i liked this but i like it less now bc i see everything that's wrong with it

anonymous asked:

Please rate the Lancers so the world may have a clear and obvious objective base on which Lancers are the best characters because subjectivity isn't real and it is clear you are the expert on all things Lancer and thus are qualified to be the definitive objective source for all opinions on Lancers. (or just share some other lancers you think are cool and maybe some you wish had been done better that's fine too)

the best lancer which is why he’s the one everyone thinks of when you say ‘lancer’. the beauty. the muscles. the spandex. the personality. the voice. the colour palette. the archetype he represents. the way he fits into the rest of the fate cast. his skillset. his animations. the ultimate. the absolute. could’ve just stopped making lancers after this one bc they’ll never top this one. EX/10

handsome. entry level thirst but that’s not necessarily bad. victimises himself a lot in zero so people going uwu poor baby on him piss me off just a lil because both the situation with grainne and with sola was supposed to be morally ambiguous and out of everyone’s control. I like how he’s a good example of how feitos are kinda doomed to repeat the same mistakes of their legend. my top fav until I played fsn and learnt what true love is (its cu). 8/10

a good boy! a handsome boy! a boy of many talents! just wants to help at all times but never learnt how to mince words so he comes across as the absolute rudest fucker. in ccc he lists “his own poor communication skills” as the thing he dislikes. 10/10

wants to clear his name as bloodthirsty vampire but only the vampire part because he knows what he did and he won’t try to deny it, he just wants to clear up the things that were added later he didn’t do. very good and nuanced. very spicy uncle. I’m not saying I want to fuck vlad I’m just saying that if vlad were to come up to me and ask me if I wanted to fuck I would not say no. 9/10 I should actually read apocrypha sometime

spicier uncle but less personality. 8/10 why did he have to be a package deal with that fucking clown

pls no bully. treated as kind of a joke a lot but a really nice character if you pay attention. absolutely as bloodthristy and evil as her legends but all because she was genuinely never taught different and therefore doesn’t realise her actions are evil and the reason she is hated. desperate to be loved because her literal life depended on it. later on starts to slowly realize just how fuckedth she is and tries to make amends even though she knows full well she can’t possibly ever make up for everything she did. hates her future self’s guts because she knows what she did will make her end up like that but still wants to change it somehow because this time she knows it was wrong. 10/10 please god let CCC get localised

if i see one more fucker say she has no personality I will FIGHT I love her. insanely powerful and worked hard for it but because of it reached a point where none of her achievements are achievements anymore and instead are just something she would’ve done eventually bc she has all the time in the world for it. claims to want to die but actually just wants to feel alive again. actually pretty easily excited especially when fights to the death are involved but feels like she has to keep up a composed teacher front. an overcompetent mess who has no idea how to do anything without doing the Most. 100/10

now THERE’s a lancer girl with no personality. I’m sorry bryn you’re beautiful beyond belief but fragments has a bad writer and I hope you get to shine in fgo sometime bc that’s what saved arash and ozymandias 7/10 

treated entirely as a joke in fgo so far and mostly known in fate for getting cucked but his legend has a lot more and is actually pretty cool so I hope he gets to be taken seriously sometime too. dressed up as a baby once to avoid fighting a dude bigger than him. stabbed himself in the face to avoid falling into a magic sleep and then fucked up a dude another time. now that’s what I call a grab bag of a character! 7/10


dirt friend 10/10

whose fucking child is this



best friends to lovers w/ jaehyun (requested)

Originally posted by jihansoul94

a/n hi so im not doing my requests in order im kinda just picking out what i feel like doing ,,, as for the hidden relationship au’s ….. they’re gonna take a looooooot longer bc my tiny brain can’t think of plots for the 6 remaining members that fast lol!! requests are open tho! 

(can someone request a soulmate au lol)

recent: prince!taeyong au (check my a/n in this one it means a lot to me i just wanna talk about it ok someone talk about it with me in my ask PLEASE)

request: hi! can you do a bestfriend!jaehyun scenario where y'all get into a fight bc jaehyun is avoiding u but it’s bc he likes u? thanks!

genre: angst(?), fluff

  • so you and jaehyun have been best friends since you were little kids
  • its bc your parents are really close so you eventually got close as well
  • you two were inseparable growing up and u still are 
  • so now you two are going to the same uni
  • but yeah ANYWAY its break so yall are home for the next month or so
  • and you’re just hanging out with jaehyun in his living room nothing special
  • yall are just watching buzzfeed unsolved, cuddled up on the couch, its pretty much a normal thing now
  • in the middle of watching you feel kinda tired and you rest your head on his shoulder
  • he tenses up a bit which u notice but u don’t really pay much attention
  • and yeah thats where it started
  • the next day you were like “hey jae lets hang out today!!!!” and he was like “oh shoot sorry y/n i’m going out with taeyong today”
  • and you’re like ok i guess thats fine i mean he has other friends so??
  • but it starts happening so constantly 
  • one time you texted him saying you were bored and he answered “why” and never replied after that
  • but i mean ,,, u saw him on doyoungs snapchat story on his phone, but anyway
  • one day you’re on the phone with him and ur like “we should go to the beach tomorrow!”
  • and he’s like “i have plans with johnny tomorrow though”
  • and you hear johnny in the background going like “you do?" 
  • you ignore it bc ur starting to get fed up and ur like "then how about the day after that?”
  • and he’s like “uhhh i’ll see if i can”
  • and you’re like “your friends can come too!!!!”
  • and johnny’s like “I HEARD THAT!!!! IM DOWN!!!”
  • so yeah that leaves jaehyun with no choice
  • you’re like “ok cool see you then!”
  • so yall meet at the beach that day and all the boys are having fun and shit!!!! but jaehyuns standing as far away from you as possible
  • you’re getting really worried bc WHAT IF ITS SOMETHING YOU DID
  • so you go up to yuta and you’re like “hey is jae upset with me?” and he’s like “????? nah i don’t think so”
  • so you sit next to jaehyun who’s sitting on a blanket and ur like “jae whats up we haven’t hung out in weeks”
  • and this boy DOESNT LOOK UP FROM HIS PHONE he just nods and murmurs a “yeah”
  • and you snap bc he’s never treated you like this before
  • you grab his phone and put it down and he looks at you
  • and you’re like “did i do something wrong?!”
  • and he’s like “what are u talking about”
  • you’re like “you know exactly what i’m talking about, you’ve been avoiding me”
  • he’s like “no i haven’t what are u saying”
  • and you’re like “you’ve been sending me slow and cold replies, you always seem to be busy, you aren’t how you usually are with me and im your BEST FRIEND”
  • a hurt look flashes on his face for a split second then suddenly hes kinda mad
  • and he’s like “well y/n maybe i’ve just been busy with other things, and maybe i need a break from our 10+ years of friendship, not everything is about you!!!!”
  • you’re like ,,, really shocked that he said this bc jaehyun is a really nice and chill dude
  • you’re also really hurt that he said this and you run off to the boardwalk, leaving jaehyun and the boys
  • jaehyuns shocked he snapped at you as well 
  • the boys are shocked too and taeyong speaks up and he’s like “dude, why’d you say that if you know that isn’t why you’re avoiding them”
  • jaehyun just shakes his head and chases after you
  • you’re sitting on a lil bench where there are less people, just a couple passerby’s
  • you’re kinda just sitting there and ur about to cry bc you can’t believe jaehyun, your best friend for almost 11 years would say that to you
  • you felt as if you weren’t enough as a best friend and did something wrong
  • then jaehyun sits next to you and you’re both just staring at the ocean
  • you’re like “if you really want a break from me you could’ve just said so instead of making excuses”
  • jaehyun turns to look at you and goes “i’m sorry i didn’t mean to say that, really.”
  • u look at him and ur crying now and he brings his hands to your cheeks and wipes your tears
  • he’s like “listen y/n i’ll never get sick of your presence, i love having you by my side”
  • you’re like “then why were you avoiding me”
  • he’s like “its a really stupid reason theres no point in saying it”
  • and you playfully hit his shoulder and you’re like “just say it jae”
  • he’s like “promise you won’t laugh in my face?”
  • you’re like “promise”
  • he’s like “so i started catching feelings for you and i wanted to get rid of my feelings bc i know you don’t feel the same way and i don’t wanna make it awkward for us bc i really do love having you in my life”
  • and he’s like “no you’re lying” and you’re like “no im NOT. im just better at handling my feelings.”
  • and he’s like “well then why didn’t YOU tell me?” and you’re like “bc i was sure you didn’t like me” and he’s like “SEE we’re just the same”
  • you’re like “well now you know that i’m madly in love with my best friend???” he’s like “i guess i always loved you to i just never noticed until now" 
  • he grabs your hand and he’s like "so are we like ,,, dating now?” and you’re like “after all that, we better be”
  • so yeah now yall are officially dating
  • the guys found you on that bench and they johnny was like “JAEHYUN FINALLY DID IT!!!!!”
  • then one night when both of your families were having dinner together jaehyun was like “can i say something”
  • and your moms like “yeah ofcourse what is it”
  • and he’s like “imdatingy/n”
  • your dads like “jaehyun if you were any other guy i would’ve interrogated you for hours but you’re a good kid and i trust you”
  • then after dinner you two are cuddling on the couch again, watching another episode of buzzfeed unsolved and jaehyuns like “this is nice, i like this”
  • and you’re like “i like this too, i’m glad this happened”
  • end


anonymous asked:

A3, shiro writes out a letter of the stuff that's been eating up his brain (including, but definitely not limited to, his feelings for lance) as a way to get stress out. he addresses it to lance just bc he's a source of comfort for shiro. lance finds it bc he sees his name at the top and assumes it's for him.

