i literally cried i laughed so hard

bring me home in a blinding dream

title from ‘castle of glass’ by linkin park. another of those fake dating aus because apparently they’re the source of my life.

She was going to kill Mary Margaret.

It’s one thing being set up on a blind date. Emma had suffered through enough of those; her sister-in-law kindly believes that there’s a soulmate out there for everyone, and the way to find them is through chance encounters. Emma gets plenty of chance encounters. Nothing like being a bail bondswoman to introduce you to a lot of men.

(She had pointed that out to Mary Margaret the day before. Her sister-in-law had frowned, raised an eyebrow, and said, “Yes, you definitely want to spend the rest of your life with a criminal who you caught while wearing four-inch stilettos. No, you’re going out to dinner with a friend of a friend of a friend that I heard was recently single. Tomorrow night. At seven. Be prepared.” She had then kissed Emma on the cheek, pushed her toward the couch, and had left Emma’s apartment without so much as a chipper “bye!”)

It’s quite another thing being stood up on a blind date.

Keep reading

INFP gothic
  • Oh, were you talking to me? Sorry I wasn’t listening
  • *hungover* Please don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me, don’t look at me. Just leave me alone to die.
  • *in a bad mood* Life is just as meaningless as death tbh I don’t give a shit anyway.
  • *in a good mood* I love literally every single person ever. Everyone deserves to be happy! But mostly cats
  • Okay here’s a thought/Imagine that/What if
  • Oh my god this is the ugliest little creature I’ve ever seen. Look at it. It’s so miserable. I love it with all my heart.
  • *actually cries when laughing too hard*
  • What was that? Yeah I stopped listening again sry
  • I’m so sleepy and tired, I’ll go to bed at like 9 p.m. *is 3 a.m.* Fml
  • Alternatively - *sleeps some full 10 hours* *wakes up even more dead inside*
  • I don’t think this is appropriate. Please don’t do it, don’t- Ah I guess I’ll just pretend I don’t know you
  • I actually don’t care about my looks at all~ *spends at least an hour picking outfits/putting make-up every day*
  • I’m just gonna ignore the person I like until they notice I like them. Works every time.
  • *secretly into bdsm or at least very kinky* I’m 100% pure and I’m shaming all of you sinners
  • Listen - I don’t want to offend you, I’m SORRY in advance, okay here goes. Again I hope you don’t take this personally I’m rly rly regretful that it has come to this situation. Okay yeah I’ll spit it out - I don’t think purple is your color.
  • *Has an existential mid-life crisis at 21* Everything is sunshine and rainbows!11!!!
Klance High School AU

So for a while now I have been wanting to post some headcanons about Klance in High School. I also got inspired by some of my chats with @queencrazyships

-Lance is the star Baseball player at Altean High. Always the class clown who seems to be getting by with his grades (no one knows how, not even Hunk) and always tries to flirt with any girl coming his way.

-In comes the new kid Keith Kogane. Pretty much from day one doesn’t really talk to anyone and is just overall a bit of an outcast. Really good with his grades so the teachers don’t complain about it.

-Though one time, some jocks tried to beat up Keith. Needless to say they each had gotten black eyes, a broken nose and quiet a number of bruises. This also caused Keith to be feared by others as well.

-He does surprisingly make friends with Shiro Tadashi, who is also on the baseball team. Most would have said that those tow would not have been friends. 

-Keith and Lance first start their rivalry of sorts in PE where Lance tried to agitate Keith. He did. And got a black eye from it. They would always throw insults at one another and it would be a pretty interesting match between those two.

-But then Coran, the History teacher at school, calls in Lance because his grades in history are failing and that if he wants to stay on the Baseball team he needs to get better at history. He then calls in Keith. Keith will now have to tutor Lance.

-At first Keith is very much against it, but Coran tells him that if he does it he will be given extra credit that will be on his grade. Keith accepts.

-Keith and Lance then come to an agreement to be civil during their tutoring sessions.

-One could say that their first tutoring session went as well as the Titanic, but at the end of it they somehow find out that they both like Star Wars.

-And from there, crushes ensue.

-Keith ends up being the first one to figure it out and goes to Shiro on what to do. 

