i like to live in delusion

anonymous asked:

If you could see any of the mangas you've cleaned turned into a live action or anime, which one would you pick & why? :3

Nice question!

I’m not that much into real people, I prefer animated people ^^
So it would be anime for me and number 1 would be Hidoku Shinaide of course ^^ Or Elektel Delusion. Or Honto Yajuu!!!!!! Or Yondaime Ooyamato Tatsuyuki!!!!!!!! Or Rutta to Kodama omg.
I need to stop xD
But please at least smut scenes like in OVA’s and not like in Junjou or Sekaiichi, that would be nice. Ohhhh like in Hyperventilation!!! hnghh 
(I would be happy with shonen ai too tho ^^)

But to be honest, I would be completely fine if they would do it like the animations of Minori no te by Renta. You can find them with english subs at the @fatedfujoshisblog 
That way we would have the beauty of the mangaka’s drawings but even better ^^

And why… Well they all have beautiful stories with wonderful characters. There should be so much more yaoi out there when it comes to anime. Like legit and official yaoi. The mangaka deserve it, we deserve it and gay romance should be as common as straight romance in the anime world. 


EDIT: Omg I’m so sorry, you said OUR Manga!

Well Hidoku and Elektel stay ^^
Yarichin Bitch Bu would be nice too. 


FUTURE AU Headcanon(s): KuroKen, OiWa & BokuAka

A series of short skits with Future AU theme about my OTPs, born out of my delusions tender loving care for the babies ~ tee hee (⊙ヮ⊙) I imagine the third years are rooming up for college, some separated but still occasionally hanging out like the old days, living together, fighting together and being lovey dovey with their partners ~ (•⊙ω⊙•)

Part 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 4.5 I


Did I make snow?
Did you make snow? Well, if you choose to believe you made snow, then you get to live the rest of your life believing that you can do things that are impossible. Or you can believe it’s a delusion.
No, see, delusions feel real, okay? That’s why it’s a delusion. None of this feels real. It feels like a dream. 
                                           What a beautiful, beautiful thing to be able to dream when you’re not asleep.

my smoke,
your trip,
we’re both faded and gone.

while we sit in silence,
it’s like we’re talking to each other.
is your heart beating as fast as mine?

i’m sad,
you’re scared,
this is just a mess.

you see shadows,
i lost mine.
do you see my shadows dancing in the pale moonlight?

i’m alive,
on a high,
living on the soul delusion of time.

you’re here,
next to me,
with a mouth that’s cotton dry.

we’re both dead inside,
living on the reality of love and hurt.
will you still love me even if i’m sober?

Why can’t I kin/id outside my race if I am white?

Because race is an integral part of a person’s identity, especially if they are nonwhite. It influences each and every aspect of their life.

By saying you’re kin with/ID as a character who is a person of color when you are white yourself, you are implying that you can separate characters from their race, that all our lived experiences and struggles that come with being a particular race can be dismissed as immaterial without changing who we are. This is racist. You are erasing our experiences with race and appropriating our identity without ever having to experience all the pain that comes with it.

The “it’s racist to kin outside your race” thing was started by white people pretending to be Japanese.

Believe it or not, we are capable of finding things racist, independent of white influence. Further, this argument is utterly nonsensical - how is white people fucking up while pretending to be Japanese somehow license for more white people to continue to do so?

My friend is a person of color and they told me it’s okay to kin outside my race.

First of all, you need to stop using your nonwhite friends to defend yourself against accusations of racism. You are essentially using a restyled version of the “I have nonwhite friends, I can’t be racist” argument.

Secondly, you have no way of knowing whether your friend actually thinks it’s okay or whether they are merely afraid of calling you out because they worry that you will either not listen to them, accuse them of overreacting or cut them off.

Finally, just because your token friend of color has sanctioned your racism doesn’t make it any less racist.

I’m a person of color and I don’t think it’s bad for white people to kin outside their race.

People of color are not a monolith. You’re entitled to your opinion. That doesn’t change the fact that other nonwhite people are being harmed by this sort of racist behavior.

What if I call them synpaths instead of kins?

No. Doing so is making no change in your racist behavior; it is merely using a change in terms to attempt to placate those who have called you out.