It was never meant to be serious.  Shiro had just needed a format, a way to vent when his chest felt too full.  Having feelings for Lance made him feel jammed and overflowing, like there was a traffic jam in his chest.  He needed somewhere for those emotions to go, or else he was going to start leaking them everywhere.

And that was not on.

So Shiro had started to write.  It had been nice, to use physical pens and paper again, after using the Altean pads so much.

There were a bunch of them stuffed into the drawers of Shiro’s desk.  Not so many to be creepy (he hoped) but enough to keep him functional.  To help him work through the emotions and keep them to himself.  Nothing important.  A personal passtime.

It had only worked so well.  Pidge and Keith both gave him shit for his crush.  But whatever.  Shiro was working on it, and Lance remained oblivious.  That was the important thing.

Shiro wrote about everything.  Each one was addressed to Lance, just so Shiro could feel like he was getting these feelings off his chest.  So he told ‘Lance’ about how good he looked in his armor, how distractingly handsome he was when he was focused on a shot.  How Shiro found himself smiling at Lance’s jokes, even when they weren’t funny.  How his heart clenched when he turned them on yet another alien girl who turned him down.  How Shiro wanted to comfort him, to reach out and reassure him he was wanted, but how he couldn’t.

Sometimes, other emotions bled in.  Shiro wrote about his scars, how scared he was of anyone seeing them, especially Lance.  How he feared the disgust or pity they would cause.  How sometimes he didn’t fit in his own body, still feeling like he should be 50 pounds lighter and much less broad.  How he’s sorry his prosthetic would be cold and uncomfortable, nothing Lance wants around anywhere sensitive.

Venting.  Letting it to.  Putting it away in his desk where no one ever had to see it.  Shiro had ever intention of throwing them out, once he was sure no one could ever recover them.  He thought often of just sending them out an airlock, but, well, leave no trace.  Shiro was a GG officer, not with NASA, but it was a good motto anyway.

But then, the worst happened.

Then, Shiro was called away mid-sentence to speak with Allura.  In a moment of distraction, he folded it up but left it out.

That should have been enough.

But Shiro was a sentimental moron.  He wrote Lance’s name on it, just as if he was going to hand it over.  He never would.  Never wanted to.  But the familiar format was comforting in a childish way.  Like they were just young students and Shiro was thinking about passing him a note, or pushing it under his dorm room door.

Silly.  Stupid.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise when Shiro came back and found Lance standing over his desk, a familiar paper in his head.

But it was.  Painfully so.  Shiro’s heart stopped in his chest as his nightmare came to life.

He must have made some sort of noise, because Lance picked his head up and turned around.

There were tears in his eyes.  “You think this?”

“I- It’s nothing serious,” Shiro replied.  “And I won’t let it affect anything.  I promise, I will never be anything other than completely professional.  You don’t need to worry.”

Lance stared like Shiro was speaking Altean.  “But you think it?”

Swallowing hard, Shiro ducked his head.  “Yes.  I’m sorry.”

His eyes were so tightly shut he nearly missed Lance coming closer.  He looked up just in time for Lance to grab onto the front of his vest and pulled him down for a kiss.

“I think,” Lance said, tone dazed.  “We have a lot to talk about.  Can I say it, or do you want a letter too?”

“Um-” Shiro blinked, still process the fact that Lance had kissed him.

Lance watched him, then nodded.  “Speaking it is.  C’mon, let’s go to your room.”

“Did you want to see the rest?”

Lance froze, mouth open.  “There are more?”

Shit.  What the hell was wrong with him today?  “A couple,” Shiro replied, voice small.

“Yes.  Yes. I want to see them right now.  And then I’m going to tell you everything I love about you, okay?”

Wait, love?

Shiro nodded.  “Yeah.  I’d like that.”

“Good.”  Lance pulled him down for another kiss, deeper than before.  This time, Shiro managed to get his head on right and kissed him back.

It ended up taking them a while to Shiro’s room.

Lance did reach each of the letters, eyes bright with threatened tears for each word.

Then he spent the rest of the afternoon showing Shiro how right he was about Lance, and how wrong he was about himself.

[ Draw Write your OTP Meme]

anonymous asked:

Hey, just wanted to say I know how you feel about having people be weird about you liking plants, I get that all the time too. It's weird to not be yourself around close friends and family, especially if you're the one they go to to talk about whatever they're into, like double standards much???On a side note, have you been tested for ADHD because I have it and the way you think/act sounds a lot like me and it's often misdiagnosed as OCD or autism in girls/women/generally studious people.

okay lol i typed out a huge thing telling my life’s story and then was like……mmmmmmmmmm lets not so here are my Mental Health Highlights™ regarding that fun time. generally i try not to post stuff like this on this blog bc i feel like it should be For The Plonts but it also deals with how plants actually saved my life so:

-I’ve been professionally diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, ADHD, and depression. 

-OCD like?????? wrecked my life man. like it was a constant undertone in my childhood and tl;dr was a super bad time and i didn’t get properly diagnosed until i was in high school and i was like??????? oh my god it makes sense????

-started undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy for my OCD and anxiety in high school bc i was having a Hella Bad Time™

-results just in: thoughts cant hurt u and u dont have to wash your hands until they bleed and Good Numbers and Bad Numbers are just numbers, etc.


still miserable at school because i was relearning things i already learned/taught myself on the side and was frustrated and hated everything and myself 

-my ELP coach reached out to me and asked if i’d like to do a plant experiment??? she would use program money to get the equipment???

-shoutout to my ELP coach for making school worth coming to again and making homework and projects worth doing on time again bc she gave me a chance to actually do something that im interested in and express myself through science and be challenged, just not in class (*insert american public school tangent here*), literally, actually saved my life and stopped my self harming and helped my depression bc at the end of the day i got to do what i loved 

-shoutout to my environmental sustainability teacher who encouraged me and was 200% willing to use his resources to help me learn, who sought out the edge of what i had taught myself and used his college microbiology degree knowledge to teach me more and provide me with more resources instead of circling me back into the lesson and making me wade through what i already knew like all my other high school teachers did when i asked them more questions to extend on my extending on my learning

-anyway back to the ADHD thing

-so i always had some obsessive thoughts and actions from my OCD, but when I got put on my current medication thats been working SUUUPER WELL I LOVE IT, i suddenly couldn’t focus. my grades dropped. this was literally in the second half of my senior year. i was off any and all ADHD medications because of their stimulatory effect, which i learned the hard way a few years ago made my OCD compulsions 200% worse and symptoms more intense. 

-okay like. this was wild right

-my psychiatrist told me that because I was struggling with my depression, anxiety, and OCD less, my ADHD was starting to show more because my (copious) energy was no longer being bogged down by depression or eaten up by fear and compulsions. 

-that. took a little bit to get used to. like i had to change my study habits and stuff (current study set up: 1. ALWAYS study at school/in a different building because when i try to study at home/in my dorm it’s a signal that it’s time to begin winding myself down and tapering off my energy for the night, and i fall asleep 2. use white noise to drown out that Dank ADHD Hypersensitivity and Distractibility). I also am now more fidgety than i was and need more effort to focus– i control this by working out every morning to burn off some of the residual stuff so i can actually function (not yoga lol). if i dont, im hit with weird slams of writing inspiration and distractibility during the day, which are cool but then get looped into obsessive thoughts that make them hard to shake

-it just was a weird moment of realization for me because the last time I struggled with my ADHD explicitly was in early elementary school. it had been “gone” for so long that i literally thought that my parents had me diagnosed too young and it was a wrong diagnosis (i was diagnosed in kindergarden). 

-most, if not all, of my autism-like-symptoms come from my OCD and ADHD. I’ve been tested for autism, and do not have it. my hyperfocus and passion come from obsessive thoughts and stuff relating to those two disorders, and im inclined to say that my social incapabilities relate to impulsivity and oversharing related to those two disorders as well (i’ve been doing pretty well controlling those lately having gotten help for that in therapy, but…….you know……still working on it like yikes. i feel better about it after meeting some of the grown up, employed plant academics here at school, which all share some resemblance to me in social ability. ive heard rumors about the whole “academics are bad at socializing” stereotype but like……….i see it now…….these are my people………)

anonymous asked:

Hey i was wondering if you had any thoughts on the whole Icarus' pride/fall analogy for fahc Gavin that seems to have gone around a bit? If you feel like it of course!

Oh Ramsey’s perfect little frontman, all polished shine and pearly whites, mouth dripping charm like poison, like promise. How fitting to dress him up in ancient fables, a cautionary tale that has stood the test of time, how apt to deem him doomed from the start.

Is it any surprise that the people can’t stop talking about about him? Can they really be blamed when he goads them into it? When he wears vanity like the finest cloak, teases rumours out of thin air, when he seemingly lives to be in the limelight no matter the cost.

They’ve named him Icarus, like hubris. Like ill-fated glory hound. Like pretty fool with his head in the clouds. Like the fatal fall is inevitable and he has already lost. It’s funny how no one ever talks about the fact that Icarus was running, hurled into the sky to escape the fickle fancies of a cruel king, less human trying to play god than prisoner willing to risk everything for one more day in the sun. Child still naive enough to believe his father could never steer him wrong.

They call him Icarus, and it fits.

