i look like a drug dealer when i do it :(

My favorite Shady/Illegal tips

*If you don’t have a stamp, reverse your destination and return addresses. The post office will deliver it to the return address for free

*One bag of garbage from a McDonald’s dumpster has hundreds of receipts in it, each of which has a survey. Submit each one for lots of free food

*Holding a cell phone to your ear justifies loitering. This aids in public urination, dumpster diving, stalking, trespassing, etc

*If you’re going to plagiarize, plagiarize something in a foreign language. Use a translator and spend a few minutes touching up the results.

*If they have free refills, save your cup. Next time you eat there, your drink is free.

*A plastic coffee stir stick can fool any push in coin acceptor that loads the coins on edge. Just insert stir stick, push the mechanism forward until you feel the stick hit a bump, push the bump down with the stick and push the mech all the way in

*If you look like you know what you’re doing, no one will bother you.

*When lying, always include something slightly embarrassing, or something that makes you look bad, as part of your story. It’s not only going to disarm their skepticism (admitting to something embarrassing gives an impression of humility), but even if they remain skeptical, they’ll be left wondering why you would make something up that you’d rather keep secret if it were true

*Using Clorox or any bleach will turn the red/pink liquid detection dot on electronic devices back to white so they replace them under warranty

* “A drug dealer in DC taught me to pick my nose if the police are staring at me. No one picks their nose if they think someone is watching them, so it’s the ultimate way of being nonchalant.”

* "I learned that you can get into almost any special event by wearing a chef coat. Even just carrying one and walking like you know where you’re going will work every time. Most people don’t want to look stupid by asking you who you are.“ 

* "My go to missing work call was never "I’m sick”, it was “Family problems”. They never questioned it, it’s vague enough and embarrassing enough that nobody ever asks.“ 

*As part of the employee training at Target, they teach you that if a customer argues over a price, and the full price is under $20, to just give it to them for whatever price they claim. It’s cheaper for the company to move on to the next customer than to call in a price check.

*Put a rolled up sock in the change slot on a vending machine, come back back 4 days later….and pull sock….you will be 6-ish dollars richer.

*If it’s a small lie, like who farted or who put the empty milk carton in the fridge, I’ll tell a terrible lie. I’ll not be able to hold a straight face, contradict myself, basically suck at lying.Now everyone I know thinks I can’t tell a lie to save my life. So when I really need a big lie, I nail it every time. No one ever suspects me when I lie straight faced.

*Bring crutches to an airport. Bypass every line (including boarding) and you are chauffeured to your gate the second you pass through security.

*Make up a secret to share with someone- they may open up and share far more valuable real secrets.

*Here’s a classic. Drive over to your 7/11 of choice. Fill up a Slurpee and drop some candy bars in that bitch. Make sure the candy bars aren’t showing. Cover the Slurpee and pay for it. Free Snickers bitch.

*I tell everyone i’ve never done any drugs. Suddenly everyone offers me cocaine, ecstasy, pot, lsd. I think i’ve had $200 worth of drugs each weekend for free.Same with liquor. "Im not drinking tonight” BOOM! Everyone gives me booze. Its like everyone wants to break your integrity as soon as you tell them you are not doing whatever they are doing.

*If you need to cash from an ATM and its not a large amount, buy a 5 cent piece of gum from a gas station that has the cash back option. Its cheaper than a $3 charge

*Act less intelligent than you really are. Acting stupid can get you out of some tricky situations. Feigning ignorance is way better than admitting you knew better but did it anyway. My old man used to say ‘It is easier to beg forgiveness than ask for permission’…sometimes it’s true.

*Every time I fly, when I land I’ll pen a little complaint to the airline that flew me. You know, I’ll come up with something like “oh, they denied me a drink! Oh, the food wasn’t vegetarian!” Whatever miscellaneous hogwash potpourri comes to my crazy brain. And like clockwork, within a business day, they’re reimbursing me with a $50 voucher, a $100 voucher, I can sell that on the secondary market.

*I’ve always had a lot of success in shutting nosy people up by blaming any personal issue on allergies. Crying from a panic attack? Allergies giving me puffy eyes. What’s that mysterious pill I’m taking? Allergy meds. Why am I acting spaced out/hungover/tired? Allergies meds making me drowsy.

*If you really wanna get away with some shit, buy a reflective vest, a white hard hat, and a clipboard. You can go ANYWHERE.

AU where the Justice League forms like usual, except Batman maintained his “totally a myth” status and has in fact been active for years before the JL forms. He’s very cautious about trusting them, but still joins, and the others sort of accepts that as long as they trust that Batman has a really hard time with trust, it will all work out in its own weird way

Then, one day, in the middle of a JL mission, the League gets in a tight spot. Out of nowhere, this blue and black blur swoops in and saves everyone’s ass. Maybe breaking some shackles that were proving very difficult, maybe disarm a bomb that the League was just a hair’s breadth too slow to reach without help, but whatever happens, the shadowy figure pauses just long enough to say, “Hey, Batman, you know you there are these things called cellphones now and you can just call sometimes, it doesn’t have to be this dramatic?” and bounds away after shouting ‘let’s do brunch! Bring your new friends!’

Batman is mortified.

No one lets it go.

The entire rest of the mission, the whole League is asking so many questions. Who was that? Do you know him? How do you know him? What’s going on? I didn’t know there was a vigilante in this area?? They don’t let up until he talks.

“That was Nightwing.” Batman is mumbling. The JL forces him to bring them to the Brunch. Brunch happens to be in a run-down apartment on the edge of a bad neighborhood, at five in the morning, in costume. Nightwing introduces himself as Batman’s lovechild with justice.

“I did not realize Batman had a child,” Martian Manhunter says, calmly enough that no one’s sure if he’s accidentally plucking a really loud thought out of the air or if he’s trying to make a joke.

Nightwing stares for a moment falling over laughing. He doesn’t get up. Batman starts trying to apply anti-Joker venom but Nightwing just kicks him and laughs until he cries. He keeps trying to wipe his eyes and his mask keeps getting in the way, so he asks everyone to leave so he can please get a hold of himself

He is still laughing when they leave. Everyone is confused. Batman is furious.  Nightwing manages to breathe long enough to say, “We’re just so glad you’re socializing now, Batman.”

Superman turns to look at Batman very slowly. “…’we’?”

Keep reading

Top Misconceptions People Have about Pulp-Era Science Fiction

A lot of people I run into have all kinds of misconceptions about what pulp-era scifi, from the 1920s-1950s, was actually like. 


“Pulp-Era Science Fiction was about optimistic futures.”

Optimistic futures were always, always vastly outnumbered by end of the world stories with mutants, Frankenstein creations that turn against us, murderous robot rebellions, terrifying alien invasions, and atomic horror. People don’t change. Then as now, we were more interested in hearing about how it could all go wrong. 

To quote H.L. Gold, editor of Galaxy Science Fiction, in 1952: 

“Over 90% of stories submitted to Galaxy Science Fiction still nag away at atomic, hydrogen and bacteriological war, the post atomic world, reversion to barbarism, mutant children killed because they have only ten toes and fingers instead of twelve….the temptation is strong to write, ‘look, fellers, the end isn’t here yet.’”