-’I mean hell Shiro, how the hell am I suppose to tell the guy who sees me as their stereotypical anime rival that I have a crush on him and that I would want to kiss him and laugh at his stupid puns!’

-Needless to say, Keith has it pretty hard for McClain

-And with Lance, it does take a while.

-Pretty much Pidge had to literally yell at him that he has a crush on Keith.

-Until this point, Lance had never considered himself as Bisexual or hell, even be interested in guys. He cries for a bit for not realizing it before since he is suppose to be ‘the’ cassanova at school (or as Pidge would call him, the failing cassanova).

-So after a lot of thinking, Lance finally decides to take the bull by the horns!

-He however chooses the wrong day to do so however.

-Keith was having a not so great day with his feeling on edge due to feeling overstimulated (yes here Keith is autistic incase you are wondering) and just wanting to go home because everything was just too loud.

-Shiro does know that when Keith is like this he doesn’t talk as much, so he takes over the talking for the day.

-During free period, Lance decides to take action. 

-He goes up to Keith and asks if they could talk in private.

-Once at the back of the school, Keith tries to act agitated to not make it clear to Lance that he isn’t feeling too well and that he is about to have a meltdown (Keith still hadn’t felt fully trustworthy towards Lance at this point and didn’t want to scare Lance off either)

-Lance almost takes it the wrong way and almost calls it off, but decides ‘screw it’.

-He pretty much tells Keith that he has had feeling for Keith for quiet some time now. How he loves how Keith is rather blunt, his no taking bullshit attitude, his smile, his figure, pretty much anything (yes Lance is that cheesy)

-Keith first thinks that Lance somehow knew of his crush and was trying to make fun of him, but was also hoping that Lance means it.

-After a minute of silence, Keith tried to tell Lance how he feels the same way and that he also wanted to go out with him.

-But then the school bell rings.

-Keith pretty much curls up into a ball almost and covers his ears and almost rocks back and forth, but then he remembers that Lance is right next to him and stops himself.

-Lance, being pretty good at reading people (most of the time), notices how Keith doesn’t look good and asks Keith if he wants to sit down on the stairs of the back of the school.

-Keith can’t seem to talk or say anything and just sits on the stairs.

-Lance sits next to him, but far enough away for Keith to have some personal space since he does clearly need it. He then asks Keith if he needed anything, but doesn’t get an answer.

_Lance almost panics, but then he sees the little tangle sticking out from Keith’s hoodie pocket.

-Everything just clicks from there. His aunt worked as a psychologist for children and young adults and she would often explain to Lance about how some people are just different and there is nothing wrong about that. 

-Lance then tells Keith quietly that he doesn’t care if Keith wants to stim or rock back and forth.

-Keith first doesn’t reply, but does stim with his tangle quiet a bit and then calms down after a bit.

-He does ask if Lance still wants to go out with him. To which Lance say that he would love to and offers to take him home.

-Keith does want to have a little date of sorts at Lance’s house to finally beat him at Mario Cart (’You can never beat me Kogane, for I am the champion at Rainbow Bridge!’)

-As they are walking home, Keith thinks that things will be alright.

Yeah sorry if things had gotten a bit cheesy, but sometimes you need some cheese and idk just wanted to share this.

nani-le-fox  asked:

Me and my sister have made a game out of the I'm Tyler thing. Basically, you can say IIIIIIIM TYLER for as long as you want but as soon as you stutter, you lose. List of shit Tyler does based on this game: benchpresses Mark and Ethan, saves lives with his thighs, fists goats, murders 17 people, cries because he murdered 17 people, fought Darkiplier in the Arby's parking lot (and so much more lmao). Sorry for length, just thought you'd enjoy lol

dude the iiiii’m tyler joke has literally become one of my favorite sayings/jokes in the mark community like i love it so much

i’m also laughing really hard at the fighting dark in an arby’s parking lot one, i have no idea why 😂


I’ve been thinking about this post for awhile. @elkay723 knows I’m not often one for sappy sentimentality. But here goes…

This person accidentally stumbled in to my life through serendipitous happenstance. She was here for work. Conveniently staying literally at the end of the road leading to my neighborhood. So we had a run date and thai. And many more of both to follow.

