i live by the zoo ;u;

greenmantle  asked:

where do ronan and adam and opal go on their first vacation as a family thanks love anonymous

i’ve thought this over and. i’m indecisive. have 4 options. (it’s like a choose your own adventure book! sorta!)

option 1: the first family vacation is to DC. adam has an internship, so ronan and opal accompany him to help him settle in. ronan is excited to flip off the white house live in real life. they go to the smithsonian’s national zoo (which opal thinks is both awesome and weird, because animals are cool but also she has hooves), and then they go to the imax planetarium thing to see a cool 3D documentary about dinosaurs (which opal loves), and they don’t go to any museums because Who Cares. 

option 2: the first family vacation is to ireland. ronan hasn’t been there since he was fourteen, but the place is still just as beautiful, and he wants to experience it with his new family since. uh. most of his old family is dead oops. they have a lot of fun and they see all the sights and adam buys cheesy little souvenirs and opal starts talking with an accent and no one can tell if she’s kidding or not!

option 3: the first family vacation is to disneyworld, because adam finally has the funds to go and the family to go with. he’s woefully undereducated in all things disney, and the overpriced consumerism makes him a little ill, but it’s so sweet and domestic and fun that he can put that all aside. opal loves it (creatures that are smart and verbal but have animal characteristics? Nice), and ronan does too, because he’s secretly a disney sap. sleeping beauty reminds him of his mom, alice in wonderland reminds him of his dad, peter pan reminds him of matthew. opal throws up after going on the teacups, but other than that, all the rides are fun. it’s all a little bittersweet, but. they have a rly nice time!

option 4: the first family vacation is to Somewhere in the pacific northwest, because ronan wants to dream bigfoot into existence. 

That ADHD thing where
  • friend: *speaks*
  • me: *nods, sips iced lemonade*
  • my train of thought: would you look at this little ice cubes, they're melting, oh this reminds me so much of the Arctic and it's so sad, DAMN CLIMATE CHANGE, it's becoming too hot and the polar bears are gonna die, speaking of polar bears and hot, why the fuck would you take an animal that needs to live where it's fucking freezing to a goddamn zoo in the middle of a city, that shit is crazy, zoo animals are so mistreated, which by the way is an issue not completely overlooked but romanticized in the movie 'Madagascar', I can't believe their nerve, why u always fuckin' lying, zoos are terrible in reality, well at least they decided to free them and let them live their lives, but no, those animals are fucking stupid and WANT to go back, what kind of crap
  • friend: *still speaking, oblivious to the fact that my brain is far, far away*
  • me: (interrupting) WHY THE FUCK WOULD THE ANIMALS FROM 'MADAGASCAR' WANT TO GO BACK TO THE ZOO, LIKE, U GOT A GORGEOUS ISLAND TO EXPLORE, GO LIVE YO LIFE, LET'S BOICOT ZOOS, SAY NO TO ANIMAL EXPLOITATION, PROTECT POLAR BEARS, VEGAN POWER

OKAY BUT U GUYS REMEMBER HOW I TOLD Y'ALL TO LISTEN TO ZABA??? SEOKJIN’S STORY FITS THE SONG TOES SO MUCH. “WELCOME TO MY ZOO” HE PROBABLY HAS A BUNCH OF WEIRD ANIMALS IN HIS TEMPLE BC HE’S THE GOD OF FLORA AND FAUNA??? “FIVE FINGERS TO BLACK HOOVES” BC OF HIS DUIKER FORM,,, “AND ALL I EVER WANT IS JUST A LITTLE LOVE, I SAID IN PURRS UNDER THE PALMS / AND ALL I EVER WANT IS BREAKING ME APART, I SAID TO THE THING THAT I ONCE WAS” ALL ALLUDES TO HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT ONE MORTAL AND ‘WHAT HE ONCE WAS’ COULD BE A TAPESTRY OF HIS GLORY DAYS THAT JIN REFLECTS UPON CONSTANTLY LIKE BITCH! !!!!

anonymous asked:

do u know any random facts about julian

Yeah
♚He said Cal is his best friend
♚He lives in some kind of 50’s neighborhood
♚He hates zoos
♚He doesn’t like dirty talking, at least on interviews
♚He dedicated New York City Cops for “all the homies in Ferguson"
♚He owns 6 vests (i think)
♚He wears the same clothes for a long period of time, but he says he changes his underwear daily
♚He chews gum instead of smoking

👌

verimin  asked:

Yoyoyo newbie~!!!! Welcome to MM Hell! I To bring you an ask, how about cute headcannons of the RFA crew at a zoo~? Mc dragging their S/o around, whether they like it or not. Favorite animals? What kind of shenanigans happen~? Thank you~~~~~!

