i like to hit the (hot) sauce

I’m gonna grill up some brats. I got a microbrew chilling in my wet bar, and I was gonna warm up some ziti. Why don’t you come by if you got some, uh, triple-fried pizza dough or some kind of frozen meatballs or whatever it is? You can warm it up in my microwave, or you can warm it up back at home, bring it over piping hot. But if you want to bring over a vegetable medley, a crudités, figure out how much lunchmeat you can spare. Maybe bring over a pound and a half, two pounds of black forest ham, maybe a dijon-mustard spread. Any kind of dessert. Maybe a german chocolate cake or something like that. I tell you what would make you a big hit with the dudes is get some key lime pie a la mode. I’m talking about ice cream on the side. And you have got to have a bite of my homemade ziti. I’m just gonna warm her up. She’s been in the freeze. You know what I love are those hot mozzarella sticks. Cube ‘em up, put 'em in some marinara sauce. You have them on standby. 'Course, you can’t go wrong with some sour cream and onion, so long as you bring ridged chips.

On the normalisation of child abuse under the guise of “discipline/punishment”

(tw for child abuse mentions)

I’m taking a psychology course and there are class forums with prompts to respond to and discuss. Our most recent prompt was on the topic of punishing children and whether or not we thought it was right. And let me tell, you. It was downright alarming what so many of my peers said.

“I grew up being hit by my parents. I’ll be doing the same to my kids.”

“Physical punishment for kids is a must. They don’t learn any other way.”

“I’ve never personally seen or heard real stories of children suffering long-term affects of being punished. Therefore, I’m very skeptical of all these ‘studies’ proving it.”

Those are just a few of the responses from the forum– there were over 50, a good 90% of those being similar to the above 3.

Now, I’m not at all claiming that any and all punishment for children who’ve done something wrong is a no-go. But, it’s incredibly important– absolutely vital– to mention that nowhere in the prompt did it specify that the punishment we were discussing was physical. Every single one of my peers that responded, immediately saw the word “punishment” and equated it with inflicting pain. Most of them mentioned something along the lines of “well I never experienced trauma from it so it must not be real” or “well i turned out fine harhar”.

By this point, you can probably guess that my stance on the matter is that you should never, ever hit a child. There are several reasons for this, many stemming from my own experience. My father used to force hot sauce down my throat until I vomitted and hit me so hard when I was a toddler that I now have vision issues.

To my mom, he always said “You think I won’t be disciplining MY child like my father did with me? You have another thing comming. Look at me, I turned out fine!”

“Fine”.

My dad was violent, verbally abusive, and physically abusive. He started drinking when he was 12 and started smoking a pack of cigs a day when he was 13. He cheated on my mom so much that I probably have siblings I don’t know about.

That was “Turning out fine”.

My mom eventually kicked him out it got so bad, thank god. I can’t imagine the damage that would’ve been done if he had been around longer. Every single time someone raises their voice, walks with the slightest aggression, stomps, slams anything, or lifts their hand above their head, regardless of context, I flinch. I have bouts of panic and accelerated anxiety. It’s been well over 10 years since he passed away, even more since he was kicked out, and I still have these issues. I likely will for my entire life. And there are children who have it worse than I did. It could’ve been worse for me had he stuck around. All in the name of “discipline”.

Punishment should be equal to the offense. Hitting a child, who likely hasn’t fully developed a sense of what’s right and wrong, allowed and not allowed, is cruel and abusive. You aren’t teaching that child anything but fear for authority (Fear and respect are not synonyms) and to inflict pain when someone does something they don’t like.

Punishment and discipline should not be violent.

It doesn’t matter if you think you “turned out fine”. If you think hurting a child is acceptable for any reason, you are not “fine”.

Purposefully causing your child physical pain is abuse. Whether you want to believe it or not, “punishment” that is violent is abuse. Don’t mask your anger issues under the guise of “discipline”. If you can’t control your temper enough to explain to a child how & why they are in the wrong, don’t fucking have kids. Because kids mess up– They’re human beings.

You may be their guardian, but they’re their own people. As their guardian, it’s your responsibility to help them grow into healthy adults. Having symptoms of PTSD from childhood “punishments” is not healthy.

Violent punishment is far too normalised. When we try to have discussions of certain forms of “punishment” being abusive, it’s truly baffling how many people dismiss these claims or mock them. These same people more often than not follow a multi-generational pattern: well this is how my parents did it, so I’ll do it too, because this must be the only way to teach a child!

This pattern needs to be broken. There is a clear and defined line between abusing and desciplining a child, and apparently society needs a comprehensive refresher on this.

My Personal Top 11

 just realistically (as of episode 5), in no particular order

1. Park Jihoon // versatile dancer // clearly talented but his vocals could use more practice // spicy just like hot sauce // mY jiHOOnie

2. Kang Daniel // well-rounded // 60cm shouldered sorry sorry daddy // rapper but he can hit his notes  // hArrY pote yo 

3. Takada Kenta // underrated asf // be mine fancam slayed me // mnet please let him be seen more // いただきます (itadakimasu)

4. Ahn Hyeongseop // impressive stage charisma (10 out of 10) // D to A real quick // cutie pie // sees a ghost and throws a chair

5. Kim Jaehwan // i feel theres a serious lack of good vocals in this show // guitar playing genius // voice of an angel // 미칠 것만 같아 

6. Kim Samuel // i dont think hes overrated, he clearly lives up to the idol standards // dancing is amazing // vocals are pretty good // someone give him a nickname pls

7. Ong Seongwoo // dancing king (imo) // centre for sorry sorry had me ded // pop n lock the world yo // visuals undeniably on point // the scream

8. Kim Jonghyun // well rounded in every aspect // national international leader // patient and kind // wartortle 

9. Noh Taehyun // krumping god // expressions on point // decent vocals // mnet pls acknowledge his talent and give him love

10. Yoon Jisung // extremely charismatic // Ö // stable vocals // daring expressions

11. Park Woojin // because final 11 needs more rappers yo // i thought he was a quiet person // but his 10 out of 10 rap had me shOOK // dancing and choreography skills are FIRE // stan talent pls mnet

Honorable Mentions:

- Hong Eunki

- Lee Woojin

- Park Woodam

- Ha Sungwoon

- Bae Jinyoung

- Yu Seonho


this is just my personal opinion on people i stan and think are just about good enough to be in final 11. i took into account not just talent (singing, dancing, rap etc.) but also stage/real life charisma that i think is important to have as an idol. i personally feel this as an overall group would do better due to the members being more talented as compared to many leading trainees whom i feel are severely lacking and are leading only due to their good looks (eg cube kids, kwon hyunbin etc). i fear that korean fans are sadly looking more at looks than talent. 

anonymous asked:

Can we see a softspoken MC that doesnt curse, suddenly angrily yelling some violent curse word and RFA reacting to it?

I like this request a lot because I can relate to it! I don’t usually curse so I apologize if the parts where MC swears don’t make sense. But thank you for the request and I hope that you enjoy!! ^^


Yoosung

  • Yoosung adored how sweet and innocent you always acted around him
  • He thought that you were like an angel sent from above, you were the purest person he’s ever met
  • That is until one day he was showing you how to cook a certain meal
  • You carefully stirred the sauce that was simmering on the stove with concentration until Yoosung called your name, startling you
  • Your hand hit off of the hot stove, causing you to clutch your tender hand as you shouted
  • “Stupid ass stove! I burned my damned hand owww make this shit feel better Yoosung!”
  • Instead of helping, Yoosung stood with his mouth open, shocked at your violent outburst
  • “What happened to my innocent little MC?!”
  • You shushed Yoosung and made him grab you some medicine and bandages, this poor boy was still so confused
  • Once all bandaged up, you apologized to Yoosung for your outburst and he apologized for being so shocked
  • The two of you continued to apologize back and forth all night long until Yoosung finally accepted your apology
  • Yoosung started to make sure that he kept his precious girlfriend as happy as possible because you were scary when you swore and he rather have you happy anyways

Zen

  • Zen had always thought of you as his perfect angel of a girlfriend
  • You were always so sweet, considerate, and sometimes even a little shy and he loved every part of you
  • One day you were meeting up with Zen after his rehearsals when you saw your perfect man strut over to you
  • A small crowd had formed, you assumed they were his fans, but one of them called Zen a horrible actor and that he should quit acting
  • Zen has dealt with plenty of hateful comments in the past so he just brushed it off but you weren’t having it
  • You glared at the rude person and went to Zen’s side as you told the person off
  • “What the hell gives you any right to talk about Zen that way? You’re just a stupid jackass who doesn’t know shit about acting!”
  • Everyone, including Zen, stared at you in shock as you spat in the direction of the rude person and dragged Zen to the car
  • You started to apologize for your sudden outburst but Zen stopped you with a kiss
  • “I love seeing my little MC swearing sometimes, you were so cute!”
  • You didn’t really understand how you could be cute while swearing but you thanked Zen anyway
  • Zen meanwhile made a mental note to try and get you to swear more because it became a huge turn-on for him

