i love all u guys for giving a shit on the things i post

i found this post in my drafts and have ZERO memory of writing it (thank u alcohol) so im gonna put it in my queue lol
  • ok but imagine 
  • Bitty comes out to his parents but he doesn’t tell them about Jack, thinks it’s for the best, maybe to ease his parents into things or maybe to keep the pool of People Who Know as small as possible 
  • and like yeah Ransom and Holster are super oblivious but Suzanne Bittle is not, not when it comes to her son, because she is a certified Nosy Southern Mother and she can see he’s been acting differently, happier but quieter, always on his phone and blushing when she asks about boys
  • and he talks about the team a LOT 
  • Jack’s one of his best friends and he’s just started his NHL career, so of course Bitty’s never gonna shut up about Jack
  • (Same goes for Shitty and law school. And eventually Ransom and med school. Dicky is proud of his friends and wants everyone to know. He gets that trait from Suzanne, she understands)
  • but he keeps talking about this one Boy, how sweet he is and how his smile is like a sack of puppies and how bitty’s always making this boy do things with him like baking and getting froyo and going shopping and Suzanne is like. Yes. This must be Dicky’s secret boyfriend. 
  •  the next family weekend or whatever, Suzanne demands to meet this Chowder boy who’s stolen Bitty’s heart
  • Bitty is both confused and mortified

Keep reading

jalapeno--business  asked:

So whenever I read trc, I'm always overwhelmed by this almost pathological desire to experience the same feelings of wonder and beauty and magic that you describe in the series. Yes, I understand that there is no sentient, magical forest to discover, and no sleeping king that I can search for, but I still have this urge to have similar feelings and experiences in my life. So how do you experience a similar kind of magic and wonder that you describe in your books, in everyday life?

Dear jalapeno–business,

Are you listening closely?

As an author, I travel a lot. At one point, I was on the road one day out of every three — planes, hotels, rental cars. There’s a rhythm to it, like running up a very long flight of stairs. You figure out how many stairs you can take in a jump, and how to breathe-in-breathe-out to keep from wasting your lungs, and you learn how to tell when you have to stop to rest your knees or you just won’t make it to the top. 

The airports and the planes and the people can all start to seem the same after awhile, if you’re looking at them wrong. If you let them. Anything in life can sound ordinary if that’s all you’re listening for.

Back in 2014, I was in a Texas airport. The night had that glittering senseless jitter to it that happens when you’re tired but going home, finally going home. I was early for my flight and sitting several gates away from my real gate, listening to music. A young man sat down two seats away. Ordinarily, tired and occupied with the peculiar every-day magic of the music in my headphones, I wouldn’t have noticed him, but a moment later, a phone rang. He asked if it was mine; it wasn’t. Someone had forgotten it on the seat between us. 

We both looked at it.

It rang again for someone who didn’t know to pick up, and then he took it away to one of the United desks for them to give it to someone who would listen. He didn’t return.

Two hours later, I went to my real gate to board. Full flight. Everyone was checking and double-checking their seat assignments as they defended their right to aisles and windows. When my seatmate settled himself next to me, I looked up, and it was the guy from the waiting area. He had a tilt to his chin that telegraphed that he thought he was hot shit and a grin that said he recognized me. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

We laughed ruefully and applied our headphones — we both knew the routine of polite air travel. But the agreeable tingle of the coincidence still ate at me, and I could tell it ate at him, too, because after a few moments, he offered me a truffle from his bag. I told him I couldn’t take it because of my allergies, but the headphones came off. We started to talk.

And he was a big talker. He was cocky. A surgical resident. He told me how he loved the hell out of taking internal organs out of people. He described how he listened to sixty-minute epic soundtracks in his ear buds while he removed appendixes and gallbladders, kidneys and stones. He told me of watching Dateline by himself at the end of seventy and eighty hour work weeks, and he told me about his Hyundai, which I made fun of. Confidentially, he whispered to me about a surgeon he knew who had the goal of removing every gallbladder in Texas. Two hours into the flight, the conversation tilted toward spirituality. He’s hot shit, he confessed, and works hard, but he sometimes wonders if he’s allowed to want to be successful, or if that makes him a bad person. Because he’s working a lot of hours in a week, and he’s tired, but he’s pretty sure that he’s hot shit, but maybe that’s not allowed.

I was watching him fumble his fingers over each other. He was scratching a hole in his own palm.

And all at once there was a phone in my head, and it was ringing just for me. 

“One of your parents has obsessive-compulsive disorder,” I told him. “Maybe both.”

The shimmering grin slipped. “How did you know? How could you know that?” 

I asked him if he was getting treatment for it.

He said, “No, no, I’m over it. How could you know that?”

Because in a foggy way, that phone was still ringing between us, and now, I recognized the number.

I said, “Don’t kill yourself.”

He replied, “No way,” and then he started to cry. 

The shit-eating grin had vanished. He told me how he’d made up his mind that he didn’t want to make it to 35. He’d researched all the ways to make sure he didn’t. Over the next hour, I told him about my OCD, and how I thought his uncertainty over wanting to be successful but also wanting to be humble was a function of his OCD’s spiritual obsession. That he wasn’t over OCD, that you never were, but that his agony didn’t have to be a real thing. He could be both humble and successful. It wasn’t against the rules of goodness to be proud of what you’d done, as long as you were doing things for the right reasons. I told him how once I bought a race car, but I’d given it away to someone who could use the money, because I realized I was only racing to look sexy in a car, and not because it was really making me happy. 

I told him he didn’t have to worry about looking sexy in a Hyundai, though, and he replied that he would look sexy in anything, and then he cried a little more. 

Everyone else in the plane was asleep, but we were wide awake.

When we got off the plane in Virginia, the surgical resident gave me an awkward side-hug, and he wiped his face. Then he dug in his bag for the wrapper from his truffle. As the other travelers shuffled past us sleepily, he pressed it into my hand. He didn’t want to give me his name, he said, but he wanted something for me to remember so that when we ran into each other again in 15 years, I’d know who he was.

After we’d parted ways, I turned my phone off airplane mode, and a text came in that had been sent while I was in the air. It was from the person I’d given the race car to. I hadn’t heard from him in nearly six months. The text said only: thank u maggie i have such a hppy life bc of u

Magic.

You have to be listening closely. Phones are ringing all over the world, and sometimes they look like magical forests, and sometimes they look like race cars, and sometimes they look like surgical residents.

urs,

Stiefvater

anonymous asked:

What do you think about an “i picked up your bag at the airport but i can’t find your number so i’m about to embark on the largest scavenger hunt of all time by using your strange belongings to track you down” au with charmer or nurseydex or zimbits or something??

Well, I don’t know if you expected three mini fics, and I didn’t fully follow the prompt, but here we are.

1. Charmer

Look, Chris knew it was dumb. He knew that everyone on earth had a plain black suitcase, he knew he should have double-checked the luggage tag, he knew it was important to be sure abut these things. But knowing what he should have done couldn’t help him when he finally got his suitcase home and opened it up to find mostly yoga pants and sundresses. 

Fuck.

He zipped the bag back up and flipped open the luggage tag. It was cute, pink with some metallic lettering saying “I’m outta here!” in a handwritten font. Chris blamed jetlag and the redeye flight for making him miss the fact that it wasn’t his Sharks tag. He blamed the bag’s owner for not filling out any of the information on the tag.

Dammit.

Well, sorry random girl, he thought. He opened the suitcase up again to try to see if he could find anything that would give him a clue as to who the suitcase owner was. He moved a makeup bag aside, and hit gold immediately. Well, Samwell red. A Women’s Volleyball tshirt– mystery suitcase girl had to be on the volleyball team.

“Hey Ransom!” he yelled. “You’re facebook friends with all the volleyball team right?”

“He’s friends with everyone on campus!” Holster yelled back.

“Ask their captain if anyone flew in from the Bay Area and lost their luggage!”

_X_

“Is Justin here? My captain said he’s got my suitcase.” Chris overheard her at the door. He grabbed the bag and started hauling it downstairs. As he set it down at the bottom and caught sight of the girl in the doorway, he froze. She was pretty. Like, really pretty. 

“Um, hi,” he said.

“So you’re Justin? Oh my god, I’m so glad it wasn’t some total rando who got my bag.” 

“I’m actually Chris, Justin was just the one who was friends with your captain. Um, I’m sorry, but I kind of had to look through your stuff? Your luggage tag wasn’t filled out.” The girl laughed.

“Yours wasn’t either! Me and my teammates were like one minute away from googling the record holder for most San Jose Sharks merch, but it totally makes sense that you’re on the hockey team.” 

“Since we both forgot to write our numbers down, maybe we should do that now?” Chris suggested. The girl grinned, grabbed his phone out of his hand, and opened up a new contact. She punched in a number, and when she handed it back he saw a text of several random emojis addressed to the new contact of “Caitlin Farmer” with a girl farmer emoji and a volleyball emoji.

“Text me sometime, and maybe we can get dinner?” she said, and she was gone with her suitcase. 

Chris collapsed on the couch, a dreamy look in his eyes.

“Chowder? You get your suitcase back?” Bitty called out from the kitchen.

“Yeah! and I think I’m in love now!”

2. Nurseydex

“Cheryl, I’m telling you, I had a ton of inspiration on the plane and I wrote some great stuff for act three. No. No, it wasn’t just me thinking it’s great because I popped some melatonin and got really sleepy. It’s like, legit. Yeah, I’ll send it over as soon as I get home and–”

Derek slammed into something. If he’d been holding his phone in his hand (bluetooth is a blessing when you drop stuff easily) it would have launched across the airport. As it was, his post-flight latte was soaking through the nice white shirt of the handsome stranger in front of him.

“Shit,” the stranger said, looking down to survey the damage.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have trusted myself to make a phone call and not be clumsy after such a long flight,” Derek said. He set his briefcase down and pulled a wad of napkins out of the outside pocket. The guy took a deep breath, going from murderous to calm in a few seconds. 

“I wasn’t looking where I was going either, it’s not your fault,” the guy said, setting down his own briefcase and accepting the napkins. He blotted at his shirt.

“Let me pay for the dry cleaning. Or a replacement,” Derek offered. The man shook his head.

“It’s fine, it probably needed to go to the cleaners anyways.” He checked his watch. “If I run, I can probably get a new one before my meeting.” He wadded the napkins into one big ball, picked up his briefcase, and walked towards the exit with a terse nod. Derek, feeling terrible about the whole thing, picked up his own briefcase and walked to baggage claim.

By the time he was reunited with his home office, a cozy bookshelf-lined room in his brownstone, he had almost forgotten about the coffee incident. He was focused on sending the manuscript to Cheryl. Unfortunately, that was going to be difficult, considering he pulled a PC laptop out of the bag instead of his Mac.