The movie Tomorrowland is a particulary egregious example of this tremendous misconception (and I can’t believe Brad Bird passed on making Force Awakens to make a movie that was 90 minutes of driving through the Florida swamps). In reality, pre-1960s scifi novels trafficked in dread, dystopian futures, and fear. There was simply never a time when optimistic scifi was overrepresented, even the boyish Jules Verne became skeptical of the possibilities of technology all the way at the turn of the century. One of the most famous pulp scifi yarns was Jack Williamson’s The Humanoids, about a race of Borg-like robots who so totally micromanage humans “for our own protection” that they leave us with nothing to do but wait “with folded hands.”


“Pulp scifi often featured muscular, large-chinned, womanizing main characters.”

Here’s the image often used in parodies of pulp scifi: the main character is a big-chinned, ultra-muscular dope in tights who is a compulsive womanizer and talks like Adam West in Batman. Whenever I see this, I think to myself…what exactly is it they’re making fun of?

It’s more normal than you think to find parodies of things that never actually existed. Mystery buffs and historians, for example, can’t find a single straight example of “the Butler did it.” It’s a thing people think is a thing that was never a thing, and another example would be the idea of the “silent film villain” in a mustache and top hat (which there are no straight examples of, either). There are no non-parody examples of Superman changing in a phone booth; he just never did this.

In reality, my favorite description of pulp mag era science fiction heroes is that they are “wisecracking Anglo-Saxon engineers addicted to alcohol and tobacco who like nothing better than to explain things to others that they already know.” The average pulp scifi hero had speech patterns best described as “Mid-Century American Wiseass” than like Adam West or the Lone Ranger. 

The nearest the Spaceman Spiff stereotype came to hitting the mark was with the magazine heroes of the Lensmen and Captain Future, and they’re both nowhere near close. Captain Future was a muscular hero with a chin, but he also had a Captain Picard level desire to use diplomacy first, and believed that most encounters with aliens were only hostile due to misunderstandings and lack of communication (and the story makes him right). He also didn’t seem interested in women, mostly because he had better things to do for the solar system and didn’t have the time for love. The Lensmen, on the other hand, had a ruthless, bloodthirsty streak, and were very much like the “murder machine” Brock Sampson (an attitude somewhat justified by the stakes in their struggle). 


“Pulp Era Scifi were mainly action/adventure stories with good vs. evil.” 

This is a half-truth, since, like so much other genre fiction, scifi has always been sugared up with fight scenes and chases. And there was a period, early in the century, when most scifi followed the Edgar Rice Burroughs model and were basically just Westerns or swashbucklers with different props, ray guns instead of six-shooters. But the key thing to remember is how weird so much of this scifi was, and that science fiction, starting in the mid-1930s, eventually became something other than just adventure stories with different trappings. 

One of my favorite examples of this is A. Bertram Chandler’s story, “Giant-Killer.” The story is about rats on a starship who acquire intelligence due to proximity to the star drive’s radiation, and who set about killing the human crew one by one. Another great example is Eando Binder’s Adam Link stories, told from the point of view of a robot who is held responsible for the death of his creator.

What’s more, one of the best writers to come out of this era is best known for never having truly evil bad guys: Isaac Asimov. His “Caves of Steel,” published in 1953, had no true villains. The Spacers, who we assumed were snobs, only isolated themselves because they had no immunities to the germs of earth.


“Racism was endemic to the pulps.”

It is absolutely true that the pulps reflected the unconscious views of society as a whole at the time, but as typical of history, the reality was usually much more complex than our mental image of the era. For instance, overt racism was usually shown as villainous: in most exploration magazines like Adventure, you can typically play “spot the evil asshole we’re not supposed to like” by seeing who calls the people of India “dirty monkeys” (as in Harold Lamb). 

Street & Smith, the largest of all of the pulp publishers, had a standing rule in the 1920s-1930s to never to use villains who were ethnic minorities because of the fear of spreading race hate by negative portrayals. In fact, in one known case, the villain of Resurrection Day was going to be a Japanese General, but the publisher demanded a revision and he was changed to an American criminal. Try to imagine if a modern-day TV network made a rule that minority groups were not to be depicted as gang bangers or drug dealers, for fear that this would create prejudice when people interact with minority groups in everyday life, and you can see how revolutionary this policy was. It’s a mistake to call this era very enlightened, but it’s also a mistake to say everyone born before 1970 was evil.


“Pulp scifi writers in the early days were indifferent to scientific reality and played fast and loose with science.”

 FALSE.

 This is, by an order of magnitude, the most false item on this list.

In fact, you might say that early science fiction fandom were obsessed with scientific accuracy to the point it was borderline anal retentive. Nearly every single one of the lettercols in Astounding Science Fiction were nitpickers fussing about scientific details. In fact, modern scifi fandom’s grudging tolerance for storytelling necessities like sound in space at the movies, or novels that use “hyperspace” are actually something of a step down from what the culture around scifi was in the 1920s-1950s. Part of it was due to the fact that organized scifi fandom came out of science clubs; Hugo Gernsback created the first scifi pulp magazine as a way to sell electronics and radio equipment to hobbyists, and the “First Fandom” of the 1930s were science enthusiasts who talked science first and the fiction that speculated about it second.

In retrospect, a lot of it was just plain obvious insecurity: in a new medium considered “kid’s stuff,” they wanted to show scifi was plausible, relevant, and something different from “fairy tales.” It’s the same insecure mentality that leads video gamers to repeatedly ask if games are art. You’ve got nothing to prove there, guys, calm down (and take it from a pulp scifi aficionado, the most interesting things are always done in the period when a medium is considered disposable trash). 

One of the best examples was the famous Howard P. Lovecraft, who published “The Shadow out of Time” in the 1936 issue of Astounding. Even though it might be the only thing from that issue that is even remotely reprinted today, the letters page from this issue practically rose up in revolt against this story as not being based on accurate science. Lovecraft was never published in Astounding ever again.

If you ever wanted to find out what Star Wars would be like if they were bigger hardasses about scientific plausibility, check out E.E. Smith’s Lensman series. People expect a big, bold, brassy space opera series with heroes and villains to play fast and loose, but it was shockingly scientifically grounded.

To be fair, science fiction was not a monolith on this. One of the earliest division in science fiction was between the Astounding Science Fiction writers based in New York, who often had engineering and scientific backgrounds and had left-wing (in some cases, literally Communist) politics, and the Amazing Stories writers based in the Midwest, who were usually self taught, and had right-wing, heartland politics. Because the Midwestern writers in Amazing Stories were often self-taught, they had a huge authority problem with science and played as fast and loose as you could get. While this is true, it’s worth noting science fiction fandom absolutely turned on Amazing Stories for this, especially when the writers started dabbling with spiritualism and other weirdness like the Shaver Mystery. And to this day, it’s impossible to find many Amazing Stories tales published elsewhere.

