Summary: Some people say they peaked in high school. I’m pretty sure I peaked at birth and my life’s been going downhill ever since. I used to think living alone would be some kind of a luxury, but losing my housemate and best friend, Jean, to the State of Goddamn Ohio, makes me realize how unsavory Bailey’s tastes in solitude. To avoid sounding miserable every time Jean calls, I let Levi, a seventeen-year-old transfer student I’d met on my birthday, move in with me. The gist of it: he’s hot. Our friendship takes a more intimate turn not long after he moves in, and I begin believing in lousy things; like fate, love, and Dollar Tree price tags.