Thank u lmao I’m enjoying my stay

Sidenote, sorry if this doesn’t come out good, where I live we only have 1 zoo and it isn’t very well maintained so ^^;

—–

Jaehee:

  • she’s the type that enjoys animals from afar
  • so zoos are perfect for her
  • she ends up really liking the giraffes 
  • wait we can feed them??
  • you buy the two of you tickets to the feeding safari and she’s excited and scared at the same time
  • you take pictures of each other feeding the giraffes like proud moms
  • she gets squeamish when their lips brush against her hand
  • but otherwise she has the time of her life

Jumin:

  • he doesn’t like it tbh
  • too many commoners
  • besides, the only animal he needs is Elizabeth 3rd
  • he does enjoy the lion exhibit though big cats yay
  • he finds their roars to be quite majestic
  • he’s also a nerd that likes reading the plaques and spews cat facts at you afterwards
  • “Did you know that Elizabeth’s far off ancestors had fangs that passed their jaw, MC?”
  • you dragged him away from the lion exhibit to see the bird enclosure
  • a bird pooped on his suit
  • and he tried suing the zoo

Seven

  • this kid thinks going anywhere with you is an adventure honestly
  • you and him take silly pictures with the lions and send them to Jumin
  • “Jumin!!! We miss Elly too much so we came here T^T”
  • “piss off wtf”
  • he’s really into the reptiles though
  • you probably own a snake or bearded dragon with him already
  • he does silly impressions of the animals just to get a laugh out of you
  • you split cotton candy and he kisses you in the butterfly exhibit how romantic

Yoosung

  • he likes zoos because wow animals!!
  • but he doesn’t like zoos with small enclosures and such
  • the day was going fine, until you passed the aquatic exhibits
  • he stopped in his tracks and just stared at the hippos
  • “MC… look at them. They’re not just unhappy, they’re sick.”
  • they did look sickly, but nothing too dire
  • he was upset the rest of the day before deciding to have a civil discussion with the management
  • you stood by and watched as your broke ass husband threatened to sue the zoo while stuttering for animal abuse
  • and wow are you in love

Zen

  • he doesn’t like zoos
  • there’s bound to be at least a dozen of his fangirls there
  • not to mention it’s a breeding ground for his allergies
  • never one to let his lady down, when you mentioned wanting to go to the new zoo across town, he popped two allergy pills, put on a breathing mask and gave you a rose with the tickets
  • he did enjoy the aquatics exhibit though
  • the dolphins were his favorite
  • plus the cat hairs could barely affect him from down here
Butterflies

A/N: Alright, my lovely readers! I know, I know! You’ve all been waiting for a Draco imagine post war. Well, I am putting SO MUCH WORK into it, it might not be finished for a little while. Trust me, it is so long, and I haven’t even gotten to the good parts. Any who, I thought, my readers MUST have something to read in the mean time! So, here is a little draco x reader, taken place during the “Goblet of Fire.” Enjoy!


The two looked, oddly, identical. The pair of men walked up the creaking steps to sit with the Minister of Magic, himself. His father walked a bit ahead, his thick cane tapping against the floor. Draco looked around, observing the crowd. His eyes stopped when he spotted her. Y/n. She sat amongst the other witches and wizards who were excited to watch the Cup. She sat with her best friend, Pansy, and the Parkinson clan. The two giggled as Viktor Krum flew into the arena. Draco stopped walking for a quick second as he watched her. Lucius halted, turning around to see why Draco wasn’t walking in step with him. He followed his son’s expression, and found a raven haired and h/c girl giggling towards the Bulgarian team. “Who are you looking at, Draco? Certainly not Pansy.” Draco looked down, flushed. “What? No one. Let’s just get to our seats.” Draco pushed past his father, jogging up the steps. Lucius smirked towards the two girls, but kept his eyes peeled on only one.

