i look like one of the village people

Things my kid has said while playing Minecraft

(in slightly demonic voice): I am your master CHICKENS! I - AM - YOUR - MASTER!

I need to throw more ocelots at people

Kiddo: Look! I’ve created a pen where I keep all my animals!

Me: That’s nice

Kiddo: (fills pen with lava)

Me: …

I have a floor completely devoted to cats but is it enough?

I like blowing stuff up in Minecraft! It’s like being one of the mythbusters only less science

I meant to feed the cat and instead I threw an ocelot into the lava

You can never have too much lava protecting your palace of doom

You can never have to many cats inside of your doom palace

Kiddo: I’m creating a village! Full of people!

Me: (suspiciously) Are you planning to murder all of your villagers?

Kiddo: No!



Kiddo: Well not right away!


As a parent I feel like I should be concerned

  personallokime:Hi I was wondering if I could have a mphfpc Enoch imagine where the reader has a peculiarity like Enoch’s and theyre dating then one day they go to the village and reader gets hit on?  Enoch jealous and shows reader their his?  Could it be a smut plz    


I Can’t do smut but I can do a little naughty fluff . I hope that’s okay.

Enoch kept a firm grip on your hand as the two of you wandered down the main of the town and watched the people bustle around you.

You swung your arm with his and looked up into he spring sky, letting the warmth of the sun linger on your face.

“I wish every day could be like this.” You sighed and Enoch shrugged.

“Don’t you think you’d get bored of it?”

Looking up at him and the way the sun shined on him you grinned. “Not at all”

From behind you, you heard the buzz of bicycle wheels and wisely stepped out of the way only to jump about a foot in the air and give out a sudden shriek when a force sharply hit your backside.

In a second you watched the cyclist, a youngish man, eyeing you as he passed with a cheeky grin.

“Pig!” You shouted after him with your face burning and Enoch’s grip tightened on your hand slightly before he released you and bent down to scoop it a sharp looking rock.

“Enoch don…”

You didn’t get to finish before the rock went flying and struck the rider in the back of the head, making him wobble and collapse in surprise.

“Enoch! Don’t!” You bellowed as Enoch ran towards the grounded rider and loomed over him like a menacing demon.

“Oi! What was that for?” The man growled and pulled himself to his feet with a hand clasped over his head where the rock hit him.

“I ought to be asking you the same.” Enoch stepped forward, easily just as tall of the man.

The stranger blinked in confusion before looking past Enoch to you. “I was just appreciating the view” He snickered and Enoch’s fists rose to his collar and gripped his lapels hard as if to shake him.

“Enoch!” You intervened quickly and pulled him off the stranger. “Just let him be” 

Enoch eyed the man and then you before letting him go and backing off. You took his hand and ran off before a crowd could form and made for the edge of the town then beyond the limits.

Your run slowed to a stop to catch your breath before turning to Enoch.

“What was that?” You growled. “You could have really hurt him.”

Enoch shrugged, not really caring.

“You want to tell me what happened back there?” You crossed your arms. Enoch shifted slightly before slowly moving closer to you.

“I…thought maybe he’d hurt you.” He confessed but a shake of your head said you weren’t buying it.

“Try again.”

With a sigh Enoch put an arm around your waist. “Well, maybe I just don’t like people touching what’s mine.”

“Yours?” You laughed but played along. “and what is yours?”

“Well” He sniffed and his hand traveled down your back. “This is mine, and these are mine…” He trailed his hands to your thighs, making you breathe sharply. 

One hand moved up to your face and cupped your cheek firmly, one thumb pressing against your lips. “And this is mine.”

Caught in the silence of the woods and the tension between the two of you, you finally threw yourself onto him pressing him against a tree trunk firmly.

“No” you growled. “This is mine.”

Snowy Night

This is my @inusecretsanta for Stef @emiliaclaerkes. You wanted tension on inukag first Christmas traveling alone. Here you go and I really hope you like this! Merry (late) Christmas!