We’ve been to Vegas twice. London. Paris. LA. NYC. Chicago. Florida (twice). We’ve road tripped to San Antonio. Also twice. We drank beer and watched an awkward proposal on the river walk. We cried over margaritas. Ate ice cream on my floor. Laughed so hard we cried more. We’ve ran so many miles together. A marathon. A bunch of halves–dressed as super heroes once. We danced in the desert (she danced. I moved awkwardly.)

I don’t know how to sum up the last year and a half except to say we’ve done a lot. We turned 30 together. And then 31–celebrating with a grand transatlantic adventure. Fuck. It’s been good. It’s been so fun.

You know that person you can be your authentic self with? Without fear that they’ll judge you but with the knowledge they’ll tell you what’s up…yeah, she’s that person for me.

I would say I’ll miss you (I will) but I’m sure we’ll be visiting each other plenty. (Note: I’m NOT going to Michigan in the winter. Texas has softened me and I’m not prepared for the cold. So we’ll have to meet below the mason dixon line from mid-November through March.)

So anyway, I’ve never been good at good-byes or endings. Yeah. See you soon. Tacos will miss you

fanfic boost

i feel like now that the story is finished i can maybe gather my thoughts about it and give this boost.

so like, back when i had just started this blog, i was looking for solangelo blogs to follow, and i stumbled upon this story that was maybe three or four chapters in. a college au. i read the chapters and forgot about it for a week, then cursed myself for not like, following the author at least.

(we all know that horrible moment in life when a good fic slips through our fingers, we forget the name and author and can’t find the work anywhere anymore. i was positively miserable.)

now, some of you know how i feel about au stories. as in how much i love and cherish them. so you can probably imagine my joy when, after a few more chapters, this wonderful story somehow found its way back to my dash.

yes. we’re talking about Warm Me Up by @i-write-shakespeare-not-disney.

as a fanfiction writer myself i know how hard it is to keep up with one story for too long and still keep it all together. there’s a reason why most of my stories are one-shots. this thing has 39 chapters. that’s 164,411 words. that’s a fucking book (that i will definitely purchase if it’s ever in sale, mind you).

i know i haven’t left a single comment on this, but i have (hopefully) reblogged all my favorite chapters. i think i was waiting for this moment this whole time.

i’ve laughed while reading this fic. i’ve cried. i’ve kicked a chair so hard that i literally had to see a doctor about that. (not my highest moment.) this story is such a beautifully written emotional roller coaster ride that i am ready to pay actual money to have it on my bookshelf. 

the characters are well written, and the plot is a page turner. but what i really applaud @i-write-shakespeare-not-disney on is the ability to really have a start, a story, and a logical ending, all in the story. that’s not an easy task. you, my friend, have done a huge job on this fic, and i will forever wonder how you did it.

tl;dr: go read Warm Me Up. you’ll thank me later.

anonymous asked:

did you notice when Andrew was standing over Christian during the performance, Christian mouths "you have a boner" and Andrew covers himself with his racket. i was laughing so hard I cried


okay but fake ah crew boys at the beach:

ray flat out doesn’t want to go, and instead of understanding that and letting him stay home, michael and gavin wrestle him into the car and hold him down in the back seat while he repeatedly hollers, “I AM BEING KIDNAPPED” out the open window (and, jesus, los santos pedestrians really could not give less of a fuck, that’s insulting)

the second they get there michael and gavin immediately race for the water, and geoff has to snag michael by the arm and drag him protesting back to the towels, “you’re putting on sunscreen, you are like two shades away from skim milk, it’ll take four goddamn minutes”

and geoff spends like the whole time sitting on a towel with a book until jack comes over saying, “hey, come get in the water for a while, it’s nice,” and geoff shuts him down like, “nope, not happening,” so jack sighs and ducks down, lifts geoff off the ground, and tosses him over his shoulder, at which point geoff is laughing at first like, “c'mon, no, cut it out” but quickly progresses to a panicked, “no, no, i don’t want to go in the water, i don’t, i swear to god, jack, jack– [high-pitched screaming]”

ray staunchly refuses to emerge from under the umbrella and doesn’t quite sulk for the first hour (because, wow, i was literally fifty points away from the last achievement in halo reach, thanks a lot, assholes), but then ryan shows up in swim trunks and his fucking skull mask and ray laughs so hard he cries.