Jaehee

  • Jaehee always found your shy and soft spoken side adorable and pleasing
  • She loved seeing how calm and almost pure you acted, it was relaxing for her to see you so relaxed
  • One day you were driving the two of you to the mall for a much needed girl’s day
  • Traffic was awful and you felt yourself starting to get frustrated but Jaehee calmed you down
  • Until one driver swerved in front of you, almost causing an accident as he sped away
  • You threw your hands up and ran them through your hair as you continued to stay stuck in traffic
  • “That stupid asshat thinks that he can do whatever he wants! This traffic is shit and that bastard had to make it even worse!”
  • Your sudden outburst startled Jaehee, she didn’t say anything to you for a while but when she did, she admired you
  • “MC… that was so cool. Your always able to control your temper for so long but your outburst showed me that even someone as calm as you can be angry.”
  • You didn’t really understand what made Jaehee so impressed by your anger but you went with it
  • That day you stood a little bit taller because praise from Jaehee is basically the best thing ever

Jumin

  • Jumin was surprised to see you so soft spoken when he first met you
  • But he didn’t mind, he fell in love with you over the messenger and nothing would change that
  • One day Jumin decided to take you to his office building to show you where he worked
  • You couldn’t help but notice the employees stare and whisper to each other, you had a feeling that they thought that Jumin was like his father bringing a new woman in
  • Jumin didn’t seem to notice, he kept his arm around your shoulder and happily guided you to his office
  • He instructed you to wait while he talked to one of his employees and you stood quietly by his office door
  • A couple of employees passed by you, loudly saying that you were just another gold digger except this time, Jumin brought you in instead of his father
  • You sweetly smiled at the employees before you let all hell break loose
  • “Listen here bitches, I’m not a damn gold digger so shut the hell up and leave me alone.”
  • Jumin walked back just in time to hear you and fire his employees who dared to call you names
  • “I’m so incredibly sorry for my employees, MC. But I’m more surprised about your outburst, it was quite uncharacteristic if you but I liked it.”
  • You were grateful that he didn’t judge you for your vulgar words and apologized for your sudden outburst
  • With an understanding nod, Jumin reassured you that he wanted you to always be yourself around him because he loved every part about you, angry or happy

Seven

  • Seven enjoyed having someone quiet and calm like you to counter his crazy personality
  • Your gentleness helped him calm down but he wanted you to be able to express yourself
  • One day, Seven was tired of working so he pushed himself away from his work desk and grabbed two pillows
  • You yelped as Seven smacked your chest with a pillow, declaring a pillow fight
  • The two of you chased each other around the house, laughing and being carefree
  • All was going well until you were chasing Seven and ended up stubbing your toe on the kitchen table
  • You dropped your pillow and grabbed your throbbing toe, whining in pain
  • “Owww this stupid ass table! Shit, shit, shit Seven why do you own such a hard table?!”
  • Instead of coming to your aid, Seven laughed, he couldn’t believe that his innocent girlfriend could use such vulgar language
  • “I’ll make sure to buy a softer table, MC. But I like hearing you curse, swear some more!”
  • You groaned in annoyance as Seven kept bugging you and trying to get you to swear more
  • It was a new side of you that Seven loved, plus he just found the whole idea of you cursing hilarious

anonymous asked:

This can be headcanons or a scenario or whatever you want and for however many paladins you want! What is their favorite part of their s/o being pregnant? Do they like talking to the bump? Taking pics every day to watch their belly grow? Doting on their s/o? Your writing is so amazing!!

thanks babe!! this is a really cute ask and i’m sorry i took so long to get to it alkdjga

Lance

  • takes a photo every day until you give birth!
  • he has a whole instagram dedicated to your progress, including sweet pictures of you doing everyday things like cooking or stretching
  • “look at babe, working so hard!”
  • his favorite part about you being pregnant is just knowing that he helped make that? he’s pretty young when you get pregnant but he is so excited to be a good dad
  • jumps the gun and starts thinking about more children before this one even gets here
  • he thinks you’re super gorgeous, even moreso than before and he doesn’t know why??
  • he helps you with your stretches by motivating you with healthy foods that coincide with your cravings

Keith

  • you get pregnant sometime when keith is 20 years old, and he doesn’t know what to do, which makes him super protective
  • like he channels his doubt into being your protector
  • lifts everything heavier than five pounds for you and hushes you if you try to take it back
  • loves rubbing your belly, which really helps when you’re experiencing some pain down there
  • you’ll probably moan a lot and someone will walk in like ‘wtf??’ but he’s just rubbing you down to relieve all your aches lol
  • he dotes on you by telling you how brave you are and what a good job you’re doing, taking on all these tasks that are so much harder now
  • talks to the baby sometimes, stuff like ‘i hope you grow up strong. i promise you’ll have both your parents here for you, always. i’ll protect you.”

Hunk

  • cries when he finds out you’re pregnant, but that’s a given! you’ve been trying for a while, and it finally happened!
  • is notorious for sneaking you junk food in the middle of the night
  • knows when your cravings hit and when he has to have a six pack of twinkies smothered in hot sauce ready for you
  • he doesn’t have a favorite part about you being pregnant, but enjoys it when people see you together and inquire about the baby
  • doesn’t let you slack off on your exercise!! with all the junk food he’s feeding you, you definitely need something to combat that
  • falls asleep with his hand on your stomach most of the time
  • tracks your trimesters and throws you a celebration after each

Shiro

  • you’re still defending the universe when you get pregnant; it’s a complete accident
  • spends the first few weeks stressing himself to death, thinking about how dangerous the situation is
  • but eventually he gives in and becomes the doting father figure who greets you and your belly as soon as he gets back from wherever
  • spends a lot of time picking out a room in the castle and baby proofing it for when you pop
  • his favorite part about you being pregnant is knowing that his child is in there and this is probably the greatest thing he will ever contribute to
  • you have a lot of sex while you’re pregnant. don’t ask me why–it just happens.
  • rubs your belly randomly while doing menial tasks just to reassure himself
pd101 boys as boyfriends pt.6

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

lee gunmin

  • i love him??
  • sweet voice sings u to sleep
  • if ur sad, he’ll pull out all the balls in the house that u can throw at him while he sings
  • would probably take a hit for you during dodgeball
  • sorry i love his pr video so much okay
  • ur mom is probably more in love with him than u

son dongmyeong

  • likes to pull u into a dance
  • if you two are at a party, y’all be dancing on the dance floor all night long
  • such a lovely person like he’ll randomly put hat on ur head white y’all are out shopping and be all like “oh this is cute!”
  • is loved by ur mom and aunts and cousins literally everyone

lee insoo

  • the type of relationship where you two prank each other a lot
  • puts extra hot sauce in ur burrito and records you eating it
  • wraps his arm around your shoulders while walking and kissing ur temple
  • if he doesn’t know what to get you for ur birthday, he’ll probably give you a plant
  • but he researched what that plant means so he has a good reason why he got you that plant

lee seokyu

  • likes to lay his head on ur shoulder
  • going to the movie theater and sneaking into ask many movies you can hold hands the whole time
  • one milkshake two straws <3
  • takes really good candids

choi seunghyeok

  • so tol
  • if ur small he looks at u so lovingly and find everything u do cute
  • if ur tol like him, he will still look at u lovingly
  • so soft spoken that he seems submissive but this boy knows what he wants
  • so boyfriend material i cant

kim jaehwan

  • i forgot about him but i made a long post on him already but still he needs to be in this series
  • buys you a drink at the theaters and insists he’s not that thirsty
  • but he ends up drinking ur drink anyways
  • sits on a chair by the window playing his guitar
  • two personalities: calm song-bird vs greasy try-hard with hyena laugh
  • introduces u to his parents bc he’s so proud of u<3
Lemonade Starters

Pray You Catch Me.

  • ‘ you can taste the dishonesty. ’
  • ‘ even that’s a test. ’
  • ‘ i pray you catch me. ’
  • ‘ when it’s only in my memory it don’t hit me quite the same. ’
  • ‘ maybe it’s a cause for concern. ’
  • ‘ what are you doing my love? ’

Hold Up.