In FF.com and Ao3 if you prefer :D 


Snowy Night

Inuyasha ran through the snow looking for somewhere to spend the night, with Kagome perched securely on his back. The trip was supposed to be a fast one. In order to check on a rumor of a wild animal around a village that apparently was too much for the people living there, and come back for a “Christmas” family dinner. But on their way back the skies had rapidly turned black and snow started to fall, effectively ruining their plans.

At the beginning she had wanted to keep walking on her own, but after the third time she slipped, or rather after the third time he had to catch her before falling, he offered his back, maybe he had pulled her to his back, he had been fast and efficient about it, and without a word he sprinted looking for somewhere to stay the night.

But right now they were moving rapidly through the snow, for Inuyasha every passing moment without finding shelter counted. The snow was messing with his sense of smell; normally he could smell the moss in a cave from afar, along with the animals that might be there, but now he could barely smell the trees that surrounded him.

A low frustrated growl erupted from his chest. The cold was his biggest concern. Kagome carried food enough for a day or two, if he didn’t eat part of it. He just needed to find something fast.

He could feel her small but fast trembles as her body tried to keep warm. He couldn’t suppress the snarl that came out of him.

Keep reading

Newb Guide pt1: Getting Started

I figure a bunch of people are probably still joining and you should learn from my mistakes. SO! In this we’re gonna go over villagers and the best way to use them your first few days. The siege is over for the most part so things are different for you than they were for us.

Step 0: Set up your account.

Step 1: Create your first villager. Take your time and look through all the options. The art is BEAUTIFUL and you should definitely appreciate it. Pick one you will like because you can’t change it. You can abandon them and make a new one immediately but idky you’d do that. You CAN change their gender/marker/name whenever you want as far as I know so if you change your mind and want them to be a demi-boy later instead of a andronys or whatever else your heart desires you can!

Step 1.5: Do not buy anything for this first guide unless I put it in here. You will not need anything until later and you can work on other classes.

Step 2: You’re gonna be taken to a screen that looks like this

these are the careers. Oh look you can be a tailor I wanna be a tailor xazz-


You do not want to be a tailor. You want to be an explorer. That is the only way to get started. Your first villager absolutely MUST be an explorer to get started. Your villagers can have a total of FOUR different careers and can change those careers once a day.

Do NOT pick warrior right now. Warriors are currently broken and aren’t super useful. Also the more warriors the more likely the towns are going to be under siege because of how the game calculates if the town is defended. For now it is best if you have ZERO WARRIORS. 

You can be warrior or a doctor or tailor later. For now pick explorer.

Step 3: You start off with 500 FC and one villager slow. Use that FC and buy the next slot. The first slot is exactly 500 FC. You will make more, trust me. Make your second villager, make them an explorer as well. Gather on both of those villagers.

Step 3.5: Right now while the towns are no longer under attack you will get 20 gathers PER villager an HOUR. You get 50 gathers an hour total so you only need 2 explorers to get the most out of hourly gathering without losing gathering turns.

Step 4: Grind for a few hours to get materials. Sell all of the materials you get that are not rare/super rare. Trust me you will have more than enough of the common/uncommon ones.

Step 5: Once you get 1.5k (which should not take too long with 40 gathers an hour) buy your third villager slot. Now things will be slowing down some. Make your 3rd villager and pick their first career to be herbalist. If you have no seeds just wait an hour to gather to get some.

Step 6: On your herbalist plant your field full of the same type of plant. Herbology works on a percentage per plant species and you will fail several times. A full field and a row is usually enough to reach 100% on the seed. Also use common seeds first, it will let you get through the easy ones first and give your explorers time to gather uncommon/rare seeds. 

Step 6.5: Common seeds take 30 minutes to grow. Uncommons take an hour, rares 2 hours and I think super rares are 4 hours?

Step 7: Continue planting and exploring and gathering money. You should not have to sell things from your inventory at this time. You should just be focused on amassing as much stuff as possible. The more you gather the more stuff your explorers will come back with and they will come back with rarer things as well. Do not buy or sell anything and if your villagers become sick use the free clinic to cure them. YOUR VILLAGER CAN ONLY HAVE ONE DISEASE AT A TIME AND THEY DO NOT STACK.

