i literally just realized this because i said it to alex

chaotic--cosmos  asked:

Please talk about the mummy returns

pristinepastel said: Hey, i know you like the first mummy, but what about the mummy returns?

I HAVE RETURNED…after like a day. 

but what the people want, the people get!

RIGHT SO THE MUMMY RETURNS!

aka the only sequel that is 1000% just as good as the first one. like holy shit. 

ten years later and we meet our heroes again. rick and evie are happily married, going on adventures, and evie’s dream of becoming a respected scholar has come true and they’ve made a tiny human! 

the only unrealistic part being that they only had one kid, i mean they are still all over each other ten years later and you’re telling me they only had ONE kid.

okay. sure jan. 

but boy o’ boy is that one kid awesome! 

alex o’connell. this kid is literally:

  • 50% evie super-klutz-genius. 
  • 50% rick screams-at-things-that-are-illogical-to-scream-at. 
  • 50% uncle jonathan’s sheer dumb luck and wit. 
  • 10% i’m really bad at math. 

you get the point. HE’S GREAT. also the actor passed on harry potter because, JUST LIKE ME, the mummy 1999 was his favorite movie and he just HAD to be in the sequel. alex is just such a smart-ass little shit. that much like his mother, accidentally brings about the apocalypse by opening something he shouldn’t have:

Originally posted by rafikecoyote

ARDETH BAY TIME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. he has a much bigger role in this one. GOD BLESS. (because he was supposed to die in the first one, but test audiences loved him as much as we do, so they kept his fine ass around) he still looks prettier than everyone and is still so done with white people once again. 

*after almost being killed on he bus* “this was my first bus ride.”
*after realizing they’re gonna make him fly again* “why can’t you people ever keep your feet on the ground?”

he’s just such an awesome A+ friend goals, because while he probably needs to go be with other medjai to prepare for battle against anubis’ army (yikes), he stays with the fam to rescue alex. it wasn’t even much of a thought for him really, rick and evie just batted their eyelashes and he was like: *sighs* “these white people are always messing my shit up, but they are my white people.”

Originally posted by lestatscherie

jonathan: still beautifully the same as ever. witty, clever, and would do anything for his family. 

“be quiet alex! if there’s going to be any hysterics, they’ll come from me!”

“if you see anyone come running out screaming, it’s just me.”

when he boasts about being a good shot and ardeth is internally like “i’m gonna die.” THEN HE SAVES ARDETH. hell yeah.

Originally posted by aurhireactions

rick: he’s still screaming at things. BUT IN DAD MODE. he’s the ultimate dad.

“you, lighten up. you, big trouble. you, get in the car.”
*sweetly* “honey, what are you doing, these guys don’t use doors.”
“knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you’re about to do to him, but this is my house and i have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.”

Originally posted by lmhotep

evie: still a super-klutz nerd, but with C O N F I D E N C E. little baby librarian is now a honey badger of ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK! and also a re-incarnated princess

“no harm ever came from opening a chest.”

rick: “i swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.”
evelyn: “you mean more attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?”

Originally posted by a-ripley

we meet izzy, another one of rick’s ex boyfriends, who is a much more reliable mode of transportation than previously mentioned murder buses. 

imhotep: still emo. still wants to make out with his gf.

anck su namun/meela: hella good villain. she bomb af and 100% wants to take over the world. amazing. she actually has like a really cool role this time too!!! like so much screen time. 

Originally posted by marimoody

the rock…i mean the scorpion king, he’s another emo villain with goofy cgi rendering and like 4 million terrible made-for-TV spin off movies that you are lying if you haven’t watched at least one of them and felt that utter disappointment. but who cares the rock is pretty. and this was his first acting role and the reason we have him where he is today. 

thank you mummy returns for giving the world actor rock johnson #blessed

Originally posted by charmander-ann

THE ROMANCE AGAIN:

normal action movie sequel romance: same guy. different girl. repeat of first movie’s romance. hehehehhehehehhEHEHEHEHHEHH. 

not here bitch. 

rick and evie’s love has only grown stronger. they still bicker like old ladies at bingo night. the still look at each other like they hung the moon. they’re still disgusting jonathan because they CANNOT KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES. one kid my ass. they still support each other and protect each other like crazy. they love each other so much and it’s so healthy and pure and there is some good in this world mr. frodo.

Originally posted by yocalio

the bottom line here is. what’s the point of watching the mummy 1999 if you aren’t going to watch the mummy returns immediately after?

JUST DO IT.

Originally posted by mummymovies

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 5

Great team work, amigos. Here’s is part 5! 

  1. “Why is there a naked Ken Barbie doll tied up in your room?” “Goddammit, ____! I told you not to go in there!”
  2. “No Candice, I am NOT selling you my soul again.”
  3. “why is the fairy holding a gun.”
  4. “Jesus Christ on a boat made of crackers, what are you doing outside of the pod ship again?”
  5. “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT” “He said I couldn’t… and I thought it was a challenge…”
  6. “How the fuck did you dye the ocean ORANGE?!”
  7. “Why are the roses green?”
  8. “Great, you made death angry.”
  9. ”この___だ!”
  10. “That better be a press on tattoo.”
  11. “If you only listened to the nature, you could learn more than humans ever passed to us.”
  12. “So, we’re dead?” “Well, kind of… yeah.”
  13. “Remind me again why you have a centaur tied up in your truck?”
  14. “Can you stop staring into my soul every time we meet? I feel exposed.”
  15. “You do realize that he wasn’t breathing when he spoke to us, right?”
  16. “I liked you better when you where possessed by that demon friend of yours”
  17. “You’re absolutely in love with him and have been for at least 2 years if you don’t go tell him how you feel I swear to god I will”
  18. “There are worse things in life than death.” “Nobody asked you,Lucifer.” “Just saying.”
  19. “Well, it’s wonderful that you’re having a sexuality crisis, but in case you forgot, we’re kind of in the middle of STOPPING THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!”
  20. “Why is there a horse crashing on our couch?” “Oh, that’s Satan.”
  21. “Why would I hang out with you? You’re so incompetent! Your sacrifice to the faeries was so insufficient!”
  22. “Where the hell did the dragon go?! He was right here!”
  23. “Ok, the recipie calls for two cups of lemon and a cup of sugar, but all I see are cough syrup and battery acid…”
  24. “What do you mean today’s not a Tuesday?!”
  25. “So everyone on Earth had the same dream as me?”
  26. “you know what will solve that? Scotch.”
  27. “I didn’t ask for this!” “… you didn’t?”
  28. “How is it that the least likely outcome is always the outcome I receive?!” “You should go buy a lottery ticket.”
  29. “Guys, i know you’re all busy, but if any of you wants the dinner done, i will need my arm back”
  30. “Of COURSE I care about you. That’s why I sold your soul on the black market.”
  31. “JOHN I AM BEGINNING TO QUESTION THE VALIDITY OF YOUR PLAN” “AS AM I ALEX, AS AM I”
  32. “What?”
  33. “I will take the concept of my rage, transform it into a physical weapon, and use it to BEAT YOU TO DEATH!”
  34. “Did you really HAD to slap the shark?!” “I mean… If you want me to kick it-”
  35. “I don’t care, your tamagotchi dying is not an excuse to wake me up before noon!”
  36. “You are telling me that the socks with hearts that I’ve been mocking since the first day you arrived are, in fact, what keep you alive?” “Yes!” “What?”
  37. “So you really want me to believe that you’re actually from the future?”
  38. “Dude. What have you done. Now we HAVE TO save those aliens!”
  39. “Can you just stop?” “God no, why would I do that?”
  40. “Hey at least I get laid doing it”
  41. “While that’s a lovely story, it doesn’t quite explain the fires.”
  42. “Dude, please tell me that you planned to deal with her guardian angel when you killed her.”
  43. “That’s such a stupid idea… let’s do it.”
  44. “What do you MEAN this just HAPPENS?!” “All the time, actually.”
  45. “I swear, one day you’ll kill us both.” “Oh please, I’ve never been that reckless.” “…” “That was ONE TIME!”
  46. “Why did you buy a nuke?!” “Why wouldn’t I? It was on sale”
  47. “I am fueled purely by rage and instant coffee.”
  48. “How are you a million years old, bit you can’t even remember who George Washington is?”
  49. “Because I gave not, a single shit.”
  50. “Is that a marijuana? In my good  Christian suburbs?!”
  51. “WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE?? YOU NEVER USE THE DRAGON, YOU IDIOT”
  52. “I don’t care if he’s a unicorn, NO ONE EATS MY MINI EGGS!”
  53. “Jesus Christ Lewis! *Again* with the Snails?” “It’s Thursday! You said Thursday’s were okay!”
  54. “Here’s a story for you. I woke up in Vegas as a makeup guru. I was REALLY drunk.”
  55. “If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you…WAIT, NO IT WAS A JOKE, STOP!”
  56. “You’re kinda like hitchhiking Ghost Busters, aren’t you?”
  57. “For gods sake, ditch the fanny pack”
  58. “Take the tomato!” “No, I don’t want the tomato” “JUST TAKE THE TOMATO”
  59. “‘That’s no moon!’ Everyone  remembered Jimmy’s words that night as he scolded his friends for half-heartedly pulling their pants down.”
  60. “WHY IS THERE A BEAR IN MY BATHROOM”
  61. “Can you believe it?” “Just barely.”  "Man, I never thought he would ACTUALLY throw the chair.“
  62. "What did you THINK girl scout cookies were made of?”
  63. “Really? That’s not what I heard from Mrs. Sanchez across the hall!”   “Mom she’s literally a possessed cow, why do you listen to her?”
  64. “You got the rubber chicken, cheese whiz, and dish soap?” “Yep” “Ok, let’s do this!”
  65. “Are you building a life-sized Godzilla at 3am again?”
  66. “Don’t get pissy at me, YOU’RE the one who didn’t say what kind of tea bags to get for the clown!”
  67. "So YOU’RE the guy the math textbooks warned us about.”
  68. “Where’s our cat?” “I thought you were responsible for it?..”
  69. “What do you mean I’m half demon”
  70. “why are you duct taping a cat to the ceiling?” “aesthetic.”
  71. “Hope is a lie. So is philosophy, morality, language in general, the sky, dogs, and about a third of the population of Michigan.”
  72. “So let me get this straight. You filled a Darth Vader costume… With cats?”
  73. “How did I die this time?” “Well, it was pretty quick. I missed it, but from what I can tell, you convinced an entire school of 4000 people to throw watermelons at you all at the same time.” “…And?” “The impact of the watermelons threw you back a couple hundred kilometers and you landed in the ocean…inside the mouth of a particularly hungry shark.” “Goddamn it I wanted this death to be metal!”
  74. “Yesterday I learned that my childhood friend was a demon.”
  75. “Please tell me you said 'What bothers me most.’ "Yes? What the hell did you think I said?” Well….it kinda sounded like “His father’s meatloaf.’
  76. "Goddammit, why won’t you die?!”  "I DON’T FUCKING KNOW! “
  77. "I’d appreciate it if you fucking stopped, thanks.”
  78. “What the hell is this?” “It’s jello, you eat it”
  79. "You didn’t” “I did and I made them watch”
  80. "Why in the hell did you think this was a good idea?” “Look, YOU try saying 'No’ to not just a primordial deity, but my little sister as well.” “…Ok, you got me there.”
  81. “How do you know that it’s supposed to look like this?”
  82. “Are you making *tea*?!” “Well what else am I supposed to do?” “I don’t know maybe STOP THE MONSTER THATS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!!”
  83. “Why are you in a dress?” “Lucifer wanted to have a tea party. You don’t say no to Lucifer”
  84. “So you’re telling me that aliens invaded while I was on vacation?”
  85. “I appreciate the gesture but I prefer my horses fried rather than alive.”
  86. *whining* “But Mooommm, I don’t want to save the woooorrld!”
  87. “Now I know not to cry there”
  88. “What if we DIDNT kill the king every Thursday” “Good idea we’ll kill him on Fridays instead.”
  89. “So you’re a zombie now?” “I guess I am” “So what are you gonna do about it?” “*shrug* I don’t know….”
  90. “I guess you weren’t joking when you said that the world is ruled by ants”
  91. “When I die, tell everyone 'I told you so.’”
  92. “You’re not real… You’re only in those silly books!” “Correction, my dear, you’re the fictional one.”
  93. “There was no 'free pie’ you moron! You stole it!”
  94. “Okay, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that my pet rock has gained sentience, just like we planned! The bad news is that it turns out he’s evil and is currently building a rock army with the intent of taking over the world. aaaand, he’s trying to get Mt. Everest on his side.”
  95. “Why is our baby on a wanted poster?”
  96. “Zombies are people too, Mom!”
  97. “… I’m gonna go for it. Hold my head for me real quick, and don’t put it on a mannequin like you did last time.”
  98. “Fascinating… I was unaware that was physically plausible.” “I know right.”
  99. “ACHOO!” “Bless you.” “No sorry, that won’t work on me.”
  100. “Bye, Felicia. Take you and your cat ears! GO!”

