i like the cas one better

“I miss the handprint,” Cas blurts out one night. Dean watches as his face falls, like he instantly regrets saying it. Those bright blue eyes dart around nervously, like he wishes he still had the power to poof out of the bunker and just disappear.

“What, the handprint you left on my arm?” Dean asks, confused.

Cas nods, looking once again like he’s going against his better judgment, and Dean’s breath catches in his throat. He clears it and tries not to let his reaction show.

“Why would you miss that?” Dean asks.

Dean knows why he misses it. He misses the comfort it used to give him, the solace of knowing that someone saved him, that there was someone who would always save him, even if it meant literally fighting his way through Hell. And as long as he never discusses it with Cas, he can even pretend that it was a sign that Cas truly cares, and not just because it was his assigned duty once upon a time.

But why would Cas miss it?

“I…” Cas pauses and tilts his head as he considers his words. “It used to make me feel connected to you. Like you were m-” He closes his mouth abruptly. “Never mind. It isn’t important.”

Dean swallows hard, and with a heart pounding so loudly in his ears he can barely hear his own voice, he answers. “Like I was what, Cas? Like I was yours?”

Cas stares with wide eyes as he nods.

Dean steps forward, hands shaking a little, until their noses are almost touching.
“I am, Cas. Handprint or not, I’ve been yours.”

Cas exhales then like he’s been holding it in for a long time, and lets his hand run up Dean’s arm as he leans in, not stopping until his fingers settle in the place they belong.

Can I Boop Your Nose?

Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,539

Warnings: being crazy? Dean being roofied haha

A/N: This is for @impalaimagining’s 2k celebration challenge!!! My word that I picked was ‘Crazed’…I hope that all of you enjoy this! Feedback is greatly appreciated!! :D (*Unbeta’d so any and all mistakes are mine! aka it might be total shit lol)

Dean never thought you’d ever go behind his back like you had a few nights ago. Here he was sitting in a chair, in the mental hospital, in the same room Sam was occupying but now it housed you instead. Dean watched as you sat on the bed, picking up imaginary flowers around you and then proceeded to hand them over to him. Cas told him that you would and have been reacting differently than Sam had. You still see Lucifer here and there, he bothers you at night and whispers lies in your ear. Other than that, it’s almost like your mind is this innocent psychotic child.  

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Finding Home

Summary:  After Cas is rejected by his homophobic parents, his roommate Dean invites him to stay for the holidays with him and his family.  He never expected it to turn into this.


“They don’t want me anymore.” 

Dean blinks in surprise, looking up to see his freshman roommate standing in the doorway, antiquated cellphone in his hands.  To his surprise, the kid looks to be on the verge of crying, which is strange – Dean’s joked with his friends about how emotionless Cas appears to be.  Or rather, had appeared to be, up till now. 

“Cas, you alright there, buddy?”  Dean asks, chair screeching as he pulls away from his desk.  He’d been trying to finish his research paper for his physiology class, but whatever Cas’s problem is seems to be more pressing. 

“They don’t want me,” Cas repeats, swallowing wetly.  “My parents.  They say don’t want me to come home for Christmas break, and they don’t want me contacting my siblings anymore.” 

Dean blinks comprehensively.  “What?  Why the hell not?” 

“They, ‘still love me,’” Cas snuffles, rubbing his nose with the sleeve of his ever-present beige trench coat with one arm and making quotey fingers with the other.  “But they ‘don’t approve of my lifestyle.’”  

Oh.  Oh, so that’s what this is about.  

Dean hasn’t known Cas for all that long, and he doesn’t know a whole lot about him:  just that he’s a bio major with plans to become a doctor (Dean himself is going into nursing), he’s cute (though he’d never, ever tell Cas that), not a little weird, and yeah, if the time he’d come home to find him making out with Crowley (the poncy British upperclassman from accounting who Dean already loathes with a passion) he is into guys.

His parents must not have been cool with it. 

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  • Someone: Hey why are you crying?
  • Me in tears: I just lost a loved one.
  • Someone: Oh I know what it's like to lose a family member.
  • Me thinking about dean telling cas he's family, Cas telling dean he loves him, dean saying cas is his best friend, Sam hugging castiel: *Starts sobbing harder* IT JUST HURTS SO MUCH!
Writing Is Hard

Summary: Dean finds the blog you use to read smutty fan fiction. And of course, he decides he can write a better story about himself. You help.

Warning: Smut, some dirty talk, mutual masturbation, all kinds of fan fiction clichés

Word Count: 4350

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. And thanks to @littlegreenplasticsoldier​ for being a great beta and being generally flawless. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


No. This isn’t happening.

This is one of those moments you’d had weird nightmares about, dreams that left you embarrassed and feeling all icky the next day until you finally convinced yourself that it wasn’t real. And just like those moments, this one will end any second now. You’ll wake up in some motel bed, Dean will be in the next room with Sam, asleep or showering or eating or anything but standing over your laptop with that look on his face.

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Family: 12x12 Coda

“Castiel?” Mary tapped lightly on his door.

“He spent the night with Dean,” Sam told her. He was leaning in his own doorway.

“Oh? I just wanted to check in on him. I suppose Dean’s keeping an eye on him.” She smiled knowingly. “Are they…? I mean he told Dean he loved him last night.”

Sam shrugged. “If know. I half expected Dean to drive off somewhere in the middle of the night and drink himself stupid. He doesn’t do feelings.” He put an arm around his mother and walked her to the kitchen for some coffee and a longer chat.

“The waitress yesterday morning?” Mary asked.

“Classic Dean. Alpha male, pack leader. Clearly not interested in her but still asserts his masculinity. He knows Cas isn’t looking to hook up with anyone. He’s not the casual sex kind of guy.”

“And you and Dean are?” It was a fair enough question.

Sam shifted in his seat uncomfortably. Not a topic he wanted to discuss with his mother. “No time for relationships. Let’s leave it at that. And not so much for one night stands the past couple years. I think we went and got too old for it.”

“Maybe it’s because Dean has Castiel. Maybe the whole show yesterday was to throw us off, keep it a secret. But when you’re dying you say things you think you may never say again.”

