i liked this so much so here is the bigger version of it

46 Of The Most Beautiful Sentences In YA Literature

1. “You could rattle the stars. You could do anything, if you only dared. And deep down, you know it too, and that’s what scares you the most.”
—Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass

2. “Because sometimes chance and circumstance can seem like the most appalling injustice, but we just have to adapt. That’s all we can do.”
—Gavin Extence, The Universe Versus Alex Woods

3. “I can’t seem to be a pessimist long enough to overlook the possibility of things being overwhelmingly good.”
—John Corey Whaley, Where Things Come Back

4. “Books are my friends, my companions. They make me laugh and cry and find meaning in life.”
―Christopher Paolini, Eragon

5. “Because Margo knows the secret of leaving, the secret I have only just now learned; leaving feels good and pure only when you leave something important, something that mattered to you. Pulling life out by the roots. But you can’t do that until your life has grown roots.”
—John Green, Paper Towns

6. “Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.”
―J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

7. “I’m done with those; regrets are an excuse for people who have failed.”
—Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story

8. “Becoming fearless isn’t the point. That’s impossible. It’s learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.”
—Veronica Roth, Divergent

9. “The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.”
—Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

10. “Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”
—Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor & Park

11. “Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.”
—Natalie Babbit, Tuck Everlasting

12. “Just because we’ve been … dealt a certain hand … it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to rise above — to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted.”
—Stephenie Meyer, Twilight

13. “Some walks you have to take alone.”
—Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

14. “That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.”
—John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

15. “We believe in the wrong things. That’s what frustrates me the most. Not the lack of belief, but the belief in the wrong things. You want meaning? Well, the meanings are out there. We’re just so damn good at reading them wrong.”
—Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares

16. “Why would you be given wings if you weren’t meant to fly?”
—Leslye Walton, The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender

17. “Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.”
—Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

18. “It’s just that…I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It’s the universe’s way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It’s how life is.”
—Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

19. “The universe is bigger than anything that can fit into your mind.”
—Ava Dellaira, Love Letters to the Dead

20. “I try to think about how it all works. At school dances, I sit in the background, and I tap my toe, and I wonder how many couples will dance to ‘their song.’ In the hallways, I see the girls wearing the guys’ jackets, and I think about the idea of property. And I wonder if anyone is really happy. I hope they are. I really hope they are.”
—Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

21. “Things were rough all over but it was better that way. That way, you could tell the other guy was human too.”
—S.E. Hinton, The Outsiders

22. “What if evil doesn’t really exist? What if evil is something dreamed up by man, and there is nothing to struggle against except our own limitations? The constant battle between our will, our desires, and our choices?”
—Libba Bray, Rebel Angels

23. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

24. “It’s like the people who believe they’ll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, but who learn it doesn’t work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. If you see what I mean.”
—Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

25. “I can tell you that the end of a life is the sum of the love that was lived in it, that whatever you think you have sworn, being here at the end of Jem’s life is not what is important. It was being here for every other moment.”
—Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Princess

26. “Life, with its rules, its obligations, and its freedoms, is like a sonnet: You’re given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself.”
—Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle In Time

27. “Maybe who we are isn’t so much about what we do, but rather what we’re capable of when we least expect it”
—Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

28. “People never really died. They only went on to a better place, to wait a while for their loved ones to join them. And then once more they went back to the world, in the same way they had arrived the first time around.”
―V.C. Andrews, Flowers in the Attic

29. “Goodbye, I say, goodbye, as I disappear little by little into the middle of the middle of my own spectacular now.”
—Tim Tharp, The Spectacular Now

30. “But if I’m it, the last of my kind, the last page of human history, like hell I’m going to let the story end this way…Because if I am the last one, then I am humanity. And if this is humanity’s last war, then I am the battlefield.”
—Rick Yancey, The 5th Wave

31. “The words were on their way, and when they arrived, she would hold them in her hands like clouds, and she would ring them out like the rain.”
—Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

32. “Child, no one is ever ready for anything. I would never doom you to that. What sort of adventureless life would that be?”
—Alethea Kontis, Enchanted

33. “And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”
—John Steinbeck, East of Eden

34. “Maybe some people are just meant to be in the same story.”
―Jandy Nelson, I’ll Give You the Sun

35. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: We all want everything to be okay. We don’t even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough.”
—David Levithan, Every Day

36. “Doubt everything at least once. What you decide to keep, you’ll be able to be confident of. And what you decide to ditch, you will replace with what your instincts tell you is true.”
―Amy Plum, After the End

37. “Just as a river by night shines with the reflected light of the moon, so too do you shine with the light of your family, your people, and your God. So you are never far from home, never alone, wherever you go.”
—Karen Cushman, Catherine Called Birdy

38. “You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”
—John Green, Looking for Alaska

39. “There’s no shame in fear, my father told me, what matters is how we face it.”
—George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

40. “I know that the whole point—the only point—is to find the things that matter, and hold on to them, and fight for them, and refuse to let them go.”
—Lauren Oliver, Delirium

41. “We feel cold, but we don’t mind it, because we will not come to harm. And if we wrapped up against the cold, we wouldn’t feel other things, like the bright tingle of the stars, or the music of the aurora, or best of all the silky feeling of moonlight on our skin. It’s worth being cold for that.”
—Philip Pullman, The Golden Compass

42. “It’s a lot easier to be lost than found. It’s the reason we’re always searching and rarely discovered—so many locks not enough keys.”
―Sarah Dessen, Lock and Key

43. “On that cold night in January it all slipped into place for me and she became my everything and my everyone. My music, my sun, my words, my logic, my confusion, my flaw.”
—Julie Murphy, Side Effects May Vary

44. “Hope? Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.”
—Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke and Bone

45. “[She] had always suffered from a vague restlessness, a longing for adventure that she told herself severely was the result of reading too many novels when she was a small child.”
—Robin McKinley, The Blue Sword

46. “Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels, but old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young.”
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 

Hey there everyone! WHOO! Finally got a reprieve, as I’m done with my drawings for my final project, now I have to continue typing the written parts.

Done largely in part because I love the lore, practice drawing human characters, and to pass the time whenever I need a breather from from college.

While researching for the lore of Dark Souls for my In-progress AU Comic, I noticed how LARGE the mythology of Dark Souls and the deities that reside, along with the fan speculation of which god corresponds with whom and etc. In spite of all this, from what I can tell, outside of Gwyn’s family, there has never been a, for lack of a better term, “compendium piece” of the gods and goddesses of dark souls, so I made my own :D

Because some gods are not represented in imagery, I decided to design how they might look if they ever showed up amongst mortals. I owe a lot to Tumblr, Reddit and the DS fandom as a whole, the amount of theory and lore discussions are always gold, and of course, the lore-lords like @vaatividya and @silver-mont, their vids are always interesting to watch :)

From the Top Row: The Bearers of the Lord Souls

Gravelord Nito: No need for an explanation here xD

Gwyn, Lord of Sunlight: Drawing him was easy, but here I wanted portray a very stern, no-nonsense god king who really, REALLY is someone you don’t want to piss off, and someone who is almost NEVER happy and/or satisfied.

The Witch of Izalith: I’m honestly surprised there’s not much fanart of how her face might look like, so I pitched in. She basically resembles her daughters, but with a more matriarchal vibe, with a stronger jawline and sharper eyes to reflect that. She’s also very tall, towering over Gwyn and just slightly edging out NK in height.

The Furtive Pygmies, featuring Manus and a Pygmy Lord: With the Ringed City revealing that there were SEVERAL pygmies, I had quite some fun with the speculation and possibilities of how the Pygmies as a whole looked like.

Personally? I simply interpret them as humans but more, with more power over the dark soul, but otherwise having different roles in society like regular folk, the Ringed Knights are Warriors, the Lords are the rulers, etc.

I put Manus amongst them, why? Because no way should ONE man be able to have THAT much abyss power just because he’s a human. Since the dark soul is divided amongst humans, I interpret him having a huge chunk of the Dark Soul (as per these two threads), and thus was simply a mighty sorceror who happened to be really, REALLY old, even by Pygmy standards. Plus I always wondered… How does one torture a dead man? The Mad King was described as undying, so according to my own logic, he wasn’t totally “dead” when he was buried. His grave could signify him wanting a modicum of peace, after all, his entire race was basically put in a glorified prison by Gwyn… Sensing the growing madness within him (probably due to sheer isolation), he probably decided to “die” on his own terms in Oolacile… then future idiots proceeded to listen to TOTALLY NOT SUSPICIOUS AT ALL SERPENT and dug up his grave.

The random Pygmy Lord is basically representing one of the first Pygmy Lords.


Second Row: The Children of the Gods

The Nameless King, Firstborn of Gwyn, God of War: In a short period of time, has become my favorite character amongst the gods… There’s so much of a story to tell from him, his relationship with his family, the reasons as to WHY he betrayed the dragons, and thanks to lore threads a-plenty, I interpret him as one of the most honorable and dedicated of the gods. He watches over his warriors of sunlight even if they ARE humans (whom Gwyn HATES) AND he protects Dragons. Despite meI head-canoning him bigger than Gwyn and is in general a wall of muscle and armor, he’s STILL shorter than his sisters.

Gwynevere, Goddess of Fertility: Gwynevere here I interpret as one of the nicer gods, so I made her expression to reflect such. Because Gwyndolin’s illusion of her may be simply him projecting what he remembers most of her and thus potentially exaggerating certain aspects, I toned down a lot the “Aphrodite-esque” glamor, in favor of a more personable look, though still decked out.

Filianore: The daughter we know even less of than Gwynevere, but thanks to a certain reddit thread that discussed how dedicated NK was to her via the floral carvings that is present in Archdragon peak… She must have been someone who NK was VERY close with, so I interpret her as the “Always trying to bring life to the family” kind of sister, though closest to her eldest brother.

Gwyndolin: The Dark Sun himself. Not much else to say here, I just wanted to draw him happy for once… Because WHY FROM? He really, really needs it.


The Daughters of Chaos

Quelana, Mother of Pyromancy: Due to her own title, I interpret her as the Studious Daughter, incredibly dedicated to her craft and always finding out ways to further her pyromancy… Until the Chaos Flame incident happened of course… Then she became wracked with survivor’s guilt…

I also interpret her as being the responsible one looking out to make sure her sisters don’t do anything too brash… Though in hindsight, that would make her suvivor’s guilt worse.

Quelaag: The most well known Chaos Daughter, and whom I interpret as The Aggressive Daughter, hence why she’s the only one of the sisters with a melee weapon. As the most in-your-face daughter I head-canon that she is the one who lowers down her hood the most, especially when she feels like challenging someone. Also VERY protective of her family.

Quelaan, The Fair Lady: Last but not least, I interpret Quelaan as always having been the shyest and nicest of the daughters. Her hood is more drooped down compared to Quelana, to highlight her shyness.

Fun fact, while trying to find her real name, turns out the name Quelaan was the name the community gave to her, and just became established fanon, so I just opted to name her just that.