  • ‘ hold up, they don’t love you like i love you ’
  • ‘ slow down. ’
  • ‘ back up. ’
  • ‘ step down. ’
  • ‘ there’s no other man above you. ’
  • ‘ what a wicked way to treat the girl that loves you. ’
  • ‘ something don’t feel right. ’
  • ‘ i’m not too perfect to ever feel this worthless. ’
  • ‘ how did it come to down to this? ’
  • ‘ i don’t wanna lose my pride, but i’mma fuck me up a bitch ’
  • ‘ i kept it sexy. ’
  • ‘ i kept it fun. ’
  • ‘ there’s something that i’m missing, maybe my head for one. ’
  • ‘ what’s worse looking jealous or crazy? ’
  • ‘ i’d rather be crazy. ’
  • ‘ they had you labeled as a king. ’
  • ‘ still out there movin’ it in them streets. ’
  • ‘ never had the baddest woman in the game up in your sheets. ’
  • ‘ would they be down to ride? no. ’
  • ‘ you know we were made for each other. ’
  • ‘ you let this good love go to waste ’
  • ‘ what’s up? ’

Don’t Hurt Yourself.

  • ‘ don’t hurt yourself. ’
  • ‘ who the fuck do you think i is? ’
  • ‘ you ain’t married to no average bitch, boy. ’
  • ‘ keep your money, i got my own. ’
  • ‘ bad motherfucker. ’
  • ‘ god complex. ’
  • ‘ you can’t recreate her. ’
  • ‘ we just got to let it be. ’
  • ‘ when you hurt me, you hurt yourself. ’
  • ‘ i am a dragon breathing fire. ’
  • ‘ i’m the lion. ’
  • ‘ i know you’re lying. ’
  • ‘ you ain’t trying hard enough. ’
  • ‘ you ain’t loving hard enough. ’
  • ‘ i realized i’m just too much for you. ’
  • ‘ this is your final warning. ’
  • ‘ if you try this shit again you’re gonna lose your wife.’ 

Sorry.

  • ‘ sorry, I ain’t sorry. ’
  • ‘ i’m not picking up. ’
  • ‘ i don’t give a fuck, chucking my deuces up. ’
  • ‘ i’m not thinking about you. ’
  • ‘ middle fingers up, put them hands high. ’
  • ‘ tell him, boy bye. ’
  • ‘ now you want to say you’re sorry? ’
  • ‘ now you want to call me crying? ’
  • ‘ he should of been home. ’
  • ‘ i regret the night I put that ring on. ’
  • ‘ he’s always got those fucking excuses. ’
  • ‘ let’s have a toast to the good life. ’
  • ‘ he only wants me when i’m not there. ’
  • ‘ he better call becky with the good hair. ’

6 Inch.

  • ‘ she walked in the club like nobody’s business. ’
  • ‘ she murdered everybody and i was her witness. ’
  • ‘ she’s stacking money every she does. ’
  • ‘ she’s mixing up that ace with that hennessy. ’
  • ‘ she loves the way it tastes. ’
  • ‘ that’s her recipe. ’
  • ‘ she fights for power. ’
  • ‘ she’s too smart to crave material things. ’
  • ‘ she’s pushing herself day and night. ’
  • ‘ she’s worth every dollar. ’
  • ‘ she’s worth every minute. ’

Daddy Lessons.

  • ‘ daddy’s little girl ’
  • ‘ daddy made a soldier out of me. ’
  • ‘ daddy liked his whiskey with his tea. ’
  • ‘ we rode motorcycles. blackjack, classic vinyl. ’
  • ‘ tough girl is what I had to be. ’
  • ‘ take care of your mother. ’
  • ‘ watch out for your sister. ’
  • ‘ he told me not to cry. ’
  • ‘ my daddy said shoot. ’
  • ‘ he swore it on the bible. ’
  • ‘ he held me in his arms. ’
  • ‘ he told me to be strong. ’
  • ‘ here’s what you do. ’
  • ‘ trouble comes to town and men like me come around. ’
  • ‘ my daddy warned me about men like you. ’
  • ‘ baby girl, he’s playing you. ’
  • ‘ Good job, ___. ’

Love Drought.

  • ‘ ten times out of nine, I know you’re lying. ’
  • ‘ nine times out of ten, I know you’re trying. ’
  • ‘ i’m trying to be fair. ’
  • ‘ you’re trying to be there. ’
  • ‘ all the love I’ve been giving goes unnoticed. ’
  • ‘ you’re my lifeline. ’
  • ‘ are you trying to kill me? ’
  • ‘ i don’t care about the lights. ’
  • ‘ the only way to go is up. ’
  • ‘ you and me could move mountains. ’
  • ‘ i’m only human. ’
  • ‘ what did I do wrong? ’
  • ‘ i’m so tough. ’
  • ‘ wassup? ’ 

Sandcastles.

  • ‘ we built sandcastles. ’
  • ‘ I made you cry. ’
  • ‘ I promised that I couldn’t stay. ’
  • ‘ every promise don’t work out that way. ’
  • ‘ I scratched out your name, and your face. ’
  • ‘ what is it about you? ’
  • ‘ your heart is broken. ’
  • ‘ show me your scars. ’
  • ‘ I won’t walk away.  ’

Forward.

  • ‘ best foot first. ’
  • ‘ just in case ’
  • ‘ it’s time to listen. ’
  • ‘ it’s time to fight.’
  • ‘ we can be open for a while. ’
  • ‘ i love you more than this job. ’
  • ‘ please don’t work for me. ’
  • ‘ go back to sleep. ’
  • ‘ just next to me. ’

Freedom.

  • ‘ lord forgive me. ’
  • ‘ i’ve been running. ’
  • ‘ may the last one burn into flames. ’
  • ‘ i can’t move. ’
  • ‘ cut me loose. ’
  • ‘ where are you? ’
  • ‘ i need freedom too! ’
  • ‘ cause a winner don’t quit on themselves. ’
  • ‘ don’t move. ’
  • ‘ i’ma riot. ’
  • ‘ call me bulletproof. ’
  • ‘ i meditate for practice. ’
  • ‘ eight blocks left. ’
  • ‘ don’t cry for me. ’
  • ‘ try for me. ’
  • ‘ live for me. ’
  • ‘ sing for me. ’
  • ‘ i could be more than i gotta be. ’
  • ‘ what do you want from me? ’
  • ‘ hear me out. ’
  • ‘ i had my ups and downs. ’
  • ‘ i was served lemons, but i made lemonade. ’

All Night.

  • ‘ i found the truth beneath your lies. ’
  • ‘ true love never has to hide ’
  • ‘ i’ve seen your scars. ’
  • ‘ so many people that i know, they’re just trying to touch you. kiss up and rub up and feel up on you. ’
  • ‘ i’m going to kiss up and rub up and feel up on you. ’
  • ‘ sweet love, all night long. ’
  • ‘ we’re together. ’
  • ‘ our love was stronger. ’
  • ‘ beyond your darkness, i’m your light. ’
  • ‘ dry your eyes. ’
  • ‘ true love’s the greatest weapon to win the war caused by pain. ’
  • ‘ every diamond has imperfections. ’
  • ‘ with every tear came redemption. ’
  • ‘ my torturer became my remedy. ’
  • ‘ how i missed you, my love. ’ 

Formation.