Jungkook Ship Fic Rec 2

Since so many of you asked me for another Kook ship fic rec, here I am! All smut will be bottom Jungkook as always. I’ve gotta admit, it’s really hard to find recently but I’ll pull up as many as I can because I know the feeling of wanting more bottom kook but finding none haha. These will be separated by ship! Oh my god it was so hard to find anything for jikook OTL well to be honest, I don’t know why it was so difficult to find fics this time.

Taekook

Resonance AO3, Oneshot, I already know it’s good because it’s by Rix. AND IT’S SOUL EATER AU. I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE THIS BUT YASSSS. This is actually one of the hottest things I’ve read in awhile. Like O_O wow.

I Just Had Sex (ft. Jungkook) AO3, Oneshot, first time bottoming and Tae is kind of angry because Kook almost missed his bday but things work out. 

Sugar and Spice AO3, Oneshot, Daddy Kink but the love is sooooo real, soft affectionate Kook (I honestly can’t tell who actually has the power anymore between these two). 

Night Winds AO3, Oneshot, Alpha Tae and Beta Kook, they could never work out but they did. 

Suit and Tie AO3, Complete, I’m still not over how good this is, the power struggle of two hot CEO’s, and then the budding cuteness.

I Can Make You (Cry For Me) and Empty Spaces Don’t Talk About It AO3, Complete, Taekookseok with taekook end game, there’s junghope but it’s not as present as Taekook, the second part is ANGST GALORE but it ends well.

Fuck the Rules AFF, Oneshot, Taekook think the new PDA rules are stupid, it’s not exhibitionism in case you were wondering lol.

I’ll be a man (of you, you, you babe) AO3, Oneshot, Tae always bails Kook out of arranged dates.

After School AO3, Oneshot, canon compliant with Tae at the dorm and Kook at school, this is actually kinda cute at the end lol.

Topsy-Turvy AO3, Ongoing, hate to love, stepbrother au.

The Smell of Peaches AO3, Ongoing, THIS IS SO FREAKING GOOD, abo au, taekook are ex’s but Kook gets his heat and they become friends with benefits but with hidden feelings, and oh my god the angst and smut is A++++++. This is my current obsession lol.

Jikook

it must be fate (or you’re stalking me, who knows) AO3, Oneshot, this was actually quite cute, Jimin is the definition of cutie in the streets and senpai in the sheets (lol I love that tag)

Restrictions and Rewards AO3, Oneshot, Kookie needs the proper motivation. 

See Through (If You Will) AO3, Complete, Mpreg Kook, hurt/comfort, I love the hurt.

Will You Stop Time AO3, Oneshot, Jungkook loved Jimin even if he pushed him away (but he always apologizes at night), the feels were real.

Bloom AO3, Oneshot, First Times, a little bit of angst.

No Strings Attached  AO3, Complete, recently finished camboy Kook au and wow was it good, go read it you won’t regret it. 

In Your Eyes (I’m the Best/I’m the Worst) AO3, Oneshot, fair warning this may or may not be your cup of tea, it’s humiliation kink well more like Jimin legit gets angry at Kook for being a brat all the time and insults him but Kook likes it (?), if you don’t like this kind of stuff, don’t read it. 

power struggle AO3, Oneshot, Omega Kook and Alpha Jimin, i really really love the jealous hurt/comfort.

Becoming Bad AFF, Ongoing, Subscribers Only, Jimin the bad boy taints Innocent Jungkook.

Don’t Hesitate Any Longer AO3, Oneshot, Adult Ceremony dance practice into something more, hyung kink. 

Every Morning (and Night) is Perfect With You That Christmas Evening Eros and Perfectly Imperfect AO3, Oneshot, yes shameless self-promotion but all of them are legit just bottom kook smut with feelings and tiny bit of plot.

Animal House AFF, Ongoing, Members-Only, Jungkook is the bunny cop that meets Fox Jimin, they room together and feelings develop but there’s something evil going on.

The Way You Move It (I Can’t Believe It) AO3, Oneshot, Jungkook is failing his Cha Cha class because his hips are stiff, Jimin shows him how to sway those hips and maybe more.

One Page Pornography Ch. 28 AO3, Oneshot, I was honestly craving hurt/comfort Jikook plus smut and dang did this provide. I loved the angst and it hurt so so good all the way up until Jimin comforted him and then the phone sex and actual sex was A+.

Kookiemonster

Golden Boy AO3, Complete, VOLLEYBALL AU, also angst and smut (hot smut) but angst, it’s a wild ride. 

House Made of Cards AO3, Oneshot, you’d think it’s just smut but wow the underlying emotion is whew.

Got Me Baited and Bruised AO3, Oneshot, Awkward flirting guys lol.

Junghope

I’ll Give You Love (You Wanted Nothing) AO3, Oneshot, Junghope discuss marriage and I love the written dynamic here. 

There and Back Again AO3, Oneshot, okay this is really cute, college au.

While You Were Sleeping AO3, Oneshot, Kook has a wet dream and Hobi takes care of it for him while he’s asleep, totally consensual, this it pretty hot. 

Joke AO3, Oneshot, Kook is a complete brat to Hobi (because he’s an extreme tsundere) and Hobi shows him that he is very capable of fucking Jungkook up. 

Sugakookie

Bittersweet AO3, Complete, this was a smut/angst ride too, darker themes but wow it’s good, mafia au. 

Sweet Baby Boy AO3, Oneshot, yup just pure smut indulgence.

Tied Up AO3, Complete, I suggest you read the whole series by Rosiex.

White Lines, Pretty Baby AO3, Oneshot, Yoongi is Kook’s boss (well he’s a drug dealer) and they develop an unconventional relationship. 

Good Boy, Baby Boy AO3, Oneshot, Daddy kink, lace panties, you get the idea.

Pretty Boy  AO3, Oneshot, Daddy kink, crossdressing, Kook tries to prove that he’s not pretty using shock factor but it doesn’t really work out.

Whenever You Smile (I Smile) AO3, Oneshot, Hogwarts au, I love this, it was so cute and gahhhh it’s a great example of how fluffy sugakookie can be. 

Mingling AO3, Complete, Werewolf Kookie meets ancient vampire Yoongi that’s actually a huge flirt.

The Assistant AO3, Complete, I honestly love this so much because it’s not just an interesting au with good smut, but the depth of the feelings. It’s a really healthy relationship between Sugakookie of course but also Kook and Jimin’s friendship. 

Jinkook

You’re So Beautiful That I’m Scared AO3, Oneshot, indulgent smut with light dom/sub undertones, soft feelings. 

So Nice and So Cool (So Good and So Hot) AO3, Oneshot, Seokjin the TA accidentally fucks one of his students

JungkookxEveryone

Pastel AO3, Ongoing, I think you all know this one by now but just in case you don’t, Kookie likes feeling pretty and he likes being taken care of, his hyungs find out one by one.

Vminkook

Crushed Lungs AO3, Ongoing, it’s kind of a love triangle but without the whole “i hate you” thing which I like. 

Yoonkookseok

a sleepless night again today AO3, Ongoing, I love this ot3 and the relationships are developing right now but it already looks amazing. 