Third Row: Other Members of the Larger Pantheon

All-Father Lloyd: Gwyn’s uncle, founder of the Way of White. Now there IS speculation that he’s not real, but here I interpret as the real deal, and thus looks like a wimpier, older version of Gwyn, yet still has an aura of authority. I used a bit of Paladin Leeroy for his crown, because I interpret that, when he REALLY needs to get his hands dirty, he too wields a mace, setting an example to all paladin-esque worshipers after him.

His clothes are tattered despite being the godly equivalent of a pontiff, to highlight two things:

One, despite him being a “lord”, his tattered look is to signify he is not “above” the rabble/his followers.

Two, I head-canon him becoming slowly more insane and full of hate toward the undead,as more and more of his family and friends either dies off or leaving home… He eventually disappears for unknown reasons and becomes forgotten.

Fina, Goddess of Love: The most popular candidate for Gwyn’s wife, or at least his first, I wanted to design her with the Embraced Set in mind, just modified to look more queenly rather than armor. Going by the general fanon, I interpret her as the mother of both NK and Gwynevere, but due to unknown circumstances, just up-and-left. Why? I dunno I haven’t thought that deep :(

Also wanted to try out and giving her a different look, skin-tone and facial wise compared to all the other gods and goddesses out there.

Velka, Goddess of Sin: My favorite goddess, her lore and weaponry associated with her is cool, but even with DS3 and all its DLC, I wish we got to know more of her and how she even became the one to hold the title of “goddess of sin” and how she absolves it. She is also, I noticed in fan-art and fanfic, the other most popular candidate for Gwyn’s wife.

Due to the fact that both Gwyndolin and Filianore are associated with illusions and magic, I interpret her as the mother of Filianore and Gwyndolin. She has sharp features and very pale skin, and share’s Filianore’s dark hair.

For her design, I compared aspects of the Statue of Velka from DS3, and both Oswald of Carim and Cromwell the pardoner. I didn’t want her to strictly dress like Oswald and Cromwell, so I incorporated more feathers to her outfit to give her a more “regal” look, as befitting a goddess, and not just pardoner. Funnily enough, with her book of sins and outfit, she also gives the aura of a medieval judge.

Caitha, Goddess of Tears: The third goddess associated with Carim, and one that I intentionally kept her eyes hidden. Mentioned in both 2 and 3, I want to reflect her constant “mourning” nature, and since ‘Gentle Prayer’ is associated with her chime in DS3, I thought her being in a position of prayer would be most appropriate.

Nahr Alma, God of Blood and Murder: Take Titchy Gren, make him more beast-like in proportion, now make him the size of Father Ariandel with the animalistic agility of the Orphan of Kos or Slave Knight Gael, and you have the God of Blood himself. I interpret him as a kind of god that is shunned by the rest, and is mostly treated as an attack dog, and nothing more. REALLY resents the other gods.

youtube

Korean Entertainment Reporters Talking About BTS

(Subtitles available in Spanish, Russian, Ukrainian and Polish. English subtitles are not totally correct, I’ll add a new version of English subtitles later. In the meantime, I have translated a few highlight points below.)

Update: Added English subtitles (choose English (United States) to turn on).

(The video features 2 Korean reporters, reporter Jung Hyung who is currently an entertainment reporter, and reporter Kim Hyung - a former entertainment reporter and is currently a movie reporter.)

1. Jung Hyung: “I interviewed BTS before and also after they became this popular, and recently I came to their concert too. At the press conference, Rap Monster said that they want to go on an US stadium tour next time, and they want to invite the reporters who have been watching their growth to the stadium.”

2. Jung Hyung: “I talked about this on our channel once before. There’s a really cute story which is, BTS couldn’t get first place on music shows for a while. So before they release ‘I Need You’ and ‘Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa’, they said it’s their wish to win first place on a music show. I asked them “If you win first place, is there anything you want from your agency?” and they answered that they want to have a foot bath massager. They said if they win first place this time, the company must buy them a foot bath massager. And after that BTS really won first place with the album.”

Donggun: “Did they get it?”

Jung Hyung: “They didn’t. But I guess they can buy one with their own money now.”

3. Jung Hyung: “BTS is one of the groups that make us happy as we interview them. Especially Rap Monster and Suga, these two talk about music a lot. It’s not easy to keep on talking about music when interviewing idol groups. Because idols overall are like works, their visuals, from top to toe. Normally there’s quite a lot of things to talk about besides music, so we don’t really talk about music much. But since BTS produce their own album and write their own songs, they really love talking about music.”

4. Jung Hyung: “There’s a thing that made me impressed. The recent press conference took place when BTS was caught in many issues, like the ‘Not Today’ lyrics controversy. They must have predicted that there would be questions for them, so they prepared this much A4-paper document. (3:09).”

Donggun: “Who? Which member?”

Jung Hyung: “Rap Monster.”

5. Kim Hyung: “Surprisingly, entertaiment reporters get boycott a lot too. Like we are asked not to ask this and that kind of questions even at press conferences. Or if they feel like a question will be asked, they avoid it and act according to the script. The MC would pass that question and the celebrity would use a prepared speech. Or they tell the reporters before the press conference. Even though BTS became world stars, they prepare so eagerly for questions that bring them disadvantages. It’s hard to see such case.”

6. Jung Hyung: “One of the reasons that BTS win favor from people in the industry and reporters is that they understand the relationship between celebrities and reporters are like partners. Some people think reporters attack them, but BTS understand and think of reporters as the ones who help them. With that kind of partnership, as they grow bigger and bigger, us reporters are proud too.”

7. Donggun: “Is there any group that can receive high praise for their personalities like BTS?”

Kim Hyung: “I don’t think there’s anyone like BTS. I mainly work with the movie field, so when I heard today’s topic is about BTS, I asked the music field reporters, BTS fans and my friends ‘Why do you like BTS?’. The first thing they replied was because BTS are kind. You know they are a group known for their performances, but the first thing people answered was that they’re kind and have good personalities. They said BTS are so pure that they can’t be called top stars, and that it’s their charming point.”

fireminer  asked:

When did the Arcade really become something? Was it before or after the Pinball machines became popular?

Arcades actually go back to the early 1900s in the US, where they were called Penny Arcades, and while they had slot machines and pinball, they also had things like love testers and Edison kinetiscopes where you could watch a woman take her clothes off.

People are often surprised to hear that the pinball machine didn’t have flippers until 1947 and they weren’t even at the bottom of the playfield until the early 1960s. Pinball (at least in the form it currently exists) is a lot newer than you think and is barely a decade older than the arrival of video games. The original form of pinball was basically a game of chance where a ball was dropped only to ding off metal pins at random and fall down holes with different payouts, very much like the modern game of pachinko.

Because Pinball was for gambling, there was a huge moral crusade against them in the early part of this century. On a personal note, my grandma used to tell me to stay away from “hooch, wild women, and pinball” (sorry Nani, I failed you on all three).

New York Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia declared war on pinball, and vowed to smash every single pinball machine that existed. Technically, pinball has only been legal in New York City since 1976.

What the Penny Arcades of the turn of the century actually had to offer wasn’t quite as important as who visited them, who the audience was for them: they were designed as cheap entertainment for the huge wave of American immigrants in big cities who had a little bit of money to spend. A major part of the reason movies were always a universal art form accessible to everyone (as opposed to something like ballet or theater) is that they had their origins with kinetiscope amusements consumed by immigrants in penny arcades, along with the nickelodeons that showed things like sports reels for boxing matches aimed at working class sports fans.

If I could be allowed a little digression, this is always why something like “upscale” movie theater chains like the Alamo Drafthouse make my skin crawl. Movies should be for the poor and for everyone, not for people who can shell out $14 for a bad order of hot wings, or a milkshake with wine in it. It’s a sinister sign of how wealth is massively concentrated in our new gilded age that these upscale theater chains target a shrinking percentage of the population with disposable income instead of the impoverished masses. The selling point of upscale movie theaters is that they automatically kick out anyone making noise, too, to create a “genteel” movie experience free of riff-raff, which I think is the kind of snotty crap a bad guy in a Rodney Dangerfield comedy would do. Recently, Alamo made waves for having all female showings of Wonder Woman. I have nothing against this idea (why would anyone be offended by this when you can see the movie in a thousand places?), but it comes off as phony grandstanding when done by a chain who’s sole reason for existing is delivering an experience for rich people. The living version of this image below: 

Returning to the original point, the key thing to remember about video games is this: in the beginning, they didn’t start off in the arcades, but were marketed toward bars and bowling alleys. This is why the marketing for these games in the early days was extremely adult. It kind of reminds me of how, come 2007 or so, the discussion around the Nintendo Wii was that it was a toy that could get you laid. Little by little, video games started to creep into the arcades.

The tipping point where the momentum shifted toward video games over pinball in the arcade was definitely Space Invaders in ’78, which was so wildly successful it showed that arcade video games were here to stay, and that they were a bigger moneymaker than the pinball machines were. There’s a story that Japan had a shortage of the ¥100 coin because of Space Invaders, which unfortunately is just too cool to be true, but it does go to show how it was a new cultural force that came in. 

3

danger is our middle name!

(part two)

satanslesbianmother  asked:

I am creating a black female character for a story that takes place in an area where...well, she's surrounded by white people who are almost obsessively politically correct, to the point of enforcing "colorblindness." I feel it's important to her character and to authenticity for her to react to her white friends being intimidated around the subject of race, but I don't want to end up writing the white person's "ideal black response" unintentionally. Any pointers?

Black Girl Living in a “Colorblind” Environment

Hey there,

Wooow, that’s like my entire life over here. Yes, I do have some pointers, but they’ll mostly just be my thoughts and experiences. Not everyone will have the same reactions as I do, but I hope this will help.

Internalized Racism

So I’ll just start by saying this is the perfect breeding ground for internalized racism. It is an everyday thing so subtle, so normalized absolutely every time, that the racism is hardly ever recognized for what it is. If your character is somewhat like me or people I know, they will struggle with the urge to not stand out, try to assimilate into the dominant culture or distance themselves from their culture(s) at the expense of their own identity, feeling the need to compensate and deflect stereotypes. They’ll be gaslit left and right, and replying with anything other than silence or agreement will most of the time start discussions or fights. They might at times feel like they’re living a lie, feel out of place and start questioning themselves. There’s more but you get the gist of it.

Reactions to Environment

Now most reactions will come down to: 

1) completely rejecting the white people and their culture,

2) trying to become like the white people and take on their views, 

3) or social withdrawal. 

What they all have in common is A LOT of unease surrounding your roots, your race and expressing your true self. 

Daily Struggles

There will be a lot of tension and anxiety when matters of race surface, even when they don’t end up mentioned or discussed. Feeling like you don’t belong, that you’ll only be accepted as long as you keep your mouth shut about racism.

Feeling unsafe comes to mind. I imagine your character desperately searching for people who might be different, looking for friends of color online, trying to make sense of their experiences by searching online, that sort of thing. If they do try to express themselves it’s because that person gives them the feeling that they just might be a bit more understanding than others and might get into discussions desperately trying for them to understand them. I imagine them not wanting to be seen as a stereotype while not wanting their race/roots/ethnicity pushed aside. High chances they will be passive aggressive about it because they lack any other meaningful way to express themselves. 