What if I’ve put up a disclaimer on my kin/id page saying that I don’t claim the race of the character I kin with/id as?

That is simply insulting. You are basically saying “you don’t see color”, implying that the race of the character is immaterial and easily separable from the character. It is not.

What about reincarnation kin?

They still claim to be the nonwhite character. This is inexcusable regardless of how you try to explain it away. You cannot claim a character’s experiences as “your past lives” when their past lives have experience with racism you cannot possibly understand.

I am not hurting anyone by being kin/id outside my race, it’s a simple coping mechanism!

You coping mechanisms are not beyond reproach just because you’re mentally ill, especially when they function at the expense of marginalized people.

You are in fact hurting people of color -especially those of us who are mentally ill and use kin to cope. This is compounded by the fact that we are doubly marginalized by racism and ableism and are thus more likely to go undiagnosed/misdiagnosed/have poor access to mental health care. We already have extremely limited representation in media, and it is entitled of you to lay claim to what few characters we have to, when there are countless white characters you have to chose from.

In addition, those of you going by nonwhite names - like white anime kins - add to the racism by claiming names that nonwhite (in this case Asian) people are discriminated for - in education and employment. It is beyond entitled for you as a white person to claim names from cultures when they’ve been stripped from us by white society.

I am delusional/psychotic and I cannot help my kins, asking me to do so is ableist.

Before you call us ableist, consider that white people are not the only ones who deal with mental illness. Then imagine what it is like to live with intersecting marginalization of racism and ableism, especially when there are people like you who blatantly abuse their white privilege.

If your delusions actively harm others, you cannot continue to excuse them. If you are capable of recognizing your behavior as delusional, you have the ability to make efforts towards changing your behavior. We say this as people who are delusional ourselves. It is not easy, but fighting racism was never going to be easy to begin with.

What can I do to change?

Stop going by ethnic kin names. Take the characters off your kin page. Try to distance yourself from the character. Focus on other kins - as a white person, you’re guaranteed to have - or find - plenty of others.

As for the future, you cannot help which characters you get kin feelings for, but you can help what you do with them. You can also educate yourself to rid yourself of the subconscious idea that race is a separable trait from our experiences, so you eventually see nonwhite characters as off limits.

I don’t care about this/I’m going to continue to kin outside my race.

Then please do not pretend to care about racism. It’s extremely exhausting and disheartening for us to broach this subject with white people who claim to be allies, only to have them continue with their behavior and shut us out because they care about maintaining their image as Good Whites than they do about actually changing their racist behavior. You cannot claim to be an ally when you are only anti-racist as long as it’s convenient/doesn’t require you to change your behavior.

Listening to some girls gossip in the booth behind them...
  • ENFP: There's a quote that suddenly comes to mind. "Great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about things, small minds talk about other people."
  • INTJ: I was just thinking the same thing.
  • ENFP: It brings up some questions that we're sitting here talking about them, though. Are we small minds because we're talking about them talking about other people?
  • INTJ: I was just wondering that too.
  • ENFP: It's a conundrum. Are there varying degrees to our minds being great, average, and small? Can you be small minded in some ways, and great minded in others? Are there people who reach small minded extremes in which talking about them becomes okay without us being small minded as well? Are we still great minded because we are discussing this idea at length, or are we average minded because we're also discussing the fact that they seem small minded? I mean, we're assuming they're small minded because we're listening to them gossiping about other people, but we're talking about them doing it. We honestly have no other information about them to make this assumption, they could all be geniuses and we wouldn't know it. Or are we just people, and perhaps we all do this sort of thing all the time because it's simply human nature, and ultimately we are all great and small minded to some degree?
  • INTJ: Probably that last one.
  • ENFP: Are you sure, or are we lying to ourselves because we know that we're likely no different than those girls at all and we just don't want to admit it and would rather live in the delusion that we're better than them?
  • INTJ: Honestly, I just want to eat my food.

Okay, so no ‘official’ Wednesday post, but here’s the beginning of a Raven!Neil fic. It would be cleaned up more and probably added to (not sure I’m happy with the Andrew part) and there’s lots more for the Neil part, it’s only a snippet of that, but you get a feel for the set-up/premise here. It’s maybe a little different?