Sam cleared his throat. Dean stumbled into the kitchen with an equally half awake angel behind him. They grunted their greetings to the other Winchesters and Cas flopped down beside Mary whilst Dean fixed them some coffee. They noticed Cas was wearing some of Dean’s things and his hair was particularly unruly like he’d actually slept.

“Rough night?” Sam asked. He figured one of them would answer him.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve slept. Dean’s bed is quite comfortable, though. It was easier to rest than I anticipated.” Cas was straightforward as usual.

Mary looked to Dean. He didn’t look remotely flustered. No posturing. “Did you get any sleep, Dean?”

“Better than I have in years.”

Sam fought a smirk. “So you slept…together?”

Dean glared at him over his cup. “You got a problem with that?”

Sam shrugged again. “You wanna be cuddle buddies with Cas that’s fine with me. Mom?” He shifted the focus to Mary.

She put her arm around Cas. “I think it’s wonderful that you have each other.” She hugged him to her side. “My boys. My Winchester boys.”

“You’re definitely a Winchester, Cas.” Sam reached across the table to pat his hand. “Whether Dean makes an honest man out of you or not, you’ll always be my brother.”

“Honest man? I am an honest man, Sam.” Cas looked confused.

“He means if we get hitched, married, tie the knot.”

“Oh. I’m afraid we couldn’t wear white as tradition - “

“Oh Jesus Christ, Cas!” Dean shouted. He immediately covered his eyes in embarrassment. Sam and Mary just burst into giggles and eventually Dean broke and joined them.

My family, Cas thought to himself. What did I get myself into?

“You’re My It” Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 1,475

Dean Winchester x Reader

Request:  Could you write one (or more) about Dean? Where the reader is Dean’s ex but she got pregnant before the broke up. And Sam or Cas see her and the kid one day and tell Dean, who gets drunk and shows up at her door (with a little help from sweet Cas)?

Warnings: Angst, fluff

Flashbacks are in italics.


You and Dean had officially been together for a year now, but unofficially, it’d been almost your entire life. You were Bobby’s daughter- you grew up together. There had always been something there.

A few years ago, when Dean was cured from being a demon, you were the first person he wanted to tell. That made him realize that he didn’t want to wait any longer. He wanted to be with you one hundred percent. He loved you. He had asked you to be his girlfriend officially last year.

You’re now standing in your kitchen, finishing up making dinner for your one year anniversary. It’s been a rocky road, and lately, it’s been worse. He’s been distant and gone more, and you admit that you’d grown more emotional and needy. It’s only because you’re pregnant, but Dean doesn’t know that yet. You’re planning on telling him tonight. All you want is a good night with your boyfriend, is that too hard to ask for?

No, it’s not. Which is why you’re busting your ass to make this anniversary perfect. You’re making his favorite dinner, rented his favorite movie, and even found the cutest way to announce your pregnancy. You’re sure he’ll take it well, and that he’ll be excited. His dad was a big part of his life, and one time when he got drunk he had told you that whenever he became a dad he was determined to be a better one.

“Y/N?” A voice came through the door, keys clinking together. Dean’s home.

“Hey babe, I’m in the kitchen!” You call out.

Dean comes into the kitchen, and he looks dead tired. You can see it in his eyes- he’s worn out. He’s stressed, but of course he doesn’t talk to you about it. He doesn’t talk to you about anything lately.

“Is this all for me?” His eyes widen, wandering around the room.

“Yeah, happy one year.” You kiss his cheek.

“Oh.” He furrows his brows. Your stomach sinks. Of course he forgot.

“You seriously forgot?” Your mouth drops a little, sadness filling your heart.

“I’m sorry.” He sighs. “Look, Y/N…”

“What?” You’re afraid of what he’s going to say. You’ve been feeling it coming for a while, you’ll admit. But now? Tonight? All you can do is hope that he doesn’t.

“I just… I don’t think this, us, is working. You know I love you, but I just think we need some time apart. There’s a lot of shit happening right now, with Lucifer and Chuck and Amara, I just… I can’t. I’m sorry.” Dean says, a look in his eyes you can’t quite read.

You’re silent. There it was. Those words you’ve been dreading.

“Okay.” You say quietly.

“I love you. I just need time.” Dean repeated.

-

You’re now walking down the street of the mall, you’re favorite place to go. The mall in Denver was outside, which made it easier to not only enjoy the warm weather, but to push around baby Nina. She loved going on “walks,” which made it easy for you since you loved shopping.

After Dean broke up with you two years ago, you didn’t even bother telling him you were pregnant. If he was too stressed and busy to deal with you, the girl who’d practically been with him his entire life, he certainly couldn’t handle a baby. So, after you moved out of the bunker, you packed up and moved to a city you’d never even been to before- Denver. You moved into a small apartment, and got a decent job.

Baby Nina is now a year old, and she’s the cutest little thing. She inherited Dean’s looks, right down to the sparking green eyes. She’s beautiful.

You’re about to go into Victoria’s Secret when you see a man down the street staring at you intensely. He has brown hair and a…trench coat?

“Cas?” You say out, not believing your eyes. You haven’t seen Cas since who knows how long. It was before yours and Dean’s breakup, since he was possessed by Lucifer. Actually, now that you think of it, you have no idea how that turned out. He could still be Lucifer for all you know.

Cas is suddenly standing beside you, an unreadable expression on his face. You can tell by just looking at him that this was Cas, and not Lucifer.

“Oh my god, I’ve missed you.” You hug him. He stands stiff, but wraps one arm around you after a few minutes.

“Who is this?” Cas looks down at the stroller at Nina, who is now sleeping peacefully.

“Oh. This…” You trail off. There’s no point in lying. “This is my daughter.”

“And she’s Dean’s?”

“Please don’t tell him.” You beg. “He left, it was his choice. He left me.”

“Y/N…”

“Cas, promise me.”

“I… I promise.” Cas sighs.

-

After the encounter with Castiel, you went back to your apartment quickly. That blast into the past was enough for you for the day. It brought back memories you thought you had put behind you.

Nina had just fallen asleep in her crib for the night, so you were finally free to do whatever. You walk into your kitchen, grabbing a beer out of the fridge. God knows you need one. You walk over to your living room, turning on the TV to watch whatever was on. Anything would do right now, you just wanted to escape your mind.