Of course there will be Black and brown people who’re content with assimilating into a culture like this. Good for them. But plenty of people also force themselves to believe that in order to survive. 

That’s what most of it comes down to. Surviving an environment that’s hostile towards you while it masquerades as your dear friend. 

~ Mod Alice

Daily Struggles - Racism & Racial Tension

In middle school, I had this friend. I was telling her a story involving someone else when she asked a strangely-worded question. 

“Did she look like you or me?” 

I was all “huh” until she pointed to my arm, my skin.

“Like you…” She said, then pointed to her own arm. “Or like me?”

I instantly fed off of the race-is-scary vibe and just muttered “Oh, like you…”

I grew up in a slightly less intense version of Alice’s environment, and my experience was passive-aggressive racism (micro-aggressions) with both the micro-aggressions and aggressive racism brushed over and kept low key. (That lady moved her purse when you walked by because she thinks you’ll steal it? Nah, she just needed it to warm her lap!)

I rarely felt the heat of racism. It wasn’t as blatant. Still, it happened in pockets.

Daily “racial tension” would be stares in public because seeing a Black person in the supermarket was a marvel. At school and other frequented places, well, they get used to you, so unless you’re the very new kid, it’s not likely she’d be made awkward on the day-to-day for existing (At least not until slavery is discussed and everyone is turning their heads to stare at her..).

Colorblind Environment and Balancing Culture

Alice hit the main points. Some reject the dominant culture, some embrace it (and may even allow and make race jokes at their own expense to cope) and some withdraw completely. I don’t think anyone fits into any neat category. 

Consider that your character may fall on a scale of embracing her situation, and rejecting some aspects. No one person is the same. 

I think background and home life will affect how she copes in this environment. I moved into my super-white town at a pretty young age, prior to that growing up in a culturally-diverse city and had sisters who did as well. We were able to embrace our culture at home among each other and other family even if that openness could not be experienced with most people in the neighborhood. If I’d been older before I moved, I probably wouldn’t have given a damn a bit more, or rejected more of the environment’s culture, but hey. 

Either way, it’s very possible for her to blend and embrace more than one culture. But how one embraces or how much, depends on the person.

Now, embracing different culture depending on the environment and code-switching doesn’t mean you’re at a cultural crisis or both sides cannot co-exist. For example, while I was made awkward about race in one experience, around that same age and time, I brought a bigger celebration of Black History Month to that same school by approaching administration on the severe lack of it. With permission and the help of friends, we made posters and announcements celebrating prominent Black leaders and inventors. That would not have happened if I didn’t have cultural pride being nourished elsewhere.

In Short

With maturity, self-realization, getting away from that environment and/or connecting with a knowledgeable and accepting group of people comes accepting what living in the dominant culture has made you, and hopefully embracing and not losing the culture you might’ve experienced without its influence.

As always, we’d also recommend having appropriate beta-readers take a look at your story for sensitivity and accuracy.

~Mod Colette

P.S. Based on some responses defending colorblindness as a good thing, which it’s not and is in fact racist (!) I would urge you to research the harms of the colorblind approach and learn of the huge disservice it is to People of Color to ignore the beauty that is diversity and in recognizing cultural differences.

PSA: “Seeing color” isn’t the same as “judging color.” 

Won’t dwell on it here. I do want to quote mod Brei from a different ask

Colorblindness is an act of racism by denying to acknowledge differences. I mean, no one ever says “I don’t see gender” so why apply such ignorance to race?

Hogwarts School Uniform

The other day I read a series of posts on the Hogwarts uniform and how book!uniform differs from movie!uniform, which is more canonical and whether there’s been/there should be some retconning to unify the books, films and illustrations from different sources. Since wizarding fashion is one of my favourite subjects (particularly since the word “corsets” was mentioned in HBP), I thought I had to write a post about it. So here it goes.

On tradition and unmuggleness

As much as I like the movie uniforms, the way I see it, they’re irreconcilable with those described in the books, which, both because they’re from the book and because that’s how I see them in my head, I consider canonical. Most people point out as proof of this that in a couple of occasions we are told more or less directly that the basic (I’ll talk more about this later) uniform does not bear any house indicator (see the Penelope Clearwater and Crabbe-and-Goyle’d Ron-and-Harry Cases, both in CoS). This is true. However, what I see as a bigger issue is the fact that the movie!uniform is basically a muggle school uniform with robes instead of a blazer, which, considering how often we see wizards struggling with muggle clothing, doesn’t really add up. And given that school uniforms tend to be on the conservative side of fashion, it would make much more sense to have the Hogwarts uniform resemble traditional wizarding attire.

On openings and trouserslessness

The movie robes are completely open at the front save for one (PoA-onwards) or two (PS-CoS) little clasps, which would take next to no time to do up and undo, so the movie robes would be put on and off like a bathrobe or a coat. However, most (if not all) of the times we see Harry changing into his school robes he’s described as pulling them over his head. To me that implies that the front is not open all the way down, that maybe there’s just a small opening with a few buttons, like a polo shirt. Either that or the robes are open all the way down but fastening and unfastening them is so tedious that students simply never do them up or undo them all the way. In a pre-zipper world, a front opening like that would most probably mean a metric tonne of little buttons, at least (look up some old-timey portraits, particularly of women’s fashion. They took their buttons seriously). No one has time to fiddle with that many buttons, so it would be easier to undo a few of the top ones and pull the robes over your head.

Personally, I think the left-hand version fits the description of “plain black work robes” better. And yes, there’s no indication anywhere in the books that the sleeves are flared or gathered at the top, but they look more wizardy this way, so. 

For an even more undeniable piece of evidence that supports the idea of having a closed front, look no further than Snape’s worst memory in OotP. When he gets levicorpused by James, we see his underwear. He’s not wearing trousers. Wh. Why is he not wearing trousers??? Because there’s no risk of accidental exposure of one’s undergarments when there isn’t a massive opening on the front of one’s robes, that’s why. Also, if for some sinister reason he had not been wearing trousers under open-fronted robes, everybody would’ve been able to see his pants already and it wouldn’t have been “funny” when James revealed them.

Moreover, it seems that trousers, even though they are worn in the wizarding world, are neither required nor part of traditional wizarding attire. See the old man at the Quidditch World Cup. Trousers have been adopted to some extent, but they are not considered wizarding clothing per se, but rather a garment borrowed from muggles. So if we go back to the idea that uniforms tend to be conservative, the Hogwarts uniform would have probably been designed to be worn with no clothes underneath other than underwear.

On hats gone with the wind and cloaks

Hats. “One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear.” Day wear. In the films (PS, basically), hats seem to only be worn on special occasions. And I can understand that; On set they’re probably a huge inconvenience as they like to fall off and have to be touched up constantly and may cover something/someone important. Still, canonically, a pointed black hat for day wear is part of the Hogwarts uniform.

Now, do not quote me on this, but I am positive that in one of the books there is a description of a windy day where students grab the brims of their hats so that they don’t get blown off. That’s the one and only time in the whole series (that I can remember) where the uniform hats are said to be brimmed. It makes sense, though, as traditional witch hats do have a brim. Modest brims seem adequate for uniforms. (I do think it is strange to make students wear hats indoors, but oh well.)

(Edit:  ‘ “Maybe I’ll skive off Divination,” he said glumly as they stood again in the courtyard after lunch, the wind whipping at the hems of robes and brims of hats.’ - OotP, chapter 17)

Then there’s the winter cloaks. Again, plain and black, this time with silver clasps. No crest, no house colours. And there’s also the protective dragonskin gloves, which seem to be used both as protective gloves for Potions/Care of Magical Creatures/Herbology and as regular winter gloves.

On house pride (or the lack thereof)

So far we have established that the uniform consists basically of plain black garments: a set of black robes (closed front), a black cloak, a black hat. Hence, by default, there is no way to tell what house a student belongs to just by their attire. Or is there? Here’s where the “basic uniform” I mentioned  before comes into play.

It is true that the robes, hats and cloaks are plain black when bought. And yet, there are many points in the story when Harry seems to simply know what house some students belong to, even when he clearly doesn’t know them. We get constant references to “a gorup of first year Ravenclaws” or “a Hufflepuff girl”, and since the story is told from Harry’s point of view rather than an omniscient narrator’s, there must be a way for Harry to tell apart people from different houses without knowing them personally. So how can we reconcile the ideas that some people’s house is recognisable at first sight while other people’s isn’t? It’s quite simple: CUSTOMISATION.

Bagdes, scarves, appliques, ribbons, hat ornaments, buttons, socks, belts, and a long etc, to show your house pride. Just as we can get jumpers and hoodies and caps and whatnot with the name and colours of our uni or specific college, kids in the wizarding world are probably able to buy (and make) house merchandise. These items would be available at Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade, and parents would send them to their children once they’ve been sorted or the kids themselves would be able to get them via owl order.

Some students may only wear a small badge on their chest. Others a scarf+turtleneck undershirt+bandana+animal-shaped hat bauble combo. I love to imagine some kids wearing ridiculously tacky things, like red-and-gold neck ruffles or bee-striped boots. And those kids who are not as inclined to show off their house? They can just wear their basic black uniform.  

The Final Proof

*A lot of people have come up with this theory, but it’s so perfect I had to write it down.

They say you learn the most from your mistakes. Mine came as I was watching “Murder Most Foul” and Charming said this:

I hadn’t really been paying enough attention to realize that he was talking about the sleeping curse that the Evil Queen had placed on him and Snow, so my mind immediately went to: What other curse needs to be broken? Luckily for me there is another curse that needs to be broken. Many of you know this, but it’s the curse that is keeping everyone in Storybrooke.

What we don’t realize is which part of the curse is still active. It’s not the dark aspects of the Dark Curse - that was broken by Emma as was prophesied/dictated by Rumpelstiltskin. No, it’s the other part that the pesky imp created that is trapping everyone here still.

The Savior curse. Think about it. The only reason Emma Swan is the Savior is because Rumplestiltskin made it so. In theory, Emma was no longer supposed to be the Savior after she broke the Dark Curse. Everyone was supposed to go back to where they were from, but that didn’t happen. Which means what? That portion of the curse, that tiny little drop, is a curse all in itself, and it too needs to be broken. When it is, Emma’s fate as the Savior will be broken; she will live.

Now you ask: But Emma was given the Shears of Destiny or whatever to cut herself from her fate and no longer be the Savior and she didn’t take it!

Well, we know how Rumple’s curse works right? A pair of pretty scissors wouldn’t break this curse because only one person has that power: Emma herself.

We’ve come full circle. Once upon a time Adam and Eddy pitched the idea that the curse would take seven years to fully break. Now we’ve reached that point. Once Emma breaks the Savior curse, Rumple’s spell that he placed on her life will break. Her Hero’s Journey will be complete, and she will return to her life in the real world, where no one needs her to protect them.

