i live with that

Things from today's live show♡:
27/4/17

• phil: “There’s no DAWG… at the moment,”

• phil is keeping his bedroom aesthetic

• dan is changing is bedroom aesthetic

• he has a floating white bed ??

• he’s keeping all things silver !

•playing with cardboard boxes ,?,,

• chat: “when will you get a dog?” phil: “one day,”

• gaming video room has been set up !!

• mystery glass ??/

• dan in pink :))

• they touched the sydney opera house in AUS

• they watched fantastic beasts, lion, hacksaw ridge, nerve and snowden on the plane

• dan cried watching hacksaw ridge :’(

• had a little zoo trip

• the danisnotonfire desk is not in his bedroom and has been moved to the living room :?

• phil is still filming in his bedroom

• phil: “I requested a plant.” dan: “I bought a plant!”

• dan @ phil: “prepare inspirations for me,”

• SNUG (living room) !

• dan has a white piano !!

• “are you still trying to get revenge on me for the cereal?” “yes!”

• phil: “I know we can’t have a dog, but can we have a fish?”

• d&p talking about the science art museum and taking photos of eachother !

• dan cried at the show with the metal flower tree :“((((

• boomerangs at the aquarium !

• dan was given sparkley nail polish

• phil: “It just releases your pastely aesthetic,”

• phil: “I think I can probably get away with a fish or a hamster,”

• chat: “are you gonna curl you hair?” phil: “I think i’ll do it for a video at some point,”

• playlist live !

• phil is going to florida with the family

• harry’s new solo is phil’s favourite :))

• dan cried watching the last gaming video, back :’((((((

• some videos next week !!

• favourite room; gaming room !

• phil’s new room is “cozy and quiet” ♡

• dan: “I want to make the new danisnotonfire background, pretty” ♡

• dan has a bonsai !

• dan has an idea for a new dinof video (ooo)

• he has one final video in his old room

• dan said he purposely gave us hints about them moving in his last younow (we all knew lmao)

• phil called dans hair soft and poked it

• phil: “if i had natural curls i’d let them curl”

• the new apartment is called steve/dave/thor

• dan: “phil why won’t you paint your nails?”

• someone at phil’s university painted his nails and he didn’t like it :( (rip)

• probably a dinof video on monday and dans live show on tuesday !

• phil will try to do one in florida !

• “we’re just two irrelevant twits; dan and phil”

the finale at LPL Baltimore! it’s not the best quality but I did my best. also at one point kovic, ryan, james and gavin appeared like 10 feet to my right so I tried to film them a bit

     Hi,  tumblr.  some of you know me as nook, some of you know me as @sesshcmaru  or  @forzia. So it’s time for me to reveal a dark secret, one that I need help for before I become so desperate that even stupid solutions seem desirable.  I am a victim of emotional and mental abuse at the hands of my parents. People who were meant to raise me who instead kept me and still keep me prisoner in my own home. My mother is a narcissist, gas-lighting and lying constantly in order to keep her need for power and control well-fed.  She steals from me, threatens me with suicide if i say ‘no’ to her, tells me that if i ever leave she’ll just ‘die’, and then turns around and tells neighbors and friends how worthless i am, how much she wishes i would just leave. she never let me learn how to drive because she knew that i would leave. even now, she makes up excuses for why i can’t learn. she can’t drive me. she can’t drive me to work because she doesn’t feel like it.  lately, I’ve taken up requests for theme backgrounds and icons and the like– and even now i find myself unable to finish several of them. because the strain from the amount of stress i’m under makes it impossible for me to function.  Many of you have read and responded to the things that my mother has done to me. I post about it rarely, but sometimes in detail on the dash. This time she’s stolen something precious to me, something I needed for my degree in anthropology as a symbol of what I wanted to do with my life. Something she doesn’t approve of.  This is only a week after Bo, a service animal, nearly died.

Rp has always been a hobby to escape. To become someone else. To put my feelings aside and my life aside and live, for a moment, as someone who has their shit together. It is sad and lonely, but it is the truth.  Two of my sisters ran away from her abuse about seven years ago. I have dreamed of nothing more than doing the exact same thing. I haven’t heard from them since.

But there is a glimmer of hope. A close friend has offered me a place to stay in the state of Arizona. She has offered to rent a uhaul truck, break her lease and help me and my three dogs find a place to live. That person is Brooklyn, @shouxryuuxha, who i have known in the rp community for several years. The thing is, I need money to help pay for gas and also to help us get an apartment. What I make working isn’t enough to cover it when most of my check goes toward keeping my mother at bay.  So, at the request of several of my friends and at the sake of my pride ( i hate asking for help. it feels dirty. it means i have to open myself up to people for them to see the parts of my life that are dark and narrow and frightening.) i have come to ask you all for help. please, donate what you can. I can try to pay you back someway, someday. But I need a safe place. I need respite. I need to live. 

Please donate anything you can to my paypal at  personalauthor13@gmail.com.  Include your url in the note and I will personally come and thank you, and try to do anything i can to repay the favor.

my favourite “first kiss” trope goes like this:

  • first kiss very hesitant shy not sure how the other will respond
  • lips gently pressing together softly exploring this brave new world
  • pulling back to look in each other’s eyes
  • sudden realisation that this is real and happening
  • they feel the same way it’s beautiful
  • i kissed you and you kissed me back
  • for real
  • my dreams are coming true
  • a long, blissful moment of mutual contemplation of what just happened and all the many implications thereof
  • and then they go in for the second kiss and it’s like
  • alrightie then time to EAT EACH OTHER’S FACES AND TEAR EACH OTHER’S CLOTHES OFF