Derek stared at the computer for a full minute. He almost couldn’t believe that this was happening to him. Hesitantly, he opened the laptop. On one side of the keyboard there was a weird thing that a few seconds of phone googling told him was a fingerprint scanner. Shit. He hit the space bar experimentally. Something flashed on the screen, and then was replaced with just a plain black screen with red text: ACCESS DENIED

Derek swore. He started to look through the rest of what was in the briefcase, but was disappointed to find it empty except for the laptop’s charger, three packs of gum, and receipts from a lobster shack in Maine. Shit. Nothing in here would tell him anything about the redhead he’d launched a latte at. 

He closed the laptop dejectedly, ignored his editor’s text messages, and went into the kitchen to make himself lunch and feel sorry for himself. This was the universe punishing him for covering a cute guy with coffee. If he had just kept his focus and waited to call his editor later, he could have sent the draft along and saved it and not be desperately trying to remember his inspiration.

Just as the self-pity spiral was really taking off, the doorbell rang. Derek sighed, put down his tea, and walked to the door. When he opened it, it wasn’t Girl Scouts or Jehovah’s Witnesses, but the guy from the airport.

“Cancel whatever you’re doing today, I need to teach you the most basic principles of digital security,” the guy said, pushing past Derek into the dining room. He shoved a stack of papers onto a chair and pulled Derek’s laptop out.

“I’m Will, by the way, I make software that’s hopefully a step ahead of viruses.”

“Is the draft still there?”

“The draft of what?” The guy looked confused.

“My third act breakthrough. I’m a novelist, I need to get it to my editor and I couldn’t remember if I saved it,” Derek explained.

“You know you can set up an auto-save every five minutes or so, right?” Will asked.

“This might be surprising to you, but I’ve never had a cute guy storm into my house and yell at me about computers before.” Will looked up from Derek’s computer, blushing.

“I haven’t had a cute guy dump a gallon of coffee all over me and steal my laptop before, either, but here we are.”

“Maybe you can yell about computers over lunch with me?”

3. Zimbits

Button downs. Tank tops. Slacks. Shorts. Three rolling pins. A pie tin. A half-emptied multipack of sharpies.

No lucky puck. No clothes in his size. No jerseys.

Jack sighed. It would just be too much to ask for anything to go well today. He picked up his phone to call someone with the Falconers, in the hope that they could talk to the airline and sort all this out. At the same time, his phone lit up with Tater’s face.

“Zimmboni! Look on twitter. Small internet baker has your suitcase!” Tater hung up before he could reply, so Jack just opened twitter instead. 

omgcheckplease: A bunch of pucks, some dirty jerseys, and a history textbook. Either I’m back in college or this isn’t my suitcase.

omgcheckplease: .@falcsofficial please tell your #1 player to DM me and come get his shit

omgcheckplease: and @falcsofficial tell him to give me my shit back. my hockey days are in the past, I need rolling pins, not a mouthguard

Jack smiled and laughed in the way a person laughs when they’re alone, just blowing more air than normal out of his nose. He looked through the twitter for a minute– the guy, Eric Bittle, was a Providence-based chef, whose latest tweets were mostly greetings to the various cities he’d been visiting on tour. Jack clicked the media tab on the account, and looked through the pictures. Bittle was cute. He wrote a reply.

zimmboni: .@omgcheckplease how do I send u a DM

omgcheckplease: .@zimmboni you don’t deserve to be verified, oh my god #verifybittle2k17

A few seconds later another notification popped up, and he tapped it to be brought to a DM window.

omgcheckplease: hey! sorry about the mixup. I can only imagine how confused you were to find all my book tour stuff.

zimmboni: Probably as confused as you were finding hockey stuff?

omgcheckplease: I wasn’t joking in my tweets, I did play hockey before I got into the whole cookbook/food show thing

zimmboni: Exactly, I did a book tour last year in the off-season :-)

omgcheckplease: oh my gosh, isn’t it the best and the worst?

zimmboni: I know. It’s great to meet people and talk about your work, but it’s exhausting.

omgcheckplease: that’s why I’m so excited to be back in Providence! at least until the next cookbook.

zimmboni: Well we should probably meet up to trade suitcases. Want to meet somewhere for dinner?

omgcheckplease: don’t trust me to learn where your house is?

zimmboni: I mean, if dinner goes well enough…

omgcheckplease: OH. okay, then, Mr. Zimmermann, it’s a date.

Jack smiled to himself, and got ready for his date.

modern soc au

inej: 

  • loves to dance !!! esp ballet but she can dance to whatever tbfh, she’s that good 
  • likes to wear caps, esp backwards. really loves bomber jackets too. 
  • has a couple, small tattoos dedicated to her saints 
  • is that one kid who loves to do parkour (both ironically and unironically) for instance is really good at it but sometimes just yells PARKOUR and steps over a rock
  • usually found eating lunch with her pals on the roof of the school 
  • is amazing at hide and seek like holy fuck ????? hid for 2 hours once and wasn’t found, came back the next day and was like “y'all losers SUCK" 
  • loves to study other people’s cultures, as well as history and is great as p.e (never has gotten a bad grade in the flexibility tests) 
  • likes to read poem books 
  • has a black cat as a pet named “saint" 
  • pronounced meme as "mehmeh” the first time she read it 
  • only has snapchat and instagram. is that kid who ALWAYS posts the sunset every day, esp from weird/high places and the comments are always “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET UP THERE" 
  • cried the most during fox and the hound 
  • always braiding nina’s hair. Knows how to do all the super advanced onces as well
  • "I don’t know, CAN YOU?" 
  •  the best one at pushing people on the swings 
  • AMAZING AT JUST DANCE WITH JESPER 
  • "sorry I ran out of fucks to give try again later maybe?" 
  • gives the nicest presents. always knows what a person wants for christmas/their birthday 
  • the one who’s really into photography and is always taking aesthetic™ pics of Nina for her social media accounts 
  • Prefers tea over coffee

wylan:

  • bullied for not being able to read (at least up until high school), so is super shy 
  • loves drawing. the artistic™ one who takes anatomy to be able to draw people better 
  • MASTER FLUTE MUSICIAN. On the school band. Jams hard af when he plays it 
  • is in gem math and AP chem with kuwei. 
  • loves sweet. addicted to blue jolly ranchers. his tongue is always blue 
  • constantly pushing up his thick rimmed glasses (even if they ain’t on, which causes him to poke his eye)
  • looooves all the superhero shows on the CW 
  • V neck sweaters. always
  • always has his trusty satchel
  • only has tumblr. has like 10k followers because of his artwork. 
  • ”‘illuminati’ ? is that a band?“ 
  • cat person even though he’s allergic to cat fur. absolutely adores inej’s cat. settles for owning a horned lizard named "shrek" 
  • secretly a huge fan of memes 
  • really gay for tom holland and ed sheeran (calls him "ginger Jesus”) 
  • gamer with jesper. they always play overwatch together, wylans better tho. a genji and Ana main 
  • cried the most during big hero six 
  • wylan, with blank eyes: “I like my coffee how I like my men” // jesper: *spits out his drink* 

matthias: 

  • sports fan obv. On the schools hockey team bc his fav is hockey. is extremely competitive when he plays it. Is constantly checking but never gets penalties (aka slamming the other players against the walls)
  • played basketball against jesper and surprisingly lost. jesper won’t let it go 
  • dog person. owns a pet pomsky (Pomeranian-husky) with nina who’s name is “bub" 
  • “long hair don’t care”draws inspiration from Harry styles 
  • really philosophical. takes all the philosophy/ethics classes available 
  • kind of sounds like Thor (thick and deep accent) 
  • a good™
  • "you’re all horrible trash”
  • “do we really have to be doing this now? I have to finish my homework" 
  • loves baking. bakes everything for the love of his life 
  • grey sweatshirts and adidas shoes 
  • wears contacts Because he hates how glasses look on him. only wears them when he’s home 
  • oblivious to all the women in love with him
  • "CAN YOU EVEN LIFT BRO? BECAUSE I SURE AS FRICK CAN” (doesn’t curse) 
  • real 👍🏻🤘🏻👌🏻life🤰🏻👼🏻🌱student📚✂️✏️athelete🏃🏼🥇🏆🥅🏒
  • has Facebook and Twitter only
  • cried the most during bambi and dumbo 
  • little spoon™ 
  • has a couple tattoos with very deep meanings

jesper: 

  • dancer with inej. dances like those ppl who look like robots ??? the ones who look like they freeze parts of their body while the others move. AMAZING at it 
  • loves jazz but also dubstep/edm and rap/r&b. Beyoncé is MOM/QUEEN. 
  • sometimes djs parties 
  • again, huge gamer with wylan. he’s a lucio and junkrat main for overwatch. loves like every video game ever 
  • loves all the marvel movies, in love with black panther (was team cap) 
  • dresses like a hipster but also sometimes a fuck boy (tank tops and shorts with a backwards cap style) 
  • favorite subject is business and debate. great negotiator 
  • cried the most during the lion king 
  • A+ cosplayer (especially his lucio cosplay) 
  • big supporter of human rights (LGBTA+, feminist, black lives matter, poc representation). Will LITERALLY get into fights over anyone who thinks otherwise. Fist fights, always supported by Kaz and Matthias. Got suspended for 3 days for breaking a kids nose who thought LGBTA+ people should **** ** ****) 
  • that one kid who has 50 fidget spinners and can do cool tricks with them. also manages to sell all of them 
  • skateboard pro™ 
  • always sends the blinking face meme, even if it’s out of context 
  • all the social medias. 
  • one tattoo only of a gun with a ‘bang’ flag coming out of it 

nina: 

  •  PROFESSIONAL👏🏻 MAKE 👏🏻 UP 👏🏻 ARTISTS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 HAS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS ON HER INSTAGRAM AND THE SAME FOR HER YOUTUBE CHANNEL 
  • Speaking of YouTube, she always does cute videos. Baking/cooking tutorial videos featuring Matthias, 'i do my boyfriends makeup’, 'my boyfriend does my makeup’, 'my boyfriend buys my makeup’, does make up tutorials obviously, challenges with her best friend inej like the 'whisper challenge’. everyone loves her and says her and Matthias are their otp 
  • loves fashion design, takes that class. 
  • loves horror movies/creepy things but also Disney 
  • great at roller skating 
  • always wins the best dressed awards ad school 
  • also huge fan of ed sheeran. loves little mix more than 5h. 
  • cried the most during 'up' 
  • Can speak like 4 languages (English, french, Latin and spanish) 
  • loves traveling and learning about new cultures too 
  • dancer!inej’s biggest fan and hockey!matthias’ biggest fan 
  • always breaks snapchat streaks 
  • likes to (friendly) debate with jesper, especially over stupid things 
  • amazing with kids. babysits all the time. calls “bub” (the dog) her and matthias’ baby 
  • big spoon™ 
  • notes are so fucking pretty. buys the most expensive stationary and notebooks 
  • also huge supporter of human rights. runs the feminist club. (Jesper is the Vice President) stresses loving yourself and your body, and makes sure to design comfortable yet GORGEOUS clothes for “"plus sized people”“ 
  • wins 'dynamic duo’ award with inej 
  • always eating lollipops 
  • has a few very small tatos of cute things like roses and crowns. has one quote written in cursive on her rib

kaz: 