Step 8: So now you have a lot of stuff and probably a lot of money. Or at least some money. Once you have 5k (easier if selling from your inventory but this game is a long play) buy your forth (and so far last) FC villager slot. You can now chose between a construction worker, or a doctor. They can also be duel purpose if you want. Personally I would go construction worker.

Step 9a: If you chose a construction worker, if you have enough wood (150) BUILD A NEW HOUSE. It takes 5 hours and like 500 FC. After 5 hours you can immediately open up villager slot 5 with NO COST. Construction workers are also good because they can make your herbalist new pots from 10 wood, which speeds up plant mastery and thus you can grow more plants and help your doctor sooner. YOUR FIFTH VILLAGER SHOULD BE YOUR DOCTOR.

Step 9b: If you chose a doctor then go to the village clinic and buy all the remedies and a couple of bottles. You will never have to buy the recipes again for that villager. Now see what you can make and just start crafting whatever you can. Potency starts low but you gain 5% potency each time you craft it. Unlike the herbalist there is no chance of failure to get the 5%. Once it is crafted it automatically gains 5% potency. Your herbalist should have enough stock to let you brew enough remedies by now. Your doctor is critical to keeping your pets healthy and able to gather and farm at top quantity because you get only one free clinic visit a day. This is especially important once you get into fighting.

At some point one of your villagers, I would suggest one of your explorers, needs to switch to construction so they can build a house for you. Then that villager can take the place of the explorer you just lost by making it construction for the day. You can chose to change it back later but right now that isn’t important. It IS important to keep seed flow coming in and making sure your herbalist is harvesting what he/she/they can.

Step 10: That’s it for the start up and as far as I’ve gotten. I have my own 5 villagers and this is the better way I would do it than what I have already. I know people are struggling and amazed I have 5 as it is; this is how I did it. 


a lot of the villagers in bijou are ones people normally don’t have in their town (with maybe the exception of deirdre and zucker) but i’m learning to love all of them. 

No..Mr. Officer… I don’t think I am above the law…..

But I can be under the Law if you wish…

(•_•)  …..   ( •_•)>⌐■-■  …..  (⌐■_■)

Inktober..I decided to literally try it with just ink.

I forgot how permanent that shit is..my hand shakes bad w/the anxiety of it..

I want Law to be a police officer for Halloween ლ(´ڡ`ლ)


snuggle-kitten-bear  asked:

Can I ask Mikey why he tries to sneak people past Leo?

Prince Michael: You mean besides the fact that it pisses my brother off? 

*he snickers* Leo is so uptight and cautious of everything.  He thinks that is what will make him a great king one day.  So it’s fun to annoy him a bit.  If I can get someone in and they are out before he hears of it, my mission has been accomplished. Ha!

But, I like to make exchanges.  If I help a few of the commoners sneak in, I expect they will help me move about their villages freely. 

*he looks up dramatically*

I wanna be…where the people are….

“All we wanted to know was who the bad guys were. But nobody knew. We were getting picked off one by one and we couldn’t find the bad guys. Some guy who was helping you during the day might kill you at night. The enemy didn’t wear uniforms. Far more innocent people got hurt than anyone else. It wasn’t malicious. It was just legitimately confusing situations. When you’re driving to a meeting and a car bomb explodes, suddenly every car looks like a bomb. And you’re surrounded by cars. And anybody could have a suicide vest. And you’re surrounded by people. It was threat overload. And it was mentally exhausting. One day we were driving to a small village to pick up a young Iraqi boy. We were going to fly him to the US for a rare heart surgery. And I’m in the back of the convoy doing rear security. And this woman in a burqa starts walking toward me. And I’m shouting in Arabic for her to stop, but she keeps coming. And I can see she’s carrying something. She’s clutching something inside her burqa. And she won’t stop. And I keep trying to wave her away. I’m screaming at her and pointing my gun but she keeps coming closer. And I’m thinking that I have to kill her because she has a bomb. I have to do it. And I switch off my safety, and I’m just about to pull the trigger, and suddenly she opens up her burqa. And there’s a baby inside.”



