i literally only did this because people were complaining about them

Drabble Challenge: 1-150

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask and you write a drabble using that sentence/prompt in your piece. Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!


  1. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”
  2. “How long have you been standing there?”
  3. “I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.”
  4. “Who gave you that black eye?”
  5. “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”
  6. “I just like proving you wrong.”
  7. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
  8. “Forget it. You fucking suck.”
  9. “Quit it or I’ll bite.”
  10. “If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to god! You’re on the couch for a month!!”
  11. “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”
  12. “I’m pregnant.”
  13. “Looks like we’re gonna be stuck here for a while.”
  14. “Take. It. Off.”
  15. “Well, you’re coming home with me whether you like it or not.”
  16. “I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.”
  17. “Stop it! It tickles!”
  18. “It’s okay to cry…”
  19. “And that’s how you ruin a life. Congratulations.”
  20. “D..did you just make that noise?”
  21. “He’s a bad kisser.”
  22. “You can scream if you want.”
  23. “I didn’t know we were keeping track.”
  24. “We’re playing checkers. If you don’t like it, leave.”
  25. “One of them’s missing.”
  26. “Save some for me.”
  27. “Oh, fuck off.”
  28. “You’re still mad?”
  29. “Come over here and make me.”
  30. “You better watch yourself.”
  31. “Eat your lunch and you wouldn’t be hungry.”
  32. “Why did we have to have kids?”
  33. “Call on Line 1”
  34. “He creeped me out. I’m not gonna lie.”
  35. “I’m done! You can fix it!”
  36. “Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”
  37. “Where did he go?”
  38. “You leave whenever you feel like it.”
  39. “I forgot I was a single parent.”
  40. “Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”
  41. “You’re going out dressed like that?”
  42. “For the hundredth time, I’m not your babysitter.”  
  43. “Frost the damn cupcakes.”
  44. “Well that’s the second biggest news I’ve heard all day.”
  45. “You look pretty hot in plaid.”  
  46. “I thought you were dead!”
  47. “I thought it was a one-night-stand…and now we’re married…”
  48. “We’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.”
  49. “Quit touching me. Your feet are cold.”
  50. “You know you want it, sweetheart.”
  51. “I’m your husband. It’s my job.”  
  52. “You just wanted them because the light up.”
  53. “That wasn’t very subtle.”
  54. “He thinks he’s a mind reader.”  
  55. “It’s just you and me tonight. I was thinking we could have a little fun.”
  56. “I don’t do hugs.”
  57. “Don’t talk anymore.”
  58. “I’m just a guy with a wife, two kids, and a Harley.”
  59. “How do I even put up with you?”
  60. “I said get rid of it.”
  61. “They didn’t just find out. They already knew!”
  62. “You’re not as quiet as you think you are.”
  63. “Can you just man up and change his diaper?”
  64. “Just don’t buy a goat. I don’t care what you do, just no goats.”
  65. “I have a secret.”
  66. “I won’t let you get hurt.”
  67. “You’re strong, baby. You have to be.”
  68. “He’s four years old!!”
  69. “I’ve had enough! I want to be alone!”
  70. “I can’t stand seeing you like this.”
  71. “Me and the boys will handle it.”
  72. “You’re competitive and so am I, and it’s going to lead to a fight.”
  73. “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”
  74. “You’re a dork, just like your father.”
  75. “Mind if I join you?”
  76. “Daddy!”
  77. “I lost our child.”
  78. “That’s my shirt. So is that..wait?”
  79. “My name isn’t Leslie…who’s Leslie?”
  80. “There’s a surprise upstairs for you.”
  81. “I’ll take care of it.”
  82. “I’m not your boss? Well then who is?”
  83. “You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”
  84. “Come on, baby, up to bed.”
  85. “They got you a present. Isn’t it sweet?”
  86. “Am I scaring you?”
  87. “Run! You said you’d work out with me!”
  88. “After everything…I’d still choose you.”
  89. “And when did you plan on telling me about this?”
  90. “Trust me.”
  91. “Scoot over a little bit, please.”
  92. “You’re so clingy, I love it.”
  93. “You didn’t just wake me up at 2am because you were ‘in the mood’.”
  94. “Did they hurt you?”
  95. “You’re cute when you’re all worried.”
  96. “Stop being grumpy. It’s lame.”
  97. “I don’t need a hero, I need a husband.”
  98. “Don’t shut me out.”
  99. “You got a cute butt.”
  100. “I just got out of the shower, I can’t dance. What if my towel falls off?”
  101. “Don’t be an asshole. Asshole.”
  102. “Do you really think I could ever replace you?”
  103. “Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.”
  104. “…or we can chill in our underwear.”
  105. “You can’t make up for it by giving me a tic-tac.”
  106. “Keep pedaling and don’t stop, okay?”
  107. “You, me, popcorn, two liter Dr. Pepper, and a movie. You in?”
  108. “Have you seen my contacts?”
  109. “Life is a highway, and I’m always drunk. So I’m not driving.”
  110. “Quit stalling. Where’s your father?”
  111. “You can’t just hug me and think everything’s okay.”
  112. “Is he coming home?”
  113. “I prefer blondes.”
  114. “No more dogs. How hard it it to understand?”
  115. “I let you win.”
  116. “I broke your nose, and I’m sorry for that. But what you’re doing isn’t fair.”
  117. “Can I do your hair?”
  118. “Your favorite superhero can’t be a villain.”
  119. “I told you not to jump on the bed!”
  120. “He’s pampering me, let him be.”
  121. “Ready or not, here I come.”
  122. “I’m worried about losing my job!”
  123. “Oh, did I scare you, big boy?”
  124. “Happy new year!”
  125. “Quit moving, I’m trying to sleep. Wait…are you…what?!”
  126. “You nap, I’ll stay awake.”
  127. “It’s turbulence. It’s normal.”
  128. “Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.”
  129. “I’ll give you a massage.”
  130. “You fell asleep in the tub?!”
  131. “Are you doodling?”
  132. “We’re not playing strip poker. I don’t care what I said when I was drunk.”
  133. “Slushies aren’t just for kids, fuck society.”
  134. “Are you scared…Then why won’t you look at the screen?”
  135. “Enough with the pillow talk, I’m tired.”
  136. “You had a nightmare, tell me what it was about so I can fix it.”
  137. “We need groceries, not just junk food. You’re worse than the kids.”
  138. “Is this our closet? Or your closet?”
  139. “If I win, you do dishes for a week.”
  140. “Fist bumps are cooler than high-fives…”
  141. “Use your words.”
  142. “Hold my hand so he gets jealous.”
  143. “Ew, your hand is sweaty.”
  144. “Get out of my face before I hit you.”
  145. “I don’t care if your 4 or 40, you don’t hit people.”
  146. “You only care about football, beer, and raking leaves.”
  147. “Look! Fireflies!”
  148. “Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”
  149. “I just need ten minutes.”
  150. *Make Your Own*

Happy Writing! Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!

Some of these will not apply to many people so pls take them with a grain of salt. Also I’ve been collecting these pretty much for the two years I’ve been in college so it’s not a guide, they’re just… random I guess.

Making friends 

Warning - specially tailored for super shy people aka me

  • There’s a thing called the ‘first week window of endless oportunities’. It’s when groups are still forming and everyone’s desperate to make friends. This is the time to put your best self forward (I’m not saying be fake, just a little extra friendly).
  • Leave. Your. Door. Open. Do it. Even if you have a roommate. Best way to make friends the first week.
  • Actually get out of your room. You’re not going to meet many people if you hole up in your room. If you have a tv room or people are watching a movie, I don’t care if you’re not interested in what they’re watching, go.
  • If you have the balls to go to the room nextdoor and introduce yourself then you probably can skip this section by all means do it!
  • But if you don’t, going from door to door asking for help with your laundry takes a lot less courage + you will learn how to do laundry. Asking to borrow something (pencil, hair tie, hair dryer) also works.
  • If you’re staying at a residence hall, ask to sit with people at lunch! Nobody is going to say no, i promise.
  • Similarly if you see someone alone, ask them to have lunch with you! 
  • Also if you meet someone you get along with, as soon as you can, ask for their number ‘so you can go to the dinning hall together’. 
  • Remember people’s names - it makes people feel like you actually care about them. I know it’s hard but make an effort. Also it just gets annoying when someone asks about your name for the fourth time. Use mnemonics if you have to.
  • Asking what someone’s major is and where they’re from is standard procedure when you meet them but it doesn’t make for an interesting conversation. Think of other questions!
  • Make sure to arrive about 10 min early to your classes. There’ll be very few people and so it’ll be easier to strike up a conversation (actually people will probably talk to you without you having to say anything which is g r e a t)
  • Say yes - as a rule of thumb, your social life should prevail over your academic life the first two weeks. This is the time where you’re not really pressed for time. Say yes to watching movies, say yes to going to lunch, say yes to going to campus events (and even to parties). Obviously don’t do anything that makes you really unconfortable but do try to step out of your comfort zone
  • Make friends with an upper-classman from your same major. Or at least be on speaking terms. Talk to them on Facebook, ask them about your major, just use any random idc excuse to introduce yourself, it doesn’t really matter how you do it.
  • Don’t go home every weekend, even if you live close by. You’ll miss out on the best of campus life and some of the most fun memories with your new friends.

Keeping your old friends

  • If you know you’re going home for the weekend, try to finish most of your assignments/studying and make time to hang out with your friends. Spending time with them is the best way to keep those friendships alive. 
  • But! Don’t worry too much if you can’t come home or make time for your friends too often, you just have to make an effort to text them regularly. It will come naturally if it’s your best friend, but don’t forget to set a reminder to text other close friends at least once every two weeks.
  • You may think you don’t care now but you will once you come home for the summer.
  • If any of your friends are staying in your hometown for college, be ready for them to get another friend group. That doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about you, but don’t be mad if they seem to have a lot more plans that don’t involve you. You can always ask to tag along some time and maybe even become friends with these people!
  • Some people you’ll just lose contact with. Don’t fret it.

Organization

  • Please print out or buy a calendar that has a whole page for each month. With boxes preferably *shameless plug*. You may think you have it all under control but there’s nothing like being able to see all your due dates, hang out plans and laundry days at a glance. (Also js but the pilot frixion are perfect to use on calendars because they’re erasable).
  • There’s so much space under your bed. UTILIZE IT.

Keep reading

It's not just the food that's revolting.

(long story)

Back in my college days, I lived on campus and ate the 20-meals-a-week meal plan at the cafeteria. It was… terrible. Seriously. I know people complain about their college cafeteria all the time, but they still gain their “freshman 15”. I lost mine. The food was disgusting. Sunday spaghetti was made from tomato sauce and Saturday’s cheap hamburgers. One week they didn’t bother ripping up the hamburgers: watery, sauce-tinted, overcooked noodles garnished with dry, leathery, two-day-old hamburger patties. It was still better than the other options. At first, they had a “make your own pizza” line, but removed it because everyone was using it, and “bread isn’t cheap.” I remember seeing a real salad in their “healthy eats” line and getting excited, because it’s hard to screw up salads, only to realize that it was literally floating in oil. The salad on the actual salad bar was not an option; it was changed out every morning, whether it needed it or not. Oh, sorry, I meant the ice in the salad bar. Not the salad, no. A student wrote his initials in the tuna and it remained for a solid week. Sometimes the salad would grow its own salad.

They had a big board set up for student complaints, and they would write responses back. Oddly enough, the board rarely had bad things to say; the manager, may he be haunted by a thousand bedbugs, confessed that he didn’t have time to answer every complaint, but he did read every one, and took the complaints into consideration. And, as far as we could tell, threw away all the ones he didn’t like.

Keep reading

Here’s the thing.

I am a transgender man (see photo of my mug for context).

I love all trans people and I love non binary people. But lately some of my trans spaces (both on the web and irl) that are mainly non binary have started to feel a little hostile.

I want to make something perfectly clear before I continue - I love and respect non binary people, I think their genders are valid and I am in no way suggesting they are any less important that myself or any other binary trans person. I also need you to understand that this isn’t meant to be a post calling out non binary people at all, it is just me talking about my personal experiences in the hope that it can get people to be a little more considerate sometimes?

In university spaces, it seems that there is a growing population of non binary people that tends to dominate trans groups. Which is good in lots of ways, especially since it shows how this generation has become much more relaxed and aware that gender is a construct and fluidity is key. However, amongst people I know there is a lot of ‘ew gross men’, or 'ew gross trans men that are masculine’, while at the same time being predominantly DFAB populations.

Now trust me, I very much understand the dislike a lot of dfab trans people have of men. A lot of us are survivors and I think that does play a big part in how we feel about the gender overall. Not to mention it is not uncommon for men to be, for lack of a better word- wankers. However, I don’t think people consider trans men when we are talking about this.

Making a comment like 'ew men are so fucking gross’ to a room of trans people means that to a trans man you are saying one of two things - 1) you are gross, or 2) you aren’t gross because you’re not a Real Man, and you are excluded from this statement because you are and always will be, partly a woman. Even now I feel uncomfortable 'complaining’ about this. I have to remind myself that just as suggesting that a trans woman is somehow different to other women would be considered incredibly offensive, so is it for trans men.

I didn’t realise how much this stuff affected me until it did. Constantly being around people that talk about, how body hair on men is gross, masculinity is by default toxic, making jokes about my masculinity being toxic when I excitedly tell people that I’ve started going to the gym and its making me feel better about my body. No, it’s not funny. It’s MY dysphoria I’m trying to ease. I as a trans person want to feel supported and loved when I do things that have a chance of making me feel good about my body.

It hit me like a brick wall when I realised how much it had affected me. I was with my partner, and was trying to have sex, but I just broke down. I felt so incredibly disgusted with my body and myself. So much hair, so masculine. The noises I made, gross. The way I touched him, creepy. I couldn’t get out of my head the idea that later in life he would talk to people about how gross and unshaven I was, just like I had heard friends describe ex boyfriends so many times before.