  • prefers black coffee as well 
  • loves crime shows, whether they’re real or fake. for instance loves both 'Dateline’ and 'Criminal Minds’ also loves 'House’
  •  favorite class is psychology, learning how a person thinks and acts and feels
  • has the dregs tattoo on his arm * edge lord 9000™ * such a drama queen and diva like damn 
  • *deep sigh* "I think I’d rather go take a nap” *gets up and leaves* 
  • also loves computer science. knows how to hack shit like a pro 
  • always rough housing with jesper. broke a table once 
  • does walk with a cane. likes to slap matthias’ ass with it 
  • “bow down you fucking peasants" 
  • only types in lower case with 0 emojis and no punctuation marks. CONSTANTLY leaves people on read 
  • only has Twitter and snapchat. His posts on snapchat never have captions, yet somehow has a 200 day streak with Jesper and a 250 day streak with inej 
  • loves watching horror movies with nina 
  •  *in a fight* "oh I’ll sHOW YOU SOME DIRTY HANDS” *swings* 
  • gets second place for best dressed award 
  • always sending memes with no context in their group chat, as well as vines 
  • indie and alternative rock fan 
  • “does it look like I care because I’m sorry if it does I didn’t mean to give you that impression" 
  • head over heels for inej Ghafa like wow 
  • likes to read a lot of mystery books and non fiction books 
  • cried the most during finding dory 
  • can solve a Rubik’s cube under a minute and won’t let you forget it 
  • The one asshole who picks either Kirby or metaknight in super smash brothers brawl
  •  hates seeing the notification bubble so he always has all chats muted and notifications turned off for apps 
  • kiss ass to all the teachers to get them A’s

Kuwei: 

  • SCIENCE NERD. ALWAYS singing the bill nye theme song. Loves ASAPScience on YouTube. Master at chemistry and biology 
  • "hey did u know bill nye is, like, my dad" 
  • nina treats him like a baby 
  • loves everything to do with Star Wars while wylan loves star trek more. Fighting ensues. 
  • has a pet Siamese cat name sparky 
  • Used to have a huge crush on jesper and everyone knew it except jesper. 
  • knows the intro to the bee movie ("according to all known laws of aviation-”)
  •  jesper in the group chat: “gonna go shower be right back” // kuwei: “without me ;)?” // wylan: “KUWEI SWEAR TO FUCK” // kaz: “watch your fucking language wylan" 
  • obsessed with Pokémon go even if it died out (chose team instinct) 
  • "fight me on this" 
  • has Twitter, snapchat and instagram 
  • Always drinking ginger ale 
  • master at bop it 
  • the one kid who always forgets to pay you back for stuff 
  • is also into the CW super hero shows, so him and wylan are constantly talking about it 
  • loves cartoons and anime 
  • speaks fluent fuckboy 
  • God awful at comebacks 
  • "let’s take a selfie guys !!!” // “kuwei no-” // *snapshot sound* 
  • talks !!! Like !! This !!!! for,,, some reason ???????? 
  • huge nerd for other things too like lord of the rings and Harry Potter and game of thrones 
  • cried the most during inside out
  •  "do you think planes are scared of heights?“ // "for fucks same kuwei it’s 4am”
cute couple things — p.p.

summary : extended dating peter would include… ft. a bunch of random thoughts i had about peter being a cute soft boyfriend !!!

  • reads your favorite books and memorizes lines from them that he can sneak into conversations to make you smile :)
  • it’s v hard for him to not look at you when he’s with you he just always wants to be looking at your face
    • “it’s, like, really hard to stop staring at you”
    • “huh?”
    • “you’re so pretty i can’t stop looking wow”
  • lights up !!!! when you walk into a room even if he’s just seen you two minutes ago and you were only in the bathroom for like a second
  • kisses you all of your face whenever he can just infinite amounts of kisses pressed across your cheeks and your nose and your eyelids 
  • he doesn’t really do nicknames like he’s not a darling sort of person
  • if he’s gonna call you anything it’ll probably be babe/baby/pretty girl or something of that sort
  •  (i started the pretty girl trend on the low don’t @ me)
  • sometimes you call him bro and he gets so offended 
    • “listen,,, peter,,, bro,,,,”
    • y/NNNN i’m not bro!!!!!!”
    • “k bro”
    • “you’re the worst” 
  • his face resembles that of a disgruntled pouty kitten whenever you call him bro
  • in school he taps his cheek lightly while facing away from you until you give him a kiss there and does that periodically throughout the day until MJ throws a pencil at him
    • “peter enough she’s kissed you like fifty times in the past twenty minutes haven’t you had enough”
    • “it’s never enough”
  • hands down gives the best hugs ever!!!! sweetest, softest, warmest hugs that you never wanna leave and they leave you a blushy mess for hours
  • nerd who tells you that you’re prettier than any star in the sky
  • will fight for your honor even if it means getting punched in the nose by one of flash’s bigger friends because flash won’t take on peter himself
    • “fuck peter why would you even call flash a giant dick??? like i know he is one but why would you ever you know his friend is like some sort of mutant tree”
    • “he said your butt was nice i can’t just let that sort of comment slide babe it’s unacceptable”
  • always knows he can rant to you about science bc you actually listen!!! and you care!! and you ask questions and you make him SO HAPPy!!
  • asks for permission to do everything
    • “hey would it be cool if i held your hand right now”
    • “yes of course”
    • “oh awesome!”
  • you send him selfies and his replies vary but they’re usually along the lines of
    • “oh my gosh you’re so cute i’m coming over”
    • “i love you you angel let me kiss you tomorrow”
    • “wow i have a real liFE ethereal as the love of my life i love the world”
  • sends a goodnight/goodmorning text every day with each heart emoji he can find 
  • his entire recently used section is just different colored hearts and rainbows and sparkles because he uses emojis obnoxiously
  • he’s convinced that the worst thing in the world is having to leave you after a long day of hanging out on a saturday or something
  • will 10/10 complain for hours to may about going home because he’s not with you anymore and he’s clingy
  • you’re his best friend and he’s not afraid to scream about it
    • “my best friend is dating me!!!!!!! i’m so lucky i love them so much” 
    • “peter we know”
    • “well now you know just a little extra all right?”
  • wishes you were able to fall asleep in his arms more often but you’re still young and he’s like oh well we have forever to do that
  • you insult each other all the time basically but??? you both love it banter is everything
      • “penis parKER flash is clever tbh”
      • “you’re such a little shit i’m actually going to fight you”
      • “seriously i dare you put your fists up now”
  • if you post a selfie and he doesn’t like it right away you’ll text him seven times in a row hinting that he should go like and comment 
  • texts at four am about random conspiracy theories or weird facts that only you two would find interesting 
  • shoulders = pillows on the train/bus most of the time
  • he is such a slut for having his hair played with ngl
  • it makes him so happy n calm he could lie like that, with your fingers just raking through his hair, for hours on end
  • he’s never felt more at home than when you’re sitting with him at his kitchen table eating mushy mac and cheese that he tried to make himself because may wasn’t home to help him out as you playfully make fun of him for ruining pasta
  • listens to ed sheeran songs with you because he’s an ed lover honestly and every song makes him think of you
  • hand massages when you’re cramping up after long tests or in class essays that leave you super stressed n anxious (fuck u ruby thx for the idea that murdered me n my soft spirit)
  • knows how to settle you nerves better than anyone else and vice versa
  • puts his hands on your cheeks before he kisses you 
  • you always joke about spidey in class and no one gets what you’re saying but he does and freaks out
    • “that’s a sticky situation”
    • “y/n” 
    • “don’t worry i found that on the web
    • y/n
    • “do you think spiders are men
    • “oh my gOD”
  • he doesn’t care at all if you take one of his sweaters or all of his sweaters he just gives zero fucks you could take them all and he’d love you for it 
    • “here take this one too”
    • “peter i have too many and it’s almost april”
    • “but you’d look so cute in this one” then he pouts and you’re a goner
  • peter writes you tiny notes in class that are his weird thoughts and ramblings and feelings but you save them all and put them in a memory box
    • there was one and it said here’s a concept : you have a bright future ahead of you, and i’m there. i like that concept.
      • you did, too
  • watches every cheesy romantic movie on netflix with you not just because you want to, but because he does too and he can’t help it that’s just how it is 
  • matching ugly christmas sweaters at christmastime because peter parker is an annoying headass and refuseS to go anywhere without one during the holiday season and if he’s wearing one he’s making you match
  • super spidey strength allows him to give you piggy back rides all throughout manhattan when you guys head to the city 
  • makes you kiss him in the rain even though there’s water up your nose and your hair is matted to your forehead 
  • one text makes your heart go !!!!!!!!! because that’s your boy!!!!! and you love him so much because he’s a lovely beautiful person that deserves the world !!!!!
  • making out is rarely super fast n intense like it’s still intense but you go slowly and you can make out for hours without a c are in the world
  • makes sure his hair looks nice before he goes out on a date with you
  • tells you that he loves you and that he’s happy you’re a part of his life as often as he can manage 
  • just wants to love you unconditionally forever
  • texts you at 11:11 every night and says something cheesy as fuck like “you’re my wish tonight babe” or “11:11 is always for you” and sometimes he’ll @ you on snap and you’re like wow we’re That couple 
  • but honestly???? you don’t care that much he’s so cute
  • knows your order at every restaurant/fast food chain/coffee shop imaginable and if he happens to pass by a mcdonalds or dunkin donuts while he’s swinging around queens he tries to pick something up for you 
  • you love his eyes you could probably get lost in them they’re gorgeous
    • “peter your eyes are so lovely i hate you”
    • “aw i love you more babe you say the sweetest things to me”
  • you think his smile is the prettiest thing ever
  • and when his face scrunches up when he’s super happY???? amazing you kiss him immediately everywhere and he gets so flustered and he giggles and tries to squirm away but not really
  • cause he loves it
  • and he loveS YOU
  • i love my boyfriend goodnight to all