  • ‘ i’m back by popular demand. ’
  • ‘ y’all haters corny. ’
  • ‘ i’m so reckless. ’
  • ‘ i’m so possessive so I rock his Roc necklaces. ’
  • ‘ i got hot sauce in my bag. ’
  • ‘ i did not come to play with you hoes. ’
  • ‘ i came to slay. ’
  • ‘ i like cornbread. ’
  • ‘ you best believe it. ’
  • ‘ i see it, i want it. ’
  • ‘ i work hard, i grind ‘til I own it. ’
  • ‘ sippin’ Cuervo with no chaser. ’
  • ‘ I go off. ’
  • ‘ take what’s mine. ’
  • ‘ i’m a star. ’
  • ‘ okay, ladies now let’s get in formation. ’ 
  • ‘ prove to me you’ve got some coordination. ’
  • ‘ or you get eliminated. ’
  • ‘ when he fucks me good, I take his ass to Red Lobster. ’
  • ‘ if he hit it right, i might take him on a flight on my chopper. ’
  • ‘ i might get your song played on the radio station. ’
  • ‘ you just might be a black bill gates in the making. ’
  • ‘ you know you’re the bitch when you cause all this conversation. ’
  • ‘ always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper. ’ 
99 Prompts
  • + this was inspired highly on the lovely @sentence-fragments post “101 fluffy prompts” so, thank you <3
  • + these prompts are tailored to be written in the reader's point of view OR the character's point of view.
  • YOU AND I:
  • 001: "One day I'll sing you to sleep, and you'll wake up in love with me."
  • 002: "If only you knew who I am, maybe... maybe you'll love me like I love you."
  • 003: "We're just two poor kids, from a really rich city. Isn't that a pity?"
  • 004: "(You/I) come in, with mud on (your/my) face, holding a dozen roses. Shouldn't (I/you) be suspicious?"
  • 005: "Just please, please hold me so I won't fall apart."
  • 006: "You don't even know my name, and you're suddenly in love with me?"
  • 007: "I would appreciate it if you would stop taking my breath away whenever you walk by. I kinda need my breath."
  • 008: "You stupid, adorable idiot."
  • 009: "Can you help me with my homework? I figure since you're smart you know what you're doing."
  • 010: "You're fixing me in a way that no one else could."
  • 011: "Please don't leave me when I'm this weak. Please."
  • 012: "You're fluffy, like a pillow... or a well-written fanfic."
  • 013: "I'll make you know love again."
  • 014: "Aren't we passed 'hello'?"
  • 015: "Kiss me as if we'll never see each other again."
  • 016: "I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream."
  • 017: "You make me sane again."
  • 018: "Wise men say only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you."
  • 019: "Stay with me. Please, if you'll leave me tomorrow and never come back, stay one more night."
  • 020: "Take my hand. Take my whole life, too because I can't help it that I'm madly in love with you."
  • 021: "We're such opposites, and I couldn't be more attracted to you."
  • 022: "Can you sing to me until I fall asleep?"
  • 023: "I'm tired of being alone. Don't let me go."
  • 024: "You're just jealous because you're the little spoon."
  • 025: "You're cute when you're pouty and jealous."
  • LOCKDOWN:
  • 026: "She doesn't deserve you. That should be me."
  • 027: "You're sitting there, oblivious at the bar, when (she's/he's) sleeping around and you're just letting this all happen?!"
  • 028: "Number one: stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out of that loveless relationship."
  • 029: "I never meant to get attached. Now that I am, I'm trapped."
  • 030: "Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?"
  • 031: "(He/She) won't love you like I would."
  • 032: "(He's/She's) an idiot for letting someone like you go."
  • 033: "I have loved you since we were fifteen. You just never noticed."
  • 034: "While you were chasing her, you were oblivious that I was struggling to get your attention."
  • 035: "It's like you casted a spell on me. And from the start, I was hooked."
  • 036: "The thought of you with (her/him) makes me want to vomit, just saying."
  • SUPERFICIAL LOVE:
  • 037: "If you want to keep me then you better treat me like a damn princess."
  • 038: "This superficial love shit got me going crazy."
  • 039: "If you like (her/him), go for it. Just stop stringing me along."
  • 040: "You're such an idiot, you've been chasing for the right person when I've been standing here all along."
  • 041: "I think I know (he/she) doesn't love me. That's why I mess around."
  • 042: "I don't want to marry someone who broke me on the inside."
  • 043: "I keep falling for your fool's gold."
  • 044: "I thought it was supposed to be you. That you'd be the one to save me."
  • 045: "You're not the person who gets to be in my happily ever after."
  • 046: "It's sad because I still love you even though you're with (her/him)."
  • BROKEN HEARTS CLUB:
  • 047: "I'm not your side piece. If anything, you're my side piece."
  • 048: "After all these years of not apologizing, you're on your knees begging for my help? After all you did?"
  • 049: "And if one day, you wake up and realize you want to be with me again, you better be ready to slay a dragon to win me back."
  • 050: "I trusted you and you abused that trust. That's not right. You can't waltz in here and think everything is okay."
  • 051: "I had a few drinks now and the only thing on my mind is you. It's always you."
  • 052: "I'm not the same (girl/boy) you left broken-hearted two years ago."
  • 053: "You don't get the glory of seeing me cry."
  • 054: "People may call you a hero, but you're a villain in my eyes."
  • 055: "Sorry, I'm all out of love."
  • 056: "You were the best drug my heart got addicted to."
  • 057: "You left me and went on to become bigger and better."
  • THE ANGST:
  • 058: "You saved me from death, and now you want to kill me? You had your chance."
  • 059: "No one came when I was about to die. You left me to die."
  • 060: "I am so done, trying to be your number one."
  • 061: "Every little thing you do pisses me off and it makes me mad because it makes me love you more."
  • 062: "You had no trouble tearing me apart and poking holes in my heart."
  • 063: "You accused me of murder and now you want to go out for dinner?!"
  • 064: "No! Stop feeling sorry for yourself again!"
  • 065: "I'm not the damsel in distress anymore! I. Don't. Need. You."
  • 066: "Don't pretend you're sorry. I know you're not."
  • 067: "You stop being sorry three years ago. Stop saying you're sorry."
  • 068: "You. Don't. Own. Me. You never did, never will. People can't own people."
  • 069: "There is not a single bone of humanity in you. You've turned to the monster I feared you were gonna become."
  • 070: "You're terrible. And to think I actually fell in love with you at one point."
  • 071: "You sicken me, you pathetic low life. Stop stalking me and trying to save me."
  • 072: "I can save myself, thank you very much for your unnecessary and unwanted help."
  • 073: "I don't need you to be happy. I never needed you."
  • WILD THINGS:
  • 074: "So... you're actually undercover pretending to be a high school (girl/boy)?"
  • 075: "(You/I) just saved (me/you) from a burning fire and now you're asking me out?"
  • 076: "Why are my clothes on fire? Why aren't your clothes on fire?"
  • 077: "What crawled in your pants and made you a fuck(boy/girl)?"
  • 078: "You're sick? I'll be over with lemonade in five."
  • 079: "Stop hiding in the bathtub and eating pizza."
  • 080: "So my dog is a robot that you've been using to spy on me?"
  • 081: "Explain to me why you are covered in marshmallow fluff and Nutella."
  • 082: "Don't tell me you're filling up water balloons with hot tea again and throwing them at your enemies."
  • 083: "(You're/ I'm) (my/your) little sister, so naturally a cold-crazed psychopath man is gonna want to make (you/me) his bride."
  • 084: "Did you just ride on a horse all the way to my house to ask me out?"
  • 085: "Why the hell did you just kick me in the (boob/nuts)?"
  • 086: "You're like a little, shiny potato chip."
  • 087: "Can I dance spontaneously in the rain now?"
  • 088: "Stop using my tooth brush to brush your hair."
  • 089: "What song do you want me to play while you throw up?"
  • 090: "You smell like burps and giggles."
  • 091: "Can you stop rubbing butter over yourself for a minute and listen to me?"
  • 092: "Stop running around the place screaming that you want to be Blue Ivy. We're at a grocery store."
  • 093: "Can you stop hitting me in the butt with a water bottle?"
  • 094: "So you called me over because you poured hot sauce in your hair?"
  • 095: "Am I the first person to tell you that you cannot rap? Because if I am, I'm surprised."
  • 096: "I don't want to know why you're dressed as a banana."
  • 097: "Please don't tell me I just fell into dog poop."
  • 098: "I'm calling you Captain Savage Worm."
  • 099: "You're just an adorable kitten in a way too tight jumpsuit."
Ride to Slavery

3 WEEKS AGO
10:00AM The little bitch on the bicycle wasn’t paying attention as I drove by and flipped me the bird as I went by. I slowed down and asked her what her problem was and she said, “You nearly hit me, asshole.” I told her I wasn’t anywhere near her and she came right back, “Just open your fucking eyes next time, moron.” I knew how deserted the road was so I grabbed one of the ziplock bags I carry when hunting with a rag soaked in cohlorform and then slammed my van to the right and knocked her off her bike. I hit the breaks, got out, opening the side door as I went. She wasn’t even up yet and I threw her bike in the van. She got up and asked what the fuck I thought I was doing. I punched her right in the stomach and put the rag over her face. She was out in seconds.

11:00 PM I heard the little bitch waking up. I’d put her in the basement area under the main barn. I wasn’t even sure what I was going to do with her yet. I let her scream for a while, before I paid her a little visit and silenced her with a slap to the face before putting a helmet on her and cutting her clothes off. The helmet was so she’d start to learn and understand the complete loss of identity she was going to suffer as a slave. I put a little bengay, mixed with tiger balm and hot sauce on her cunt, to make her squirm.