I felt cheated because these were the changes I WANTED my body to make. But now they felt ruined. Spoiled.
It was after that realisation that I decided I had to get out. I stopped going to some of student socials and instead started attending a group for older trans people. It was so refreshing to meet other trans men for once (just because I rarely meet them at uni, and it was nice to talk to someone similar.) It was awesome to be around people who weren’t shitty about trans people being stealth (as I remember I once was.)

There are some important things to take away from all of this:

1) Telling trans boys and men that they are disgusting for wanting to be like men will only destroy self esteem and feed into the toxic environment that a lot of cis boys grow up in.

2) Non binary people are extremely valid and awesome, but also must accept they have a responsibility to cultivate a supportive and friendly atmosphere in spaces where they are dominant (I put this in here for university spaces especially)

3) Laughing at a trans man/woman for being excessively masc/fem presenting if you are a dfab nb person who mainly presents as fem or androgynous is facetious and not respecting that they may have to present that way to stay safe, (especially in the case of trans women that may be more 'obviously trans’) and that despite suffering prejudice in many ways, the one thing you are not realistically facing is street violence and such because you inevitably are not going to be clocked as trans. (which yes, does NOT make your transness invalid but we have to respect the different struggles people in our community face.)

4) Someone being stealth does not mean they are adhering to 'toxic gender roles’. It means they are either 1) trying to be safe or 2) surprise surprise they want to live their life as the gender they identify with. Trans people are not less legitimately trans because you think they are 'acting cis’.

5) Being a binary trans person does not give you privilege over nb people. Like seriously, trans women are literally the most likely to be murdered. Don’t be a dick. Erasure is a problem yes but it’s not the same. I read names out at the TDOR vigil and pretty much all of them were trans women of colour. Respect that. Help the community. This isn’t about scoring points over who has it the shittiest.

6) The idea that the only good kinda of trans men are 'soft sensitive kinda trans masc guys that don’t have surgeries and shave all their body hair’ is shitty and offensive (tho that kind of trans man is totally valid, that not what i mean). Its shitty because one you’re sexualising them either as more childlike or more feminine (both is rude, former is creepy), but its perpetuating the idea that trans men aren’t really men and the best ones are the ones that YOU think still kinda look suitably enough like women.

100 Reasons to Love Kim Namjoon

today is my 3 year anniversary of loving namjoon and so here’s 100 reasons everyone should love him !!!!!!!

  1. he gave up a stable future of studying and going to college (despite being so smart) to risk everything and pursue his dream of becoming a rapper
  2. had to fight criticism for being an ‘idol’ rapper and struggled for years with his decision and identity
  3. when he says he loves himself !!!!
  4. never forget this cute tummy flash !!!!!!!!
  5. he loves all his members so much sosososo much, he always puts them before himself 
  6. WHEN HE’S LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND HE STARTS SEAL CLAPPING
  7. that one time tae came to sleep next to namjoon and namjoon sleepily held tae’s hand and wouldn’t let go
  8. his signature move when he takes his two index fingers and covers one of his eyes while looking deadass into the camera
  9. HIS DOE SHAPED PRETTY CHOCOLATE BROWN EYES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  10. professional self-dragger, literally willingly drags his own ass
  11. his mixtape release in 2015, every song was so important and deep and okay, it’s largely forgotten because of yoongi’s mixtape but it has so much emotion and meaning behind every song
  12. he loveloveloves dogs !
  13. literally has looked like the best thing the world has to offer no matter what rainbow ass hair color bighit sticks him with
  14. that golden age when his hair was black when will that look come back from the war ://////////
  15. you know that thing he does when he’s been rapping and suddenly breaks out into a smile and scrunches his nose and winks with one eye mmmmmmmmokay !!!!
  16. his angry rap when his neck veins show because he’s literally putting his all into it
  17. the way he looks in beanies !!!!!!!!! with one ear tucked in and the other sticking out
  18. the mole on the left side right under his jawline 
  19. the fact that he literally read books on philosophy for hyyh
  20. THE WAY !!!!!!!!! HE LOOKS !!!!!!!!!!!! IN A SUIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  21. that time his speaker wasn’t working and he yelled at it and it started to work, Legends Only
  22. the fact that he isn’t afraid to try out weird kinds of fashion and won’t hear shit about it
  23. has been known to support LGBT since 2012
  24. THAT TIME BTS WERE IN ISAC IN 2015 AND HE WAS EVERY MEMBER’S HYPE MAN 
  25. when he’s too lazy to wear contacts so he wears his thick black rimmed glasses :’(((((((((((
  26. that time he had a wardrobe malfunction and had his whole shirt ripped off during that dance break and he did the whole performance holding up the sorry remains of his shirt 
  27. the fact that kim namjoon invented dimples !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no really he did
  28. how he is literally incapable of doing a fan sign without making it a display of how much aegyo he can fit in any given span of time and then immediately be shy and embarrassed about it
  29. 6 feet tall, he is 6 feet tall also don’t forget that he is literally the eiffel tower because nothing is taller than 6 feet just sayin
  30. that amazing and blessed time he had silver hair and my heart literally exploded !!!!!!!!!!!
  31. HIS PRETTY PINK POUTY PLUSH PERFECT LIPS 
  32. that time bts was doing rainism and he was the only one who didn’t know all the moves and messed up but pulled it off confidently in the end
  33. he literally loves his mom so much i’m :’(((((((
  34. HIS ALL BLACK OUTFITS AND THE WAY HE LOOKS WHEN HE WEARS ALL BLACK AND THE WAY ALL BLACK LOOKS ON HIM AND -
  35. the fact that every time someone tells him to do a freestyle dance, it’s literally the same awkward robotic jerky dance with the failing arms and legs since 2013
  36. when he tries to sing even though the members laugh at him
  37. HE JUST WANTS TO CATCH CRABS FOR GOODNESS SAKE
  38. his cute soft pretty pink knees :’))))))))))
  39. in the fire era when he had that acorn haircut and pulled that shit off when will your fave ever
  40. he reads, he has an IQ of 148, he was the nation’s top 1% in 5 subjects in high school, he -
  41. his smile his beautiful glorious soft glowing stunning breathtaking smile that smile that you only have the privilege of seeing someone have one in a million times in your life, the kind of smile that could change the world
  42. the way he looks in a choker the way he looks in a choker the way he looks in a chok-
  43. okay !!!!!!!!!! but his cute squishy tiny nose so kissable n someone please bop it and pinch it and it’s soosososo cute 
  44. the way he gets his hands inky and dirty every single fan sign every single darn one !!!!!!!!!!!! why are they dirty? what is he doing ?????
  45. THE AUDACITY HE HAS TO WINK AND BITE LIPS AT CAMERAS THE SHEER AUDACITY
  46. the way his arms look in sleeveless tops his arms !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  47. the way he looks in snapbacks mmmmmmmmmmmm
  48. that time on running man when everyone was supposed to have as many boxes as possible and he literally got his box snatched from his hands and he tripped over nothing he’s the dorkiest softest boy -
  49. SAILORMON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  50. that time he wore the army khakis and outfit and i just ://////// oh my god
  51. his side profile his perfect gorgeous beautiful angelic side profile !!!!
  52. his obsession with ryan and how happy he got when jimin got him a ryan cake for his birthday fkdsfhgfd
  53. legs for days !!!!!!!!!!!!!
  54. that time namjoon was a minion for halloween 
  55. “I had to dance to survive in this cold, cruel world.”
  56. his cute outfit in the baepsae dance practice video :((((((((((
  57. he looks sosoososososo unbeliveably beautiful bare faced i just love him so much 
  58. that time during the hyyh prologue shooting when all the members were piling onto him and he yelled ‘MY BALLS, MAN’
  59. his fucnkgn !!!!!!!!!! puma photoshoot binch !!!!!!!!!!!
  60. the fact that he sang expensive girl and took the fact that he didn’t get a grammy for it like a man :///
  61. that time they won their first award in 2015 and he was cleARLY CRYING but denied it like “i’m not crying”
  62. THAT TIME HE LITERALLY DESCRIBED HIS ERECTION ON LIVE RADIO AIR IN ENGLISH 
  63. that one time !!!!!!!!!!!!!! bts had an outdoor performance and his white shirt got sososososooso sweaty it was basically stuck to him and see through if you don’t know what i’m talking about then goodbye
  64. those RARE times when he smiles and sticks his tongue out at the same time !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  65. that time he was complaining about jungkook and the fruit flies and the weird as shit way he pronounced ‘vaccuum’
  66. his messy friendship with jackson 
  67. the fact that he apologized for the mistakes he has made in the past and made no excuses about them 
  68. award for having the world’s cutest and flattest tushy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  69. i don’t know if anyone noticed but the way he holds his fingers when he’s explaining something like he puts them in awkward bent angles and they’re really long and expressive i just looooovvveeeee
  70. that time he was doing a duet with this female singer for a show and he picked her up from the airport and held a sign with her name and got shy around her he’s the biggest gentleman DDDD:
  71. deep husky voice like shots of pure liquid gold sends shivers down my spine ://////////
  72.  KIM DAILY
  73. that time he held a tiny itty bitty baby frog on his index finger i dont know why it was so cute of him i just !!!
  74. sweaty namjoon when namjoon sweats the sweat namjoon produces 
  75. that time he tried to twerk but ‘something keeps dangling’
  76. when !!!!!!!!!! he wears tight pants and his thighs are almost bursting out of his pants jdfkkhkj
  77. the way he says ‘baby’
  78. EVERY ‘WHAT AM I TO YOU’ PERFORMANCE HE’S EVER DONE
  79. that time he was asked to pick between solo and bts and didn’t hesitate for a microsecond before saying bts
  80. THAT TIME NAMJOON DID THIS GUITAR ACOUSTIC WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND HE RAPPED SO SWEETLY MY HEART OVERFLOWED
  81. taught himself english by listening to 10 english dvds 10 times over 3 years 
  82. special thank you to every namjoon stylist who made him wear low cut shirts
  83. THE WAY HE LOOKS WEARING A MASSIVE HOODIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  84. ‘and i’m sexy like a porn star’
  85. accepts and settles for being the least popular bts member
  86. the way he looks when he wears headbands 
  87. when his sleeves are super long so he has sweater paws and his pretty fingers stick out slightly jdsfkshgkjfmncvb
  88. sub par body rolls that can still make you squirm and cry :////////
  89. once when he was the first in a lineup in a fan sign he told a fan ‘now you’ve practiced on me, you can do this in front of your real bias’
  90. got to write in “힙합하다 1” (‘This is Hip Hop 1: South Korea, Hip Hop and Life’) which is a hip hop book for 42 top korean hip hop artists
  91. THAT TINY MOLE BELOW HIS BOTTOM LIP THAT YOU CAN ONLY SEE IF HE SMILES REALLY WIDE
  92. the way he looks in a tie ohohohoohohoho my gosh !!!!!!!!!!!!!
  93. that time in the ariport the cameraman said ‘the girls love you guys’ and namjoon was like ‘thanks, we love you too’
  94. the way he wrote about the sunset in his diary when he went to dubai 
  95. HE HAS BENDY ARMS !!!!!!!!! NO REALLY I SWEAR THEY BEND BACKWARDS 
  96. he once told a fan ‘sorry’ when she told him she got him photocard
  97. he said that he wanted to know what it was like going to college and sometimes he feels like he missed out on that experience :///
  98. can you believe namjoon invented having pretty hands??????? Amazing
  99. he cares sosooso much about other people he’s always wondering how his fans are doing, what they feel like, always giving advice, always learning and growing, never stopping
  100. “I’m still existing, still breathing. Even though I keep looking forward and run, sometimes I still look back. The path in front and behind are still far, but even so, if the people who look at me are still dreaming and picking up their strengths, that alone makes me feel good. It’s okay to live this way, breaking down, getting hurt and looking back at the past. I will live. I am living like this. Me. Us.”

anonymous asked:

the gay kiss in svtfoe is like 1 sec long i wish you guys would stop gaslighting people with this being good rep when the entire second season is given over to a completely unnecessary supposedly heterosexual love triangle, because they won't ever canonize marco as a girl. like seriously. pretending this is great rep has consequences, it alienates fans and it tells disney and other corporations they can throw us scraps and that they don't need to try to get our pink dollars. Stop.

Okay.

First of all, I can do whatever I want. Second of all, I can do whatever I want. And third, I can do whatever I want.

Okay? Glad we established that. With that out of the way, I’m gonna be very clear with people like you who keep telling me and other people like what we should want, need and demand. 

Star has done a lot in terms of destroying gender roles and other stereotypes and taboos for kids and young people out there. Its characters are not flat and they have their own personalities, their own lives and agency, which don’t conform to gender norms as they have been force-fed to us by society. Breaking this kind of stereotypes is gonna be so liberating for so many kids. For example:

  • You don’t have to be girly to be a girl (Janna is into a lot of creepy and icky stuff usually considered boyish, just to mention someone)
  • Being feminine doesn’t define your gender (Marco, and I’m gonna get back to you on this)
  • Having trouble managing your anger does not make you a bad person (Tom. who is working so hard to keep it under control and improve because he wants to be better)
  • You can have a bunch of mixed, apparently contradicting traits, and that doesn’t make you less worthy of the gender you identify with (Star is very girly and likes cute stuff but still kicks ass and loves every second of it)
  • Boys can be affectionate with other boys (if we assume, based on what we know at the moment, that Marco identifies as a boy, and again, I’ll get back to you on that), and that’s okay (Marco and Tom, even though I still think the whole Friendenemies episode was very homoerotic)

Originally posted by mettatonexox

I’m really grateful for this new wave of cartoons (such as Star vs The Forces of Evil, Gravity Falls or Steven Universe). Different shows are exploring different themes from different angles, and that doesn’t mean that one is necessarily above the other. Star may not be exploring queerness in full (like Steven Universe does, for example), more like touching upon its surface, but it is still playing a role in its normalisation.

Never did I say that the infamous 1-second gay kiss was good rep. For me to call it rep, I would need it to feature at least characters whose names we know. But you know what? I’m okay with it being something in the background and I don’t consider it gaslighting, because as far as I know, the show did not make a big deal out of it, they did not announce “Hey! We are giving you guys gay rep! Look at all the diversity we’re including!”. I actually heard nothing from the show-runners. It was the media that blew up and made a huge deal out of it because of some stupid parents’ reaction. The whole thing was a nice detail that acknowledged the existence of gay people and made an effort to normalise queerness by showing them doing something as mundane as going to a concert with their partners. Period.