Keep reading

Why I Actually Hate the Signs + 2 good traits to redeem this post
  • Aries: why r u so competitive!!!! chill for one second!!! also y'all impatient as fuck. worst tempers of all the signs like pls chill (courageous + passionate!!)
  • Taurus: So. Fucking. Stubborn. LITERALLY SO STUBBORN!!! and also? yall are lazy af. Probably the most boring sign EVER, don't feel bad tho bc every Taurus I've ever met gives great hugs. (dependable + down to earth!!)
  • Gemini: ok y'all are just mean but I'll cut u slack bc ur basically the most hated sign. Ur too superficial tho!! and u cant keep a secret for shit!! (adaptable + witty!!)
  • Cancer: where do I START y'all are too goddamn emotional n moody!! stop crying!! too worrisome too like chill for 1 sec!! also so needy omg (creative + loving!!)
  • Leo: ATTENTION SEEKING AF!! Not everything is about u!!! Ur egos are too goddamn fragile like stop taking every negative thing personally?? I'm pretty sure y'all would wilt like a mf flower without so much attention n adoration (loyal + generous!!)
  • Virgo: y'all are so critical...not everyone is a perfectionist like u omg. so needy too especially bc they're so self critical?? Y won't y'all accept that you're good enough CHRIST!! (kind + intelligent!!)
  • Libra: SO INDECISIVE!!! that's the main thing...ur all literally so indecisive omg. Yall are too dependent on others bc u have too much fear of being abandoned and alone lol (diplomatic + charming!!)
  • Scorpio: demons!!! all y'all!! Ur jealous, sarcastic, and vindictive and KNOW IT but u don't even try to better yourselves, y'all ARE ur negative traits. (ambitious + brave!!)
  • Sagittarius: Aloof, brutally honest, FEAR OF COMMITMENT, reckless. Stop just saying what's on ya goddamn mind!! Get a filter!!! And listen to the rules for once in ur life!!! (adventurous + funny!!)
  • Capricorn: SO. PESSIMISTIC. U guys literally never take risks?? also like half of y'all are complete workaholics...chill for 1 sec omg. the main thing is ur too cautious like take a risk for once. second most boring after taurus lol (hardworking + responsible!!)
  • Aquarius: TOO FUCKING UNPREDICTABLE!! y'all will literally rebel for the sake of rebelling?? stop?? also y'all have like no sense of identity...it's bc ur so nonconformist and rebellious LMAO (independent + humanitarian!!)
  • Pisces: hooooo boy. oh man oh man y'all are so self pitying. Not as sensitive as cancer but still so fucking sensitive??? Impressionable, naive, and gullible af. (easygoing + compassionate!!)
fav little BTS things:
imagine CEO namjoon.

Originally posted by cuteguk

  • what’s there to say? we already know he’s a great leader.
  • heir to the country’s largest publishing/printing firm.
  • also the greenest publishing/printing company in the country, like top five in the world, all thanks to namjoon’s initiatives.
  • he takes the whole inheriting business thing very seriously, determined to deserve the company and to be the best boss ever.
  • graduates early from a prestiged business school abroad and shares the responsibilities at the company to give his ageing father a break.
  • he’s so !!!! invested !!! in the health and happiness of his employees !!!!
  • wins All The Awards, for his green initiatives, planting trees, and making jobs, and protecting the environment ect, but also for having the happiest employees in the country.
  • he’s always arranging conferences and seminars for his employees to educate and encourage health/happiness/safety/equal opportunity/respect/ect in the workplace.
  • he works so hard to make sure everyone even down to the lowest branches are insured and that there are daycares and mom’s get the paid leave they need and deserve and that everyone gets and equal and fair wage.
  • bless him.
  • unfortunately all this work on top of his official workload means he doesn’t have much time to look after himself.
  • but in his mind he’s suffering is worth the safety and health of so many others he doesn’t even mind tho he’s kinda sad.
  • so, you work in the HR department.
  • and the head of the department fucks off on maternity leave and by some miracle ???? you get a hasty promotion.
  • no, you’re not really the head of HR but your function is pretty much the same and you don’t mind because the pay is goOD.
  • part of your responsibilities as head is to keep namjoon briefed on the general mood and concern of the people in his branch, i.e the large building full of people he feels directly responsible for.
  • he even has a whole suggestion box system, so once a week you just have to go through the notes people leave you and present a list to namjoon with a few possible solutions etc.
  • piece of cake.
  • except he’s hot as all hell.
  • i mean, it’s not a problem, far from it, he’s just very distracting.
  • but your meetings with him are the highlight of your work week so you do a really good job or at least you try, and also wear something nice.
  • and you think he’s just kinda clumsy and awkward.
  • but actually he finds you really distracting as well.
  • and your meetings are A Mess for the first month or so, until you get into the swing of things and get your shit together.
  • and the complaints he gets are never a big deal because everyone is happy and has nothing to complain about like ???
  • his secretary complaining that him playing smooth jazz all day in his office is getting kinda annoying and please would he play some classical or maybe bossa nova for a change.
  • or that his wacky ties and other questionable fashion choices are giving them a headache.
  • or jeon jungkook complaining about someone’s coffee breath again.
  • an anonymous submission says jimin is apparently??? too??? cute???
  • jung hoseok won’t stop moonwalking to the photocopier while humming thriller and it’s not even october and michael jackson doesn’t even moonwalk to thriller ugh ???????
  • yoongi keeps falling asleep at his desk and forgetting to go home at the end of the day.
  • harmless stuff like that. 
  • (namjoon stays late so he starts driving yoongi home because that’s just the kind of Great boss he is.)
  • and most of the time you two spend these meeting gossiping about drama between the departments and rolling on the floor laughing.
  • and you’re so in awe that someone can be so wonderful and selfless, making use of his privilege to protect people less fortune than him.
  • and your meeting are usually after lunch, so you come back from lunch to find him buried in paperwork and you begin to wonder, who takes care of him?
  • you ask if he had lunch and he’s like lol of course not have you met me
  • and you suggest postponing the meeting because there’s nothing urgent going on and you can take care of “kim taehyung keeps sneaking his dog into the office” on your own.
  • but he’s like “nO!!! please, our meetings are the only break i get, they keep me sane, they’re kinda the highlight of my week.”
  • and you sputter like ????? “im,,,what??? me ?? too?”
  • from that day on he starts taking you out for lunch every week and that way your meetings get twice as long.
  • and eventually you have to ask him, since nothing is going on in the office, “what about you, namjoon? how are you doing?”
  • and he thinks for a moment and he’s like “you know what, i feel kinda shitty actually.”
  • so you let him vent all his sadness and weird existential thoughts and angst for a few weeks and eventually suggest maybe he takes responsibility for his own health and happiness and maybe a good step would be to see a therapist?
  • and he does because he values your opinion and honestly it’s the only selfish thing he’s done in years and it makes him feel 1000001x better to have his concerns and ideas affirmed and listened to by a professional. therapy is cool, kids.
  • and one day shy joonie hands you a little poem he wrote you on a post-it, describing all the little detail he’s observed about him that makes his heart race and his head go all slow and foggy.
  • because he really,,,,,,,,,,,,, really likes you, and hopes this isn’t weird or anything if you don’t feel the same way that’s cool but he’s felt this way for a while and you’re the best thing that’s happened to him since this company and he just thought you deserved to know and he’s sorry.
  • and you have to like glue yourself to that dining chair so you don’t climb that dang table and throw yourself at him because namjoon is the most wonderful man on earth you treasure him and you want to keep him safe and happy because he deserves as much kindness as he’s prepared to give and he has nothing to be sorry for and you love him.
  • and he loves you too.
  • anyway, nsfw under the cut.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

//slides into ur inbox and trips// so I heard u like frostmaster- me too!! What do you think about them? :3c

I REALLY LIKE A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT FROSTMASTER BUT MAINLY THE DYNAMIC OF… LIKE… LET ME TRY TO EXPLAIN

ok, loki is what, a couple thousand years old? so way old compared to just about anyone else. and in relationships he’s used to having the upper hand. he’s used to toying with people. he’s used to holding all the strings. he is more powerful than most people and even if he doesn’t have more raw power he’s definitely going to be smarter. he’s used to this.

and the guy lands on sakaar, and immediately screws his way to the top of the hierarchy. and then there’s the grandmaster.

you should read the wiki article for this dude. he is outrageously powerful. like he’s powerful enough to bring the universe to its fucking knees, but he doesn’t do that, he plays games. that’s his singleminded obsession and it literally keeps him alive.

the guy is literally as old as the universe itself. call him maybe 13 billion years old give or take a billion or so. 13,000,000,000 years. that’s… unimaginably, impossibly old.

his powers include superhuman strength, speed, durability, agility, etc. he is literally immortal because he and the rest of the elders of the universe have literally been banned from death’s realm. he’s ridiculously intelligent and he has all the knowledge he’s ever gained over his insanely long life. oh, and he has psionic powers like telekinesis and telepathy, and energy manipulation. he can “molecularly manipulate the matter of most beings and objects even over a global scale.” and he can teleport, so that’s neat.

how is he so powerful? oh, just because he literally channels residual energy from the goddamn big bang

and he chooses to spend his time…playing games and being a socialite, because he’s a hedonist at heart

so, suffice to say, loki is more than a little out of his depth here. the grandmaster is thousands of times more powerful than he is and driven by having fun. and loki is his newest toy. basically, i love the fact that loki is finally not holding all the cards. he’s not holding any cards. and it’s as exciting for him as it is terrifying. and it’s really terrifying.

the grandmaster, meanwhile? he’s delighted at loki. loki isn’t as powerful as him, and doesn’t have as much knowledge… but this little frost giant is SMART. he almost rivals the grandmaster in raw intelligence, gives him a run for his money. and that’s so refreshing because the grandmaster hasn’t known anyone who’s been able to keep up with him in a long, long, time.

he’s the last of his species–the first lost, the first found and all–and he’s been lonely. so you can bet your ass that a big part of him is grinning and jumping up and down in excitement that he’s found someone who matches him in at least one aspect. when he and loki play games, loki challenges him, for real. and loki’s unique–a frost giant raised as aesir, a tragic prince, a trickster, a killer, a god of mischief. he’s almost too good. and he’s so fun to play with because he poses a challenge and the grandmaster hasn’t been challenged in a long time.

loki’s not his equal, really, but he’s a lot of fun. and the grandmaster likes to have fun, especially when he has the upper hand.

he never meant to fall in love with the little frost prince, but, well, shit happens.