Prepare yourselves, because starting from tomorrow we will be making ‘100 Prompts That Will Make You Cry’ lists. Hope you enjoy this one. Which prompt do you like the most?

i’ve been getting a lot of messages lately (and unsurprisingly, considering how unrepentantly i’ve been reblogging stuff from them) from followers asking me for podcast recommendations - and i love getting those so thank you, guys! - and i thought i’d make a masterpost of what i’ve both a) finished and b) enjoyed since i’ve started bingeing them.  and, as an extra added bonus, what has canonical lgbt+ representation (since i know what you guys are into [waggles eyebrows]).

1. the bright sessions

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  this is definitely the first podcast that i’ve fallen in love with as hard as my original gateway podcast: welcome to night vale.  it’s so well-written, the characters well-drawn, the premise fascinating - atypicals, or people with some sort of special ability, in therapy - and it’s such a positive story and experience that i can’t help but feel better on days i listen to it.  it really believes in humanity and that’s such a wonderful thing in this day and age.  plus, the voice acting is killer.

2. eos 10

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  i don’t think it’s been officially confirmed that dr. dalias is, at the very least, bisexual (in fact, the official channels seem to be dancing around it, possibly so as not to spoil anything in the upcoming season), though it’s been hinted at plenty in story.  especially as i don’t know how else you can explain a supposedly “straight” male character getting called out on repeatedly thinking about a naked man during a group mind-link experience.  that aside, it is freaking hilarious.  the premise is doctors in space, one formerly drug-addicted doctor helping to stabilize a currently alcoholic one with amazing side characters including nurse jane johns and levi, a hypochondriac alien and deposed prince who seems to have a personal vendetta against wearing pants.  it’s well-acted, cleverly written and a freaking joy to listen too.  so funny and so smart, i can’t recommend it enough!

3. the penumbra podcast

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  so much queer representation it’s bananas.  this ask the creators got is actually pretty representative of their approach to the show, slyly funny and very gay.  our main character is a genderbending queer private investigator who’s lost his heart head over a sweet-smelling thief with a heart of gold and more aliases than jennifer garner, all set against a noir backdrop.  oh, and on mars.  yeah, you read all of that right.  there are a few awesome side stories as well, including a couple of horror ones (that have no effect on the main juno steel story line, so can be skipped - and the creators are VERY GOOD about warning what’s to come in the episode notes), as well as lesbian outlaws and a disabled knight.  there’s literally nothing not to love.  EXCEPT FOR HOW JUNO STEEL WON’T LET HIMSELF HAVE NICE THINGS.

4. the black tapes

hey, hi, if you’re into horror, suspense, creepery or demons, this is so very much for you.  the premise is that alex reagan, our host, begins a podcast to interview people with interesting professions.  she starts out with dr. richard strand, a paranormal investigator whose mission statement is to debunk all things paranormal.  he even has an institute that offers a one million dollar prize for proof of the paranormal, which he has never even come close to having to part with.  while alex is interviewing him, she comes across a handful of black vhs tapes: the only cases that strand hasn’t been able to definitively solve yet.  the technology to disprove these incidents simply hasn’t come far enough, in his opinion.  needless to say, she never moves on from dr. strand and the mystery of the black tapes.  each episode, alex investigates another of the black tapes and much later on realizes it’s possible that they’re all connected.  oh my god, i almost got chills just writing that, it’s so good, it’s so real, because dr. strand is such a good anchor to reality.  alex will occasionally lose her skeptic’s perspective; dr. strand does not.  and once alex starts experiencing intense insomnia, making you realize your narrator might not be so reliable?  things somehow manage to get even murkier.  i really, really adored this one.  it’s paranormal set in the most normal of normal worlds, only making it that much spookier.  or, alternatively, avoid this like the motherfucking plague.  [curtsies]  if you’re still intrigued, stop after season one.  two, if you can’t find it in yourself to get off the ride any earlier.  ZEUS HELP YOU IF YOU CONTINUE ON, I AM THE OLD MAN AT THE GAS STATION WARNING YOU TO GO BACK BEFORE YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR, ON YOUR HEAD BE IT IF YOU DECIDED NOT TO HEED IT.

5. wooden overcoats

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  okay, well, if you’ve ever watched black books?  this is kind of like black books, aka one of my all-time favorite shows.  rudyard funn is just as incapable and universally disliked as bernard black, which was all well and good when the village of piffling vale (which is very nearly a town, you know!) only had one funeral home to choose from.  unfortunately, that’s not the case anymore.  eric chapman has moved his funeral home right across the street and stolen all the business from rudyard, his embalmer (cum part-owner) and twin sister, antigone, and georgie, their assistant.  to add insult to injury, he’s charming and universally adored by everyone except those at funn funerals.  very british, very ridiculous, and very funny!  WE GET THE BODY IN THE COFFIN IN THE GROUND ON TIME.  (well, like that one time they did.  [coughs])

6. ars pardoxica

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  i listened to this one pretty slowly, for me.  it’s very much plot over character, at least in my opinion.  which is fair since there’s quite a lot of plot and set dressing to establish.  we’re following (dr.) sally grissom, a scientist from the twenty-first century who accidentally creates time travel and ends up stuck back in the 1940s.  think a bombs and eisenhower.  it was always interesting, and the paradoxes created by the time travel experiments they kept doing were fascinating (i love time travel stuff because of the paradoxes it creates) but i didn’t get really ravenous for it until season two, which is when i really felt it picked up speed.  you’ve got anthony stuck in a literal CAGE - a “blackroom” bubble set outside of time, sally trying to garden (oh god), a gang consisting of a veteran, a (former) widow and time doubles trying to bring down ODAR (the company sally used to work for, and that anthony still does) and esther sliding down the ladder of morally unsound one determined rung at a time and it makes for a REALLY grabbing audio drama, eh?

7. the strange case of starship iris

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  i’m already in love with violet liu, all right?  she’s a science officer on starship iris–well, what was starship iris.  when we first join violet, every single one of her crew mates has just died in an explosion on the pod they were traveling off ship with and the starship iris is in its last throes as well.  luckily(?) a passing ship comes along with a plan to get her to safety.  this has a real illuminae vibe to it (which is an amazing book btw) and all the characters are already so freaking likable.  it’s only on episode two and already shaping up to be a favorite!

8. the orbiting human circus (of the air)

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  if there’s a more heart-warming podcast out there, then i haven’t run across it yet.  first of all, julian koster’s voice is so vulnerable and soft that i would use myself and everyone i know and also puppies as a shield against everything terrible in the universe for him.  second, the rest of the cast - leticia especially - is just as freaking talented.  the premise is that julian is the janitor at a radio show that broadcasts from the top of the eiffel tower and has strange and impossible acts every night, from tale-telling crickets to singing saws to the orkestral, a bird that can play every orchestral instrument (except that it refuses to play the viola, because reasons).  it’s fun and cute and breaks your heart with happiness regularly and often!

9. alice isn’t dead

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  this is a horror podcast about a truck driver who is looking for her missing wife.  jasika nicole has to have one of my favorite voices around and having it be so heavily dependent on that makes me ridiculously happy.  throw in the story-telling of joseph fink, the depth and cohesiveness of his writing, and there is nothing not to love here.

10. within the wires

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  this is really sufficiently creepy considering it’s not often overtly creepy.  this is set up as a series of relaxation tapes, which progressively get more and more interested in helping the listener break out of the facility in which she’s being kept.  super chilling at times, because the voice is so calm and the action so dangerous.

11. welcome to night vale

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  okay, well, what more can be said about this at this point?  if you’re not listening to it, you’re wrong.  why wouldn’t you want to visit a town that can’t be visited and where every conspiracy theory is real and a part of everyday life?  yeah, everyone knows about the vague yet menacing government agency, steve carlsberg, you’re not hitting on anything new there.  there’s a dog park that doesn’t allow dogs, angels that are never to be identified as angels, mountains that aren’t real, a glow cloud that–ALL HAIL and a love story so complete and perfect that it can and will utterly steal your breath at times.  go, listen, inhale.

Mistake

Vegas | Tease | Oops | D | Game | Mistake

Series: Vegas

Note: The moment you all have been waiting for… Hold onto your caps, people, because this one is a roller coaster.

Word Count: 3586

Warnings: Language, angst…no smut in this one, guys. 😳

Tagging:  @gwash4prez @jazy2015 @alexanderhamllton @this-ally-loves-you @duckoffury @hamrevolution @curiositykilledthecompanion @thegirlonhamilton @shinymarbles @legattoassassino @nadialinett14 @an-abundance-of-hannahs @someonesblogger @the-ashy-phoenix @hamiltrashinn @texasprincess3 @patchesthed00t @teenage-band-loser @hetafairyaot @hmltntrsh51 @kkoolaid1 @londonbridgefalling @ashthewinchestergirl @aquamarrineee @pearltheartist @bluesnowyangel @sitdownjohn-youfatmotherfucker @edge-oftonight @vishuddhakid @kink-george @loopietoopie @hamil-scribbles @iamgrayfox @zaire-is-worth-it @hamiltonwasbienough @butter-times @lilybutterworthstuff @velvetsirius @fandom-nerdness7 @snoozing-hippogriffs-23 @agent-fangirl @traash-canz @meand-mybrain @jadee-ee @oshlow @me—lancholy @ridiculousn3ssfangirl @pearltheartist @bluesnowyangel @finnydraws @secretary-thomas-jefferson @completehamiltrash @clamilton @for-god-sake-john-sit-down @manateegrl @meavenel @hamilsquadsrighthandman @seungcheoljpg @hell-yes-puns-and-ships @i-am-trash1828 @helplessly-hamiltrash @haletotheking24 @bootybiersack @thoughtfulbearpanda @5vibesofsummer @completehamiltrash @canadianfruitpunch @faatlouie @accidentally-impeccable @ask-sherlock-221b @missgallaxy @nonxstop @emilysyrup @erinlikestrains @basheverythingyesterday @yukiyoru @duckslier3 @sweetestjensener @pearltheartist

You knew you’d fucked up.

The second those words flew out of your mouth, your eyes shot open and your breath caught in your throat. You were quickly shaken from the spell Daveed had placed you under, and as reality settled in, you began to panic.

Without delay, you pushed Daveed off you and clambered off the bed. He was silent and you didn’t know if it was because he was in shock or because he was still coming down from his high, but either way, you knew you had to get out of there before he started speaking.

You were pulling your jeans on hastily when you finally spoke up. “I uh…I-I gotta go.” You said, trying to hide the fact that you were on the verge of tears. “It’s really late and I think I forgot to do something back home.”

“Y/N…” Daveed breathed softly, pushing himself up on his elbows to look at you.

Keep reading

1940 -- Chapter One

(banner credit: @tiostyles)

The beginning of a series where you fall in love with a soldier named Alex.

A Note From The Author: This is the first of many chapters for this Alex!AU. This chapter is simply setting the scenes for what is to come between y/n and Alex. Stay tuned for swing dancing, cheeky banter from Alex, and a few stolen kisses along the way. Let me know what you think! xxh


April, 1938
London, England 

The store sat empty, as it did most days of the week. Dust regularly collected on the cash register sitting in front of you and its brass keys grew stiff with the lack of activity. With your elbows propped up on the counter, you leaned your weight forward and held your chin in the hand that wasn’t busy drumming across the countertop. They tapped in time with the clock ticking on the wall, a constant reminder that you were stuck here on such a lovely day outside.

It was unusually warm for this time of year. Normally covered in a dreary layer of gray, the sidewalks and storefronts shone in the rare-April sunshine, people out and about, taking advantage of the weather. You were antsy as you watched out the window, hoping that someone, anyone, would walk through the door and give you something to talk about.

Keep reading

Fic Rec #2

Time for some weekly recs!!! Also there is something I want to address… The Larry fandom has amazing fic writers (and content creators in general) but there is a serious lack of active readers in the fandom. If you love a fic or have enjoyed reading it, please leave a comment to appreciate their hard work! It doesn’t take you much time but it makes their day!! It also encourages them to write more! Keeping that in mind, let us move on to the actual fic rec:


  Ever Since by letsjustsee  @letsjustsee      

A very fluffy AU where Louis finds a lost dog that he wishes he could keep - until he meets his owner, who he wishes he could keep more. 