And on that note, I want to add that yes, more than this is desirable and it’s okay (it’s very important, actually!) to ask for proper representation. But we can’t close our eyes to the stuff that’s already come our way just because it’s not as much as we wanted it to be. Things take time. Society is still coming to terms with LGBT+ people, and rushing them is only gonna make them clam up and reject any notion of it. Hell, parents wanted to take Star out of Disney XD because they were outraged by a 1-sec cartoon gay kiss! Even though I’m tired of waiting, I see that Disney is treading on thin ice with its more conservative audience and has to carefully plan its every step. And they are still making progress. Slowly, but surely.

We got Beauty and the Beast with gay LeFou (even though I still think it should have been the clock and the candelabra), despite the foreseeable boicot from many people. I’m not saying “we’re good, we can stop demanding stuff from show-runners and movie directors”, I’m saying, “let’s appreciate the progress we’re making while aiming for more”. We’ve come a long way since Disney’s massive no-homo when High School Musical gave a girlfriend to Ryan, literally the gayest man alive in the Disney Universe.

And about the “unnecessary heterosexual love triangle”: I dunno, anon, I’m a storyteller and I saw it coming for a long time. The show built up to that point. It’s not like they pulled it out of their asses. Would I have wanted it to be a love square featuring Tom? Why yes, absolutely, but oh well. It still makes sense in the story they’re telling and it’s integrated in the plot. It would have been weird if Marco, who had been crushing on Jackie since Day 1, had just moved on from her without thinking twice.

Originally posted by cosmicstimmer

Now, about Trans!Marco: I’m gonna be very honest with how I view it, and I’ll also let you know that I’m transgender myself (non-binary pal here, hey, how are ya), as well as a transgender rights activist and lecturer, so I know what I’m talking about. I have nothing against the Trans!Marco fannon, obviously. I think some seed has been planted in the show and as of now, people can make of it what they will. I’d be thrilled and on board if there were any confirmation from TPTB. But I’m not taking it as anymore than that for now, and I’ll entertain both Trans!Marco and Cis!Marco notions. Why?

Yes, Marco has been shown as Princess Marco several times already, pronouns have been changed to feminine and nobody has questioned Marco’s new status during those times. However, Marco hasn’t expressed a particular preference for being treated as a girl (true, no preference for masculine treatment has been expressed either, so we’re kind of in a neutral zone I guess?). I mean, you see Marco wearing dresses and a wig with no complain, as well as being treated as a girl, but after that episode is over, you don’t really see Marco displaying any signs of discomfort with gender identity or pronouns or disphoria or gender expression or anything like that. Actually, the character’s development continues as it was before that happened (anybody else remembers that episode where Marco lives on a different dimension for 16 years and embraces every masculinity trope under the sun?). 

Originally posted by soyalexnajera

Now I’m not saying you have to meet a bunch of requirements to be trans (I’m no trans gatekeeper), but these are the kind of things that usually give it away when we’re talking about someone else’s experience, since we are not inside their head. 

Yes, Marco does possess some traits traditionally associated with femininity (like spending hours getting ready for the date with Jackie), but they’re vague enough that they could mean something or nothing at all (like I said, the show does a lot to destroy gender roles). I feel like I can’t really call it for sure based on that. With how indifferent Marco seems to be to different pronouns, I’d actually say that there’s higher chances this character falls somewhere in the non-binary spectrum, rather than identifying as a girl. This is, of course, my personal opinion, and I might be wrong. But it goes to show that the hinting done in the show has been so subtle for now that it could go either way, and so, I fail to see why we should get angry that Marco isn’t being treated as a girl at the moment.

Just my two cents.

time for some KARASUNO HEADCANONS

  • it’s daichi the first one to invite the whole team to his house for the weekend
  • kageyama’s never stayed at someone else’s ever in his life. he sends a text to the first years’ chat group, asking what he should do, and panics  when tsukishima tells him that he’s never gonna be invited again if he doesn’t behave. which is obviously not true, but kageyama doesn’t know that and spends the night before googling what people usually do at sleepovers
  • asahi is that guy who always brings food, but they’re not those kind of snacks most teenagers like. they’re those low-fat, no sugar snacks or slices of fruits, and diet drinks. nobody complains, though. kageyama is actually happy to eat them, and hinata is super excited because he did not know coke zero and diet coke existed
  • noya and tanaka sometimes try to convince everyone to drink some booze, but they almost never succeed, and the only time daichi agrees (because they’re at noya’s and noya’s grandpa insists they try the good wine), yamaguchi gets drunk with just one glass and spends the rest of the night either demanding cuddles (especially from tsukishima) or crying because hinata’s burning (”no, yamaguchi, that’s the natural color of his hair, remember?)
  • daichi always suggests they watch movies. or maybe documenta– “NO”
  • tsukishima once tells them to spend the night at his house. everyone thinks he’s joking, but when yamaguchi confirms it, the team’s shocked. dachi and suga almost tear up, too proud and too touched that even tsukishima is doing this. (little did they know that he’s just tired of having his mom and his brother insist he invites his teammates too). akiteru spends the entire time asking karasuno stuff about his brother. kei vows to himself to never do this again
  • when it’s hinata’s turn, he invites yachi too. she’s part of the group, ofc it’s only normal for her to take part in their bonding nights, but s-s-she’s a g-girl, nobody before him had the guts to ask her. she’s not sleeping there with them, of course, but she stays until it’s bedtime. yamaguchi’s too stiff because yachi is super cute in casual outfits. noya and tanaka mope because kiyoko-san isn’t there. kageyama gets startled when all of a sudden another hinata (natsu) pops up in the living room. he gets confused (and is fascinated, extremely fascinated) everytime he sees small hinata and smaller hinata interact with each other. later that night, at around 3 am, he realises with mild horror that it’s because the scene’s just too adorable
  • kiyoko actually shows up only when they’re at suga’s. noya, tanaka and yachi literally cry their hearts out because she’s wearing a skirt. them legs. is this paradise? 
  • sometimes they play mario kart and it always ends with someone hurt. daichi and suga are so competitive, they play dirty, suga sneezes on daichi’s face on purpose just to beat him. kageyama is good, always placing in the best four. tsukishima cannot drive ohmygod he always goes off the road or worse, he falls down, fuck this game. noya always gets first somehow. also, ennoshita, narita and kinoshita team up against tanaka (they throw red/blue/whatever color shells only whenever tanaka’s first). hinata always chooses underground characters, and looks extremely proud when he doesn’t come last. tsukishima is only living for the day hinata will pick up toad, it’ll be hilarious. of course, asahi spends half the time being afraid/screaming/mumbling incoherently until he falls
  • everyone agrees that the best host is tanaka. when they’re at the tanaka’s they get treated like princes (”and here i thought you were treated like this everyday, ousama” “shut up, tsukishima”)
  • ennoshita gets banned, he’s never holding another sleepover ever after the disaster with the 100 pork buns challenge. they had to clean the house after puking all over the floor. never ever ever again.
The Girlfriend Tag

Originally posted by arophan

Imagine: You and Dan decide to give the fans what they want, and cute video of the internents favourite couple

A/N: I know this isn’t any thing about marvel but I couldn’t help myself, I’ve been watching all of Dan and hil’s videos and getting so many feelis. I just had to. Also I really should be doinf my German coursework, bit too late, Dan is more important

Warnings: Some swearing, implied smut but just fluff really

Word Count: 1955 (got a little carried away)


“Hello internet” Dan starts off with his iconic opener

“Today, I am joined by the wonderful Y/N, who you may also know as my girlfriend!” He exclaimed, giving out a laugh as your cue to jump into the camera view.

“Hey guys” You giggled, getting comfortable next to Dan

“Now you may be wondering what original video I have for you today, and let me tell you, it doesn’t get more original than this”

“We are doing the girlfriend tag!” You almost shouted, causing Dan to let out a rather loud groan.

“Jeez, lets tone it now my channel isn’t used to your happy attitude just yet” He joked, covering his ears

“Just because you literally only have the feeling of embarrassment, doesn’t mean I can’t be happy” You fire back, sending a smirk in his direction.

“Oh God, too much sass. I want Phil back” Your dork of a boyfriend joked

“Shut up, we kind of have a part of Phil with us now” You explained

“Really how so?” Dan played along

“Well, he did do the questions for us to answer”

“God knows what kind of weird stuff he has put in here; I don’t know if you guys have noticed but Phil is like obsessed with sharing our relationship with others. If he isn’t taking sneaky photos of us and tweeting them, then he is jumping into a room when we are together doing a live stream of us.”

As Dan continued to talk about his best friend, you couldn’t help but admire his perfect features. His big, wide smile that would light up a room. His unusually large dimple that you found so adorable. How he is constantly touching and checking if his hair looks okay, which of course it does. And his dark drowns eyes, that you could stare into for days.

“..Y/n?” You were abruptly ripped out of your thoughts by Dan waving a hand in front of your face

“Sorry” You blushed, red staining your cheeks as you realised Dan caught you staring at him and will most definitely keep this part in his video, because, well let’s face it, a bit of an arse.

“What were you so caught up about?”

“Just admiring the view” You jokingly sent back and big wink. Now it was Dan’s’ turn to blush, whist also letting out a laugh

“That was so cringe, I might just have to take it out of the video.” Dan spoke to the camera; he was definitely not taking that part out.

“Right so to start this video I’m going to put my hand into the hat and pull out a question. The questions are basically letting you guys know even more about our relationship and hopefully teaching us a bit more about each other” Dan explained.

“Ohhhh can I go first?” You excitedly asked. You couldn’t help it, there was something so fun about doing a video with your boyfriend.

“Of course”

You dove your hand into the hat, grabbing the first folded piece of paper you felt and pulled it out.

“Alright it says, ‘Where was our first kiss?’” For the second time you felt your cheeks heat up.

“I’m going to be so red this whole video, reckon you could like put a filter on me to make me look better?” You joked, however it wasn’t such a bad idea.

Dan laughed, before saying

“So do you want to answer or me?”

“You do it” You always loved hearing Dan talk about your relationship

“Alright, I remember it was our second date and we were just hanging in the living room eating pizza talking after just finishing up on the X-box. I was so nervous, just thinking about leaning in and possibly facing rejection and ruining it all. But then you made a joke out about anime and I knew I had to do it before someone else snatched you away” Dan smiled at the memory, you beaming right back at him.

“Then he just leant in and kissed me, obviously I didn’t turn down that face and now here we are two years later” You finished, butterflies erupting in your stomach at the fond memory.

“OK, next question” Dan stuck his hand in the hat rather ungracefully causing a few questions to topple out.

“Shit” he mumbled, throwing back three in the hat and reading out the remaining one on the floor.

“Finish this sentence ‘My girlfriend is a complete…..’” Dan stopped to think for a minute, you couldn’t help but anxiously wait for what he was going to say

“…..twat” He finally spoke. This caused you both to simultaneous burst out into a fit of laughter, clutching your stomach you couldn’t be surprised at what Dan said, it was so him. You knew Dan loved you with everything he had, it was very obvious. You guys didn’t have a mushy gushy relationship, it was more full of lots of jokes and banter, you guys were basically best friends,

“You are such and arse, why am I dating you?” You tried to sound upset, but the smile that you couldn’t wipe off your face gave it all away.

“You loveeeeee me really” He rather obnoxiously sung

“Actually Babe, I’m secretly in love with Phil and I only come round to your house on the chance that I will see my one true love” You lied, not helping but feel a bit weird by saying you like Phil, who was basically like a brother to you.

“That’s just mean, and a little gross” He complained

“Yeah I know; I have no clue why I said it” you giggled

“Right, my turn” You plunged your hand into the hat, pulling one out to read.

“‘Who wears the pants in the relationship?’ Ohh that’s hard” You thought.

“I know my answer” Dan said confidently

“Really? Alright let’s say our answers on three. One, two, three.”

This caused both of you to say ‘me’ at the same time.

“You’re kidding me right?” You said in disbelief to Dan

“What? Love, I’m always making the decisions”

“Babe, I literally always have to order for us at the cinema because you’re ‘too awkward to talk to new people’”

“Alright, alright I’ll give you that one, no need to share all my secrets on my channel”

Dan took out another piece of paper from the hat, causing yet again one to fall out.

“God, it’s clear to see who the clumsiest one of us is. And that’s hard because I could fall over standing still” You poked out at Dan.
“Leave me alone, you are so mean. So it says, ohhh this is interesting, ‘who is more jealous’?” Dan read.

“Ohhh, that is” You both took a minute to think about it, recalling moments when the other has been jealous. Most of these moments resulting in some seriously fun times together, and just by looking at Dan and the lazy smirk he wore you knew he was thinking about them. You kicked him in the shins, under the view of the camera causing him to jump a little, then answering.

“I feel like you get jealous more often, but it’s not as intense as when I get jealous.”
“Hmmm, yeah I reckon that’s fair to say.” You repeated, it wasn’t hard constantly having beautiful girls running up to your boyfriend, telling him how hot and sometimes the daring ones flirting with him. However, it had happened a few times when we were hanging around with Dan’s friends and one flirts with you, he gets mad.

“We only have a couple questions left” You sadly exclaimed, not wanting this video to be over.

“Let’s hope we haven’t saved the weirdest till last then!” Dan deadpanned

Grabbing one of the last pieces of paper you unfold it and read,

“‘what do I find really fun, that no one else really does?’” You laughed lightly at this weird question, thinking Dan would need a while on this one.

“You watch pimple popping videos” He answered straight away. You sat there with your mouth hanging open, a blush adorned on your cheeks,

“How did you know that? I always try to keep it on the down low” You exclaimed, shocked and slightly embarrassed that he knew

“Sweetheart, we’ve been going out for 2 years, we’ve been living together for 1, there is little that I don’t know about you”

“That’s kind of creepy and really cute at the same time. I knew I chose you for a reason” You hummed

“I’m not some Pokémon woman, don’t objectify me like that” He fired back

“Shut up and read the last question. Because as much as I love doing videos with you I need to cook us dinner, and get it done so it’s ready when Phil comes back from visiting his family.