At birth he was named Gavin and as a child he’d have given anything to fly. A tyrant needs no crown and cruelty has never been limited to kings; Gavin outgrew blind faith years ago and since that day he has been running. It’s made him cautious, most would never know it now but he has always been calculated where it counted, has never needed another to build his escape route.

He’s as skittish and distrustful as an alley cat, as anyone who has ever been powerless, who is determined never to be again. He investigates every outcome, he does his math twice, and though many laugh when he sets his sights on America Gavin has always known exactly how perilous his wings are. By the time he arrives he has been reborn; all that swanky blasé confidence didn’t come naturally, was built piece by piece, fragile feather by fragile feather, stitched together with fear and need and the hardened resolve of someone who has run out of options.

They say Icarus, like hubris. Like there is any pride in desperation. Like ambition is the enemy, and chasing the brightest, purest thing you’ve ever seen is arrogant. Like that first winged boy wasn’t absolutely aware of what he was doing, like he didn’t aim upwards on purpose, didn’t swear that after a lifetime in the dark he was going to kiss the sun whether it killed him or not. Salvation or bust.

In Los Santos he is golden. Ramsey’s boy, untouchable boy, brilliant, brutal, menace. He is vital, important, he is vicious, he is streaking towards the sun blazing so brightly no one can look away, burning up right before their eyes. Gavin is higher than he’s ever been but he can’t stop now, not when death is coming from above and below and behind, not when everyone knows it’s better to go out on top. Better to choose it, to taunt it, to die laughing with the sun on your face.

He knows what the people call him, knows what they all expect, and can’t quite stop himself from laughing at them; no one ever seems to talk about the fact that Icarus didn’t die in the fall. It was neither height nor folly that that got him in the end; Icarus drowned. Blinded by hope and dropped into an environment he had no way to prepare for, dragged down with no way to help himself and no one around to save him.

For all Gavin’s many faults, real and affected alike, no one can say he is alone, not anymore. Not after he built himself a safety net out of hard eyes and loaded guns, leather jackets and bared teeth, weaving desperate affection and steadfast protection so deeply into the most ruthless crew he’d ever met that they’d drain the entire ocean before they’d let him sink.

They call him Icarus, and it fits, but they are missing half the story. Gavin built his own wings, omitting wax in favour of blood and bone, coated them in bullet casings and gold leaf so they’d catch the sunlight and blind any who tried to look too closely. Who can tell, then, if he is climbing or falling? Who can see clearly enough to know when the ocean is rushing up to greet him? Gavin who is always two steps ahead, who could talk a fish out of water, could charm gravity, who has never feared the fall. Gavin who dreamed of flying, who spent his whole life learning how to swim.

aldorgan  asked:

Do you actually think the new song could belong to jasper? because I think like many people that hte song is for lapis because you made a good point that jasper is trapped but lapis was trapped for far longer than jasper

id like to hope its jasper’s!!! but i wouldnt at all be surprised if it was someone else’s, too. obviously ive basically always got jasper on the mind, so when i saw the lyrics i immediately associated it with her and fit the lyrics into her story.

more extensive thoughts on this under the cut! (if theres any confusion, this is about the tags i put on my reblog of this post)

Keep reading

BTS as Kingsman (Taehyung)

Originally posted by donewithjeon


-It here the final one!!!!!!

-Taehyungie lets GOOOO

-So tae’s code name is tristan

-And tristan is like freaking incredible

-I mean so is tae so!!!!!!

-Tae is kind of like the one!!!!

-The ONE


-Give my boy a break!!!!!

-Anyway no

-So taehyung’s favorite weapon is just a standard pistol.

-2 pistols. Dos. not just one. He has to have one for each hand

-But his are like custom as heck

-THeyve got like extended mags bc he needs to mess everyone up IMMEDIATELY no time for reloading

-Plus hes gone and named them and put the names on the guns one of them is Lady and the other is Tramp (((((GET IT)))))

-Oh my gosh i just realized TAEHYUNG IS BASICALLY DEATH THE KID


-Moving on.

-They’re a little bigger than normal because his hand ARE BIG YOU SEE THOSE HANDS GUYS

-THEY’RE ALSO SILENCED BC he’ll dole out a whole mag in like 5 seconds if you fuck with him and that’s pretty loud

-Could idk ruin a mission or something

-But i also have this BIG hc that he’s pretty clumsy with the pistols so he REALLY needs the silencer

-Like ‘oh crap i just got scared by a bird tweeting and i just shot the gun on accident. Well i guess my covers blown’ then BLAM BLAM BANG gun sounds you know

-Taehyung has the most kills on his record and not just because of the guns but also bc he get so emotional about stuff and bad people irk him and he just goes on a RAMPAGE but he never kills innocent people SWEAR

-This has kinda gotten long maybe we should get into that actual thing you know

-Okay so tristan is on a super secret mission.

-He has infiltrated the somin cartel. He’s finally got enough information and evidence to TAKE THE CARTEL DOWN. hes been sending it all back to the other guys slowly

-But also remember tae has had to integrate himself into this freaking group so of course he has ties with some people and sure he’s let some innocent people escape but you know all part of the job.

-So one day he sECRETLY contacts kingsman and he’s like’ umm guys one week from today is the day we expose this cartel for what it is and i get out of here.’

-So yeah that’s set.


-You didnt think i was gonna let this go off without a hitch did you

-No lol im not that nice




-Somin has been suspicious of taehyung since he entered and she made sure he wasn’t up to anything bad (but good actually bc shes the bad guy here)


-o h fuvk

-So thats how he ends up in the infamous room of horror

-The morgue

-They call it that bc dead you know

-Tae has been in this room many times but he was never on the receiving end.

-Now he’s sitting in this chair with a busted lip, a black eye and what could possible be a broken nose but theyre not sure yet

-Dont get me wrong taehyung is one of THE BEST kingsman agents and yeah he could get out of this in the blink of an eye but this mission has been in the works for a year and he’s not going to risk failing

-But he also literally has no way of getting in contact with the other guys to tell them whats going on

-This was probably going to be the end but tae has come to terms with it you know

-At least maybe the mission would still be a success

-Oh my gosh imagine if this were some jason x kaneki type torture fuck that

-No,  taes torture has more like very very hard hits and extremes like forcing his hand in ice water for long periods of time, or maybe umm cigarette burns idk anything about torture im a softie

-Getting back to it

-So its time for a lil shift change and in enters YOU

-They call you THE REAPER


-Its because everytime you walk into this room you come out with a dead body and oh my gosh what has this become

-Tae is like looking down at the ground and he looks like a freaking limp noodle because he just cannot hold himself up


-You look at everyone around you and point at the door

-‘Everyone out unless you want to end up 7 feet under’

-everyONE IS OUT BC THEY WONT fuvk wiith you

-So everyone exits the room and you lock the door and nobody can see in and you crack your knuckles and walk over to tae and he’s like hopeless (where’s j hope when you need him?) at this point

-And you walk around behind him and

-‘I want to hear you scream baby’



-You probably guessed it though

-Taehyung is confuse because you’re the reaper what the fuck

-‘Wait wait what are you doing’

-‘I’m getting you out of here. I need you to scream for me. Like you’re in pain’

-He starts screaming like this boy has got some lungs so you know it sounds real

-‘I’m undercover for an organization I can’t tell you the name of but from what I’ve gathered in your time here you’re not a bad guy. I’m sure you can get out there and start a new life for yourself. ’

-Taehyung is?????? YOU. THE REAPER. ARE ALSO UNDERCOVER!!!!!

-‘Oh my god I’ve heard you’ve been here for 3 years. Have you really been undercover that long?’

-‘Less talking. We need to make this seem real. I hope you aren’t too fidget because im gonna need to get you into a body bag to get you out of here.’

-‘I’m undercover too…’

-You stop what you’re doing and look at him in disbelief

-‘How did you get yourself caught?’

-‘One of somin’s men heard me reporting back to my agency. We’re taking them down at the end of the week but now i’m thinking we have to do this a lot sooner. Do you have any way i can get in contact with them?’

-You grab your key chain and hand it over to him.

-‘The little baseball doubles as a communication device. Trace the path of the stitches with your finger and it’ll open up’

-Tae is like wtf yet again bc what. He looks at the baseball and gasps bc he’s seen this symbol before

-‘You’re a statesman?’

-You turn to face him SO FAST

-‘How do you know about us?’

-‘I’m Tristan. A kingsman agent’

-‘Nice to meet you. They call me Tequila.’

-Tae begins laughing but not like a wow this is funny laugh but more of a delusional laugh because what are the chances and he really thought he was going to die today but now he gets to live and he’s leaving this place with a BANG

-‘I have an idea’

-You look at him and ask what he’s got in mind

-‘I’m going to tell the other guys to release everything now and how about you and I give these scum of the earth hell.’

-‘I’ve been waiting to do that since i got here’

-You shake on it but taehyung has one more request

-‘Listen, I can’t get out of here but i also need my guns. I can’t do any damage without my babies.’

-‘You can use mine. I’m better with a baseball bat anyway.’ You motion over to the baseball bat on the table of weapons that could be used to torture

-‘No…I need my guns. They were confiscated when I got here. They’re labelled. Lady and Tramp. You can’t miss them’

-‘What makes you think they’re still here?’

-‘I sneak into that room to check on them every once in awhile. I was planning on leaving with them soon so I made sure they were there yesterday.’

-‘Sit down. You need to look like you’re barely hanging onto your life unless you want to get caught.’