**This was such a cute and fluffy AU! It will melt your heart!


 New Man by make_this_feel_like_home   

Louis Tomlinson is newly single for the first time in his adult life. He’s just ended his relationship with his uni-sweetheart and things are messy to say the least. Zayn has never been good at coping, so when he flaunts his new man to Louis, Louis is less than surprised. He knows it’s not going to last. Harry has horrible taste in food, drinks beer but inexplicably has a six-pack, owns the ugliest boots known to man-kind and has a really kind heart. Louis shouldn’t still be so tangled up in his old life, and he definitely shouldn’t be having regular conversations with his ex’s new boyfriend… but things are messy.

Or, The one where Louis falls for his old man’s new man.

** Inspired by Ed Sheeran’s song! There is a bit of zouis and zarry but nothing explicit.


 Like Candy In My Veins by littlelouishiccups  @littlelouishiccups    

Um…” Harry said slowly after a moment. “Okay. That’s… this is… Let me get this straight.” He lifted up a hand and swallowed. “You told your family that you have a boyfriend… and my name was the first one you thought of?”

 “Harry Potter was on TV, alright? It wasn’t that much of a stretch.” Louis pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t believe he was explaining himself to Harry fucking Styles. He couldn’t believe he was stooping this low. “Forget it. I’m sorry I even thought about bringing you into this.”

Harry snorted. “What? Did you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend or something?”

**This is an old one that I reread. A very cute fake relationship AU. Plus A/B/O. So win-win!!


Cold Little Heart by seducedbycurls (WIP)

Louis is a soft omega with an abusive past and an alpha child
A few months after getting a divorce, Louis meets Harry, an ex-military alpha wolf that offers him something -odd.

In exchange for teaching him how to cook, Harry will babysit his son, Abraham
Louis really could use the help.

**Oh god!! This fic! At last we have a kid fic where the kid actually acts like a kid!!! Abby or Abraham is so cute here and there is no kid playing matchmaker stuff here which I love because it is much more believable like that! This story is heartwarming and the character dynamics are to die for! Harry might seem a little ooc but it is for a reason. Give this fic a read (BTW, the author’s writing style is a little unique. It gets some getting used to. They have written one of my all time fav fics but that is for another time)


 Never Let Me Go by loveisalaserquest17   @loveisalaserquest17

  Harry and Louis have been friends forever, but they couldn’t be more different. One night, with a little too much alcohol, they make a pact to marry in ten years if they’re both still single.
Now, one month before the deadline, Louis is willing to do whatever it takes to avoid ending up with his best friend. But is he, really? | Loosely inspired by The 10 Year Plan    

**This fic was good! The angst comes in small but powerful doses!


It’s a Better Place (Since You Came Along) by  phdmama  @phdmama

When Harry Styles, a mid-level talent, Finder, and small business owner, sets off on the vacation of a lifetime with his best friend, Niall Horan, he has no idea the changes his life will undergo over the next nine days. He’s got it all planned - there’s going to be shore excursions, lounging by the pool on the deck of the luxurious cruise ship, not to mention margaritas. What he does not plan for are the new friends, new bonds, or the mystery from his past that comes back to haunt him, and he certainly hasn’t planned for Louis. 

**Another reread! The setting of the fic is very unique. That is the first thing that drew me in. The characters (especially Louis) are very nicely fleshed out. Also, prepared to be surprised!


Be with me so happily by BriaMaria     @briannamarguerite

the one where Harry Styles has a bad reputation and a heart of gold, and Louis Tomlinson wishes he wasn’t so enchanted by boys who looked like Disney characters and wore shirts with bumble bees on them.

[aka Louis is the director of the Styles Elephant Sanctuary and really doesn’t want to babysit his funder’s spoiled lay-about son for two months]

**Ooh another unique fic. Louis is the director of an elephant sanctuary and Harry is the son of Anne, the main sponsor of the said sanctuary. Its kind of enemies to lovers!!


 heading for a small disaster by suspendrs       @suspendrs 

He and Harry have never had an interaction outside of this car, and they probably never will. After all, Harry is just the guy that drives Louis to work, and Louis is just another customer. That’s all they are, really.

Harry drives an Uber and Louis’s life is falling apart.              

**This fic hits you like a ton of bricks. If you want to cry in a very uncool way, read this.


Your Good Side by sweetums   @darlou  

“Hi, I’m Harry. I don’t think we’ve met yet, just wanted to say I’m excited to work with you.” Harry says once he’s walked over, smiling at Louis. He would go for a handshake but that seems a bit too formal maybe.

“Hi, are you one of the extras?” Louis responds, clearly trying to be polite and failing. Harry feels himself start to frown.

“Er, no, I’m Harry, Harry Styles? I play Alex.” he explains. Obviously he’s not egotistic enough to think everyone on set should know who he is. But then again, they did so far.

“Ohhh, the pop star right?” Louis quips.

And okay. That’s probably the most blatant anyone has been about their preconceptions of him.

“Well, yeah, I’m in a band if that’s what you mean. We’re on a hiatus right now but we’re still working on music.” he says, trying not to be affected by Louis’ condescension.

“Right, so not an actor. Just a way to get us more press.” It’s annoying but Louis’ slight smirk really suits him. He’s literally standing there insulting Harry but Harry feels almost charmed. Still offended, though.

AU where Harry can’t seem to win over his Dunkirk co-star. Inspired by Joey and Kate from Friends.

**I loved this one. We seriously need more Dunkirk AUs in this fandom. Plus its based on FRIENDS! 


Paint Me In A Million Dreams by green_feelings @greenfeelings

Harry’s one of Hollywood’s biggest actors, has made a name for himself in prestigious films and lives the life of a superstar. There’s just one thing missing to make it picture-perfect, but the one Harry’s in love with is completely out of reach for him. Enter Louis, one of Hollywood’s biggest actors himself, who just came out of the closet and taps new genres in the industry. When Louis sacks the role Harry auditioned for in Scorsese’s next big film, their irrational feud starts. Who could have guessed it would get even worse when for promo season, their teams decide to present them as a couple for publicity?

In short, Harry’s in love with someone and doesn’t care about dating anyone else, Louis never felt home in L.A., Liam writes love songs for someone he shouldn’t write love songs to, and Niall makes everything better with good food.

**Oooh I reread this fic a lot! And I was there when it was just a baby. I don’t really need to say much about a green_feelings fic, do I? You already know how good it will be!!! 


 How Fast You Fall by FullOnLarrie    @fullonlarrie

They meet as transfer students at university orientation, and Louis wants Harry the first time he sees him. But Louis isn’t looking for a boyfriend. With school and work, he doesn’t have time for anything more than a casual hookup. When they become roommates, Louis decides it’s best not to pursue Harry and take the chance of messing up their living situation. They quickly become good friends and soon Louis realizes that his attraction is much more than just physical. However, because Harry has a plan to stay single and celibate until he graduates, Louis assumes that he doesn’t stand a chance, and tries everything he can think of to make himself forget about his feelings for Harry.      

**Oh sweet angst! There is plenty of it here! And I love it! As Harry would say:

 

Happy Reading!! And Don’t forget to show the authors some love!!                  

iiithisismyusernameiii  asked:

I know this isn't your norm but can we have some kind of SuperCorp Bridal Style something? Because you know they are obviously dating now... right?

“Oh come on, Alex, she totally knows.”

Alex pffts and looks away and looks back and looks away and looks back.

“Noooo.”

“Alex. Yes. She does.”

Alex squints and leans across the bar to get a better look at Lena, at the way she’s fawning over Kara, at the way Kara’s leaning into her, the way Kara’s arm looks like it’s just twitching to toss itself over Lena’s shoulders.

“I’m not saying she doesn’t like Kara for Kara – hell, she seems even more in love with Kara than she’s enamored with Supergirl – but I’m saying, Danvers. She’s not stupid. And we’ve already agreed that the glasses really…”

“Are ridiculous, yeah,” Alex murmurs distractedly, staring all the harder at her sister and her sister’s maybe-not-really-what-are-you-talking-about-Alex-we’re-just-friends-come-on-I-mean-sure-I-like-her-what’s-not-to-like okay-I’m-gonna-stop-you-right-there-Little-Danvers-because-what’s-not-to-like-is-literally-the-phrase-your-sister-used-about-me-right-before-she-became-my-girlfriend girlfriend.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Lena asks Kara on the other side of the bar when she catches Alex and Maggie both staring.

Kara has to try – hard – not to tell her exactly what Alex and Maggie are talking about, because in a bar this crowded, this loud, there would be no other way to explain her knowledge except superhearing. And she’s going to tell Lena – really, she is – but not yet, because she’s terrified, because Lena likes Kara for Kara, which is unbelievable and amazing but what if when she realizes that Kara is also Supergirl, she doesn’t like her for… her… anymore?

But she can’t say all that, not yet, not yet, so she splutters and she adjusts her glasses and she tries very hard not to spill her club soda all over her baby blue collared shirt that Lena had commented earlier brought out her eyes beautifully.

“Oh, um… probably… girlfriend stuff. Definitely girlfriend stuff.” She adds an authoritative nod for good measure, and Lena’s laughter sounds like faerie wings, and Kara’s heart leaps because she’s laughing, but she’s not laughing at Kara, and that… she… is perfect.

“Girlfriend stuff,” Lena deadpans, her voice rich and low and full of barely contained amusement.

Kara adjusts her glasses again. “Yeah. Like uh… what… hey, what do girlfriends talk about, anyway?”

Lena takes a long sip of her wine, and Kara tries – and fails – not to look at her lips.

“The same things we do, probably,” Lena answers after a thoughtful swallow, and Kara’s stomach flips because sometimes she thinks she knows Lena so well, but when they go anywhere near… this territory… she just can’t figure out what her feelings are… if she’s just happy to have a friend, or if these dates they’ve been going on are actually… you know…. dates.

She should ask Alex. Or Maggie. Or both. But not now. Not now, because now, Lena is draining her wine and standing up and Kara’s ex-boyfriend – not the amazing one – naturally chooses that moment to cross behind her, causing Lena to overbalance, to stumble, to start to fall.

Kara doesn’t think and she doesn’t calculate. She just sweeps one arm under Lena’s thighs and the other, strong around her back, scooping her up bridal style so she doesn’t fall, so she doesn’t roll her ankle, so she doesn’t…

But oh. Oh. Oh no.

Because now Lena’s breath is hitched and Alex and Maggie’s jaws are both on the bar and Lena’s pupils are dilating and her breath smells of wine and nothing has ever smelled so perfect and Kara can hear her heartbeat, feel it, and she hasn’t had anything but club soda but Rao does she suddenly feel drunk, and Rao is Lena’s body warm, and Lena’s arms are wrapped around her neck and Lena is speaking, softly, speaking, low, speaking, intimate.

“Well, these arms certainly do feel familiar,” Lena’s practically whispering, and it doesn’t matter that the bar is crowded, and it doesn’t matter that the bar is loud, and it doesn’t even matter that Kara has superhearing: the words penetrate her every cell with subtle, heated precision.

“I… I didn’t want you to… fall,” Kara splutters, and neither woman says anything about the fact that Kara still hasn’t put her down.

“Oh, Kara Danvers,” Lena husks softly, “I told you. You are my hero. I know you’d never let me fall” She brings her lips to Kara’s ear easily, protective of her secrets, of her safety, of her comfort and of her happiness. “Whether you’re in or out of that suit and cape.”

Heat sears throughout Kara’s entire body, and she has no words because she barely has breath, and she pulls back so she can look Lena in the eyes, and Rao she can’t help the way she glances down at her lips once, twice, three times, until Lena breathes, until Lena wets them, until Kara can’t take it anymore and closes the gap, because she can’t process anything except Lena, Lena, Lena.

They startle apart at a loud whoop from across the bar, and Kara sets Lena down gently, carefully, though they stay entangled in each other’s arms, entangled in each other’s breath.

“Boom! You owe me that flash grenade, Danvers!” 

“I never said the glasses aren’t ridiculous!”

“Flash grenade!”

“Do we want to know why your sister’s girlfriend wants a flash grenade to begin with?” Lena grins into Kara’s ear.

“Not even a little bit,” Kara grins, and finishes what she started, and Rao, are Lena’s lips soft, and perfect, and smiling into their kiss, and Rao, Rao, Rao, she likes me for me, for me, for me.

Thoughts on The Emoji Movie

           It came as no surprise to me, or anyone else, that The Emoji Movie was a disastrous train-wreck of a movie with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. From the moment it was announced, The Emoji Movie was a joke, little more than a punchline of what corporate Hollywood would make just to pander to a younger audience. Yet, by creating the shoddy garbage pile of a “film” (I use this term sparingly) that is The Emoji Movie, Hollywood has done something incredible—they have killed art.

