wanted to badly to run and hide behind Matsukawa before
Tsukishima could turn nasty and say some cruel things to you. But you held your
ground. “Kei…. I feel that…. After our argument, last night…. That we need
time.” You whispered, looking down at your hands clasped in front of you.
“We’re fighting too often, Kei…. And I don’t want us to burn up in flames…. I
don’t want to hurt you.” You whispered, closing your eyes tightly as you took a
deep breath. “So, that’s why…. I’m going to be leaving. I brought Issei with me
to help me get some of my things out of your house.” You explained.
“You’re going to be going to his place then?” Tsukishima
couldn’t help but suddenly ask, watching your face flush with embarrassment,
“Hmmm, had this always been the plan?” He pondered loudly, his golden eyes
watching as you shook your head quickly.
This wasn’t going to end if you didn’t shut down his bitter
words now. “No! That’s not it at all, Kei! Shut up and listen to me for once,
will you?” You looked up at him with fire in your eyes, making the tall blond
step back a bit in surprise. “I love you, Kei. No matter how much you hurt me
with teases and your mean words or observations. No matter how many times I’ve
held back my tears because of something you’ve said. I have loved you with all
my heart ever since I first met you.” You stated seriously, your tone sharp but
genuine. You weren’t going to let him beat you down with his words right now.
“I’m moving my things out of your house and I’m moving into Yachi’s mom’s
apartment until my parents get back from out of town and my house is done being
renovated.” You finished, your eyes watching him like a hawk for any signs of
understanding. His expression was blank though. He gave nothing away. You
didn’t expect him to, though, you knew he didn’t care. If he wanted to push you
away so damn hard, you’d go away without a fight. With that in mind, you let out
a deep sigh, “So please… Do not stand in my way as I take my things and go.”
You whispered as you walked past him up the stairs and into his room to get
Tsukishima wasted no time as he stood slightly above
Matsukawa due to the step from the front door to the interior of his house,
“What’s an old man like you doing flirting with a first year? How sad. You
couldn’t find some hole in the wall to entertain yourself with?” Tsukishima
smirked down at Matsukawa, his eyebrows furrowing upward and his eyes showing
just how bitter he was deep down. Bitter that Matsukawa had been there to
comfort you and not him. Why couldn’t he have gone after you sooner? Maybe you
wouldn’t be leaving him if he had.
But Matsukawa wasn’t one to back down from a challenge. He
let his sleepy eyes stare up at the barely taller than him blond, knowing he
was about the same height if he stepped up on the same level. But he stayed
lower. Stayed just below the blonds current eyelevel as he let a lazy smirk tug
at his lips, “Maybe this old man wouldn’t have had a chance if the
inexperienced boy had known what he was doing.” He stated easily. If Tsukishima
wanted a pissing contest, he’d found his match in Matsukawa. “_____ came to me
this morning, kid. Didn’t even check up on you.” Matsukawa pointed out, raising
a thick eyebrow at the blond who looked winded at the reminder, “Makes me
wonder just how badly you must have hurt her to make her run into the arms of
such an old man, as you say I am.”
The blond middle blocker looked away from the sleepy third
year, biting his bottom lip roughly and feeling his heart crumble bit by bit in
his heart at Matsukawa’s words. He knew he was right. But that didn’t mean he
had to like it. “She left me…. She’ll leave you, too.” Tsukishima muttered, his
threat as sharp as his words.
“She’s not the reason she left you.” Matusakwa answered back
almost immediately, making Tsukishima send a quick glare at him just as you
were coming down the stairs with your backpack full of clothing and memories.
Matsukawa’s sleepy eyes watched you, his lazy smirk turning into a calming
smile, “Got everything?” He asked evenly as he reached out and took the
backpack from you gently, slinging it over his shoulder and watching you put
your shoes back on.
You nodded before standing up next to him, feeling a
familiar gaze bore into the side of your face. “Um…. Issei….” You whispered,
feeling your face heat a bit every time you called him by his first name, “Do
you think you could…. Give me and Kei a few minutes?” You asked, looking up at
his sweet smile, his drowsy eyes looking down at you with understanding; You
briefly wondered how sleepy his eyes really looked when he was first waking up,
but quickly shook that thought out of your head. Now was definitely not the time for that.
Matsukawa nodded, “I’ll be outside.” He assured as he turned
and walked out the door, closing it softly behind him.
Now was the time. You could already feel your tears brimming
as you turned to face Tsukishima, seeing that he wasn’t looking at you but at
his closed front door with a scowl on his face. “Kei.” You called quietly,
feeling your heart stop when his golden eyes slowly met yours, “Don’t be mad at
him…. He hasn’t done anything to deserve your mean face.” You whispered,
staring up at him pleadingly, “He’s been very kind and understanding… and it’s
not about him, anyway… This is about us….” You reminded quietly. You could see
he wanted to say something biting back, but you didn’t let him, “Kei, I love
you. I love you so much, and I only want what’s best for you. But I can’t just
stand by and let you bully me into submission. I know, Kei. I know you’re not
overly emotional, and I know you feel things that you think is ‘pathetic’ and ‘weak’
to share with those involved, but it’s not….” You took a shaky inhale before
staring down at your feet, “I want you to know that this was my idea to leave.
No one else’s. There’s never been anyone else but you, Kei.”
It was silent for a few minutes, he was letting you get a
hold of your emotions before he answered. Tsukishima took a deep breath before
letting his shoulders slack and nodding a bit, “I think… I think it’s a good
idea…. For you to leave, I mean.” He muttered, not meeting your eyes when you
looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows, “I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” He
mumbled before turning so you were staring at the side of his face. “Please be
careful.” He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye before nodding and
walking into the living room without another word. That was your dismissal from
him. The conversation was over and you knew he wanted you out of his house.
The tears fell freely now, your heart lying in shattered
pieces at your feet. But there wasn’t time for you to pick it up and put it all
together. Before Tsukishima could come back and actually tell you that you
could leave now, you turned and left his house, putting your key in his mailbox
before walking over to Matsukawa, who was standing on the sidewalk in front of
the house. You didn’t say anything and let him wrap an arm around your back so
his palm rested on your shoulder and led you down the road quietly. Tsukishima’s
eyes were on you, watching you through his living room window as you passed his
house, seeing the tears streaming down your face and feeling his own heart
completely turning black and cold once the heat of your presence was completely
gone from his home. How had it come to this, he thought, how had he messed up
so completely that you had literally gone into the arms of another? Maybe this
was a wakeup call for him to check his attitude. Maybe it was a sign that he
didn’t deserve to be with anyone ever. Maybe he was meant to be alone to simmer
in his bitterness and biting remarks. Maybe Matsukawa would treat you better
than he ever could.
This wasn’t a goodbye, though, he reminded
himself. You may have left him, but you had said you still loved him. This wasn’t
the end. He clenched his hands into fists and nodded to himself. He’d have to
put a lot of effort into bringing you back to him, but you were worth it. You
were worth everything he could give.