Wymack pulled up to the Fox Tower and gave a bleary-eyed Kevin a sympathetic look. “Hernandez said he’d work on the kid, would talk to him some more on Monday. I’m not giving up, either.”

Andrew scoffed at that, because he was more than a little familiar with lost causes and Josten? Among many other things, that kid had ‘lost cause’ written all over him, along with ‘trouble’ and ‘rabbit’ and ‘better off forgotten’. He hadn’t missed how the kid had looked at Kevin, the expression almost one of hunger, and he was oh so pleased that the kid had turned down the mighty Day even if it had meant that he’d flown out to Arizona and back for nothing more than seeing a certain arrogant coward shot down.

Keep reading

If anything, people should be offended about the fact Rose was used as a plot device for heteronormativity as a means to distract blind readers from the gayness between Scorbus. She appears only for that reason alone. It’s insulting to the character. She doesn’t have her own storyline. I do not like Rose because of the way she treats Scorpius and thinks nicknaming him will erase her wrongdoings. She stands in the way of a real and meaningful relationship that should have gone canon to the full extent. Instead of having two gay characters together who are deeply in love with each other, we have to see a straight couple live in delusion without a foundation and build up. That’s the queerbaiting of Cursed Child.

anonymous asked:

How would you want Camren to come out as a couple? Like with a picture or interview or movie or? You've probably thought about this a lot haha (I did)

I’d like a full length movie titled “Camren : from delusion to reality” - the film will contain interviews of the girls in which Lauren and Camila will talk about the struggle of being closeted artists and couple in the music industry, but also their coming out stories and how eventually they decided to live their truth despite having the odds against them - Dinah, Normani and Ally will also talk about keeping the secret to protect the girls, laughing about times they couldn’t keep their poker face *insert mistletoe incident* - interviews of their families as well, saying how proud they are. I want all of that edited nicely with unseen footage and photos of Camren, plus a little bit of LGBTQA+ background history to add a little depth, interviews and comments from the fans telling how much it means to them to have that kind of representation. Also a nice soundtrack with that (5H, The 1975, Coldplay…). It may or may not end with a small footage of their wedding (not to much cause Lauren likes her privacy). Yeah that would be nice, I’d buy the dvd.

anonymous asked:

I'm addicted to your blog, can you write about tsuna , mukuro and hibari's reaction when they had vongola torture their s/o for info because they thought s/o is a spy that is giving another famiglia infos about vongola , but turns out the spy was someone else


admin adelheid


“Jyuudaime,” Tsuna remained where he was, standing in front of Giotto’s portrait as he held the engagement ring he had wanted to give you tonight on your fifth anniversary in his fingers. “They’re ready. Your orders?”

He had to do it. He had no other choice.

One of his men had his sixteen year old daughter raped and blinded; she’ll never be the same again.

One had even had his parents dismembered and their pieces hung in their family home. No one has heard him speak since.

Another of his men had now lost his mind alongside his dead wife who had been pregnant with their child. Shot in the head after being tortured into losing the baby. He didn’t even know she was pregnant.

All three of them now surrounded him. Eyeing him expectantly, their eyes begging him to give them their justice.

All because you had leaked Vongola’s secrets to an enemy. An enemy whose days were now about to end.

Tsuna turned away from the portrait and sat down on the chair facing his three victimized subordinates and the rest of the high ranking members of the Vongola’s inner council. All his Guardians were there too.

Gokudera looked angrier than usual. Yamamoto kept throwing him concerned glances. Mukuro had his arms crossed and glaring at him while although Hibari seemed cool his eyes flashed in irritation. Ryohei was restless, he could barely stand still. Lambo was surprisingly awake, tiny flashes of lightning running back and forth from his eyes and his hair in his angry frustration and Chrome could barely hide the fact that she wanted to cry behind her mask of neutrality.

Even the individual portraits of Giotto’s Guardians seem to be eyeing the assembly with disapproval.

None of his Guardians wanted this but the Famiglia was everything. The Famiglia wanted blood. The Famiglia came first.

And Tsuna was the one they expected to deliver. “Do it.”

He barely heard his right hand man give the quiet affirmative through his earpiece.

And then the screaming started.

