i lose everything!

The Poems of Cyril Hurk

The trial was like solemn music.
Queen Mary lay in her coffin, like
Black cloth rumpled. I was purple.
Hurt eyes made no purchase. The
Jury saw my soul and spotted it.
I had decided to witness justice,
But the fading made me feel accused.
I lose everything. Shall. You were
In the opposite gallery, disapproving
Of my nosegay and my straw hat.
They knocked down the defendants.
I made a note of their names. You
Smirked about their fate. They were
Pretty boys caught annoying each other.
I felt like their lonely brother, with a sisterly
Soul. I wanted you to march across the
Court and take my hand and take me from
This just understood misprision. I sighed.
The prison visits I made, were all in honour
Of my lost love for you. I kissed the lads’ hands.
Grandly, I proposed. Where were you now?
Silence. No courting. No love. Only bars.

Have you ever wanted to erase the past so badly that you’d be okay with losing your memory altogether?
—  another-broken-hello

thinking about things

This hands down has to be my favorite picture of JB. He is serving Happiness, Joy, and Heavenly angel  all wrapped up in Handsome Beauty and I am left in awe.

The first person I lost was my lover…
I cried for 165 days in a row and the first day I didn’t, I felt guilty; as if suffering somehow equated to love and the fact that I hadn’t cried meant I didn’t miss them enough and I never deserved them in the first place…
The next person I lost was my friend… Things happened… things went wrong… It felt like my whole life was falling apart and when all I wanted to do was turn to my best friend… I realized they were gone…
After that I lost my soulmate because I honestly think I lost a part of my soul. I’m not the same person anymore, a part of me is missing and I know I’ll never get it back…
And one day when I’m ready… I will lose one more person to the distant past… One day… I will lose the ghost of those three people.
The spectre I see sitting across from me at empty café tables, the one I turn to face at the punchline of every joke, and one I reach for in the within vast emptiness inside myself. One day that ever present shadow will fade away forever like the rest… but not yet. I‘m not ready to let that last echo fade… I’m still trying to reconcile the loss of the other three because they were all so much to lose…
And I lost them all within a single person.
—  Ranata Suzuki   “All the people I’ve lost”
fibro!tsuna stopped giving a fuck years ago tbh
  • reborn: i see. you have a crush on that girl, don't you?
  • tsuna: well, yes. everyone does. kyouko is amazing. she's lovely. she's wonderful. she's very kind. she's-
  • kyouko: tsuna you're going to embarrass me at this rate.
  • tsuna: no one said you had to eavesdrop on us.
  • kyouko: i wasn't! you were talking very loudly!
  • tsuna: kyouko, my maximum volume is an indoor voice.
  • kyouko: and i was right around the corner.
  • tsuna: you were eavesdropping
  • kyouko: was not
  • tsuna: was too
  • kyouko: not!
  • tsuna: too!!
  • reborn:
  • reborn, putting his gun away: tch
  • ...
  • classmate: hey dame-tsuna, what's up?
  • tsuna: i feel dead is what's up
  • classmate: geez, do you ever NOT feel tired? you always have to bring it up? will you ever STOP?
  • tsuna: that's not what i meant
  • classmate: well what DID you mean?
  • tsuna, bags under eyes, bedridden hair, rumpled clothes, looks intensely sleep deprived: very literally dead
  • classmate:
  • classmate: uh, maybe go back to sleep
  • tsuna: i have a sign that says 'That's Not How It Works, Helen', and i'm going to hit you with it
  • classmate: my name isn't hele-
  • tsuna: *hits him with it*
  • ...
  • mochida: sawada!!
  • tsuna: oh god no
  • kyouko: sigh
  • mochida: i challenge you to a duel for kyouko-chan's honor!!
  • kyouko: my honor is just fine, mochida-senpai
  • mochida: i- what? but-
  • tsuna: what have you got planned this time, senpai
  • mochida: that's- that's right! accept your fate like a man! i challenge you....
  • mochida: to TIC TAC TOE!
  • mochida: best 2 out of 3.
  • tsuna:
  • tsuna: sure
  • mochida: YES-
  • tsuna: if someone's willing to write my marks on the paper for me since i can't hold a pencil today
  • kyouko: *disappears*
  • everyone around them: *crickets chirping*
  • tsuna: welp. looks like your idea's another dud. try again next time
  • mochida, anguished: WHY MUST YOU BE LIKE THIS
  • ...
  • reborn: he does that every week?
  • tsuna: what? no. he does that every other day.
  • reborn: why don't you just accept his challenge and be done with it? i saw you hold something this morning
  • tsuna: yes, but then i wouldn't get to piss him off every other day of the week
  • tsuna: it's funny seeing a senpai so huffy, haha
  • reborn:
  • reborn: aren't you too old to be subscribing to the idea of making fun of people you like
  • tsuna: haha what, what are you talking about
  • reborn: i see.
  • reborn: you have a crush on that boy too, don't you
  • tsuna:
  • reborn: tsuna, the bell rang, it's time to get to class
  • reborn: tsuna?
  • reborn: tsuna you just got to campus you can't go home alrea
  • ...
  • tsuna, rolling around in bed: noooooo this can't be
  • reborn: tsuna
  • tsuna: i don't like him! i don't! not at all!
  • tsuna: he makes fun of me! he's trying to fight me! he likes KYOUKO!!
  • tsuna: i can't possibly like him! he's, like, my rival! for kyouko!
  • tsuna: not that i'm going to fight anyone for kyouko, i don't think she'd appreciate that
  • tsuna: i mean i can't fight anyway so the point is moot
  • reborn: tsuna
  • tsuna: I DON'T LIKE HIM!!
  • reborn: you're going to fall off the bed
  • tsuna: *falls off*
  • reborn: tsuna
  • tsuna, sobbing into hands: why didn't i see it sooner
  • reborn:
  • tsuna, whispering into hands: he's so full of energy..........
  • reborn: you must be very conflicted and in a lot of pain
  • tsuna, already feeling bruises forming: ow........

someone: make a decision

me: 

JUST IMAGINE HARRY BEING IN SLYTHERIN.

Imagine what would have happened if Draco introduced himself differently. Imagine Harry becoming acquaintances with Draco. Imagine them sitting together in a compartment because seeing as Harry was new to the Wizarding World, Draco decided to stick around as a guide. Imagine throwing Hermione into that mix and BAM new Golden Trio.

Imagine Harry not having stereotypes placed into his head. Imagine him allowing the hat to put him in Slytherin. Imagine Draco carefully guiding him through everything.

Imagine Harry slowly developing feelings for his best friend and house mate. Imagine him just gazing longingly when Draco’s back was turned and scowling because of the sheer stupidity of all the blood purity drama that surrounded said boy. Imagine Harry luring Draco out of that mindset.

Imagine Draco silently harbouring feelings for Harry. Imagine them just rough housing in their dorm room and they suddenly stop and their gazes lock and they lean in for a kiss. Imagine Draco defying his father because he finally found acceptance and happiness in Harry.

Now, I will stop imagining and just throw myself off of a cliff because tHINGS COULD HAVE GONE SO DIFFERENTLY.