You were getting really into the trashy reality TV show that was playing when it happened. He showed up. There was a knocking on the door, and you didn’t even bother to look through the peephole. It was probably just your landlord.

You opened the door, and there he was. Dean. You hadn’t seen him since that night. He hasn’t aged one bit, if anything, he looks better. He looks younger, less stressed than he was before. He looked amazing. Of course he did. He’s Dean.

“Cas ratted me out, didn’t he?” You were the first to speak.

“Can I meet her?” He says quietly. You nodded, and let him inside.

You walk him into her bedroom, and he audibly gasps when he sees her. He walks slowly over to her crib, as if he walked any faster a bomb would go off. He takes her hand in his, and a soft smile grows on his face.

“She looks like me.” He whispers. It was dark in the room, but you could swear you saw a tear fall down his cheek.

“I’m gonna… I’m gonna give you some time.” Your voice comes out shakier than you were wanting, and you exit the room. You walk over to your couch, and sit down shakily. You have no idea what you’re going to tell him.

A few minutes later, Dean comes out of her bedroom. He looks hurt.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He says, sitting down next to you on the couch.

“I was going to. The night you left me.” You whisper. “But then after that… You couldn’t handle being a father. You were dealing with Amara, for God’s sake.”

“I’m so sorry.” He says, taking you by surprise. Why was he sorry? “I shouldn’t have done that. I let everything that was happening leak into my relationship with you. I messed up. This is all my fault. And now I have a daughter that I don’t even know because of it.” He choked out.

“Dean, its fine. I was mad at first, but seriously, I’ve let it go. I understand now.” You say truthfully.

“Y/N, I still love you, you know that right?” Dean says, a serious look on his face. “After everything was fixed, you were the one person I wanted to come to. But I thought that I couldn’t. I couldn’t face you, not after what I did. I’m hurting, Y/N, I need you. I need to be there for Nina.”

“Dean…”

“I love you so much. You’re it- you’re it for me. You and Nina. You’re my life now. Please, let me be here for you. If you can ever forgive me.”

“I forgave you a long time ago.” A weak smile on your face forms. “I love you too.”

Dean kisses you, so softly that you almost thought your mind was playing tricks on you. You bring your hands around his head, bringing him in closer. You missed this, you missed him.

“You’re my it, too, Dean.”

12x19 Deconstruction: Part II - The Mixtape Exchange


(A MIXTAPE, GUYS. A GODDAMN MIXTAPE!)

So, yeah, there really wasn’t anything else I could possibly call this piece of dialogue, was there? Nope. Let’s set the scene:

Dean is at his computer. There’s a knock on the door. Cas opens it, pauses, and what we learn from this, by the way, is that Cas was waiting for a response and when he didn’t get one he proceeded inside, thinking Dean wasn’t there. What does this visual exposition tell us?

a) Dean’s bedroom is not off limits to Cas if Dean’s not there, because there’s trust
b) Cas didn’t come to the room looking for Dean

The reason Cas goes to Dean’s room is to get the Colt - the mixtape is just his excuse. So, then, what an utterly beautiful tool of exposition this innocent piece of prop becomes, and how incredibly well it’s used to highlight exactly what the problem has always been in this relationship: the lack of fucking communication. In fact, not only does the mixtape highlight the lack of communication, it goes further as it turns that problem on it’s head completely when, suddenly, both of these men open up to each other. And the fact that Cas is there on a mission, that he’s effectively playing Dean, doesn’t take away from all the truth that is in this exchange as well. Not that there’s complete honesty. Not just yet, but it’s coming. Oh, it’s absolutely on the horizon. It has to be. And this exchange is, as so many others, riddled with subtext which makes the interpretation of it layered to the extreme, but what I have on offer today is my take. So, here goes:

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What even was that episode of SPN?

The Colt is back (gonna be honest, I don’t even remember how the Winchesters lost it in the first place).

Azazel wasn’t the only yellow-eyed demon. Two more are still out there. For the briefest second I had hoped that it was Azazel we saw tonight. Now I’m having a ton of Azazel feels because I miss him so much.

Cas said “I love you” before saying “I love all of you” because that first one was obviously directed at just Dean.

LUCY!!! And, even better, MARK!LUCY!!! I was not expecting that.

It’s like they knew I was going to have a yucky day today so they chose to air this particular episode tonight.