Tsuna resolved to remain stoic the entire time. It was a testament to Reborn’s training that his face didn’t even twitch when he heard you scream his name. He was well aware what kind of torture you were going through right now, it had been a part of his training, after all. He had undergone some of them himself from the few times he had fucked up and ended up weakened enough to be taken prisoner back when he was still a wet behind the ears fool.

The hot pokers. The knives through the hand. The flaying… He had seen it all.

The members of the Vongola’s inner council were all indifferent, as indifferent looking as their Boss himself. But the man that had gone insane laughed a few times quite maniacally as he demanded more blood from you, more screaming even as tears dribbled down his chin. The man whose parents had been murdered flinched and twitched in his seat a few times while the man whose daughter was raped stared at the carpet; the skin around his mouth and the knuckles on his fists white.

Tsuna’s face remained unruffled and solemn. Like an undisturbed surface of a pool as your pained cries and begging and denials echoed throughout the sealed chamber that was the Vongola’s portrait room.

Suddenly there was a commotion out in the halls.

Tsuna didn’t move even though everyone else was turned towards the doors and the noise beyond it. It was as though he were in another world where no one could ever touch him.

Suddenly the doors were flung open. A half burned man came in with a handgun wrestled from one of the shocked guards outside. The smell of his burnt flesh and the gasoline used to accelerate it pungent in the closed space. It made several of the occupant’s gag but this man remained unbothered. His now deformed eyes furiously turned with murderous intent on the man whose parents had been dismembered.


And then there was pandemonium and everything went to hell.

Gokudera screaming into his earpiece to stop your torture, Ryohei running out of the room to where you are, Chrome calling for other Sun users and medics to attend to this burned man and the remaining Guardians, fire and ice blazing in their eyes stalking towards the accused man who was now backing away from them all in terror. He knew he was not going to die easily.

The Vongola’s inner circle members all started muttering nervously, their indifferent facades breaking into a string of unintelligible mumbles as they all shot their Decimo fearful looks.

But Tsuna merely rose from his seat, regal as a king; calm as spring rain. He walked out of the room without even glancing back at the people left in it. Everyone he met along the winding corridor towards his room bowed their heads to him but he did not even acknowledge their existence. As soon as he reached the bedroom that still held your clothes, your scent and the remainder of your essence, he locked the door behind him.

And then he fell on his knees, curled up on the floor sobbing into the hands that still cradled your engagement ring.


“Mukuro-sama, please―”


“I’m begging you, please! Just give me a little more time! I know she’s innocent; give me a chance to prove it!”

He turned back to Chrome with an incredulous expression on his face before he sneered. “Are you out of your mind, Nagi?! Even after we’ve seen the evidence?! Her entire squad gave her away!”

“They’re lying! Please! Hibari-san is investigating this himself. Just a little while longer!”

Mukuro laughed sadistically and patted his former protégé fondly on the head despite her desperate countenance. “My cute Chrome, have you forgotten that I am a master of lies? I think I would be more than be able to tell if she’s lying to me or not.”

Frustrated, Chrome grabbed onto Mukuro’s shirt and looked into his eyes angrily. “You’re blinded! You care about her! That’s why you’re so ready to think the worst of her! You’ve always been like this! The more you care about people the more you push them away!”

Enough.” He replied through gritted teeth as their eyes met in a battle of wills. “It’s too late, I have already surrendered her to the interrogators yesterday they should be done with her by now if they know what they’re doing. What is done is done. I don’t need anyone’s sympathy. Not from God, not from anyone and especially not from you.”

Mukuro left Chrome in the corridor, ignoring her calls as he stormed into the room where they held you down. It wasn’t just Chrome, though. In the past few days when your loyalty had started to come into question the Guardians had been torn about the entire discovery of your duplicity. This was not the first fight he had with his female counterpart about the matter. And although no one else said anything Mukuro had noticed them all walk on eggshells around him.

Ridiculous. Did they really think he was so attached that his judgment would be impaired by his feelings for you? Mukuro was used to be the liar not the one being lied to. And you having managed such an atrocity was a professional blow to him. He ignored the part of his soul that was burning in agony at the thought of you in pain.

He entered the basement that doubled as a dungeon. The dark, metallic scented stains on the wall a litany to the long history of suffering this place has borne witness to. He was allowed in the room you were being kept in without anyone batting an eyelash.