(I’ll come back to this in a minute)

So we know what needs to happen. Here I take it a step further and answer:

How?

It turns out that we have that answer too:


Ah yes. True Love. Here’s where I know I’ll lose half of you because “Once Upon a Time is obsessed with Captain Swan. Why can’t you see that, you’re blinding yourself, stop perpetuating nonsense, wake up blah blah blah blah.”

Well, I’m going to counter that with: Why is Emma still the Savior then? If Once Upon a Captain Swan is genuinely the entire point of this show, why is Emma still fated to die?

Answer: You can’t break a curse where you’re the Savior of the fairytale characters with one of the said fairytale characters.

Here you respond again with: “Well, Smartypants, you call yourself a Swan Queen shipper, but you’ve just contradicted yourself. You think the Evil Queen can break the curse with Emma? She’s a fairytale character too!”

Well, reader, you are very clever indeed. But shall I provide you with my next exhibit:

While it was super fun to watch, Split Queen was not just done for the optics. It was a setup for endgame. The Evil Queen may be a fairytale character, but Mayor Regina Mills (like Emma and Henry) is a completely original creation of our world. Which means, like Emma, the daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White, she can live a completely normal life outside of the Enchanted Forest.

I was trying to figure out the purpose behind bringing Wish Robin Hood back, and this line really explains it:

The writers are priming us for a much bigger version of this concept. Robin is the first test of the portal system. Will it allow someone who isn’t supposed to be “real” stay in the “real world”? We know Storybrooke, by our standards, isn’t a real place, it’s a refuge for fairytale characters from many realms, so it makes sense that he passes the test in this case, but what about Regina? Will she, a person who isn’t supposed to be real, be allowed to live somewhere like Boston or New York if Storybrooke doesn’t exist. This first trial proves that yes, she will be able to because something about her is connected to our world (that thing is literally the writers themselves). They have Regina grapple with this issue- Why was wish Robin able to come here?- because she’s next, and she needs to know that she’ll be okay when she tries to stay in this world.

If Regina remains unconnected to the Evil Queen, she should be able to help Emma break the curse and remain in this reality. Will it really be True Love’s Kiss that frees Emma from the Savior Curse and sends everyone to where they belong?

I would hope.

I also hope that I’ll find $2000 on the street tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean it’ll happen.

But it’s certainly the most reasonable solution since literally every curse is broken with True Love’s Kiss…

Have you ever wondered why there’s never been a True Love’s Kiss with Emma & her parents or Emma with Hook? Perhaps part of that is because True Love’s Kiss can only work with people who are from the same reality. Since Regina had True Love’s Kiss with Henry, that means she’s a part of his reality. Part of her belongs in our world. Emma has never shared True Love’s Kiss with Hook because he isn’t a part of her reality. He’s still a fairytale character. They can get married, she can choose that life, but that means she will remain tied to her fate as the Savior. She will always be connected to the Fairytale world. She will eventually die for them.

But if somehow, Regina Mills is Emma’s true True Love; if two “real people” who were created in this world- Emma Swan the bail bonds person, and Regina Mills the Mayor- shared True Love’s Kiss (not saying they’ll make it gay like they should) then the entire curse could be broken.

I just don’t see any other way they could go with this. The show has always foreshadowed that Storybrooke isn’t supposed to last.

We know there’s going to be a “reset” for the show…


And we know that Regina is no longer connected to the Evil Queen. Everything is setting up for the fairytale characters to return to their world.


But what happens next?

A good story always comes full circle, but the hero returns home with more knowledge and is in a better place. Odysseus goes on a crazy journey with a bunch of messed up shit but eventually makes it back home. Dorothy wishes she could experience life over the rainbow, but when she does, she learns that there’s no place like home. Harry Potter steps onto Platform 9 ¾ for the first time alone, and in the last book he steps on with a family. So if in the Pilot we see Emma in her lonely Boston apartment, wishing on a star to no longer be alone, it only makes sense that the last time we see her, she’s in her Boston apartment but she isn’t alone- she has a family.

We know Henry will be a part of that family, but it’s safe to assume that Regina will be there too, because of this promise:

Unfortunately all magic comes with a price, and my prediction is that price will be that everyone forgets that any of this ever happened.

I’m grounding this theory in the fact that the last time there was a reset, that happened to half of the parties involved: Emma and Henry 

In that scenario, the Dark Curse was destroyed. The Dark Curse’s purpose was to create Storybrooke, so once it was gone, Emma and Henry forgot that Storybrooke ever existed… But everyone in the Enchanted Forest still remembered Emma and Henry because the Savior Curse still existed- they all remembered the Savior. They were able to go back and get her and recreate the bridge between our worlds because Emma was still the Savior. Once the Savior Curse is gone, everything will be wiped out. Everyone will forget that the Savior existed, and why she existed. All the fairytale characters will return to their world where their stories will play out, and all the characters from our world will begin to lead a normal life.

That life for Emma and Regina could very well be together. It’s not guaranteed, but it would certainly explain why the writers have made an effort to keep Emma and Regina apart in Storybrooke while maintaining a certain amount of tension between them- because their story isn’t meant to play out in Storybrooke. It would also explain why it’s not a topic of conversation for any of the writers or actors- it’s a major plot point,  and talking about it would be a spoiler. Lastly, Adam Horowitz said himself that they weren’t queerbaiting:

If they’re planning on having Regina be a part of Emma’s new life free from the Savior curse, then technically this isn’t a lie.

But could they make it so that Emma and Regina’s relationship is merely as platonic co-parents in the real world? Of course. But at the end of the day we would still be right: Swan Queen would still technically be endgame, and it’s still a hell of a lot better than Captain Swan.

Jikook smutty fic recs

Hi everyone! So after my post recommending my fave jikook fics, I received a couple of requests for a smutty version of those recommendations. Althought most of the fics i suggested did contain a smutty part at some point in the story, and the fact that I don’t tend to read fic just for the smut (even if a lil smut is good. u know what i mean, u gotta earn it), i figured i would still be able to recommend some of my faves to you fellas

This will be kinda personal choices tho’, you’ll figure out i tend to prefer top!jk and bottom!jm and that i may or may not have some kinks

So yeah here are some of the great smutty fics I’ve read recently! As always, I’ll tend to suggest more recent fics, while incorporating classics because yeah

They are mostly Porn without plot/Plot what plot because that’s what i consider a smutty fic right?

* - spicy

** - hella spicey

*** - see you in hell

1. If i get in, i might just drown, by fatal (cumrich). *** One shot, 12k, complete. “fucking jimin has always been jeongguk’s favourite hobby. ruts just made it that much more special.” ((Ok so this is the ultimate one. Just go read the tags and you’ll understand. Just thinking about it is a sin. Also go read milk and honey by the same author if you liked it, it’s sort of the continuation!))

2. Underdressed and oversexed, by gangbang. * (hey look my fave author) Two chapters, 24k, not completed. “jungkook just needs the money. it’s kind of unfortunate jimin happens to be the porn star he’s jacked off to for the past three years.” ((Again, all is in the tags. Pornstar AU. Lots of dirty talk. A lil’ bit of plot, but not so much. The 2nd chapter is my fave))

3. Help you out, by snowflakechim. Two chapters, 6k, completed. * “Jimin is stressing over the end of the semester. Jungkook is more than willing to help.” ((Ok so this one is pretty short, but it’s in two chapters and really there is no plot lol. Ft. Jeonlous, and dirty talk.))

4. Entertain us, by NightsBurning. One shot, 10k, complete. *** “Jimin sometimes feels like the pressure is getting too much. His band members are all far too willing to help him out with relieving some stress, though.” ((Okay so this one… not only jikook, OT7. Sharing is caring. A true classic. Extra extra smutty. Just thinking about it make me embarrassed all over again. Go read it if you haven’t already.))

5. Primal, by Rose_gold715. One shot, 6k, complete. ** ”Jimin goes into heat and Jungkook sees Jimin’s unguarded, unrestrained Omega side for the first time.” ((ABO dynamics extremely well-written. + jeonlous. What there more to ask ? If it’s your thing i mean. you could try it w/ this one))

6. Stupid Batteries, by Zelupsi. One shot, 2k, complete. * “Jimin gets stuck on an alpha knotting dildo, and Jungkook ends up there to save the day.” ((Another ABO dynamics while we’re at it. + I found it quite funny so yeah but i can’t quite remember if the smut is that great))

7. For_Yoongi.avi, by strangedesires. One shot, 3k, complete. * ““Record yourselves for me,” Yoongi had said against Jimin’s lips after leaving the comfort of their shared bed.(OR: Jeongguk takes it upon himself to record himself and Jimin for Yoongi, and he gets a bit too comfortable with the power he has in Yoongi’s absence).” ((Starts with Jikook only, ends w/ sugaminkook. I did not think it was my thing either. But it was. And it’s gonna be for u too. Go read it. Dirty talk + dom/sub undertones.))

8. Backseat, by nomilkonlysuga (Umekozaru). ** One shot, 7k, complete. “Yoongi is possessive. Jimin is his. Jungkook is his. With the small difference that Jungkook can’t keep his fucking hands to himself, apparently. Punishment ensues.” ((Ok so this one is hella good. Trust me and go read it right now. Starts w/ a long long jikook. Then sorta turns into sugakookmin again, but you’re iniciated by now. Seriously it’s so good, it redefined my standarts for smut. Dirty talk, dom/sub undertones, do i even have to tag those? all my recommandations have it by now welp And a bit of an exhibitionist kink + cars))

9. Just a little bit more, by Levetrate. * 2 chapters, 4k, complete. “He hadn’t meant to say it, it just kind of happened.” ((Ok so the overuse of italics and bigger letters is hella annoying in this one, but i couldn’t not include a daddy kink one. It’s hella strong in this one, if you’re into that))

10. Detained, by PARKCHlM. One shot, 3k, complete. * “Park Jimin is a brat, but Officer Jeon is always there to put him in his place.” ((So to conclude this list, here’s what we all lowkey wanted since the legendary RUN BTS with the assclap : officer JK and prisoner JM having hate sex.))

So this concludes my smutty recommandations for you guys today! I felt so stupid and embarrased doing this but hey, still took me hella long time. I hope you enjoyed it!

If you have any other fic recs that are not included in this post or my previous one, please send it to me and i’ll gladly read it! And if you have any particular requests, don’t hesitate to message me about it!

See ya soon sinners’

Season 4, the case of the missing Watson, and why BBC John doesn’t love Sherlock

So yesterday I was reading @silentauroriamthereal‘s Best of Three, again (it’s a really good story!). And I realised that the John in that story is pretty much a total dick. He’s incredibly patronising and self-congratulatory about being such a wonderful friend to Sherlock etc etc etc, all the while being actually unimaginably cruel to Sherlock.

And I left a comment to the effect that I loved the story but hated John, and she very kindly replied that she thought it was pretty in character and I had this absolute oh my god moment because she’s bloody right, isn’t she?