Jihopekook 

Accidentally Right There AO3, Ongoing, this does have jihope with bottom!Jimin but it explores Jungkook’s one-sided love (it really isn’t that unrequited) and the hurt/comfort is great, Jungkookie is a sub and he wants to be loved, I just really love it okay?

Jikookiemonster

oh baby (what’re you doing to me?) AO3, Complete, there’s a big of angst because unrequited love and stuff but then Jimin and Joon take care of him and the FEELS.

Yoonjinkook

Loving You (Is Not a Mistake) AO3, Oneshot, this is really really good and what I’ve been craving, Valentine’s Day but it’s different, hurt/comfort and oh god the Yoonjinkook ot3ness was amazing.

I Play To Win AO3, Oneshot, Alpha!Yoongi/Omega!Seokjin/Alpha!Jungkook, they all play Overwatch and Kookie sets his eyes on Yoongi (who basically hates him at first lol). I love the clash between fiery explosive Yoongi and Tease of the Century Tsundere Jungkook but things work out because you have Seokjin the peacemaker. Basically Yoongi fucks the submission into Kook.

Yup, this is all I could find for now so happy reading? I’ll update this when there’s more fics. HERE is the first fic rec I did in case you missed some of these. 

ch. 1

Bad Habits || Jaebum

Originally posted by jjaenyoung

(THIS GIF IS SO HOT LIKE !!!!!!)

Reader (you) x Jaebum

Word Count: 1398

Warnings: none :)

note: i re-wrote this chapter i think 12321 times and idk if i’m completely satisfied with it BUT HERE IT IS! THE FIRST CHAPTER OF MAFIA!JB. hope you guys enjoy it and yeah…. happy reading and take care! -admin


Nighttime had always been the time when the demons came out to play; to bring out the worst in some people.Others may describe the night as downtown being lit up by the neon colors of the clubs and bars, shining on the rain-kissed sidewalks. However, in the night, I could be anybody and no-one would care who I really was.

My heels clicked on the sidewalk as I pulled my jacket closer to my body. As I passed by people, I observed their cheerful behavior and smiled. It reminded me of home of when I used to hang around my friends, laughing my head off like how these people were. However, moving to Korea alone was the result of my smile fading away. I wish I had friends here who I could go out with at night to bond over a drinks or share stories of our past. But all of them were at home and I was alone.

Keep reading

Molly got her happy ending

I see a lot of posts saying Molly Hooper deserved better, poor Molly or Molly is such a weak character. Really, are they all watching the same show. So here I am trying my best to negate them.

I think she is the strongest and  the most badass character on the show.  You don’t need to be a consulting detective, an ex-army man, an ex- super agent, the British Government, a DI, the widow of a drug dealer or a dominatrix to be considered badass.  Look at our sweet pathologist Molly, she dated and dumped Jim Moriarty (the Consulting Criminal) and she was so freaking  casual about it.

She wasn’t scared or worried even after knowing who Jim really is, and can we please talk about how she casually calls him “Jim” , whereas every other character addresses him by his full name or Moriarty as they are all a bit scared of him. It’s still a bit unclear as to why Jim let her walk away unscathed even after “she ended it” (my Molliarty shipper heart has its own reasons though). Anyway this is just one of the instances to show that Molly is neither a weak nor a timid character. 

Now coming to the ILY scene, a lot of wonderful meta is already written about it but I would like to add my two cents to it. Firstly, I think Jim Moriarty is the one who told Eurus about Molly because the Jim we all know ( come on he’s a genius) would take into consideration the various possibilities regarding The Fall. He would have considered the  possibility of Sherlock going to Molly for help, as he knows Molly loves Sherlock and  would help him regardless of what people say.  I think Jim always planned for Molly to be a part of The final Problem. Anyway coming back to the ILY scene, I don’t know if this was deliberately done by the writers or not but there is an important thing we tend to miss.  John “ I see but I don’t observe” Watson thinks the coffin is for Adler and Mycroft “ I’m the smart one” Holmes  thinks the coffin is for somebody who loves Sherlock, both of them are wrong because the person who is in the coffin doesn’t write their own epitaph or the engraving “I Love you”. It’s the person who buries them, in this case it’s Sherlock who has to bury Molly if she dies, who writes the epitaph. So the whole point of the scene is to get Sherlock to admit his feelings and say the words to Molly. He most definitely means it when he says it the second time because that is the look of realization of a man who has fallen in love for the first time.

Molly deserves to have her love and feelings returned by the man she’s always loved and that is exactly what happened in TFP.  Even Loo Brealey in a recent interview said “ After playing Molly for seven years it was great to do her justice and give her a good send-off if it is the end…” I think this means Molly got her happy ending and we all know what her happy ending is and more importantly with whom.  So I don’t understand from where this ‘Molly deserves better’ posts are coming from.

My point being Molly got her happy ending and there is no need to take pity on her or call her weak. Thank you very much

So You Want to Write About Witches and Magick: Some Advice

Hi everyone; hope today is going well for you! Today, I’m going to be talking about witchcraft and magick in fiction from the angle of writing it. I realize many witches (including myself) have a burning desire to see more realistic portrayals of magick and the Craft, and there’s no better way to go about it than for us to take pen to paper ourselves! 

This short series of tips is designed for those who want to write a story with characters who practice magick in a more realistic fashion than seen in novels like Harry Potter. That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with Harry Potter, of course, but there’s room in the genre of magick for realism, too! Hence, why I’m writing this. I’ll be using examples both from my own writing and from novels I enjoyed that featured realistic magick.

Why write realistic magical fiction?

So, why a realistic portrayal of magick? Obviously, most novels and stories that feature magick are of the fireballs-and-glowing-spells variety, and not very realistic at all. That makes for good reading, too, but more realistic portrayals also have a place insofar as they’re incredibly unique and interesting! Why not stand out from the crowd a bit? 

It’s also worth noting that most witches, I think, if given the choice, would prefer to read something more realistic fiction-wise over an equally well-written fantastic portrayal. I know I would, and I feel like it’s important for magical practitioners as a community to write and create their own magical narratives, providing role models and other hallmarks of good media. 

There’s also the not-so-small matter of how magick actually operates in the real world. I don’t know about you, but my Craft is intensely personal, and exploring it (or a character’s equivalent) in fiction makes for strong characterization. Furthermore, real-life magick is more nuanced than just “she throws fireballs,” and is bound to entice your fellow witch readers who love subtlety and delight in detail.

So, those are some reasons I, as a witch, would like to read (and write!) more realistic portrayals of magick in fiction. How do we do it, though? What sorts of tips can be offered? Let’s begin by discussing the hallmark (I think, anyways) of excellent stories - characterization! How do you create compelling witch characters and interesting magicians? 

Characterization

The first important thing to note is that, as you no doubt know, witches and magicians are an incredibly diverse lot. Witchcraft in and of itself is only one of many magical styles, and others exist, including things like conjure and ceremonial techniques. 

Within many broad categories, you find a wealth of smaller traditions. What kind of magick does your character practice? Sweep, by Cate Tiernan mixes real magick with fantasy, and in that series, most of the characters are Wiccan, but participate in a variety of different styles of magick, ranging from herbal casting to spirit work. Realize, too, that your character will probably work with a variety of techniques, so keep that in mind, as well!