PART ONE

           The “plot” of The Emoji Movie is one that has been presented countless times before: a misfit must leave home to change himself but learns along his adventure that his true value lies in his uniqueness. In this iteration of the “finding yourself” story the hero is Gene, a socially-outcast “meh” emoji who is terrible at what he does—he has all sorts of “non-meh” feelings that he simply can’t contain. On his first day of work, he is called upon from his emoji station to be used, but he freaks out at the last minute and causes a glitch in the sending of the emoji, leading to Alex (the phone’s user) embarrassing himself in front of the girl he likes. Because of this, the smiling emoji, Smiler, who is the “big status quo boss lady” decides to kill him. Gene, however, runs away from the antivirus software and hides in the “loser emoji” section of Textopolis (the city where all the emojis live together). There he meets Hi-5, who was once a famous and well-liked emoji who got to stay in the “favorites” section of Alex’s phone, but hasn’t been used in weeks and now seeks to regain his lost fame.

           In order to reprogram Gene’s malfunction and get Hi-5 back into the favorites section, the pair leave Textopolis and go to a piracy app that Alex, a fifteen-year-old boy, has on his phone for some reason. Gene’s parents then leave after him to try and find him and Smiler sends her antivirus robot soldiers outside Textopolis to apprehend Gene. Meanwhile, in a story beat stolen straight from Wreck-It Ralph and The Lego Movie, they meet Jailbreak, a hacker emoji who serves as the purple-haired punk love interest for the movie. Jailbreak refuses to help them at first, but when she sees Gene’s ability to express multiple faces, she agrees to work together to get to “the source code” in “the cloud.” Then, the antivirus robots appear in the piracy app, (despite the fact that they were given orders to follow Gene’s parents, who are nowhere in sight) and the hero trio escape through a tunnel to Candy Crush where Gene gets trapped and they have to play the game to help him escape. This scene has absolutely no bearing on the rest of the film and is only an overblown advertisement for a phone app, which one will likely notice as a reoccurring theme in this movie.

           After escaping Candy Crush, they take a tunnel to Dance Now (available now in the app store) and they have to play the game because Hi-5 pushed a button for some reason. Here they reveal that Jailbreak can’t dance, and the dramatic stakes are heightened, except they aren’t because Gene teaches her how and then they do the “Emoji Bop” together in what I assume is supposed to be a display of self-love. But oh no! The antivirus robots show up again somehow, so our trio has to escape fast, or risk being deleted. Then, because his phone is playing Dance Now music during class, Alex deletes the app, and Hi-5 fails to escape, sending him to “the trash.”

           Naturally, because of the friendship that the three characters have cultivated together after knowing each other for two hours, Jailbreak and Gene decide to use Spotify to travel to the trash and rescue their companion. Meanwhile, Gene’s “meh” parents have had a falling out because each one blames the other for their son malfunctioning. It’s ok though, because they meet in an Instagram photo and Gene’s dad reveals that he malfunctions too, so naturally they make it all up it each other Alex also decides to delete his entire phone because it sent the wrong emoji one time and made noises on its own. Gene and Jailbreak then save Hi-5 from the trash and they’re chased by a bigger, badder antivirus that follows them until they get to Dropbox, where it can’t get them for some reason.

           They then have to upload themselves to the cloud, and each character uses their own talents to get past the firewall. At this point the movie realizes it makes no sense and in a series of nonsensical rapid-fire events proceed as follows: Gene professes his love to Jailbreak, who it turns out is actually a princess emoji, Jailbreak denies him because of a throwaway line earlier in the movie about her being an empowered woman, the antivirus appears somehow and takes Gene back to Textopolis so he can die in front of the other emojis, Jailbreak and Hi-5 fly back on the Twitter bird to rescue him, Alex begins to delete his phone but chooses not to when Gene sends himself to Addie and she responds with “that was a cool emoji” (verbatim), Smiler is crushed by a giant robot, the emojis have a dance party, and everyone lives happily ever after.

           Watching the shoddy piece of work The Emoji Movie calls a story, I felt my head spinning with questions—not just regarding the plot holes and contrivances, but to the world itself. How do emojis reproduce? If emojis age in years, as is stated in the movie, how could any emoji be older than the amount of time Alex has had his phone? What if an emoji isn’t at the station when it is called upon? How does time flow in the phone as opposed to outside of it? Are all the emojis that marry the same emojis incestuous? Why do some emojis have names like “Gene” while others are simply called by their appearances, like Hi-5? Why is the Christmas tree shown in public in the first scene but then shown in the loser lounge two scenes later? How do the emojis know the history of their app? Why do actions in some apps affect Alex’s phone while actions in other apps do not? How to the antiviruses find Gene and his crew over and over again? Why didn’t Smiler send any antiviruses after Jailbreak when she first left Textopolis? Why does Alex try to delete his phone after sending one incorrect emoji and having it make noise in class twice? How does the illegal antivirus get into Dropbox? How did Smiler get the illegal antivirus? Why did Smiler feel the need to kill Gene in front of the other emoji? Why did Smiler feel a need to kill Gene in the first place? Why does the girl on the Dance Now app ignore jailbreak messing up after the second time? How do all the emojis come back from deletion? If the trash is emptied out daily why is an email from weeks ago still in there? And, most importantly, why did I choose to watch this movie. The Emoji Movie does not answer these question, because it doesn’t care.

           The Emoji Movie doesn’t care about its story, its congruity, or the specifics of its world, because none of it matters. The story beats, directly stolen from other, better, movies, are still in place, and none of the specifics beyond set up for this formulaic and unoriginal wholesale feel-good message have any relevance to the story. The pink-haired rogue stolen straight from The Lego Movie has no personality beyond what the plot demands, and the same can be said for almost any of the other characters. Gene, or, discount Wreck-It Ralph, has the defining personality trait of “feeling things” and his story arc leads to him “feeling more things” and Hi-5’s slightly more defined emotional journey leads from him wanting fame to wanting friends. All the other characters in the story are even less one-dimensional, somehow, with personality traits that are all literally written into their very names and appearances.

           But ultimately, these characters are simply set pieces. There is no investment in the world of the emojis, no feeling when the entire phone is deleted. Half the scenes in the movie are just cash cow product placement filler, and it becomes clear when one realizes halfway through the movie that none of the adventures they have seem to matter, even within the context of their own story. When the characters themselves seem to realize that their journey is pointless, it becomes impossible for an audience to care about or interact meaningfully with the film that they’re viewing, and the best that any viewer can conjure is a “meh.”

PART TWO

           The story of The Emoji Movie is a clear cash grab, and rivetingly unengaging in its poor execution, but more lies beneath the surface. The morals that The Emoji Movie tries to impart to its audience are well-intentioned (as any moral is), but also inherently flawed, and violently mangled in every scene where they are introduced. Indeed, the heaping dumpster fire of a film that titles itself The Emoji Movie exists on multiple levels of terribleness, not using poor storytelling techniques, but imparting poor morals through these techniques as well. It often contradicts itself, falling flat on its face and hopelessly bumbling between individualistic self-love and a quite utilitarian doctrine—almost impressive.

           The Emoji Movie has all the markings of a summer Hollywood “live your true self” movie at its beginning. The main character has a specific, boring role that he is expected to serve unquestioningly, and is made a pariah for breaking from this role. His sidekick also rebels against the system in his own right, trying to cheat his way back into a position of power. By focusing on these two, the story accentuates the flaws with the emoji system and how it emotionally damages those who are forced to suffer under it. Even the villain, Smiler, is affected in her own right—he constant need to maintain happiness seems to have driven her to a place of near insanity. In the opening monologue (a completely different problem), Gene points this out this flaw to the audience by noting how the laughing and crying emojis can never break their character and the viewers begin to see the thriving city of Textopolis as a flawed dystopia. However, after the first scene, little attention is given to these flaws, instead focusing on Smiler herself as a villain. The plight of the “loser emojis” (emojis that don’t ever get used) is also fantastically mishandled. They are only seen twice in the movie and the second time is in a post credit scene where they remain in their basement, unaffected by the event of the entire movie. After sitting through an entire movie with the message that we should be ourselves instead of acting how society tells us to, we see that by nature, some people will (or must) always be excluded from the metaphorical “emoji dance party” for being themselves. The “self” that The Emoji Movie pushes is not just a best self, but also a “most useful” self.

           This is expanded upon in Gene’s journey, where he goes from being a hyperactive “meh” emoji to (briefly) being a good “meh” emoji to finally learning to use his true power as a multi-faceted expression emoji. In the stages before he discovered his true potential, Gene was outcast by his peers—and any viewer could argue that this was rightfully so. Gene broke the emoji picking device and injured dozens of emojis in the process of his one mistake and possibly endangered the safety of the entire phone. Gene then realizes his mistake and goes off to “fix” himself, only to come back stronger and more useful than ever. As is the case in many stories, Gene is accepted only after his usefulness becomes apparent, and the villain is revealed as a bloodthirsty authoritarian rather than the level-headed leader the denizens of Textopolis cited her as being. All is forgiven for Gene and the emojis are given a world where they can serve their own purpose to society, whatever that purpose might be.

           Utilitarian theory is nothing new, and it has both its merits and its flaws, but the type of utilitarianism presented in The Emoji Movie is inherently flawed, as it places Gene’s happiness above the well-being of the collective for the majority of the movie. The ending in itself is also serves as a perfect propaganda point for the utilitarian theory that it begins to uphold later on. Gene obtains happiness when he is most useful to the group collective—and thus, happiness becomes associated with utility to the group. Instead of positing that happiness can be found through the self, or that the self can and should be used to help others, The Emoji Movie combines the two, raising the idea that true bliss can only be achieved when your “self” is given to others.

           Ultimately, this idea is an idea that I disagree with. Whether or not you choose to side with me is up to you, but, speaking objectively, the romanticizing of self-sacrifice is an idea that has tangible harm on audiences who are fed it without question. Modern Japan, for instance, continued to have problems with high suicide rates due to the presentation of hara-kiri, or suicide by sword as “altruistic” in many historical texts (Suicide in 20th Century Japan, 150). This is not to say that using one’s self to assist others is harmful—good deeds are the basis of a functioning society—it is simply to note that the mixed messages that The Emoji Movie gives point towards both complete discovery and complete subjugation of the self in an unhealthy and shoddy portrayal of a moral that has always been cliched at best.

           The Emoji Movie also makes the mistake of attempting to tackle “women’s issues,” despite not even passing the Bechdel Test. Throughout the movie, Jailbreak’s primary motivator is that she wants to be free to express herself however she wants, which she will obtain by reaching the cloud. The movie attempts to attach this to womanhood by attaching this to Jailbreak wanting to escape the oppressive strictures of heteropatriarchal femininity—except, in the finale, she is framed as being in the wrong for not reciprocating Gene’s feelings for her. Not just this, but the day is saved by her using her femininity and consenting to be with Gene, despite her feelings on the matter never being brought up for discussion. Despite the single throwaway line about “men getting credit for women’s work” The Emoji Movie is not pro-woman, and could easily be interpreted as the opposite of that. It defines traditional femininity as being the most useful aspect of a woman to a society and inherently ties all its female characters to something within that stricture, pushing its heteropatriarchal utilitarianist propaganda points deep into the dirt as it tries the make the point that “sensitive guys are cool too.” This is not to say that women who embrace their traditional femininity are by any means being women incorrectly—The Emoji Movie just happens to portray its women poorly, using them always as tools for the man-driven plot and never fleshing them out as characters.

           Tony Leondis offered his own interpretation of The Emoji Movie’s story, calling it a “coming-out story” which is significant, as Leondis is both the director of the movie and a gay man. If one looks from a distance and squints, the similarities between The Emoji Movie and a coming-out story can become visible. Gene is outcast for his “malfunction” as many gay teens will be. The butchering that follows this plot point is incredibly poorly done, and leads to something to utterly offensive and heterosexual to be called a “coming-out story.” First and foremost, a “coming-out story” needs to reach the very low bar of deviating from traditional heterosexuality in its story’s romantic subplots, somehow. This seems to go without saying, but the team of The Emoji Movie conveniently forgot this, instead tripling down on the action and giving the audience three heterosexual romantic subplots, those being the ones between Alex and Addie, Gene and Jailbreak, and Gene’s Mother and Father. None of these deviate at all from a traditional heterosexual romantic story, and, if anything, Gene and Jailbreak’s story enforces obligatory heterosexuality instead of contradicting it. Not only that, but the farther one goes into the plot, the less a coming out story makes sense. When Gene’s father reveals that he has the same malfunction, is he being implied to be the emoji version of “gay?” In a better movie, this could have been used as a tool to foster an emotional connection between Gene and his father, but The Emoji Movie is not that better movie, so this plot point is essentially forget after it becomes irrelevant. In the finale, Gene actually watches his parents get “erased” and can’t break out any expression except a “meh,” which is telling of how well the emoji movie establishes connections between its characters.

