i look like a tomatoe ok

  • Wade: If you're on the sun, sun-dried tomatoes are just tomatoes.
  • Peter: Wouldn't they just be dried tomatoes, because they're still not normal tomatoes?
  • Wade: Ok so I just Googled this and turns out there aren't any tomatoes on the sun so it looks like we're both wrong, but more importantly you're wrong
Naked Birds - Tim Drake x Reader

Summary : You are Tim’s girlfriend, and today, you play some strip poker with the batboys…(Tim is a bit older than he is currently in the comics, like he’s around 19 or something).

for @gobydana, hope you’ll like it (I’m always stressed the people who requested things are gonna be like : “that’s shit”) : 

Here’s my master list by the way : http://ellana-ravenwood.tumblr.com/masterlist

__________________________________________________

It was a Saturday afternoon on a rainy day when everything happened, when you gain your boyfriend’s older brothers’ respect. And also embarrassed them more than they ever been embarrassed in their lives. 

Dick, Jason, Tim and you were spending some times altogether, getting to know each other, as in five years of relationship with Tim, you never really had time to hang out with his family (busy people). 

Bruce was at work, Alfred had a day off, and Damian was hanging out with some friends (which was so rare that no one dared to tell him to stay to spent the day with you guys). 

-No Jason, we  are NOT playing strip poker right now. 

-But I’m bored and a movie is…

-I said we’re not ! 

-Why nooooowwwt ? 

-Because it’s only you, Dick, (Y/N) and I, I don’t need to see my brothers naked. 

-And (Y/N) ?

-We’ve been together for five years, what, you think I never saw her naked ? 

-I never saw her naked. 

-Good.

Jason gives his brother an infuriating smile and, taking some soda cans while Tim takes a giant bowl of pop-corns, they go back to the living room where you and Dick are waiting. 

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:’) aw thank you so much i loved making those

i think i know exactly what you’re trying to say, coming right up!

(also i’m really really sorry this took so long i desperately need a new laptop bc mine is trash and keeps not working well when i try to write)

-mik


SF9 SCENARIO: Them Saving You From A Conversation You Want To Get Out Of

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JIM KIRK/LEONARD “BONES” MCCOY ACADEMY ERA FIC RECS (AOS UNIVERSE)

ok so i am bad at writing rec lists and have just had these bookmarks languishing for a while so i’m throwing them out here. 

basically my fav type of kirk/bones fanfic is the academy era stuff. in my head it’s just grumpy fuck-up space grad school with a lot of medical shit thrown in. i know what i’m about, friends. 

if you have any recs that are not on this list, please send them over. NB: do not link me to switch. i have read a good chunk of switch. it’s very good. i hit a particular trope in it that i find it hard to deal with and don’t know if i will go back to it or not.

anyway. on with the recs.

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beauty guru

“Why is your bag so heavy?” I huffed as I held her backpack in one hand. “I received a lot of new stuff the other week, which I’ve been dying to try out” she explained as she took the bag from my hand and placed it on the floor. “You mean try out on me?” I said with a raised eyebrow. She looked up at me with a cheesy grin, as she crouched down and rummaged through the bag.

She placed every product in a pile on the living room floor. I laid on the sofa, searching through the TV, but watching her every now and again as she read the packaging of things intensely. “Ok Shawn, I’ve got something for you” she said as she held a product in her hands and ventured on her knees to the sofa. She knelt down so she was in line with my face. “What is it?” I asked as I propped myself up on my elbows. “It’s a herbal face mask from Origins it has bit of green tea in it, they do really good stuff” she said as she opened the packet. I glanced down at what was in her hands before she tried to put in on my face. “It looks like dirt, are you sure they didn’t just send you foreign soil?” I laughed as I dodged her touch. “Stop being such a baby, this will be good for you” she sighed as finally managed to reach my face. “Is it gonna make me look like a tomato?” I said as I frowned. “No,” she said as she smudged it across my cheeks. “It’s going to leave your face feeling refreshed and revitalised.”

