i look at clothes online

In The Land of Monsters

I was always afraid of the gym. Of the monsters that lurked within. A land of giants I had no place intruding.

Sports, fitness and I were never on very good terms, especially when I was a teenager. I was the academic, the imagineer, the dreamer, the geek, the nerd. Whichever way you cut it, there was very much a difference between myself and my “sporty” peers. I’m not going to say “jocks”, because growing up in England we never had that kind of tribalism. But I was a peaceful soul who preferred to bury himself in books and science fiction; they were the brutes who pushed me against the corridor walls, gave me physical and mental torment for my lack of caring for my appearance, for my indifference to their ways. I didn’t even support a football (soccer) team, which in England is nearly as much a capital offence as non-support of rugby is in New Zealand.

Teenage Beastpup in England

So picture me as a young man going through puberty, being inspired by the muscular physiques of bodybuilders like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jay Culter, Flex Wheeler, Markus Ruhl… monsters, stirring something within me. A desire to be more. A desire to change. To express myself through growth.

But I was scared.

No matter how much I wanted it…I felt I could never, ever join a gym. It would be torture… I’d be like chum in a pool of sharks. Surely from the moment I stepped foot inside my tender, nerd-like nature would be sniffed out by the others, and I would be mocked, tortured anew. Or even then, could I handle seeing how skinny I was compared to the others, when my body dysmorphia took over? Or would my family and friends even understand and join in the mocking that I, the twig, was trying to change himself in the gym? And people would see how sexual it was for me. How much I wanted it… I could never be normal enough… could never get over all these mental hurdles…

 Until the day I did.

Moving to New Zealand in my early 20s brought a lot of changes and positive adjustments to my life. Away from my past, I was free in a new place to start anew. It took many, many months of convincing myself still, but at last I had enough of always wanting and never having. At long last… I was going to join a gym. It was now or never.

 And so my mission began.

Because I couldn’t just walk in there! Oh no. Couldn’t just waltz into the natives encampment… I had to disguise myself first. I had to present myself to the tribe as one of them. Prior to going to the gym, I took myself off to the local sportswear store which was in of itself terrifying as a place I’d never stepped foot in. I despised those overpriced, branded goods put together in sweatshop factories by kids overseas… but for this, I would make the leap. I bought my clothes… a gym bag. Looked up online, I think, what people normally took to the gym… water bottle, towel. It took me a week to psych myself up but finally… I did it. I entered the land of monsters.  I went to the local gym and like a meek doormouse, asked the young lady at the reception if I could join.

 Everything that happened after was so very, very different from all my fears. I was welcomed. I was taken in, I was given my induction by helpful trainers… they equipped me with the confidence to be in that environment, and weren’t intimidating at all! Nor were the other guys there… everyone was just doing their own thing. No torture, no mocking. Just a common pursuit. Fitness. Growth.

The years since have been a blur; a lot has happened in my life. But the gym has always been there… it went from feeling like an alien outpost, to something else. Home. I am at home in the gym. I live for it. I know it. It has become my playground. My stomping ground. And just this week I looked in the mirror, now that I have grown, and I can see staring back at me:

I am now the monster I was afraid of.

 I made my dream come true, and in the process lost my fears. And I’ll say to anyone; you can have this too. You can be it. But if you still have your fear, I understand. But you don’t have to be afraid of the monsters. You’ll be one of them if you want. You just have to work. You just have to leave fear behind.

Happy growing…

 - Beast June 2017

1D Hiatus: Day 591

* Louis does interviews/promo, meets fans in Leeds and keeps asking them for opinions on his new haircut

* Louis posts a selfie on Instagram with the caption “On the road again”

* Harry will perform in the BBC Radio 1 Live Lounge on September 13

* Pictures and videos of Liam at the musical.ly HQ in LA yesterday come out

* Liam arrives in London 

* Liam posts a video on Snapchat

* Pictures of Harry, his mum, Cindy Crawford, Rande Gerber and their children having lunch somewhere in Canada yesterday come out

* Liam posts a selfie on Instagram

It’s Jul 26th, 2017.

On this day a year ago: #226

anonymous asked:

Costume design/construction student here with irrelevant information! I cant find any documents online about it but Vulcan clothes look so Asian inspired? I love them a lot. It crosses over into the hair a little, I'm always excited when I watch TOS with my partner because of things like that but Vulcans in particular.

Vulcan culture does seem to be rather Asian coded which is funny because a lot of their language/customs are Jewish coded!

captainsnumple-deactivated20170  asked:

Galaxia is freezing in her Canned Tuna costume but she's the Queen Of All Existing so she can't put on some peasant pants and a sweater and she keeps freezing. That's the reason why she's so mean actually

Let Galaxia be comfortable 2k16

this might have stopped the plot of Stars from happening ever

spent the whole day buying things & watching hoodies & shirts to buy for myself.


62/100, grabbed some lunch with a friend at my new favourite spot (with the best grilled cheese !!) & took a nice little walk before going to the library for a little pre latin exam panic.