And somewhere between Season 4 and Best of Three and SilentAuror’s comment, I think the scales sort of fell from my eyes with regards to John and the show. It’s not that Season 4 ruined John. Season 4 was the logical continuation of where they had taken the character, arguably from the second episode. Go back and look at the way John talks about and treats Sherlock, all the way back to TBB. Try to reconcile the way John talks to and about Sherlock with the way Watson talks to and about Holmes.

Season 4 John is not out of character. Not for BBC John. It’s extreme, but it’s not actually out of character. We think it is, but I think that we have good reason for that. In my specific case, I knew and loved the canon long before BBC Sherlock came on the scene. I know Watson, and I know how he feels about Holmes. So when John acted the way he did in Season 4, I thought it was awful, and terrible, and it came as a shock to me. Before Season 4, when John acted in ways that Watson would not have, I was like “well, maybe he’s just having a bad day’, but Season 4 made me realise that Watson hasn’t been having bad days, Watson has never been here at all.

We think that John is better and wiser and kinder than he is because we spend more time with the wiser, kinder versions of John Watson that we see in the canon and in fanfiction. We’ve been blinded by those Watsons to the truth of John’s character in the show.

And that leads me to another conclusion. BBC’s John doesn’t love Sherlock. We think he does, because Watson loves Holmes, and whether you think that it’s platonic or romantic or sexual or whatever, you can’t deny that there is love there, but John? He doesn’t love Sherlock.

I think he wants Sherlock. I think he’s addicted to Sherlock. To the cases and the life they lead and the danger and all of it. And I think that, like any addict, he hates Sherlock and everything that comes with him, and hates that he needs him. And that’s why the morgue scene happens. Because John, unlike practically every other Watson in history, does not love Sherlock Holmes. Because John wishes that he had never met him and wishes that he could live without him, and knows that as long as Sherlock is alive, he will never, ever be able to leave him for good.

Which means that yes, they really did do TPLoSH all over again, with a gay Holmes desperately in love with Watson, who doesn’t love him back. Except they dialled it up to 11, because everything has to be bigger and louder and hurt more, and instead of a straight Watson who still loves his Holmes, they have given us a John Watson of ambiguous sexuality who not only does not love Sherlock, but actively despises him.

(I also have some thoughts about how Sherlock has been moving toward becoming Holmes over the course of the series, while John moves further and further away from being Watson, but I’ll save that for another time.)

The Value Of Just Shutting The Fuck Up Sometimes


A few weeks ago, I was doing an interview with a reporter and she was asking about almost every weird GamerGate conspiracy theory that had come up about me in the last few years. I’ve honestly forgotten more of them than I remembered at this point. She didn’t seem to understand why I’d never addressed most of the accusations which had ranged from whose dick I touched to literally murdering people. She said in researching me for the piece, she’d only ever found the weirdo accusations but not my version of events, and seemed to not understand why I wouldn’t just say what actually did or didn’t happen.

I can’t blame her for being curious. I think whenever we hear something wild, especially about someone or something we care about, we want to know answers. Lord knows if you’re the one being lied about, it’s a natural impulse to want to set the record straight or give your side of anything.

Sadly, that’s extremely short sighted. No one thinks about what might happen next.

It’s been over three years of being accused of all kinds of shit from all kinds of people, and if I’ve learned nothing else, I’ve learned the importance of restraint and the responsibility that comes with having a large platform and gigantic visibility. It makes me feel like a kaiju where any small movement could potentially tip over a building. I’ve written a bunch in my book about how engaging with bad-faith accusations and signal boosting them just to refute them can easily backfire and ingrain false information in people’s minds even further. That can sometimes just come down to a math problem - if someone with an audience of 50 makes up a rumor about you, if you respond to it with your audience of 500, more people are going to see the false stuff than would otherwise. To complicate matters, there are enough people out there who think that even refuting something at all makes you look guilty. There are people who want you to be guilty because they already don’t like you. Frequently, bad-faith accusations will not be addressed by proof to the contrary, because you can’t reason someone out of something they didn’t reason themselves into in the first place. People are complicated.

But when you put your side of anything out there, the thing that comes next isn’t usually “oh, okay”. The thing that comes next is usually escalation. It’s people digging into shit trying to prove you wrong. It’s invasive, and it can have so much collateral damage.

For example, when people ask me why I didn’t address my ex’s claims about who I did and didn’t sleep with, even when I had the floor, I get why they’d ask. My own desire to keep some remaining shred of my privacy aside, those claims aren’t just about me. I’ve been accused of sleeping with people I haven’t ever really talked to, people who are pretty private in general who just want to be left the hell alone. I don’t have the right to drag them back into a messy situation that involves probably getting stalked and yelled at by nazis just to try and save my own skin, especially since it’s more likely than not that people are just going to believe whatever they want to anyway. Or maybe that’s me being cynical after watching years of people claiming that I fucked someone for a review I never got from a website I already had written for in the past. I honestly have, I think understandably, lost a bit of perspective on that particular point.

This is especially complicated by situations like mine, because I am under constant surveillance by people who hate my guts who are looking for people to hurt, and people looking to feed on “drama”, and people looking for new targets. If you think that’s being dramatic, there are places I know of that have threads specifically about stalking me *to this day* with literally thousands of posts in them. Bad faith actors aside, my audience is in the hundreds of thousands. The responsibility that comes with that is something I take extremely seriously.
It’s something that I encourage everyone else with big online platforms to take extremely seriously too. I think a lot of us internet famous folks ended up here without really trying to, and it’s easy to feel like “well I didn’t ask for this and it’s not my fault if something happens” and while, yeah, sure, you can’t take responsibility for the actions of other people (especially people who are super out there and just looking to hurt someone regardless of whatever you’re doing), I see no reason to not try to minimize harm. A power dynamic doesn’t cease to exist just because you didn’t explicitly seek that power out, or maybe didn’t even want it in the first place. People who have less resources than you will still have less resources than you regardless of how you feel about it.

When there’s a significant power differential at play, there’s harm algebra to be done when it comes to addressing disinformation. It’s not as simple as “just setting the record straight” in public, because once you make something public you give up a certain degree of control that you cannot get back. It might mean putting someone who is already hurting or has so much less than me in more harm than I’d ever face by just taking the reputation hit.

Sometimes there’s situations where I just have to take it on the chin, because nothing happens in a vacuum. Sometimes I just have to let it go, no matter how much it fucking sucks to have people out there tearing into you for reasons that really have very little to do with you, because the collateral damage is too much on too many people to justify any potential repairs to my reputation.

Honestly, it’s really not worth it to me to escalate a situation just to make a frequently pointless attempt at getting people to be more critical of the wild shit they read about me online, especially when it means probably hurting someone else. It’s been years and I still don’t know how to navigate a lot of this. I’ve tried so much already - talking about bigger stuff, proving what actually happened, attempting to prove negatives, responding only with screenshots of fighting game win screens. It’s not like people making shit up about me, regardless of motivation, is a novel occurrence in my life. It’s not like I’ve made the right call all the time - I’ve arrived at this method of dealing with shit after making a lot of *wrong* calls. I’ve been pretty open about being a bad fit for being a public figure of any sort - I was (and still feel) vastly unprepared to handle being a weird symbol to so many people who want all kinds of things from me regardless of if they need a villain or a hero or a symbol of whatever the fuck.

Frankly I can’t live my life around playing whack a mole with whatever new horseshit slithers out of the corners of the internet on any given day that ends in Y, because when I was trying to do that it really almost cost me my life.

A fun side effect of being a survivor of domestic violence is how easy it is to slip back into doubting your own life and experiences to a hyperbolic degree. A fun side effect of depression is feeling like everything you say and do is bad and wrong and that you’re worthless on a regular basis. A fun side effect of my PTSD is flashing back to being in that fucking elevator shaft when GamerGate started and I couldn’t sleep or eat and was convinced everyone would turn on me and I’d be alone forever any time some conspiracy comes up that hits me at just the right angle that it gets under my armor.

But I know that’s squarely out of my control. All I can do is manage what I do with that. I don’t know what else to do other than seek external advice from people smarter than me when something comes up that really gets under my skin or makes me doubt my own version of events even when I damn well know something didn’t happen to help counter the trashbrain filter that the disinformation comes in through because having those issues doesn’t let me off of any hooks. I don’t want to use any of that, or even my status as someone who is frequently targeted with shit that I’m too exhausted to type out so just picture me gesturing vaguely at everything to absolve me of anything. I don’t ever want to think I’m above reproach, so I check in with people around me who will be honest and call me on my shit. When I do fuck up, and I do because I’m a human in an extremely weird fucking situation, I do whatever seems like the right thing to do, not the face-saving thing to do. Sometimes, this is shit that’s done in private. I don’t know why people assume everything has to be handled extremely online. But overwhelmingly more often than not, shit is maliciously made up, and more often than not the only right move that will de-escalate shit and hurt the least amount of people is just letting it go and praying that people will see through it, or they’ll actually talk to me if they see some wild accusation. And if people wanted to look for reasons to think the worst and get the knives out immediately, honestly, I feel extremely done with anyone looking to build people up only to gleefully tear them back down. I’m tired and I’ve watched too many communities devour themselves to want any part of that, and am only interested in working toward a future that’s centered on restorative justice instead of exclusively punitive systems in different settings. I’m tired of enthusiastic disposibility masquerading as community. All that behavior says to me is that I was never safe around you in the first place.  

I know I’m taking a gigantic risk in even posting this to begin with because I know it’s an uncomfortable subject, but it feels like a bigger, longer-term risk to watch my comrades, siblings, and friends all scared and lost on either side of the power dynamic - both as people who have grievances with people with gigantic platforms, and as people who have gained both visibility and the jealousy and hatefollows that come with it. I’m tired of talking about this stuff in dms with other scared people who don’t know what to do. And by no means do I think this is the only way to deal with any of this - this is just how I feel, and how I approach being someone who went from being some random weirdo to being a cultural football. Your mileage may vary. Hopefully I figure out a way that’s less dehumanizing, and if I do, I’ll be sure and let you know. But again, I’m a random weirdo game developer. I’m figuring this shit out as I go, and I lean into my skids and wear my heart on my sleeve and if y'all want to throw me in the trash over being aggressively vulnerable and human at you, that’s ok. You don’t have to like me or support me, and I like trash anyway.

Shit’s pretty fucked up in the world right now (duh), but the very least we can do is really interrogate how and what we use our varying degrees of reach and visibility for. We have to see ourselves as part of something larger and look at our impact instead of just our intentions. For me, sometimes that means that being right doesn’t mean a damn thing and is unrelated to doing the right thing. Sometimes, for me, that means knowing when to just shut the fuck up and let people think what they’re gonna think. And if nothing else, I’ve seen that on a long enough timeline, people tend to figure out who makes shit up without my involvement.

So I’m only gonna say all of this once, here, so that I never have to say it again and I can point at it any time I’m asked to weigh in on something someone said about me on the internet, because god damn I’m tired and I’d rather spend my time and effort trying to help people and make dope shit than fuss about what people think they know about me.

ruby-orchideous  asked:

is there a sort of cheat sheet of when to use each spanish tense?