Finally, it was time to begin the fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy. In muggle schools, now would be the time to start high school. This also meant that many old friends would begin looking at each other…differently. 

Draco and his parents strode through the crowd of students, all eager to get back to Hogwarts. Draco was fixing a strap on his suitcase, with his mother pouring kisses all over him. “Alright, mother! I understand! I’ll get straight O’s and write every day!” He rolled his eyes, smiling at his loving mum. Lucius wasn’t as focused on what they were doing, and was, instead, looking towards a young girl, in a similar situation with her parents. Draco looked up at Lucius, expecting a farewell, but noticed his father’s steel eyes, fixed on someone, or something, in the distance. Draco turned his head, looking at her. He, quickly, looked back at his suitcase, and began to fiddle, once more, with his strap. “Cissy? Perhaps I could have a moment alone with Draco?” Lucius leaned in towards her ear, murmuring. Narcissa looked up, nodding, and turned, waving goodbye. Lucius chuckled, looking back at her. “What’d you say?” His father laughed, “I told her it was about what happened at the Quidditch Cup, but I just want to discuss the lad you’ve been watching.” Draco blushed, frowning at his shoes. “I-I don’t know-” “Draco, I didn’t raise you to be a petty liar.” He looked into his son’s eyes, not needing to search for an answer. “Name?” Draco sighed, “Y/n. Y/n L/n.” Lucius nodded, approvingly, at her surname. “House?” Draco smirked, “She’s in Slytherin, like me.” Lucius smiled, patting his son’s shoulder. “Draco, it is perfectly normal for you to have feelings. I didn’t admit to myself that I fancied your mother until fifth year. I hope you don’t have the same issue.” Draco blushed, looking anywhere but his father. “I, um, don’t think I’ll ever m-marry h-her.” Lucius smirked, “Would you like to?” Just as Draco looked up, the conductor shouted that the train would depart in ten minutes. “Go. And, by the way, my first conversation with Cissy was asking her if I could sit in her compartment, ‘cause the rest were full.” Lucius winked at a befuddled Draco, leaving the platform. Draco looked around, not finding her anywhere. He sighed, hopping onto the train. He bumped his way through to the Slytherin section, humming a soft tune to himself. Being late, he didn’t have much of a compartment selection. He looked through the shadows, searching for an emptier cabin. He caught a single compartment, which looked to have not many people in it. As he slid open the door, he found only one. Her. He blushed, immensely, and tapped his fingers, nervously, on the door. “U-uh-um, hey y/n.” The girl looked up from the Quibbler, smiling. “Draco! Long time, no see! How was your summer?” He sat down, placing his suitcase at his feet. “Not too shabby. It was alright, over all. How about you?” She smirked, “I got to see a real, live dragon!” He widened his eyes, “Really? How?” She raised an eyebrow, turning back to her newspaper. “Secret. I can’t have everyone going to them. It’d become a petting zoo, and that zoo is just for me.” Draco smiled, watching her. She was, by far, the most amazing girl he had ever met. The two had been friends since first year. Second year, they were inseparable. Quidditch, homework, you name it, they did it together. Then, third year came. Draco didn’t know why, but even when she spoke with Blaise, who he knew had a massive crush on Ginny Weasley, sat with y/n, he got a raging fire in his stomach. He wasn’t sure if he was jealous, or envious, or something. Third year is when he felt the butterflies. Anytime they did their usual activities together, the butterflies would show up. He had an unusual relationship with them. He hated that they existed, but loved the feeling they gave. 

Y/n looked out the window, watching the passing scenery. Draco, on the other hand, didn’t need to look outside to see utter beauty.