I rolled my eyes as the smell of green tea filled my nostrils. “Hey, watch it” I sighed as I felt the cold touch of the product land on my collarbone. “Sorry,” (Y/N) giggled as she reached over my face for my right cheek. “You have really small hands,” I said, as her hand took up my view. “Thanks?” (Y/N) said in a voice which suggested she didn’t know whether that was a good thing. “There,” she said as she sat back down and wiped her hands with tissues. “How long do I have to stay like this?” I asked, already wanting to wipe it off. “It says ten minutes,” (Y/N) said as she read the package. “You’re kidding,” I said in a defeated tone. “Oh stop, that’s hardly anything” (Y/N) said as she stood up, placing a kiss on my forehead before retreating back to her pile.

“What other stuff do you have?” I asked, drawing my attention back to the TV as I felt my cheeks begin to tighten slightly. “I’ve got some coconut oil conditioner, lip kits - oh and some false eyelashes” (Y/N) muttered. “I am not testing them out for you, no matter what you do to make me say otherwise” I said, sitting back up on my elbows, feeling a strange sensation on my face as I raised my eyebrows.

(Y/N) threw her head back in laughter. “Last time you made me do that, I swear to god you pulled out more than half of my eyelashes,” I hissed, looking back at the TV. “They grew back eventually,” (Y/N) replied, wiping tears that had left her eyes from laughing. I shook my head, “It’s not good for someone like me. Having to take selfies with fans every single day, and asking them to put on a filter so I don’t look so stupid.” “You’re such a child,” (Y/N) sighed. I pulled out my phone and took a selfie on snapchat. I didn’t use any filters, I wanted everyone to see what (Y/N) was putting me through. I added the caption: ‘I’d drink green tea any day…but put it on my face?’

A couple of minutes later, (Y/N) broke out in laughter as she read through twitter on her phone. “Someone tweeted, ‘Why has Shawn got elephant shit on his face?’” she said through giggles. “I told you it looked dodgy,” I sighed, crossing my arms over my bare chest. “How long left?” “About six minutes,” (Y/N) replied. I let out a huge groan, forcing my tight cheeks to break the mould. “Ok, you’re free,” (Y/N) said as the ten minutes came to an end. I leaped from the sofa and hurried to the bathroom, stopping in the door way. “How do I get it off?” I called out. “Massage your skin with water,” (Y/N) replied.

I rubbed my face for a good five minutes until it was completely off, resulting in my face looking red - just like a tomato. “Does your face feel any different?” I heard (Y/N) say from the door. I looked in the reflection of the mirror, “My face feels horrible.” She rolled her eyes as she leaned against the doorframe. I dried my face and wandered over, placing my hands on her waist. “What’s this?” I asked, tracing my thumb across her lips. “It’s a lipstick, do you like it?” she asked, smiling. I nodded before placing a passionate kiss on her lips. “Very much actually,” I whispered, leaning my forehead against hers. She grabbed my chin, “It looks good on you too, it matches the shade of your face.” Before I could respond, she broke from my hold and ran down the hallway seconds before I chased after her.

Moves Like Me

Anon:  Hey! Can you do a Jaehyun scenario where he comes home and he sees you in his shirt and ur like dancing and singing and you didn’t see him so when he speeks you gets really scared and embarresed

Genre: Comedy/Fluff/Intended Smut

Jaehyun x Reader

The air was chilly when you woke up from your deep afternoon slumber. You groggily sat up, rubbing your eyes and looking at the clock that read 6:00 pm. Just enough time to have your tranquil Friday evening without any interruptions from the following day. You stretched your limbs, excited for the evening that awaited you. An evening filled with enough time to accommodate your interests. 