(EDITED: I added more shit because they’re idiots)

I’m just going to dissolve into a corner now.

“Theres room for me! I can fit one butt cheek.”


“I’m going to disassemble her body and put the pieces back in the box.”

“Okay you do that, Hannibal.”

“I’m going to rename you Craig.” 

“My imaginary friend ax murdered her family.”

“I’ll try not to stab myself on accident.”

“We should build a village for short people.”

“This is a visual representation of my soul.”

“My spirit animal is a turtle on a skateboard.”

“This place looks like something you’d see on Supernatural.“

“We’re going to eat our food and get murdered by demons.”

“My backpack is my locker now.”

“Have you seen Satan?”

“Can I have a jar of pickles for my birthday?”

“I never thought I’d get burned by a pickle.”

“Can I borrow your phone so I can instagram this?”

“You’re just going to make me punch myself in the face!”

“It smells like stale biscuits in here.”

“Touch my stuff and you go to jail. Giant waffle jail.”

“I picked up my skateboard and was ready to fight.”

“I don’t want to see Harry Styles pregnant with Louis’ baby.”

“We read fanfiction, nothing can scare us.”

“Are you really going to duct tape me to a wall?”

“The fried food killed me.”


“Homecoming? More like ‘time to get drunk’.”

“I really would sell you to Satan for one corn chip, though.”

“T-mobile? More like T-maybe.”

“I’ll put this fake tattoo on my butt, just watch me.”

“Can we get a hamster that crawls up people’s legs?”

“I never call anyone by their actual names.”

“Forget the North Star, if you’re ever lost, just head towards IHop.“

“That was a very pointless story, thanks for telling it to me.”

“You’re not a scaredy cat, YOU’RE A WUSSY.”



“You’re not cute, you look like a chicken wing.”


“Every time you talk we look at you like you’re an idiot.”

“I’m going to duck tape your hands and feet together.”

“Excuse me while I genderbend.”

“You’re so horrible that you make the rest of us seem like saints.”

“IS HE DEAD? I THINK HE’S DEAD. No wait its okay, he’s alive. False alarm.”

“Why do you keep calling her/him your friend? She/He hates you.”


“I’m not normal, I’m evil.”

“I can’t do backwards pushups, I can’t bend like that.”

“I’ve seen some really sketchy stuff in my life.”

“I used a ouiji once, Satan told me when I was going to break up with my boyfriend/girlfriend.”

“Are you combing your eyebrows with a razor?”

“I will kill you and hide your body in the river.”

“Hashtag reasons why people hate you.”

“Hashtag you’re ugly.”


“You weren’t born with a butt.”

“Its now illegal to breathe, I’m sorry but now you have to die.”

“I punched the carpet and got stuck.”

I uploaded a scenery drawing a week ago and since people seemed to like it a lot,I decided to do some new ones since that one was quite old.

I decided to portray three of my favourite acnl towns like I said here!

The third and last town is Fateside’s Fateside!

This town is my number 1 fav because I got into foresty towns right after I visited its dream address a few months ago. I know Fateside’s been renovated (it looks awesome) but this little autumn village will always be in my heart <3

I took inspo from this screenshot by the owner!

4th January 2017

What a perfect day.

Made up for yesterday’s tourist fails by getting out early this morning. I walked down to Rockefeller Centre and Times Square; I wandered round Hell’s Kitchen and the Theatre District. I picked up a few souvenirs and popped into Macy’s, at the request of my Mother, to pick up some GREEN Bourjois mascara. Got laughed off the park, obviously. Cheers Ma.

I made it to the Natural History Museum too. Didn’t see a park ranger that looked like Robin Williams so that was quite annoying but I got loads of goofy selfies with stuffed animals.

