Obi-Wan presses his forehead against Qui-Gon’s until it hurts. He runs his hands through Qui-Gon’s long hair, and breathes in the distinct smell of pine incense that surrounds the man.
“I’m not the man you knew,” Obi-Wan murmurs against his skin. “This war has changed me. Your death changed me.”
A hand wraps around the back of his neck, holding him softly.
“I’m sorry,” Qui-Gon says.
Obi-Wan winces, and squeezes his lips together. “It isn’t your fault.” because you aren’t him. As much as I want you to be, you aren’t him.
Qui-Gon pushes them forward until Obi-Wan is on his back in the bed, and Qui-Gon is over him, one hand holding his body above Obi-Wan’s. Dark hair frames his face, creating a curtain around Qui-Gon’s long face, and causing his eyes to look an even brighter blue than usual, like the glow of a hologram. “I’m still sorry,” he says. “More than I can say. For leaving you, and for coming back.”
“Qui-Gon…” Obi-Wan begins stiffly, ready and willing to argue, but the man above him shushes him.
“I see how much pain I cause you. I feel it.” Qui-Gon shakes his head, long hair swaying. “I would not trade away this life now that I have it. To me, I am Qui-Gon Jinn. He and I are one and the same, but I know that isn’t true with you. It never can be. That is something… something we must both learn to accept.”
I picked up the phone right away when he called, because well, I always picked up the phone for Niall. That’s just how our relationship – if that’s what you wanna call it – was, simple as. I had met Niall a little over three years back, introduced to him through a mutual friend while his band was stopped in LA during one of their tours. We hit it off immediately; him a super laid back, genuine, funny and incredibly intelligent guy who always had something interesting to talk about, and me…well, a complete sucker for all of the above and, of course, a good alcoholic beverage. It didn’t hurt that he was literally the cutest guy I had ever laid eyes on, though he was vastly aware of that fact.
I knew exactly who he was even before we had officially met, my friend heeding me a nice warning, I guess you could say. I kept an open mind meeting him but was instantly enamored and blown away by just how normal he actually was. If I hadn’t known how famous he was to begin with, I definitely wouldn’t have guessed just from hanging out with him; he was just that cool of a person. And he seemed pretty damn keen on me too.
We hooked up that very first night we met, going back to his hotel room and fucking the life out of one another. Definitely not in my plan but definitely not a regret on my part either. The sex was fucking fantastic, probably one of the best lays I had ever had and while Niall was eager to keep doing…whatever it was that we were doing, we both made it clear that it was to be nothing more than that. He was extremely busy, as was I with my own life, and he travelled so much that it just couldn’t be any other way.