Five Things

thank you @naminyard for the tag! <3

Five things you’ll find in my bag: lip balm, a water bottle, ear phones, keys, a book

Five things you’ll find in my room: piles and piles of books, fairy lights, succulents, hundreds of note books and journals, blankets

Five things that make me happy: cats, reading, my friends, baking, music

Five things that I’m into: kpop, aftg, the 1975, musicals, soc

Five things on my to-do list: get a new pair of shoes, spend more time looking at clothes online that i love but can’t afford, watch the end of the f****ing world, revise latin more

Five people I tag: @frytk-a @jostens-foxes @reneeewalker @crackerdxst @nickyyyhemmicks

but completely ignore me if you want!

anonymous asked:

Can you make and adam lanza one on he he is in bed pls include aftercare Bullet format is fine thank you love

I wish I got more Adam Lanza request cuz he’s so precious!!!! Enjoy

  • at first he would be very unsure and submissive, he’d be insecure about taking his clothes off so you’d have to be gentle and help coax him out of his clothes
  •  I could see him going online and looking up ways to please you and one day he’d lay you back on the bed and tell you to take off your clothes, his fingers gently caressing your thighs as he kissed the soft inner skin his blue eyes looking up at you before licking the front of your panties
  • after a while he’d get more passionate and grab the headboard so he could fuck into you harder, looking down watching  your face he’d always want to see how much pleasure you were in cause he still couldn’t believe he was the one making you moan  
  • I feel like he wouldn’t want you to touch him so every time you would try running your hand along his chest he’d push it away “Only I can touch you”, but it’s hard not to scratch your nails down his back when he’s on top thrusting into you, kissing at the side of your neck
  •  I feel like after he would talk “Did you like it”, “You smelt really nice today”, “We can cuddle if you want, it’s ok if you don't”,
  • but you’d always want to cuddle after, so you’d lay facing each other nose to nose both of your guys legs tangled together under a blue blanket and he’d go back to being shy so you’d have cute pillow talk and ask him about the new computer program he’s learning
  • and when you accidentally fall asleep he’d study your face and run his fingers along your cheek and twirl your hair, cause he’s a sweet bby
Chapter Sixty

A/N: Okay, this part is quite small because the ending just seemed to happen, and it felt like a good place to leave the chapter, so I’ve split it into parts. I hope you enjoy it :)

Also, if you haven’t read the last chapter (where Harry and Emmy have a housewarming party in their new house), you can read it here.

Enjoy :) xx


Emmy broke into a smile as she entered the private room at the back of the restaurant. Emma Watson was already there, looking as pretty as ever and wearing a smile just as wide. She jumped up, and then they were hugging.

“It’s been way too long,” Emma said. “Congratulations on your little baby, by the way!”

“Aw, thank you,” Emmy laughed. “Congratulations to you on your trip to Ghana. I read an article on it, it sounded amazing.”

“Oh, it was,” Emma replied. “It was so fascinating to see how gender equality is different out there. All the ladies I met were amazing women, they were so kind and beautiful. It was sad to leave, to be honest.”

“I know the feeling,” Emmy said.

“You’re going to Brazil next week, right?”

“Well, I was,” she said, then sighed. “We didn’t account for Zika. I wasn’t pregnant when we made the decision to go. Now…it’s probably best not.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So to get in spirit I totally start listening to all the old good Christmas songs and usually if I can find a good one, some modern ones. Then I always go look at holiday themed clothes online. Watching Christmas movies. HOT CHOCOLATE!!! Ummmm basically just I'm in a Christmas mood 24/7 for 365 days a year so I just am able to express it more lmao

I LOVE GETTING IN THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT but ive been so busy with school i haven’t had any time:(( all i wanna do is watch the polar express and drink hot chocolate tbh

anonymous asked:

Do you know of any good resources or websites for outfit designs? My biggest weakness is designing original clothing for my characters but I don't know where to look for inspiration.

I tend to look at catalogues, clothing websites (online stores esp), sometimes fashion blogs or magazines, and pattern books (sewing, knitting). 

Consider what kind of clothes your character would wear– where would they shop? Do they make their own clothes (or patch or tailor store bought clothes)? Do they spend $$$ on clothes, or are they thrifty? Are they stylish? Practical? Do they care how they look? What are their favorite colors/what colors do they look good in? All these questions can steer you towards what kind of reference you should look to. 

If you can find the name of what kind of fashion subculture you want to work with, that helps a lot too- you can find all kinds of ideas just by googling or checking out tags on picture websites. 

Designing totally original clothes is obviously going to be difficult, because fashion design is something that people study for years and need to understand the craft and materials and engineering of clothing to really do well. 
(The upside of drawing or describing clothing is that you can just make fabric obey your will without having to figure out how to make real-life fabric do the thing and drape just so). 

You can learn about fashion design to get a better grasp on it. Practicing by looking at existing clothes isn’t a bad idea either. If you think ‘I want this character to have a peacoat with _____ ______ and _______ details’, you can look at different pictures of peacoats and make an amalgamation of the parts that you want that person’s jacket to look like.  

Most of these suggestions are geared towards modern clothes. If you characters will be wearing historical fashion, you can look at books of fashion from that time period, museums (a lot of museums have online photo galleries you can look at!), and do some internet research on the fashions of the time. 

If you’re doing fantasy/scifi costuming, you have a lot of freedom! Consider things like:

- What is the climate like there?
- Would this person need to blend in or stick out from their surroundings?
- What activities would this person be doing regularly?
- What do people consider ‘decent’ attire? 
- What is considered fashionable v. unfashionable?

and then look at how people have solved similar clothing problems throughout history for inspiration. 

People wear different types of outfits for different occasions and circumstances– so try thinking about a character’s

- casual wear
- PJs
- work clothes
- dressed neatly clothes  
- very fancy time outfit
- dirty job outfit 
- hot weather wear 
- cold weather wear

and any other occasions that might be useful. 

I hope this helps you get started!
Good luck!

i have found myself looking up clothes online and i keep gravitating to all things femme. and yes, i love femme things of COURSE, but also: i would SUPER wear more masc clothing if i knew what the fuck i was doing and it weren’t such a goddamn pain in the ass to find shit in my size that didn’t look wicked boxy. i’ve been thinking more about this in the last week or two again and i feel like i don’t have…the time or brainspace to learn this whole new clothing language right now? i just want someone to dress me up. ugh.