-Tae walks over to the table of weapons and grabs a large wrench. He wipes some of his own blood on it before literally throwing it on the ground the noise is so loud that even if you just watched him do it you were still startled

-But fuck that was kind of hot????

-Are you okay?????

-He forces himself to hyperventilate as he lays down on the ground.

-After settling down in a somewhat awkward position taes breathing is very shallow and it really sounds like hes been injured

-This guy could be an actor seriously hes got the looks and he can do this shit.

-‘Okay ill be back soon’

-You walk to the door and open it up and when you walk out you leave it slightly ajar so that people looking in could see him a bit you know

-You walk into the room designated for confiscated stuff and begin looking around in the weapon section.

-You find them at the very bottom meaning hes been here for a bit longer than you thought.

-But umm how are you going to get these out of here

-You remove the extended mags and put them in your back pockets and you put lady in the back of your jeans you know what im talking about right and you cover it with your shirt and tramp goes IN YOUR BRA bc what else are bras for if not holding hidden guns you know

-You walk back to the morgue slowly to not draw attention to yourself and you close the door and lock it and youre safe and taehyung gets up and wow its time to fuck shit up

-‘Umm where are my guns?’

-You toss him the extended mags and grab lady from the back of your jeans before inspecting it

-‘This thing is huge’

-‘Thats what she said’

-You are not amused by his joke

-Anyway you hand the gun over and pull tramp out of your shirt

-Taes eyes are wide bc wo wo wow wowwwww

-You hand the gun over and tae is like umm this thing is warm oh my gosh it was against her skkin fuck thats HOT

-you and tae are a little weird okay

-‘I got in contact with the other boys. They’re releasing everything in approximately two minutes and they’ll be waiting on the west side of the building in a black vehicle. License plate number 287KMN’

-‘I’ve got a bone to pick with Somin. How about we pay her a visit?’

-‘It’s like you read my mind’

-I don’t want to say you guys busted out of that room guns a blazing but



-You walk out and suddenly manhi manhi manhi gunshots

-BUT you and taehyung are both 100% careful not to shoot anyone that is absolutely innocent in this place.

-You literally look over a taehyung for like 2 seconds and you’re like in a trance.

-This whole man is not letting up with his fury of bullets

-Its kind of like he has aim assist but he doesnt because this is real life and that isnt a thing in real life.

-He really is just pointing and shooting and hes hitting the kill spot every time

-There are men going down like bowling pins as you make your way through the halls.

-He’s not even hesitating. No matter how close or far anyone is theres going to be a bullet in them.

-He’s getting people in front of you two, behind you two, approaching from the left or from the right nobody is safe


-Since. He. got. Here


-Youre like standing outside somin’s office door and you know shes in there bc theres a lot of commotion going on in there and you figure shes very heavily protected rn


-Cue another barrage of bullets but this time its from you and its taes turn to be in a trance because you’re taking them down two at a time with ONE GUN how is that possible.

-Statesman secret apparently

-You take down the last guy in the room and now its just one lee somin.

The final target pretty much

You lift your gun and point it right at her.

-This is it

-You pull the trigger and


-No more bullets



-This was gonna be a badass moment and now its ruined.

-‘Tequila.’ you turn to face tae and he tosses you tramp before stepping forward to stand next to you.

-‘Some of the guys have a bone to pick with her too. I’m gonna do it on behalf of them’

-So now here you two are BOTH OF YOU HAVE A GUN POINTED AT SOMIN

-Somin has given up because she knows its over

-At the same exact time you both pull the trigger and somin goes down.

-Its over


-And then theres a grand escape

-Okay its not grand

-You just jump out a first floor window into a rose bush and its totally romantic and you might stare at taehyungs bruised and bloody face a little longer than you need to and he might have landed so close to you he can smell your vanilla scented shampoo and he’s completely smitten because not only can you kick ass but you look beautiful while doing it

-Wow  he’s so whipped for you already and it hasnt even been a day

-The way you handled tramp made him want to WIFE. YOU. UP.

-And the two of you just took down a drug cartel together if this isnt fate then what is

-‘Here’s your gun back’

-‘Keep it. You look good using it. Plus I have a feeling we’ll be spending a lot of time together after this.’


anonymous asked:

when the first iron man movie came out in cinemas i was like... 12? or something and i thought iron man was THE BEST and tony was sooo funny. and then... you grow up and you go into the real world and you actually meet people like tony stark i.e. people who constantly antagonise others and are assholes just for the sake of being assholes and you realise... dude's not funny, he's just a douchebag.

I had this conversation with my mum like 2 days ago because she’d asked me what I thought of Homecoming and I told her that I thought it was really interesting the way they presented The Vulture and how I personally, had he not done the murdering people thing, really would not have called him a villain, and how I think Tony’s behaviour in the last few movies has been more villainous than the actual antagonists. And like we were really discussing it and she goes “It’s surprising to me how much you dislike Tony now, because when this Marvel movie thing all started, you were such a big fan of Iron Man, I wouldn’t have expected such a change in opinion” and she’s not wrong. When I was 11 years old with no real perspective, no real world context to apply to the media I was consuming, when I took everything at face value, he was a funny dude. He was sarcastic and I, like most people, like to laugh, and his films had quips and quick wit and they were funny to me at 11 years old. 

However I’m not 11 years old anymore, I’m 20 years old, and I have travelled extensively, I have learnt so much more, I have broadened my world view, I have had my eyes opened to the reality of privilege vs oppression and the inequalities of our world, and I now know that men like Tony Stark are the men, that quite literally, get away with murder. They’re the men that are responsible for the massive inequalities in wealth across class systems. They’re the men that have grown up with everything, and don’t like to be told no, and feel they’re entitled to whatever they so desire. They’re the men that care about profit and not who suffers to get it for them. They’re the men who think it’s fine if they commit crimes because they’re rich and successful and renowned world over, so they’re never going to be punished for it. They’re the men that say and do disgusting things, but because they’re considered charming and personable, they get rewarded rather than punished. They’re the men that hurt other people but don’t get punished for it because the system wouldn’t want to ruin their life with that bad press. 

So at 20 years old, aware of the society we live in, aware of the way the world is, and aware of how popular media shapes the way we as a species interact with each other and the world at large and the way we respond to other people, I can’t sit here and say “he’s flawed! but he’s still a hero! he’s trying!” because I really do not see him as one. I don’t see a rich and powerful man with an ego so big it would need it’s own private plane, who consistently ignores the advice of others because he thinks he knows better, buys himself out of all sorts of trouble that people less well off than him would be massively punished for, resorts to violence when he feels threatened/cornered/like things aren’t going his way - I don’t see that as heroic. I see that as someone who is being pandered to, when what they actually need is to be held accountable for the amount of negative stuff they’ve done. And I think the continuous excusing of his behaviours, and the placing of him on a pedestal despite his behaviours only highlights a bigger problem in society. In that if you’re rich and popular you’re basically untouchable, and even more so if you’re white. It’s something we see all the time in real life too, the fact that Justin Bieber can do the amount of dumbass things he’s done, and treated his fans as badly as he has and yet still somehow has a career is one example. Donald Trump being the fucking president of the United States is another example on a much larger scale. 

I just can’t see him as a good guy, or even as a flawed character still worth investing in anymore, because I see enough men like Tony Stark in every aspect of my daily life. And they’re exhausting in the real world and he’s exhausting in this fictional one. 

anonymous asked:

i love noorhelm so much but i'm interested in hearing your opinion about the people who constantly bash them saying theyre unhealthy and william is abusive? yeah i'm just interested in your opinion

sure ofc!

listen everyone has the right to their own opinion and i do really feel like the way you see noorhelm and william reflect a lot on your own life experiences which is really cool in my opinion! but that being said…

i think for some reason a lot of people are being very unforgiving when it comes to william as a character. especially because they seem to have no problem giving characters like isak (who’s said and done a lot of sexist, ableist, homophobic shit in the past.. he actually kept doing it through most of his own season) room to grow and evolve but for some reason they are stuck in the past when it comes to william. which i think is super unfair. skam is a show with incredibly real characters and real relationships and to me noorhelm and william both are very real they aren’t perfect by a n y means but nothing in real life is and that’s why they appeal a lot to me.

back to william i am not excusing any of the bad shit he did that’s never been my prerogative what so ever but let’s go back to the one thing people seem to have a hard time letting go… the whole vilde thing. now don’t get me wrong i l o v e vilde i think she’s wonderful and made of sunshine and i actually want her to be the main person of season 4 more than any of the other character. but she is not innocent when it comes to her ///relationship/// with william. she never cared about william as a person. she literally only wanted to fuck him because he’s in her own words “the coolest ‘97′er” her obsession with william was nothing less than creepy and gross (if she had been a dude, after wiliam telling her no 50 million times and she still kept stalking him people would cry abuse and it would be a fair statement as well. someone saying no should be taken seriously and she didn’t do that all through season 2) so yes what william said to her in season 1 regardless of him having a “good” motive was wrong and horrible but vilde’s intentions were never good in the first place she was using him as much as he used her.

i’ve seen people saying he’s a douche to everyone and i think they watched a different show??? bc i truly never saw him being an ass to anyone other than vilde? he was kind and polite to all noora’s friends, eva’s mom, isak, eskild… literally everyone he interacted with so yeah that one i think we can debunk pretty quickly. it sounds like these people have had a shit experience with a williamesque person irl and are putting all their personal ill feelings onto him which is unfair.