           The themes explored in The Emoji Movie are explore poorly at best, and offensively at worst, often taking a back seat to the far more important message of the film—the advertisements. Ultimately, the reason that The Emoji Movie does such a terrible job with its ideas is that these ideas are only borrowed plot points, there to mask the movie for what it really is—a massive commercial for phone apps. The true message of The Emoji Movie isn’t “be yourself” or even “make yourself useful” it’s “buy our product,” and everything beyond this is simply pointless fluff.

PART THREE

           It’s no secret that The Emoji Movie was a corporatist cash-grab, but it was astounding to see just how deeply that had sunk into the movie itself. The entire story is product placement after product placement, a journey to Dropbox, through Candy Crush and Dance Now,  so unabashed in its capitalism that it made me question the film industry as a whole. Where do we draw the line between business and art? At what point do we leave all hope of creativity behind and choose to instead sink into shameless cash grabs and commercials like The Emoji Movie? Then I realized, with a sinking feeling in my gut, that The Emoji Movie had indeed killed art.

           On its first day, The Emoji Movie made ten million dollars in box office sales—a fifth of what it cost to produce. Despite withering reviews and constant scorn from the demographics it seemed to be targeting, The Emoji Movie will chuckle through its entire life as a movie, because it played us all. This movie is a Frankenstein’s monster created by Hollywood, a mishmash of everything that makes money crammed into one pandering mess of a film, and I’m sure it knows this. I’m sure it knows that it looks like a dumb, out of touch, unwatchable pile of garbage, but I’m also sure that it doesn’t care about this, because it’s found a way to make money without even trying.

           The Emoji Movie probably paid for itself in the sheer amount of advertisements it crammed into its ninety minute runtime, and the young, impressionable minds watching it will all be immediately entranced by the colorful scenery of lands like Spotify and Candy Crush. Sales will go up for the sponsors, and the Hollywood capitalist fat-cats who decided that a movie should be made out of emojis will laugh all the way to their enormous Beverly Hills mansions. They knew that they could take advantage of the “car crash phenomenon” that makes people stare at things they shouldn’t, so they sent The Emoji Movie out to their theatres and made a quick buck for Sony Animation.

           But beyond this, The Emoji Movie sets a precedent. It showed that idiots like me can be drawn to this shit like moths to a light. It showed that movies do not need to have good quality, or have be art, to be marketable, and that the film industry should prioritize business and profits above all else. The Emoji Movie has proved, statistically, that quality cinema should always come second to quality advertising. The time to organize against the Hollywood capitalist is now. A boycott of terrible Sony films is the least the we can do to stop them, even though such an action would be little more than a thorn in their hide. We Must accept that our idiocy and submission to this trash is at least partially responsible for the state of film as it is in America today, and we must break free of the chains that force us into our roles as submissive cash cows.

           Good cinema does good things for those that watch it. It can be used as a tool to convey important and revolutionary ideas, or to relay important information to those that are systemically spat on by traditional education. Historically great films have caused great controversy, such as the movie adaptation of To Kill a Mockingbird which caused riots in the south upon its release. When we let film fall to business we lose a part of our cultural identity—we submit art, heritage, and storytelling as just another part of a capitalist machine.

           We have the buying power. We choose where we spend our money, and where we place our values. No longer can I sit idly in my movie seat and watch terrible movies for fun—the time for action against the greatest threat to art in the western world is now. Resist capitalism, resist the state, and resist the attack upon the most basic human freedom of expression.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Until next time, Comrades.

-Sunshine

B99 + Childhood Friends AU: in which Jake attends each of Amy’s eleven birthdays at the planetarium.

  • 6 year old Jake alternates between pulling little Amy’s pigtails and running around exhibits with her older brothers. 
    • He tires himself out and falls asleep halfway through the afternoon planetarium space show. Mrs. Santiago has to carry him around the museum for half an hour after that, until he’s awake enough to walk around on his own.
  • 7 year old Jake makes it his personal mission to win every single party game that year. Any other kid might cry over how competitive (i.e. mean) Jake is being, but Amy stands her ground and manages to beat him in nearly every game. 
    • In the end, Jake’s the one who’s in tears. Karen has to pick him up early because he’s inconsolable after losing Pin The Ring On Saturn.
  • 8 year old Jake is on his best behavior through the morning (partly because Karen gave him a lengthy talking-to on the car ride over, but also because he’s been kind of subdued overall since Roger left a few months prior). He does go ham on lunch, especially when they bring out Amy’s blue cake. 
    • Mrs. Santiago has to cradle him in her lap during the space show because he has too much of a tummy ache. (The Santiago brothers make fun of him for at least a week after that, but Amy defends him with her life and also sends him a Get Well Soon! card.)
  • 9 year old Jake has just discovered Star Wars and spends most of the party trying to find planet models of Hoth and Tatooine. While the other kids just laugh at him, Amy informs him that Star Wars is both fictional and inaccurate then proceeds to tell him about how awesome the real universe actually is. 
    • The two of them unknowingly break off from the group at some point because Amy’s too engrossed in telling him about the International Space Station, and Jake’s just hanging on to every word she says. They’re officially lost for a whole 12 minutes, but Mrs. Santiago eventually finds them in the full-scale space shuttle replica, laughing and pretending to be space pilots slash jedi. 

Keep reading

the exchange • monty de la cruz

a/n: hi guys, thank u soooo much for all of your requests and positive feedback. i’m currently working on writing all of them to the best of my ability so stay tuned!

warnings: swearing, smut, the usual

 you and your best friend, clay jensen, had gotten called down to the front office. you were pretty sure that neither of you were in trouble, but you couldn’t help but to be nervous. why did they need you? both of you?

 you walk into to the office to be greeted by the counselor, the baseball coach, jeff atkins, and montgomery de la cruz. “oh fuck.” clay mumbles. you giggle and bump him with your elbow. “be nice!” you whisper to him before giggling again. jeff is staring into space, while monty takes the time to look you up and down before smirking. you turn your attention away from him and tug at the hem of your skirt that suddenly feels shorter than you need it to be.

 "y/n, clay, have a seat. i assume you know why i’ve called you down here?“ mr. porter says. “uhhh no. we don’t actually. please enlighten us, because we’re not psychic.” clay says as we sit down. you nudge him with your knee and give him a look that screams, “shut up!” he sighs and slumps down in his chair. 

 "well,“ the coach booms, “these two knuckleheads are my star players.” he says motioning towards jeff and monty. “the team is nothing without them, but they can’t seem to get their heads out of their asses and into their books.” you gasp at his use of language and then clear your throat. monty adverts his gaze to focus on you and jeff is still staring at the same spot on the floor. 

 "yes, what coach cole said.“ mr. porter speaks up. "since you two happen to be the smartest in your class, i’ve decided to assign you to be their tutors.” “this is bullshit.” monty says standing up. “mr. de la cruz, sit down and watch your language please.” mr. porter says. “um, but coach cole just said a-” you start and porter gives you a stern look. “never mind.” you squeak at look away from him. monty looks at you with a smile on his face.

“it’s not bs montgomery, you know the rules. no pass, no play. got it?” porter questions. you try to focus on his words, but monty’s eyes burn holes in the side of your face. “yeah, got it.” monty answers without taking his eyes off of you. you don’t want to look at him, knowing that your cheeks are already burning hot under his gaze. “okay well then, that settles it. y/n, you’ll tutor jeff. and clay, you’ll tutor montgomery. no if’s, and’s or but’s about it. thank you all, and have a nice day.” porter smiles.

 you beeline out of the room and into the restroom. you let out a breath that you didn’t know that you were holding, and look at yourself in the mirror. your face was flushed and your eyes were wild. you took a few deep breaths, not knowing why monty had this affect on you, and then silently thanked god that you weren’t his tutor. you inhale sharply, take one last look at yourself, smile, and exit the restroom. clay was waiting on you with a pout. 

“monty? out of everyone in the entire school, i get montgomery de la cruz.” he complains. “i mean it can’t be that bad,” you start. “plus, he’s kinda cute.” you say and smile to yourself. “never say that again. that’s like saying a scorpion is cute, and then it kills you.” clay scolds you. your laugh rings through the hallways. “c'mon clay, you can do this. it’ll be a great experience for the real world.” you tell him, suppressing another laugh. “you’re only saying all of this because you, little ms. lucky, get to tutor jeff atkins. he’s honestly one of the nicest kids in school.” clay says. you sigh as you approach your classroom. “this is my stop jensen. goodbye and good luck. i’ll see you after school.” you say to him as you hug him. “love ya.” clay hugs back and rolls his eyes. “yeah yeah love ya too.” he answers you. you walk into the classroom and close the door behind you.

*time skip to 2 weeks later*

 "yes, i do remember when you poured chocolate milk on bryce walker’s head for me in second grade!“ jeff exclaims and you both crack up. "well someone had to do it, he was bullying you. plus i may or may not have been still mad at him for ripping my coloring sheet like 3 days before that.” you say as you and jeff walk towards your locker. “well i have to go y/n, but we’re still on for that test review after school right?” he asks. “yeah, definitely.” you answered. “ok then, i’ll text you.” jeff says while walking backwards down the hallway and pointing to you. 

you laugh to yourself and put your combination in your locker. clay comes up to you and closes your locker. “well good morning to you too, angel.” you say with a confused laugh. “switch with me.” clay says bluntly. “what?” you question while opening your locker again. “please y/n. i can’t be around him for one more second. it’s been 2 weeks and he hasn’t even bothered to learn my name. he’s called me every name in this world that starts with a ‘c’ but not mine.” clay rushes.

 "okay woah dude, chill, it’s monty we’re talking about. the only name he cares to know is his own.“ you snort. clay grabs your shoulders and shakes you. "switch with me PLEASE. you’re literally the nicest girl in school. monty’s like a tiger, and i’m just the helpless gazelle with the broken ankle. he’s just waiting to pounce on me. you? you’re a like a fuzzy, cute, baby tiger. he wouldn’t lay a hand on you.” you laugh at clay’s comparisons.

 "please y/n. i’ll do anything.“ your answer was already yes, but you stare into space like you’re contemplating. "go on…” you tell him with a smirk. “i’ll give you half off of movie tickets and free snacks at the crestmont for a year.” clay says. you squeal and hug him. “i’ll do it!” you exclaim. “you’re the best y/n, i mean it!” clay tells you. you laugh at him and flip your hair over your shoulder. “well what can i say, i try.” you say laughing even more. you both go into a fit of laughter only to be interrupted by yelling.

 "hey caleb!“ monty yells to clay from down the hallway. he approaches you guys and speaks again. "i got practice today so my place at 5, okay cameron?” monty says. “it’s….it’s clay dude.” clay says to him, but monty is on his phone texting away. “uh yeah whatever, conrad, i’ll see you tonight.” monty says before looking at you. he watches you for a second, winks, and then heads to class.

 "goodbye and good luck.“ clay mocks you with a smile. you roll your eyes, hug him, and then walk towards your class, which monty happened to be in. you muster up every ounce of confidence that you have in you and walked to the back of the classroom, away from your usual spot in the front, to sit right next to montgomery. he stares at you with his eyebrows raised and then grins. 

 "y/n, right?” he asks with his signature smirk. you nod your head and look him in the eyes, taking a moment to admire his freckles. “montgomery, right?” you mock him. he pauses for a second before responding. “to most, yes, but a pretty girl like you can call me anything that you’d like to.” he says to you, still smirking. “okay look dude, clay got….reassigned to jeff, so i’m your tutor now. i’ll be at your house at 5, like you said. okay?” you say while writing. “okay.” monty tells you with a smile while nodding his head. he watches your pen fly across the paper while you copy the notes. “monty?” you ask. “yeah?” he replies. “do your work.” he laughs, and then answers you. “no thanks babe, i can do you though.”

 throughout the rest of the lesson, monty cracks numerous jokes just to hear you laugh. your heart was swelling but you’d never let him know that. at one point he rested his hand on your thigh and began to inch upwards. the bell rang and you both got up to leave without a word. the spot where he came in contact with your skin tingled for the rest of the day. 