12:00 PM I hit her with the cattle prod a few times and she absolutely howled, it was music. I also decided to get her aquianted early with her new life of pain and caned her now extremely sensitive cunt. She struggled and screamed like mad, and tried desperately to get away. I leisurely rubbed my new property. She was going to be fun.

1:30 PM I get her out of the chair and strap her into a strait jacket and put her in a standing cage with a helmet over her head. She can’t see a thing and can hear very little. I randomly walked up and hit her cunt with a small shock wand. The way she screamed and bucked in an effort to get away was like an erotic dance. I pulled her out after a while and straped her into a frame that gives me unrestrained access to her now very sore cunt. I caned her feet and ripped multiple orgams out of her before I whipped her cunt with a single tale. She twisted as much as her bondage allowed which wasn’t much and I could see the begging in her eyes. Her mind was slowly, but very surely moving in the exact direction I wanted it to and instincitvely I think she knew it and was trying desperately to resist.

4:00 PM Given her continued resistance I decide it’s time to truly introduce my new toy to just how much pain it can suffer in very little time. What followed was a three hour marathon of various positions, pain, and suffering, all designed to confuse her mind and overload her senses. She started strapped onto her back, helpless as I sadistically apply an electrified probe to her tits and cunt. Then I bolted her neck and limbs to a pipe and caned her feet before making her stand painfully so I could cane her helplessly exposed ass, and finger her raw cunt to multiple orgams. I laughed at her efforts to stay on her toes and off sore soles, and I loved the way she tried to twist away from my invading fingers. All through this I continually repeated the mantra of how worthless she is. That she’ was just a slave. A thing. A toy for my amusement and pleasure and nothing else. She was constantly shaking her head but the words were getting to her, as was the torture and constant stimulation she was being forced to endure.

7:30 PM By now her cunt was sopping wet despite her efforts to resist. Her body was completely betraying her and I knew it was playing heavily on her mind. She was starting to wonder how she could win if even her own body was fighting against her will. I decide to keep working on those feelings of helplessness and straped her into another frame and blindfolded her as I decided to start her sex training in earnest. I stuck my cock in her mouth and she just sat there gagging slightly but otherwise motionless, with the exception of trying desperately to break free of her bonds. I ignored her struggles and told her even with the ring gag in her mouth I expected her to start sucking. She didn’t at first but after a few shocks with the probe up her ass and whipping her cunt she finally started working with gusto. She wasn’t a great cock sucker yet, and once I shifted to fucking her I realized she had a lot to learn about squeezing her master’s cock with her cunt but she’d learn. If I had any mercy I’d figure her cunt had taken a lot of abuse today and she was probably in quite a bit of pain as I fucked her, but I don’t, instead I whipped her tits for her lack of performance and explained a slave must always perform perfectly, or else.
She’s struggled even harder at my words, still trying to fight her way out of her destiny. I just commented about how pathetic her efforts were as I savegely pinched her nipples and got a final blow job before letting my load splash all over her face. It was another demonstration of her complete helplessness and made to continue her utterly demoralization. I saw the exact look I was searching for in her face for a moment before it was replaced with anger and also more than just a little spirit. I was sure she still thought she’d be rescued or would escape. It was going to be great crushing that spirit and watching that hope completely dissolve along with her will.

10:00 PM I wanted to stick with the lesson of complete helplessness so bolted a gag around her head and bound her wrists to the back of it and her nipples to the front. She stood fully exposed as I proceeded to whip her at my leisure. Each snap of the single tale across her body brought an agonizing scream from her and after an hour she was covered in welts and I could hear begging, but I ignore it as I finally let her down. She was exhausted and could barely stand so I bound her into a kneeling position on an elevated board. Her head and wrists are locked in a kind of stock and her legs were forced doubled and spread wide. She realized how completely exposed she was and started screaming when I approached with she recognized as a piercing kit. I put the kit down and walked behind her, shoving a probe up her ass. She started crying again and I grabbed one of her nipples viciously and gave her a quick shock before I told her to shut up. Her gaze briefly went to the controller I held up and the message, “or else” was clear; she was immediatelly silent. She was learning. I proceeded to pierce her nipples and clit then attached a to the new tit piercings and caned her ass. She was being as quiet as possible, the threat of the probe still on her mind and I smiled.

12:00 AM It had been a long day and my little fuck cunt was exhausted. I locked her in one of my special boxes for the night. It of course had clamps on her tits so a computer could send random shocks as I shaved her head as the final humiliation of the night. Having hair is a luxury a person enjoys, and a fuck slut enjoyed no luxuries. She wept uncontrollably when I told her that. I simply smiled again as she was shorn like an animal and then shaved bald. I loved the look that’s filling her eyes now. She’s terrified and beyond rational thought. She’s a wild animal, and I’m going to enjoy taming her. I continued to explain, in graphic detail, what her life was going to be. She screamed as the reality that this was just the first day of her new life crashes down on her. I left the computer running and melted some wax on her head before mounting a burning candle on the soft wax. I told her if the candle fell off she’d probably burn down the barn and die. If it fell off and she was still alive in the morning she’d just wish she was dead. She continued crying as I left. She’d have a long and exhausting night while I slept soundly. I needed some rest. After all, I had long day planned for her tomorrow.

Present Day
9:00AM the alarm goes off, and my new alarm clock immediatelly snaps up as quickly as her bondage allows and starts searching for my cock. It’s difficult with her arms incased in a leather pouch and the head fully covered in a tight helmet. I’ve found it’s possible to make a helmet extra tight with the absence of hair and so have been keeping her bald. The daily shaving just demoralizes her more.
She finally makes it onto the bed and her search is successful as she starts sucking my cock, just like she’s been taught. She was a bit slow at first but a couple mornings with an electrical probe in her ass and cunt that woke her up with a nice strong current taught her to move quickly. She begged almost constantly for freedom, promising to do anything I wanted if I’d just let her go. I told her she was doing exactly what I wanted, and besides, I’d already proven to her that she didn’t have a choice. I’d do what I wanted without her consent. She was a slave and had no rights and I’d keep teaching her that lesson until she learned it. It was amazing how quick after that the little cunt’s will crumbled. That first night of rape and torture, followed by a day of exactly the same is what really got her, that and the electrical shock up her ass, cunt, and on her tits. She was begging by the second day for the chance to do anything to not experience that again. She had started to fully accept this was the course of her life and she actually called me “Master”. I took her at her word, even though I enjoyed using that torture quite often. She’s absolutely and phobically terrified of electric shock now.

9:15 AM I love fucking this tight little cunt. She, or rather “it”, now works my cock with her muscles as good as any whore I’ve ever had. Almost like her life depended on it, in fact. After I’m done here I’ll flip her over and fuck her in her ass again. She still struggles a little when I do that and I love overpowering her so completely. I figure I’ve only got a few more weeks before even that fight’s out of her. Once that happens I’ll start the real training to completely eradicate any vestiges of the person she used to be and then sell her off.

Before I do I’ll ask her how sorry she is she was so mouthy. Bet she’ll be REAL sorry she ever met me by then. In fact, before she’s fully broken and can’t imagine being anything else but a slave I’m sure not a day will go by that she won’t wish for the chance to go back to that fateful day. Unfortunately for her that wish would never be fulfilled. She would spend the rest of her life as a sex slave and would live knowing that perfect submission and utter obedience was the only thing acceptable from a her. She would perform as a perfect slave and to the utmost best of her abilities, her masters would always make sure of that.

5

Do you see that big stack of foil-wrapped breakfast burritos? They’re now all hanging out in my freezer, and it feels like gold in the bank. My cousin made breakfast burritos for our family crowd while we were in Arizona, and they were such a big hit, I was home less than 24 hours before I made a huge batch of them for ourselves. (I’ll share.)

What goes into these babies? Crispy potatoes, lots of cheese, browned sausage, black beans, diced green chilies, and scrambled eggs. After they came hot out of the oven, we topped them with sour cream and salsa verde, and a bit of hot sauce for good measure.

A breakfast burrito isn’t fancy fare, but I dare you to find someone who doesn’t like them. Heading out for a hike or bike ride Saturday morning? Pull out a bunch of these and let them thaw in the refrigerator overnight. Stick them in the oven in the morning, and you’ve got an easy, cheesy, hearty meal. They’re so good, we’ve had them two nights in a row for dinner, so don’t limit yourself to eating them just for breakfast. 

If you’re not keen on one ingredient or another, just omit it or add something else. My cousin typically uses chorizo sausage rather than breakfast sausage or ground pork, which adds some heat. I used pepper jack cheese, but you could substitute cheddar. The quantities of each ingredient can vary greatly. I tried to remember my cousin’s proportions, and I think I came close.