“Mukuro-sama! Forgive us. We didn’t know you were coming!”

Mukuro ignored the man and looked down at you, your body torn and battered and barely even breathing. But when you heard his voice you did your best to look up and meet his eyes. Mukuro was treated to your swollen face and your broken teeth. His mind almost exploded from the fury even as he fought the sting that suddenly filmed his eyes.

How dare you look up at him with such confusion in your gaze? How dare you look so beautiful despite all this blood? How dare you still wear his ring? How dare his heart clench at the sight of you?

“What has she told you?”

“Nothing, sir,” one of the people in charge of your ‘questioning’ replied, uneasy at the sparking emotions in the male Mist Guardian’s eyes. Everybody knew enough to know not to cross Rokudo Mukuro when he was like this. Most people knew not to approach him at all. “She denied everything. She’s… very well trained.”

“Leave us.”

He didn’t even bother to look as one by one the Vongola’s interrogators left the room. Mukuro couldn’t help but snort at the incompetency of these fools. He had offered to interrogate her himself but Tsunayoshi refused, telling him he was too close to the matter. Mukuro thought it was ridiculous. Tsunayoshi was just being kind. But he never had any kindness to spare for the people who betray him.

“I don’t really care about the crimes you’re accused of,” he began, his voice smooth and hard like a sharp, tempered knife. “I don’t care how many people you’ve killed or how many rules you’ve broken.”

You tried to open your mouth but they must have damaged your throat. All that made it out of your mouth was a high pitched string of sound.

Mukuro’s eyes were pitiless as he kept on meeting your eyes. “But you made me believe you loved me and because of that I gave you all of me. You made me live my own delusions all this time. I was actually foolish enough to think we could have a family. I believed you, damn it! For that, I will never forgive you.”

You tried to move your broken arms, reaching for his shoes as though wanting to beg and make him listen. Tears mixing with the blood on your face as though comforting him in his hour of pain. As though still trying to make him believe your lies. It was more than Mukuro could bear. All he wanted to do was pick you up and keep you safe. He wanted to hold you close and run away with you.

How could he still be so in love with you?

“Make her talk. Do everything you can to make her tell you who else has betrayed us to the enemy!” he ordered to the startled men who had been waiting outside.

Blindly he fled from the room, casting an illusion on himself to make himself invisible. He didn’t care if he bumped into anyone else along the way leaving people confused and frightened left and right. Rushing he went straight into the closest men’s room he could find and lost all strength in front of the mirror as he leaned on a sink. As soon as he saw his reflection he began to laugh through his sobs.

It seems Tsunayoshi was right all along. Since when did the little Decimo know him better than he knew himself?

Suddenly the men’s room opened and in came three men Mukuro had recognized all too well. They were members of your squad. They made it passed him straight to the urinals without acknowledging his presence reminding Mukuro that he was still invisible.

“I heard Mukuro gave her up yesterday.”

“Serves her right,” one of them, your second-in-command answered as they did their business. “She almost found out we were the ones selling all that info away.”

“Shhh! Are you out of your mind?! What if someone heard?!”

“Yeah, yeah. Still, I would have loved to see her face one more time just to see what expression she’d make if she found out the info we keep selling are the ones we keep on overhearing her talk about with Mukuro over the phone. Talk about a pair of total idiots.”

Mukuro was in too much of a shock to move. Even after they left his legs had turned into too much jelly to follow them. His will had weakened so much he let go of the illusion around himself.

He remembered your face just now. All the blood, all the tears, all the broken bones. He remembered the sound you made while he spoke to you so coldly. Worst of all he remembered the words that he had spat at your head and the fact that he had ordered people to deal you more pain.

His insides turned into water as he threw up in the lavatory sink.


“Are you sure you want to be here for this, Hibari?”

Kyoya said nothing. He didn’t move, he didn’t speak and no one in the room could even tell if he was even breathing. He merely stared right back at you as you sat clamped on that chair with the wires connected to the switch which would be the source of your suffering.

The room he and Tsuna were in and the room where you were being kept was divided by a glass wall and afforded you a chance to see each other. It was like a gruesome parody of a play’s front row seat.