Once they arrived at Hogwarts, they left into the Great Hall. Pansy and Y/n sat together, facing Blaise and Draco. They were introduced with the Triwizard Tournament, which wasn’t a new subject for the Pureblooded wizards and witches. Once Dumbledore announced the school, Beauxbatons, every boy in the Hall looked towards the dancing witches. They were like sirens, captivating every eye. The only boy who didn’t look up was, in fact, Draco. He looked at his fingers, messing with his nail. Y/n noticed, and began to giggle. He, then, moved his attention upward at the sound of her voice. “Don’t you think they’re pretty? The Beauxbaton girls?” He looked at them, shrugging. “Not really. Their noses are a bit large, and their accents are absolutely dreadful.” Pansy and y/n burst out laughing, squinting from glee. “See, Draco, we can always count on you to boost our self esteem!” Pansy giggled at y/n’s comment, while Draco smirked in pride. The three began a conversation, until a clank of staffs were heard on the other end of the hall. “Oh my Godric!” Every girl was practically drooling. Pansy’s mouth dropped at the muscular gentlemen, who carried themselves much better than any boy at Hogwarts. The only girl not paying attention was, in fact, y/n. Draco noticed, and smirked, “Don’t you think they’re handsome? The Durmstrang guys?” Y/n smiled, “Not really. Their mouths are too large, and their beards are absolutely dreadful!” Draco and y/n smiled at each other, only seeing the one another in the hall.

_______________________________________________________________________

After spending a few months at school, learning more about the different wizarding academies around the world, a beloved time came. The Yule Ball. Draco had his heart set on asking y/n, but he couldn’t find the perfect time. She was either studying, eating, sleeping, or doing some other necessary activity he couldn’t interfere with. Another thing setting him back was the fact that he wasn’t aware of her feelings. He had seen her for the first two years as just a friend, so why shouldn’t she be the same way. Maybe she wanted a Durmstrang bloke to ask her. Why not? Draco didn’t see himself as special. He wasn’t as tall, or as muscular, or as polite as the others. Durmstrang had it going for them, so why would a perfect girl, like y/n, pick him over them.

Y/n, on the other hand, was waiting patiently for anything to arrive. A note, a bouquet, a necklace? NOTHING! She desperately wanted Draco to ask her to the dance, considering that she’s fancied him for two bloody years. At the beginning of third year, she had began to feel odd around him. She’d get these things called ‘butterflies.’ Finally, a few nights before the dance, a note flew into her window, courtesy of the family owl, Spartacus. She squealed, internally, treating the bird to a nut. She opened it to find only a letter from her father. 

My Dearest Y/n,

I do hope all is well at Hogwarts. Your mother and I are exceedingly proud of your grades, so far. I heard the quidditch team is looking for a new captain. Perhaps if that grade in Transfiguration went up, I could have a word with Professor Dumbledore about how Marcus Flint isn’t living up to expectations. Anyway, this isn’t the true reason I owled. Tomorrow night, we are going to a friend’s house for dinner, and your mother and I would appreciate if you could join. Wear something acceptable! If I see you waltz in with sneakers, you will receive a very annoying howler! I’m sure you won’t disappoint.

With much Love,

Mother and Father

She, immediately, went to her closet, pulling out dress after dress. Her e/c eyes stopped on one, in particular. It was a a long, black dress with captured her personality. It had delicate, sheer sleeves with a thick, emerald sash in the middle. It was simple, yet screamed elegance. She put the dress aside, hanging it up in her closet for the dinner. 

The next day, Draco grabbed a white, dress shirt with charcoal slacks, and a silver and black tie. He had to go to a stupid dinner with his parents that he dreaded. Its not that he didn’t love Lucius and Narcissa, but during the holidays, they could become a bit outrageous. Their parties were nice, and all, but Draco wasn’t too fond of large crowds.  

As he exited the Hogwarts gates, he popped in front of the manor, adjusting his tie. He rang the doorbell, reluctantly. Within a few seconds, his mother swung the large, antique door. “Draco! Darling! We’re so glad you came.” Something, however, was different about her eyes. She had a certain glint in them that he just couldn’t put his finger on. He smiled, hugging Narcissa, and walking towards the living room. Once he entered, he greeted his father with a shy smile. Lucius smirked, having the same sparkle in his eyes as his wife. “So, Draco, I’m sure you are wondering why we asked you to dinner.” Draco nodded, “I actually am. I was a bit curious when I got your letter.” Just as he finished speaking, the doorbell rang. “Draco, I believe your reason just arrived. Could you get the door?” He nodded, obediently, and walked to the entrance of the manor. He smiled, opening the door, but froze when he saw which family was on the other side. “Y/n?!” 