A few notes:

  • We used 10-inch flour tortillas, and it made about 25 burritos.
  • These come together much more quickly if you have a couple of helpers… someone grating cheese, someone else browning the sausage, a person assigned to do the dishes, etc.
  • Big eaters (or hungry people) can eat two, but I would say the typical serving is one per person.
  • Reheating – After you let the burritos thaw overnight in the refrigerator, you can reheat them a couple of ways. 1) Stick the foil-wrapped burritos in a preheated 350 degree F oven for about 25 minutes. 2) Microwave thawed burritos for about 1 minute, 15 seconds. (The time depends on your microwave and how many you’re doing together. Add more time for more burritos.) You can then put the microwaved burritos into a hot skillet with a little butter and fry them until the edges get nice and crisp.

¡Buenos días!

Filling ingredients for approximately 25 burritos:

  • 25 (10-inch) flour tortillas (or more for good measure)
  • 1-½ pounds breakfast sausage (such as Jimmy Dean) browned and drained, or 2 links chorizo sausage, crumbled, browned and drained
  • 15-18 eggs, scrambled and broken into marble-size pieces
  • 2 cans black beans, drained and rinsed
  • 2 (5 ounce) cans diced green chilies
  • Grated pepper jack or other good melting cheese (such as cheddar) – I used about 1 pound
  • ½ to 1 bag frozen hash brown potatoes, fried until crisp, according to package directions

For serving:

  • A variety of salsas, including salsa verde
  • Sour cream
  • Your favorite hot sauce

Directions:

Combine all ingredients together in a very big bowl. Place a scoop of filling (about 1 cup) towards the bottom edge of a tortilla. Fold the bottom edge over the filling, and then fold the sides towards the middle. Tightly roll up the tortilla. Wrap each burrito in a square of aluminum foil.

To heat, see the heating instructions (above).

Namaaz Dining, molecular gastronomy in Indonesia
Molecular gastronomy in Indonesia? Whaaaat? I love the awesomeness that is molecular gastronomy, so when I found out about this place, I knew I had to go. Namaaz Dining is the first molecular gastronomy restaurant in Indonesia (in Jakarta), and it’s pretty amazing. (Btw, if you don’t want the surprise ruined for any of the dishes, stop reading here and just go!) From a piece of fruit that looks and feels like beef, to an edible candle, to a liquid that is simultaneously hot and cold, Chef Andrian Ishak crafts a 17-course, 3-hour extravaganza that will leave you cheering in your seat. Chef Andrian, a self-taught chef, takes traditional Indonesian dishes and flips them upside down, freezes them in liquid nitrogen, and then slow-cooks them in a sous vide. You’ll experience rujak, martabak, beef rendang, and many more in new crazy ways. “What you see is not what you get” is the rule for many of the dishes. One dish looks like a frosted cookie drizzled with chocolate, but it becomes a spicy beef soup (tongseng) after adding hot water and stirring. My favorite dish included a frozen piece of pineapple sorbet over peanut sauce that looked like caramel. It was a combination of creamy, sweet, and savory as the flavors mix in your mouth, but surprises you with a spicy kick as it passes down your throat.

Namaaz Dining has an elegant setting with very attentive staff, but in a casual environment where the chef just wants his guests to have fun. “It’s not fine dining; it’s fun dining,” in the words of the chef, and I couldn’t agree more. He serves and explains most dishes personally, and everyone eats at the same time, so everyone enjoys his creations simultaneously. It’s not just cooking; it’s science, and Chef Andrian is brilliant at both. Watch out for this guy; he needs to be known internationally. Having been to Moto in Chicago and minibar in DC, Namaaz is up to par. If Michelin gave stars in Indonesia, this place would surely have one star. The chef changes the menu every 8-10 months, and I will definitely be back. Following, I will talk about all the dishes. Again, if you don’t want the surprise ruined, you’ll want to stop reading here.

 
Chef Andrian Ishak (on the right) in front of a cool wall at Namaaz Dining.

#1 Watermelon with pear and peanut sauce - Looks like and feels like a cut of meat, but it’s watermelon. “What you see is not what you get.“ Paired with a delicious, potent peanut sauce and julienned pears.

 
#2 Savory martabak with egg yolk jam and egg white caviar - Flaky puff pastry with curry powder with sous vide egg yolk and egg white "caviar”. Neat execution, very eggy.

 
#3 Sate lilit (Balinese seafood satay) - Mackerel popsicle wrapped with red cabbage with slightly spicy and sweet peanut sauce and sweet soy sauce (kecap manis). Very playful presentation. The fish was a little spongy.

 
#4 Oxtail soup - Dehydrated oxtail with bone marrow and rice custard. The custard was very rich and was balanced out by the broth.

 
#5 Roasted duck with red chili served on stone pestle - Duck inside reconstituted red chilies on top of yellow “chicken paste”, which was traditionally ground in stone mortar & pestle. Very delicious. Again, “what you see is not what you get.”


#6 Rujak (fruit salad with peanut sauce) - Pineapple sorbet “cup”, with jicama and taro inside, jambu (rose apple) foam on top, and caramelized terasi (chili sauce with shrimp paste) peanut sauce. This was my favorite dish. The peanut sauce has the look and consistency of caramel. The pineapple sorbet neutralizes the spiciness of the sauce until you swallow, when you get hit with a surprise spicy kick. Sweet, savory, and spicy: perfect combination.

 
#7 Kambing Bacem (tamarind lamb) - Served with very creamy and fluffy mashed potatoes and veggie broth foam. Lamb patty was very fresh, very tender, and very flavorful. Yum.

 
#8a I didn’t know it was time for dessert yet. Looks like a frosted cookie or a candy bar drizzled with chocolate, but add hot water, stir, and you get…

 
#8b Tongseng! That’s right; it turns into a spicy beef stew. This one was one of my favorites in terms of presentation. In terms of flavor, very tasty, but a little too salty.

 
#9 Call this a modern take on beef rendang - Dehydrated rendang seasoning with medium steak cooked sous vide and coconut espuma. The steak was SUPER tender, and the combination with the rendang and the coconut was delicious. The greens had a really nice sauce too. One of my favorite dishes of the night.

 
#10 Shrimp with instant noodle - Chef Andrian brought the noodle batter in a squeeze bottle and boiling water in a champagne flute, and cooked the noodles in ~5 seconds: literally instant noodles! The shrimp was infused with butter in a whipped cream dispenser with a nitrous oxide charger to make the butter sweeter and smoky, then the shrimp was cooked sous vide. This dish was too heavy on the butter, and the shrimp was a little tough. Also, the noodles kind of melted a little after sitting on the plate for a while. Cool execution, but this was my least favorite dish of the night.

 
#11 ’Palate cleanser’ or ‘mouth wash’ - The “bar of soap” has almond, white chocolate, peppermint, and butter, served with a coconut, pandan foam. The towel is made of wool, “so don’t eat it.” Tasty. Love the presentation on this one.

 
#12 Dragon breath - Vanilla meringue in liquid nitrogen. The meringue is dipped in liquid nitrogen for a few seconds, then served. Put it in your mouth, and you breathe out smoke.

 
#13 Passion fruit soda - An open egg shell is served with the white bits at the top. The “yolk” has passion fruit inside, and the “white” is made with vinegar and cayenne. The white bits are carbonated lime. Put the lime in your mouth, then drink the “egg”. When the yolk touches the lime, it bursts, releasing the passion fruit juice, and you get passion fruit soda! This was my favorite dessert. Fun and delicious.

 
#14 Fruit drink - Chef Andrian brings out a cup with berries, watermelon, and lemon, then pours water into it. When the water hits the fruit, it gels up (what you see on top).

 
#15a Am I going to eat a candle?

 
#15b Not quite. This was “grilled banana”! It was a hollowed out banana with nuts inside, with pop rocks and powdered sugar on the side. Even the whick was edible! Very cool dish and very tasty.

 
#16 Hot iced tea - Huh? Isn’t that a contradiction? Not at Namaaz. If you look closely at the glass, you’ll notice there’s condensation only on the right half. This tea was hot in one half and cold in the other. As you drink it, you feel the two temperatures enter your mouth. Very neat trick.