then i’ve seen people saying that season 2 was bad because noora “deserves better” than the storyline she got and it goes against everything she is. which is exactly why i l o v e season 2. noora being a very put together person in season 1 always being the rational one it was incredibly fascinating to me to see her fall apart in all the good and the bad ways imaginable. we got to know her better than we ever would have if she had just been the completely same she was in season 1. the only person that could have that effect her remains william. because he’s incredibly intelligent while being the complete opposite of her as a person, so their dynamic (in my opinion) remains the most interesting of the show to this day. because it’s an explosion of emotion and feeling. everything that noora never had in her life before with her always remaining very calm and collected.

william walking away from noora at the end of season 2 in the school yard was obviously heartbreaking. but it’s like people completely forget william’s biggest insecurity. his family. like yes of course he should’ve listened to noora. yes of course he shouldn’t have walked away. but to him this was the worst thing imaginable. he didn’t want noora to even talk to his brother because he was so terrified of what would happen. i think the biggest achilles heel in noorhelm’s relationship will always be william’s insecurities when it comes to his family. in season 3 noora describes that he became obsessed with being validated by his father because he never got any validation before. that he becomes a little kid when dealing with anyone of his family members. that’s what so heartbreaking about william as a character he truly has good intentions but his judgement is always clouded when it comes to his past and his family. the only person who truly made him see his worth (and not the superficial part of his worth) was noora. but even she couldn’t save him when it comes to the missing love he never got from his parents. the reason nico went after noora wasn’t because he liked her. it was because he KNEW that it would ruin things between william and her. because he knew william’s worst insecurity all along. he had all the cards in his hands.

last but not least the whole “william is a manipulator he manipulated noora to go an a date with him” thing. again what he did was douchey as fuck. obviously he shouldn’t have played on noora’s weakness (that being always being kind to people and helping her friends no matter what) he knew that she wouldn’t be able to refuse and that was a shitty thing to do. again not excusing any of that. but this takes us back to the real part of noorhelm. they started out badly they did they had a rocky start but that’s so real to me? and i think again people are overreacting when it comes to that whole thing. it was a date. one single date. and we all know noora wanted to go anyway. he made her fucking cocoa and they just talked for an hour on a goddamn bench and he bought her a fucking blanket. after that he stopped approaching her and she was the one who couldn’t stay away from him. he just needed a night of being around her. how he approached that was wrong but… enough.

ending this… i love noorhelm. i love how he always listens to her and respects her. how she made him grow and he made her see things from different perspectives (not that her perspective was wrong in the first place but she was very stubborn and him teaching her to look out of her own mind brings a lil tear in my eye) i love how real they are they are cute but they aren’t cute all the time that’s not how anything works. i love how she calls him out for his bullshit and he never gets angry or even annoyed he just listens because he loves her so goddamn much and he thinks she’s the best thing in the whole world.

it’s fine that everyone doesn’t love noorhelm thats completely okay with me. but don’t dismiss their whole story and everything they went through especially when you have no problem letting other ships and characters grow.

anonymous asked:

Hey, so im having a debate with my friend. I have pet rats, which are a somewhat uncommon pet in my area. My rats see an exotics vet. I like to research different treatment options or possible diagnoses for their symptoms (has always been upper respiratory infections) while i wait for my appointment as it helps my anxiety. Is it rude to mention this to the vet when i take them in? As in "oh so i read online that doxycycline can be used because the baytril has not cleared this up, is that CTD 1/2

With the inquiry about whether it was rude to research what could be wrong with the rat and ask questions, the example was “is docycycline an option bc the baytril hasnt worked even with 20 days” or something along those lines. I dont want to be rude to the vet if thats rude but i dont see why it would be bc i would do the same thing at a people doctor? Their vet is an exotics vet but it still makes me less anxious to research on my own. Thanks have a great day!

It’s not an inherently rude thing to do, but like many things it could be done in a rude way.

I mean, if you’re interrupting a vet’s explanation or being huffy or deliberately confrontational then it will come across as rude. But otherwise a pet’s care is a team effort between the veterinary staff and their carers at home, so any plan making should be a discussion.

I’d be wary about researching diseases based on symptoms. It might help your anxiety right now, but you can come across a whole lot of worst case scenarios through a google search or a wiki walk, which might make everything seem much worse than it is. Once you have a solid diagnosis, I don’t see any hard with researching in your own time. Just be wary of anything that promises “Ten things your vet won’t tell you!”

So if the conversation’s civil I don’t see why researching in your own time would be an issue.

derma kaminari + trich tooru

- kaminari denki first found the term “dermatillomania” online when he was 14 years old
- he had a friend who had developed a mysterious skin issue, so he was helping them try to figure out what it could be when he stumbled upon the term dermatillomania
- he looked at the definition and looked down at his arms and just. knew.
- he was self conscious about having derma for a long while, but he has come to terms with it and only really feels bad about it all when someone mentions his scars
- and then he meets tooru.

- tooru pulls out her hair.
- she does it all the time, when stressed, when waiting, at random times throughout the day. she’s even done it in her sleep before.
- nobody sees her pulling her hair, sees the bald spots, notices that there’s anything wrong at all
- it actually makes her feel worse than if people saw, because she doesn’t know how to handle talking about it
- she thinks about it, thinks about how if people could see her they’d be constantly judging her, asking about her hair, staring at her
- it scares her to consider what it would be like, if she was visible, if people knew
- and then she meets kaminari.

- when kaminari and tooru meet, neither of them realize that the other has derma/trich, in part because kaminari can’t see tooru and tooru doesn’t even know what trich is, let alone derma
- but tooru notices kaminari’s scabs and scars, and she knows it means something, she just doesn’t know what
- and kaminari sees, sometimes, tooru’s clothed arm reaching up to her hair an awful lot, and he knows it reminds him of something, of someone, but as much as he tries he can’t make the connection
- but then one day, he’s sitting in the common room with midoriya, tooru, kirishima, and a few others and midoriya asks - “hey tooru! why don’t you make a suit out of your hair, like mirio does, instead of going without clothes in hero work? wouldn’t it be safer to have clothes?”
- tooru stops moving.
- after a few moments of nothing, she launches into anxious babbling, saying stuff like how it would need to be made entirely of her hair, and her hair doesn’t grow that fast, and a lot of other reasons that make sense, but altogether seem…off, to kaminari
- so when he cuts herself off abruptly and says “sorry i- i gotta go now”, he follows her out of the room after a few moments, motioning to midoriya that it’s okay, that he’ll talk to tooru
- when he stops her down the hallway and notices her sleeves show that her hands are in her hair again
- kaminari looks at tooru - or rather, where he can see her clothes floating - and asks “have you ever heard of trich - of trichotillomania i mean?”
- tooru says no, and that’s how everything starts.

- kaminari and tooru help each other with their derma and trich, in a. multitude of ways
- they remind each other to stop picking at scabs/pulling hair, help each other accept having derma/trich (though this is mostly kaminari helping tooru, she helps him a lot too), so on and so forth.
- eventually, inbetween their second and third years at UA, they make a blog together - @dermatrich-resources
- it’s one of the best things they’ve ever done - they both get to help people and meet others who have derma and trich as well
- and even when they grow up, become heroes, and lead very different and separate lives, even when they get more mods on their blog and become less active, they remain friends
- because no matter what happens, neither of them will ever forget what it feels like when someone tells you that - who you are is more than a disorder. and no matter what, you are not alone.

anonymous asked:

So what are your thoughts on an apple exclusive for taylor then

I think taylor’s actual album will be available to buy on physical CD and download from itunes. That’s it. 

i kind of look at it like a movie. 

Imagine the scenario you get an Oscar winning director and producer, some of the worlds best actors and you all get together once every 3-4 years to make a movie. Oh and your movies are amazing they win awards and everyone who’s anyone in the industry is like Wow. They pour their heart and soul in to the movie. Someone writes a screenplay, someone writes the score, you have your actors who vocalize the written word. You polish it, you perfect it.  

Now imagine you take that movie and you put it out into the world to share with others and for them to enjoy. Took a lot of hard work and a lot of talent and tons of time and energy. The people who did all that… should be recognized for that hard work and their talent- i mean not anyone has that talent. Your movie is one of a kind. . it’s valuable. It’s good shit. Things that are valuable shouldn’t be free. 

Now imagine the movie comes out… finally. Oh man people are stoked. and you can go to Target and buy the movie on blu-ray, or you can download the movie on itunes for $20. Hey you want to see it, so you pay for it. Or you go see it in the regular theater. One time, $12. You’re willing to pay. You want to see it and experience it. 

Then say there is a movie theater where you can buy a season pass. All the movies you want to see, $10 a month. Come as often as you like, push a button and watch any movie you want. So yeah, you’re still paying for the movie but you’re paying a lottttt less. but at least thats better than nothing. 

Then imagine this free movie theater pops up in town. They get all these investors and do a lot of marketing and people flock to their theater in droves because… iTS FREE! come watch the movie here, it’s free yall, we just have a few commercials every now and then, but they are short and you wont notice much! Oh and the free theater says, Hey we arent evil, we pay the movie people one onethousandth of a penny each time someone watches your movie, we collect money from our advertisers. But hey, when someone comes here and watches it, it still counts for “box office viewers”! that’s cool, right?! 🤔

So the really good movies, with the A-list best most talented actors and the Oscar winning directors and the highly acclaimed everything… would they put their movie in the free theater? Nah. why? The people wanna see it, they’ll pay for it. Maybe once its been out for a long while and everyone who was gonna buy it has bought it already…maybe then. But people will pay to see it, so why give it away for free. Maybe you put all your OLD movies at the free theater to hype up the people for your NEW movie and then when your NEW movie comes out, they’ll all be anticipating it hard core so they will go buy it. Hey, solid plan. Do that a few months before your new movie comes out. 