You hopped into a warm shower and let your body relax. Upon opening the closet you saw Jaehyun’s soft clothes hanging next to yours. You smiled at them, suddenly missing him. Before you could stop yourself, your hands reached for the fleecy sweatshirt. It smelled so nice, like the ground on a rainy day. Like the way Jaehyun smelled when he held you close and kissed your cheek. “When are you gonna come home Jae,” you mumbled to yourself, holding the shirt against your chest and then sighing deeply. He was busy with his schedules, as always.But you won’t let that ruin your perfect Friday. After all it only comes once a week. 

The house was quiet, too quiet and the street outside was empty only illuminated by the dazzling streetlights. The view was prepossessing, often leaving you leaning against the rail and staring out into the far away lights, blinking at you occasionally. The distant commotion was like music to your ears, along with the dark sky and pleasing breeze. Jaehyun loved the way the world looked from your window, which was why he always found himself lazying around your place. Away from the noise, away from his life.

You inched towards your laptop, instantly playing soft indie music to lighten up your room. You sat back into your couch and popped open a book but ended up being more engrossed in the music. You slowly got up and put on a pop song and staged yourself, using your remote as a mic. The music propelled your feet as you moved around the room and sang on the top of your lungs, completely unaware of the door opening and then closing.

Jaehyun was startled by the noise that emerged from the living room and hastily made his way through the gallery of the entrance and saw you in extreme lunacy. Your hair was wet but all over the place and your body moved crazily to the beat of the music. Jaehyun leaned against the wall and saw you dancing. You were only wearing his long sweatshirt and underwear. He chuckled at your sexually attractive appearance and the contrast it had with your actions. “Y/N,” he called out, still smirking. You turned around and screamed. You both stood there looking at each other, your face carrying emotions of shock and fear while he had an evil grin on his face. “My sweet Y/N, what are you doing?” He asked playfully, walking towards you. You instantly moved towards the laptop and turned off the music. He held you by the back and hugged you tightly, still laughing. 

“Why are you here,” you asked, flustered and angry. 

“Because I missed you? Do I really need a reason?” He said. You were glad he couldn’t see your face, which was red as a tomato given the embarrassment. He swung you around and you hid your face in his chest, not wanting to look up to him. He was still smiling at you playfully and kissed the top of your head. “That was so cute by the way,” he uttered. You hugged him tightly, wanting to disappear. 

“Just forget it ok,” you mumbled. He shook his head.  

“Why aren’t you like this in bed?” He looked at you disappointed. 

“What do you mean? I’m amazing in bed.”

“Why don’t you show me how amazing you are.” You smacked him as he attempted to grab your ass. You pushed him away and ran to your bedroom, still embarrassed about the events from before. It was going to be a long night.

4

doodle dump yay

I really like Sabrina, but she needs more friends next season.

I applied to the miracuclass zine but i’ve never drawn any of the classmates so!! had to change that, and they’re really!! fun to draw ok!!

max and mylene are the cutest i need to draw them more often

Ok so we know that minegishi didnt even care about plants before their fight with mob but i hc that like after that they really took their time to pay attention to the plants and like how their powers affect them. Like when mob used his powers to grow the cherry tomato after reigen told him to and how it tasted awful. I like to imagine that minegishi would actually look up proper ways to take care of plants and then they would learn to appreciate their plants more. Like why else would they work at a flower shop?? I also like to imagine that they use their powers to help wilting plants only.

((Also hc that whenever minegishi blushes flowers bloom by accident cuz 👀👀👀👀👏👏👏👍👍👍👌👌👌👌))

Exo Reaction To When You Acidentally cut yourself

(Like your cutting tomatoes and you cut your finger, ok?)


Baekhyun:

*Thinks it’s hilarious*

Chanyeol:

*You had baked*

“Jaiya, there’s blood on this one”

Jongdae:

“AAAAAH JONGDAE!”

“wHAT?”

“I’M BLEEDING!”

“I’m coming!!

Jongin:

“Are you okay, honey?..”

“It looked like it hurt..”