You stared right back at him. He could see the fine trembling of your hands you were trying so desperately to hide even through the glass. He could see the faint traces of fear in your gaze. He could almost taste the guilt in your breath. He had always known you like the back of his hand…

Or at least that was what he thought.

Until the evidence he had gathered himself about the security leak in the Vongola led him to you.

All the deaths, all the money and territory that the Guardians were now sent out to regain were lost under his watch. Because he couldn’t keep himself from loving a traitor…

His clenched hands twitched at the memory and his mind desperately called for calm. Anger and betrayal swelled in his chest until it threatened to choke him. His pride lay tattered on the ground and you were the one who stepped on it and made it bleed. His eyes flashed violently and it even grew colder as your gaze broke under the indifferent violence of his gaze and your eyes settled on his feet. A further sign of your guilt.

“Hibari?” Tsuna called again.

The Don had not met his Cloud’s eyes since he entered the room. Hibari had known the brunette long enough to understand that he would rather have kept you as bait to lure out all the other rats and be patient but Kyoya had been too wounded, too hurt, too disgusted by the idea that he had been sleeping with the enemy. It was not in his nature to lie. He was not the damn Pineapple-head. And you were not just another woman he was keeping around just to sleep with. He had wanted to marry you, damn it. He had harbored you and your younger brother under his own roof and taken you away from poverty. He had never thought for even a second that you would betray him. He had given his entire self into your keeping and you gifted him with your false loyalty. You had the temerity to pretend that you loved him. Even now, as you sat there facing the judging eyes of his Family you still had the gall to wear his ring.

And the sight of it felt like claws digging into his heart.

“Why is that thing still wearing that?” he asked coldly, fury thick in the hoarse growl replacing his usually smooth monotone. His voice ruined by breaking his own rule of not overly imbibing any alcoholic beverage to the point of losing his self-control.

“It was the only thing she refused to take off, Kyo-san,” Kusakabe answered quietly, bowing behind his Boss. “She said we would have to cut her finger off before she surrendered it.”

Kyoya sneered even as his eyes stung at the memory of your promise the night he gave you that ring.

That you would never take it off until the day you died.

Only the truly brave would have noted out loud how the Cloud Guardian’s lips trembled or how his eyes shone brighter with the sheen of unshed tears. He hated this. He was no longer in control.

He can’t do this anymore.

“Begin.” Kyoya commanded harshly.

Tsuna nodded slowly at his side and reluctantly flicked his fingers towards the interrogators with the casual ease of a man who was used to dispensing immense power.

One of them obediently nodded and flipped the seemingly innocent looking switch.

And then your screaming started.

Your torturers were professionals, of course. They knew just when to stop the electrical current flowing through your body just before you lost consciousness. Each time they stopped they cajoled you. They threatened you. They verbally defecated you.

And all the while Kyoya stood beside Tsuna looking as outwardly calm as his Boss as he watched drool pour out of your mouth. As your eyes rolled towards the back of your head and your body tear itself up in agony. He kept a neutral face even as each scream tore at him like a storm of knives.

Through your pain he was reminded by a distant memory. A promise he made to you when he was still trying to convince you to be his.

That he would never allow you to be hurt by anything. Not even by his own hand.

His sense of honor screamed in agony with you.

He could hear the accusations and the demands from your torturers.

It lasted for hours.

But you said nothing. Admitted nothing. Denied nothing.

All you did was scream.

And seeing you in agony was more than Kyoya could take.

As your electrocution was stopped so as to give your torturers another opportunity to pepper you again with questions, the door to the room was suddenly opened and both Kyoya and Tsuna looked at the new arrival with studied expressions of disinterest.

Until the man threw a familiar young man at Kyoya’s feet.

“Dino,” Tsuna frowned at his older brother figure and the half dead young man on the floor. “What is this?”

“You were looking for a traitor right?” Dino replied, his grim eyes taking on your battered form still clamped by wires on the other side of the glass. Drool dripping from your mouth and eyes already on the edge of madness. “I thought there was something fishy about the way her brother was going around chumming with a group of boys his age who were notorious for committing petty crimes last time I came to visit. I had him followed for a few days now. Looks like his buddies were using him to steal information from you, Kyoya. He didn’t even know what he was doing. Apparently when he found out his sister was taken away for being the spy he put two and two together and he confronted them himself to get them to turn themselves in and save his sister. When I got to him he was already beaten up bloody.”