dna-xenomorph  asked:

//Can I just say you literally brighten my day with all the tags you add to Alien related posts? I laughed so hard I cried when I saw your tags on the magpie!David post. I love reading your little additions

I’m always surprised that people seem to read my ramblings but it makes me happy to brighten anyone’s day. Thank you so much. *-*

theradkid  asked:

Hey, i want to start it by saying that I LOVE all your post! You're literally so good💖 anyway I was just wondering if you could do an imagine where the reader is pregnant with Sherlock's child and she's super hormonal and she sees a cute dog and begins to cry and he comfort her while laughing which ends up that she cries even more. Sry if it's hard to understand💖 Thanks

Nooo omg I immediately knew what you meant… at least I hope I did! Thank you so much for your absolutely lovely message and hopefully you enjoy this one! <3 (I was really tired while writing this so I hope it still makes sense haha)

You blinked in confusion and sat up in your warm, comfy bed.

“Sherlock, what the hell are you doing?”

You groaned and tried to get used to the sunshine filling your bedroom.

Finally having gained your vision fully back, you could see your partner in crime and boyfriend of three years running around the room, picking clothes from your wardrobe and throwing them onto the chair next to the bed.

“We are going for a walk. You haven’t left the flat in weeks- and no, visiting Mrs Hudson downstairs doesn’t count as going outside, don’t even start protesting.”

“But Sherlock, my feet! They’re so fucking big that none of my shoes want to fit me anymore! And don’t even get me started on my clothes, they’re like twenty sizes too small-”

“(Y/N). You need fresh air, and it’s me saying that. Mary borrowed you some of her clothes, and you’ll definitely still fit into these brown elefant shoes.”

“You mean ugg boots?”

You asked with a giggle while heaving you and your swollen belly out of the bed to change into the clothes your overprotective detective boyfriend had brought you.

“Exactly. I never know with these which shoe belongs to which foot- oh!”

He widened his eyes.

“The eggs!”

He stormed out of the bedroom and left the door open while doing so.

You chuckled to yourself and changed into the fresh clothes, what actually felt pretty good.

You were eight months pregnant, and moving got harder with every day passing by.

“Ah, you’re dressed. You look good.”

Sherlock pressed a kiss to your cheek and went to get his coat.

“I thought you made breakfast?”

He peaked his head around the corner, his breathtaking features smiling at you apologetically. 

“I did try. It burned. Hudders almost called the firepolice. Fire department, that’s the word.”

Every time you thought your soon coming parenthood had make you all nervous, you just looked at Sherlock and immediately were convinced that it had hit him far worse.

“So, where are we going?”

Your boyfriend took your hand and started going down the street.

“The park. That’s where families go, don’t they?”

You grinned.

“Yeah, they do. Just that normally, the children do get a lot more out of a visit at the park when they’re already born.”

“There’s always something, isn’t it?”

The both of you laughed, and like this the way to the closest park actually went by pretty fast.

“You stay here, I’m gonna get you two something to eat. And I already know what you want, no need to give me orders. Just relax.”

You closed your eyes and leaned back in the park bench, letting spring’s first sun rays warm you up in the most pleasant way imaginable.

But all of a sudden, a weird sniffing sound appeared next to you.

You opened your eyes and looked down on the floor, only to look at the most beautiful eyes you’d ever seen.

Sorry Sherlock, but no one would be able to compete with the in the sunshine almost golden seeming eyes of the puppy sitting in front of you.

“Hi there!”

You squeaked and carefully bowed down to pet his ridiculously soft ears.

The doggo closed his eyes and placed his head in your lap.

“So, I got you two hot dogs because you’re always hungrier in the mornings and-”

You heard Sherlock’s voice behind you and turned your head to look at him.

“Look at this dog!”

You whispered while you sensed tears starting to fill your eyes.

This creature was just far too soft and beautiful to exist.

“He’s so beautiful.”

You couldn’t help it.

You helplessly started sobbing and shook yor head.

“So beautiful.”