ANYWAY LOOKS LIKE I WROTE A WHOLE SHIP MANIFESTO LMAO BUT THEMS THE BREAKS THATS WHY I LOVE FROSTMASTER

also jeff goldblum is hot

super massive richjake headcanon post

ok so basically this is gonna be a huge headcanon post about richjake that @richardgoranski and i made over the past like month (anything in bold is a direct quote from connor)


  • so back when chloe and jake are dating chloe is like ‘i think we should break up’ and jakes like um why and chloe is like well clearly youre in love with rich and also i like brooke
  • and jake is like um what i have no idea what youre talking about and chloe turns jake around to look at rich whos on the other side of the hallway/room and his breath hitches and chloe is like smh u Gayass
  • and so chloe is like jake just ask him out!! but jake keeps denying it like haha what im not in love with rich idk where youre getting this from until chloe just stands there and gives him A Look and jake is just like…..ok fine but what if he says no and chloe is like wtf youll be fine
  • so jake goes up to rich and is uncharacteristically nervous and red and he confesses to rich and asks him out and rich is like omg….and accepts and BOOM theyre dating 

under the cut are just some (lmao i mean A LOT) random headcanons that dont go in any particular order

Keep reading

Yoongi As Your Boyfriend

so this was requested. also, yoongs would be a great boyfriend, getting that out of the way. also, my friend’s bias is yoongi. get wrecked bish.

request: Can you plz do yoongi as a bf?? ..ur writing is just so good and literally wow god bless👌❤️❤️ 

also, thank you for the compliment ^^ i’m trying my best

here’s my masterlist, and requests are open~

Originally posted by meanyoongis

  • he’s perfect bless him
  • if he’s your boyfriend then you won at life
  • like no joke at all
  • you slayed existence
  • hmm, i don’t think this gramps would be able to strike a conversation with a stranger, so, uh, let’s say you are a friend of the boys but like, not super close with yoongs k
  • he’s the guy who would admire from distance, he doesn’t take initiative, and he’s kind of content with the relationship he has with you
  • ok not really
  • “namjoon, set me up with them” “what? why?” “because i said so”
  • he isn’t as smooth but he gets the message across lmao
  • hmm, i imagine you’d go to a music shop with namjoon and yoongi tags along and suddenly where’s namjoon
  • but it’s okay, you got yoongi with you
  • tbh he seems pretty cold and intimidating
  • but you ask him about some album or artist and his eyes literally light up and he starts rambling and he got this cute lil smile on his lips the whole time and he’s gesticulating and you’ve never seen someone be so excited over talking
  • and by the time you guys are over with talking about music, the shop needs to close so you get evacuated really smoothly but you don’t even realize, you’re still talking
  • you even forgot about namjoon, poor guy he’s 10 feet behind you guys, patting himself on the shoulder bc “great job nams”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Dan's new live video @ 5:01, there's definitely some hair straighteners on the floor

i have a few things to say, but i’ll start from left to right. 

a) i loved his face when someone pointed out the candle on the other night table, idk he was just so taken aback. like “… oh yeah! single candle… the bedroom candle…” 

b) i love the bed, it’s so pretty. everything just looks neat? besides from the bloody awful curtains; the moon mirror, the frame of the bed, it’s all lovely. 

c) what is that black box my dude. is that the new box of secrets? what is that about.

d) why does he have the stupid rockband drum set in the bedroom, i thought the consoles were upstairs? no, Hold the fuck up, the DRUMSET used to be upstairs!! I’M SURE OF IT. have u guys put a tv in the bedroom and carried all the consoles downstairs so you could play lying on the bed? that’s peak lazyness, i’m so disappointed in you both. 

e) ah yes, the dryson hairdryer. that shit is full 200 pounds. they have the hair dryer and two dryson fans, this is rich commodity in its finest. i wonder if they have the hoover as well, that one looks amazing and everyone says it’s actually totally worth the thousand dollars. 

f) the straighteners and the concept of this being proof. i think that at this point, it’s just funny to me that it’s a topic we have to talk about, the straighteners were on the floor last time he did a liveshow in the room and i thought that was it, right? i feel like people just forget things happen and/or act as if we don’t know they share a bedroom! i mean, do as you please, but i’d like skip ahead into the part where we accept it’s a thing and we let this be the normal, status quo, this is what it is you know? still lovely to be reminded that they do though, i get ya.

g) what is the white thing hanging from that awful curtain, what is it. i need answers.

h) in what fucking moment did both of them hoard so many pairs of shoes. i swear to god, all dan wears is those ones with the zips and phil wears the blue ones and that’s about it. but im counting here over 20 pairs of shoes, and they even want us to believe that they’re owned by just dan? try me again, what the hell is this, they need to start giving to charity, there is NO WAY they find use to over 20 pair of shoes, you do not need that many, specially when you spend most of your life at home wearing socks.

i) it’s funny that even though the mess that was the last time he did a liveshow in his room, with phil’s damage control and all, the mirror is still there, like whatever my dude. cool white mirror dan. 

i think that’s all, thanks for reading if u made it this far. 

anonymous asked:

ok everyone is constantly on about neil and allison and neil and matt but WHERE are my discussions on neil and kevin?? don't even TRY and tell me they're not lowkey besties

OH MY FUCKING GOD MY GUY,,, DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED i wrote a whole fucking essay on neil and kevin trying to get into the extra josten squad i’m never ok. anyway even tho i said don’t get me started,,,, im getting started

OK. LIKE. their relationship is so fucky to start with. neil looks at kevin and sees everything he could have had. he’s just… jealous in a lot of ways. but it takes him like 0 time to realise that actually, kevin’s life has been pretty shit, and he’s IMMEDIATELY protective of kevin. like,, he’s so pissed off at kevin for pressuring him into being on kathy’s show but he totally gets where he’s coming from and as soon as riko starts being an asshat he’s just like “you know what? my life isn’t worth anything. i’ll give it up for kevin. no question.” no doubt, he’s a ride or die motherfucker and he gives it all up for kevin

LOOK AT THIS!!! THIS ISN’T BC OF A DEAL OR SOMETHING!! NEIL’S JUST LIKE. NO. WE’RE ON THE SAME TEAM. #FUCKRIKO2K17 

he doesn’t even last two pages and then he’s just. so fucking pissed he literally can’t even let riko talk anymore. what kind of a gem

oh my god and this is just like… the start. this is the first book. this is pretty much the first time neil shows any type of care for anything except surviving this year. he was gonna run away before he even saw riko, and here riko’s not looking at him and he paints a target on his back for kevin??? i love him

alright and that’s not all. it’s not just neil adopting kevin. kevin straight up adopts that boy too. he loves neil for his exy, and he’s certain he’ll make court, but do you see him inviting anyone else to practice at night? nope. AND AS SOON AS KEVIN FINDS OUT THAT NEIL IS NATHANIEL HE DOES THE SAME THING he doesn’t defy riko or smth not yet but

HE STRAIGHT UP ADOPTS NEIL RIGHT BACK!!! and i dont even have to show u guys this quote its the fucking apex of their relationship-

OH MY GODDDDD he believes so much in neil!!!! he’s so fucking upset that neil can’t have a future. he wants that for our boy as much as we do; like nothing else that has happened has hurt kevin that much. 

and they see themselves in each other. they SEE that they’re basically just alternate timelines of each other - that one small difference could have made either one of them into the other

a BUNCH of their compassion for each other comes because they know what they’re looking at. they’re looking at themselves, if there had been one small change in their lives. and both of them know that it wouldn’t have been good either way - both routes were torture in different ways. kevin has a future, but the moriyamas will always be hanging over them; neil was free for a while, but it won’t last. they KNOW that for each other and that fuels them. there’s a bond there that just can’t be ignored ok??

ALSO. LETS NOT FORGET. KEVIN OFFERED TO NOT DRINK FOR NEIL! JUST IF NEIL WANTED TO DRINK!!

even nicky comments like “kevin has CLEARLY just done something nice for neil but kevin’s a BRAT” like. kevin cares so fucking much,, he’s like “you know what? if i were in neil’s shoes i would already be fucking wasted. idk if it will help but if he wants to he should be able to. i got u, bro.” what a BOY. i love him they’re the best friends

and okay if anyone needs more- i swear i’m wrapping this post up - when neil thinks about his future, he sees andrew. obviously. BUT HE ALSO SEES KEVIN THERE.

they’re straight up best friends and brothers and i fucking love them

and as a last point, this is extra content instead of book-canon, but

NEIL IS AS IMPORTANT TO KEVIN AS THEA IS. MIKE DROPPED. MY BOYS.

anonymous asked:

Hi, so I kind of had a weird request, it's different than the usual, I want the rfa reacting to MC and Saeyoung dating and being clingy, pda and stuff, like continuing from 707s after ending, and if it's not much trouble, rfa reacting to jumin and mc dating and also pda etc etc, if you decide to do it thank you in advance, if not, I understand, it might get quite long, nontheless thank you!!

IMMA DO ALL OF EM 
what i kinda planned is under each member the headcanons will be how the other members react to them and MC ((idk if that makes sense but let’s see if this works out~~)) 

Yoosung: 

✮ everyone thinks y’all are goddamn adorable
✮ because yoosung is such a virgin 
✮ so you gotta be innocent as well to protect him
✮ jaehee is lowkey jealous bc your relationship is just so cute 
✮ but she’s hella supportive and Mom Mode is on because ‘omg look at her two children go’
✮ zen often gives relationship advice to yoosung 
✮ tries to be genuine but he complains about being single so much more
✮ jumin probably couldn’t care less 
✮ but when you both send photos of the other (or both of you) with your cat Lisa he’s like ‘!!! CAT’ 
✮ says it’s cute (you both just take the compliment, knowing very well he’s only talking about lisa)
✮ seven pranks yoosung even more but now he does it involving you
✮ as in, saying things like
✮ ‘YOOSUNG, MC JUST CALLED ME FROM THE HOSPITAL?!?!?!’
✮ and yoosung fuckin fREAKS out
✮ he’s crying and shaking and he’s about to Zoom to the hospital
✮ until you call seven out on his shit (yoosung cried a little more while clinging on to you)
✮ yoosung will dubiously mistrust seven forever  

Jaehee: 

✎ she is hardly the one to do pda and be cutesy and stuff so it’s totally up to you 
✎ you like to send photos and selfies of you two working at the cafe 
✎ and when she’s completely engrossed in one of zen’s things 
✎ zen is highkey jealous upset. he just wants all the attentions and now the only two females in the RFA clearly aren’t romantically interested in him anymore
✎ jumin was kinda surprised by the whole ‘coming out’ bit when you announced y’all were in a romantic relationship 
✎ but he put away his salt about jaehee quitting and is probably the most supportive of the relationship (bc he says that jaehee is super responsible and that you’re patient and just all around great) 
yoosung probably gets turned on by it 
✎ you know he’s That Guy 
✎ but other than that he doesn’t really say a lot about it 
✎ he also complains about being single a lot more 
✎ seven makes fanart and writes fanart 140% 

Zen:

✿ you think he’s a narcissist now?
BOI
✿ ALL THE SELFIES. ALL OF THEM. SPAMS THE DAMN CHAT. 16+ PHOTOS A DAY
✿ also says stuff like ‘we’re the perfect couple. there is no couple cuter than us. we should be you #goals’ 
✿ yoosung is jealous af 
so is jaehee 
JAEHEE WRITES FANFICTION
✿ she actually probably has a joint ao3/tumblr/wattpad with seven
✿ jumin is Salt
✿ but he brings up the point of if zen has enough time for you between all his acting and singing and all that other stuff
✿ and zen sends back a candid photo of you talking to his director
✿ is like ‘HA’
✿ seven likes to make sex jokes all the damn time 
✿ definitely makes jokes about The Beast 

Jumin: 

₩ it would probably be really cute 
₩ but when he tries to send photos of you/you with elizabeth/him and you/all 3
₩ they’re always B L U R R Y 
₩ so you teach The Jumin Han how to take a selfie 
₩ zen is probably uncomfortable and also very salty 
₩ jaehee appreciates the relationship because jumin is always in a better mood and you can convince him to give her breaks and paid vacation 
₩ so she lowkey loves y’all 
₩ yoosung could probably give less than a shit 
₩ he’s just playing LOLOL alone 
₩ but he kinda likes it because you can get Jumin to ease up on jumin’s LOLOL bashing
₩ seven also makes sex jokes 
₩ ‘have you ever made MC wear cat ears?’
₩ “Great idea Saeyoung”
₩ everyone is !!!!!!
₩ you try not to kill him 

Seven/Saeyoung: 

⌨  he doesn’t like photos of him bc y’know 
⌨  privacy 
⌨  so you try to take selfies with him without him realising 
⌨  so the result is blurry photos with your face in the bottom corner laughing and saeyoung in the close background falling off his chair because he tried to chase you 
⌨  everyone lowkey loves the relationship because you two are always really happy together 
⌨  zen of course is salty because ‘he never leaves the house but gets a girlfriend?!’ 
⌨  seven likes teasing everyone about his Catch
⌨  so he’ll send random photos of you. always 
⌨  ‘look how cute MC is awwwww’ 
⌨  everyone, but especially Jaehee, really like and appreciate how you support each other’s emotions 
⌨  once made you dress up as a cat (like with the ears, maybe a tail with a questionable explanation of how it’s staying there)
⌨  took a picture you thought was ~private~
⌨  but he POSTED IT ON THE CHAT
⌨  WITH THE CAPTION
⌨  ‘jumin you were right~~ i am a cat abuser ;;;)))‘
⌨  you scream and spam the chat trying to make sure no one sees it 


okay so once i finished this i realised it was kind of only pda through the chat?? if you want another set where it’s more in person?? then definitely feel free to send in another request! 