Mr. L/n smiled, walking past Draco. “Hello, again, Draco.” Her mother was a tad nicer, shaking his hand. “Always a pleasure.” He said hello to them both, but his eyes never left hers. Lucius walked up, beaming at his son. “Mr. and Mrs. L/n, always a joy to have you in our home.” The parents of the young witch smiled, with m/n hugging Narcissa and f/n shaking hands with Lucius. “Ahem?” Draco turned his attention towards y/n, fully taking in her attire. “Do you have any idea why we’re here?” Draco shook his head ‘no,’ following the adults to the dining room. Throughout the entire dinner, the parents talked, while the two, uncomfortable teens sat and ate, stealing a couple glances. After their meal was done, Lucius stood, extending his hand to Narcissa. “Please, m/n and f/n, join us in the drawing room. I’m afraid we’ll be discussing business, so you two can, perhaps, roam the garden? The weather is quite lovely, tonight, don’t you agree, Cissy?” Narcissa smirked, leading the other couple further into the manor. “I do agree. Now, please, m/n, tell me more about your discovery with wolfsbane.” The four parents disappeared into the dark hallway, leaving Draco and y/n. “So, would you like to see the maze? I’ve figured my way around it, by now, but I do, occasionally, stroll through it. You know, to clear my head.” Y/n nodded, following him outside. As she stepped into the cool, night, she gasped. “The moon! It is so beautiful tonight!” Draco blushed, “Not as pretty as you.” Y/n turned, looking into his eyes. “Draco, what’s the real reason I’m here?” Draco stuttered, “W-Well, our parents are friends, o-of course.” She raised an eyebrow, waiting for the truth. They walked further through the dark maze, in complete silence. “Look, its a long story.” She smiled, “We have time. This maze is quite large, and once my mother has had four glasses of pumpkin juice, there’s no telling how long I’ll stay here.” He laughed along, playing with his hands in embarrassment. “W-w-well, my father and I were at the Quidditch World Cup. He saw me l-l-looking at y-you, and has harassed me ever since.” She chuckled, “Well, you were probably just happy to spot me. After all, it had been a summer since we had seen each other.” He cleared his throat, nodding along. “He also caught me at the train station.” Y/n giggled, stopping him. “Wait, don’t walk. I want to remember this.” He looked around, curious as to what she meant. She took a deep breath, and spread her perfectly manicured hands along the sides of her dress. “Draco Malfoy, I have feelings for you. I know we’re supposed to be just friends, but I thought you should know.” Before she had time to breath and accept what she just admitted, she felt two cold hands press on her cheeks. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to hear those words?” As she was going to answer, the softest thing she ever felt was against her lips. Draco. She kissed back, both of them pouring each of their emotions into the kiss. As they broke apart, only inches away, they whispered simultaneously, ‘I love you,’ relishing the romantic scene the manor provided. As they kissed under the night sky, they were unaware of a group of butterflies flying close behind.

Extended Ending:
The mothers cheered in excitement, while Lucius and f/n smirked. “I must say, your son is quite the charmer.” Lucius smiled, “He has me to look up to, of course he’ll get the girl!” The men laughed, as Narcissa and m/n were discussing dress ideas to the Yule Ball. 

Around an hour later, the L/n family left. Shortly after, Narcissa went upstairs, leaving Draco and Lucius in the family room. “So, son, I think you owe me a thank you.” Draco blushed, “Thank you, father. Without you, I probably wouldn’t have had my first kiss, or a date to the ball.” “And not just any date to the ball,” “But y/n l/n. If you told me this two years ago, I would’ve called you a liar.” Lucius pat his son’s back, taking a sip of fire whiskey. “I think that maze is magical. It’s where your mother and I first kissed, too.” Draco looked up, eyebrows raised and a gentle smile on his face. “Really? You and mum had your first romantic moment in the maze, too?” Lucius smiled, staring at the fire. “Many things happened there. First kiss, bridal shower, in fact, its where you were conceived.” Draco screeched, pulling away from his father’s grasp. “EWE EWE EWE EWE EWE EWE EWE!” Lucius laughed, boisterously, “I’m only kidding.” As Draco began to slightly calm down, he heard a loud shout from upstairs. “YOU WEREN’T CONCEIVED IN THE GARDEN BUT YOU BET YOUR ARSE WE TRIED!” 

Draco didn’t sleep that night.