There’s not a hard and fast cheat sheet exactly, and it’s easier to understand in context and with examples but I’ll go over what I can as quickly as I can.

This is going to be very informal and possibly have some typos so bear with me.

I did a bigger post on all of this for my masterpost if you want to see a really longer and more in-depth version with more sources and posts


First, moods. Because the linguistic moods encompass different tenses and you sort of have to know them.

Indicative

Indicative is honestly… so hard to describe. Because it’s really just anything that isn’t subjunctive or imperative. It’s used as basic statements that are clear and contain no doubt [subjunctive], and they’re not commands [imperative]. The indicative mood contains the majority of all the tenses you’re going to learn in Spanish. Some of these tenses are easier to understand than others.

Honestly, just think of indicative as not subjunctive and not imperative. Its characteristics are so hard to point at like “there! that’s what it is!” so it’s easier to say what it isn’t.

Anyway, here are all the tenses that show up in indicative.

  1. Present
  2. Preterite
  3. Imperfect
  4. Future
  5. Conditional
  6. The Perfect Tenses*
    Present perfect
    Pluperfect
    Future perfect
    Conditional perfect

*Perfect tenses are as indicative as you want them to be, more on that later


Subjunctive

The subjunctive mood is used most often with the idea of doubt. That’s not all it is, but it’s doubt, subjective opinions, polite requests, contrary to fact statements, hypothetical situations.

The subjunctive is easiest to understand when it uses a compound sentence, with one subject acting on the other. For example quiero ir “I want to go” is indicative because it’s what one person wants themselves to do. 

Subjunctive in its easiest to understand form is something like quiero que vayas “I want you to go” where it’s one subject acting on the other.

Subjunctive is also used in expressions like “wherever”, “whatever”, “whoever”, “whenever”, “even though”, and can sometimes be used with the words cuando and si and aunque which are a little iffy.

There are certain phrases that are subjunctive as well, but that’s a bigger thing.

  • Present subjunctive
  • Imperfect subjunctive
  • Future subjunctive [now obsolete, mostly]


Imperative

Probably the easiest mood to understand. Imperative is used for commands. Affirmative ones are “do it”, negative ones are “don’t do it”.

There does exist an imperative-subjunctive hybrid known as “indirect commands” which are politer than a rough command would be. Subjunctive does polite requests where straight up imperative can sound forceful or brusque. Instead of saying something like habla “speak”, you could say que hables which is “speak” but in a politer way and can sometimes be translated as “may” like… que sean felices “may they be happy”

  • Affirmative commands
  • Negative commands

It’s so easy to understand what imperative mood is that I’m going to leave it here like this and talk about everything else instead. Affirmative and negative commands are really easy to understand.


1. Present Tense

I don’t even know how to properly explain present tense because it’s just so… present tense. It’s things that exist in the present as statements, basic facts, pretty much the same as English present tense. “I am”, “you are”, “they go”, “we see”, the most basic of the basic and it implies there is no change in them as far as it’s not happening in the past, and we’re not really discussing future.

Present tense for Spanish gets a little iffier in that it can also be used for “continuous present” and that means that the present tense can be used alongside or in place of the progressive forms. 

Like nado “I’m swimming” can be used interchangeably with estoy nadando “I’m swimming”. The only real difference is that the progressive forms (-ando, -iendo, sometimes -yendo) can be used in different tenses [estaba nadando “I was swimming”] but it depends on the verb of motion… it expresses continuous motion or movement regardless.

And there are times when present tense is used for short-term future. Like voy a Italia “I’m going to Italy” is implied to be the near future while iré a Italia “I will go to Italy” in future tense expresses more long-term plans.

2. Preterite

The preterite tense [sometimes known as “simple past”] is best understood as completed actions that happened in the past that are uninterrupted. They are used for how things were in a particular moment, and is most often used in definite time phrases where you see a date or time or particular “moment” mapped out. Preterite can be a little clinical if used just by itself, but it’s best for definite facts.

3. Imperfect

The term “imperfect” means an action that is not yet completed. It’s something that was happening before something happened. You use it for narration and description, but there are certain expressions that you only use imperfect for.

For example, imperfect can carry the meaning of “used to (do something)” and that doesn’t exist in preterite. Whether you use imperfect or soler in imperfect, it’s the same general idea… iba al cine “I was going to the movies / I used to go to the movies” and solía ir al cine “I used to go to the movies” are things preterite does not express.

Another common one is that when you’re talking about time in the past I’m pretty sure it’s always imperfect; era la una “it was 1 o’clock”, eran las dos “it was 2 o’clock” etc.

Imperfect can be used for interruptions [interruptions are usually preterite] where… iba al cine cuando empezó a llover “I was going to the movies when it started to rain”. Multiple imperfect tenses mean it’s an uninterrupted narrative, iba al cine, estaba lloviendo, eran las dos y decidí almorzar antes “I was going to the movies, it was raining, it was 2 o’clock, and I decided to eat lunch before”

You run into some iffy territory with expressions like the weather or tener expressions, where usually it would be tenía hambre “I was hungry” but then maybe eran las dos y tuve hambre “it was 2 o’clock and I was feeling hungry (at that time)”. 

Same thing with weather, hacía frío “it was cold” and then hizo mucho frío ayer “it was really cold yesterday” 

A lot of people struggle with imperfect and preterite but together they’re the past tenses.

4. Future 

The future tense is pretty self-explanatory, things happening in the future or the faraway future. It does get translated as “shall” in some contexts, so the Ten Commandments for example take future tense no matarás “thou shalt not kill”. 

5. Conditional

You use this for a future where it’s not exactly certain but you’re more certain than uncertain. It’s not used by all people all the time, and in some places conditional isn’t used at all. But you see it used mostly with imperfect subjunctive, or an implied one.

It would be something like… no lo haría (si lo supiera) “I wouldn’t have done it (if I had known)”

Conditional requires that something happen before it can happen, so it’s something like a sure hypothetical. Like an “if I were in that position, I would feel this way”

When not used with imperfect subjunctive, it gets used most often with poder and deber in the sense of podría “might (do something)” and debería “should (do something)” 


6. The Perfect Tenses

Using haber you can make things “perfect”. If the “imperfect” tense is things that have not been completed, “perfect” is things that have been.

This is like… “I have done”, “I have seen”, “I have gotten”… and it requires some conjugation of haber along with a past participle.

It can exist in indicative or subjunctive, but not imperative. You might see he visto “I’ve seen” or espero que hayas visto “I hope you’ve seen”.

haber is the same thing when you say hay “there is/there are”, or había “there was/there were”

Side Note: haber does conjugate to the preterite tense… hube, hubiste, hubo, hubieron, hubimos but you’re not likely to see it. You might see it used was “there was/were” but rarely.

The difference is that había is more common, and hubo is drastic and only shows up in the event of an emergency so you see it more in news reports.

Like… había lluvia “there was rain” is normal… hubo lluvia “there was rain” makes it sound like a really strong downpour just messed you up. You would normally see it as hubo un accidente “there was an accident”, hubo un terremoto “there was an earthquake”, hubo un diluvio “there was a flood”… not really the everyday kind of thing.


Present subjunctive

Subjunctive happening in the present. These are things like polite requests, doubts, subjective emotions that are happening in the present. These aren’t so clearly defined as I’m putting them, but they help as far as examples.

Polite request: quiero que pongas la mesa “I want you to set the table”

Doubt: dudo que llueva “I doubt it will rain”, no creo que llueva “I don’t believe it will rain”, no pienso que llueva “I don’t think it will rain”, no estoy seguro/a (de) que llueva “I’m not sure if it’ll rain”

Subjective emotions: es importante que vengas “it’s important you come”, es probable que vengas “you’ll probably come”, me alegro (de) que te guste “I’m glad you like it”, me molesta que no me escuchen “it annoys me that they don’t listen”, no me importa lo que digan “I don’t care what they say”

You also get the “whatever”, “whenever” things I mentioned like haz lo que quieras “do whatever you want”


Imperfect subjunctive

You can pretty much divide this into subjunctive in the past and subjunctive in the future. The past is pretty much like present subjunctive just… in the past.

Note: There are 2 forms of imperfect subjunctive. That did mean something in the past, but today it’s really up to you which form you use. Latin America favors the endings of -ara/-iera, Spain prefers -ase/-iese

Again, in older stuff it does mean something different if you see llamara as opposed to llamase, but today not always.


Requests: quería que pusieras la mesa “I wanted you to set the table”, me exigieron que dijera algo “they demanded that I say something”

Doubt: no estaba seguro/a (de) que lloviera “I wasn’t sure it would rain”

Subjective emotions: era muy improbable (de) que estuviera aquí "it was really unlikely that he/she would be here”


You get into murkier water with hypothetical situations and contrary to fact statements which tend to show up with conditional. These are most like when English says “was” and “were” like “even if it was” or “if I were”.

Hypothetical situations:

no se despertaría aunque cayera una bomba “he/she wouldn’t wake up even if a bomb fell”

Contrary to fact statements: 

si fuera rico/a, viajaría  “if I were rich, I would travel”


Future subjunctive

Honestly don’t worry about future subjunctive so much. It only really shows up now in older works or in contracts as si fuere menester “in the event of”. It’s not impossible to see it, but it’s something you see more in older things and is largely obsolete now… it looks like imperfect subjunctive, just with -e endings

Almost all of its functions were given to the imperfect subjunctive which is why it gets used for subjunctive in the past and future


Conjugation Cheat Sheet

Present subjunctive and imperative forms (a lot of time; there are exceptions and irregularities) take their forms from present tense yo forms. Irregularities on the yo form usually exist there too.

Imperfect subjunctive and future subjunctive forms take their conjugational forms from preterite tense 3rd person (for the most part)

Future (indicative) tense and conditional (for the most part with some very notable exceptions) will be the infinitive form just with an accented ending and have the fewest irregular forms of pretty much any tense… hablar goes to… hablaré and hablaría etc.

Rearranging Myself For Comfort

So I’ve been getting a lot of people asking a variety of questions over the last few weeks; I’ve posted some on here and others have been direct messages. A lot of them, while different, all seem to follow a theme; tell me if you can spot it:

- ‘What would you recommend when going out dressed up?’

- ‘Everything is uncomfortable, what should I wear?’

- ‘Should approach my partner/friends about crossdressing?’

Spotted it yet? All of these questions are, at their basic form, about being comfortable as a crossdresser.

During every crossdresser’s life, they’re going to fell uncomfortable; this could be either physically, mentally, or both. I’ve felt it, you’ve probably felt it, everyone feels it.

Is it because crossdressing is something that’s seen as unnatural? As though you’re doing something taboo or forbidden?

Nah.

Let’s be realistic for a second here. We’re living in an age where fashion saw the boundaries of ‘normality’ and waved while they went sprinting right past; a man in a dress, no matter how feminine or masculine they look, is nothing surprising any more.

I’m gonna try not to sound like a bitch here, but it’s not them, it’s you.