Secondly, ask yourself what your characters believe. How do they conceptualize their magical experiences? Do they believe in a deity or worship a godform, such as the Wiccan goddess or an older pagan deity? Are they Christian? Jewish? Taoist? Views on how magick works and why are as diverse as practitioners themselves, so you need to consider what sort of paradigm your characters are working and living within, as well as why. 

I want to note that I’d be careful writing about practices that are foreign to you (the writer). If you know nothing about Christianity, don’t make your character a Christian, for example, unless you’re willing to do a lot of research to create a sensitive portrayal. As to myself, I’ve experimented with a lot of magical paradigms (such as chaos magick and Thelema) and I tend to draw from those when I write. 

I’ve had characters who were Wiccan, chaotes, and Thelemites in past works. It’s usually best to write what you know. Don’t feel as if your story needs to be full of characters from many different paths or religions to be realistic. Such a story would be realistic, but there’s nothing technically unrealistic about, for example, a story focused solely on chaos magick. Err on the side of caution here to avoid inaccurate or trite portrayals of actual practices. Again, write what you know.

One thing worth avoiding is stories where the main character or characters discover they’re the “chosen ones” and realize a great destiny. I suggest avoiding it because it has become relatively cliche in fiction as a whole, but also because it’s unrealistic in the world of realistic magick. It’s tacitly conceivable that someone might somehow find themselves in such a position, but very cliche in fiction. 

Mostly, it’s unrealistic because magick rarely works that way, and while that shows my own bias (I don’t believe in destiny as such), I’d avoid it just for the cliche factor. I’ll admit in one of my stories I did feature a character who was the reincarnation of a famous folk hero and had a certain “special destiny.” This was a very low-level thing and didn’t feature everyone treating them differently because of it. It was also balanced out with other characters having similar situations, thus making the “special” character relatively ordinary.

One of the benefits of writing more realistic magical fiction is that characters can literally be anyone. There’s no need for them to have been raised by arcane wizards in a windswept castle, because, in real life, witches and magicians come from all walks of life. We could be your neighbor, or a friend. The most important thing is that you work out what your character does magically, why, and what they believe about it. This is, of course, in addition to normal guidelines for good characterization.

Plots and Telling a Good Story

Now, let’s talk about plots? What makes a plot suitable for realistic magick? What plots don’t work within this genre? Which are cliche? Let’s dive in.

Since the keyword here is “realism,” plots can be taken easily from real world experiences and inspiration. Just like me and other real-life witches, witches or magicians in realistic stories will have normal, everyday hardships and joys, and you can explore this. That approach is, in my opinion, much more interesting than just focusing on the magick itself. A story where magick is the main driving force of the plot is rarely going to work well; something else must be there to drive the magick instead! 

As an example, I’m currently working on a short story called Curse Your Local Heroin Dealer. It’s gritty and very much a NSFW thing, but it features a coven of folk witches who find themselves at odds with local drug dealers who’re literally poisoning the community. The main conflict has no real magical aspect; rather, magick is a tool used to solve problems for the characters. It also draws a lot from my experiences living for a while in an area with a serious heroin epidemic, and I think it’s turning out to be a compelling and meaningful story.

As another example, look at the Circle of Three series by Isobel Bird. In those stories, the three main characters are burgeoning Wiccan witches. While magick is present, it isn’t a means to an end itself. The girls deal with all the normal struggles of high school students, but face them with a magical twists. Plots include relationship drama, dealing with the death of loved ones, and local mysteries. All of the stories could conceivably have been written without magick, but adding magick creates depth and shifts the story into interesting territory.

In particular, avoid situations where magick is the sole solution to the character’s problems. Just as, in real life, a witch can’t wave a wand and fix a problem, your characters shouldn’t be able to just do a spell and have their world set aright. Instead, the magick can be a vehicle for them moving forward, but also cause for introspection and character development. This is done particularly well in the Witches Chillers series, where the main character’s social awkwardness is underscored by her feeling less adept magically than her peers.

Building a World

A few notes on worldbuilding: you wouldn’t think it necessary when you’re going for realism, but it absolutely is. Anytime you have witches and magicians in a story, they’re going to interact with the wider society just as we do in the real world. Pay attention to the way society treats the occult as a source of inspiration. How will characters handle being feared (or laughed at) for their practices? How will they handle the increasing fascination of society? 

Another thing to consider is magical social structures in the story. Will your character belong to a magical Order, secret society, or coven? In most cases, it’s a bad idea to use real-life organizations in a story. Instead, you should invent your own fictional ones. This isn’t difficult, because you can crib a bit from real life, just not too much. In one of my stories, I created a secret society similar to (but distinct from) the Ordo Templi Orientis as a backdrop for a story about a character’s struggle with depression and how it affects their magick. In other stories, I’ve written about fictional covens and traditions of magick.

Finally, as a last tip, do not slander real paths or traditions for the sake of creating a villain. It won’t be believable if you do it, and will, furthermore, anger people. Why do that? It’s pointless to create a villain who’s a super-scary LaVeyan Satanist, because five minutes of research will tell your readers that LaVeyan Satanism isn’t all that frightening, let alone evil. 

I avoid this in my stories mostly by creating traditions and paths out of whole cloth for the antagonists. The villains in one story I’ve been working on, for example, worship an egregore that takes the form of rat, but doesn’t exist in real life. Another option is to just make the antagonist’s path or tradition irrelevant to their villainous activities, but that can be difficult to do well. In short, try not to play to stereotypes about occult traditions, and don’t slander large (or small) swathes of the community in the name of a villain.

I hope this was helpful and inspirational for budding magical writers out there! There is so much potential in this genre, and I would love to see more of it. If you’ve favorite stories that use this approach, do share them with me, so I can enjoy them, too. If you, yourself, have written any realistic magical fiction, why not share it? I know I look forward to reading more in this genre!

I’ve always differentiated whale daddies as

  • Real Estate/Property moguls
  • Hedge Fund Managers/Asset Managers/Investment managers, Managers in fucking general lol
  • Investors, shareholders
  • Chief executives, partners, chairmen and directors
  • Restaurateurs
  • Engineers/ Tech Tycoons
  • Athletes
  • Musicians
  • Fashion designers/ Artists/ Gallery Owners/ Retail shop owners
  • Entrepreneurs and established business men
  • Lawyers & Doctors
  • African & Arab tycoons
  • Aristocracy/royalty
  • Politicians
  • Actors/directors/film stars ( Show Biz)
  • Illegal ( Drug Lords, Mafias etc,Majorie Harvey notoriously dated two drug dealers before marrying Steve- I ain’t encouraging nothin )

Types of ladies

Models/ Actresses/Beauty queens/Presenters

Lingerie, print or runway models(or women who look like them) can often be the desire of wealthy men. There’s something inherently ego-boosting to some about people able to say they’ve dated a woman in a magazine or on TV! Almost as if they’ve captured a rare pokemon or something. I guess it is how some girls get delighted when they say “I’m dating a whale”. 
Business women

I love the phrase “business women”  because it is such a multifaceted term. Anyone can be one whether you are a makeup artist to the stars or venture capitalists. Business women are able to attend exclusive events and conferences!