 *time skip through the rest of the day* 

 you start watching people’s snapchat stories when you catch a glimpse of the time. 4:45. it was gloomy outside but your energy was high, and you were ready to see monty. you hadn’t stopped thinking about sitting next to him. you grab your stuff and start walking to his house.

 on your way there, the skies decide to open up and pour down on you. you run the rest of the way to monty’s house, banging on the door when you arrive. you hear a voice yelling and then someone rushing down the stairs. “welcome to casa de la cru-” monty starts until he notices that you’re drenched. “y/n get in here! are you crazy? you’re gonna get sick.” he exclaims while grabbing your wrist and pulling you into his house. 

“why did you walk in the rain? you could’ve texted me. i would’ve picked you up.” he says while looking at you. “you see the thing is: 1. i don’t even have your number, and 2. it wasn’t raining when i left my house. i walked because you only lived a street away but now i see that that was a terrible idea.” you explain to him. “take your shoes off and follow me.” he tells you rolling his eyes. you walk up the stairs and into the bathroom with him. he puts a shirt and some shorts on the counter for you. “thanks.” you tell him, hardly above a whisper. 

 you start to peel off your wet shirt when you realize that monty is still at the door, watching you. “um, can i help you?” you turn around and say with a laugh. “i’m just enjoying the show, baby.” he says. your cheeks start to burn again and monty starts walking away. “you know, you look cute when you blush.” he calls out to you with a laugh evident in his voice. you shake your head and roll your eyes at his comment. 

 the shorts that monty gave you kept falling down, so you walked into his room wearing nothing but the shirt that he gave you. given the height difference, it stopped mid thigh on you. he looks up at you with wide eyes before licking his lips and smirking. you hand him your wet clothes and he walks next to you before whispering in your ear. “you know, my clothes look good on you, but i bet they’d look better off.” he casually strolls downstairs to put your clothes in the drier and the blood runs to your cheeks once more. 

you sit on the edge of his bed, taking in your surroundings. his walls are covered in movie posters, band posters, and his baseball pics. you move to sit criss cross on his bed and you open the history book. monty runs back up the stairs and then stands in his door frame admiring you. “what?” you ask him. he responds by walking over to your spot on his bed and then sitting in front of you. you look at each other in the eye and monty tucks a piece of hair behind your ear gently. “monty?” you ask innocently. “hmmm?” he hums in response, focused on your lips. “if you’re gonna kiss me, then do it already.” you say with a cheeky grin. 

his eyes light up and he smashes his lips against yours. your hands rest on his chest, and you move your lips to his neck. he groans and shifts himself to lay you down. “god… you’re so sexy,” he says as you look up at him. he climbs on top of you and starts kissing you roughly. you fumble with the buttons of his shirt and take it off. “someone’s impatient,” he mumbles while smiling against your lips. “shut up de la cruz.” you say to him. “make me.” you kiss monty with even more force than before, and you reach down, gently grazing the waist of his sweats. monty pulls away from you and you whimper.

 "not so fast, princess.“ monty says while tugging on the hem of your (his hehe) shirt. he pulls it over your head and stares at you in awe. "damn i was right, they do look better off.” he tells you. monty begins grinding on you while kissing from your jawline to your neck. “you have no idea how long i’ve been wanting to do this baby.” he says into your neck. monty reaches down to grip your thighs and spreads your legs slightly. he dips into your wetness with his fingers and starts moving at a slow, steady pace. his touch gave you a feeling that you’ve never experienced before, and it drove you crazy. you try to hold back your moans, but a few escape.

 "let me hear you,“ he whispers into your ear. you moan his name and buck your hips against his fingers to create more friction. monty chuckles darkly and starts moving faster. he curls his fingers inside of you and you’re about to lose it. "f- fuck oh my god.” you moan breathlessly. your eyes screwed shut as you were coming up on your high, and monty suddenly pulls his fingers out. you gasp and then turn angry. “what the fuck was that for?” you say and he smirks again. “i couldn’t let you have all the fun now could i?” he says as he pulls down his pants. 

you smile as you stand up in front of him, pushing him back on the bed gently. you straddle him as you kiss all the way down his chest, getting slower and sloppier as you reached the waistband of his boxers. you place a kiss on the waistband, and then move back up his neck. you grind slowly against his erection, and the feeling of the cloth against your naked sex caused you to moan. “shit y/n, stop teasing.” monty says. he grips your hips to stop your movement, so you reach into his boxers and start pumping him. monty throws his head back and grunts in pleasure. your hands glide up and down smoothly while monty groans your name. he grips your wrist and looks at you with dark eyes. 

 "i need to be in you. now.“ he growls. he flips the two of you over and positions himself at your entrance. monty slides into slowly and you hiss. you had been with a couple of guys before, but monty was definitely the biggest. he rolled his hips and started thrusting into hard and slow. with every thrust, he went deeper and deeper. "fuck mont, faster.” you moaned. “you like that huh, baby girl?” he teased you. you tried to arch your back up off of the bed, but he held you down. he was still moving excruciatingly slow and you couldn’t take it anymore. 

you were whimpering and monty spoke up again. “look at me y/n. tell me what you want me to do.” you make eye contact with him while he moved in and out of you slowly. “i want you to fuck me montgomery. fast and hard.” you begged him. your dirty words made him twitch and groan.

 he propped your legs up on his shoulders and started speeding up. “fuck, you feel so amazing babe.” monty tells you. your eyes roll back as you curse his name. “you’re mine y/n. no one else can have you. no one can touch you like this.” he tells you, bringing his hand to rub circles on your clit. “y- yes monty. i’m yours. oh my god.” you say with your eyes closed. “look at me baby. come for me.” he tells you. you look him in the eyes and feel your walls clench around him as your orgasm approaches at his words. after seeing you come undone, he comes too. 

 he rides out his high and pulls out of you. you whimper and he lays next to you, caressing your cheek. “remind me to thank clay for having no patience.” monty says with a smirk. you raise your brows and start stuttering. “remi- you- what?” you question. “i knew his name the whole time. i just thought that if i annoyed him enough, i’d get to work with you, and i was right. he took longer to crack than i expected him to though.” he says still smirking. “montgomery, i hate you.” you tell him with a laugh.

“your mouth says that, but your body said otherwise.”

 a/n: i feel like i always say this, but that was so fun to write. i genuinely enjoy writing and making these scenarios come to life for you guys.

my feelings after watching 13 reasons why

1. Hannah and Jeff didn’t deserve ANY OF THIS TOMFOOLERY! My poor little babies.

2. Bryce can literally choke and fall off a fucking cliff! He is a scumbag and he is the reason all this started.

3. Clay is such a smol lil bean and doesn’t deserve to believe he had anything to do with Hannah’s death. It is really hard to tell people you like them. And Hannah herself said it wasn’t his fault and that she made the mistake of letting him go because she thought she wasn’t good enough for him.

4. Courtney may be a gay woc, but she is such a bitch for no fucking reason. Like really, bitch. I hated the way she kept denying things and the fact that she was actually sticking up for Bryce bitch ass.

5. Justin is cute and all, but is an asshole for letting Jess get raped. If he loved her as much he claims he wouldn’t have never let that happen. And even though Bryce sent the picture, he shouldn’t have take it in the first place. I know that Bryce and his family helped him though tough times because his home life sucks, but if you love someone you would never let anyone or anything hurt them.

6. Ryan is such a douche. Hannah specifically said she didn’t want her poem published and he did it anyway and still doesn’t even look like he is sorry about it.

7. Mr. Porter lied in one of the first few episodes. The principal asked if Hannah came to him and he said no. And I was angry when i realized cause I was rooting for him.

8. I can’t believe people were surprised when Tony told Clay he was gay. At the dance when Tony and Ryan were talking you can tell by their body language that they both liked each other. And in that moment I was like: YES A GAY MOC WITH A KICK ASS RIDE!!

9. Jessica was such a great friend to Hannah and didn’t deserve any of this, but I hated the way she got mad at Hannah for the list and should really have been Alex.

10. Tyler is super creepy and he is just ugh to me.

11. Zach was a really nice guy, and he really liked Hannah but he didn’t have to get so mad when she told him no. I mean Hannah did get upset when he was trying to talk to her but after all the shit she went through with Justin and Marcus she didn’t really believe he actually liked her and thought he just wanted to have sex.

12. Marcus was a dick and the way he treated Hannah thinking she would just give it up to him was disgusting.

13. Sheri was really sweet, but I can never forgive her for what happened to Jeff. Even though she tired to make up for it, she let Jeff die with people thinking it was his fault for drinking and driving.

14. Alex was wrong for putting Hannah on the list, but he only did it to try and fit in. I mean don’t get me wrong what he did was horrible and it made people think she was a slut, but trying to fit in in highschool makes people do dumb things. I really hope he makes it.

gigillian  asked:

for your next story i vote you tell us the one where you tried to fight your reflection while on ambien. it sounds like a hoot.

so ambien can be a really good drug for people with bad insomnia. but when my doctor prescribed it to me, she looked me dead in the eyeballs and said, “take this when you are ready to sleep. keep it on your bedside table. when you are in bed, lights off, ready to go, take one of these pills. don’t take one of these pills at any other time.”

i was like, “yo, doc, recreational drug use is just not really on the menu. literally the most illegal thing i do is not put on a seatbelt in cabs.”

  • YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME, COPPERS!!!!

ambien was a really great temporary solution for me. i’d turn out the light, take the pill, and have crazy weird vivid dreams about dancing across the ocean to iceland and forming a professional wheelbarrow racing team with my RA, zach. finally i could sleep like a regular human person and not a crypt monster that only comes out at night to hiss at little children through their bedroom windows! “MOM DAD THERE’S A CRYPT MONSTER!!!” they would cry, but lo! i would already be gone, with my humpback and bearded chin, howling into the night.

  • haha, you dumb kids.

where it all went wrong was some random weeknight, let’s say thursday because it IS thursday, i turned out the light, took my pill, and rolled over to go to sleep.

“goodnight,” i said to my roommate, olivia.

“goodnight,” olivia said.

i closed my eyes. i could hear the samba music. ICELAND HERE I COME. but just as that sweet sweet rhythm began to take me over, i jerked awake and realized i had COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN TO DO MY SCIENCE LAB.

so my options were as follows:

  1. go to sleep, and hand the lab in late. PROS: sleep. CONS: confront my deep-rooted use of grades as a reflection of self-worth.
  2. get up, do the lab, and then go immediately to sleep. PROS: LEAVE THOSE NEUROSES FOR ANOTHER DAY, SUCKER!! CONS: miss out on my sweet samba nights.

i obviously decided to get up.

  • haha “confront your emotional baggage”??????? what do i look like to you, a CONCIERGE???????

“are you… sure this is a good idea?” olivia asked.

“it’s gonna take me like, twenty minutes tops,” i said, with all the confidence of someone who had never been under the influence of drugs before. “please. i’ll be FINE.”

my desk at the time had a little light on it, and a mirror that i used to do my makeup in the morning. the rest of the room was still pretty dark. i put my head down and did my lab as fast as i could, convinced that there was some sort of secret mile-marker where if i was awake after it my body would liquify like alex mac and i’d have to spend the rest of my life on the RUN from SHADY GOVERNMENTAL ORGANIZATIONS.

  • in retrospect, this may have been the ambien already at work.

so i finished the lab, triumphant. i turned to tell olivia that i had mastered mind over body and could now sleep peacefully, when i caught the eye of my own reflection in the desk mirror.

except it wasn’t my reflection. i felt sure of this. i wasn’t looking at me in a reflective surface. i was looking at a different me in a different dimension. not just a DIFFERENT me but an EVIL me, a me who liked CELERY and LOVED AYN RAND and frankly thought we all needed to calm down about “EQUALITY” because there were BIGGER ISSUES, LIKE WHY DON’T I HAVE AN INDOOR POOL??????? THERE’S YOUR INJUSTICE!!!!!!

this evil me wasn’t content with her own dimension anymore. she wanted mine.

“YOU CAN’T HAVE IT,” i told her, jerking my head left and right to try and catch her in a trap. but she was good. she was very good. she mimicked me exactly.

“i can’t have what?” olivia asked, surprised.

“shhhhhhh, not you, i’m not talking to you,” i hissed. i looked at her—and THERE EVIL ME WAS AGAIN, THIS TIME IN THE WINDOW. i dropped the floor. “AVOID REFLECTIVE SURFACES,” i said. “THAT’S WHERE THEY CAN GET YOU.”

olivia, who by the way was one of those super chill people for whom a raised eyebrow is the mollyhall equivalent of removing all my clothes and throwing myself into a lake, raised an eyebrow. “who can get me?”

"the OTHER DIMENSIONERS,” i told her impatiently.