So Why Am I Uncomfortable When Dressing Up?

1. Because That Dress Ain’t Right On You

I’ve said this so many times before, but I’m gaining hundreds of followers every week so I’ll say it again for all you newcomers (Hi there by the way).

Dress for your body, not what you want your body to be.

Dresses aren’t magical; they don’t just magically give you curves and hide your shoulders. If you’re going to wear a tight dress that starts just above the cleavage and stops just under the hips, you better make sure you’ve got the body to support it (go look at @abbycatsuk, she’s a perfect example of how this look can be pulled off).

Certain looks (like the short, tight dress one) is such a hard look for crossdressers; even experienced gurls, myself included, have difficulty making it work. It isn’t because you’re not good at crossdressing, it’s because these dresses aren’t made for everyone. There are a lot of actual girls out there that would struggle to wear something like that.

Instead, you should wear something that compliments your body type. @isabelladecarrington has made several great posts about this and, quite frankly, puts it much better than I could. It’s worth reading her work if you want to know how you can dress for a more feminine figure.

If you’re after the TL;DR version, don’t wear something short that will cling to your body unless you’re 100% confident it will work. Instead, try a skater dress, I’m yet to meet a gurl who doesn’t look natural in one.

2. Because you’re hiding something.

I’ve struggled a lot with this. Not just with my current partner but previous girlfriends and even friends. Hiding as a crossdresser, for some people, isn’t a choice but a necessity. However, for others, we hide it simply because we’re nervous of the reactions from those close to us.

When I told my friends I knew there wouldn’t be a negative reaction. I realised later that I struggled to tell them because I had made it into a big deal in my head.

This made me extremely uncomfortable. Any time we met where fashion or makeup was talked about, I felt like I couldn’t join in because I would out myself. At the same time I wanted my friends to know, but I felt I couldn’t tell them only because I had kept it hidden.

It felt like a bigger problem than it should have been because I had kept it a secret for so long…

Unsurprisingly, there’s an easy way around this.

If you feel uncomfortable around people because they don’t you crossdress, just tell them.

So many people don’t really care about it these days. In fact, in a lot of circles, it’s finally getting accepted as something that is simply a hobby, no different to collecting stamps or gardening.

The benefit to this; my friends ask me about Jess all the time. I get asked on a regular basis whether I’ll be going to social events as Jess or not, and sometimes Jess has even been requested to make an appearance.

This might not be a problem if you crossdress as a fetish, but for those of you who feel crossdressing is a part of who you are, it’s certainly worth a try. Worse case scenario, you find out who your real friends are.

3. Because you think people are staring at you.

Let me tell you about the first time I went out as Jess. I was wearing 6-inch platform heels and towered over practically everything and everyone in London (I was asked to change the batteries on Big Ben, I politely declined). I like to think that everything else looked on-point, but being that tall made me stand out.

I got a lot of stares from people when I first left the car, especially from an elderly drunken gentleman who couldn’t figure out if I was a man or an Amazonian. I had a few wolf-whistles and several sexual comments (probably out of jest, but I’ll take it regardless).

After a couple of minutes, I completely forgot I was even wearing a dress.

Confidence can really help here, and I can’t express how much better it was to be surrounded by friends at this point, but after not very long I stopped thinking about everyone else and just how happy I was to be out. People might have still been staring, but I was no longer caring.

The upside of this is that I only got compliments, not insults (to my face at least). Several people came to tell me about how they loved my outfit, some asked about my heeled boots and several people were shocked when they heard my voice and had simply assumed I was just hella tall.

The thing is, the people who don’t like it won’t make themselves known. The people who like/love it will go out of their way to let you know. The first step is the hardest, the rest is just a cat-walk.


Yeah… I’ve gone and dragged this on again haven’t I. 

For those of you who are curious, I’m still contemplating starting the Crossdressing Magazine. I didn’t get as many responses as I wanted but it’s clear that it’s something many of you are interested in.

Regardless, here’s a picture for those of you had the patience to read through this essay of a post (much appreciated).

Yep, those are the tower boots.

I’m going to post a photoset of this outfit tomorrow, so keep your eyes peeled for that. Until then, thanks for reading! I hope this has helped a few of you.

If it has, make sure you reblog for your followers too!

- Jessica Blaise x x

anonymous asked:

Do you have any advice on what to do if you lose your joy and interest in writing when a writer was how you identified yourself?

(wry look) Life just pulled one of those cute things where I had three-quarters of a response written and I hit the wrong keys somehow and it all went away. Which tells me that this is important. So let me recreate it.

The best advice I’ve got for you right now is to lean back and wait, because normally the joy and interest will come back. Being a writer, and having enjoyed and been interested in it previously, isn’t something that goes away all that easily. The set of behaviors that make up being a writer are complex and difficult to ingrain… which is going to make the ability to do this kind of work difficult to lose even if you were trying to do so. So, first of all: take heart.

Now it has to be said that, human nature and psychology (and nature itself) being the cranky intransigent things they sometimes are, it may (paradoxically) be necessary for your recovery of your joy and interest in the work to completely surrender to the concept that you might actually have permanently lost it. I know this sounds counterintuitive, but the effectiveness of simply giving up is sometimes surprising.  There’s a saying attributed to Carl Jung, the father of the concept of Archetype as we now understand it, that goes like this: “What you resist, persists; and not only does it persist, but it gets bigger in size.” (There’s a good long article about this concept over here in Psychology Today: worth looking at. …Though I also have to say that the illo at the top is hilarious and perfect, because Kylo Ren should frankly be the poster child for the whole idea.)

My own experience suggests that there are times when as soon as you give up, the thing that’s been eluding you either collapses to the ground where you can just stroll over and reclaim it, or turns around and runs headlong into your arms. Frustrating, but what can you do? When the whole point is to get whatever it is back, the idea that it played you a little in the process will after the fact seem less of an issue.

Possible causes for what’s going on with you are worth touching on briefly. I’ve had occasion to post a number of times about something that C. S. Lewis codified in The Screwtape Letters as “the Law of Undulations”. Now as much as I love him, there would be a lot of things that Clive and I would disagree about, but this wouldn’t be one of them. I think he was really onto something. So take a look at that basic post, and then we can move on a bit.

With the Law in mind, while you’re working on what “giving up” might look like – assuming you need to go that far – here are some possibly similar situations and strategies to consider.

Some of the above situations come with suggestions of possible things you can do about them. But do not underestimate the power of simply waiting a while and not doing anything. It’s worth emphasizing that in our culture as it stands at the moment, there’s endless emphasis on immediately DOING THINGS to fix what ails you. Sometimes not doing anything is more effective – though to some people that’s going to sound heretical, and you’ll run the risk of being accused of laziness (not least by the back of your own mind, once it realizes you’re onto something that’s going to give you back control of the situation. The self-sabotaging wiliness of a subconscious about to lose its advantage can be a terrifying thing… but even that loses some of its terrors when your conscious mind suspects or knows what it’s up to.) Anyway, ignore that noise.

Give doing nothing a good long chance. Stoke up on your reading. Get caught up on TV and movies if that’s your thing. Do other work. Create something that isn’t writing. (Cooking’s good for this. I love being responsible for mighty successes or godawful failures in the kitchen and knowing that the critics at Kirkus and PW are not going to give the slightest damns about it.)

But tl:dr; Don’t despair: just kick back and wait. And see how it goes.

…And eventually let me know how you get on. :)  HTH.

BTS~ Caught in the Act

Anonymous said: I really liked your GOT7 version of getting caught in the act, so could you do a BTS version of it? Please and thank you! :3

A/N: OF COURSE I CAN!! OH MY SHIT! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR A BTS REQUEST! I LOVE YOU ANON! i might be a little too giddy right now… oops

GOT7 VER


Seokjin / Jin

It was late and not many members were around so Jin talked you into his pleasurable needs, only if you promised to keep quiet. He began kissing you deeply as he hovered above you, holding his body up with his right hand as his other hand gently moved from your shoulder, down your torso and to your thigh, lightly brushing your skin and sending adrenaline through your body. His lips never leaving yours as he slowly grinded his hips into you while holding you as close as he could get you. Suddenly the door flung open to reveal one of the boys. As you covered your face from embarrassment, Jin stayed on top of you and simply glared at the figure that soon began fumbling for the door handle before leaving.

“Are they gone?”

“Yeah” He giggles at your cuteness. “May we continue?” He smirks.

Originally posted by blackandwhitebangtan

Yoongi / Suga

You and Yoongi were under the assumption that the dorms would be completely empty, leaving only you two to do whatever your hearts desired. In this case it was simple kisses that soon turned into deeper kisses and the lose of some clothes. You slowly leaned back on the sofa while Yoongi hovered over you, his hand gently grazed over your bare skin. Your eyes fluttered shut as he trailed soft kisses down your neck and began to grind his hips into yours. Every touch made your heart beat faster but when you heard voices on the other side of the front door, you and Yoongi scrambled for your shirts before calmly sitting back onto the sofa.

“Hello friends! What did you guys do while we were gone?”

“Watched movies.” You both say in unison.

Originally posted by jeonbase

Hoseok/ J-Hope

He hadn’t seen you all day and in Hobi-time, that’s forever. He wanted nothing more than to hold you and shower you with kisses but when he came back to the dorms early and found you in nothing but his t-shirt and his favorite pair of your panties on, his plans became dirtier. You jumped and pulled out your earbuds as a pair of arms snaked around your waist while you stood in the kitchen. Hobi quickly told you how much he missed you before he spun you around and hungrily placed a passionate kiss upon your lips. You smiled slightly, knowing where this was going when he lifted you onto the counter and moved his hand onto your thighs. Hoseok pulled away from you as soon as he heard his friends walk through the door. You jumped off the counter and looked at each other as pink flushed your cheeks.

“O-ooh, We- we’re sorry.”

“Yeah I- I’m just gunna go, p-put on some pants…” You mutter.

Originally posted by nnochu

Namjoon / Rap Monster 

Late nights with Namjoon were always fun as you both would chill out in his room and talk about stupid things or watch old movies. Tonight was just like every other night until you felt him squeeze your thigh. Knowing this was one of your weaknesses, Joonie continued teasing you until you had enough and straddled his lap. He smirked before giving you a small peck that grew into a deeper, more passionate kiss. His fingers intertwining with the roots of your hair as he guided your hips against his. Your head moved from his when you both heard the door handle jiggle. Joonie’s head fell back out of annoyance before he lifted you off of himself and went to answer the door. 

“Stay here babygirl, You’re not getting away that easily.”

Originally posted by jjilljj

Jimin

He finally had you all to himself and wanted to make the most of it. Jimin layed you on his bed as he hovered over you, tracing lines on your hips and kissing you deeply. His kisses began at your lips but then he started taking them to your neck, then to your chest and down to your stomach, making sure you leave light marks everywhere. He slowly removed your bottoms before kissing your thighs as he grew dangerously close to your core. His hands holding you close as he made his way back to your lips. He fell to your side when someone opened the door abruptly, causing you to jerk up and hug your knees to your chest. Jimin quickly got up, trying to divert the guy’s eyes.