Sherlock carefully placed your ‘breakfast’ on the bench next to you and sat down next to you, draping one arm over your shoulder and pulling you closer to him.

You just continued crying, overwhelmed by- well everything.

Suddenly, you noticed how your boyfriend’s chest started vibrating.

Was he crying?

Oh no.

“Sherlock you ass-hole, stop laughing!”

You whined, causing even more  tears to run down your cheeks.

Still, you just couldn’t help but join him in his laughter.

Your behaviour was ridiculous, you knew that yourself, but you were carrying a goddamn small human inside of you, for god’s sake.

By the time the owner of the dog arrived with a stressed yet relieved expression, you had calmed down again so you were able to talk to the middle aged man about how beautiful his puppy was.

Sherlock just sat next to you and tried to hide his amusement.

After you’d said goodbye to the dog and eaten your breakfast, it was just the two of you sitting next to each other on the park bench and enjoying the calm.



“As soon this baby is born we get a dog.”

He smiled.


Originally posted by dangbenedict


Originally posted by heartsnmagic

kidvoodoo  asked:

Ok literally cried going thru the tags on your Kenny Omega posts, like I can't even, you are fucking hilarious. Your descriptions of maiming yourself (#moonsault into a lit fireplace) are incredible. You've made me laugh so hard I'm fucking dying. I love Kenny as well, but damn if you aren't devoted af. Thank you. Bless your blog.

Oh my gosh, this is so nice??? I’m glad that my eternal suffering at the hands of Kenneth Omega brings you joy!! Thank you so much friend!!

i have the video saved on my ps4 of that one qp match on hollywood where a duo of zarya and dva punched and spammed i need healing at me and my friend nes (mercy and zen respectively) even tho we’ve been healing the entire time and were literally carrying the team with our rezzes and discord orbs so i just teabagged in front of them while pointedly only boosting/healing my friend and RIGHT at that exact moment the enemy tracer came out of nowhere and stuck the zarya with her pulse bomb, recalled away, and killed her instantly so we teabagged her in front of her friend while laughing so hard we almost cried

devilshornrandom  asked:

From the ask thingie: 95 and 98, plus: do you want to be my friend?

95: Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

Yes. On several occasions, and it’s always been about something literally no one else would understand. I laugh at my own jokes too. Not because I’m funny, because I have a really bad sense of humour.

98: Have you ever forgotten someones name?

Yes. Including my own. Seriously. I had to ask someone what my name was. They thought I was joking. I wasn’t

Do you want to be my friend?

Sure! Just be aware I am incredibly uncool and have a tendency to forget to reply to people.

This is my very first Sonic OC, Nina the Cybora Wolf. (Yes I spelled Cyborg wrong)

So while looking through this old reference with my girlfriend, We came across “She has verry powerful powers.” We laughed for five minutes straight. I literately cried. So I made this and I am still laughing…

So I drew Nina again… Eight years later. 

I hope I can bring some laughs.

This is great I laughed so hard omg -Eno

anonymous asked:

do you read the manga for chihayafuru? if so do you know if it's goi g in a chihaya X taichi route or Arata X chihaya route?

What a wonderful random question! Yes, I do follow the Chihayafuru manga though I haven’t been involved in the fandom for years! Nonetheless, I could honestly write an essay about my shipping views in Chihayafuru but I wouldn’t want to bore you with–

You know what? Screw it, I’ll write that essay. ^-^

The first Chihayafuru-related fact you should know about me would be that when I first read Chihayafuru I was young, and I was crazy about Taichi/Chihaya. I believed that Taichi and Chihaya would somehow end up together, one way or another, no matter how improbable it seemed at that time.

I still believe that Taichi and Chihaya are endgame, but the basis for my argument is much more grounded and evidence-filled than it would have been, say, three years ago. Back then, I just had a gut feeling that they would be together, but now I can allude to several scenes in the manga to back me up.

It’s important that I should mention that this is definitely NOT an Arata-hate post, but if you’re an Arata/Chihaya shipper and the idea of Taichi and Chihaya being together upsets you, I advise you not to read my post any further than this. I may be right, but I also may be wrong, and in the end, only Sensei can decide how this series will progress. ^-^

Without further ado, here’s why I think Taichihaya is endgame.

Keep reading