  • i should add here that this all seemed incredibly obvious to me at the time. like, the fact that olivia was QUESTIONING this seemed so preposterous to me??? OBVIOUSLY everything i was saying and doing made PERFECT SENSE.
  • NEVER TRUST A DOPPELGANGER, OLIVIA!!!!!!!

i popped up quickly, shook my body around like i was trying to see if there was any spare change rattling around in it, and then ducked back down. but EVIL ME was too quick. every motion was mirrored. 

HOW DID SHE DO IT?????

“i have to pee,” i announced, and crawled out of the room on my hands and knees, so as to not have to see any reflective surfaces. when i came back, olivia peered at me over the bottom of her bed.

“maybe you should go to bed now,” she suggested.

“WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU THINK I NEEDED TO GO TO BED?” i asked. “I FEEL GREAT. I’M GONNA FIGHT THIS BITCH AND I’M GONNA WIN!!! NOBODY PUTS MY DIMENSION IN THE CORNER!!!!!”

“okay,” olivia agreed, “but maybe you should go to bed, instead.”

olivia didn’t understand, though. i was finally seeing CLEARLY. i was at the start of a HERO’S JOURNEY. i was going to SAVE THE WORLD!!! it was dangerous, it was hard, and i’d probably have to hook up with a super hot guy at some point only to be BETRAYED to learn that he was WORKING FOR THE ENEMY, and then he’d come to my rescue at the last minute and say MOLLYHALL IT STARTED OUT LIKE THAT BUT THEN I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU and i’d be like “omg idk if i can forgive you” and he’d be like “look into my eyes 4 five minutes” and i’d be like “you’ve made a good point” and then we would ALMOST KISS but be INTERRUPTED by EVIL ME and then i’d have to fight her TO THE DEATH, and although at several dicey moments we’d all think OH GOD EVIL ME IS GOING TO WIN!!! she obviously wouldn’t win because hello have you SEEN A MOVIE BEFORE??? WHAT IS THIS, YOUR FIRST MOVIE??????????

anyway that was the plan, until—

when i woke up in the morning, all the blinds were drawn, my mirror was face down on the desk, and i had inexplicably color-coded the food in olivia’s snack bin.

WASTED POTENTIAL: X-Men: First Class and the Death of Armando Muñoz

Or, How Racism F%#@ed the X-Men Movies

It’s no surprise to anyone who knows me that I am absolutely, ridiculously invested in the X-Men Cinematic Universe.  Or, more specifically, I’m invested in what the XMCU could have been, if it had been approached as a cohesive whole rather than a series of vaguely confused attempts at continuity and Wolverine cameos.

For me, the biggest moment of missed potential comes with the death of Armando “Darwin” Muñoz at the midpoint of X-Men: First Class.  People have talked, of course, about how his death was racist and doesn’t make sense – because it was racist, and fundamentally, it doesn’t make sense.

To be fair, I don’t think the writers were being intentionally racist when they killed Armando off in the same scene where the movie’s only other black character defects to the side of the bad guys.  I don’t think they were being intentionally racist when they had a Nazi kill a black man, who, in the comics, is literally and demonstrably unkillable.

But they did these things, and these things were racist.

And to be honest, that racism kinda f%#@ed the franchise.  It’s not the only thing that did – the decision to put ten year timeskips in between each movie of the second trilogy certainly didn’t help matters – but I think that it’s the single bad decision that, if averted, would have changed everything.

Under the cut, I’ll discuss why Armando was such a significant character, and why his death shaped the direction of the franchise by destroying some pretty epic narrative possibilities.

(Trigger Warnings for: mentions of suicide, depression, trauma, real life racism, human experimentation.  Nothing more explicit than XMCU canon, however.)


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Hamilton Gym AU

A mess of beautiful tiny headcanons that Sid and I bounced around with each other that somehow spiraled into a gym centered universe. Thanks to this post for bringing @thomasjeffer-sin and I together. 

  • Jefferson wears basketball shorts and tank tops with his arm holes cut all the way down the side.
  • Totally buys them that way, even though they’re somehow more expensive than tank tops with more fabric on them because #fashion
  • Plus it shows off his arms while also giving everyone in the gym a peak at his abs
    • Not like he doesn’t take strategic breaks to wipe his sweaty face with said shirt to reveal his abs but he’s not gonna admit to it.
  • He will admit to being addicted to Instagram and snapchat—but only because there’s photographic evidence of copious gym selfies
  • One photo pre-work out and then another photo post-work out because he enjoys seeing his tanks stained with sweat to prove just how hard he pushed himself
    • also another photo to show a smoothie w/ pre-work out in the mix
  • Sometimes he has those track shorts and everyone is just like *eyes emoji* dem thighs tho
  • He just wants everyone to know that he’s got a hot body under all of his fancy colored suits
  • He’s half there for attention and half there because he’s super strict with himself about his body and staying in shape because maybe he’s insecure about himself otherwise
  • Madison acts like his hype man but DANG. He’s always around Madison and ALWAYS comparing himself to Madison. Like Madison is just like naturally built??? To hold so much muscle??? They went to the gym together once and Jefferson was just floundering trying to keep up.
  • Madison probably has his bad days with his health stuff but when he does go to the gym Jefferson is blown away like can you not?? How can you have this much stamina but also need to have low activity days. But even on days he doesn’t work out Madison sometimes tags along to spot him.
  • Lafayette and Jefferson would start going to the gym together out of convenience. Like one day they show up at the same time and they normally don’t talk outside of the gym but they’re both there so they might as well. And then they’re going to the gym together purposefully, spotting each other, giving each other work out tips. And then they’re joking around outside of the gym. And in whatever gym-centric universe this is that’s how they became buds.
  • Can we talk about Lafayette being a good spotter… Of beautiful guys around like gym like wowie Jefferson did you see that guy’s ASS?
    • And Jefferson is like “Oh my God, no” and then quietly follows said person with his eyes in the gym mirrors because #denial
    • The muscular men they watch together. The muscular men they become together.
  • Also you know Laf gives Jefferson shit about the open-side tanks he wears. Teases him relentlessly about them.
  • They come to an Understanding at the gym and they can be gym rat buddies.
  • Hamilton can’t handle them. Like once they get really buddy-buddy, like so friendly it overlaps into office life, he’s just like ??? When? How?
  • Thomas also probably has a literal forehead sweat band with some dumb text on it but then the next day he offers Lafayette one and he accepts it even though he’s made fun of him for it, too
  • And Lafayette probably encourages him with cheat days. Fucking mac and cheese.
  • MAC AND CHEAT DAYS
    • (HERE’S WHERE I DIED Sid killed me with that one RIP)
  • He makes ^ that a slogan on a custom take top (ft. deep arm holes) for Jefferson. It’s bright neon yellow.
  • Lafayette gets his own tank top and it probably says Guns & Ships on it to point out all those arm days (and cheesy Hamilton reference…)
  • Hercules probably has a HUNK-ules shirt 
    • He’s also a beast at the gym no one tries to compete with his deadweights 
    • And also I feel like he’s the Originator of the headbands.
  • John is probably just a cardio and light weights guy? Maybe a swimmer?
    • Swimmer John 100% I can get behind swimmer John very much. Much shoulders.
    • Another thing that works: Boxer!John
    • Boxer and Swimmer John Laurens
  • So Alex starts feeling Left Out by his friends like why the fuck do you all go to the gym?? 
  • Alex doesn’t get why everyone is just gyming it up for some reason. He can’t wrap his head around it. He’s much more content to not get involved in that until he’s texting people for plans to hang out and everyone is at the gym and he’s alone in his room like #why
  • John tries to invite him down to the pool to swim with him “Come on! It’s relaxing! You need to learn to unwind!”
    • But Ham probably doesn’t enjoy swimming if its in bodies of water taller than him. He needs to be able to touch the bottom and doesn’t find doing laps in a giant pool and nearly drowning relaxing. Sweating is not relaxing. Sitting and reading is relaxing. How is picking up heavy things relaxing? How does John even hold his breath for that long? (Heh. Well u see…)
    • John is like “there are lots of positives to going to the gym…” and Alex is like “I get the whole health thing, but I’m still not convinced” and John starts telling him about how attractive everyone is at the gym and Alex just says “Can I borrow a sweatband?”  
  • Meanwhile Burr’d be so chill about the gym as opposed to the other guys
    • He slowly works his way up to hard stuff. Lifts way less than he can actually lift just to make sure he doesn’t push too hard too fast. Eventually works his way up to what the other boys are lifting but has far fewer complaints about soreness. Makes sure to do a bunch of stretching before he does anything. And his cool-down routine is like half of his gym visit. Really into yoga and shit.
  • YOGA BURR!!!! (Alex will call him Yogi Burr the little shit)
    • He wears leggings and soft cotton shirts and he’s beautiful. So centered. So handsome.
    • Burr’s tank top would say…. Reppin’ Sexy
    • Uses that upper body strength to do poses like this
    • Also: Burr being a beginner’s yoga instructor to make extra money
  • All the Schuyler sisters probably do yoga along with Burr—at least Eliza
    • Eliza and Burr yoga friendship!!!
    • They have their little yoga mats and they sit by each other in class and they work on their flexibility together.
    • Peggy could be a swimmer too I don’t see her as much of a yoga person for long because she needs to be moving.
  • And then one day the boys finally drag Alexander to the gym and insist he tries yoga 
  • Hamilton probably can’t even touch his toes and either way spends the entire time watching Burr
    • Because BURR’S ASS IN YOGA PANTS DOING THAT POSE
    • his arms his legs his ass his abs when his shirt rides up…
  • Burr’s face is so calm yet serious, he’s focusing so hard and is in the ZONE it’s like he doesn’t even realize he’s making it impossible for others to focus
  • T A L K LESS M E D I T A T E MORE !!! (aka Burr’s new tank top)
  • Burr probably kicks Ham out because Ham can’t sit still or stay quiet and he will not have his Space ruined
  • also side note: all of the Schuyler sisters’ yoga gear is the color of their respective dresses.
    • They all have WERK shirts
  • After the yoga fiasco, Ham goes into the main gym and he is Intimidated but catches sight of someone lifting their shirt to wipe their face (u know that move) and holy hell those glistening abs and then the guy drops the shirt and it’s Jefferson and Hamilton almost runs out–he CANNOT
  • Imagine: Hamilton agreeing to swim with John to hide an unfortunate boner. (For Burr. For Jefferson. For Both.
    • John totally catches on, too. “Alex, why don’t you try a back stroke? Your face would be out of the water the whole time so it’d be nearly impossible to drown.” “Enough, John.”
  • Bonus:
    • Lafayette probably has one of those at home pull up bars that go on the door
    • Laf leaves it up when he knows Hamilton is coming over just to get at him and Hamilton’s like MAN take a BREAK.
    • He probably lifts Hamilton up just so he can reach it but there’s no way he can actually pull himself up
    • Alex would just hang on it for as long as he could like “I can handle this. I’m getting ready. I’m about to do it.” And Laf is like “I’m not judging you. You can hop down if you want.” And Ham’s arms and hands are burning and he’s like “No I’m gonna do it.” Then John comes up from behind him and pokes his sides and Hamilton is forced to drop because John is a dirty side poker.
I’ve Got You (Derek Hale x Reader)

Pairings: Derek Hale x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Fluff, Smut (Unprotected Sex)

Request: Hi! Could you do a reader x Derek Hale, where the reader is a young werewolf without a pack and they meet Derek and Scott while running from hunters and is also badly injured.  And is slowly accepted into the pack and gains feelings for Derek but little do they know is that Derek as feelings for them to. (Please add some fight/adventure scenes and smut if possible”

Requested By: @supernaturaldragons101

A/N: I’m really sorry I didn’t do much of any fight or adventure scenes, I honestly have NO idea how to write them.  But I did put smut in there for you dear :)

“Shit” you growled out, ducking just in time as an arrow came whizzing past your head.  Your lungs were on fire, your legs ached as you continued to run through the thick forest; hunters hot on your trail.  

Your entire pack had just been killed off by a group of hunters, and now you were the only survivor; the lone wolf.  You never asked to be turned into a wolf; your best friend Alex did it because it was quite literally life or death.  It was a car accident that almost killed you, but Alex was right there with you.  She wasn’t an Alpha, so she called upon the Alpha of her pack, and before long, you were turning on the next full moon.  It had been a mere two months since you turned, and now you were all alone.  

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In Defense of Maggie Sawyer

@danvers-dimples​ said: I need your help. My sister is NOT a Maggie fan. She especially doesn’t like the “you get one” line, she found it too harsh. She finds Maggie herself too unfeeling. I completely disagree to be clear. Anyway could you write some good points for me to show my sister on why she’s wrong and Maggie is in fact a pure being, gifted to us from the Gods. Please.