Junmyeon:

*mimics you*

“Aaah It hurts!”

“I’m going to die!”

Kyungsoo:

*Hear shit from the kitchen*

“wtf?”

Minseok:

“Do you want a bandaid jagiya?”

Sehun:

*worried*

“..Does it sting?”

“You’re not going to die, right?”

Yixing:

*Kisses and hugs you, healing powers*

(I do not own any of the gif’s, all rights to the rightful owners)

What Did She Ask You When You Were Alone With Her?

Prompt #3 is DONE. Sorry this took so long. I actually wrote a whole other scene and then completely deleted it and rewrote another one but it’s SO much better now. 

I have another one lined up after this and then I’m free for some more, so SEND THEM MY WAY. Thanks for reading! xx

Prompt: I’ve, uh, never done this before so I’m sorry if it’s not something you can work with in regards to story prompts, but. What about Barba introducing you to his mother?

Keep reading

Expanding

Originally posted by superfandomsunited

Characters: Y/n, Sam, Dean, OC Izzie

Pairing: Sam x Y/n (FEMALE READER)

Warnings: Fluffiness!!!! Pure fluffiness and implied future smut.

Word Count: 819

Summary: Y/n takes care of Sam after the mess their daughter created.

A/N: Ok, so, just some random fluff cos I wanna write something short seeing as I’ve done 3 back to back series, and another one starting like tomorrow. Sam this time, cos I just wanna switch it up. So, yea. Hope u like it.

Tagged Peeps: @waywardsons-imagines @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @sallyp-53@malachai-winchester @helvonasche @kaitlynnlovegood @notnaturalanahi @wayward-mirage@riversong-sam @nerdflash @miss-miep @impala-dreamer@mypeopleskillsarerusty0203@greek-geek481 @chelsea072498 @deals-with-demons@plaidstiel-wormstache @impalaimagining@deathtonormalcy56 @scorpiongirl1 @the-latina-trickster

Masterlist


“Dean, just hurry up. I can’t let her see me like this”.

You heard the hushed whisper, walking down the corridor and peering into the kitchen.

You stifled a laugh at the sight of Sam sat in a chair, Dean standing behind him, trying to fix the mess that was his hair.

“Well, why the hell did you do it in the first place?” Dean groaned.

The words quietened, but you made out a ‘shut up, Dean’, before tiptoeing round to the other door and standing behind them both.

You watched Dean struggle for a few minutes before sneaking up behind him, your arms hovering at his sides before digging in to tickle him lightly.

Of course, Dean being Dean, jumped up and began giggling like a moron, falling to the floor as you continued your assault on him.

Eventually, the tears that were running down his face indicated maybe you should stop, especially when he said he was gonna pee his pants.

Helping him up, you kissed his cheek and watched him walk away, leaving you to deal with Sam.

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father and son, master and servant

We will say then, that Quasimodo loved the archdeacon as never a dog, never a horse, never an elephant loved his master. - Notre Dame de Paris, Vol. I, Book IV, Chap II

At the outset, Victor Hugo makes it clear that “although the visage of his adopted father was often clouded or severe, although his speech was habitually curt, harsh, imperious,” Quasimodo loves Frollo in the book. After all, the reasons for Frollo taking in the abandoned Quasimodo were altruistic, if not completely selfless, and he raised Quasimodo as best as he could. Thus stems Quasimodo’s devotion to Frollo, to the extent that if it so pleases Frollo, he will “hurl himself headlong from the summit of Notre-Dame.” This line will be revisited later on.

(enseeseven gave me this prompt to compare the relationship between Quasimodo and Frollo in the novel and that in the movie I hope this is ok! Under Read More for length.)