Would they put it in the $10 all you can watch theater? meh, why would they right away? Again, maybe in a while, bc at least they are making SOMETHING there, vs basically nothing at the free theater, but, again, their movie is really good, everyone’s been waiting YEARS for this movie, why not only sell it at target and on itunes and in the theater? People want to see this movie So Fing Bad! its all anyone can talk about!? so you hold off for a while. Wait til the novelty dies down then… then you put it in that all you can watch theater. 

Just my thoughts and another way to look at it. 

alright children.. gather round..its time 2 hear the story of me . ya boy @actualbrendonurie, meeting panic! at the disco.. this is gonna be long as fuck...

ok so like first off it’s terrifying standing in line, its hot as dicks and i was nervous af, when we were walking closer i  was like “whos that” and kale yelled “who the FUCK do you think it is” and of course it was Zack and he looked at me and i gave sort of a sad dying smile. When people actually starting filing in it was…intense.. we got free pepsis and got to hear their soundcheck tho (which i recorded all of). Oliver @tinybren​ was at the very beginning so he walked out when we were still waiting and he told us about it which was Scary. And when we got into the like little…house..bungalow ….thing.. they were in i’m at least 99.9% sure they kept  hearing me repeat “what the mcfuck” at least like 15 times.. Very nervous.. i also slapped myself like 30 times which didnt..help my sunburn…now moving on…

when i was the next person in line Zack was fucking around with a walker and we had A Moment. Where i’m sure he thought I was an idiot, it’s fine it’s chill.. when he waved me to go next it was like…..my heart stopped i swear….i fumbled with the presents and walked up to kenny and shook his hand but since i had the wrong hand out (holding presents with one hello) i ended up bending awkwardly and kinda fucking up but he was nice so its cool, he was like “hi i’m kenny” and i was like “hiiii my name is actually…Brendon, too” and i looked at brendon and i was shit man. like shit fuck. that boy is drop dead gorgeous i swear to god.

the first thing that popped into my head was “oh my god he’s 3D” and it felt kinda like slowmo?? bc i was just taking in his features, like we r the same height and i could see EvERYTHING, his eyes, the hat, his freckles, his smile, the nose, eyebrows, lips, everything. It was….intense… he is honestly such a beautiful dude and hes so gorgeous irl like wow shit fuck i gayed the fuck out. anyways, so i was like “my names actually brendon too” and i heard a few “woah”s from dan and dallon and kenny was like “whaaaaaaaaaaaat” and brendon made a little face and he was like “thats pretty cool!!” and we shook hands weirdly too because he put the wrong hand out too because he’s an Evil Tyrant and he smiled at me and i….i melted…like a popsicle on a hot ass sidewalk.. i just kinda like shoved my gifts at him, less violently than it sounds, and i was like “my MUM WANTED TO GET YOU STUFF TOO ITS NOT ALL FROM ME” and his face did that thing he does..you know the face…when his eyebrows scrunch together and his mouth slowly opens into the :0 shape, he did that only his eys got HUGE and he was like “holy shit” and like i gave him a hat (jat), a tie, and 2 frank vinyls and he kinda moved the stuff to see the frank vinyls and his eyes got bigger and he was like “holy shit???? thank you so much? thank your mom so much” and idk i did get the other guys stuff but i put it in the letter fjhdfjgdhj ok the letters

i had 2 letters, one from me and one from sunny @jupllter​​ and i drew…stuff…on them…fhdjhdgjdfj. I drew like 3 dat bois on mine (also wrote dem boys! at the disco because?? i hate myself) and it was on top of sunnys so it was the first he saw and he pointed at one and went completely serious and he was like “you know that’s me right?” And then broke into the biggest most beautiful bright smile and laughed and i smiled and died a lil and i was like ofc and i moved onto dallon who was Beautiful As Hell holy shit and he was like “hi im dallon james weekes” and i was like “hi i appreciate your tallness” and he smiled wider and laughed a lil and i shook dans hand and i was thinking like “WHAT DO I APPRECIATE” i almost said his drums but that wouldve sounded weird so i just shook and kinda squeaked out “hi” and stared for a minute and then traveled back to the middle and Brendon was handing the presents to Zack and he was like “honestly thank you again so much and your mom” and i was like “aaA she loves you and this is gospel so much” and he got all smiley and happy and i screamed inside

now moving onto pose….i wanted 2 propose originally and then i saw him proposing to someone and i was like Yes and its good i did bc my knees fucked up and i forgot my brace jfdkgjk so i was like “so i was WONDERING…” and he stared at me and cocked his lil puppy head to one side and was listening intensely and i died…ufk.. i mean its brendon urie come on…. anyways i was like “i would do it myself but i have a bad knee so i was wondering for the photo if you could maybe??? propose to me??” and my voice got kinda high and his eyes lit up and he nodded and he was like “oh! yeah sure! just let me get on my knees for you” …… shut up.. hdfjfgjkgj i watched him like scramble down and fix his shirt and i thought “he has a tiny lil knee” anssdsdjhfhjjdfhdjfdg and he stuck his hands up and  i just kinda…..grabbed them… NOT WEIRDLY…. i saw someone else do it and i was like “yeah sure why not” and they were soft and firm and like i’ll never forget them?? god bless america/? ive talked about how A+ his hands are before but theyre even better irl i swear to u.. i didnt look at the camera bc i was like thinking to myself “wow his hands are nice” and then i realised and turned right when jake took the pic jhsdshjfgjrjhfhsjgdn oops

so i was like kinda stumbling away and like kenny stopped me and he was like “so ur names brendon two..?” and he was holding up 2 fingers but for some reason my brain didnt process it so i thought he was asking if i was named brandon?? i dont/?? ii dont know?? and i was like frozen for a sec and he was staring and i was like “nOO haA just brendon” and then brendon peered around me and i think put his hand on my shoulder and he was all serious and confused and he was like “no no but your middle name…your middle names not the number two..right? or is it?” and then smiled and laughed and i died a squeaked out a laugh and smiled at them both and me and brendon urie made so..mcuh…eye contact…..ill never forget it…mostly because i  have an 11 minute video of me sitting on the grass repeating everything that happened like 10 times bc it was so surreal..

the concert itself was unbelievably amazing. The third time i’ve seen panic live, the first time in DOAB era. I’ve been listening to them like.. on and off for so many years, longer than i’ve actually said before bc i..ididnt fucking know when exactly hdfjfghjgfgjh…I was able to give brendon the letter that i needed to for so long, telling him why vices is so important to me and how he really does impact and help so many people.. I hope reading it helped him feel something even if it was small, whether it was like happiness or thankfulness. i just…its so weird.. i’m definitely lucky, definitely blessed, I cried for like an hour after andrews set lmAo i was emotional… kale @sunshinebrendon literally had to hold me but i was like crying into my elbow so it just looked like i was sadly dabbing…its fine..

this was definitely an experience i’ll never forget or regret.

[SCENARIO] How the Vocal Team will Propose (DK/SK)

A/N: AND HERE IT IS! How would the Vocal Team propose! This is the Dokyeom and Seungkwan edition, and they are such babes in our hearts i swear we almost died from flutter just thinking of ideas to write about what they would do. Anyways, please look out for our Jeonghan, Woozi and Joshua edition, which is coming out really soon! :)

A continuation of one of our earlier scenarios (How the Hip Hop Team will Propose). We will also be doing one for the Performance Team as well, so we hope you look forward to it!


- wooed <3
- Scooped ✌️


Originally posted by meaniengful

SYNOPSIS: I think we all know that the Vocal Team are definitely the shyer, less expressive ones (other than Seungkwan) in the group, so we can see them turning to simpler, but sweeter ways to propose to their significant others. True to themself, their proposal methods may be really cliche but it will definitely melt any girl’s heart.

Keep reading

Autistic People & Makeup

In this post, I’ve collected some of the many comments and tips I have received since this anon asked about tips for using makeup as an autistic person with sensory processing issues:

  • “I had an easier time with mineral powders than any other kind, though some are itchy and it takes some trial and error to determine which ones those are.“ - snailchimera
  • “Mineral makeup is good, lighter and less irritating, but the minerals can cause reaction in some people. Etsy sellers often list all ingredients and can help determine if their product is for you” - @thornyoak
  • “What do you want out of makeup? Do you want a high fashion, full face with contour look? Do you want a dab of color on your eyes, lips, or cheeks? Do you want something in the middle? Do you have uneven skin or acne you want to cover? There is no right answer here, it’s 100% what YOU want. Don’t feel the need to do more than is comfortable.
  • It also depends on what textures, scents, etc. bother you. I hate hate hate “greasy” textures, so a lot of moisturizing foundations and BB/CC creams are out. If you have issues with gritty or powdery textures, the opposite holds; go for cream or liquid based products. If you need to use a product that is counter to this, see the next point….
  • Go with products that are the highest quality you can afford. It is often products that are less finely milled or have a lot of “fillers” that with cause sensory issues and skin troubles. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go drop a bajillion dollars at the MAC counter; there are a lot of drugstore products that are actually quite nice.
  • Last but not least; have fun! Experiment! That is what makeup is about! And good luck :) - wolfrowan
  • “Hi I don’t know exactly what sensory issues are but it seems like you’re just talking about makeup that doesn’t feel like you’re wearing makeup? I might be wrong but I have some tips for that too!
  • Powder foundations are great, I like NYX HD Studio Photogenic powder cause it feels like nothing. It comes in translucent and I think a few tinted shades. But, if you want more coverage or if you just like liquids better, you can mix something like Argan oil (super lightweight and v cheap at beauty supply stores) in with your liquid foundation and it feels like nothing.
  • Mascara does tend to feel like something on your face but my tip for that would be to spend a few extra dollars if you can on something with more natural ingredients. My two favorite mascaras that don’t feel horrible to me are the Physicians Formula natural ones and the Shea Moisture mascaras. I can wear multiple coats of those comfortably. They don’t feel hard or heavy on your lashes. Also if you curl your lashes first, you can get away with only applying a little. Granted I don’t have this issue so others may be (and probably are) a lot more sensitive. But yeah. I hope I could help anyway :)“ - twerkcircus
  • “I’m on mobile so I cant go all out on this, but some tips I have include:
  • Finding makeup thats very lightweight and thin like lose powder foundation as opposed to liquid bc it feels like theres nothing on your skin. (I recommend bare minerals powder foundation and l'oreal loose mineral makeup)
  • Also something I did was work my way up to wearing more makeup. I started with just eyeliner and then moved to mascara and eyeshadow and lipstick and so on. (I found mascara to be the hardest.) Take your time with it.
  • The most helpful for me was that I turned my makeup into a little ritual every morning and the more I took it slow and enjoyed the application, the more I was okay with having it on my face, so now I’ve gotten to the point where most of the time I’m 100% cool with wearing a full face of makeup, but there are still days when my sensory issues act up and I choose to leave my face blank for the sake of my anxiety and thats totally chill too“ - @narwhal-noir
  • “If we’re talking application, eyeliner that is the soft crayon-style is best. There isn’t the discomfort from a pencil kind or the wetness of the liquid kind. Also for lipstick, I use a lipstick crayon as well, because it gives better control and uses less product, so it feels lighter and less sticky. I usually skip mascara if I’m having a bad sensory day, there’s not much to be done about that. Just go for super light products where your can control the application the most.” - donderdag-middag
  • “Always smell your makeup before you buy it. Go to someplace you can sample it and put it on your face or hand, and see if the smell bothers you throughout the day. It sucks to spend money on something you can’t use because the smell is too strong.“ - @labrownrecluse 
  • “Hi! Major makeup geek here and fellow aspie! Anon, what exactly are asking for when you ask for tips? Like which brands to avoid if you’ve got sensory issues? Or stuff like how to blend and do a smoky eye?“ - @matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll
  • I could never live without makeup honestly!! I don’t use eyeliner, and I can’t help with mascara because I use the brush thing that comes in the tubes, but I do need to use alternatives to the brushes that come with blush and eye shadow. There’s a few different alternatives, you can use napkins/paper towels, which come in all kinds of different textures!
  • It took me a lot of practice applying blush with paper towels because you have to first figure out what texture suits you best, and then figure out how to do it properly because it’s meant to be applied with the brush that comes with the makeup. For eye shadow, you can use paper towels/napkins, but I find it easier to use Q-tips. But if that’s not something you can handle, then go ahead and try the paper towels or napkins!
  • Something that I found that really helps with the sensory weirdness of having things touching my face (especially around the eyes) is texture stimming. I generally stand on a blanket or a piece of fabric with one of my favorite textures and curl my toes against it or twist one of my heels into it. It’s different for everyone, but this is just what I do, so it’s worth a shot! You’re welcome to come talk to me about specifics, too, since there’s probably more I failed to mention! - @blueflavoredcandy
  • My number one sensory defensive makeup tip is to wash everything off as soon as you’re done, especially mascara because for me it gets pokey. Also: Don’t use fiber mascara if you have sensitive eyes. Warm things up in your hands before applying so it doesn’t feel as weird. Try to get super soft makeup brushes; I prefer synthetic. And at the end of the day, if you’re having a bad day on Tuesday and don’t wanna wear makeup, don’t wear makeup on Tuesday. Hope I helped! hematophage

Good luck to all the autistic people who want to use makeup, I hope you found some of these tips useful!

me and @happyminyards were playing around with the idea of the aftermath of Baltimore if Neil had been so hurt he had problems playing and in case any of you were interested in that i’ve put the best parts of it into this post. don’t worry, there is a happy ending. main features: andreil and pre-kandreil/kandreil friendship. it got long so i put most of it under a cut <3

  • they don’t think he’ll ever run again but we know neil “im fine” josten, neil “stubborn af” josten. and he doesn’t give up. he does the most amount of physical therapy that one person can do and he works at it until the specialists are optimistic.
  • he doesn’t tell anyone but abby bc this is neil we’re talking about. he doesn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. eventually he can think about playing again and its then that he drags andrew to the court alone.
  • andrew thinks neil must be in the middle of some kind of weird breakdown bc neil is just all over the place, legs bouncing up and down with nerves. andrew is cautious (maybe he found him at the stadium sometimes, when neil had hobbled his way over somehow. found him sitting in the middle of the court, crutches a few feet away, shaking and staring at the goal posts).
  • but andrew also notices that neil isn’t limping as much as he used to, bc andrew notices EVERYTHING about neil. so he goes along with it.
  • anyway they get to the court and neil sits in the car for a few seconds before throwing the door open and stalking to the gate and into the locker room. when andrew comes after him he just goes and opens andrew’s locker, basically throwing his helmet at him before he vanishes to the room where all the spare gear and racquets are stored. 
  • and now andrew is really suspicious, but he trusts neil, right? neil wouldn’t risk doing anything to compromise his progress, right? so he gets geared up
  • he goes on the court and there’s neil with his racquet and he doesn’t have his gear on, just his sweatpants and minyard 03 hoodie, but there’s a bucket of practice balls in front of him. and theres something in andrew’s chest that feels like hope. 
  • “abby says i should try” neil is quiet and nervous and andrew wants to kiss him but he doesn’t. not yet. they set up and neil takes shots at the goal, running back and forth. the first time he scores a goal past andrew? thats when they kiss. they have a congratulatory makeout session right there and then tbh. 
  • they do this for a few weeks. aaron is on kevin duty and kevin is barred from the court on specific nights at specific times. he assumes it’s some kind of sex thing. he isn’t…. completely wrong lmao. 
  • eventually neil is good enough that he can show the rest of the foxes that he can play again. good enough that he can show kevin

Keep reading

taikoturtle replied to your post


Okay who asks out who first and what’s their first date like??


  • so lena had planned on the gala being their first date like one hundred thousand percent planned for it
    • like……..pot stickers??????  at a gala??????  ok lena, calm ur gay ass down
  • but when mon-el/mike/bane of my existence jumped in my girl backtracked HARD like “what omg youre my only friend and i totally meant everything i just said in a pal way and not in a gal pal way what who’s gay 4 kara danvers not me thats for sure” and swallowed her Gay Frustration with the Lip Bite™ 
  • and so after her first attempt at asking out one (1) kara danvers failed spectacularly (as she told her therapist later in the week, stretched out on the couch with an arm thrown over her eyes, mostly hiding her blush (”Lena, do you have a crush?”  “………ANYWAY”)) lena went back to the drawing board and figured that maybe something more casual and markedly less dangerous would be a good idea. 
  • so!  she does a little digging 
    • or, more accurately, has her assistant do a little digging bc apparently international investors don’t give a shit that she’s trying to impress a pretty girl 
  • but she finds out kara’s favorite restaurant and while there’s a part of her that’s like i grew up filthy rich and like to make my shitty parents angry by blowing the family fortune on treating pretty girls and buying expensive cars there’s more of her that likes kara best when she’s relaxed and open and she’s sure an extravagant dinner would probably result in a lot of adorable, yet frustrating fluster  
  • now lena luthor is nothing if not prepared, so her plans are in place, she’s prepped, she’s ready, she’s got this (and a good dose of self-confidence that borders on arrogance at times that’s v handy for fighting off the gripping fear she has bc kara actually is her only friend, really, and if this is wrong or she fucks up somehow, she’s kind of scared to lose her??)
  • but then kara just……just fucking beats her to it
  • they’ve started getting lunch a couple times a week (more accurately, kara brings her lunch bc lena has a habit of working through the meal and then dinner after it and not eating until far too late)
    • (not that kara’s been keeping tabs on her.  or taking the long way home in order to fly past the L-Corp building or looping back to see if lena made it home safely.  what.  dont look at her)
  • anyway so they’ve been eating together pretty regularly and so lena’s not super surprised to hear her office door open and then look up to see kara there, grinning and holding an obscene amount of takeout in her arms (most of which, lena’s learned by now, is kara’s)
    • she asked her about it, just to see her squirm a little (because seriously???  ofc lena knows abt supergirl.  she figured it out abt twenty minutes after meeting her)
      • “where do you put it all?”
      • “OH uh um i work out, like, a lot” and kara’s like beet red
  • ANYWAY they end up on the couch, facing each other and talking and laughing and kara manages to inhale most of the food while lena’s still working her way through her fried rice and there’s a lull in the conversation and lena’s just about to say something when kara’s phone buzzes and she frowns when she looks at the message, heaving a sigh as she tucks it away in her purse once again.  and lena cant let that go so she asks and then kara’s off in a mini-rant about her older sister being such a jerk and making fun of her for being a wimp about not just kiss–
    • thats as far as kara gets before she turns red and slaps her hand over her mouth
      • (lena’s pretty sure she knows where this is going)
  • lena puts her food down and shuffles closer until they’re pressed against each other and she leans in and asks if she can kiss kara and kara, lil dork that she is, is still blushing so much and she squeaks out a yes and they kiss and its like OH GOD WOW
    • when lena pulls away, kara looks remarkably more put together than lena feels at the moment, all lipstick smudged and hair a mess.  but then kara’s grinning and asking her to dinner and then it’s lena’s turn to blush a lil


