i look like a dumb turtle

how 2 name australian animals

where is it (normally like a compass thingy idk what its called)

what is looks like (normally a defining feature)

what is it

examples

eastern blue tongue lizard, northern hairy nosed wombat, central bearded dragon, southern spotted quoll, eastern long neck turtle, southern cassowary (the defining feature is that they are a cassowary), eastern grey kangaroo, western grey kangaroo (some have very similar names with one different word)

My Doomsday

Batman vs. Superman, while certainly having more than its share of flaws, was an okay movie. As bloated and overstuffed as it was, I thought it was alright… except for one monstrous fatal flaw:

DOOMSDAY LOOKED FUCKIN DUMB. They took one of the coolest looking villains in DC Comics and turned him into a bland lump of crap. It’s like the cave troll from Lord of the Rings and the new ninja turtles spawned an ugly bastard child together. Look, I know it’s not the concept artist’s fault. The producers and director are the ones who ask for certain things and have the final call. Hindsight is 20/20, and it’s easy for anybody to say “I could do better.”

But, as Crow T. Robot once said, “I’m hurting, I’ve got to lash out, and we’re gonna see this through to the end.”

So what would I do?

Let me say first, I kinda liked the idea that he started off bland and fetal, and became bigger the more he got injured. Problem is, he never really got much cooler. Even his final form was bland and troll-like. So, during downtime at work, I sketched out my own version of his life cycle.

Stage 1: Straight out of the Kryptonian birth chamber. Lumpy, mutated, fetal. Almost pathetic, with an umbilical cord/like appendage sprouting from the back of his head (reminiscent of Doomsday’s weird ponytail from the comics). Though malformed and immature, he’s still huge and very powerful. His fight with Superman begins.

Stage 2: Doomsday begins to change. Blunt force trauma to the head has caused bony spines and ridges to sprout from his skin in response. He becomes tougher, stronger, and more aggressive. Batman enters the fight.

Stage 3: Doomsday lets loose his eye beams for the first time, blasting away more of his flesh and inducing more jagged spines to erupt. He acquires his signature “spike beard”. The umbilical cord withers away, and his musculature and armor increases exponentially. Wonder Woman enters the fight, and Doomsday’s strength is now nigh-unstoppable. Superman carries him into the low atmosphere, where the military nukes him.

Stage 4: All hope is gone. The nuclear blast provokes Doomsday into his ultimate form. Now a mass of impenetrable armor plating, every inch of his body is a deadly weapon. Even his eyes are protected by ribbed protrusions (again a nod to his original appearance in the comics). Superman’s only chance is to plunge Batman’s Kryptonite spear down Doomsday’s throat, an attack that will cost him his life.

Superman kills Doomsday, Superman dies, then doesn’t really die. Roll credits.

If I had my way, the movie wouldn’t have used Doomsday at all, and saved him as a more climactic villain later down the road. But hey, I don’t work for Warner Brothers, so what do I know? After all, the movie did sooo well and was sooo loved by critics and fans, surely they knew what they were doing.

Bitter? I’m not bitter YOU’RE BITTER

Is it wrong that I’m looking more forward to Michael Bay produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie than the Ghostbusters reboot?

I mean the TMNT movie does look kinda dumb, but at least it looks like it knows that it’s dumb and goofy, and it’s just running with it. Plus, they’re throwing in stuff that most of the fans actually like, so at least it looks like it actually somewhat cares about the franchise they’re representing.

Also, Bay may not be that great of a director or producer, but at he’s not as big of a jerk as Paul Feig.