Society women/ IT girls

Women in the right circles who are able to enter into exclusive events, galas, resorts, leisure activities, country clubs and elite parties.

Bombshells/ Trophies

The Evelyn Lozada types, who have made a career out of hustling & gold digging. They could also be society women depending on their social stature. They sometimes accompany one type of guy in a single industry for instance only athletes or mostly men in oil.

Students

Knowing that you’re working towards something is important to some daddies.

Jet Setters

Ladies who have made it their business to be at all the hot spots at all times. They are in Ibiza during the summer, London during the fall and St Barth’s for Christmas. They are always in the baddest clubs & high class venues.

Career women

Career women whether they be air hostesses,strippers or junior analysts can often encounter potential. 

Places to meet

Online

We all know about SA, Sugardaddie, Tinder & Luxe

This is probably the fastest way to meet daddies, whether it is efficient, it depends on the ladies in question. I love the online method because of the simplicity, you aren’t having to pay $30 admission fee to go to a gallery to get your hustle on!

Social media can be a  good option if you’re smart and saavy.  Instagram & snapchat has become a revolutionary way to meet people you otherwise could not!

Bars and Restaurants

Most cities have places of recreating designated for wealthy crowds. In some bars, it is impossible to not see someone famous or excruciatingly wealthy.

Escorting/ Sex work

A handful of wealthy men use our services.

International

We all know about "going to Dubai”. The old age way of securing a Middle Eastern daddy or wealthy clients. Lagos, LA & the French Riviera are places where women congregate to find the daddies of all daddies!

Cocktail Parties

Work

Working where these men work or working for them can be a dangerous game. But  makes sense logically because many whales are workaholics!

Clubs

I used to feel such places where the haunt of new money rich kids & it is. But everyone wants to shake it down everynow & again so clubs are a fun option especially if you’re a regular.

Galleries, Museums & auctions

Wealthy people congregate these places like a church!

Trade shows

This is the haunt of executives & business men.

Gyms

Charity balls & galas

Another place where you are guaranteed to find wealthy men.

Memberships

“ everything from Country Clubs to Yacht Clubs or Hobby Clubs or art clubs”

Sports

“sailing, horseback riding, snow-skiing, tennis, and golf”are often associated with wealthy people. You do not have to play, you can merely attend.

White Tie & Black Tie events

Opera/Theater/Perfoming arts

The best tickets are usually boxes, center orchestra, and grand tier—for opening nights, only—if you want to mix and mingle among the Rich. The Rich want to see the first performance. It is new and fresh. That is also when the critics will be there, as well as any social photographers for the media society photographs - Ginie Sayles



* This is all very simplistic, but it makes it so much easier to delve into the psyche of our targets. See Meet the Rich by Gine Sayles for more :)

“For example, tech savy dude: loves math and computers, he’s an engineer. I start by breaking down the personality, ex: he likes math solving a problem makes him tick.
So i play mysterious and in control. “ - Vanitythynameiswoman

‘’I want to know all of you.’’

A/N: I didn’t intend to continue writing but I got a request I couldn’t turn down. Hope you enjoy! Please note that english is not my first language so there might be grammar mistakes

Pairings: Jughead X Reader

Request: Okay so can you do an imagine based off of episode 8 of Riverdale when Archie asks the group if they knew that Jughead’s dad was a serpent? But let it be that reader was there at the babyshower and it happened (jughead x reader) please. And can there be angst? Not a huge argument but more conversation between jughead and reader about knowing each other well, trust and honesty. Then fluff? I really love your writing by the way! - @senrensaretavirtuemama

Warnings: Mention of drug dealing, nothing we haven’t heard of before

Word count: 1160

Originally posted by netflixuniversity

Jughead ran his sweaty palm over his jean clad thighs, looking around the room as he wondered how he wound up there as weight pushed down on his mind. It wasn’t really his scene, cupcakes and pink banners, Polly’s baby shower. Then he spotted you, and it all felt a little lighter as you walked towards him, beaming at the tray of pastries in his hands. ‘’Thanks for helping out, Juggie.’’ Your voice was soft and for a moment he forgot about the evident encounter he would soon be facing. 

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talk shit, get hit

genre: delinquent!au

star of the show: NCT’s Jaehyun

word count: 3,021 words

author’s note: part of a Johnny/Jaehyun collab with @chipsandwaffles . Go read Johnny’s part here it doesn’t disappoint. 

And remember, Say No to Double J™ 

*explicit language, read at your own discretion*

Originally posted by wonwoosvt

opening line: “Rules are simply restrictions passed down from past generations to limit us from doing what they couldn’t do in their lifetimes.” 

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BambiBaby_666

Summary: You’re a cam girl who ‘somehow’ managed to convince your neighbour Simon and his friend Negan to make a surprise appearance on your cam show, after a night of long drinking of course. A week after the wonderful experience, you decide to watch the show on your own to let off some built-up steam. (Pre-Apocalypse)

Pairing: Negan x Reader x Simon

Word Count: 4,098 (Got carried away, sorry!)

Type: One shot, smut

Warnings: Pre-Apocalypse, unprotected sex, swearing, excessive drinking, explicit smut, voyeurism, masturbation.

Rating: NSFW

Fic Notes: Long passages of italics are flashbacks/memories, block quotes & italics together are what’s happening on screen.

Italics

Block Quotes & italics 

Author’s Notes: Heya, here is my submission for @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash Negan Writing Challenge Round 2! My Prompt was Negan x OC x Simon. I decided to write some awesome smutty three way – are my voyeurism and masturbation kinks showing? For some reason, I was super nervous about this because it was my first time writing with flashbacks ect… Please feel free to give me feedback!

 Masterlist

You lay in bed, laptop resting on a pile of pillows as you scroll through your Tumblr dashboard. The occasional porn gif or image sprouting its head, buried between pictures of cats and the odd aesthetic nature photograph. Your mind wondered to the two people you had been thinking about most the week, Simon and Negan. It had been 1 week since your sensual encounter with them. You hadn’t uttered a word to them since, although there were some sneaky winks and side eyes from Simon’s window that looked onto your balcony – there was never a follow up fuck.

Whether it had been the alcohol that made you instigate the three-way or your dire need to be well and truly fucked, you hadn’t built up the same amount of courage to re-do the wonderful experience. Both Simon and Negan were intimidating in every way possible, and although you always try to come across as confident and in control, those two seemed to steal those traits away from you without even trying.


“Y’know they say drinking alone is an early sign of being a fucking alcoholic.”

Perking up from the hard-wooden chair on your balcony and looking up over the rim of your glass you see Simon’s friend, Negan. He seems to have opened the window of Simon’s apartment that overlooks your small balcony.

“Well, shit. I don’t want that – Guess I need some drinking buddies to downplay this depressing situation?” You yell back, swallowing the rising burp that was in your throat.