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look who took the time to do a complete coloured piece >v> also im still worried for these kids 

also I have a love/hate relationship with Yuto’s cloak - shading all those creases 8v8

me, complaining about turnip in the store with my dad
random condescending guy: why don’t you just run for president then
me, looking him dead in the eyes: well apparently you don’t have to be qualified anymore so maybe i will
my dad, with a serious face: i’m with her
and then the guys face got tomato red and he walked away looking like he just shit himself

3

Requested:

“Hey y/n,” Gally said approaching you. You were fixing a trellis in the corner of the gardens. You grinned sheepishly, Gally gave you the creeps lately. He was always trying to come on to you, and it made you quite uncomfortable. He flicked his nose, trying to be smooth like he always did.
“Oh, hi Gally,” you turned back around.
“Lookin’ good today,” he whistled.
“Ya covered in sweat and dirt,” you brushed it off.
“It looks sexy on you.”
“Thank you?” You turned around to grab a hedge clipper but he slammed his arm right next to, growing closer.
A mere inch was the only distance between you and you could feel his hot, steamy breath.
“I was thinking that maybe we could hang out sometime,” he said in a deep voice.
“Um…I’m a little busy…gotta keep up the garden, you know?”
“Surely you don’t have to do that all the time. Come one let’s have a little fun!” He placed a hand on your hip, which made you even more sceeved out.
“Leave her alone!!” A sweet accent called from behind Gally. It was newt. “Get your hand off my girlfriend!”
“Girlfriend?” Gally scoffed turning around and marching up to Newt.
Girlfriend?! You thought. You felt your cheeks flush, and your whole body grew extremely warm. Your head starting getting a little dizzy but you shook it off. You have liked Newt for a long time now, but the only time you talked was about picking ripe tomatoes or figuring out when food would spoil.
“You heard me! If I ever catch you looking at her in anyway shape or form, I will personally feed you to the Grievers. If you ever lay a single finger on her, I will push you off the cliff myself! Do I make myself clear?!”
Gally rolled his eyes and nodded.
“Get lost shuck face! Your lucky I don’t tell Alby.”
Gally sauntered off, not daring to look back, knowing Newt was serious.
“Are you ok?” He said after a few moments of silence.
“Ya, thank you, boyfriend” you teased.
A smile broke on his face, “Well ya, I don’t know but it just came out. Doesn’t mean I want to date you. Im not Gally. I’m sorry if I offended you.” He said defensively, walking away.
“I never said that was a bad thing,” you voice wavered, you were crushed.
“Pardon?” He turned around questioningly.
“I said it wouldn’t be a bad thing…but I guess it would be to you, I get it.”
“To be your boyfriend? Wait, do you like me?” He perked up.
“Ya, I guess.”
“Y/N, I’ve liked you for a while now…”
“Really?”
“Ever since I saw Gally flirting with you for the first time, I couldn’t help but get really jealous…”
“So basically when he opened the box?” You laughed.
“Basically. I have a question.”
“What Newt?”
“Will you be my girlfriend?”

2

I Have A Great Story

Request: Can I have an imagine w/ Kai where he is secretly your boyfriend that no one knows about and he bursts into your normal high school English class to tell you something exciting and all your friends get mad because no one knew about him and who he really is. Thank you so much!

Author’s note: I kinda went back in time for this one. When both you and Kai were in highschool and stuff. Wasn’t sure if you wanted the MF gang as your friends or something else so I hope this is okay :)

Sorry it’s a little short.

Enjoy!

for: fuckwiththis-teenagebeat

————————————————————————————————————————-

Kai-Motherfucking-Parker. A.K.A my boyfriend of over 2 months now.

Of course, no one knew about us. My friends knew I had a boyfriend but I had refused to tell them. How would they react if they knew a sociopathic siphon was my boyfriend?

Kai had reluctantly agreed to keep his mouth shut about our relationship but he kept dropping hints whenever he spoke to any of my friends and I feared he was gonna slip one day.

Right now, I’m in English, bored out of my mind. I knew all the material the Teacher was lecturing us about and her voice was so easy to fall asleep.

I feel my eyelids drooping just as the door to the classroom slams open. I jump and sit straight up, my heart beating fast.