But I hope you liked this ♡

♡ PLEASE SEND IN REQUESTS ♡

anonymous asked:

hi im a very new army like i only became an army yesterday and your one of the few army blogs im following and i want to pick a bias but i need help.i never pick a based on their looks i tend to focus on the personality more and since you know the boys pretty well can you give me a real quick brief summary about the boys and their personality so i can pick a bias?<3

*cracks knuckles* alright. let’s do this.

this is jin. vocalist. real name kim seokjin. born dec 4th 1992. also called mama jin, super mario enthusiast number #1, the most handsome man alive. from anyang. feeds the rest of the members to make sure they don’t die of starvation. loves to cook. apparently cooks bland food (source: yoongi). has the voice of an angel. listen to his covers on soundcloud. probably loves the color pink more than you. has a mukbang called eat jin. the oldest. is very caring and motherly towards the group, but knows when to turn on the sass when the kids are acting like they deserve an ass whoopin’. once accidentally posted a picture in their dorm with a condom in the background. once stepped out of a car and became an internet sensation: car door guy. is actually the most handsome man alive. 

this is suga. rapper. real name min yoongi. born march 9 1993. also called min pd, producer min, d-boy, min yoongi jjang jjang man boong boong, grandpa of the group.  enjoys his sleep. can often be seen in the background of videos just chilling on his phone. #Relatable in the form of a man. seems like a tough guy is actually the sweetest thing alive and cries when thanking the fans at concerts and writes 100-tweet-long messages. once spent an hour tweeting from the bath. loves kumamon more than life. balances stuffed animals on his head during fansigns. a grumpy gus. from daegu and dont u forget it. the absolute sassiest thing alive. a great producer. super hardworking. has scented candles in his studio. once licked a bath bomb. 

this is jhope. rapper and dancer. real name jung hoseok. born feb 18 1994. nicknames hobi, your hope, piece of literal sunshine. do not look at him smiling or else you’ll be blinded by how bright it is. expert at girl group dances. likes to hit people. sometimes posts videos of himself/does livestreams dancing titled hope on the street. choreography leader. from gwangju. go listen to his solo song 1verse on their soundcloud. energetic and hella wild. goofy and is a pro at making people laugh. can’t dance in heels. scared of everything. if you watch a video and there is unidentified screaming in the background, that is probably him. is as flexible as a cooked noodle and it terrifies me.

this is rap monster. ignore the stage name. rapper and leader. real name kim namjoon. born sept 12 1994. nicknames: dance monster, rapmon, RM, leader mon, a nerd. waxes poetic about so many things and i love it. philosophical as hell. from ilsan. loves to share his music on twitter #RMusic. hella fashionable, even though his fashion sense is also hella weird. posts #aesthetic fashion pics on twitter called #KimDaily. has a mixtape called RM thats fire. is r-a-p monster not d-a-n-c-e monster. has an IQ of 140 but probably still pushes on doors that have PULL signs. taught himself english. loves to read a lot. once tripped at rehearsal and injured himself. really fucking awkward and an actual dorky nerd. leaves his old contact lenses on the floor of his room. snores really loudly.

this is jimin. vocalist and dancer. full name park jimin. born oct 13 1995. nicknames: jiminnie, pabo, angel on earth. his body is more fluid than a bottle of water. has a laugh that is brighter than the sun and could cure famine and disease. turns into a sex god when performing; it offends me. but knows how to crank up the cuteness. so cute he could probably kill me and i’d thank him. is actually a brat. does everything he can for his members and would probs walk thru hell if one of them asked. doesnt like being short. is the shortest member. super duper giggly and shy when he’s not performing. turns red as a tomato when he’s embarrassed. once grabbed jungkook by the dick on international live television.

this is v. vocalist. real name kim taehyung. born dec 30 1995. nicknames: taetae, honey, sweetie pie, a little shit. is really energetic and crazy. a master at making ridiculous faces at the camera when It Is Not The Time to be doing so. has a square smile that could probably solve global warming. likes to post videos on twitter that make me wanna sue. once bumped his head on a microphone on live television. loves stuffed animals. is a bigger fan of the rap line than u are. loves children and dogs will go out of his way to interact with them. so super duper touchy with all of the members and i live for it. would be the type of guy to prank you by filling your shoes with whipped cream. he thinks you should watch haikyuu! once did the whip on a tv show about pets for no goddamn reason.

this is jungkook. vocalist, dancer, maknae. full name jeon jungkook. born sept 1 1997. nicknames: kookie, golden maknae, spawn of satan. is the youngest and finds delight in bothering and fucking with his hyungs. actually really shy and cute. but then turns into a smoldering muscle pig the moment he’s on stage. my son. adios middle school. was banned from the gym because his muscles were getting too intense. could still beat me up if he tried. listen to his covers on soundcloud. has a very flexible face. the fandom likes to portray him as this mysterious sex god when he’s actually a nerdy shy emo kid who would rather binge watch anime than sleep. his fave anime character is one punch man. might actually be a bunny reincarnated into a human being. once ate a gumball that fell on the ground.

and that my friends is bangtan sonyeondan. 

yu-gi-oh post-DSoD headcanons
  • after that scene where seto goes like “you have your bound with him, i have mine”, no one sees him for a while. he just vanishes, don’t go on any competitions anymore, only keeps himself locked in his office and working as a way to distract himself
  • mokuba starts to get really worried about his brother but when he asks him what’s going on, all he gets for an answer is “business must come first, don’t have time do worry about anything else”
  • and seto not being that sassy super extra bitch he always is????? there must be something wrong dEFINETLY there’s something wrong
  • i mean he is a total fashion icon and all he wears now are basic suits 
  • mokuba “yugi i don’t know what happened with my brother but you are always trapped into some magic shit so you must know what to do please come help”
  • yugi don’t know what to do since he hasn’t seen seto for a while and he doesn’t have atem (who used to have the strongest bond with seto) to help him anymore, so he does the first thing he can think about and it is send a box full of chocolates with a little note “i’m sorry about the pharaoh and i know i can’t fully understand, but mokuba’s worried and i think we should talk???? even if our bonds with him were different, you and i are possibly the only ones capable of understanding each other”
  • seto “i fucking hate feeling positive stuff” kaiba
  • seto finally being his extra bitch self but not what he used to, taking the chocolates to mokuba and saying “i told you i was fine, don’t ever do it again”
  • he keeps isolating himself for some other days until one night he wakes up from a nightmare where atem is falling and falling of a mountain of something and seto can’t do anything to help and he has to watch the man getting closer to his death every second that passes
  • seto calling yugi in the middle of the night “i think we should talk too”
  • yugi “it’s literally 2am couldn’t you wait till morning?”
  • “i had a nightmare please come over” and bc yugi is so sweet and caring he asks for a ride and goes inside the limousine to seto’s house and when he arrives there’s no one nowhere to be seen and then seto appears and is like “come upstairs”
  • “yugi i miss him so much i don’t know what to do how do YOU live with that”
  • for a moment yugi considers giving the friendship speech but he knows it won’t work it out for seto so he decides to be the friend seto needs without saying a thing, he just goes like “you need to do other stuff, only working is not making you any good” and they keep talking all night about the weird magic shit they used to have to deal with but yet they miss them
  • yugi waking up on seto’s bedroom floor and being “shit i’m late” and taking a ride on the limo to school and all the kids gossiping about “wow what is sweet little yugi mutou doing on kaiba’s limousine???”
  • yugi explaining to the gang about what happened and they being pissed because he’s helping an asshole like seto and yugi being all like “i’m sorry if you cannot understand but i’m still helping him whether u like it or not”
  • yugi going straight ahead to kaiba’s mansion after school to spend time with him and talking about the pharaoh and magic shit and dueling just for fun, no important shit on their shoulders, just oldschool duel monsters
  • the gang having to accept after some time that now seto is as important to yugi as they are and maybe he comes first on some matters. but they are ok with that because yugi wasn’t 100% ok after the pharaoh finally going to rest for eternity, but when he started to hang around with seto he went back being the same old yugi, happy and gentle and no more sad eyes
  • seto and yugi’s friendship becoming stronger everyday that passes and they keep talking about everything and helping each other being better and there was this one vacation yugi spent with the kaibas on an island somewhere in the atlantic
  • the two of them being friends for like one year or so and seto suddenly realising yugi doesn’t look like a child anymore and he looks more and more like atem - he’s taller, stronger, his features are getting the shape of an adult
  • seto “i’m trying to get over a guy and then i’m best friends with his fucking reincarnation” kaiba
  • but yugi is still yugi and he’s still so smol and a little sunshine that needs to be protected bc he’s so good and gentle and caring and ready to give up on everything for the people he loves
  • seto “shit i’m love” kaiba freaking our because how the fuck did it happen one day they are just rivals and suddenly they are bffs and now he has a ridiculous crush on the guy he used to hate?????
  • “seto are you ok you are a little weird this week”
  • haHAHA mE??????? i’m cOMpleTely fiNE it’s nOt lIKe i’m in lOVe WIth U or aNYtHIng
  • what
  • what
Episode 4 was a fandom wide callout post.

all you fools too busy being pissed bc Coran went all show crazy and basically re-characterized the paladins to what the masses found entertaining, to notice that the entire episode was literally a fandom wide call out post. they literally called us out guys. 

lets go over the list of things Coran said/did in ep 4 and compare them shall we?

let me preface this by saying he literally wasn’t himself and i still love him just as much as before, my gorgeous man.