“Aw look at you, you are literally the only reason we have survived this long. Anyway, here we go and I won’t knock out another question this time.” He took his time in dramatically picking out the question.

“Oh for god’s sake Phil, he’s such a child. It says ‘when did the two of you first sleep together?’”

A deep shade of red engulfs your face and you looked over at Dan with your mouth wide.

“What the hell, he did not just ask that?” You said shocked.

“Yeah you’re right, I’m joking. Lol” Dan admits, handing over the question for you to read aloud.

“It says, ‘Who/When fist said I love You?’ Now that is a cute question” You cooed, recalled that cherished memory that you held very close to your heart.

“Well, I don’t want to spill all the beans about our relationship just yet, so all that you guys will be knowing is that, Y/N said it first. Maybe we can do another gushy relationship story about that some other time. But for now that’s it.” Dan finished off the video and looked at you to continue.

“Thanks guys for watching hope you enjoyed it, and if you did please subscribe and request some more ideas of what we can do next. Byeeee” You finished

“That was so much fun” You turned to Dan, who was already lovingly gazing at you.

“You know I love you right?” He spoke

“Of course, and you know I love you too, so much” You replied inching your face closer to his.

“You know when you told me you loved me, when we were just lying in bed cuddling watching Breaking Bad, I think that that’s the happiest I’ve ever felt.” He confessed. As much as you loved the banter and jokes in this relationship, nothing felt better than Dan confessing his feelings to your, he really did complete you.

“I was so nervous that I had said it too soon, but I’m so glad one of us plucked up the courage to say it” You murmured, now lips a mere centimeter away from each other.

Dan quickly closed the gap between the two of you and soon had his hand on the back of your head pulling you closer. Automatically you brought your hands up to caress his cheeks and you two shared one of the most passionate kisses in your relationship.

Dan gently pushed you back onto the bed and slipped his hand down to your waist, when you suddenly remembered something.

“Dan the camera is still on!”

“Oh fuck yeah, thank God it isn’t a live stream” He jumped up to turn the camera off, leaving it on the side to edit later.

But he only had one thought on his mind now. You. Jumping back next to you on the bed you two finished off what you had started

I keep thinking about that post I saw where people were like “Harry had a fortune why didn’t he give some to the Weasleys?!??!?” and I mean barring the fact that Molly and Arthur Weasley would never accept money from AN ACTUAL CHILD did no one–no one AT ALL–remember the scene in The Goblet of Fire where Harry buys Ron and Hermione as well as himself omnioculars (where it was mentioned that Ron wanted them but couldn’t afford them and he literally didn’t ask for them) and Ron scooped up the Leprechaun money and gave it to Harry to pay him back immediately, even though he didn’t know the money would disappear in an hour??? He wanted to repay that debt he saw, even if Harry didn’t mind shelling out ten galleons for a friend that had invited both he and Hermione on what was probably an expensive trip for them. THAT WAS A THING THAT HAPPENED.

Not to mention: To my recollection, Harry had to insist that Fred and George take the money he won for their shop. George even says “You gave us our start up loan, we haven’t forgotten.” They consider it a loan. And they insist that Harry never has to pay because of that.

And I mean, not only are you people saying that A CHILD should give his money away, but you’re also slapping Molly and Arthur in the face (which, how FUCKING dare you?!). Molly and Arthur may have complained and worried about lack of money, but they never asked for anything. They made it work. And seeing how their children react to money (”this is a loan” and “I’ve paid you back for a gift because the gift is expensive”), it’s obvious that they got their pride from their parents.

Harry could offer to pay Molly room and board, and I have no doubt in my mind that she would say “Oh, absolutely not, dear. You’re family. :)” Harry could buy a muggle trinket for Arthur, and I have no doubt in my mind that Arthur would say, “Splendid! How curious! Oh, how much do I owe you, Harry?” before it even occurred to him that it was a gift. Harry could offer to help Ron and Hermione out of a financial jam, and I have no doubt that Ron would say, “No, we’ll figure something out,” and Hermione would let Ron shift their finances around like he saw his parents do to make it through because she knows how important it is for him to stand on his own two feet.

People say “Harry could have given the Weasleys some of his fortune!” without remembering that Fred and George didn’t want to accept Harry’s tournament earnings, that Ron felt uncomfortable getting an expensive gift from his friend and paid him back for it, that the entire family was fine with hand-me-downs from clothes to actual wands, and they complained but they never expected and actually disliked hand-outs from wealthier friends. It is actually possible to complain for the sake of getting your negative thoughts out and not because you want something.

The Weasleys probably only accept Harry’s money once he marries Ginny, and only because he says “Please, this is something I need to do.” And they only accept it for things they deem necessary. “Well, I suppose we could do with new wallpaper,” Molly says begrudgingly, but she makes Harry help her pick it out so it feels more like family helping family than her son-in-law paying for something. “Well, I guess we did need a new car,” Arthur says begrudgingly, because Harry has always remembered how he and Ron crashed the old family car and the replacement they’d gotten was puffing its last, and he’d made sure to get an older model in case Arthur tried to say it was too expensive. “Well, I guess I did need a new cauldron,” Ron says begrudgingly because he had accidentally melted a hole through his old one, and it was a hand-me-down from Charlie to boot.

POPULAR TEXT POSTS + ASK MEME  (  PART 3  )

❛ i need a reasonable paying job, something like $2,000 an hour. nothing too wild. ❜
❛ idc (i do care) ❜
❛ ‘are you taken?’ yes bitch, taken for granted ❜
❛ half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half is, well, an asshole ❜
❛ you’re yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????? ❜
❛ you will find your home, you will find your place. you will find your people. give it a little bit of time but it will happen. ❜
❛ in order lead a happy life i’m gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit. ❜
❛ any body else here not good at anything??? ❜
❛ you can’t force people to appreciate you. ❜
❛ *puts on baseball cap* i am the dad now… ❜
❛ i fake smart.. like i’m honestly a dumbass idk shit but i know how to seem like i do.. i’m smart-passing.. ❜
❛ every straight woman who ever called her platonic friend her ‘girlfriend’ owes me $50 ❜
❛ i am a professional at misreading tones and overreacting to problems that most likely don’t exist ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life, i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ you can’t cure sadnesses with a shower but honestly there is no purer place to suffer ❜
❛ patiently waiting for a kind soul to come along and make everything a little softer, brighter. ❜
❛ honestly i don’t even play an active role in my life, shit just happens and i’m like oh this is what we’re doing now? ok ❜
❛ no offense but if i die and no one uses a ouija board to keep me updated on memes i will literally haunt you all ❜
❛ imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 an hour ❜
❛ i have finally reached the age of most young adult protagonists yet my life is still uneventful??? where is my cool story??? my cool talents??? @ universe i’m pissed ❜
❛ hello, police? i accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested ❜
❛ *tries to watch 45 minute episode in 20 minutes ❜
❛ please don’t just come in my life, take my heart and leave. please don’t do that. ❜
❛ concept: me, 10 years from now, living in a pretty house with my love, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. our dog curls up next to me in the window bench while our cat snoozes on the bed. i’m financially stable and i’m never tired anymore. the bees are safe. ❜
❛ i can’t believe what walkie talkies are called ❜
❛ the gorilla could have died and been done with in like a week but none of you know how to be normal ❜
❛ me: *is bitter but is also right* ❜
❛ just saw a girl in high heels long boarding to class. godspeed, my queen. ❜
❛ i’ve never belonged anywhere, i’m always just in between ❜
❛ too young for unnecessary stress, i gotta live ❜
❛ i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information ❜
❛ i’m like always sleepy. i feel like i should be used to this by now and stop complaining about being sleepy but i can’t. always, i’m sleepy. ❜
❛ lmao no offense… but what’s the point of being mean to people for no reason ❜
❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk ❜
❛ “alcohol isn’t supposed to taste good” buddy watch me drink the fruitiest/sweetest shit i can find and enjoy it because i don’t hate myself enough to even begin to consider drinking like.. beer ❜
❛ tfw you’re already fully aware of the unnecessary self destructive bullshit you’re doing but you can’t bring yourself to do anything to stop it ❜
❛ hey sorry for not replying i didn’t want to ❜
❛ honestly how am i gonna make it in the world???? i get a little teary eyed any time someone compliments my personality ❜
❛ true bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing ❜
❛ *touches your hand and looks seriously into your eyes* i am a piece of shit ❜
❛ lets play ‘how rude can i be until you realize i don’t like you’ ❜
❛ i love drunk me but i don’t trust her ❜
❛ hate when i am wearing makeup and still look shitty like what else am i supposed to do? get enough sleep? eat right and exercise??? as if ❜
❛ i’m not on a high horse. i’m not even on a horse. i’m face down in a ditch on the road of life ❜
❛ i hate when people ask me what i would do in their situation because 9 times out of 10 i would literally never be in that situation in the first place ❜
❛ i barely remember the last 6 months honestly like am i even alive ❜
❛ you had me at ‘hello’ and lost me at ‘i think your friend is cute’ ❜
❛ i’m pretty sure by now ‘tired’ is just a part of my personality description ❜
❛ wow i really liked that song now i think i’ll listen to it another seventy times in a row ❜
❛ ‘shit it’s 2 a.m.’ i say every day at 2 a.m. as if i’m surprised ❜
❛ i’ve been stressed out since like the third day of second grade ❜
❛ telling other girls they look pretty is like cracking a glow stick full of positivity and female friendship ❜
❛ i want to be sun kissed and also people kissed ❜
❛ about me: glowing, eating peaches, drinking wine in lingerie, not texting your desperate ass back  ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ due to unfortunate circumstances, i am awake ❜
❛ i’m gonna solve mysteries so fucking good ❜
❛ what did people even wear in 2008 ❜
❛ i’ll just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  my way through life ❜
❛ you know what sucks? everything bye ❜
❛ me? overreacting? probably ❜
❛ people asking me what kind of music i like is such a stressful experience ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ if you listen carefully you can hear me whisper ‘shut the fuck up’ at least once every five minutes ❜
❛ any time you like a boy just know you played yourself. always keep that stored in your mind for later ❜
❛ hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof ❜
❛ what i lack in personality i make up for in…….. nothing ❜
❛ me? cancelled ❜
❛ an app that tells you how raven something is ❜
❛ be with someone who will take care of you. not materialistically but takes care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything that’s you ❜
❛ i love the infinite multiverse theory because that means there’s a universe where i’ve pulled every single fire alarm i’ve ever seen ❜
❛ name a more iconic duo than the lengths i’ll go to both get attention and to avoid it… i’ll wait ❜
❛ i just want to be treated very gently and smell like vanilla and wear only matte dusty rose lipstick ❜
❛ 2017 is going to be a very healing year because it’s going to force us to accept that 2007 was ten years ago not three and i think that’s the root of our collective issues ❜
❛ i just wanna do cute things with you like crush the patriarchy, fight for gender equality, and help to destroy racism ❜
❛ i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented… i forgot where i was going with this ❜
❛ how is 2016 already almost over?? like this bitch came in, fucked us up, then left like she gave us a gift ❜
❛ supercalifragilisticextentialcrisis ❜
❛ stop breaking your own motherfucking heart ❜
❛ co-napping is a beautiful thing. knock out with me so i know it’s real ❜
❛ *on the verge of tears* ok not that i care, but ❜
❛ it’s not you…. it’s your zodiac sign ❜
❛ i want to be loved so bad it’s pathetic and embarrassing ❜
❛ my heart is filled with hate and swag ❜
❛ ‘i don’t care’ i say, caringly, as i care deeply ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ we all ugly to somebody, don’t trip ❜
❛ do i have a crush or am i just idolizing this person for being vaguely nice to me? ❜
❛ my parents were arguing today and my mom said that justin timberlake wouldn’t treat her like this ❜
❛ kissing is hella rad but no one is kissing me so that makes me hella sad ❜
❛ everyone’s having their mid-life crisis at like 19 ❜
❛ there are just people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine ❜
❛ dermatologists HATE me… everyone hates me. i’m so alone ❜
❛ you know when you realize and you just… realize ❜
❛ a girl can respect herself and still take booty pics wtf y’all talkin about ❜
❛ i’m not badass i’m sadass i cry about everything ❜
❛ inspired by animal crossing, i’ve started doing this thing where i mail my best friends a framed picture of myself and then never speak to them again ❜
❛ i didn’t know double texting was such a big deal?? i have a lot to say ❜
❛ can someone please just be proud of me like fuck i’m trying ❜
❛ cosmo sex tip #367: when you’re in the mood, tell you partner ‘my spidey senses are tingling’ ❜

(  you can find the other popular text posts memes on my old blog: 1, 2 )

anonymous asked:

hi can i request for bestfriend!seungcheol slowly realizing he has feelings for you AAAAAH (thinking of it makes my heart flutter) i love ur writings and thank uu in advance!!:]