Supernatural 12x23

I honestly hate to rant but my bb Cas deserves this And yes Misha is a regular next season but couldn’t that just be Dean imagining him, or hallucinating again… Now, I understand that I am not a writer for the show, and none of us are. But seriously? Cas? Of all characters?! Rowena, I understand she was a favorite for some people, and Crowley had an honorable death (that still broke me a lil’ bit) but Casti fricking el? Cas has been a main character, no, an important character, for the past eight seasons. Supernatural won’t be he same without them. I’m not going to venture into the past few character deaths that were unjust, (Eileen, Rowena,etc.) but imma stick to my buddy Cas. Honestly, I don’t know how they could just kill off Cas like he was not important! They didn’t even give him a line! There is no reason, none at all, that they should’ve killed him off. I’m honestly trying so hard to think of one good reason…ONE. I also understand that a lot of you think Chuck or the devil spawn is going to bring him back, and I know they’ve killed all of hem off multiple times before but you have to remember that it is the twelfth season going on thirteen. If the thirteenth isn’t the final season then there can’t be an awful lot more can there? Cas is dead. For good. But what he left. WHO he left. Is in frickin ruins. Castiel is an angel of the stinking lord, he could’ve been if some importance in the next season. And he didn’t even get a final line! The last thing he heard was Dean screaming his name and he didn’t even get a final line. Cas deserved a whole lot better than this shiz. Now let’s talk about Dean. The man that made Castiel fall from heaven. The one that was broken when Cas was still in purgatory and he wasn’t. The man that went through heaven and hell to save Cas. The man that gave Cas a mixtape The man that got nervous when Cas didn’t answer his phone for a few days The man that loved Cas, platonically or not, no one can deny the more than profound bond that they share. (No I am not making this about Destiel,) Dean was broken when Cas was in purgatory, but he knew that Cas was more than likely still alive, and Dean was broken at the fact that Cas wanted him to leave purgatory without him that he would rather think he left Cas than the alternative which was hat Cas didn’’t want to go home with Dean. Now, knowing Dean was empty and miserable when Cas was in Purgatory. We can’t even imagine what horrors await Dean in the next season. He watched Cas die right in front of him. Dean crumpled to his knees at the sight of Cas dead and his wings burnt around the two of them. The next season can go in a few directions with Cas’s death One: they can bring Cas back and all will be merry again. (Highly unlikely) Two: Dean can be extremely depressed about Cas to the point where he is hallucinating again. So broken this time that I don’t think there would ever be a happy ending for Dean. (Likely) Three: Dean doesn’t get depressed. Now, if this is the direction the writers are planning to go in…I will honestly quit watching. They have already ruined every single characters plot line, and if they do this then they are digging their own graves. I’m not saying I want Dean to be broken and depressed, believe me when I say I would want Cas back no matter what, but honestly, it would be so out of character for Dean not to care that I would slam myself into a brick wall. Dean cares too much about everything, but doesn’t show it. If Dean hallucinates Cas after purgatory I bet my ass that he will hallucinate after he dies right in front of him! (Unlikely) Four: Dean can sell his soul again. He talked to Mary about doing so earlier in the episode. So maybe this is what the writer have planned? Honestly this wouldn’t be in character-like of Dean. So I wouldn’t be surprised, but I would be so heart broken if it did because we all know Sammy’ll try and stop it and then when it does happen, Cas’ll be so mad at Dean. Ugh. (Highly unlikely) Five: Dean can be so hellbent on revenge that he rips apart worlds just to avenge Cas. Honestly,, this’d be entertaining. Now believe me, I don’t like my Dean-o to be hurt. So any of these directions hurts like hell. But. This would be likely of Dean. This is one of his characteristics, so I don’t doubt that the writers may use this (likely) Castiel deserved better, Misha deserves better, We deserve better than this. Supernatural will not be the same with out Castiel. Neither will team free will. Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. -Robert Frost We love you, we will miss you, goodbye Cas Wait you know what?! Cas isn’t right. Goodbye, Castiel Winchester

Originally posted by toqaahmed

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What’s Mine Is Yours

Originally posted by luisafuchsluisa

Summary: Cas asks reader an interesting question that leads to something surprising…

Pairing: Dean x reader (x Cas)

Word Count: 2,200ish

Warnings: smut (oral, threesome), language

A/N: Look what I found hiding in my drafts. Sharing is caring, am I right?…


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Up Close and Personal

gif is not mine

Title: Up Close and Personal

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Word Count: 1,238

Warnings: fluff

A/N: This was requested by @mylittlesupertimewolf! I hope you all enjoy this! Feedback is welcomed and appreciated! I love you all so much! <3

While Sam and Dean were at another location on a hunt, you and Castiel were doing the dirty work.  Which meant that you had to dig up a body and salt and burn it.  You had only known Castiel for a few weeks.  You still felt awkward around the angel, but to be fair, he felt the same way around you.  He never had the chance to acquaint himself with you, since you spent most of your time hunting.

“Are you sure this is the right grave Castiel,” you asked, setting the shovel down on the grass next to the six foot deep hole.  Castiel grabbed onto your arm, hoisting you out of the grave.  “I don’t wanna get this one wrong.”

“I’m sure,” Castiel affirmed.  “This is the man’s grave we are looking for.”  Castiel did a double take towards the grave.  The body you and him were supposed to salt and burn was gone, and the casket was open.

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I wonder if all the people who are calling Cas OOC have ever watched earlier seasons.

Season 6: Went behind Dean’s back and worked with Crowley. Kept Dean in the dark for Dean’s “own” good.

Season 8: Left Dean in Purgatory as soon as they landed. Made a unilateral decision on Dean’s behalf for Dean’s own good.

Season 8: Vanished with the angle tablet after beating Dean up bloody. Presumably because he knows better than mere humans like Dean.

Season 11: Said yes to Lucifer without even asking or informing Dean.

There is a pattern here. Castiel often takes one-sided decisions involving Dean’s well-being, without consulting or informing Dean, under the guise of doing it for Dean’s own good. Whenever Cas engages in questionable actions, he doesn’t ask Dean, he doesn’t talk to him, instead he simply disappears and refuses to respond to Dean’s prayers and questions.  Later, when things inevitably go south, he often uses “I did it for you Dean” as an excuse. (which is extremely fucked up btw)

Dean worries not because he can’t be away from his “boyfriend” but because he is left completely in the dark, with no options and no information and no means to contact his feathered friend. Wouldn’t you feel frustrated and helpless if you were in Dean’s place? repeatedly?

So, no, Castiel is not acting OOC this season. As far as his history and personality are considered –he is perfectly in character. 

anonymous asked:

please tell me they won't be so shitty to kill off cas permanently and replace him with an alternate cas that won't be our cas

pffft. no.

I’ve seen both episodes twice now, and I want to watch them both again before I write proper meta, but Dabb wasn’t lying. HE IS UNDOING THE ENTIRE NARRATIVE.

We’ve gone back to 1973, and seen what would’ve happened if Mary had left John dead there… if Sam and Dean had never been born… which they’d said would be BETTER in 5.13…

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CALLBACKS THERE WERE TO 5.13 IN THIS FINALE?!

This is actually why I wore my Lucky Led Zeppelin t-shirt… which is “The Song Remains the Same.”

I wore a meta-relevant Led Zeppelin t-shirt. On purpose.

Kelly telling the baby that an angel was watching over him.

Dean and Sam and Cas seeing that the world was 100% NOT BETTER if they’d never been born.

Absolute proof that no matter what else had happened in their lives, the world is better for all the crap that Heaven and Hell have put them through all their lives.

SOMETIMES DOING THE RIGHT THING IS THE HARD THING, but it sure beats the hell out of the alternative.

But just like Bobby, whatever “Castiel” is in the alternate universe, it’s not OUR Cas… it’s not Dean’s Cas.