“Does this mean she knew? The reason she’s not talking is because she was protecting her brother?” Tsuna frowned at Dino’s nod and his eyes gleamed in the dim room. “You sure, Dino?”

Dino nodded grimly and pursed his lips in regret as he looked back at the shell of the person Kyoya loved so very much. “I’m sorry. I’m too late.”

A cold numbness spread through Kyoya’s entire body. It rushed and froze his blood from the tips of his fingers to the back of his head as a violent mix of fury, hate, fear, guilt and madness threatened to consume his soul.

He barely registered Tsuna ordering you and your younger brother be attended by a medical team immediately, the Cloud Guardian couldn’t even make himself look at your battered self. He was afraid. For the first time in a long time he feared looking back and face what may just be his biggest regret.

Both Tsuna and Dino could only resign themselves when they saw the crazed look in the eyes of the Cerberus of Namimori.

“Who?” the Cloud-user snarled coldly, practically frothing at the mouth.

Dino told him the Famiglia’s name and Kyoya strode out, Kusakabe already handing him his tonfas with a bowed head and violently gleaming eyes.

“Kyoya,” Tsuna had to ask. He needed to know where he was going to send people to clean after his Cloud Guardian later, after all. “What are you planning to do?”

The maniacal grin on Hibari Kyoya’s face would haunt the nightmares of many after that day as he gave his Don an answer.

“To war.”

anonymous asked:

Super sad head-canon. All of Damian's happy memories of his mother were manufactured or self-delusion. Like he vaguely remembers a lullaby or being rocked in her arms, but really they were some of his kinder caretakers. He convinced himself it was Talia to justify his love and loyalty for her to others. Tim found some old footage of Damian's childhood and discovered the deviations from what Damian has reluctantly told Dick about his past. Bruce tries to keep the truth from Damian.

I wonder if Dick would know it’s not real as well. Like, from the few times he’s seen Talia after Damian came into their lives, might’ve asked her about it. ‘What happened to the woman who would sing Damian lullabies when he was a baby? What happened to that Talia.’ And Talia’s honestly confused and is like, ‘I never did such a thing.’ And so Dick just…kept that knowledge to himself. 

Bruce would probably keep it secret out of some sort of guilt. Like, yes Talia has done some terrible things, hurting Damian included, but - he still loves her, deep down, somewhere. Still always hopes and thinks about the best of her. But for none of those stories Damian believes to be real, AND to have him as a father - that kid deserves to believe the lie. Just that one. Let him have that hope. That tiny little hope that his parents aren’t actually the worst. He deserves that. He deserves better than that of course, but - he deserves that, at least. 

Poor kiddo. 

anonymous asked:

i keep fuckin thinking about kent parson's rookie year in vegas. like he's 18 and just went first in the draft and jack's in fucking rehab and. does he know he's been dumped at this point, or is he still trying to call jack every day thinking he might get through this time and everything will be ok again? is he living on his own in a way too empty condo or is he billeting with an older teammate that he doesn't know and trying to pretend like he's totally ok even though he's way out of his depth

Oh my God I have so many feelings and zero answers for you I’m so sorry.

Well, maybe some answers, but to be honest a lot of these things change for me depending on the particulars of the narrative I happen to be telling. 

Some thoughts:

I think Kent definitely knows Jack is rejecting him, but he’s also entirely convinced it’s temporary. I think his emotional IQ is high enough to realize Jack is pretty obviously saying “I don’t want you and I wasn’t in love with you” and that’s probably compounded by Kent’s mental illness(es); he’s pretty terrified of abandonment so like, it’s ridiculously damn easy to see that in what happens when Jack won’t talk to him in rehab (because, uh, it’s kinda true tbh, whether or not you think Jack was right to cut Kent out of his life). BUT Kent is also convinced Jack is his One True Love. His delusion isn’t that Jack didn’t leave, it’s that Jack won’t stay gone and Kent can get him back. The strategy for accomplishing this is what changes the most.