  • you and seungcheol have known each other since you were literally kids,,,and therefore it’s no big surprise that you guys keep being friends even up into college
  • where you’ve just seen your best friend turn his childhood mischievousness into what he calls charm,,,,,or ‘grease’ even though every time you make a fake gagging noise at one of his pickup lines seungcheol just tells you you know nothing about the complex world of ‘flirting’
  • and random people in your classes keep asking you if seungcheol is single,,,,,because wow he’s got muscles,,,,anD a cute face,,,,,
  • and you’re like sure he does,,,,but did you know he snores like crazy????? in middle school he came over to play videogames, fell asleep on my couch and it sounded like a freight train was coming through my living room 
  • but people are like interested in him for his looks
  • which you do,,,,agree have gotten much better,,,,,like seungcheol went from being a lil chubby in the cheeks to have a killer jawline
  • and walking around in bomber jackets,,,hair slicked back from his face,,,,sunglasses hanging off his nose,,,,,,and,,,,,that secret tattoo he got and made you swear that you wouldn’t tell his mom
  • but like,,,,,you see the chic seungcheol but it’s nothing compared to the memories you have of him as a twelve year old standing next to you with dirty knees and a big dopey smile on his face because you guys managed to climb the neighbor’s fence and get back your frisbee without getting caught
  • but long story short he’s the hot campus flirt and you’re his bestfriend so everyone either assumes you’re dating or wants you to get them his number
  • and it’s annoying but it becomes even worse when you and seungcheol get the same part-time job at the mall
  • and you guy’s work at this clothing store and ,,,,,everyday it’s the same groups of people from your college coming in to giggle and flirt with seungcheol
  • and seungcheol is so easily entertained by it,,,,,,so you get stuck folding shirts while he sits at the counter batting his eyelashes
  • but you don’t complain because he does work too,, he lifts any of the heavy stuff and always helps you move around the mannequins but he also teases you if you happen to get tired 
  • so when people aren’t around it’s like you’re kids all over again,,,,,but then a flock will come and take him away and you will never admit it,,,,,,,,,,,
  • but you’re kinda jealous,,,,like that’s your best friend and you guys barely hang out because class eats up your time so getting the same job kinda made you excited,,,but now,,,,
  • you don’t show it though and you don’t tell seungcheol. hell no you could never,,,,,,,,
  • but one day as you’re closing up you mention that the tuition is getting worse and you’re three hundred bucks in debt for textbooks and you forget you even tell seungcheol
  • but the next weekend when you’re in the mall, not for your shift but to see another friend, you can’t believe it but,,,,,,,,there’s seungcheol???? working extra shifts????
  • and you don’t know why and you’d ask,,,,but somehow you feel like you shouldn’t,,,,,he might have his reasons,,,,so you duck when he turns to look over his shoulder
  • and a couple of weeks go by and you know seungcheol keeps taking extra hours,,,,,and you’re like,,,,,,,,is his family having money problems?? why won’t he talk to me ??? does he not see me as his best friend anymore,,
  • and it hurts you won’t lie,,,because no matter how open and friendly seungcheol is with people - you always knew that he told you everything. and only you,,,,,,,but that seems to have changed
  • until,,,,,,you get an email before your shift about how your debts been paid off and you’re like ?????what?????but i??????didn’t????? do that????
  • but the fact makes you smile because thaNK GOD three hundred bucks is like ,,,,,,four weeks of work
  • and seungcheol walks by and is like “you look all happy, is it because i look amazing today?” and you roll your eyes and you’re like no!!! some kind soul paid off my debt!!!
  • and seungcheol ruffles your hair and is like you’re lucky! someone must really like you!! and you’re like yEAH omg i wonder who it wa-
  • and you stop mid sentence and look up at seungcheol and he’s like ?
  • and you’re like,,,four weeks of work is 300 bucks,,,,,,seungcheol was taking extra shifts for about three to four weeks,,,,,,he never mentioned having his own money problems,,,,,and he knew about your debt
  • and it all clicks in your head and you’re like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, “it,,,,,was you wasn’t it?” and you say it quietly but you know seungcheol can hear it
  • and you see him shrug, smile at you and he’s like “i said it you know,,,the person who paid for you must really like you,,,”
  • and you catch your breath because wait,,,,,,,,like,,,,,,,you,,,,,,seungcheol,,,,,,,likes you????
  • and you’re like “do you mean-” and seungcheol drops his eyes for the first time,,,,getting a flustered look that is so so so rare
  • and he’s like “i don’t want you to think im trying to lure you or anything, and if you don’t feel the same way we’ll just say i did it for you as your best frien-”
  • but you’re like pulling him down by his employee id and seungcheol is like!!!!!! and you’re pressing your lips softly to his beCause you know WHAT
  • you like him too!!!!! and that jealousy you felt might have been attributed to the fact that,,,,you’ve always wanted to be special to seungcheol,,,,but in more of a way than a friend,,,
  • and seungcheol is shocked, but his hand is almost reflexively moving to tug you closer
  • but you both have to tear away when your manager clears their throat so loud everyone in the store turns to look
  • but,,,,,,,you and seungcheol spend your shifts with giddy smiles and fast beating hearts and im not trying to hint at anything here kids but when the manager goes and it’s time to lock up,,,,,
  • well,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,let’s just say you and seungcheol do a bit more than kiss in the employee room
  • and literally seungcheol against your neck is like: “ive liked you since we were kids,,,and now,,,,,,it’s like that childhood dream of mine is really coming true,,,”
  • and usually you playfully hit him when he says something corny,,,but that just makes you melt even more in his arms hehe 
When We Collide (Part 5)

Pairing: Assistant!Y/N/CEO!Luke

Rating: PG-All

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Summary: He is the definition of high class smart ass, swimming in Dom Pierre Pérignon champagne and has never seen the shadow of poverty. She is underprivileged, lives in a messy dorm room on sale and struggles working as an assistant after being thrown out of college. But how will they collide when Luke makes Y/N pregnant after a drunkenly one night stand?

”No way! Seriously? They really kicked you out of college?”

You rolled your eyes and glared over at Nicole for being the gossip snitch, something she had been her whole life but you really had wished she would have kept this to yourself just for a while. It was, after all, pretty humiliating when you thought about it.

“You sound like you’re surprised, Joey.” You commented with a glimpse in the eye and lifted your beer up to your mouth, letting the taste explode your senses and cool down your pre-sweating forehead.

Keep reading

Do You Miss Me (at all) Sherlock x reader part 1

A/N: This took me forever to finish! For the love of god, I struggled with this hours and days! So, this will be two parted, and apologizes for not posting fanfics for awhile, I’ve been busy with other things (also tried to figure out how to continue the heartless, there will be a new chapter of it soon enough, hopefully) also this was supposed to be out at Friday, but I couldn’t get myself to finish this since this basically a dialogue done by shouting and fighting. But anyway, hope this is good in some sort of weird way.


Here’s a link for the next chapter http://all-fandoms-fiction.tumblr.com/post/157287362239/do-you-miss-me-at-all-2-sherlock-x-reader


You had been in a relationship with Sherlock for over four months now and not to get you wrong, you did love the high functioning sociopath even if it got rough. For example he barely told you he cared for you more than as a friend. It had taken him all his might to tell you that just that once when you started dating and you were as surprised as anyone would’ve been in that situation. To hear Sherlock Holmes, the detective incapable of understanding sentiment or compassion, say he loved you was enough to make you faint, but you didn’t. First you thought it had to be a trick, to test an experiment and one specific kind had slithered in your mind. He was probably testing how you felt about him, even having his own suspicions of you having feelings for him. Maybe he was waiting for your pupils to dilate, testing your pulse? Then he did something that nearly gave you a heart attack. He had kissed you. From there on you two had started dating, but it took some time from him to convince you he really liked you and it wasn’t for a case or a test.

It had been just once he had said he loved you, from that on everything had gone down hill. You knew he wasn’t into opening his heart, which you had become aware of that second he had opened it to you, but you couldn’t but wonder had he come to his senses of you and realized he had only fancied you for short amount of time and the feelings had died by now. At bad days he seemed he barely even acknowledged you were in the same room. He was snarky with his comments, nearly making eye contact and ignoring you at times. It wasn’t anything John hadn’t ever experienced with Sherlock but you couldn’t stop thinking that you would be even slightly privileged to be treated in better way than that.

Sherlock had been buried with work, now on his list at the top was a new case that hadn’t made any progress and it frustrated him. He was tense and easy to piss off. You were the same, but for other reasons. His acts had reflected on you, his now nasty personality and way of ignoring you made it impossible for you to stand him.

The two of you had just come back to Baker Street from a crime scene and you were fuming of rage. Once again you had been pushed aside and treated like you knew nothing. Even Lestrade, just like Sherlock always said, was capable of sensing the situation. Even the police inspector was able to make out Sherlock was doing a lousy job as a boyfriend. You couldn’t forget the wide eyes and the blank, puzzled stare he gave to you two when Sherlock pushed you, no, he literally pushed you more than once aside and kept telling you to keep quiet as your suggestions and deductions would just embarrass him, you and everyone around.

You stomped up the stairs to the flat, Sherlock following after you. You stayed close to the door leading back downstairs while Sherlock went to sink in his chair. He released a long heavy sigh and closed his eyes in disappointment. He muttered how useless the visit had been and how it had only cost his precious time on the case in hand. The crime scene you two just witnessed had, as he said, obviously nothing in common.

”Did you really have to do that?” You questioned after waiting enough, listening to Sherlock muttering and complaining about the case. Your hands were crossed over your chest and your right foot was tapping the floor in an impatient way. To this Sherlock answered with lowered brows and watched you in confusion. You huffed and looked away. ”Embarrass me in front of the whole Scotland Yard?” You corrected. Sherlock only rolled his eyes and went to correct you. ”There was nearly even half of the Scotland Yard present.” Sherlock shifted in his seat. ”I wouldn’t worry about them. They barely know anything so you being incorrect now and then wouldn’t make them any better than you.”

You could hang onto that statement, he had almost praised you just now and it was the best you had got from him for since he had been burdened with this particular case, but then again you didn’t need to settle for this. This wasn’t enough to wipe all the bad comments he’d made in the past though you weren’t even sure was there anything he could do, a one single act that would calm you.

”To you that was the entire Scotland Yard.” You pushed persistently. He had said it himself countless of times. The people in Scotland Yard that had ever worked with him were the only people that counted if you asked for his opinion.

”Well, yes, but obviously it wasn’t exactly the whole Scotland Yard.” Sherlock placed his fingers under his chin, resembling his mind palace position but he kept his eyes open and on you. He eyed you suspiciously, trying to deduce what you were going through in your head, but judging by his expression he had no idea what made you so pissed. ”Is something bothering you?”

To that you let out a sarcastic laugh. Had he really only got that out of you? He really was as magnificent and astonishing as John always said. Sarcastically saying of course. But this time he surprised you by how dumb he was.

”Are you really that blind?” You finally snapped. You humorously watched as Sherlock gave away how offended he was by your statement but without skipping a beat you continued. ”You embarrassed me in front of Scotland Yard! And that’s not all! You’ve treated me worse and worse the further we get down on this case. Hell, you even treat Anderson better than me!” And it was true. He had even praised Anderson today for stating something so obvious and simple that even a blind person would’ve seen it.

”I was being sarcastic.” Sherlock muttered seriously and looked down on the floor, clearly drifting away from the conversation and to his mind palace.

”Well, it wasn’t clear!” You yelled and threw your hands in the air. ”Everybody thought you really meant it. And don’t dare shut me off now!” You took three long steps and put your hands on either side of Sherlock’s armrests on his chair, your face inches away from his. ”Don’t treat me like this!”

”Treat you like what?” Sherlock shot up from his seat, you taking a fast step backwards to make more room between the two of you. He stared back at you coldly. His blue eyes were like frozen and he looked intimidating. Sherlock tilted his head, his eyes narrowing as he questioned you.

”I told you already! You ignore me! Like I don’t exist at all! You always pretend like I’m not there. You put your work first and I feel like I don’t even exist on the list of your priorities! You also have pushed me around, literally, and you won’t let me even speak when we’re out!”

”Stating the obvious shouldn’t be reworded! You want me to let you embarrassed yourself? By pointing out what everyone is able to witness with their own eyes?”

”Oh, so now I’m embarrassing myself? Thank you for saving me, Sherlock, for keeping me quiet when I could’ve said something dumb!” The room was silent for a second, until you took a deep breath. ”Look, you keep me around but make it feel like I am the one clinging on you and following you like a lost puppy, and when I try to advance you, you only shoot me down. You won’t show me I matter!”

”I have told you how I feel about you, do you really need me to do it several times a day? Because you know I won’t be up to it. I am not a man who keeps showering you with all the pleasantries and praises-!”

”I know that and it’s not what I asked!” You snapped back. You were wondering was Mrs. Hudson listening to you two shouting. If she was she was probably worried. Worried what you’d do if this would go further on and how you would end up like. Mrs. Hudson knew what Sherlock was capable of when he was bored or even drugged, but when angered? And with you against him? You couldn’t answer to that either.

”Then what is it? I can’t quit my job and forget all the cases just because of you. Just because of love.” He pronounced the last word with disgust, as if the whole word was ridiculous to even be said.

”I’m not telling you to quit, I’m suggesting you to leave it be when you clearly can’t work it out, not now at least. You’ve run out of clues and there is nothing you can do to make the problem solved. You have to wait!”

”I can’t just wait until another one gets killed!” Sherlock spit out and glared down at you.

”Well, there’s nothing else you can do.” You told him matter of factly. ”Just talking about the case makes you a mess, Sherlock. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep, and how you treat people around you is horrible. Even if you have a problematic case in hand it doesn’t give you the privilege to act like a moron!”

”Oh so I am the one acting like a moron?” Sherlock looked down on you. ”You have done nothing to help me on this case, the reason I keep you around is only because I thought there would be use of you, but guess I was wrong with you. And here you are, waiting for me to sugar coat you with flatter and sweet talk. Like it wasn’t enough I told you once how I care about you.” He had struggled enough by telling you he loved you once, and what were the looks of it he wasn’t going to do it ever again and actually it made you want nothing more than him to never say anything to you.

”I knew what I was getting myself into when I started this relationship with you.  I know it’s hard for you to say how you feel, but I’m not asking you to tell me that. It’s just that you never show it! You never sit next to me, you never walk close to me, and you barely talk to me! If you could just treat me like a human being!” You didn’t let Sherlock answer, you paced around nervously, but not scared. You were infuriated. ”I really thought I wouldn’t be the only one to do things I don’t usually like to do. Like waking up at 3am in the morning to visit a crime scene, or running around London after a maniac without eating for a whole day! I still never complaint! But where I draw the line is when I am treated worse than even the people you can’t stand!”

”Enough with Anderson already!” Sherlock sighed and spin around.

”I’m not talking about Anderson! I am saying you don’t treat me like your girlfriend and even Lestrade saw what was going on today!” You felt bad at thinking about it again, your stomach dropped at the thought of it. ”The way you act towards me isn’t normal, Sherlock!”