And what would be the POINT of bringing Cas through two thirds of his journey and then swap him out for a fake? One from a world where Dean doesn’t even EXIST?!

No, I am still trying to hold the magnitude of the whole story in my head, but GAH!

No, our Cas is going to be back…

13 Best Traxx: A Coda for 12x19

He walked up to the truck like he was a bit nervous. Cas watched him as he approached. He was already in the driver’s seat, ready to go. Dean didn’t think the watching was making it any easier. He had thought before about just leaving the tape in the truck for him to find the next time he was away. He changed his mind though and made it more personal.

“Here.” Dean held it out to him. Cas just stared at it a moment before taking it. Their fingers brushed a little in the exchange.

“Music?” Cas looked from the mix tape to Dean. 

“Yeah, I figured it must get pretty boring burning up the miles with nothing to listen to but am radio.”

“I’ve been listening to a lot of evangelical talk radio,” Cas shared.

Dean cringed. “Sounds like hell.”

“Some are better than others. It fills the silence.” Cas set the tape in the deck. 

“Well, this’ll fill the silence better. It’s all of the best of Zepp. It doesn’t get any better than that.” Dean smiled at him, clearly pleased with the thought of Cas listening to the music.

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas reached down to the key to start the car. He was heading off on another search for Kelly.

Dean watched him hesitate, hand hovering around the key. Dean leaned in the open window frame. “Are you gonna call me when you get where you’re going?”

Cas turned to him. “Of course.” He smiled a little at Dean.

Dean moved out of the window frame and opened the door. He got in the passenger seat. “Let me tell you about the songs.” Dean pushed in the tape. It started playing way too loudly. “Whoa, Cas. You blasting the am preachers?”

Cas turned it down. “They didn’t seem so loud.” 

“So this one is called, ‘Communication Breakdown.’” Dean drummed his fingers on the dash. “It’s got solid lyrics too.”

“It sounds good.” Cas tapped the steering wheel a little. Dean wondered if he was jonesing to go. 

“Sorry, you probably need to get on the road.” Dean started to get out.

Cas stopped him with a hand to his arm. “I’m not in a hurry.”

“Not in a hurry to find the little devil baby that could?”

Cas shook his head. “No, I don’t even know that this lead will mean a thing.”

“It might though.”

Cas tapped the front of the tape deck. “What else is on here?” 

Dean turned down the volume and said, “Bunch of stuff on there. I added ‘Whole Lotta Love.’ It had some solid lyrics too. Page kicked some ass in that one.”

“So I should listen closely to the words?” Cas asked.

Dean wondered how he should answer that question. What would Cas assume? “Yeah, the words are part of what makes these the best of Zepp.”

“So it said that it was thirteen of the best songs. Any other stand outs in the mix?” Cas was smiling again.

“I popped ‘Black Dog’ on there. It’s iconic. Crank that one up when it comes on.”

“How will I know which one that is?”

“Seriously, Cas. You’re acting like you’ve never been in the car with me. We sang that one when we went on that hunt in Iowa.”

Cas cocked his head to the side, remembering. “Hey, hey mama, said the way you move, gonna make you sweat gonna make you groove,” Cas sang out a little timidly. “That one?”

“Yeah that one. Geesh, you’d think me playing it over and over ‘til you memorized it would have some sort of impact.”

“Perhaps I was just trying to block the memory.” And there he was smiling again.

Dean laughed at him. “Bet you can guess one of the other songs then.” Dean barely had time to wonder if Cas would remember.

“Going to California,” Cas said without missing a beat. “I like that one. It was calm.

“Yeah, we gotta break up the harder ones.”

“Well, I’m looking forward to hearing them all.”

Dean was leaning for the door. “Call me when you get there. I expect a full report on which ones you like best.”

“I’ll listen to the lyrics closely and tell you everything tonight.” He reached over to Dean’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “When this is all done, do you think we’ll have time to finally talk?”

“Yes.” Dean didn’t pause. He wanted to talk. He kept thinking that maybe they’d never get the chance. He noticed then that Cas’ hand was still on his own. 

“I feel like I never get to really be here. I come home, then I’m pulled away.”

“Yeah, it’s maybe what I was thinking when I made you the tape.” He ran his thumb in a small arch over Cas’ hand. “So, make sure you call me, frequently.”

Cas leaned toward him and brushed his lips over the edge of Dean’s lips. “I’ll call tonight. I’ll come home as soon as I can.”

“You better.” Cas let his hand go and started the truck. Dean got out of the truck. 

He gave Cas a small wave with one hand and patted the window frame with his other hand. He took a step back. Cas gave him a small smile as he stared at him for one moment longer. Then he drove slowly away. Dean watched him with a growing feeling of longing heavy in his stomach. He’d come home though. Dean thought, at least there’s something to look forward to.

Part two of this prompt fill for @wayward-authors-kitsune

college!au, angst with a happy ending

Avoiding Cas is surprisingly easy.

All Dean has to do is block him on all social media sites, park his car down the street at a friend’s house so Cas never knows when he’s home, rely more on public transportation to get to campus, and finally just never leave his apartment except for class.

Easy peasy.

That is, until Dean needs to go to the grocery store. He’s been living off Ramen noodles and mac and cheese for weeks now, too afraid to stop anywhere near campus in case Cas is nearby. 

But now he’s officially all out of beer and Captain Morgan and he figures he could probably use some non-microwaveable groceries while he’s out. 

He goes to the little market about four blocks away. He hits up the essentials first: booze, some hamburger, hot dogs, bread, eggs. He considers produce but immediately shakes that thought loose and decides that he’s entitled to some ice cream instead.

“Dean?”

Dean freezes,  carton half way to his basket. It takes everything in him to turn around and the moment he connects with blue eyes he really wishes he hadn’t.

Cas looks sick staring back at him, eyes glasses over with a sort of disbelief, like he thinks he’s seeing a ghost. 

He says Dean’s name again but Dean doesn’t respond. They’re both tense, like they’re about to draw on each other in an old western movie instead of standing in a damn milk aisle. 

