i love aunt

Goodf*#king-night Tumblr!

I really do hate ship wars (not shipping, but ship WARS) and tag police with the passion of 10,000 burning suns. How long has it been since I mentioned ship wars? I really fucking hate ship wars and am chomping at the bit to roast anyone who tries to bring in my house.

I won’t be logging in over here until I’ve finished my projects on @otsucottage. To that end, I’m closing all the ask boxes until then (Sunday afternoons) to avoid bullshittery & distraction. As always, you’re welcome to comment on posts. I can and will respond with @new-xkit-extension magic.

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ASOUE Instagram Aesthetics | Josephine Anwhistle + Montgomery Montgomery 

  • A Series of Unfortunate Events: Goodness dolly! Good God! Mary and Joseph! Zeus and Hera! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her - grab her! Move closer - run away! Kill the snake - leave it alone! Give it some food - don't let it bite her! It's bitten her! It bited her! Come on get moving call an ambulance! Call a scientist! Call my wife! This is ghastly! This is phantasmagorical!
  • Also A Series of Unfortunate Events: It's a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It's like climbing the stairs to your room in the dark, thinking that there is one more stair than there is. And your foot falls through the air, and there is a sickly feeling of dark surprise.

anonymous asked:

Bucky, I'm guessing you fly a lot to missions and stuff and I have a 23 hour flight to New Zealand coming up. Any advice on how to not die of boredom?

1. sleep. 

2. sleep

3. read a book

4. read the briefing you were supplied with before takeoff, or you might ACCIDENTALLY CAPTURE THE WRONG BASE CLINT

5. bother the people sitting near you by singing dirty lyrics to songs they know and love, thereby ruining them forever

6. sleep

7. no matter how bored you get, DO NOT JUMP OUT OF THE PLANE

texts  from  last  night  :  drunk me  edition. ( slightly nsfw at times ? )

[ text ] hello it’s me drunk me. the ghost of drunkmas past
[ text ] i love being white girl wasted
[ text ] that’s when you know you’re wastypants
[ text ] fuzzy is the best, sloppy is ugly
[ text ] if i wasn’t wearing a sweater i’d send you a bra selfie
[ text ] i’m drunk peeing
[ text ] CUTTHROAT KITCHEN THOOOOOOOOO
[ text ] sabotage me
[ text ]  things are happening, i’m not sure what 
[ text ] who am i
[ text ] gbbo would never, mary berry would NEVER
[ text ] you win honor who wants money
[ text ] i want the money
[ text ] why am i sloppy
[ text ] i’m pooping or peeing we’re not sure yet
[ text ] i’m still on the toilet
[ text ] drunk me is a mess of knowledge
[ text ] wow i love drunk me
[ text ] drunk me: factchecking
[ text ] lemme send you a hoe selfie
[ text ] meanwhile i keep sending sloppy hoe selfies
[ text ] i’m changing into my batman pjs
[ text ] this will be my downfall i hate myself me and my pink panther print panties
[ text ] leak this pic
[ text ] don’t trust me i’m drunk me
[ text ] my face feels funny
[ text ] see i can type i am in control
[ text ] i’ve been sending drunk snaps in my defense
[ text ] i’m like one step away from dabbing
[ text ] drunk me: laughs in hidden.jpg
[ text ] i drunk snapped ____ and ____ while singing beyoncé
[ text ] i’ll look at this tomorrow and cringe
[ text ] i am sober and in control of the situation
[ text ] i sent a ass selfie to ____ captioned: EAT THIS BEN AFFLECK
[ text ] HE HAS BATMAN ASS
[ text ] i don’t feel more sober at all
[ text ] i should be asleep but my drunk thirsty ass is like: cute girl
[ text ] i am just a simple farmer
[ text ] do the sleepo
[ text ] i’m drunk talking to a cute girl
[ text ] drunk me is a hoe a THIRSTY hoe
[ text ] i won’t remember this in the morning
[ text ] i’m not sloppy drunk i’m soft drunk, i call it 4 shots and a glass of champagne
[ text ] drunk me: time to thirst message all my friends / flings / exes
[ text ] idk what he’s saying but i’m like raw me daddy
[ text ] don’t kinkshame me
[ text ] i love my aunt she’s trying to get me more drunk
[ text ] i have like 70% awareness of what’s going on around me right now 
[ text ] i might dab again on snapchat who knows 

Veronica Comforting You Would Include...

So, this is for @emmcfrxst! Hope you feel better, Auntie Pasc!! (Also, which type of ice cream do you want me to bring??)

Originally posted by hermiunes


  • When Ronnie finds you crying in the bathroom at school she just sort of loses it
  • Like “OMG, Sweetie are you alright!?” (Cause Ronnie says Sweetie, and I will take that to my grave)
  • But immediately after she mentally beats herself up
  • Because “No, they’re crying! WHY WOULD YOU ASK IF THEY’RE OKAY??”
  • She just feels completely powerless, and just pulls you in for a hug
  • She rubs your back and starts to whisper sweet words about how you’re amazing and how she loves you very much
  • She stays hugging you as long as you are crying for
  • And afterwards she helps you wash your face
  • And she peppers kisses all over 
  • Repeatedly telling you that she loves you and that she is so lucky to have you as a gf
  • When you feel ready to leave the bathroom, she holds your hand and walks out with you
  • She takes you home because she doesn’t want you to feel overwhelmed by people
  • She stays with you all day cuddling with you
  • And binge watching “Friends” and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”
  • And watching cheesy 80′s movies
  • And making sure you’re curled up in 5 million blankets
  • Basically waiting on you hand and foot
  • Until you calm down enough to tell her what happened
  • When you do, she’s very attentive and hugs you even tighter 
  • She kisses the top of your head a lot
  • The next day she gives you a bouquet of red roses (Cause all the homo)
  • And again has magnolia cupcakes flown in from NY
  • And afterwards she takes you around Riverdale
  • She buys you your favorite milkshake at Pop’s
  • And just showers you with gifts and love
  • And she won’t stop until you tell her that you are 1000% better
  • You have to force her to stop with everything cause, “Ronnie, I don’t need this!!”
  • When you do stop her she gets all pouty
  • And you laugh because she’s so cute
  • And her face lights up when you laugh because she is so completely and utterly in love with you
  •  Whenever she finds you freaking out again she keeps on doing this
  • And when you ask why she does it
  • (Because you feel like you freak out too much and demand too much of her attention)
  • She reminds you that she is utterly in love with you and would do anything for you