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The Front Bottoms song meanings
  • Flashlight: it’s about someone having a hold over you. this is a recurring theme throughout a number of songs on our album. Our favorite line from the song is “I can hear your dog whistle from my bedroom”
  • Maps: This song is pretty self-explanatory. It’s about the idea of not knowing what’s next. Accepting the fact that your life won’t be as comfortable as everyone makes it out to be when you’re younger. It’s about finding out life is a longer road than you had expected. Favorite line: “Let me be a raft on a blue sea I’ll blend right in”
  • Looking Like You Just Woke Up: This was the quickest song we wrote. It happens to also be the shortest on the record. Same idea as from Flashlight - just someone having a hold on you. (One of our good friends fell in love with this girl that still had a boyfriend and so in order to make time with the girl, he hung out a lot with the boyfriend and her. He slowly found out that the girl he thought he loved was kind of a bitch and he found that maybe the one he really loved was her boyfriend. They have somewhat of a romantic relationship now. And they are living together.) The vibe of this song comes from that situation. Favorite Line: “It probably won’t get easier, just easier to hide”
  • Mountain: This song is actually about buying drugs in Pennsylvania. The line was originally “I bought weed. A big bag in Pennsylvania. I’m gonna light it up when I get home to Jersey” We changed it because none of us have bought drugs or smoked ganja. ever. Favorite Line: “They’re gonna ruin my whole summer. Stop taking pictures with your phone. Stop taking pictures with your phone.”
  • Rhode Island: we met a kid at a punk rock festival we played in Rhode Island. He didn’t do much talking and we called him the Zombie Kid because he was passed out in a pile of sticks. The next day when he came out of his coma, he was asking us about directions on the best way to get passed NYC on a bike. His summer plan was to ride from his home in Vermont to Florida. All that he had with him was a backpack full of drugs. No joke. Drugs. Then we shook hands and he went on his way. On that same tour - two months later - one of our last shows were in New York City, and guess who we fucking see? Zombie Kid. Backpack empty. We asked him what happened and he said he made it down to South Carolina and had to turn around and come back. favorite line-“She says you gotta promise not to break not matter how far you are bent, she says you gotta shift my position and try to get comfortable again”
  • The Beers: It’s about the same deal. Someone having a hold over you, so much so that you’d be willing to put yourself in danger, to change yourself in order to make them like you. But the song is all over the place and that’s just a small part of it. Favorite Line: “And it’s an aerial view from your house to my room”
  • Father: I put myself in someone else’s body and I wrote this song about my life.
  • Swimming Pool: The voicemail in the breakdown is from one of our friend’s dads to our friend about some dumb shit about a girl. He saved it and we added it later on to our song. Months later, the girl’s mom cornered me in the grocery store and asked me if we could take that voicemail out of the song. But we’re punk rock so we left it.
  • Favorite Line- “There’s comfort in the bottom of a swimming pool”
  • The Boredom Is The Reason I Started Swimming: I got stranded in Germany one time and I missed Thanksgiving. Side note: On Thanksgiving, I ate a hot dog with some weird potato shit on it in Amsterdam but it was still mad good. As I was walking around Berlin, I found this circus of freaks - it was more or less a sideshow act but it was free so I went in. I met a dude who was a gangster drug dealer, he let me stay at his house and was actually super nice. He cooked me food and went to Amsterdam with me. But while I was staying in his house he explained to me the rules of the streets in Berlin. Everybody pays, everybody’s head is in the noose, everyone is part of the program.
  • Bathtub: There’s so much in this song. Take it for what it’s worth. Favorite line: Please take me off speaker phone, this is a private conversation.
  • Legit Tattoo Gun: This song was originally called “MJ” because when we put it out we gave it two different names on two different websites. If you know this song as “MJ,” you’re way more punk rock. At one point, I was making out with a woman who was making out with a lot of other people. It was a mutually beneficial relationship. Favorite Line: “I am not a dirty god, I don’t have a dirty body”
  • Hooped Earrings: This is about a friend of mine that asked me to be there with her when she came out to her mother. Favorite Line: Curly hair don’t look good cut short.
Misfits

Originally posted by dammithoshi


Pairing: Jungkook x reader [feat: Taehyung]
Genre: angst. smut. trouble makers au. 
Word Count: 4.2k

Jungkook, Taehyung, and yourself, live in a poor area of Seoul. The three of you grew up together in another small poor town, so once you moved into Seoul with Jungkook and Taehyung, living in another small poor area didn’t bother you, even though you WANTED to live in the city, but that couldn’t happen due to the fact that you do not get paid enough at your job, while Jungkook and Taehyung have a harder time keeping jobs due getting into fights or even stealing from their jobs in order to help provide for each other, but also causing trouble around the neighborhood. 

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Yuanfen - Part 7

Characters - Bucky x Reader, OFC (Tesla @bovaria)

Word Count - 1909

Warnings - None

A/N - Idk dude. New charater, YAY! I’m not prepared to write the next part is2g. Please dont hesitant to tell me what you think! This is an AU. 缘分 (Yuanfen) is a Chinese word that has no direct English translation and (roughly) means “A relationship that is brought together by a force such as destiny or fate.“

Yuanfen Masterlist

You walked out the room with Bucky on your heels, pulling the door closed just fast enough for him to stop. Doing the only thing you could think of, you held the handle tightly with all your bodyweight shifted in the opposite direction. Though you were putting everything that you had into the action, the doorknob still turned within your grasp. With struggled groans, you continued to lean away as Bucky pulled the door open. Your feet slid across the wooden flooring until you were inside the room, right in front of the one person you didn’t want to see.

“Did you just try to lock me,” he paused, a smirk tugging at his lips as you straightened your stance, “in my own room?”

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youtube

Sherlock Holmes on Elementary is definitely a jerk. But he’s also a good person with a deep sense of empathy. Let’s explore how Elementary fits into the legacy of Holmes Adaptions, and how the character is depicted in these complex, contradictory ways.

Transcript below the cut

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Smile like an Idiot

Insipired by this prompt by @arituzz. (Thank you ^_^ )


Dammit, dammit, dammit. Quick, think fast, Baz. There must be a solution to this problem.

The blonde boy smiled at him and Baz’ knees got weak.

Are you kidding me?, Baz thought. Are you actually kidding me?

The guy that had lingered in the store for a few minutes now, unobtrusively observed by Baz, and now stepped towards him.

“Excuse me?”, he smiled politely. “I was wondering whether you could help me… buy a hairdryer.”

Hairdryer? Baz raised an eyebrow as he looked pointedly at the very short curly hair of the boy.

Cute, but weird.

“You dry your hair?”

“Ehrm, no… Actually, I need this for Penny.”
Cute, but straight.

“You know, because me and my best friend live together, and I kind of accidentally destroyed her hairdryer? And I need to get her a new one before she gets home and yells at me.”
“How do you destroy a hairdryer? You didn’t drop it in water, did you?”
“How stupid do you think I am? I’m not an idiot. Or, actually… Ehm…”
“Spit it out.”
Baz heart rate sped concerningly up. Not only cute, but also freaking adorable.