”So I’m supposed to be all around you when we’re on a case? Oh, wake up, (Y/n)! I do not show emotions or am I even capable of feel certain of emotions. Love and sentiment do not get me anywhere and there for I keep them out of my life!” You flinched. That was it. You had enough.

”Then let me help you.” You said and went to get your bag.

”What are you doing?” Sherlock asked sounding bored and fed up by your attitude, his brows furrowed.

”Like you said, you rid yourself of certain feelings. There for I’m leaving. Sorry I ever bothered to step into your life.” You said and turned. ”Goodbye, Sherlock Holmes.” And with that you left. You went down the stairs in a hurry and rage, stomping loudly. You heard Mrs. Hudson come out of her flat, now standing next to the front door, looking at you worriedly.

”Are you two having a little domestic?” She asked with a sad and nervous tone.

”Could say so.” You answered coldly and opened the door.

”When are you coming back, dear?”

”I’m not.” You deadpanned. You had stopped at the entrance and were looking at Mrs. Hudson with a serious expression.

Mrs. Hudson gazed up the stairs to the living room. ”I’m sure what ever he said he doesn’t mean it.” She assured you, but you knew better and you also had made up your mind.

”I’m sure he did.” You told, then closing the door and left Baker Street.

Mrs. Hudson was left alone to wonder what had happened. She let her eyes wonder towards the stairs again, whispering sadly to herself, ”What have you done now, Sherlock?”

Drunk Headcanons- Gentlemen

“Alcohol does not change you, it just makes you lose control of your inhibitions. What those people did–it was inside them.” -Dan Howlter

Genji

  • Pre-cyborg? Definitely the sexual predator drunk. Can’t keep his hands off anyone, cat-calls, making offensive comments, and much more likely to make a move on you and wake up with you the next morning with no memory how he got there.
    • Liked all kinds of wild, new cocktails (Sakura martinis, Niagara Grapes, even Grasshoppers)
  • Even though he drank a lot back then, this pretty boy could never build up a proper tolerance. Two and a half cocktails in and he’s singing ebarassingly at the kareoke bar
  • Now, well, I’m not sure he can process alcohol in his new body
    • I mean, it hasn’t been explicitely said if he can eat and drink or not anymore, but I’m assuming not
    • This has actually been really bugging me, in one of his voice lines, he says “Ramen! *sigh* It’s just not the same anymore.”
    • Which raises the question if it’s just that he can’t eat or if things taste differently or don’t taste at all for him
      • Which then makes me wonder if he has a mouth, which I think he does uuugh, I’m so confused
    • And in the newest lines with him and Angela exchanging chocolates? Angela would know whether or not he can eat, so she either knows he can eat the chocolates or is just giving them to him as a kind gesture to show that even though he’s a cyborg, he still deserves the same courtesies given to regular humans
  • BUT for now, I’m going to assume he can’t drink anymore
    • Although he still has a brain, so that means his brain can still be intoxicated, so saying that he was somehow intoxicated through some other means…
  • He would be very unaccustomed to the feeling, after all, it’s been so long since he’s been tipsy or drunk
    • Gets very quiet and ponderous, examining himself curiously for any reasons why he feels buzzed (think Legolas after the drinking contest in Lord of the Rings)

McCree

  • As he says in the game, he prefers alcohol with more of a bite to it
    • So I’d say he prefers tequila, whisky, gin
    • Back in his Deadlock days, when he turned 16, the members probably gave him a little “initiation” involving a bottle of tequila, a lemon, Kosher salt, and a worm (look it up)
  • Drinking is a common part of Jesse’s life, and he almost always sipping on a glass of whisky in the evenings
    • Gets wasted at least once every two weeks
    • Not the most healthy lifestyle
  • But he’s pretty good at hiding that he’s drunk
    • Sure, he gets louder, sillier, maybe a little grope-y with his s/o, but when it comes to drunk tests, as long as there’s no breathalizers, he can walk a straight line like it’s nothing
    • Years of experience
  • He has a pretty high tolerance, he is a cowboy after all, and he can drink most anyone under the table
    • But after about 10 shots of tequila, he’s gonna get drunk

Reaper

  • Back in his Overwatch days, probably went out drinking with Jack quite a bit
    • These two would usually have some cold beers, but on special nights, martinis or margaritas
    • I’d even headcanon that he used to make the martinis and margaritas for the two of them
    • Can probably still shake up a potent drink even now
  • Used to have drinking contests every now and then with Torbjorn, Jack, and Reinhardt. He had a friendly contest with Jack, but always resented Rein for winning 70% of the time
    • He came close to beating him once, but…
  • He has a pretty good alcohol tolerance even today, it’s just that he doesn’t drink much anymore (not sure if he even can in his ghostly form)
  • But even if he can drink as Reaper, he probably avoids drinking simply because it interferes with his work
    • Doesn’t want to look unprofessional
  • But before the fall of Overwatch, when he and Morrison were butting heads, he probably drank quite a bit to calm his nerves
    • And some nights he’d just drink, and drink, and drink…
  • A mix of the angry, emotional, and tired drunk
    • Starts off really pissed, maybe throwing things, complaining about how much he hates Overwatch
    • Then gets really emo and mopes. Back then it’d be about how he lost his friendship with Jack. Now it’d be about living as a literal ghost
    • Then just collapses and falls asleep

Soldier: 76

  • Back in his Overwatch days, probably went out drinking with Gabriel quite a bit 
    • These two would usually have some cold beers, but on special nights, martinis or margaritas
  • Used to have drinking contests every now and then with Torbjorn, Gabe, and Reinhardt
    • Almost always the first one out. Though, he has a decent tolerancy
  • Was probably still professional with his alcohol before the fall of Overwatch
    • He was the Strike Commander, after all
    • Only drank off-duty
  • Now, he’s a little less of gentleman and will drink beer and whisky whenever he feels like it
    • He’s a grizzly, war-worn old man, you think he cares?
  • He’s an angry and emotional drunk
    • He won’t start fights, but if someone says even remotely offensive about him or his friends, he’ll be up in their face!
    • But towards the end of the night, he’ll get really sad and will start to monologue about the “good ‘ol days”

Hanzo

  • Prefers sake or any smooth, sophisticated drink. Nothing with a “bite” to it like McCree likes
  • Has always been very responsible with his alcohol. He had an image to uphold after all, and that sense of duty has never left him
    • Slowly sips his sake, taking into account how much he’s had and when to stop
  • But he’s such a kill-joy when he drinks with friends or significant others
    • Always reminding them when they’ve gone over their limit, being dubious of whether or not they can handle certain drinks, and sometimes cutting them off entirely!
  • Very much like Symm when it comes to drinking. He’ll drink, but he doesn’t believe alcohol should be drank for the sake of getting drunk. It should be savored for its taste and history. Only drinks it to unwind
  • But he can still get drunk. Once he’s hit a nice buzz, his responsibility will begin to waver, and he’ll lose track of how much he’s had
    • Probably the emotional drunk, mumbling about how the Shimada empire was to be his, how horrible he was to kill Genji, blah blah blah…

Junkrat

  • Ooooh boy…Oh dear….
  • There is NOTHING this boy won’t drink (but it has to be confirmed alcohol. He will not drink turpentine or boot-shine just to get drunk)
  • But this boy won’t even shy away from moonshine!
  • For him, alcohol was MADE to get you drunk! Jamie doesn’t drink unless he is seriously aiming to get wasted!
    • But he’s not a total alcoholic. He never drinks when he’s on a heist because he knows it’ll affect his work
    • Only drinks when he knows he doesn’t have anywhere to be in the next 12 hours (this does not exclude day drinking)
  • Usually just drinks plain old amber fluid (Aussie slang for beer) since it’s the cheapest
  • Always makes sure his friends have something to drink along with him. Coldies for everyone!
    • But who said he was paying? Who said he didn’t steel the coldies?
  • Not sure what Jamison’s tolerancy is since he chugs his drinks too fast to keep track of. He wants to get on that high fast!
  • A loud, silly drunk who laugh maniacally and catches the bar on fire!

Torbjorn

  • Despite his size, he can drink a lot.
  • In his drinking contests with Rein, Gabe, and Jack, he’d win occasionally
  • A very loud drunk who will do drunken jigs on the table

Reinhardt

  • Good luck getting this man drunk. He’s drank some bars clean before
  • He’s seven feet tall, after all
  • Loves a good drinking contest since he knows he’ll usually win
    • But just like battle, he lives for that rush of competition as he swigs down another glass of beer, staring his opponent dead in the eyes
  • Prefers German beers with the occasional schnapps
  • IF somehow you got him drunk, I’m sorry
  • He’s loud and VERY unaware of his size and spatial relation
  • He’ll teeter around, knock things over, collapse into tables (breaking them), and knock people flat on their faces when he pats them on the back
  • And if he passes out, you’ll have to call a tow truck to haul him out of there

Roadhog

  • Doesn’t like to brag, but he has a tolerancy level to rival Reinhardt’s
  • Can often be caught day drinking on the couch with a coldie, even when he has somewhere to be that day (he can handle a few beers before then)
  • But usually doesn’t drink in front of people except Junkrat, since it requires him to lift up his mask or take it off entirely
    • If he were to brag about his drinking capabilities, then someone would try to get him to prove it, and he doesn’t want to take off his mask in public…
  • But then there’s Junkrat, bragging for him, “You wouldn’t believe how much my friend Roadie here can drink!”
    • “Mrrghh…” he grumble, “Shut. Up.”
  • The biggest, hungriest, sleepiest drunk. It’s hard to get him drunk, though
  • But once he is, he’ll suddenly start making drunk food decisions and ordering hugs amounts of food at once!
    • Then he’ll scarf it all down, let out a monstrous burp, and pass out…
  • You should have seen how much he ordered during Chinese New Year! Where do you think that highlight reel came from?

Lucio

  • He likes a good drink as much as the average guy, but he’s always sure to be careful
  • An all-around wholesome guy who looks out for his friends too when they drink. Reminds them when it’s time to take a break, have a snack, or maybe stop all together
  • His favorite drinks are Jell-O shots and he loves drinking if it involves a drinking game
  • When he gets drunk, though, he’ll pull out his tunes and start playing them really loud!
    • Eventually he’ll dig up some irritating meme music and start blaring that, laughing hysterically to it
  • He’s been booted from a few clubs early in his career for playing annoying music. Now he knows when it’s time to be responsible.

Zenyatta

  • Zenny can’t drink, but I’m sure there’s a way to screw with an omnics circuits and recreate a drunken feeling for them
  • And he’d be such a silly drunk! He is only 20 after all–sassy little college student…
  • The next morning he’d be so apologetic for anything he did. He’d say that he just wasn’t himself.

skye07  asked:

Ohhh!!! you wrote the knitting Tony story!!!! I've been hunting that story for a long time!!! (was on a reading spree on your Tony tag, I'm having a swell of a time) So HOW ABOUT!! Someone finding or just ended up in Tony's stash room (it might be a floor if we are being honest, I would with his resources). I am salivating just imaginging the AMOUNT of yarn Tony must have collected, of all colours and types. Just, please. I would love you even more if you decide this prompt worthy~~

You mean that story I sent to bloody-bee-tea about Tony knitting? I’m surprised I haven’t written more Tony knitting, tbh. Hope you like it! Look out for under the cut!


Natasha had been investigating her new home when she stumbled into it. The room was gigantic, cube shelves covering the walls. Every single shelf had balls of yarn in it, starting with red in one corner and spreading in a circular rainbow of yarns, except for the few columns of shelves that were filled with needles, hooks, counters of some sort?

Natasha felt nervous for a reason she couldn’t explain. Perhaps because this room felt deeply personal? That the person who had set it up had taken time to organize it just right?

She stayed just long enough to tuck a gun under some soft yarn before she left. Each room needed at least one weapon hidden in it.


“Why would you ever need this in my stash?” Tony complained, shoving the gun into her hands. “You can use literally anything in there as a weapon. The straight needles can be used to stab people and the circular needles can be used as garrotes. My double-pointed needles can be used in close combat. And if your attacker is allergic to wool, he’s gonna be in for a bad time.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hello sweets!! I was wondering if you've done apartment!au for bts??? It's a bit much so can you just do maknae line for now?? Pretty please with a 🍒 on top,?☺️ thank u~

Jimin

  • sweet boy with a sweet smile and a sweet personality and wow did i mention the word sweet???
  • he’s a little clueless to his popularity in the neighborhood like sometimes he’ll find notes stuck to his apartment door from some of the highschoolers that live in the building and they’re like love confessions like “jimin,,,,,,i like you so much!! let’s walk down the flower road together xoxo ~ secret admirer from the 9th floor”
  • and jimin is like “my neighbors are so nice to me, look at this note namjoon” and namjoon is like “,,,,,,,,,i don’t think this is ‘nice neighbors’ i think this person has a crush on you” and jimin is like oN me??? why would they have a crush on me 0000:
  • everyone in a 10 mile radius: because you’re the cutest boy in the world what kind of question is that
  • and jimin loves bright colors,,,,i think he’d have lots of yellow in his house,,,,,,like yellow curtains in his kitchen and yellow slippers,,,,,idk why he just seems like he’d want to have a really lively aesthetic going on
  • and he’d be neat ,,,, and would love having people over like he’d meet someone and in a day be like “you should come over sometime ^^” like he’s just a nice open person,,,,,,,it’s so refreshing
  • but he’s also a little shy around those he likes romantically which is why jimin always gets stuttery around you when you see him in the mornings and you’re like “hi!!!” and he’s like “h,,,hello,,,” and you always think he must be scared of you or something because he isn’t as upbeat and as talkative with you as he is with the other neighbors
  • and that makes you a bit upset,,,,,so you decide that you’re gonna prove that you’re a good neighbor by baking him a cake,,,,,,,,,the only problem is: you cannot bake
  • and when you’re done, and you’re sure you followed the recipe correctly, you can’t help but look at the cake as it’s slowly falling apart and you’re like,,,,,,,,,,,,this isn’t going to work,,,he’s going to think i hate him or something wlrgjsa
  • so you go out and you buy a cake instead and you knock on his door and when jimin opens it he’s like ,,,,,very surprised to see you and you’re like
  • “i know we don’t talk much,,,,and that’s rude of me neighbors should get to know each other so i made this,,,,,,,as a welcoming gift???”
  • and jimin is like “ive,,,ive lived here for over a year” and you’re like i k NOW,,,,,,i just,,,,,,,here 
  • and jimin takes it, his face gone completely red and he’s like thank,,,,,,thank,,,,,tha-thank you
  • and you’re like are you ok??? you’re redder than a lobster
  • and jimin is like iM FINE,,,,,,,,,,do,,,,,,do you wanna,,,,,,,,,,eat this with me,,,,,,
  • and you two end up sitting awkwardly at jimin’s dining table and jimin hands you a slice of cake with shakey hands and you’re like,,,,,,he seems so scared of me what do i do
  • and suddenly you’re like “im,,,,,,,im not mean” and jimin is like ????? and you’re like “i always think that you dislike me,,,,,but really im nice!! i think,,,,,,did i do something to scare you???” and jimin is like “nO,,,,,,nO,,,,,,it’s not that,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”
  • and he looks down and tries to distract himself with eating cake but then he’s like “wait- is this,,,,,,,,,,,is this from,,,,,,the store down the block?” and you’re FRICK im caught and you’re like sorry i tried to bake one but,,,,,it came out bad so i bought one
  • and jimin is like you did all of this for me??? and you’re like YEAH i don’t want us to be neighbors that are cold with each other,,,,,,
  • and jimin kind of smiles sadly and he’s like “just neighbors,,,,right”
  • and you’re like wait,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,do you,,,,,,,,do you want something more
  • and jimin is like WHAT WHO SAID THAT UM THIS CAKE IS THE BEST MY FAVORITE FLAVOR OF CAKE YUM
  • and you’re looking at him,,,,,,realizing slowly that the redness in his face isn’t because he’s sick,,,,,,,,but omg park jimin has a c r u s h on you