Hey kids, it’s your friendly neighborhood Maggie Sawyer stan finally here to type up a way too detailed analytical post regarding two of the biggest misplaced criticisms of Maggie. I hope you don’t mind me bouncing off of your ask for this, but it presented me with the opportunity to do one of my absolute favorite things: defend unjustifiably hated female characters that I adore in a manner much too extra for fandom purposes. I’ll be taking a look at the most revealing aspects of Maggie’s character as they’ve been presented thus far, getting a little meta about her role within the show overall, and doing my best to explain away some of the popular misunderstandings of Maggie as a character, with particular emphasis on the differences between “Unfeeling” vs “Emotionally Reserved”, and “Harsh” vs “Honest”. Obvious disclaimer: this is quite long.

“Unfeeling” vs “Emotionally Reserved”:

From what I’ve seen, one of the biggest and most frustrating misinterpretations of Maggie’s character is the twisting of her emotional reservation into coldness. This one surprises me every time I encounter it, if I’m honest, if only because “unfeeling” is one of the absolute last words I’d use to ever describe Maggie for a multitude of reasons. 

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Welcome Home - Part 1

Originally posted by ghostthinxx

Request: (by anon) Hello! I love your writing, you’re one of my favorite writers on Tumblr. :) I was wondering if you could do a Winn Schott imagine, where after the crossover or whatever you go back to Earth 38 with Kara and you end up falling in love with Winn? Like a lot of flirting and cute moments where Winn gets all flustered? Thanks! :D <3

Pairing: Winn Schott x Reader feat. Kara, Alex, J’onn, Oliver, and Barry

Warnings: None

Words: 2807

A/N: So, I loved this prompt so much that I decided to make it a series. And if you’re wondering what her costume looks like, I made that too. Sorry this isn’t as flirty/flustery as I meant it to be. Maybe I’ll do better in part 2.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Dominators were defeated, the presidential honors were given, the celebratory party was winding down, and Earth-1 was saved. The only thing left to do was to say your goodbyes and go your separate ways.

Over the last few days, you had become good friends with Supergirl, or Kara Danvers as it was. At the party, she had mentioned how on her Earth it was just her and her cousin defending the planet and how nice it was to have a team. You couldn’t have agreed more. It would be nice to fight crime with others like Team Arrow or the Legends. It would even be nice to have a support group like Team Flash, even if you were the only one in the field.  But you had no one. No friends, no family, no one to rely on other than yourself.

Knowing this, Kara invited you to come back to her world to fight alongside her. Earth-1 had plenty of protectors and you had no reason to stay, so you quickly jumped at the opportunity.

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Caregiver

Pairing: Jared x wife!Reader

Summary: After your brother gets hurt and has surgery, Jared offers him a place to stay in your guest bedroom, and you become his live-in nurse.

Word Count: ~1,300

Warnings: rude family members, fed up Jared, exhaustion, cursing, very minor talk of medical situations/post-surgery things

A/N: Basically this has been my life for the past few days, since my brother’s accident, so I decided to write it out because it’s the only thing I know to do anymore. Gif submitted to me by @lizmalfoywayland

Beta: None, and it’s completely unedited; all mistakes are mine.


Flopping down into your bed, you closed your eyes briefly and awaited the next call of your name from the guest room. It came sooner than you expected, causing you to lick your lips and inhale through your nose, closing your eyes. 

“Be right there.” You pushed yourself up on your elbows and slung your legs off the side of the bed. You trudged into the guest bedroom and leaned against the doorframe. “What’s up?” 

“I’m hungry.” Your brother shrugged. 

“It’s almost midnight…” You sighed, earning another shrug from him. “What do you want?” 

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anonymous asked:

- [x] Prompt for Maggie feeling guilty about Alex being captured and tortured (cause she was the reason Kara left and Alex followed) and being distant; meaning like she sleeps on the couch so that she doesn't hurt Alex or anything

She should have kept her mouth shut.

She should have kept her mouth shut and let Alex’s nervous laughter, nervous “he doesn’t know what he’s talking about” be the last word on the subject.

She should have swallowed her frustration that her girlfriend’s sister destroyed the effort she’d put in, the energy she’d spent, the tears she’d fought against shedding, for seventeen hours.

Seventeen hours talking them down, seventeen hours playing the therapist no one had ever played for her, seventeen hours forcing herself to empathize – really, really empathize – with men who had their guns trained at the heads of defenseless people.

But they were at dinner, all together.

So it shouldn’t matter.

Her job wasn’t about ego. It shouldn’t be about ego. She should have let it go. She should have kept her damn mouth shut.

But she didn’t.

She didn’t, so now instead of Rick Malverne waiting futilely in that elevator, instead of Rick Malverne having to go home empty-handed – instead of Rick Malverne getting to kidnap and torture her girlfriend, this woman that she… this woman that she can’t live without – instead of all that, instead of making him wait another night, instead of, maybe, giving them all a chance to realize something was off, to realize that they were being stalked…

Now, Alex had been… 

Alex had nearly drowned. 

Alex had sliced her own damn arm open with her own damn credit card, and Alex had…

And it was all her fault. It was all her fault, because she couldn’t keep her damn mouth shut.

She couldn’t keep her mouth shut, and she got into it with Kara, and now?

Now, Alex swears she’s fine, and now, Alex swears she’s almost entirely healed, and now, Alex has told her that she loves her, that she wants to have all those firsts with her, she loves her, she loves her, she loves her…

But she shouldn’t.

She shouldn’t, because if she’d just kept her stupid mouth shut, maybe Alex wouldn’t have had to go through what she went through. 

Because Alex swears she’s fine, that it’s in the past, but J’onn knows better.

He’s keeping her on desk duty, and even though Alex rages and swears that desk duty is the worst possible thing for her recovery, Maggie is secretly grateful.

Secretly grateful, if for no other reason than – ironically – desk duty keeps Alex at the DEO later. More paperwork to sift through, and she’s so antsy that she’s slow at it.

Because there’s so much else she wants to be doing.

Like sleeping with Maggie. Both literally sleeping – cuddling and the like – and metaphorically sleeping – fucking and the like.

Alex wants all these things, and she’s making it very clear, but Maggie?

All she can see when she looks at the woman she loves more than she’s every loved anything or anyone is her body, floating, bubbles slipping out of her lips. 

All she can see when she looks at Alex is her own screaming guilt.

So she’s grateful that Alex is on desk duty. It’ll force her to let her body heal, and it brings her home later.

It brings her home later, and Maggie can pretend to be asleep on the couch.

Pretend, of course, because there’s no way in hell she will ever sleep again without knowing exactly where Alex is.

Because dammit, that was her fault, too. 

How could she have gone to the gym and blown off steam before downing a few shots of scotch and just falling asleep? Without hearing from Alex? Because sure, she was with Kara, but Alex usually checked in. How could she have…

Another thing that was her fault.

Another way that what Rick Malverne did was her fault.

And, maybe, too, if he hadn’t seen Alex with Maggie so much… maybe if he hadn’t seen the way Maggie looks at her, the way Maggie touches her hand when they’re walking down the street… maybe he wouldn’t have had quite so much rage about the whole situation.

Maybe he wouldn’t have tortured Alex quite so much.

So she pretends she’s asleep until she hears Alex come home. Pretends she’s asleep and fights not to sob when she hears Alex kick off her shoes and sigh at the sight of her girlfriend, and pull a blanket over her and adjust her head on the pillow.

She pretends so that she won’t have to ask how her day was. So she won’t have to look across the room, across the table, across the pillow, at this woman – this perfect damn woman – and see her dead, suffering, dying, a thousand ways over.

All her fault.

She pretends and she draws back and she doesn’t want to be distant – god, all she wants to do is feel Alex’s blood rushing through her veins, hear Alex’s heart beat steady and solid under her ear, all she wants to do is crush Alex’s lips with her own and… and… – but she has to be distant. She has to be.

Because she hurt Alex once.

God, god, god, she can’t hurt her again.

And the closer she is, the more she’ll hurt her.

As always.

It’s not until Kara shows up at the precinct, all baby blue collared shirt and beige pants, the next week at lunch time that Maggie realizes that maybe, by pulling away, she’s hurting Alex all the more.

“Detective,” Kara greets, the truce between them real, but the truce between them riddled with fragility and pain.

“Hey Kara,” she looks up from her desk – she’s got her own endless stack of paperwork to combat – and she grins lopsidedly. Cautiously. “Need a source on something?”

She gets up and she gestures Kara into the hallway and follows with increasingly sweaty palms, an increasingly racing heart.

“No, no, I’m not here about a story, I just…” Kara turns to face Maggie, and her jawline alone could kill. She crosses her arms over her chest, and Maggie fights not to do the same.

“You’ve been trying to be really strong for my sister. She tells me you’ve been packing her lunch every day, and I know you’ve been changing the dressings on her shoulder.”

“What are girlfriends for?” Maggie shrugs, eyes flitting across the hallway, still unable to shake the feeling that she’s being watched.

“Well, yes, but as far as I know, they’re also for sleeping together.”

“I – Kara, what – I – “

Kara adjusts her glasses and holds up a hand to stem Maggie’s stammering.

“Alex says you’ve been asleep on the couch before she gets home almost every night. That you’ve been taking care of her, but you’ve stopped really… building anything with her. Like a relationship. Like that whole firsts thing she keeps gushing about.”

Maggie blinks and Kara takes a deep breath.

“Is this because she told you she loves you? Are you pulling away because, what, you said it back but you don’t really mean it? Did you leap before you looked, Maggie, and now you don’t know how to tell her?”

Maggie flinches like she was punched by Supergirl, and Kara blinks at how rattled her stinging words made Maggie, by the tears rushing to her eyes.

Maggie’s nostrils flare slightly and she grabs Kara’s upper arm and pulls her into an interrogation room, shutting the door behind them.

“After all we went through together, Kara, I… I busted that bastard’s dad out of prison so we could keep her safe, I… I love her, Kara. I love your sister more than I love… myself, I…”

“Then why are you – “

“Because I can’t look at her, Kara! I can’t – “ Maggie’s voice squeaks and Kara lowers her arms in sudden compassion. Maggie puts her left hand under her lip as she starts to pace.

“It’s my fault, Kara, don’t you get it? My fault Malverne took her – the only reason she went into that damn elevator alone was because I yelled at you, because she was going to make things right with you, about me! And he saw us together, over and over and over, and you know that fed his fire, and she almost died, Kara. The only woman I’ve ever really been in love with almost died, because of me, because of my stupid – “

“Whoa, whoa, Maggie, hey. No. You know Alex doesn’t feel that way, right?”

“Of course she doesn’t feel that way, Kara, she’s too good! She’s too good for me, don’t you get it? Wait no, of course you get it, of course you do, because that’s what you’ve always thought, isn’t it? That your sister deserves someone better than some lowly, damaged cop?”

It’s Kara’s turn to look like Maggie hit her, and her own tears join Maggie’s in her eyes. When she speaks, her voice is soft, her voice is sad. Her voice is regretful.

“Maggie, I… I am so sorry that the way I’ve treated you made you think those… those terrible things. About yourself. I’m protective of Alex, I’m always going to be protective of her, but I… Maggie, if what happened to her is anyone’s fault, it’s mine. If I’d listened to you in the first place, we would have found her before that damn water even started to – “

“No, Kara, don’t – “

“See, but that’s what I mean. I blame myself, you blame yourself. Hell, Alex probably blames herself.”

Maggie scoffs. “Alex always blames herself.”

Kara smiles, and reaches out a hand to Maggie. She stares at it for a long moment before taking it.

“Exactly. The Danvers girls and the women we love… that’s what we do, isn’t it? Blame ourselves? But Maggie, what happened to Alex was not your fault. It wasn’t. I promise. And it… it’s okay. It’s okay to cry to her, to… to break down. It’s okay to need her. Because she was in that tank, sure, but Maggie, it was hard as hell being outside of it, too. And you would tell me the same thing. So maybe… I don’t know, I don’t really know a lot about this relationship stuff… but I know my sister. And I think I know you, at least a little. Enough. So maybe try… talking to her, instead of shutting her out. She needs you, Maggie. Especially right now. And I think you need her, too.”

There’s a long, long, long pause where brown eyes meet blue and their pulses – both thrumming for Alex Danvers – unite.

“Did you just say the women you and your sister love?”

“Oh god, I – “

“Tell me everything, Kid Danvers. On the way to bring Alex some lunch. Yeah?”

Kara beams as she pulls Maggie into a long, relief-filled hug. 

“Yeah.”