One last leisurely stroll through Central Park afterwards. I must admit, in between taking in all of the beautiful scenery and people watching, I can’t stop chuckling to myself about last night’s horrible feels with Rosenblum, the terrible Tinder date. I’ve actively avoided seeing anyone for the general lifespan of this blog and a lot of that is to do with the village mentality that goes with living anywhere in Scotland. Particularly Dundee. Six degrees of separation? Try two at most.

Maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world. Meeting a really strange man in an unfamiliar place and having a really awkward date perpetuates that. Common ground can be a good thing. A shared sense of humour helps, as does an understanding that alcohol is fun and Egyptian music is a turn off. If a guy even remotely pulled that shite back home, they would be swiftly told where to stick their CD.

Central Park ruminations eh?

#giveadamn #dontgiveadamn #newyorknewyork #lifecoaching

Kylo’s personal interests

When Phasma asks Kylo what do do with the villagers, he tells her to kill them, but when he sees Finn 10sec later disobeying the order and not firing the blaster, he just ignores it and lets him go.

Originally posted by crimsonlippedbeast

It’s like he let Finn go because no one was looking… Is it just me or does Kylo only do terrible things when his ‘First Order people’ are watching? I have a feeling if Phasma hadn’t asked that question, he himself never would have ordered that slaughter. He commited the biggest crimes ONLY when his people/ stromtroopers were watching (Lor San Teka, Han Solo).

Why doesn’t he punish Finn? Why doesn’t he want to use the weapon to destroy planets (twice)???

Who is actually Kylo Ren and what is his plan?

Originally posted by beamlyus


This is not something I would usually post, but how interesting is it when tradition is incorporated in fashion? I would say a lot! The first three pictures in the photo set are from a fashion show in which a designer from Croatia made wedding dresses inspired by traditional clothes and techniques from the part of the country she is from. The result is beyond gorgeous. The other pictures are of some of the traditional garments that inspired her. When I was younger, I used to think our culture was boring and unattractive, but the more I look at it, the more I like it. In such a small country as Croatia is, every single village had different types of outfits their people wore, different patterns, different jewelry to compliment them. Even people who lived in remote islands had their own traditional garments. They all had in common one thing: they were very colorful. Flowers seemed to be inspiration in many of the dresses that our women wore. Looking at old pictures, flower crowns were not an uncommon thing to be worn on dances as weddings, and they would vary in everything, including the size that went from small to big. Cultures are interesting, man.


Pairing: (eventual) Sam Winchester x Reader
Reader Gender: Female
Request: No
Warning: mentions of theft
Word Count: 1,189
A/N: Remember that Cinderella AU I promised years ago? Here it is, I hope you enjoy it. And if anyone want to make me a better header for this I;d greatly appreciate it.

The town square was packed with merchants, craftsmen, and people from outside the village who were looking to get their goods cheap. It wasn’t a bad idea, but more often than not they left with their pockets significantly lighter than when they arrived. Though not from buying villager’s goods but from pickpockets like Y/N.

Y/N, certainly not the youngest pick-pocket in the village, but she was the best. She was swift, hardly ever being seen by guards or merchants; her touch light as a feather, no one ever knew she’d taken from their pockets until they emptied them after returning home. She could steal anything, the ring off your finger, the watch from your pocket, the fruit from your stand, and the gold from your pocket. It wasn’t the most honest way to make a living, but it got food on the table. So with her hood pulled over her head she ventured into the square.

Keep reading


Polio Week at site in Tsarasambo, Madagascar has been my favorite week as a Peace Corps Volunteer so far. I hiked for miles all over with very hard working Community Health Workers to distribute the polio vaccine to every child in the area. We crossed little bamboo bridges over deep and muddy rice fields. We climbed up and down hills and even took a few canoes on the river to get from one little village to the next. 

Everyone I met along the way was so wonderful and kind. I tried to calm scared kids as a trained worker dropped the edible vaccine into their mouths. I played with snot covered kids as their parents prepared coffee for us. Then we would sit in the shade drinking coffee and coconut water, chatting away in Malagasy. I even convinced some people to try mixing coconut water and coffee. They thought it was crazy, but if Starbucks does it, it must be cool!