Taehyung

  • the neighbor who you see at really odd hours of the night,,,,,like,,,,,,why is only getting home at 4 am???? is he ordering pizza at 8am???? what is his schedule 
  • would own like 40 dogs but the building has a no pets policy and it’s killing taehyung,,,,,,,,,he literally has to go over to his friends houses who have pets to get his daily dose of cuddling puppies otherwise he’ll get depressed 
  • the neighbors who have had a chance to speak with him all think he’s very,,,,,,,laidback and more than likely you’ll see him hanging around in the parking lot of the building skateboarding around or playing with strays that he feeds
  • and his own apartment is full of second-hand furniture he got from his parents and friends and he has posters up of like classic horror movies that are like peeling off the wall
  • and he used to play music outloud,,,but people would complain so he switched to just playing it through his headphones and pretending to like air guitar on his sofa 
  • and speaking of which,,,,,,he actually doesn’t have a bed because he was like what’s the point i can sleep on my couch or on my beanbag or on the floor,,,,,,,,taehyung literally doesn’t care is what im trying to say
  • his bedroom is just bookshelves (which are falling apart) full off old toys and cds and skateboards pilled up and baseball caps 
  • but it somehow manages not to be messy,,,,just kind of like very down-to-earth like him
  • and you know taehyung likes animals you’ve seen him wear shirts with dog faces like one five different occasions also he once rescued a kitten that was getting picked on by younger kids
  • and so when the landlord says she’ll be coming around to chat with you in your apartment about your new air conditioner you’re like “i need to hide my baby,,,,my angel,,,,,,,,my cat,,,,,,Mr. Tubs”
  • and you knock on taehyungs door hoping he’ll answer and to your relief he does,,,,,,,and you’re pretty sure there’s a noddle stuck to his cheek but you’re like “hey hey i know we don’t talk much but the landlord is coming up in five minutes and i need you to hide Mr. Tubs for me”
  • and taehyung is like whose Mr. Tubs and you like hand him the duffel bag and your cats head peeks out and you’re like “qUICK go inside ill be back in half an hour to get him”
  • and taehyung is standing there with your cat in a bag as he watches you run off
  • and he looks down and he’s like “hey Mr. Tubs” and your cat is like,,,meow who are you jokes jokes
  • but yes after you talk with the landlord you’re back to see taehyung and when you knock on the door you realize it’s open and when you step inside you see taehyung sitting on the floor of his living room, Mr. Tubs peacefully napping in his lap and you’re like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,my cat likes him better than he likes me is taehyung Magical
  • and you’re like “heY hope Mr. Tubs wasn’t too much!!!!” and taehyung is like “your cat is awesome” and you’re like thank,,,,,you
  • and taehyung is like “do you think you can let him stay here,,,,,while he naps,,,,,,he’s just so nice” and you’re like ok they really did bond in this half hour
  • and you’re like “sure,,,,,,,,,,um,,,,,ill,,,,,go?” and taehyung’s like “no, you can stay if you want we can play like monopoly or something”
  • and you pull out the old board game from under a pile of what looks like notebooks and stuff and you open it and like half the pieces are missing but it’s whatever you and taehyung have a good time anyway
  • and he makes you laugh??? and like he’s so comfortable to be around because he’s so easy going
  • and you’re like ‘you skate right??’ and he’s like not well but you’re like pfft please id love to learn and taehyung’s like “yo ill teach you”
  • and you kind of blush a bit because he smiles so wide and he’s actually really handsome??? and before you know it two hours has gone by and Mr. Tubs wakes up only to walk from taehyungs lap and plop down into yours
  • and you’re like “ill take this rascal back home now,,,,so he can sleep in his bed and not on my neighbors” and taehyung laughs but he’s like bring him over again anytime and hey,,,,,,,tomorrow at 7 are you free?
  • and you’re like pm??? and taehyung is like no am and you’re like what who wakes up that early tomorrow is sunday and taehyung is like “well it’s a good time for me to teach you how to skate ^^”
  • and gdi you’re actually agreeing to get up early on a weekday because hey,,,,,,,,,,he is really cute,,,,,,,,,,

Jungkook 

  • don’t even try to argue with me on this: jungkook collects actions figures and anime figures and those little nintendo figures,,,,,,,,,you know what i mean
  • has them like displayed on a shelf above his computer and gets really excited about packages because you guessed it: it’s a new figure
  • like he doesn’t have a bunch, he just gets the ones that are like of his favorite characters and also,,,,,,,,he seems like the type to own the soundtracks from his favorite games
  • and other than that,,,,,,like nothing matters to him
  • like he’s got his computer for gaming, and his bed for sleeping what else is there to life
  • uses his living room as a closet really like the armchair has clothes piled up on it and comic books 
  • he eats at a low table that he forgets to clean so when jin comes over he’s like “jungkook. look at this. look at these crumbs”
  • jungkook: “listen,,,,,,,mom” 
  • jin: “what did you say?”
  • jungkook: “nothing i said i was gonna go get napkins to clean off the crumbs,,,,,,,”
  • and the neighbors all think he’s cute and some1 once asked him if he was still in high school and jungkook was like,,,,,no,,,,,,,,,i graduated and the person was like oh my i thought you were 16
  • and jungkook wasn’t sure if he should be flattered or,,,,,,,
  • but also he kind of keeps to himself so he doesn’t have a lot of close friends in his building and you and him don’t really speak but one day,,,,you end up with a strange package at your door
  • and at first you think it’s that rice cooker you bought but when you open it you pull out this figure and you’re like wtf is a sasuke uchiha
  • and then you’re like,,,,,,,,,,,wait this isn’t mine
  • and you see jungkooks name on the box and you’re like SHIT I OPENED MY NEIGHBORS MAIL THAT’S A CRIME
  • so you quickly try to put some tape on it and make it look untouched but it’s so obvious you ripped it open but you’re like maybe,,,,,,maybe he won’t be mad he seems like a nice dude
  • so you take the package and you ring his doorbell and jungkooks like ??? and you’re like “this is,,,,,,,,yours,,,,,,,,i accidentally opened it but,,,,,,,,,,,,,i swear i didn’t break anything!!!!! sasuke is alright!!!”
  • and jungkook is like “god bless sasuke is alright” and you’re like “he looks cool is he from a game?”
  • and wow you know when you ask people who are super passionate about something and their eyes light up WELL
  • and before you know it you’re standing there listening to the subplot of naruto and sasuke’s rivalry and you’re like,,,,,,what is happening but 
  • jungkook looks so adorable listing off his favorite episodes that you’re like you know what whatever let’s talk about this
  • and jungkook asks you if you’re into any games/movies/shows and you’re like YEAH i have a few favorites
  • and you two are totally bonding in the hallway over geeky stuff but then you’re also like
  • “you’ve been holding that box up for like the last 45 minutes doesn’t your hand hurt??”
  • and jungkook is like “nah, i work out look!”
  • and he rolls up his sleeve innocently to show you his muscles and you’re like WOAH WHAT
  • and jungkook is like teehee my hyungs call me the ‘hulk’ isn’t that cute?? and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,,ok he’s adorable but he’s also strong but he’s also funny but he’s also swole,,,,,,,,huh,,,,,,perfect dare i say,,,,,,,,,bf material
  • first date: binge-watching your favorite shows while getting to know each other better by playing 20 questions LOL 
bring me home in a blinding dream

title from ‘castle of glass’ by linkin park. another of those fake dating aus because apparently they’re the source of my life.


She was going to kill Mary Margaret.

It’s one thing being set up on a blind date. Emma had suffered through enough of those; her sister-in-law kindly believes that there’s a soulmate out there for everyone, and the way to find them is through chance encounters. Emma gets plenty of chance encounters. Nothing like being a bail bondswoman to introduce you to a lot of men.

(She had pointed that out to Mary Margaret the day before. Her sister-in-law had frowned, raised an eyebrow, and said, “Yes, you definitely want to spend the rest of your life with a criminal who you caught while wearing four-inch stilettos. No, you’re going out to dinner with a friend of a friend of a friend that I heard was recently single. Tomorrow night. At seven. Be prepared.” She had then kissed Emma on the cheek, pushed her toward the couch, and had left Emma’s apartment without so much as a chipper “bye!”)

It’s quite another thing being stood up on a blind date.

Keep reading

bananannabeth  asked:

hey fee, what's going on?? i havent properly been on tumblr in like a week and a half or read tdp because uni is taking up all my time but i just saw your post and??? omg??? what??? im really sorry and i hope youre okay (i know that sounds shallow but like.. as okay as you can be when people are obviously being idiots)

usually i wouldn’t answer this publicly but like i am genuinely shocked by the vitriol being targeted at lesbians right now and like it’s the most thinly veiled attacks i’ve ever seen, people are barely even bothering to try and disguise what this is really about (read: “shut up you evil dykes we’re sick of listening to you complain about lesbian issues and we want to be left alone”). it’s gone like way beyond the realm of fandom discourse at this point.

an overview of what happened:

  • the dark prophecy was released a few weeks ago (so, spoilers for that, but it’s really not a big spoiler and i kept it quite vague and tbh y’all should probably read this anyway because like i said, it’s gone way beyond the realm of fandom discourse at this point).
  • it contains an older lesbian couple, who had to leave the hunters of artemis because they fell in love and wanted to be together. upon meeting them, one of the characters mentions that they thought it was only men the hunters of artemis swore off of, but the apollo corrects them and says it’s actually all romance.
  • (it’s worth mentioning that apollo says this bitterly. as in: he doesn’t approve or agree. and not for nothing, i might be projecting, but it sounds a lot less like “i’m a god with an overactive sex drive and my sister’s such a PRUDE” and a lot more like “i’m bisexual and i feel uncomfortable with this rule”)
  • this lesbian couple is upset about leaving the hunters. they wouldn’t have done so if they hadn’t had to, they say it was their family, but they had to leave because they loved each other more.
  • apollo mentions that they parted on good terms with artemis, because “she let you live” (good terms, those). the hunters visit them sometimes. artemis does not.
  • so, it is now canon that the hunters of artemis do not condone love between lesbian couples, and lesbian and bi girls who fall in love are no longer welcome in the hunt.
this doesn’t sit well with me, or several other lesbians and bi girls (or apollo, or the lesbian couple themselves, it seems like).
for several reasons:
  • grouping in heterosexual love in the exact same category as lesbian love is homophobic. it’s not a discussion of “equality” but rather an acknowledgement that lesbian love as it exists in the world today is socially taboo and forbidden, and thus banning lesbian love has the potential to do much, much more damage than banning heterosexual love.
  • implying that all romance, and in this case specifically lesbian romance, is against a code of honor, is homophobic. there’s just no way around this. actively being uncomfortable with lesbians in love for no other reason than the fact that they’re in love carries massively homophobic connotations with it. it just does. sneering at all romance doesn’t negate this problem. lesbians can be hurt in ways that straight girls cannot. sneering at their romance is homophobic, because as much as we all might hate it, the world is homophobic and banning lesbian romance absolutely does reinforce this system of homophobia. it does. (this is like, oppression basics, u guys. if u pretend oppression isn’t there, ur siding with the oppressor. “i don’t see differences in sexuality and hate all romance equally” = “i do not acknowledge that some of you need different precautions and protections because you are systematically oppressed in ways that others are not”). we are not all socially equal. we’re not starting on the same playing field. heterosexual love is not a social taboo, lesbian love is, case in point: it hurts lesbians much worse to ban their love than it does straight people. not to mention that it’s triggering for people who have been in spaces that actually did ban lesbianism (hi, me, it wasn’t a fun time, and i don’t appreciate the hunters having any resemblance to my hellish private school experience).
  • artemis is evidently quite hostile towards lesbians..for being lesbians. like, loving women is what makes you a lesbian, and if that bothers her so much that they can’t even be around her and be together…i mean, what can we conclude about her? shunning all love, in this case, specifically lesbian love, and apparently not even having it off the table that she might decide to kill them, is homophobic. it doesn’t work like “oh well she’s uncomfortable with all love in general.” you can’t hide bigotry by widening the radius of people you hate. you will never be able to disguise homophobia by also hating straight people. if anything, that’s even more homophobic, because it lumps us right in under a massive group of “people who fall in love” which…includes straight people, who systematically oppress us. not a fan of being compared to my oppressors. certainly not a fan of being banished alongside them.
  • it’s very important to note that plenty of lesbians feel this is a complete misrepresentation of artemis and the hunt, and are quite upset that someone they identified with apparently hates them. (and she does. artemis wants nothing to do with lesbians who are in love, refuses to allow them to be in love and also in her hunt, gave them an ultimatum between her and each other, would consider murdering them).
  • like, we’re not working off nothing, here. artemis has ABSOLUTELY historically been associated with lesbianism. i’m not pulling this out of my ass, okay. lesbian themes are present in tons of artemis’ myths, her “loving women” is mentioned in virtually everything ever written about her. granted, it’s never specified to be romantic or sexual, but keep in mind the time that these myths were being recorded and who was doing the recording (read: men who thought lesbianism wasn’t real). many hellenic wlw follow artemis today precisely for this reason. separating artemis from lesbianism is Not The Best Move rick’s ever had lmao.
  • the oath specifically says no men in titan’s curse. it absolutely does. if you assumed this also meant no romance at all, that’s on you and your heteronormative thinking, bud. but it reads “I, [name], pledge myself to the goddess Artemis. I turn my back on the company of men, accept eternal maidenhood, and join the hunt.”
  • pledging “eternal maidenhood” means “i’ll be a virgin” in children’s book speak. if you don’t believe me, notice how they refer to athena as a “maiden” goddess, but really mean “she can’t naturally conceive children [because she’s celibate].” they don’t mean “she’s single,” they mean “she doesn’t have sex.” maiden is a nicer term, but it means virgin: [adjective 1. (of a woman, especially an older one) unmarried. synonyms: unmarried, spinster, unwed, unwedded, single, husbandless, celibate.] we’re all familiar with the concept that you’re only allowed to have sex after you’re married to a man, right? well, that’s the assumptions this word was created under. don’t play dumb and try and say maidenhood means being eternally single; we all know what it really means and why the term exists. it doesn’t say wifeless, or even spouseless, it says husbandless. nobody was thinking about lesbians when they defined that word and rick wasn’t thinking about lesbians when he wrote the oath. thus: artemis is a virgin goddess who accepts virgins who pledge a vow of eternal virginity. that makes sense, because atemis is indeed a virgin goddess (literally the goddess of virginity) and some of her worst myths involve her kicking out hunters for “losing their virginity.” that’s got it’s own set of problems.
  • and yes, i am aware that artemis also explains the hunters “foreswear romantic love forever.” yeah, i got it. but she says this sentence in clarification to percy’s question—artemis says they’re immortal unless they break their oath. percy asks what oath. artemis says “to foreswear romantic love forever.” and as i just explained, the oath does not say that. she might’ve specified romantic love, but like, can we not play dumb here? it’s heteronormative. nuns also take a chastity pledge, but do we expect that this applies to gay nuns? no, we really don’t. like, don’t lie and say you were some enlightened ten year old being who read this line and thought “oh, thanks for clarifying artemis, i was wondering about lesbians.”
  • there’s like, an actual reason that artemis and her hunters swear off men: they’re dangerous. when she initially began her hunt, her mission was to rescue girls from being sold off to husbands they didn’t want to marry, or escaping abusive situations with their betrotheds and fathers (zoe nightshade, anyone?). i don’t see….when or why that turned into “all romance is distracting and inherently bad.” it’s not really very sensical. romance and sex were never the evils facing the hunt, it was the patriarchy.
  • in short: the hunt has become a hot fucking mess and lesbians (and bi girls but seeing as we’re specifically talking within the context of lesbian love it’s really implied that anyone who has the potential to experience that is part of the discussion) are upset. rick deserves a certain amount of blame for this.

now, see, the problem here that people can’t seem to get through their heads is that we’ve got a right to be upset about this. we are allowed to be upset about confronting homophobia in a character most of us liked and identified with.

  • and us complaining about that, explaining it, and pointing it out is…not “starting discourse”, however much you may think we’re crazy sjw dykes. i’m really not here in general for how any time someone is critical of a piece of media for valid reasons they’re immediately starting “wank” and “discourse.” it’s a misuse of the terms. discourse doesn’t mean “people have an opinion on why their marginalized group was represented badly” and wank doesn’t mean “we think this is homophobic” and you calling it that is a pathetic excuse to ignore what we’re saying. which is not to mention how incredibly transparent it is—discourse goes on in this fandom all the time. literally all the time. i’ve never seen anyone complain half as much about “fandom discourse” before as i have this past week.
  • and then there’s people derailing the conversation by making it about aroace erasure. first of all, it’s possible to like, talk about multiple things at the same time and there’s no reason why us discussing lesbians should have any bearing on aroace representation. second of all…. the hunters are like, not… technically even aroace? taking a vow of chastity and swearing off men is now equivalent to being aroace? does nobody see a problem with that? i’m stunned that people weren’t angry about that, to be honest, since it’s not exactly Controversial or New to say that asexuality does not equal celibacy and aromanticism does not equal an… eternal no romance pledge or whatever the fuck the oath even means anymore. like, cool, i understand you might be more inclined to take the oath if you didn’t experience sexual or romantic attraction, but that’s still a far cry from saying all of the hunters are aro and ace (and that’s. clearly not true. because some of them break their oaths. or join because they’ve been scorned by men they’ve fallen in love with).
  • which like, not to mention that they’re pretty hideous representation for you in general if they literally kill people who wind up falling in love? like, that’s your holy grail of representation? “you must have parted on good terms, she let you live” like okayyyy so you mean artemis’ typical course of action in dealing with girls who fall in love is to murder them? the fuck is wrong with yall 
  • people are actually offering this up as a benchmark for why artemis isn’t homophobic. she murders hunters who fall in love with men, but she let the lesbians live. like. this is the benchmark for lesbian allyship now, apparently. holy hell, people.
  • but sure, yeah, artemis, aroace patron goddess, who murders hunters that fall in love and refuses to offer protection to lesbians because they also fall in love, and calls love a “distraction” and thus pretends she’s the Enlightened One who isn’t sullied by romance. good one, guys. if that’s what you’re celebrating, and furthermore, if that’s the representation i’m “erasing” by talking about lesphobic issues, not only are you homophobic but like you’re just a plain old misogynist lmao. i don’t condone literally killing girls for falling in love and i certainly fucking thought it would go without saying that you people don’t condone that either, but apparently not! fucking hell.
  • which, anyway, even working under the assumption that it was good aroace representation, to accuse lesbians of erasure for being critical of how lesbianism is portrayed in a book? as if we were the ones who decided to include an ex-hunters lesbian couple? but we’re the ones who are guilty of the erasure for..what..talking about it? being angry? saying it’s homophobic? being upset that lesbians aren’t allowed in the hunt?
  • like, look, if artemis was presented in canon as someone who doesn’t experience attraction and started a convent for other girls who don’t, well that would be different, wouldn’t it? but she’s not presented that way. she’s apparently the patron to all women, so long as they don’t date men. zoe nightshade says she’ll accept anyone who takes the oath, no matter their species, and definitely regardless of their sexuality as well (because at the very least, zoe, the literal lieutenant, most definitely had other reasons for joining than being aroace, as did thalia, the current lieutenant, and emmie and jo are obviously not aroace yet still took the oath once, and annabeth even thought about taking the oath). it’s not, and never has been, about lack of romantic attraction. it’s about eternally swearing off all romance and banning love because love is bad.
  • i guess we all should’ve known this considering silena is all up in arms about the hunters telling her “love is worthless” in ttc, but damn call me stupid for daring to hope that as rick began to confront the rampant heteronormativity in his books we might have this patched up, too.
  • pro tip for like literally anything ever: if a marginalized group speaks up and says “hey that’s hurting us” you change your goddamn rules so it’s not anymore. like, for fucks sake, think about this in literally any other context but “lesbians are infiltrating artemis’ precious aroace safe space with their romance” and you’ll realize what condescending, homophobic fucks y’all are behaving like right now.
  • on another note: i have expressly explained this before, many times (there’s a link to one of them earlier in this post, and here’s another one), but it apparently bears repeating because nobody seems to understand: virginity is bullshit. it’s bullshit. it’s oppressive, invasive, creepy, misogynistic bullshit. will you stop pulling out this tired old argument that lesbians being allowed in the hunt somehow makes them invalidated? the idea that romance is distracting is stupid and ridiculous and condescending as fuck. the idea that your sexual history is anybody’s business but your own is disgusting. there’s no reason lesbians shouldn’t be able to be together in the hunters. there’s really not. there is a reason men are not allowed, and the reason is it’s a women’s space, to literally protect women from men.
  • this new information about the hunters cheapens the whole goddamn thing. like aside from being homophobic, it’s just plain sexist, now, too—we don’t swear off men because we’re making a statement about our lives in relation to the patriarchy, oh no!! we’re making a statement against romance. romance is bad. that’s the problem. who cares about protecting women from men? certainly not us, because we’ll kill you if you get abused by them! better keep your v card honey, or i’ll turn you into a bear!
  • and that brings me to the whole other subset of people trying to derail the conversation by making it about..rick hate? lol what? that rick is our ally and we should be grateful and he’s not perfect and he’s learning??? yeah, okay, i’m sure the answer to this is for all of us to just never talk about it at all? we’re not allowed to critique our own goddamn representation? how the fuck is he supposed to learn if you just try and smother everyone who tries to critique him by saying “HE’S A GOOD ALLY WHO IS STILL LEARNING!” like…cool? and i’m teaching him that i don’t approve of any of this, and i think it was a really underhanded way to represent us, not to mention still has gaping flaws in it?
  • like, yeah, whatever, i get it, artemis has her hideous flaws in greek myths as well. poseidon’s a rapist, hades’ is an abusive stalker, zeus is a megalomaniac serial rapist, but it’s not as though those were the characters rick chose to make look this bad, now was it? nope, it was artemis. he didn’t have to do that.
  • and even if he did, honestly, at the end of the day…who cares? it doesn’t matter who first created artemis this way. the fact of the matter is that in the series, she is, and that’s homophobic. it doesn’t negate the fact that we’re reeling from encountering homophobia from the hunters. it certainly doesn’t give anyone a license to tell us to shut up and get over it and stop talking and stop blaming rick. it’s homophobic. we’re allowed to talk about it, and be upset about it. let us fucking be.
  • of course the most hilarious thing is that this wouldn’t have even turned into “discourse” in the first place if y’all had just shut your fucking mouths and listened to us. instead, you started arguing, spreading around passive aggressive posts calling us too angry and telling us to chill out, sent us anon hate, blocked us, unfollowed us, and started complaining about all the other things i listed that are just fundamentally missing the point.
Open It

Title: Open It

Characters: Negan x You/Reader

Synopsis: You get shit-faced drunk on Negan’s birthday.

Warnings: NSFW, smut!

Note: Here’s my smut for @negansmutweek​ JDM birthday celebration! Not entire happy with it (but then again, when was I ever satisfied with my fics lmao) but I hope y’all enjoy this! xoxo

You opened your eyes and was met by a surreal blur, match that with an extreme headache with a side of sore throat. Scrunching your face, you let out a groan as you turned to your side to find a more comfortable position on the bed. And then it hit you— you weren’t in your room. You sat up almost too quickly, forgetting about the horrible hangover you woke up to.

“Fuck!” you hissed as you held your head in both your hands.

When you relaxed a tiny bit, you took it as a chance to look around the place. You were sitting on a king-sized bed with clean white sheets. There was a couch across from you, a drawer and cabinet leaning against the wall and a couple more pieces of furniture that somehow gave you an idea whose room you were in. Your heart pounded heavily against your ribcage and your headache grew a hundred times worse when you remembered getting really shit-faced drunk on your boss’ birthday. You looked down and let out a small gasp when you noticed that you were bra-less and was only clad in a loose, grey shirt and just your undies.

Keep reading

ok, so, yesterday morning, I opened at the brew-pub. Our lunch was ridiculous. We were open for maybe ten minutes, and then the entire place was packed. I had literally one table open, and it was just me. I’m the only server. For whatever reason, the kitchen lost this one food ticket (it was crazy busy for them, obviously, it was just two of them, one of them is the normal dishwasher…so basically, shit just happens - no one’s at fault). Anyways, this guy waits a really long time for his food. I feel awful about it. He sweetly tells me that he’s *got* to get back to work and to cancel the order. I go to the back to get the bartender, and boom. There’s his food that *just* came up. I boxed it up for him, apologized again, and grabbed him a to go drink, extra fries, and an order of our chicken skewers. He was totally ok with me (obviously mad about the long wait, but he got it), gave me a $10 tip (on a $12 check), and told me that it was totally ok, he understands that it got crazy, there’s only one of me, and I’m not in the kitchen. As he’s walking out, this bitch that apparently can’t mind her own business at her table stops him and yells at him to tell at me and demand free food AND leave an awful review on yelp. I was like, whoa ok, this doesn’t have anything to do with you, you don’t even work here?? wtf is happening? Guy is just like, fuck off and leaves. I’m freaking out the whole rest of the day because he seemed ok but because of that bitch, he seemed super pissed. I finish my shift, and about an hour after I got home, I get a text from the owner saying he needs to ask me about something from the morning shift. *cue heart attack* I call him and before I can even say anything, he asks me about the guy. I told him what I did. He tells me to check out our Facebook page and call him back. I go to Facebook. This guy wrote this huge review about what a great server I was as well as a PSA about how regardless of what you do, you don’t know what happens in a kitchen until you’ve worked in a kitchen so don’t treat servers like shit for things they can’t control. I wish more people were like him because there’s too many privileged assholes that think that they can just write some bad reviews to be bribed to change them for a comped meal or free shit. That woman complained about everything even when nothing was wrong and was clearly just there to try to get something for free. I’m exhausted by people thinking that if they don’t like what they ordered, that I can just “take it off” or “make a discount”. If you don’t like cheese and beans and crunchy chips and bbq pork, then how about not getting the fucking nachos? If you hate spicy food, don’t ask for wings in our Diablo fire sauce. If you don’t like lettuce, don’t order the fucking wedge salad. Basically, don’t be the bitch; be the cool guy that understands shit lol ok rant over