”I worked up very specific personas for each of you. This is going to help the audience connect on a much deeper level with each team member.” 

as if they didn’t already have defining personalities that make them very likable and awesome? sounds familiar right? its one thing to speculate and theorize based on what we know about a character especially if we don’t know a lot about said character. the writers put a lot of time and effort into developing these characters and even said during an interview once that one of the things that bugged them about og Voltron was that the only properly developed character was Keith. the other guys didn’t get a chance to be loved. and that was what they aimed to do, to give every paladin and character the chance to be loved. since the beginning the fandom has been bad at this. taking one teeny trait from each character and twisting them so that the only thing that matters is that trait. 

         “lover-boy lance”

throughout the series lance is known  to flirt with…pretty much every cute alien girl. of course. hes handsome, charming, girls love him. Coran wipes away all of the actually relatable things about his personality in favor of this charming flirt who would win over girls. Lance is insecure, he’s witty, he is the freaking sharpshooter, the teams sniper and their glue. he’s voltrons right hand now for a reason. he got into the garrison which is a military space exploration base, not just anyone gets in. hes incredibly intelligent and a great pilot. amazing really. bc simulations are always absolutely terrible and rarely help. oh yea, and hes charming.but god forbid anyone forget that hes a flirt. who cares about the other stuff that will actually help the audience connect with him. 

        “science wiz pidge” 

its no secret that pidge is incredibly intelligent. she is one of the characters who haven’t gotten their developing points until this season. in one of the first flashbacks we learned she nearly gave up studying because some kid decided to be a dick and bully her. Matt pulled her out of it and encouraged her to work hard. later on in ep 4 coran says that her science doesn’t need to be factually correct because noone will understand her either way. he undermined her intelligence because . well. noone cares what she says as long as it sounds smart. fanfic writers do this a lot. like. a lot. i understand that you may not have the same knowledge that the girl who hacked herself into a military school base undercover at he age of 14-15 (if the theory that the garrison is a high school program is correct) because she had gotten banned for sneaking in and hacking into the computer system, but if you really do insist on focusing her on her smarts, do some research. no to mention. pidge may be the youngest, but she really is more than science and calculations. shes intelligent yes, but she can hold her own in battle (at the age range of 15-17 with no prior battle training), shes afraid of the possible reality that all her efforts are wasted and Matt and Sam are dead, she is actually pretty social with the paladins (she can even be seen hanging out in the kitchen while hunk makes glass cookies.) and beyond her intelligence, shes wise. shes not just random science facts, she knows how to hold her own in situations outside of battle and books. shes street smart. 

       “lone wolf keith”

now i know this was said to allura, and ill get to that. but if the keith vlog showed us anything, its that  hes not just a moody loner teenager.  i am very guilty of this myself. i portray keith as a human disaster. we don’t know hen he was left alone, we don’t really know much of his story. i head canon that his dad left him to fend for himself but every month woul drop off food or money or something. i head canon hes terrible about taking care of his body. but at least i don’t call him moody and move on.  i give him a background to fill in the blank space, but sometimes i forget and focus too much on his folded arms and  pouty face. he smiles. he laughs. hes an actual precious bean.  but hes also afraid of being pushed away. hes guarded and does his best to be strong. he hides his feelings and protects his heart with everything he has. (geez boi who hurt you). he is not the human embodiment of “teenagers” by mcr. aka he has feelings too. not to mention he also got into the garrison, and was the top pilot regardless of how he got in, if it happened to be by recommendation like most people think. 

      “humourous hunk”

as a hunk stan this one annoys me the most. throughout the episode hunk is consistently embarrassed, and even protests the fart noises, fart jokes, etc. he is purposely tripped for laughs. the fandom forgets that hes not just the fat funny guy, or just the personal chef. hes overcome so much since babies first lion flight, he used to get sick, constantly had to be the voice of reason to keep his teammates out of trouble,  he is just as intelligent as pidge and is actually one of the only people that can keep up with her science stuff. keith and lance even stated that they didnt understand anything they’d said. hes a fantastic engineer even if he had a few tummy mishaps. hes an amazing pilot too, and extremely sassy. he and pidge probably rigged the game console to work in space, And hes pretty friendly and cautious. he is NOT meant to be the comic relief. (say it louder for people in the back)

     “shiro the hero”

a lot of the fandom has taken to calling shiro daddy, sexualizing him (”now put on this tight shirt”) and focusing on shiro and only shiro (shiros the “favorite character” of corans little show). hes great. he really is. and the man needs a break. voltron is a kids show. he isnt meant to  be sexualized, none of them are. hes more than his arms and his leadership abilities. the biggest issue i have with the whole shiro thing. regardless of if hes a clone, when shiro returned he cut his hair differently, and wore short sleeves. everyone i know, including me, said they’d be fine with the clone if he had kept his hair long and “as much as i love the arm view” and didnt change his outfit. its a kid show. his body shouldn’t matter.i am also guilty of this, and ep 4 opened my eyes to it. coran lifted shiros arm as if to prove that thats what the audience really wanted. he treats shiro differently bc hes the real star here and everyone should know it. ofc, hes the black paladin. (i wonder where the whole “the black paladin is the only one who really matters here” mindset came from. looking @ u ‘84). shiros may have ptsd, and hes constantly trying to hold himself together for his team, and its obviously not easy. maybe thats why hes got a cute white floof. the stress. 

      alluras erasure  

another point that always bugged me. the fandom either forgets allura exists, or that she is just stealing lances place temporarily. Allura is the blue paladin. while keith is gone, she is not filling in. shes a paladin now too. for coran to call her keith, and constantly call her keith, even though she obviously has a few choice words to say about it, its distrespectful. she says his plan is working and he replies with “why thank you keith…i like to keep you in character” once again, erasing her existence. now im not as well versed in this particular topic, but id like you to keep in mind that he talks to his princess with that mouth, and that she IS the princess and not a fill in while keith leads. feel free to elaborate on this more. 


     coran “fires “ team voltron. 

this. i find extremely entertaining. remember that legal trouble last year bc of the leaks? and right around that time the klance shipper started threatening them if they didn’t make it gayer and put keith and lance together? the  fandom, who wanted all of this to happen their way, were threatening to get it cancelled and such just because things didnt go their way. shiro, the leader, disagreed with coran and tries to shut him down. and coran in fit of rage says:

you’re a bunch of quitters! quitters! i’m a visionary! i have thoughts, ideas, i dont need you anyway. ill rewrite the show, get rid of the whole lot of you, replace you with new paladins! and the show will be better than ever before!…except for you shiro, ill never get rid of you, you’re our most popular character!

this is essentially what the fandom was saying. now, was this definitely their plan, to call us out with this bit, in not sure, but honestly, its almost too coincidental.

the writers have made it clear that they heard us, and have always been listening. and really, thats why i love ep4. you’re angry because you know you got called out but haven’t admitted it to yourself. the writers do their best to bring us the best show possible, but they cant satisfy everyone. why cant we just be happy about Actual Meme ™ Matt, and look forward to season five instead of fighting them because we got our shit handed right back to us. weve gotten a  taste of our own medicine, so chill. i enjoy them keeping us on our toes, surprising us with every turn, theyre great writers.who cares if one or two things pissed you off? we both know youre not gonna stop watching.

strict parents survival guide!!

okay, so i know how y'all feel. if you’re always that one friend that has to cancel every plan just cuz you know ya mom is gonna say no, or you can’t go be out past 7, i gotchu😭i have some of the best tips and shit on how to sneak out, lie, etc if your parents are super controlling.

SNEAKING OUT //

doors;
• twist the knob and pull up on it as hard as you can to minimize the noise it makes

• if you have a creaky door, FIX THAT SHIT BEFORE YOU SNEAK OUT. nothing is worse than it being 11 pm and you’re opening your door and waking everyone up. fixing it during the day is best.
• opening the door fast (but controlled) makes less noise (in some cases. test it out in the morning).

• DO NOT GO THROUGH YOUR MAIN DOOR. it’s really noticeable. if you have a window, take the screen out (you can usually easily pull out the little screws) and go through there. take a back door or go through the yard, whatever it closest to you and not something your parents will wake up to go pee and notice is different.

• leave the door exactly as you found it. if it was cracked, leave it cracked.

pets;
• your main goal is to shut them up. you do not want them barking or running around when you’re trying to leave. i have 2 fat ass cats that sleep in my room, and they’re always trying to run out when i open my door, and i live with four dogs. give them treats if you have to keep them quiet.

• avoid them as much as you can. try not to cross their paths, or your cover might be blown.

noise;

• wear socks when you sneak out, they help your feet make less noise. i find that crawling on all fours and spreading your body weight on the ground helps.

• if you have hardwood floors, staying on all fours or walking on your toes really slowly helps. even if it takes you all day to make it across the house, at least you’re not making noise 😂😭

• if you know there is creaky stairs/floorboards/etc, avoid them if you can.

parents;
• have an excuse if they catch you up. stay in ya pajamas or whatever you were sleeping in. some good ones are -
- getting a drink
- peeing/etc
- needed to grab an extra blanket
- couldn’t sleep

• make sure you have a backup plan in case they force you back to sleep, especially if you don’t usually wake up during the night it might seem suspicious.

• know what time they wake up and be back at least 45 minutes before then. for example, my dad leaves for work every weekday at 5 am, so i’d have to leave on a weekend or be back before 4:30-ish.

LYING//

• always act natural. if you’re acting weirdly quiet or upbeat or trying to hard, it’s VERY NOTICEABLE that you’re lying.

• make it believable. if you’re not allowed to spend the night at people’s houses, don’t say “i’m going to stacys house for the night” like girl you’re going to get caught tf. if you work, say you have overtime, or if you’re in a sport, say there’s an extra practice.

• be reasonable. if you’re planning on going to ya bfs house all night, don’t just say you’re gonna go eat with your friends 😂

• know ur limits. there’s just sometimes where your lie is unbelievable or times where you just can’t lie your way out of something. stay in these limits.

• have a WHOLE STORY planned out. maybe even 2 or 3 to help out. nothing’s worse than lying to ya mom and then her asking for proof or extra info and you don’t know. if you say you’re gonna be at a friends house, actually go there first. take hella pics in different outfits for whenever you need them and send them to her. hell, my mom made me send pics of my friends cat for proof before 💀

• if you get caught, i feel you girl. just go with ur gut and weasel ur way out of it. say you weren’t thinking, or you felt it was an easier thing to do. apologize and act like a holy child and it’ll help u out.

RELATIONSHIPS//

if you’re not allowed to date or have a bf, i understand you too 😭🤷🏼‍♀️i have a lot of experience with this.

• never ever let your parents think you’re hanging with a guy or give them a reason to. don’t slip up and say their name or anything. keep everything lowkey. say you’re going with a friend.

• for my 16+ girls, if ur gonna do the dirty with your boy, have hella excuses. have backup plans. have good lies prepared for your parents. use protection.

• to conceal hickeys, use a color correcting concealer for whatever color your love bite is, then a regular concealer with some powder and it should be gone. icing it also helps change the color and fade it.