If the Aces management let Kent buy a condo by himself and live there alone I will personally rip a fabric through space and time and crawl into the universe these people live in and strangle them myself. From what I understand, most teams push rookies pretty heavily to at least live with each other, if not someone older who won’t let them eat nothing but ketchup straight from the bottle for three days because they forgot groceries. Unless specified otherwise w/in a fic, my personal headcanon is that Kent lived with Jeff Troy his rookie year and tried very hard to not cry loud enough at night for Jeff and his girlfriend to hear.

Kent Parson vs. alcohol also changes depending on what story I happen to be telling haha, but more often than not I see him drinking pretty heavily as both a coping mechanism and part of his I Am Totally Super Normal and Fine routine. Does anyone see through it? Maybe like, a couple of guys. Jeff, definitely, because he’s perceptive and I also headcanon him with my OFC who takes one look at Kent Parson and kill bill sirens go off in her head about his mental health, and literally kicks Jeff in the ass to talk to this scared child. 

Overall, rookie year is Not a Good Year no matter how you slice it, but I do think Kent had what I’ve heard described as a “pocket of functioning” which is still being really fucking good at hockey. We know from N’s timeline that the Aces won a Cup while Jack was still coaching pee wee, which means either Kent’s rookie year or the year after he basically lead the team to a Cup. So I think that probably makes it even less likely anyone important noticed what was wrong because hey, the kid’s young and in over his head and dumb but we brought him here to play hockey and he sure plays some fucking hockey, eh?

So uh…idk if you sent me this ask because you wanted to hear me ramble semi-coherently about KVP but here you go I guess? haha

anonymous asked:

ok I just found out that Shawn (mendes) actually unfollowed all the girls when camila left expect from Lauren? I don't know why but I find that kinda weird. Why go through each girl like ally,mani and Dinah but decide not to unfollow Lauren?? This may mean nothing but my delusion self ofcource thinks otherwise. I think him and camila actually have a real friendship and talk about their lives and maybe...👀u see where I'm going with this??

maybe 🤔🤔

anonymous asked:

I don't get were people get the whole orih/ine is the soul kings daughter or is related to him somehow. Where? Did I miss something? Not only that but how exactly would that help ih? Let's assume it was right, she's a princess, so what? Do they not know what would happen to her if she was the only living relative to the sk, she'd probably be his replacement and guess that that means rip ih, your princess is now frozen in time forever.

Well IH are always like that no? They completely live in their delusions that have nothing to do with the manga, this is just one of the many example that shows how they don’t care about the things and facts that are actually in the real manga but have this manga/fanfiction called Bleeeach were Oriiiihime is the daughter of the Soul/KIng, the princess with the godly powers that couldn’t even heal this soul king, or stop the big bad boss Yhwach her brother (LOL) when he got serious because her godly shileld couldn’t work, was called mere human and useless by this same god, this crazy god loved to call Ichi/go and Ishi/da his sons but never mentioned how Oriiiihime was his daughter, or sister, or mother, or the goddess they claim her to be. 

In this manga/fanfiction called Bleeeach she is Unohana/HIkifune/the soul king daughter, a goddeess, a princess, she can blow up the universe but she is also just a little normal 15 year old human so it’s normal when she begs a dead man to tasukete her!!!! Which is the most romantic thing that could ever happen in a manga. in this manga/fanfiction called Bleeeach Ichigo was always in love with Oriiiihime, blushed everytime he was with her, worshipped her, always thought of her, worried for her and wanted to protect only her, Oriiihime is the one that changed his world, she gives him strenght and is the only one that can cheer him up when no one else can, she is the white-sun to his black-moon, she is the rain but also the sun, when she was kidnapped do you rememebr a whole Black page we got when Ichi/go thought everything was lost after she was taken away? Do you remember the rain? Do you remember how many times he thought of her? Oh god I could go on, this is too funny but anon the point is, no anon you didn’t miss anything, they are simply talking about another manga


The delusion you’re trying to cure is called Christmas. 

It’s the crazy notion that the longest, coldest, darkest nights can be the warmest and brightest. 

Yeah, and when we all agree to support each other in that insanity, something even crazier happens. 

It becomes true. 

Works every year. Like clockwork.

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Merry Happy, everyone! I hope your lives are warm and bright. ♥︎