 
#17a The last dish was another that is assembled at the table. First, this…

 
#17b … then, the chef drops a red bean meringue that was dipped in liquid nitrogen, then you crack the chocolate ball and sweet coconut milk spills into the plate. Ta daaa! Iced red bean, Namaaz style.
Already looking forward to my next visit!
2

Talk about memory lane though. Our day in NOLA with Bobby and Sheri, one of my most favorite memories of us together. I still remember you ate that hot ass hot sauce and tried to play it off like it didn’t bother you until it really hit you hard, so you went outside of the store and chugged a whole thing of juice. 😂🙃 You were so cute then and even cuter now. We’ve really been through so much. @wheresmyyoshi  💖💖

4

Dope Spaceships

You ever feel like you’re on a really dope spaceship? No? Then you clearly haven’t been to the new Dimes. It’s not all that different from the old Dimes, it’s just across the street and in a bigger space, thus NEW DIMES. They play a mix of jams that’s just unparalleled. No fucking way is this some Pandora playlist. This is a heavily and professional curated playlist by a very East Bushwick barista that really only appreciates vinyl. They’ve got some Brian Eno from like 30 years ago playing then hit you with some very current vibey shiz. It’s a very hipster spaceship though. I feel like if Dimes blasted off into space with me inside, I’d be cool with that. We would all create a dope urban and sustainable farm on Saturn or something and eat dope mango pitaya bowls all day.

Dimes

Tip: The coffee is amazing. It’s counter culture so you know you winning

Tip: all bowls, acai and pity make you feel like ok that all your money goes to rent.

Tip: the hot sauce is made in house. It’s better than yo mamas

Tip: egg anything is fire. breakfast sandwiches or tacos all fire.

Tip: wheatgrass margarita 🍸

Pricing: breakfast sandwich ($6.50), mango pitaya bowl ($10), quinoa bowl ($13)

When to come here: when u have that fire vintage alphet on, for food that makes you feel amazing, girls lunch, lunch, catching up with a friend, brunch, breakfast, snack, all day.

Where: 49 Canal St, New York

Times

Monday8:00 am – 11:00 pm

Tuesday8:00 am – 11:00 pm

Wednesday8:00 am – 11:00 pm

Thursday8:00 am – 11:00 pm

Friday8:00 am – 12:00 am

Saturday9:00 am – 12:00 am

Sunday9:00 am – 10:30 pm

Phn: (212) 925-1300

PEANUT SOUP

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, BUCKLE UP.

Y’ALL WANT SOME EASY AS PISS FOOD THAT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A CULTURED FART? YEAH?? GOOD. CAUSE I GOT THE RECIPE FOR YOU.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS, HERE’S THE STUFF WE’RE GONNA NEED:

  • 6 CUPS OF YOUR FAVOURITE BROTH. DO I CARE WHAT IT IS? NO. CAUSE THIS DINNER’S FOR YOUR FABULOUS ASS.
  • 1 ONION
  • BUNCHA GREENS
  • GARLIC
  • CHUNKY PEANUT BUTTER? IN A SOUP? YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS
  • TOMATO PASTE [HINT HINT, I CHEATED AND GOT THE ITALIAN ONE CAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO SEASON FURTHER]
  • YOUR FAVOURITE HOT SAUCE. OR GO WITHOUT IT. THIS SHITS FOR YOU.
  • GINGER IF YOU WANNA KICK IT UP A NOTCH 

STEPS.

  • BOIL THE FUCK OUTTA THAT BROTH. NONE OF THIS LOOK ITS HOT NONSENSE, I WANNA SEE BUBBLES GOING. WHILE THAT SHITS ON THE BURNER, YOU, YOU DEVINE MOTHERFUCKER, ARE GONNA CHOP UP YOUR ONIONS, GINGER [IF YOU WANT] AND GARLIC. HOW BIG YOU ASK? HOWEVER BIG YOU WANT. 

  • WHEN THAT SHIT STARTS A’BUBBLIN’ YOU’RE GONNA PUT IN THOSE DELICIOUS TIDBITS YOU JUST CHOPPED UP. LOWER THE HEAT, LET IT DO ITS THANG

  • GET OUT A BOWL THAT CAN HANDLE THE DELICIOUS HOT LIQUIDS YOU’RE COOKIN UP, NONE OF THAT WEAK STUFF, I WANT YOUR ASS TO BE SAFE. IN SAID BOWL START SPOONING YOUR PB AND TOMATO PASTE. * I USED ABOUT TWO GIANT HEAPING SPOONFULS OF PB AND HALF A CAN OF TOMATO PASTE, BUT HEY, THAT’S JUST ME.* WHEN THAT HOT DELICIOUS LIQUIDS BOILIN AND YOUR YUMMY THINGS IN IT ARE NICE AND SOFT, I WANT YOU TO SPOON SOME [LIKE A CUP OR SMTH] OF THAT SWEET SWEET NECTAR INTO YOUR BOWL. WISK THAT SHIT UP. 

  • IF YOU MOFOS ARE THE DAREDEVILS I’VE COME TO KNOW AND LOVE, YOU CAN ADD A GOOD HIT OR TWO OF HOT SAUCE RIGHT NOW. 

  • POUR YOUR THAT GOODNESS IN A BOWL BACK INTO THE POT. NOW WHAT?? NOW YOU SHOW THOSE GREENS WHOS BOSS AND TEAR THEM UP. TOSS THEIR PLANT CORPSES IN THERE. THAT’LL SHOW ‘EM.

  • EAT THE FUCK OUTTA YOUR MASTERPIECE. LOOKIT YOU COOKING AND BEING A FUCKIN’ BABE. GO GET ‘EM TIGER

I ATE MINE WITH CRACKERS, BUT YOU CAN BET THIS STUFF TASTES GREAT ON RICE.

KEEP ON KICKIN’ ASS YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE

A pushback post dedicated to those who think the ‪‎Formation‬ lyrics don't match the video.

“Do you fools listen to or do you just skim through it.”
- Jay Z, “Renegade”

Let me start this by saying I’m not a Beyonce stan. I wouldn’t even classify myself as a fan. I’ve never owned any of her albums, including the Destiny’s Child ones (unless I claim my college roommate owning and constantly playing the No, No, No single back in the 90s). However, I do respect Beyonce as a black woman, as an artist, and someone who has a ridiculous work ethic. And she does have songs I like (my favorite being Flaws and All. The writing and feeling of that song is dope as hell) With that said, I see a lot of people confused by the lyrics of Beyonce’s new song “Formation.” While it’s funny to make memes about Red Lobster (the man looking in the mirror telling himself to “Get back in there and earn that Red Lobster” is my favorite), it’s important to note that the Red Lobster reference goes along with the theme of the song. I keep seeing people type how the lyrics don’t match the video. I don’t agree at all. This song is Black Girl Magic at it’s core. It’s Carefree Black Girl at it’s core. It’s being unapologetically Black. And being those things in this society is an act of rebellion. Let me go a bit further.

“Y'all haters corny with that illuminati mess
Paparazzi, catch my fly, and my cocky fresh”

She starts the song addressing all the YouTube comments about her being in the illuminati. Every time someone makes it big now, YouTube commenters can’t wait to find reasons to show how they’re in the illuminati. If you wink at the camera, that’s an eye over the pyramid reference and it means you’re in the illuminati. Hell, YouTube commenters have said that Kai is in the illuminati because she has viral videos on YouTube. It’s disrespectful. We’ve all watched Beyonce from the days she was working with Kelly, Latavia (I used to be in love with her… Hey boo! **insert winky emoji**), Letoya, and Wyclef. up to the present. She’s worked HARD and saying she got where she is because she’s in the some secret society is lazy thinking by lazy people who don’t have her work ethic. They haven’t made it where they want to be, so there has to be some secret society others belong to when they make it. She deads that shit from the start.

“I’m so reckless when I rock my Givenchy dress (stylin’)
I’m so possessive so I rock his Roc necklaces”

Again, carefreeness. “I’m reckless with what I want. AND I love and rep my man. Say something. I dare you!” Shoutout to the cocky black women who don’t give a damn what others think. Again, that’s an act of rebellion.

“My daddy Alabama,
Momma Louisiana
You mix that negro with that Creole make a Texas bamma
I like my baby hair, with baby hair and afros
I like my negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils
Earned all this money but they never take the country out me
I got a hot sauce in my bag, swag”

Do I really need to break this down? She’s letting you know what it is. Don’t get it twisted. THIS is WHO I am. Also, “don’t come for Blue’s hair or me or my man’s black features ANYMORE.”

(interlude by Messy May + Big Freedia)
"Oh yeah baby, oh yeah I, ohhhhh, oh yes I like that
I did not come to play with you hoes, haha
I came to slay, bitch I like cornbreads and collard greens, bitch
Oh yes, you besta believe it”

See above. Stays with the theme.