  • first date, attempt 1: cancelled due to alien alex getting food poisoning
  • first date, attempt 2: cancelled due to alien alex having a ‘rough time’
  • first date, attempt 3: cancelled due to alien alex having girl problems
  • first date, attempt 4: cancelled due to alien alex spraining her ankle
  • first date, attempt 5: cancelled due to alien alex flooded her apartment
    • “kara you cant keep using me as your only excuse, she’ll think i’m falling apart or something and i need to be able to intimidate her use WINN FOR GODS SAKE”
  • first date, attempt 6: cancelled due to someone else trying to assassinate lena, literally right as she’s about to meet kara, but supergirl saves her (lena tries v v hard to keep her mouth shut abt how this is a perfect first date, really) (kara’s flying her back to her apartment and lena doesn’t have a taste for shocking superheroes so much that they accidentally drop you into the bustling city traffic below)
  • first date, attempt 7: kara texts lena right at the end of her workday (though she knows lena would be planning on working much longer) and asks if she wants to come over for dinner and a movie and lena sends back an affirmative answer literally immediately and tells her assistant to push all her meetings to later in the week.  she shows up at kara’s dressed casually (or, like, casually for Lena Luthor, Lesbian Billionaire CEO) and kara’s already ordered food in and then they’re just sitting, side by side and lena reaches over to grab kara’s hand and then kara’s lacing their fingers and then it’s a competition (albeit one that ends with lena in kara’s lap and kara’s hands on lena’s hips, waist, thighs and lena’s got one hand tangled in kara’s hair and did you know that kara likes getting her hair pulled??  lena didnt but good god she does now)
    • and lisTEN lena is not complaining in the slightest bc this new position gives her a lil leverage on kara and do you know how defined her biceps are????  illegally so
      • its just that usually it’s lena that ends up with a lapful of pretty girl so she’s a lil thrown off balance and by a little i mean she is literally thrown off balance and almost tumbles to the floor and kara catches her but, in the process, ends up falling back, bringing lena with her and then they’re giggling and then full on laughing and lena drops her forehead against kara’s shoulder and then kara’s righting them, and the mood is effectively broken but its nice just to curl up against kara and finish the movie, feel how warm she is against lena, how solid and safe
        • thats sort of when lena knows she’s fucked

anonymous asked:

Guang-Hong, Emil and Phichit having a crush on s/o and someone calls them out on it.

This would be my worst nightmare tbh. Also, I find my headcanons drag on for so long, so there’s more under the cut!

-Okay, but Guang-Hong is super obvious when it comes to crushes, I shit you not
-He smiles a lot, and blushes so much you probably think red is his natural color
-He gets! So! Happy! When! You’re! Here!
-You probably think Guang-Hong is just a regular ball of sunshine well u aint wrong
-Everyone knows about it
-The fucking i c e knows
-A lot of people push him to confess to you!!! Like boi, do it nOW
-Guang-Hong always just responds, “I will, I’m just waiting for the perfect moment!!”
-boi what do u think this is, a movie?? 
-No one belives there’s gonna be the perfect moment, shit like that doesn’t happen will nilly, you gotta ACT brah
-So, while he’s at practice, you drop in to say hi
-!!! omg!!! it’s yOU!! he skates right to the edge of the rink in a spray of ice, grinning from ear to ear
-The others just share glances, like “here we go again”
-”Y/N! It’s so good to see you, I’m-”
-He fuckin f r e e z es midway towards you and his smile is g o n e
-the world has come to a standstill and he thinks his heart has stopped
-His hands are shaking, and he looks like he might cry
-At this, you immediately notice, and despite not wearing any skates, you try and make your way towards him
-Of course, you slip and fall, but you do your best to skoot your way, but your butt is starting to get cold
-Guang-Hong notices you scooting ridiculously towards him and even though he’s teary-eyed, he makes his way to you, worried you’ll get sick, and starts helping you up
-”I’m sorry,” He chokes out, “I wanted to tell you at the perfect time. It’s ruined now.”
-Now you get pissed at the guy who spoke up, and you start yelling, lots of times just sayin “FUCKIN F IGHT ME SHITLORD” that guy has like, fuckin left brah
-This makes Guang-Hong giggle, and laugh, and as he sniffles, he hugs you
-”Thank you.” He says, “It’s okay. Could… Could I have your answer?”
-You tell him, and he’s got the biggest smile you;ve ever seen on his face.
-It’s like the sun itself

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi, so I started an extreme diet where I'm not allowed to eat anything for a week. Only water is allowed. I did it for two days but now on the third day, I gave up. It's only 12:03 am and I had eggs with avocado, then pancakes with a lot of Nutella and jam and after that chocolate and mentos. I feel like throwing up. I couldn't control myself and now everything was for nothing. I hate myself so so so so much. Two days of suffering destroyed by one stupid mistake. I feel so sick of myself.

this message made me so incredibly sad you have no idea. i wish you could see how much harm you’re doing to your body i just want to give you a hug oh gosh please take this advice on board and please never treat your body like you have done in the past two days ever again i know its so hard to stop those demons screaming at you not to eat but you’ve got to you’ve just got to. surviving on only water is so unbelievably unhealthy and you’re damaging your body more than you know. the fact that you’ve eaten today is a response to your body screaming out for food and nutrients that it needs to survive.

you need to seek professional help. thats the bottom line. depriving your body in this way is not normal and this obsession should not be in your life. trust me when i say i know what you’re going through .. i thought losing weight would make me happy and ‘perfect’ and it was a way of coping. but i lost my period for over a year and was so ill, i still am ill because of it. i regret not getting help sooner because it would have made recovery so much easier. you must speak to a parent, a friend, a teacher about it and see your doctor who can perhaps help you see a specialist. you don’t want this to get out of hand any more than it has because its clearly affecting your physical health and mental. SKINNY DOES NOT EQUAL HAPPINESS. i’m 100000 times happier now than i was when i weighed 25lbs less because i’m choosing to give myself happiness and a future.

“Weight loss does not make people happy. Or peaceful. Being thin does not address the emptiness that has no shape or weight or name. Even a wildly successful diet is a colossal failure because inside the new body is the same sinking heart”.

if you continue to starve yourself on this diet and think that becoming skinny is more important than being alive sure you might lose weight but you will lose your period like i have, maybe for good, your hair will fall out in clumps, your body will ache, it will take you a lot of energy to complete the most basic of tasks like climb the stairs, your heart and organs will slowly shut down and you will have chest pains, you might collapse or faint, tiny hairs will grow over your body, you will permanently be freezing cold inside and out, your fingers and skin will turn grey and blue, yet you still may never see yourself as ‘thin enough’

having a period means your body is healthy, your body wants to be alive and well it fights for you all the time and by being at a healthy weight you’re allowing it to meet its potential.

you are not disgusting and neither is your body, its simply demanding what you’re depriving it of. don’t starve yourself. fill yourself up with balanced and healthy foods and you wont have such an urge to binge on all the sugars and carbs that your brain is telling you you have to eat. adore your body. its going through hell and back for you so nourish it and happiness will come with that

wonderful, wonderful things happen when you stop hating your body for what it is not and you start adoring it for how it is. here is some food for thought..

‘Refer to your body as a landscape, for a landscape that has peaks and troughs and imperfections is natural, and yet still beautiful. So is your body.’

'1. Your body is in flux for the rest of your life. Think of your body as fluid instead of static — it’s always going to change. So get comfortable with those changes.
2. No one will love you or not love you because of your body. You are lovable because you’re you, not because your body looks a certain way.
3. The most intensely personal relationship you’ll ever have is with your body. It’s a lifelong relationship that’s well worth investing in and nurturing the same way you would with loved ones.
4. You don’t owe your body to anyone. Not sexually, not aesthetically. Your body is yours. Period.
5. What someone else says about your body says more about them than it does about you. Look past the actual snark to the person who’s saying it, because it’s only a reflection of what they think of themselves. That’s when you’ll see how little power their words have.
6. Your body is not a reflection of your character. It’s a physical home for the complex and wondrous and unique being that is you.
7. Take up as much space as you want. You don’t have to be small, or quiet, or docile, regardless of your physical size.
8. Everything you need to accept your body is already inside you. There’s no book, or diet, or workout routine or external affirmation that you need to feel good about your body right now.
9. Your body is a priority. It’s always trying to tell you things. Taking the time to listen to is of the utmost importance.
10. Wear whatever you want. Your body shape does not dictate your personal style, and fashion rules that say otherwise are wrong. Dress yourself in a way that makes you feel happy and confident and beautiful, because guess what? You are.’

i guess most importantly is that you don’t HAVE to feel like this, you can only change how you perceive yourself and how you treat your body if YOU want to. reading quotes and wishing won’t fix this, you have to work at body loving/positivity/self love every day but its worth it, its so so worth it, use your power of thought to change your attitude and your life, if you have the energy to spend time hating your body and starving yourself you can use that to love your body, nourish yourself , exercise healthily and be the person you want to be. I hope so much that i’ve possibly helped just a fraction bc this issue is so so important to me after stuff i’ve experienced.