A/N

I know this imagine was absolute rubbish but I hope you do enjoy it. It took two nights to write, and I had to put Earl Grey, No sugar on hold, which is something I really can’t afford to do. I will try my best to finish asap! I love you guys!

xoxo

-G

pvnk-leia-deactivated20160618  asked:

pls tell me about grantaire and enjolras taking their chubby babies to the zoo for the first time i nEED IT

madi i hate children y do u do this ok ready

  • enjolras pointing out every other minute the less-than-stellar living conditions of the animals
  • until he sees the otters bc then hes like holy shit r they have otters kids look at the otters they are wonderful
  • grantaire buying the entire family zoo teeshirts and zoo food and pony rides bc he is all about this shit so much so that the zoo staff fuckin know him
  • the children making animal sounds when prompted
  • grantaire making very obnoxious animal noises for the children, who think theyre the funniest shit
  • unrelated: r also makes really great dad faces
  • at one point a very annoying kid is screaming at the bears and enj is like wow that kid really likes bears and r goes well yeah but so do u and flexes and enj is just >:o
  • What she says: im okay
  • What she means: REMOVE KEBAB remove kebab
  • you are worst turk. you are the turk idiot you are the turk smell. return to croatioa. to our croatia cousins you may come our contry. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha ,bosnia we will never forgeve you. cetnik rascal FUck but fuck asshole turk stink bosnia sqhipere shqipare..turk genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead turk..ahahahahahBOSNIA WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget ww2 .albiania we kill the king , albania return to your precious mongolia….hahahahaha idiot turk and bosnian smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE KEBAB FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. russia+usa+croatia+slovak=kill bosnia…you will ww2/ tupac alive in serbia, tupac making album of serbia . fast rap tupac serbia. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of tupac… you are ppoor stink turk… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a yurt
  • tupac alive numbr one #1 in serbia ….fuck the croatia ,..FUCKk ashol turks no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur flag and contry. 2pac aliv and real strong wizard kill all the turk farm aminal with rap magic now we the serba rule .ape of the zoo presidant georg bush fukc the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and bosnia wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. serbia greattst countrey

anonymous asked:

What's the point in doing anything if we're all gonna die in the end?

Ahhhh!! First of all, something doesn’t have to permanent for it to matter. In fact if we lived forever, that would be the greatest torture possible, to me at least. I know it seems scary and I understand that everything can feel pointless! However, we are given the chance to be alive, and whether it ends or not, we’ve got a lot of time on earth to enjoy and appreciate!!!! We have this time to eat delicious french toast and love ppl and climb mountains and so much else. Living is a cycle and the reminder of death doesn’t have to be fearful, it can be a motivation to soak up everything that you can and make the most out of it. Also, we’re here to keep the earth in existence and create a better life for the generations after us!!! It’s kind of like Zoo Tycoon but u know…different…maybe not…idk. The way I see things is, I want to make as much of an impact and contribute as many great things in my life as possible. It’s fun to have the goal of a lasting legacy…so like, it all feels more meaningful. Have the idea that someone is writing a book about u, and the more things u do, the better that book will be. Personally I want a movie about my life to made whenever I die!!! Also, depending on yr beliefs, their may be the chance of an afterlife too, so that’s cool!!! Or u might be a spooky ghost on the earth for awhile <(*_*)> Sry this has been a very depressing subject dang

Things I am tired of explaining to people and will not give “nice patient” answers for:

Can vegans swallow?

Are vegans against breastfeeding?

What about plant sentience? That banana u ate has feefees

Having companion animals is the same thing as a zoo!

YOU CAN’T GET [nutrient that is easily found in plants] FROM PLANTS!!!

Carnists saying “live and let live”

Any comparison between humans and lions

Any completely unlikely hypothetical situation in which a vegan might have to use an animal product to survive

And any other illogical question I have been asked a million and one fucking times. If you cannot find an answer to your question after thinking about it logically and doing your own research, then I will answer it. But I’m not going to be mommy and coddle every damn person who wants to know why a fucking banana doesn’t have feelings or why breastfeeding your own baby isn’t animal exploitation. Fuck’s sake.