“Well, I had sort of cut myself on a broken cat statue, as you do it sometimes, and I was bleeding on the sofa, so I  got the hairdryer to clean the blood… As I’m thinking about it, could you perhaps help me get a cat statue and a new sofa, too?”

Baz smile got wider.

“Hm, I can’t help with you with the cat statue, but the sofa… Did you actually try to clean it with a hairdryer?”

“I- I mean, it’s like water, isn’t it?”
The guy swallowed nervously as Baz burst out laughing.

“It really isn’t. You’d have to use cold water to start with. Believe me, I’ve had my experiences with blood.”

And why that is, you really don’t want to know.

“Do you know the brand of the hairdryer?”
“Uh, no… I guess I was in a bit of a rush.”

“Man, you’re the worst at covering your traces. And can’t remove blood either! You’d be the worst criminal. Imagine you have to cover your tracks and you got blood on something that you need to replace. A knife, for instance. Not easy to clean off sometimes. Might have to get rid of it quickly and then you need to get a new one.”

“I’m getting some weird vibes of you there. Are you a killer or something?”
Baz smirked.
“What if I were? Would you run?”

“No. You’re no killer anyways. What kind of killer works in a drug store?”

“A drug dealer, perhaps. Also, this is not a drug store. It’s a store fulfilling all your everyday needs, didn’t you see the sign? But actually, a killer like me works in a cheap store. Because he needs the money to pay for college.”
Baz sighed shortly.

“Now, how did your friend’s hairdryer break then?”
“Turns out I’m not only extremely well at dropping cat statues but hairdryers, too, yeahy!”

Baz nodded and started to walk towards the aisle with the hairdryers.

Bloody cute guy with his stupid moles and stupid curls and stupid eyes and stupid smile. Merlin, that smile…

Baz thought about which hairdryer to recommend, when it dawned on him that, once the boy had bought it, he would leave and Baz would never see him again. Dammit, dammit, dammit. Think fast.

Then Baz remembered the broken hairdryer some girl had returned only yesterday. The girl had put it back in the original packaging. Baz would just have to give it to the boy and the boy would return…

But Baz, a voice in Baz’ head whispered. That’s an evil thing to do.

Well, I don’t give a shit, Baz snapped back in his head. I’m a Pitch, what did you expect? A bouquet of flowers? I don’t think so.

So, with the sweetest smile on his lips, Baz turned to the boy and said: “Give me a second, I have just the thing you need.”

When the boy returned, Baz only felt a tiny bit guilty. But there was no other way to make him come back, was there? Asking him was not an option. If he wanted to get rejected, he’d ring his father.

So the next day, the guy came back. And he seemed a bit angry.

“Baz!”, he exclaimed and Baz knew he was in trouble. But when he saw the boy’s blue eyes, he knew that it was all worth it.

“You gave me specifically a hairdryer that didn’t work, didn’t you? I mean, you purposefully went back to get me this hairdryer. What reason do you have to hate me? I mean, I know that it was stupid, but what do you have against stupid people?”

Baz smiled amused. Time to come clean. Baz knew that this was the point where the cute guy would call him a creep and go buy a hairdryer in some other store, but Baz still smiled. Because for the first time in a very long time, Baz had fun. For the first time, there was no need to worry. Just light-hearted banter, nothing more. It was a nice break from all his concerns. So if anything, Baz wanted to thank the blonde boy.

“Yes…” Baz whispered, smiling a grateful smile. “I gave you a defective item on purpose, so you had to come back… and I got to see you again.”
The boy was speechless for a few seconds.

“You did that… Just so I would come back?”
Baz nodded silently. Now it was the boy who burst out laughing.

“That… That’s really stupid. I mean, why didn’t you just ask? And I thought I was the idiot.”
At this point, Baz was a bit angry.

“Don’t blame this on me, it’s not like you were going to say yes!”

Simon drew back a bit and smiled at Baz discreetly.

“What makes you think that?”

“Well- you surely have a girlfriend.”
“Surely?”

“You look like you do.”
“I look like I do?”
“Yes!”

“Idiot.”
“Stop it.”
“Okay.”

The boy turned around, as if he wanted to go.

“No, wait!”, Baz called out. The boy turned back, wearing the biggest smile, and pushed a piece of paper into Baz’ hands.

“What’s that?”
“My number.”
“You wrote your number on a piece of paper before you came here?”
“Yes.”

“Even though you thought I hated you?”
“… kind of.”

“That’s stupid, too.”
“Yeah. I get it. We’re both stupid. Can we drop the subject now and plan a date? And oh, I’m Simon by the way.”

They grinned at each other. Baz felt a lot better suddenly. Perhaps the future wasn’t such a scary place now. And maybe working at this shop wasn’t so bad after all.

deranged

“Move.” You hear someone mumble behind you in an low and irritated voice.

You turn around startled by their rudeness. He was looking right at you his face  clearly annoyed. He made your nervous right away. He was good-looking, the type of good-looking guy you only see in movies or models. His features were sharp and perfect. His hair was a nice shade of brown, it wasn’t that dark or that light and you liked the way it slightly covered his eyebrows. He had on a grey cardigan and white button up underneath, with some black slacks clearly showing he had a good sense of fashion. A backpack hung lazily off his left shoulder showing he was a student just like you.

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Taehyung and Jungkook Reaction to You Trying Running Away From Him After Finding Out He is in a Gang

Part of Trying to leave him

Part I, Part II, Part III

Versions:

B.A.P: Part I, Part II, Part III ; BTS: Part I, Part II, Part III; EXO: Part I, Part II, Part III; Got7 {coming soon}; Monsta X {coming soon}

xoxo

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Snog Me Senseless 2

A/N:  Snog Me Senseless was supposed to be a one shot, but then I got more requests for a part 2.  So I combined SMS part 2 with this request.  I can picture parts 3 and 4 already, but only if people really want them.  Let me know what you think please!  I’m not going to mark this as NSFW, but it is sweetly smutty in its own way.  

As always, a HUGE thank you to my betas, @little-black-dress-24,  @niallandharrymakemestrong and @emulateharry.  I consider myself blessed every day to have landed in this supportive community of writers. Next time for sure, @melissas173!!!

You sigh as Harry’s lips gently part yours, and your hands reach to wrap around his neck, pulling his mouth closer to yours as you slide your tongue along his. He’s wrapped his left arm around your waist, and he’s leaning into you, using his slight height advantage to bend your head back as he deepens the kiss. Your emotions are swirling.  

It had only been a week since the frat party where you first learned to snog, and you had been practicing every day since with Harry.  Whereas his tongue had felt foreign inside your mouth the first time, you now relished the times when he kissed you like this, breathing through your respective noses to prolong the amount of time you could stay attached to each other.  It was nearly lunchtime, and Harry’s stomach was growling.  You hear the rumble and giggle a bit as you manage to move the gum he’s been chewing into your mouth as you end the kiss.  

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Summary: Matt likes to think Neil is done saying things that will get himself killed. Andrew disagrees.

Relationships: Matt & Neil, established Andrew/Neil

Warning: This is very pointless and the proof that I can write fluff and crack of anything. 

Word Count: 1474

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