As awkward as the moment it, Dean almost wishes they could stay like this. Because it’s good to see Cas, the flesh and blood Cas. He’s missed him like you miss air when you’re holding your breath. But he also knows that if Cas talks, if he tries to come at him, Dean will run. He can feel his knees bracing for a take-off and he’s not ready to look away.

But Cas does it. He takes a step forward and Dean immediately takes one back. Cas’s eyes travel down to Dean’s feet and he looks hurt.

“Dean, please, let me-” He takes two quick steps and Dean is speeding past the checkout lines, dropping the basket somewhere alone the way.

He doesn’t breathe again until he’s back in his apartment. He falls on the couch and draws he knees up, settling his head between his legs as he sucks in breaths and lets his head clear.

He’s so fucked. So impossibly fucked. 

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Aches and Pains

Castiel x Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: mention of sleeplessness, fluff, ALL OF THE SMUT.

A/N: Titles are not one of my strengths. Anyway, and this was an Anon request that I got a few days ago. I hope it’s okay… Enjoy?

Anon Request – “hello love! i absolutely adore your writing and i wish i had the kind of motivation you do. but i don’t, so i have a request! do you think you could do one about human!cas being tense and sore and having issues sleeping so the reader (who’s like secretly in love with him) offers to give him a massage and some tips on how to get to sleep better??? maybe throw in some smut (teaching him to jerk it??? idk whatever you like) you don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable. thanks doll

The moans and groans coming from the other side of the wall made your stomach sink. For the last three weeks, you knew Cas had been having trouble sleeping, but tonight was the worst so far. You had just ended a big hunt, Cas’s first as a human. He as having a hard time accepting the fact that he wasn’t some tough, invincible Angel of the Lord anymore. And worse, he needed to sleep, which meant nightmares.

You turned over in bed as you tried to drown out the former angel’s cries. But it was no use, he was miserable, and you needed to help him. You loved him, and you couldn’t leave him like this.

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Seven Things About Supernatural: 12x15 - Somewhere Between Heaven And Hell

So.  Davy Perez.  We’re still keeping him.

  1. We come into this ep after the boys have been on back-to-back-to-back hunts, and…things are off.  Dean is acting out a bit: not worrying about getting covered in gore or bothering with basic hygiene, doing a kind of amped-up version of his usual snark, playing dumb, being extra crass, etc.

    Obviously we don’t have anything direct from him about that, but my immediate interpretation is that he’s using hunts like a drug: to numb the stress and pain associated with Mary joining up with the BMoL.  Sam gets another ping and he’s ready to go, despite the fact that he’s almost certainly got to be exhausted.  The gore?  I’ve got a shiny nickel that it’s somewhere between protective coloration – the grosser he is the less likely people will interact – and passive self-destructive behavior.  

    TL;DR, Dean’s mental health could be better and it shows.  (Aside: Does getting into Sam’s good shampoo count as self-care?  Asking for a friend.)
  2. Can we just take a moment to enjoy the fact that this is the Crowley Appreciation Episode our King has long deserved?  Not only does he get thanked by both Winchesters (Dean grudgingly thanks him for saving Cas, Sam thanks him for his assistance with the hellhound hunt), but he gets a hug from the civilian of the week.  

    Oh, and that whole “keeping Lucifer chained up isn’t going to work” thing we were all doing?  Yeah, the payoff there was pretty fucking breathtaking.  I won’t lie: some of my enthusiasm here is seated in my general dislike of Lucifer as a character.  But…well…this just got interesting.  It wasn’t interesting before.  
  3. This is a damn good episode for props.  The Negan-style bat, the hellhound glasses (which are badass both on and off the boys – that shot through them after they get knocked to the ground was phenomenal), and even the green cooler gets to be a weapon.  Plus, a couple of GISHWHES shout-outs in the paranoiac’s office: a globe of Mars and Queen Elizabeth II in space, and we see that Sam’s continuing with the Tolkien theme re: the BMoL.  That said, poor Baby.  We knew when Dean made a big deal out of Sam driving her that Bad Things were afoot, but damn.  Cruelty. 
  4. As hellhounds go, Ramsey’s kind of unique.  She stalks Gwen, creeps in behind Dean instead of just tearing through the door or crashing through a window.  She seems a little smaller, too, than some of the hounds we’ve seen before.  Selective breeding?  And hey, more lore!  Hounds like dens!  Hell has a kennel!  
  5. So we see a shift in who’s interacting with whom when the Winchesters arrive at the death scene.  Sam’s on with Mary, while Dean’s on with Cas.  

    The Sam-Mary interaction is novel: it’s mostly been Dean and Mary communicating until last week, when Sam is responsive to her calls.  Dean and Cas have maintained communications throughout, but combine that scene of the brothers having separate convos with the fact that Dean catches on that there’s something off about Cas when he calls about Kelly, and this may be foreshadowing for a split/conflict later in the season: Team Sam and Mary v. Team Dean and Cas.  
  6. So this season continues to break down the Patented Winchester Betrayal Via Lies And Omission™ thing with Sam coming clean very quickly about aligning with the BMoL.  There was disagreement on the couch with his assessment that they can be thanked for the death of the Alpha Vamp – that was 99% Winchester with the main BMoL contribution being the presence of the tool and Mick’s willingness to take risks as part of the team – but he may be giving them credit for drawing the Alpha out with Project V.  

    I am still on the fence about his motives, but the way he talks to Dean about this in the ep suggests that he may actually be earnest in his choice, and that he’s giving the BMoL an actual chance.  I can’t think of a reason for him to keep Dean in the dark if he’s infiltrating to destroy rather than working in good faith, and his confession would have been an ideal time to tell Dean if he’s doing it purely for Mary’s sake.  
  7. I am worried about Cas.  So worried.  So.  Very.  Worried.  

    Kelvin’s dangling some pretty enticing things his way – reconciliation with Heaven, the love of his family of origin, etc. – and Cas is appropriately wary.  In fact, I don’t think he’d have gone at all if Joshua hadn’t been mentioned.  As angels go, Joshua has always stood out as a unique player in things.  He stayed out of politics, tended the Garden, spoke to God.

    So I can see why Cas is willing to entertain the notion that there is something worthwhile here to consider.  The problem is that I don’t think Kelvin’s being entirely forthright, and that Heaven rarely, if ever, has had Castiel’s interests at heart.