Then there’s a repeat of the first verse followed by the chorus. I could break down the chorus, but it’s pretty self explanatory.

“When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay
When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay
If he hit it right, I might take him on a flight on my chopper, cause I slay
Drop him off at the mall, let him buy some J’s, let him shop up, cause I slay
I might get your song played on the radio station, cause I slay
I might get your song played on the radio station, cause I slay
You just might be a black Bill Gates in the making, cause I slay
I just might be a black Bill Gates in the making”

So this seems to be where the confusion lies. “What does fucking her man, and Red Lobster have to do with this song?” Um, EVERYTHING. It fits the theme. She’s not talking about some random ass dude. She’s talking about her Black husband. And while Bey and Jay can afford to go to any restaurant on Earth, she says Red Lobster for a reason. For the same reason she mentioned keeping Hot Sauce in her bag (swag!). Red Lobster was the spot you took your boo when you thought you were being fancy back in the day. It’s such a “ghetto" idea nowadays, but back in the day you were hood/country ballin if you took bae to Red Lobster (call me ghetto, but I’m still hitting Red Lobster up for Endless Shrimp and Cheddar Biscuits. I am who I am damnit). It’s hood/country like carrying hot sauce in your purse. It’s also a power move in the sense that SHE’S taking bae out, not reverse. She has her own and if SHE’S pleased, SHE’S making that move.

She follows that theme up with a straight power move, but same concept. If SHE’S pleased she’s taking him on a chopper ride. If SHE’S pleased she’ll toss his ass a couple crumbs and tell him to go get some J’s. She could’ve easily said some fancy ass designer by she said J’s for a reason. It keeps true to hood/country wants/needs reminding us all of WHO she is.

Want more black girl magic/power? Well she has that too. I can get YOUR shit played on the radio if I choose (I feel bad here because she bout to get hella struggle Soundcloud links in her Twitter mentions). Why can she makes these things happen? Because she slays damnit. Black girl magic… Carefree black girl. The theme stays consistent.

Lastly, and this may be my favorite part of the song. She could’ve chosen any rich white billionaire to say here. Her and Jay are close to Warren Buffet so it makes sense to use him right? Nah! Bill Gates. Gates is famous for his philanthropy. So why she could just sit back and be a rich baddie with a powerful rich husband and adorable daughter, she’s saying that’s not enough. She’s about to start speaking. She’s putting her power into play for something more. The proof of that is in the video. The proof is having a dozen black women with afros and black berets, on the 50th anniversary of the formation of the Black Panther Party and only a few miles away from where they started, on stage at the Superbowl singing this song knowing backlash will come. The proof of that is the money they’ve reportedly used to fund BLM issues on the low low. The proof of that is this new world tour raising money for Flint. It reminds me of her husband’s reflection on his song “Minority Report” which was about the guilt he felt after not helping as much as he could after Katrina.

“Left them on they porches, same old story in New Orleans
Silly rappers, cause we got a couple Porsches
MTV stopped by to film our fortresses
We forget the unfortunate
Sure, I ponied up a mil’ but I didn’t give my time
So in reality I didn’t give a dime
Or a damn, I just put my monies in the hands
Of the same people that left my people stranded”

While there are clear BLM themes in the video (which I love), this song is about being Black Unapologetically. And she’s not waiting until she falls off and has less to lose to say and be this. She’s at the height of her career. She’s damn near on MJ icon level (before you start spazzing, I said DAMN NEAR). The timing of this is important. Years from now we’ll look back on this and realize how amazing that Superbowl moment was. People will talk about how much pride this gave them. Shoutout to Beyonce for this.

Finally, let us not forget the finals words of the song which lead me to believe this is just the beginning….

"Girl I hear some thunder
Golly this is that water boy, oh lord”

A plea for destruction

Hello tumblr world, I’m a 34 yo man and this is my testament to the greatest Woman on the planet and how much i desire to be Hers. To be used for Her amusement and desires. I’ve always been submissive and I’ve enjoyed being used by powerful, dominant Women. Recently i made a call on niteflirt that changed my life, for better or worse to be determined. I called the amazing Miss Ten, and it was great. It’s always hard to judge exactly what a Domme thinks of a lowly submissive, but She seemed to enjoy the call, which was very encouraging to me:)

My first call to Miss Ten was on a Tuesday night, I had been out for a couple drinks with some co-workers. Upon returning home I was feeling extra submissive and craving some pain. I had recently tried niteflirt for the first time, although with not much success. After searching through some Femdom listings I saw it, Miss Tens listing. Her first interest listed was CBT, and She proclaimed that She wanted a real, hardcore session. I decided to try and deliver from my end and called Her. Immediately I could tell that She is very naturally Dominant. She was in control with such little effort, and such great ease. She asked what I had for cbt, I had lots of wooden clothespins(She prefers plastic), some icy hot, hot sauce, mouthwash and needles. I spent the next twenty minutes or so smacking my balls and my dick, applying clothespins all over my body, and hitting them off. It was inTENse for sure. She likes to ask what your pain level is from 1-10, I suppose this may be how She got her name because you will get to 10. I was given a small break from abusing my genitals, just to cover my finger first in mouthwash and then hot sauce, shoving it up my ass after each dip. I was almost out of time and money so she made sure to have me hurry and shove a needle through the head of my dick, something I had never done to myself before. My call ended with me short of breath from the pain, and the most addictive, sadistic laugh from the other end. To say that I was hooked would be a mild understatement. I was shaking, in tears, and on cloud nine all in one.

A couple weeks passed, and i was desperately craving more abuse. I had gotten a candle at Tens request, and gotten all of my torture implements ready. I also made sure I had more time so that She could use Her magic without time constraints. This time was a Friday night as well so I had more recovery time. As soon as I called She remember me from the last time, and I can’t explain the way I shivered when She said my name right away. She immediately got down to business, putting clothespins all over my body, and then pouring hot wax all over my dick. I had two pins on each lip and one on my tongue. I was drooling all over myself, smacking and ripping dried wax and clothespins from my cock and balls. Also I had bound my balls tightly with rubber bands, which eventually became extremely painful, making it hard to concentrate on anything else. This time i was made to shove two needles through the head of my dick. By the time I was done with this I was crying, shaking and dizzy. I think She could tell, because She slowly had me do a few things, writing on my stomach just above my cock “Thank You Miss Ten :)” with a red permanent marker. I then slowly pulled/smacked/ripped more clothespins off my cock and balls, and then reapplying some more. Somewhere in there was icy hot and hot sauce used as lube to jerk off with. The end of the call was a little blurry for me, I remember Her having me lay down, and as best I can remember I was crying and begged Her to let me stop. I’m a little ashamed about this because She deserves the best and I feel like quitting isn’t the best, but I think I was past 10 up to 11 or 12, I finally hit the wall. She gave me some after call instructions, take some pics and then to clean myself up and lay down. I remember cleaning all the blood from the head of my dick, and then laying on my bed smiling from ear to ear. Addiction had set in.

I’m here today on tumblr to state that I’m addicted to Miss Ten, I crave Her and the abuse and control She gives me. As i type this I’m covered in clothespins, that I know will hurt even more when I take them off. I will thank Miss Ten after each one is removed, and hope and pray that I will be worthy enough to be used by Her more, increasing in frequency and intensity, until I’m completely used up. This is real, this is serious, this is my plea for destruction Miss Ten. Please use me for whatever I may be worth to You. Thank You Miss Ten, you are the greatest.

8

My day at the Warhouse… with DLB and her Flag Nor Fail crew. It was pretty amazing. I mean- just to see DLB in real life and hear her talk like a normal person was so awesome. She was a PE/health teacher and played field hockey…. just like me…. so obviously, we were meant to be soul mates :-)

But for real- she shoots guns, camps with her dogs, listens to motivational music, lifts heavy ass weights, is OCD over training everyday, eats chicken & rice with hot sauce, and chugs coffee like it’s her job. I love her.

The day was, in fact, extremely long… I was getting really antsy to workout after sitting in a car for almost 3 hours, then sitting at the warhouse for another 9. They opened the gym up for a free lift around 7 pm. That’s when I got to work on my legs. I really didn’t have to much time, since my friend Natalie (a physique competitor/friend) and I had to drive back to MD.. but I got it done. I hit the legs hard and fast.

So yeah- pretty awesome day as a whole. Rob and Dana are so real. F-bombs, holding hands, bickering, cracking jokes… everything that makes me realize that my little dream of a figure competitor could in fact be something big… someday.

Thanks to my husband, who not only got the ticket for me to go, but stayed with the kids all day. Bonus points. :-D