As the week continued, smiling villagers gave me odd fruits and coconuts as gifts. The coconuts were kind of heavy and hard to carry back while walking up and down muddy hills, but like I say “don’t look a gift coconut in the nuts.” Generally people who live here have to carry much heavier things, and usually the roads are rougher to walk on and slippery because of rain, so I can’t complain! Even when people here have what seems like so little, they are always willing to open their homes to strangers and to share and give. It’s a wonderful thing. 

I met a woman who was cleaning fish from nets made of leaves and I helped pull out a few prawns. I also watched as another woman skinned cinnamon off of the branches it grows on so she could leave it in the sun to dry. There were men going around from village to village fumigating the huts to kill mosquitoes and prevent Malaria. We would stop to chat along the way when we weren’t suffocating from the fumes! 

The scenery surrounding my site is incredible -rolling hills, banana trees, palm trees, cows milling everywhere, rice fields spanning as far as the eye can see, and a calm river highway right alongside the trails. I never knew what was coming next (I never do in Madagascar), but I just went with the flow and followed along. It was a beautiful adventure.   

The exercise and exploring was nice, but the best part by far was spending time with so many Malagasy people whom I will be working with as I continue to do health projects in their villages during my service. 

Sambatra. (Malagasy for “#blessed”).


From the very first chapter, Sasuke has been my favorite character. I was still 12 yo and enchanted by his handsomeness.
Look at his blue clothes! I love blue, so it makes him cooler than others. He is also smart. I like everything about him.

Then, I was a little bit sad bcs he became lost in the darkness.
Maybe most people think he is cruel bcs he he left his village just to get revenge and tried to kill his best friends.

Yes, he was a villain.

But I still like him.

He lost his family he loves the most. He had to live alone with lots of hatred, knowing his only one brother had killed his clan.
He cried.
He hated.
He suffered.
Everyone was born in their on way. Sasuke is a stubborn Uchiha, not like Itachi or Shisui.
So, he closed his heart.

But people can make a change for their life.
He saw a light that his best friends gave.
The light that could realise his stupid brain and melt his frozen heart.
The light that guide him into the fact, that we can’t change the past. We live for the future.

He ended up protect his village.

Yes, he is a hero.

Now, he is a husband of the strongest woman in Konoha. The woman who loves him from the deepest heart since forever. They have a baddas daughter.

His dreams comes true. He had restored his clan by having a daughter. Hm, could you two make another one or two? One is not enough, I think. Haha.

He also has sacrificed his left arm to make this change by reject Tsunade’s offer.

Maybe he will say these words in his mind,
“People may fall into the darkness if they close their heart. Tbh, they only need love and to be loved. Bcs love changes everything.”

See, Sasuke is not bad as you think😊

Happy Birthday Sasuke Uchiha!❤🎉🎊
お誕生日おめでとう, うちはサスケ!!

My best friend still hates him a little bit bcs of his past.
But, are people that perfect? No.
Past is doesn’t matter for me. What matter is what you are doing now:p

I want to read a short story about that one Hogsmeade resident who, once a month, looks out the window and sees a stag, a “Grim,” a wolf, and a rat just casually strolling down High Street. But whenever he tries to tell the other villagers about it, they’re just like, “… can you hear yourself? None of what you just said makes any sense. Why would a wolf and a rat be friends?”

So this person becomes the equivalent of that overeager kid trying to catch Santa delivering presents on Christmas. He maybe convinces a couple more people and they have all these meetings where they try to come up with all these crazy theories about what the story is behind this incredibly strange once-monthly friendship is. Someone suggests that, given that it only happens on full moons, it’s possibly a werewolf, but no one is willing to get close enough to check. And why would a stag be friends with a werewolf? The only concrete thing they figure out is that it’s probably related to Hogwarts, because the foursome never shows up over the summer.

But then, September 1978 goes by without the animals ever appearing, and they’re never seen again, leaving the mystery forever unsolved.