    And, given that Cas is supposed to be “powered up” at some point this season…well, it feels like a trap.  

Bonus Thing: 
Crowley really needs to recruit better help.  These demon minions of the week, and the sheer absurdity of the bureaucracy is killing me.  I miss Guthrie.  Guthrie knew what he was about. 

Bonus Thing #2:
Okay, but Dean and Crowley absolutely rubbed off on one another on multiple occasions during his and Dean’s whole Summer of Love, and Crowley’s got the Flickr album to prove it.

Bonus Thing #3: 
Gwen Hernandez: self-rescuing and Winchester-rescuing civilian of the week.  Let us all applaud her courage and skill.  Fuck ‘em up, Gwen. 

Anonymous asked: (jock!dean & nerd!cas) Cas sending Dean one of those school anon flower valentines day things with a little personalized note (cough cough mean girls) but thinking he’s not going to notice his specially. Little does he know Dean sent one to him as well.

Castiel was staring at the bulletin board, his mouth dry and his heart hammering against his rib cage as he read the new announcement.

Valentine’s Day 2016 at Lawrence High

Anonymously send a rose with personal note to the one you desire, our cupid will deliver the message on Friday February 12th.’

There was more information about how and where to leave your message, but Castiel knew that he had to talk himself out of this horrible idea before he gave in. Because he was this close to actually doing it. This close to acting on his feelings, to throw caution to the wind. This close to finally doing something about his crush on the most popular guy in school.

“Hey, Cas!” A cheerful voice called his name from not too far away, and suddenly an arm was casually draped around his shoulder. “I can already tell what you’re thinking, and I think that you should go for it.”

Charlie Bradbury, Castiel’s best friend, was wiggling her eyebrows at him, nodding at the school’s special Valentine’s offer.

Castiel sighed, shaking his head. “It’s pointless, we both know that.”

“Oh come on, you won’t know for sure if you don’t try!” Charlie countered immediately, one of her hands ruffling Castiel’s hair. “And honestly, if I have to watch you pine after Dean Winchester for another year, I will end up needing therapy.”

“It is not funny.” Castiel grumbled, giving his friend a sideways glare.

“You’re right, it’s not.” Charlie agreed. “Therapy costs a fortune.

“Charlie!” Castiel warned, lightly smacking his friend’s arm as he continued to glower at her.

Charlie surrendered, holding up her hands, calling a truce.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry! I’m just saying, as a friend, that this is your chance, Cas. And it’s anonymous, so what do you have to lose, really?”

Castiel sighed, staring at the bulletin board again as he pondered that question.

“My sanity?” He offered after some time had passed.

Charlie shrugged. “Even better. If it doesn’t work out you can join me in therapy, maybe we’ll get a group discount.”

When Castiel reached out to reprimand her with another gentle slap to the arm, she moved out of the way before he could strike.

“Look, all I’m saying is, think about it. And before you start the whole he’s-popular-and-I’m-not argument again… It shouldn’t matter, as far as I know, Dean’s nice to everyone.” Charlie said, more serious now. “I gotta get to class, but I’ll see you at lunch, alright?”

Castiel muttered a goodbye in return when Charlie turned around and took off, feeling anxious as he considered the idea once more. The wise thing would be to forget about it altogether…

~

One week later, Castiel was deeply regretting the decision he’d made.

February 12th. He froze in his seat the second the door to the classroom opened in the middle of Math class. In walked Garth Fitzgerald, the janitor. Some students said that Garth wasn’t right in the noodle. When looking at him now, dressed in nothing but a giant white diaper with a pair of fake wings and a bow and arrow to match, Castiel suspected that they were right.

“I come bearing gifts.” Garth declared in a dramatic tone, holding up his right hand, the one that held at least fifteen red roses.

To make matters worse, of course it had to happen during the only class that Castiel shared with Dean. This was a scene taken directly from one of Castiel’s worst nightmares.

Garth was handing out roses here and there, and Castiel bit his lip, sinking lower in his chair, mortified. Jo Harvelle got one, and so did Victor Henriksen. Meg Masters got two, and Meg’s friend Ruby had scored three.

“Dean Winchester, six for you, the school record.” Garth whistled as he dumped the roses on Dean’s desk with an elegant hand gesture.

Dean frowned, green eyes narrowing. He looked sincerely surprised.

Castiel breathed out for the first time in what felt like ages, feeling a little defeated. Dean got six, of course. It wasn’t the first time that Castiel was reminded of just how doomed his infatuation with the guy truly was. He made up his mind there and then; he was never going to confess that one of those roses was his doing. Dean would never know that one of the messages came from Castiel, and everything would go back to normal.

“Castiel Novak, one for you.”

Castiel flinched when Garth’s voice was practically singing his name. Next thing he knew, a rose was placed on his desk. Almost all of Castiel’s classmates were staring at him, shock painted on their faces. Dean wasn’t one of them though, he was stiffly staring down at the roses on his own desk.

Garth had already moved on to another victim, and Castiel blinked at his rose, dumbstruck. There had to be some kind of misunderstanding. No one ever even paid attention to shy Castiel Novak with the dorky glasses.

Curious nonetheless, Castiel discreetly checked the card.

‘You’re awesome, don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. PS: I think I could drown in your eyes, and I wouldn’t even mind if did.’

Castiel tried to hide a laugh. This had ‘Charlie’ written all over it. This was a typical case of Castiel’s best friend trying to make him feel better. He could appreciate the joke, and he was kind of thankful that she’d taken the time to make him feel like less of an outcast.

He decided to go find her as soon as class ended, so that he could thank her.

~

Charlie was at the library, using one of the school computers. Castiel grinned as he hugged her from behind, surprising her.

“Whoa, Cas. What was that for? You never hug unless it’s a matter of life or death.” Charlie accused as she turned her head, dragging her eyes away from the screen. “The last time you hugged me was back in kindergarten when my cat died.”

Castiel rolled his eyes. So perhaps she was right, but that was not the point.

“Very funny… I just wanted to thank you for getting me a rose, that was nice of you. The part about drowning in my eyes was impressive, especially considering that you’re not even into males.”