• let your bf know your parents are hella strict. my ex broke up with me bc i didn’t tell him i wasn’t allowed to hang out with anyone like ever. he should understand.

PHONE//

if your parents check your phone/apps/messages, these are some tips that should help.

• ANY pics in your camera roll you wouldn’t want ya mom or dad seeing, screenshot them and put them in your my eyes only on snapchat. lock those up for just yourself or whatever.

• delete sexual/explicit messages you’ve sent OR received. if someone sent u dick pics, put them in my eyes only to expose later, or just delete em 😂😭

• download google photos and transfer all your pics and stuff to there. you can archive them and then your camera roll is 100% pure.

• social media is tough. if your parents check it, make sure it’s clean and appropriate. make a finsta or extra acc for the more private stuff. for snapchat, change that guys name from “big dick #3 🤤” back to his name bro 💀 change any weird names. if they check ur memories (which is wild), move everything to my eyes only and pretend u forgot ur password.

• clear ya search history, or if that’s too noticeable, clear it and then google random shit to fill it up.

i think that’s it for this post, i might make a part 2. good luck to y'all with strict parents, i’m praying for yall ❤️

Death Note (2017)

okay, so I just watched the Death Note movie and damn that shit was

WILD

so im just going to compile some small notes about how bad and how much they fucked Death Note like fuck man

Please Note: there are going to be elements of spoilers in this list so if you are planning on watching Death Note (2017) be aware (but in all honesty please dont watch it just watch the 2006 Anime Adaptation I beg you, I am doing you a solid)

lets begin

  • ok so first off, this shit is americanised so of course there is a buttload of whitewashing because if you didnt know Death Note is Japanese and set in Japan and the characters are Japanese - please. 
  • Light Yagami is a good boy™ so like how dare you make this shitty bad boy - hes doing other peoples homework please no
  • the Death Note lands right next to him - um no the Death Note lands 10 feet away from Yagami and outside his classroom stop this
  • also it starts raining right after he picks up the Death Note - spoooky
  • white!light finds some bullys who are obviously over school age and so he pulls the child abuse card on them if they were to hit him - he gets decked anyway. 
  • he gets caught with the homework and put into detention and oh no the light went out - creepy factor™ to the max - so spooked 
  • oh yeah, did i mention that this film is rated an 18 
  • so of course theres been swearing and cursing from everyone, even Light - sorry not my Light 
  • best part of the film was white!light shitting himself when he see Ryuk like yes 10/10 A++ content would watch that scene again
  • white!light also slaps himself and i wanted him to do it more 
  • theres more swearing, i mean i had to settle in for a wild ride with fucks and shits throughout this whole film, but like the anime was only a 15 
  • also Willem Dafoe as Ryuks voice was pretty cool, had a nice ring to it but anyway 
  • he goes to kill older bully because Ryuk says he wants to (obviously hes hesitant) but cant 
  • legit words from the film “i dont have a pen” Ryuk pulls out a pen “well its good you have one” im yeLLING
  • he writes older bully guys name down but oh no, Ryuk tells him to write down how so guess what 
  • HE CHOOSES DECAPITATION IM SERIOUS YALL THIS IS HIS FIRST KILL NO HESITATION JUST WRITES DOWN DECAPITATION LIKE WHO FUCKEN WROTE THIS 
  • FUCKEN GORE TO THE MAX YOU SEE THIS GUYS HEAD BE FUCKEN RIPPED FROM HIS BODY BY A TRAGIC ACCIDENT LIKE FUCK 
  • by this point i was already like #NotMyDeathNote i mean 
  • dad is introduced, but where is mother and sister - ill tell you where - non existant (mum is dead and there was never any sister) 
  • MORE SWEARING >:(
  • theres still apples tho and Ryuk still loves them 
  • white!light reads the Death Note rules (well he actually skims them but okay) 
  • comes across some scribble and sees a not “dont trust Ryuk”
  • HE PRONOUNCES IT RYE-UK NO LIE IM LIKE HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU NO ITS RYUK PRONOUNCED REE-UK FUCK YOU
  • its okay tho because Ryuk comes out and shuts him down with the correct pronunciation like yas bitch you tell him 
  • ALSO LET ME LOOK AT MY MAIN MAN STOP PUTTING HIM IN THE DARKNESS LET ME SEE HIS FACE NOT JUST HIS EYES 
  • Ryuk suggests shark attacks on the toilet as a not possible example of death - Ryuk i thought you were better than this 
  • angry scribbling of names - damn white!light is mad 
  • AND ANOTHER THING WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE HEART ATTACKS LIKE HE JUST KEPT SPECIFYING THE DEATHS - NO THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS YOU DONT NEED TO JUST KEEP WRITING THESE SHITTY DEATHS
  • you get one look at Ryuk and damn, my man you ugly im sorry they did you like that
  • okay back at school, watching the team practice and guess what 
  • HES GOT THE DEATH NOTE AND HES READING IT IN THE OPEN IN PUBLIC - BITCH PUT IT THE FUCK AWAY
  • OH BUT WAIT A GIRL SEES HIM - SHE NOTICES IT AND IS LIKE “oo Death Note whats that” AND HES LIKE “nah its nothing™” 
  • BUT IT GETS BETTER 
  • HE TELLS HER ABOUT IT AND LETS HER READ IT AND SHOWS HER HOW IT WORKS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON - MY LIGHT WOULD NEVER DO THIS 
  • I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THIS CHICK IS BUT APPARENTLY HE DOES AND SHE KNOWS HIM SO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO WRONG - WHO IS SHE?!?!?!
  • so new girl who im sure is supposed to be Misa Misa says to white!light “lets change the world together” and so these words obviously go straight to white!lights dick because theres sexual tension in the air
  • “can i kiss you?” “youre not suppose to ask” 
  • she just fucken pins him to the wall shes making him her bitch and theyre kissing ugh my eyes hurt 
  • cut back to school and they in class and they looking at each other like they fucked 
  • then theres more kissing like fucking straight white movie romances am i right 
  • theyre finding a name for the God who will rule the new world
  • of course its Kira like what else is it going to be
  • “Kira means light in celtic” and then quickly “also its similar to the word killer in Japanese” like damn bitch i wonder why you quickly said that - oh yeah because Death Note is actUALLY JAPANESE 
  • im so fucjing done with this film 
  • but now the death victims are leaving perfectly written Japanese messages on the walls like this doesnt mAKE UP FOR YOUR SHITTY WHITEWASHING
  • news time: white boy feels special for getting lots of praise and attention for killing bad guys 
  • were suddenly in Japan in a night/strip club 
  • hooded guy is introduced - hes speaks Japanese - finally we are saved by the Japanese guy who I assume is L
  • nope L is not Japanese just speaks it just like in the anime 
  • white!light is suddenly angry as detective dad for getting on the Kira case like damn what is your damage 
  • Watari is here but he is not cute and kind looking like in the anime, i am disappointed 
  • white!lights dad talks to L on the laptop - but wheres the garbled voice???????
  • L is introdu–
  • L IS BLACK, I REPEAT L IS BLACK - ARREST THAT WHITE BOY BECOME POWERFUL WE ARE SAVED 
  • “rest your glutes” - true words from L. a real line in a real fim 
  • movie!L is just as good and cute as anime!L 
  • nope wait, he actually appears in public himself instead of a decoy - im sorry but i cant have this - not my L
  • he might have had his face covered and hooded but still - not my L 
  • WHITE!LIGHT IS RUDE - HE TALKS TO RYUK LIKE SHIT - TELLS HIM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP HOW DARE YOU I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM FOR THAT ALONE
  • finally found out Misa Misa replacements name 
  • its Mia
  • some cops walked off a building 
  • i kind of stopped taking as many notes by this point i was just not paying attention 
  • “if you fuck this were not the good guys anymore” - what part of killing people, be they bad or not, makes you the good guys? NONE
  • L and Light meeting in a cafe 
  • L becomes a cat and pushes shit off the table 
  • “youre the one who flew into the sun, im just the one to make sure you actually burn” - yooOOOOOOO L rekt u 
  • white!lights dad dares to be killed - Mia thinks about doing it but white!light stops her - she gets dumped 
  • she begs for him back 
  • she pulls out the i love you card 
  • it works because of course it would and theyre kissing again - like fuck no bitch you tried to kill my dad get the fuck out
  • Watari is targeted, his name is written in the book - LEAVE HIM ALONE
  • apparently people can be spared by burning the page with their name on it, what kind of bullshit
  • L is angry, he is so smad 
  • L GETS PINNED AGGRESSIVELY TO A TABLE UNHAND HIM YOU HEATHENS 
  • but another fault that L doesnt really get mad, hes actually a cool cucumber im sorry not my L
  • homecoming dance - really 
  • Mia gives white!light his outfit for it and also a hat with a note saying “i have it” 
  • have what idk
  • Ls old kids home is creepy™
  • white!light is wEARING A TOPHAT TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE WHA THE FUCK 
  • it was a decoy trick wow
  • oh no Wataris page is missing it cant be burned now, WATARI IS GOING TO DIE 
  • Watari dies before he can give white!light Ls real name HA
  • Take my Breath Away by Berlin plays at the dance - beautiful 
  • oh damn Mia actally outsmarts and FCUKS white!light - she wrote his name in the Death Note 
  • nope wait shes going to burn the page to bring him back fucking
  • she still fucked him over tho
  • L is still smad, but now hes got a gun and hes stolen a cop car 
  • theres a mangled L theme going on i swear
  • smashes through a “drive slow, drive safe” sign - good one L 
  • L finds white!light and chases him on foot
  • L IS RUNNING I REPEAT L IS RUNNING 
  • PARKOUR 
  • L IS DOWN AND OUT COLD IM 
  • now white!light has the gun
  • news flash: white boy is having regrets but white girl is living it 
  • its sad™
  • OH DAMN HE FUCKED HER OVER BACK IM YELLING
  • theyre on a ferris wheel and then it collapses spontaneously 
  • oh no white boy is having major regret about everything what a shame 
  • bye Mia, bye white!light 
  • oop Mia is dead 
  • L is okay 
  • white!light is in the water 
  • some random sees the washed up Death Note and picks it up 
  • white!light is in hospital - the random returns the Death Note to him
  •  memories of dead girlfriend™
  • father just now realised that his son is Kira
  • WHITE BOY SET THE WHOLE FUCKING THING UP - HE TELLS HIS DAD EVERYTHING LIKE FUCK HE MIGHT BE WHITE BUT HE FUCKING SMART 
  • L is still smad but now he had good hard evidence and proof of Kira
  • Ryuk is laughing and says that humans are interesting 
  • and then get this 
  • IT FUCING ENDS 
  • WHITE!LIGHT LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES AND LIKE IM JUST LIKE THIS IS NOT RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK NO PUT IT RIGHT FUCKING KILL HIM YOU COWARDS AND LET L LIVE 
  • but its okay because there are “funny bloopers” in the end credits 
  • more mangled L theme
  • im now watching the original 2006 anime and all is well 
  • Death Note 2017 whats that?