I turn to see who came in and my stomach drops.

It’s Kai.

“What.The.Fuck” I hiss.

“Y/N! You will not believe what just happened!” Kai exclaims, followed by the questions of every other person in the class

“Why is Kai here?”

“Why is he here to see Y/N?”

“I didn’t know they were friends”

“What the fuck?”

“Please tell me he’s not-”

The Teacher was absolutely frozen and just watched as Kai ran to me, leaned over on his elbows and began talking to me.

“So I was in class, ok and this kid threw this paper ball at me and at first I was like- what the hell dude. What’d I do to you? But then I turned around and saw that he was from my uh….Family friends- you know? and he whispered to me this super rude thing. He said ‘Hey freak, don’t touch me. I don’t want my magic getting drained by the likes of you” He whispered that last part to me so no one heard about magic.

I sat there, dumbfounded and eyes wide.

“So then I said “Hey don’t judge me and he just- starts choking you know. I guess I kind of forgot I siphoned some of your magic last night” He continues, giving me a wink at the end.

“So he just keeps on choking and soon there’s blood all over his desk ok. Like a lot of blood and I’m just sitting there thinking….Man- You know ketchup really does NOT look like blood. The texture and color are different- but that’s not the point. Everyone starts screaming and the teacher escorts him to the nurse’s office so we’re all alone in the room now. So that asshole’s sister comes up to me and starts cursing me out and I at this point can’t stop laughing. She’s so red in the face she’s like a tomato”

“Kai, what are you doing here” I hiss at him, through gritted teeth.

“Sh, I’m trying to tell you a story Y/N” He hushes me and I roll my eyes.

“So the Teacher comes back in and obviously doesn’t think I did anything. So she sees this girl yelling and cursing at me and the girl gets detention. So after that I tell her that before the guy started bleeding he was making fun of me and the sister says ‘he wasn’t! He wasn’t pointing out the obvious’. So long story short- They both got detention because of me. Isn’t that great?”

No one quite heard all the magic parts of the story, luckily but everyone DID take notice his hand took hold of mine, as soon as he was close enough to me.

“Kai- I thought we agreed we wouldn’t let anyone know we were-”

“Oh my god! He’s the secret boyfriend!” One of my friends, yell at me.

“What!? No! I mean-” I look over at Kai who has the biggest grin on his face.

“Glad someone figured it out! I was getting real tired of waiting for her to tell you guys” He smiles, standing up and adjusting his jacket.

“Kai!?” I exclaim.

“What Babe? shy?” He asks, making a pouty face at me.

I am then swarmed by my friends, being asked questions and told how angry they are we didn’t tell them.

The teacher is yelling, trying to get everyone to calm down but class is almost over anyway and no one is paying attention to her.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me?”

“I’ve been trying to figure out who it was since you told me you had a boyfriend”

“How come I couldn’t have figured it out sooner?!”

“It makes sense. You guys are always hanging out”

“And let’s not even begin to talk about the looks you give each other”

“Yeah! Like long lost lovers!”
“Oh my god! Have you two had-”

I try reply to all of them but they’re unstoppable. The only thing that saves me from being mobbed is the bell ringing, giving me a chance to run.

As soon as I’m out of the classroom, I feel an arm around my waist.

Kai begins kissing my neck up to my cheek, lovingly.

“It’s so nice to let the cat out of the bag isn’t it?” He whispers in my ear.

I turn to him and smile, deviously.

“I suppose. Doesn’t mean I’m not totally gonna kill you” I threaten, grabbing his face and pulling him into a kiss.

  • Chip: If you're on the sun, sun-dried tomatoes are just tomatoes.
  • Olive: Wouldn't they just be dried tomatoes, because they're still not normal tomatoes?
  • Chip: Ok so I just Googled this and turns out there aren't any tomatoes on the sun so it looks like we're both wrong, but more importantly you're wrong.