Charlie’s hands slid away from the keyboard, and she turned in her chair to stare up at Castiel, appearing to be completely clueless.

“Rose?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. “That sure as hell wasn’t me… I sent you a friendship card, it should be waiting for you in the mail when you get home.”

There was no doubt that Charlie was speaking the truth; Castiel knew his friend well enough to detect when she was lying.

Castiel’s blood turned to ice. Someone had pranked him. Great. Predictable, but embarrassing all the same. Without thinking, Castiel rushed out of the library. He heard Charlie call after him, but he didn’t stop, aiming for some fresh air and some alone time instead…

~

It was chilly outside, even though the sun was struggling to break through the clouds. Castiel shivered as he took in the empty school yard. It wasn’t time for lunch break yet, which meant that he was alone. Perfect.

He made his way over to a group of trees, sitting down on a wooden bench that was still slightly damp. Putting down his bag, he took a deep breath. Now that he could think clearly, he realized that he was overreacting. It had simply been a prank, and whoever had pulled it, at least the message hadn’t included any mean or harmful words…

“Cas?”

Castiel nearly fell off the bench at the sound of that voice, deep and warm, calling his name so casually.

“Hello…” Castiel mumbled as he looked up into troubled green eyes. “Dean.” He added in an even smaller voice when he realized that this was probably bad news.

Like this, Dean was towering over him, and Castiel felt the need to get up to his feet as well, so that they at least were on the same level. When he did just that, Dean was even closer, and Castiel took a tiny step back.

Did Dean know? Had someone found out about Castiel sending him that rose? Castiel felt sick to his stomach at the mere thought.

“Can I talk to you, Cas?”

For reasons unknown, Dean sounded nothing like the confident guy that Castiel knew, and it was a bit unsettling.

“I… Yes, I guess.” Castiel permitted helplessly, trapped by both those eyes and the intense look on that handsome face.

Dean nodded, but stayed silent for a brief amount of time, as if collecting his thoughts. Castiel shamelessly used that pause to count the freckles on Dean’s nose, until he caught himself in the act and swiftly averted his eyes.

“Look, I think this whole anonymous thing with the roses is one big load of crap.” Dean suddenly stated out of the blue, breaking the silence and making Castiel look up at him again. “I mean, why send someone a message if you’re not even gonna tell them it’s you, right? Besides, it’s weird and awkward…”

Oh no… Dean knew. It felt like Dean’s gaze was boring right into Castiel’s very soul, digging up all of the secrets that he’d tried to keep hidden for so long.

Castiel contemplated running away and hiding in a cave forever, or moving to the other side of the country. Anything, something to get away from Dean Winchester, as well as impending humiliation. But Castiel was not a coward, never had been. He stood a little straighter, squaring his shoulders, a confession on his lips, just waiting to spill out.

“I’m sorry, Dean…” He apologized, loud and clear. “Sending you that rose was stupid, I know it was irrational, and I should’ve known that it would make you uncomfortable. I wasn’t thinking…”

The dumbfounded expression on Dean’s face that followed after, was not what Castiel had anticipated. This entire conversation was getting more confusing by the minute.

You? No Cas, I was talking about me!” Dean blurted out, face turning pink. “I sent you a rose… I think you’re cute, and smart, and your eyes are just… they’re gorgeous, okay? That’s what I’m trying to tell you, because otherwise what even would the point be, huh?”

Dean was grinning sheepishly, one hand rubbing the back of his neck as he waited for Castiel to say something.

Castiel couldn’t believe what he was hearing, shocked that Dean even knew he existed, let alone that he’d taken an interest in Castiel.

“So did you… Was I the only one who got a rose from you?” Castiel eventually questioned, not knowing what else to say.

Dean put his hand over his heart in mock offense. “Of course! I think one Valentine’s date at a time is enough, don’t you.” He winked at Castiel, and Castiel was officially lost.

“Y-You want to ask me on a date, Dean?”

“Yeah, I do…” Dean replied with a grin. “But first, I wanna know which one of those six messages was yours.”

Again, Castiel was reminded of his competition, but he suddenly felt less nervous. This was Dean, captain of the football team, the popular kid, yet he seemed genuinely vulnerable when talking to Castiel. It made Castiel confident enough to tease him a little.

“How about you guess which one it was?” Castiel said, tilting his head as he challenged Dean.

Dean weighed his options, squinting at Castiel. “Okay… Do I get a bonus if I guess it right away?”

Castiel laughed at Dean’s obvious enthusiasm. “You’ll see.”

Again, Dean was staring at him, as if trying to lift the answer straight from Castiel’s mind. Castiel gladly took yet another opportunity to map Dean’s freckles.

“Ha!” Dean shouted triumphantly, almost making Castiel jump. “It was the message that compared my freckles to the constellations, wasn’t it!”

Damn.

Lucky for Dean, Castiel wasn’t a sore loser. Dean had earned that bonus, fair and square. In a moment of extreme bravery, Castiel stood on his tiptoes and lightly kissed Dean on the lips. When Dean pulled him closer and started kissing him back, Castiel could tell that this was going to be the best Valentine’s day ever.

Black and White (Part 2)

Dean is a mechanic, running an illegal chop shop on the side to pay for his baby brother’s college tuition. Castiel is a local photojournalist who just so happens to catch Dean on film stealing a car.

Dean convinces Cas not to turn him in, and sparks fly.

But what happens when Cas appears to be involved with a rival group?

Can Dean trust him at all? Or does Cas already know enough to ruin him?

Read Part 1

Word Count: 2550

Warnings: None yet

A/N: Feedback appreciated! This is an AU that’s a little different, so I hope y’all enjoy this one!


“Not much to explain,” Dean shrugs.

“Who are you?” Cas blurts out, eyes widening like he didn’t mean to say it quite so loudly. “I mean, what do you do? Why were you stealing that car?”

Dean should stop this right now. Should make up some lie, or threaten Cas into silence. But he can’t find the heart to do either. Somehow, he finds a vague version of the actual truth coming out of his own mouth. “I told you already. I’m a mechanic. You saw my garage. And I was…uh, I was taking that car because I needed it.”

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