Who you should Fight in Aldnoah.Zero
  • Slaine: Why the fuck would you fight this small innocent bun. He can shoot but he's a bad shot so ur prolly gonna win but seriously why would you want to hurt him tf is wrong with u. Don't fight Slaine
  • Inaho: he has a robot eye, so you'd probably lose but in the name of all that is holy kick his mary sue ass as much as u could before your inevitable loss. FIGHT HIM
  • Asseylum: PLEASE FIGHT HER. PLEASE FIGHT HER SPOILED BRATTY ASS FIGHT HER. KILL HER. SPARE EVERYONE THE PAIN JUST SHOOT HER. And make sure it's in the heart and not in the head bcus if it's in the head she's gonna miraculously survive again. just kill her plea se
  • Lemrina: she's in a wheelchair what the fuck is wrong with you why would you hit a physically disabled person. You'd prolly lose too she'd run u over or shoot u with a gun. even if u win she's a princess the guards will kill you. Don't fight Lemrina
  • Harklight: You will lose. Esp if u have in some way gotten on Slaine's bad side. But even if u haven't you will lose, Harklight is trained and can actually aim a gun unlike slaine so yeah u ded. Also why would you wanna fight harklight? What did he do? don't fight him he's innocent.
  • Cruhteo: I kno u really wanna fight him but don't do it. Resist the temptation to firmly plant your knee in his old nasty testicles, the consequences aren't worth it.
  • Saazbaum: Don't fight him. Give him some McNuggets or any other chicken by-product and he'll help u kill asseylum.
  • Gilzeria: DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH
  • Rayregalia: Sure I guess, he's old and he's prolly gonna die mid-fight and ur gonna get crowned as the new ruler so yeah fight him.
  • Marylcian: please fight him. You're not even gonna lose the dipshit only knows kat-fights. Challenge him to a fistfight and kick his stanky fucking ass.
  • Trillram: FIGHT HIM UNDER ALL COSTS DON'T EVEN ANNOUNCE A DUEL JUST WALK UP TO HIM AND KICK HIM IN HIS PICKLE DICK SO HARD HE CAN NEVER REPRODUCE. CONGRATULATIONS YOU SAVED THE GENE POOL AND DID EVERYONE A HUGE FAVOUR.
  • Barouhcruz: You will prolly lose idk if u want to.
  • Mazuurek: Just tell him that it's a common terran ritual to beat the living shit out of others and kick his ass, he'll believe u and you'll win. Idk why u would want to fight tho but personally I hate his little "terrans are fascinating" attitude tf are we zoo animals? Also his face is rly punchable so yeah fight mazuurek's spagheti ass.
  • Nina: fight this bitch she has nasty ass pigtails
  • Calm: sure idk if u want to? You'll prolly win idk
  • Inko: Nah idk, you'll win but Inko is kinda cool.
  • Marito: dude he has ptsd and is a recovering alcoholic why would u wanna fight him. And he's gonna kick ur ass so no.
  • Rayet: u gonna lose but u know what fight her. Fight her. gather a team and fight her.
  • Magberge: i cant even spell her name but no, she's gonna win so don't fight her.
  • Klancain: Fuck this bitch up. Fuck him up. Do what Rize from tokyo ghoul would to a person she's about to eat but without actually eating him. Instead mail his organs to asseylum and cruhteo and laugh your evil ass off all the way. I mean they would catch you and kill you but it will be priceless lel.
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REMOVE CLOAKER remove cloaker

you are worst cop. you are the cop idiot you are the cop smell. return to headqaurters. to our gensec cousins you may come our safehose. you may live in the vault….ahahahaha ,crimenet we will never forgeve you. thief rascal FUck but fuck asshole cop stink crimenet wahsington dc..cop genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead cop..ahahahahahCRIMENET WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget first word bank .hihgway we kill the mendozas , mendozas return to your precious south america….hahahahaha idiot cop and gensec smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE CLOAKER FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. wolf+dallas+hoxton+chains=kill fbi…you will first world bank/ hoxton alive in safehouse, hoxton making mask of reborn . fast heist hoxton crimenet. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of hoxton… you are ppoor stink cop… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a yurt

hoxton alive numbr one #1 in safehouse ….fuck the police ,..FUCKk ashol cops no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur flag and headqarters. hoxton aliv and real strong wizard kill all the cop farm aminal with heist magic now we the heisters rule .ape of the zoo presidant edgar hoover fukc the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and fbi wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our money we will crush u lik a skull of pig. crimenet greattst criminals