“Yah!? What do you want?”

Originally posted by kpopidolaegyooo

Taehyung / V

Tae was feeling needy and desperate. He had twenty minutes before stage so he took it upon himself to search for his girlfriend, which is why you’re currently laying on a couch in his dressing room trying to suppress your moans as he continues to tease your folds with his fingers. Watching you whimper was always one of his favorite sights but he needed more so he began to leave love bites down your torso. Tae quickly got off of you and threw a blanket onto you to cover you up when he hear the door handle rattle. Before he got to it, the door swung open revealing a few of the boys.

“We’re busy, I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

Originally posted by girlmeetsyoongismixtape

Jungkook

He couldn’t take it any longer. It was hot as hell in the dorms and the longer he watched your movements, the way your clothes stuck to your body, the bigger his problem became. Finally he got up before standing behind you and whispering “meet me in my room, now.” As soon as you walked threw the door, Jungkook pressed you against it, closing it in the process as his lips attacked yours. His hands quickly found the bottom off your shirt before he removed the fabric from your body. His hips pinning you against the door, making sure you can feel him. Suddenly the door opened, hitting you before closing again.

“Oh, whoops! Hey, you guys okay? I heard the door slam?”

“Y- yeah! We’re fine. Don’t worry about it Jin-hyung.”

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

This slowly turned into just smut

whoops


(☞゚ヮ゚)☞ Requests open for GOT7 AND BTS☜(゚ヮ゚☜)
All gif credits go to the rightful owner(s)

Masterlist ^.^

2

Quick doodles of the Dreemurr family! Originally it was just Toriel and Asgore, but I was asked to draw Frisk, Chara, and Asriel too, so I sketched out something fast for them. If you’re wondering why they look a bit different, it’s because Toriel and Asgore were sketched in pen traditionally then colored in photoshop. The kids are all done in photoshop.

ANYWAY! As far as headcanon goes I’ma do how I did MLP: start small then build outward to bigger subjects (speaking of, MLP headcanons will still continue of course). Okay anyway, headcanons:

- It’s common for the males of their particular monster species (goat-lion monster) to have manes while, typically, the females don’t. I’ve made Toriel a special case: a maned female. Why? I thought she’d look cute with hair. >.> Asriel will have blond hair like his father when he grows his mane in.

-They’re more lion than goat, so their sounds range from purring growling to roaring. That said, they can still bleat, which is pretty common in cubs.

-All of their species have saber teeth that are prominent but not very long.

-Frisk and Chara’s preferred pronouns are Them/they: they are both non-binary.

-Because I was asked earlier about Asriel, here is the short version of an answer I want to go more in depth with: Yes, Asriel is alive and well in my headcanon. How  that happened is still in the works.

But yeah. That’s all for now, I think. Thanks so much for taking a look, you lovely peeps! C:

Title: kick with the fray
Rating: T
Word Count: 1638 words
Summary: Phil will laugh about this later. Maybe. Probably. (Not.)
Notes: Written for @nihilist-toothpaste​​​​​​, who requested jealous!Phil, for my thirty minute fics for charity fundraiser to benefit Puerto Rico. 

[read on AO3]

Phil’s shin hurts from banging into the costuming booth and his pride hurts from the sharp voiced words the woman manning it through at him and his dignity hurts from Dan and Anthony both laughing at him.

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And suddenly there were 400

Seriously though, it was like three days ago tops when I announced 300. I swear you’re just trying to squeeze celebratory fics out of me … 


“You’re so fucking stubborn!” Stiles shouts in exasperation, running his hands through already messy hair. They had been at it for at least twenty minutes now, arguing because Derek didn’t want to go to Lydia’s engagement party. He didn’t want to, knowing Lydia would be inviting everyone and their mother who had anything to do with her and Parrish. It would be too many people, too much noise and he simply didn’t want to if she was going to hold a pack-only version the week after. Stiles said he should go out of duty as her Alpha. 

“No, you just won’t let it go,” Derek growls, fists clenched in his lap so his claws don’t rip up the couch again. Although, last time, it was under much more fun circumstances.

It wasn’t uncommon for them to argue. It ranged from small skirmishes that end in mumbled apologies to bigger blow outs that ended in mutually satisfying hate sex that Stiles seemed to enjoy enough to start shit for (and Derek plays along because he loves his boyfriend and absolutely not because he likes it, too). The fights could rarely be called fights because it just was never really that heated.

Derek’s nose wanted to shrivel up and die with the anger Stiles’ scent was boiling in and his wolf howled with such an unhappy mate. Even as his human mind wanted to throw something at a wall with how angry he was, his wolf prowled in distress and he wasn’t sure if that was annoying or reassuring.

“News flash, buddy, you can’t be a hermit,” Stiles spits and Derek growl increases in volume in response. He may grumble about ‘big guy’ and snap his teeth as Stiles giggles about ‘sourwolf’, but he absolutely despised ‘buddy’. It only ever came out when Stiles was pissed and his sarcasm grew teeth that he intended to shred whoever his opponent was.

“I’m not a hermit, I go out. We go out,” Derek snaps back, eyes tracking as Stiles paces in front of where he sits on the couch. The line of his shoulders is stiff and the soft skin of his cheeks is blotched red.

“Yes, thank you, you’re dating me, but that doesn’t count as social interaction.”

“Why not?”

“Because! You need more people in your life besides me and the pack! You can’t have just me forever!” Stiles shouts, throwing his arms up obviously trying to dispel the anger that seems to build in his joints when he gets worked up. Derek just scoffs as he gets up and retreats to their kitchen.

He stops right there, even as Stiles continues his angry rant in the other room behind him. He pauses in the middle of their kitchen with the backsplash Stiles chose after weeks of debating it over and the cabinets Derek bled over while he installed them (staple guns were dangerous, damnit). Down the hall was a movie room that Stiles insisted on because pack movie nights were always going to be a thing. Upstairs and to the left was the master bedroom where their scents were so soaked into the very frame work, there was no way to tear apart Derek’s from Stiles’. This was their home, their pack, their life.

Derek turned around, eyes wide but unflinching as he walked back to where Stiles was still ranting and pacing. He’s still seething, and Derek can relate. He still wants to throw Stiles onto the couch and pin him there in full shift for a week until Lydia’s party has past. Instead he stops a few feet away and opens his mouth.

“Marry me.” Stiles stumbles where he’s wearing a divot into the carpet, dropping off mid-sentence to turn his head and stare open mouthed.

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              DAMON SALVATORE SENTENCE STARTERS.


                 taken from ian somerhalder’s portrayal of him on the show, not the book.


  • “Hello, brother.”
  • “Stop being cute.”
  • “Nostalgia is a bitch.”
  • “I’m stronger than you think.”
  • “I’m gonna go rip his head off now.”
  • “Our life is one, big proverbial coin toss.”
  • “I could rip your heart out and not think twice about it.”
  • “Sorry to spoil your seven minutes in heaven. We have a problem.”
  • “For someone who doesn’t wanna be like me, you sure are good at it.”
  • “Take it from the guy who supposedly got it all and is sitting with bubkis. Stop moping about who are not and start being the guy you are.”
  • “Very Emerson, the way you reveal your soul. So many… adjectives.”
  • “Is that where you’ve been all morning, out buying bossypants?”
  • “I’m not some drunk sorority chick. You can’t roofy me.”
  • “Does it get tiring, being so righteous?”
  • “You just don’t wanna die, do you?”
  • “Why are you so mean to me?”
  • “Don’t tell me what I can’t do.”
  • “Hashtag, you’re welcome.”
  • “The only one I can count on is… me.”
  • “Today has been a no-good, very-bad day.”
  • “This would be so much more fun if we were naked.”
  • “I guess I’ll have to cuddle up next to the fire with all my rage.”
  • “You brood too much… My actions, they belong to me. I own them.”
  • “I do believe in killing the messenger. Know why? It sends a message.”
  • “Can we not do the whole road trip bonding thing? The cliche of it all makes me itch.”
  • “I look at you and I see myself. A less dashing, less intelligent version.”
  • “Your search for life’s purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.”
  • “I’m trusting you. Don’t make me regret it.”
  • “Alright, brother. Time to go.”
  • “I’d be extra nice to me right now.”
  • “You are officially the most terrifying person I know.”
  • “Didn’t you find it weird that you made a friend so fast? Have you met you?”
  • “I gotta admit, even for me, it’s a little kinky.”
  • “You have no sense of humor.”
  • “So all’s forgiven?”
  • “I don’t do good. It’s not in me.”
  • “Stop being ashamed of who you are.”
  • “I’m better at being the bad guy anyway.”
  • “Take it from me: strange is bad, dead is worse.”
  • “I promise you. I will never leave you again.”
  • “You want a partner in crime? Forget _____. I’m so much more fun.”
  • “You know what they say: the way to a psycho killer’s heart is through his stomach.”
  • “Get your ass out the door before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out myself.”
  • “There’s no such thing as a bad idea. Only poorly executed awesome ones.”
  • “Hindsight is almost a bigger bitch than you.”
  • “I’ve been dead before. I got over it.”
  • “Life sucks. Get a helmet.”
  • “You need to stop doing that.”
  • “Humanity’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
  • “I’m staying clear of all women at the moment.”
  • “I want to throw you back in my bed and never let you leave.”
  • “You went on a murderous rampage. It happens.”
  • “First of all, don’t nickname. That’s my thing.”
  • “And here I thought my future was bleak.”
  • “I have moves you’ve never even seen before.”
  • “You do realize you are dating a reformed serial killer, right?”
  • “You know this whole pretending to hate me is getting a little silly.”
  • “Guilt. Don’t know it, but I’ve heard it can be a royal bitch.”
  • “One thing you’re not going to do, you’re not going to mess with me.”
  • “You’re lucky you’re adorable because your eternal optimism is super annoying.”
  • “If you’re gonna be maudlin, I’m gonna kill you myself. Just to put me out of your misery.”
  • “Sometimes really terrible things happen to amazing people.”
  • “You better start talking or I will kill you in your sleep.”
  • “That’s it? We’re gonna kill bad guys together and you’re not even going to talk to me?”
  • “Is that what you people think of me? That I just instantly resort to violence?”
  • “You are literally the best person I’ve ever known.“
  • “You came here to kill me?”
  • “Eh. I’ve seen worse.”
  • “I think I like you.”
  • “I’m a good guy now, remember?”
  • “I’m lost… metaphorically, existentially.”
  • “I like a woman who knows what she wants.”
  • “Just stop talking. Just kiss me. Be my distraction.”
  • “You once told me that calling me Satan was an insult to Satan.”
  • “So I’m thinking of a person. He’s reasonably good looking, charming accent, and he would be the most amazing wingman if he just got rid of his martyr complex.“
  • “Whatever desire you have to save me, I kinda need that right now.”
  • “Listen, how I got this amazing body has nothing to do with science.”
  • “Clarity over cleverness. That’s what I always say.”
  • “You’re choosing that woman over me?”