i like people with a sense of humor

anonymous asked:

what was wrong with the audience and willam at roscoes? :o

Nothing was wrong with Willam (or with Bob or Kim). I just tagged Willam in that post because she’s active on her tumblr, lol

BUT OMG THE AUDIENCE WAS A FUCKING MESS. There was this wasted girl who kept screaming and being obnoxious, including while the queens were talking or trying to answer a question, at which Trannika and Willam repeatedly had to ask her to shut up (which she never did). Kim had to yell at somebody else who was doing the same. There were a bunch of weird/dumb/rude questions, people trying to be funny and clever by throwing shade at other queens (I don’t even remember the questions at this point so don’t ask who). The usual Q&A fuckery, only more so. Like… exhaustingly more.

General note for the Drag Race fandom:
1) I’m not sure who told anyone that being an asshole equals having a sense of humor, but it doesn’t
2) Make no mistake: Trannika will roast you mercilessly if you bring your bad manners to a drag event

angel-in-spanish  asked:

Your tags for the skyrim emperors death vs the oblivion emperors death had me DEAD 😂😂😭

it’s so true tho! Titus Mediocre II. doesn’t even try to fight you when you go murderize him for the Dark Brotherhood he just stands there like the loaf of soggy bread that he is >:v

im not asking him to turn into the next avatar of akatosh but i refuse to respect a monarch who can be defeated by a firm punch to the nuts

  • Reporter: Neil Josten, do you have a girlfriend?
  • Neil: *Thinks of Andrew Minyard feeling comfortable enough with him to touch him and telling him to stay*
  • Neil: ...I have cats

Eiffel: which country has the most birds

Eiffel: portugeese

Eiffel: wait

Hilbert: that’s a language

Hera: portugull

Eiffel: nice recovery

Lovelace: don’t you mean nice redovery 

Minkowski: turkey, how did we miss turkey

The perpetually-offended on tumblr are complaining about people drawing NSFW fan art of the Wendy’s mascot...

And I’m just sitting here thinking, “You must be new to the internet".

Like…it’s been this way for at least 15 years now.  You came here late.  This is something you’re just going to have to deal with, because complaining ain’t gonna do shit

i love that so many people that work with him say that harry is so funny because like his sense of humor is so underappreciated and he’s so sarcastic and he’s got such a dry wit and he delivers his jokes in such a deadpan fashion and i know he’s the type of person to giggle at his own jokes but that’s ok because they truly are very funny

anonymous asked:

Was ist dein Lieblingszitat?

“You make lists in your head about what you want in a lover, like brown hair and a sweet voice. A sharp mind and a soft heart, a sense of humor that actually makes you laugh like you mean it. This and that. And it’s all bullshit. Because people aren’t lists. And I’ve always wanted to be the person who made someone realize that. I want to come across someone with a list in their head that is nothing like the person I am, and I want to show them what they didn’t even know they were looking for. People who think they know what they want are fooling themselves. Nobody really knows what they want.
Not until it’s right in front of them.”

- Anonymous

My experiences with the signs

Aries: My best friends tend to be Aries but somehow the friendships end as easily as they started. Supportive and always down to hang out. If they aren’t loud, they still have a presence. Likes to appear confident no matter their self-esteem. Really determined to get what they want.

Taurus: Low-maintenance friendships. The friend that’s always there even if you haven’t spoken in months or years. Does their own thing and cares about their own comfort above all else. Actually chill but can get really mad. Into DIY/domestic hobbies.

Gemini: Almost too talkative for their own good. Says dumb stuff but is actually pretty smart. Problems with being genuine because they’re so scattered. Just wants to be well-liked.

Cancer: MOODY. If you can put up with their ups and downs, they’ll keep you close. Clingy but somehow also pushes you away. Wants to appear tough, but is actually really soft on the inside (like a crab!). If they’re out of their shell, they can be super goofy. Doesn’t let anything go.

Leo: Has a bunch of friends and hobbies to keep them busy. Likes to make people laugh. Ambitious individuals. People always know who they are. Probably going to end up famous.

Virgo: Another sign I tend to be best friends with. But they have no problem cutting you off and not giving you a reason why. Hard-working and always looks put-together. You can hang out with them all the time and still know nothing about them.

Libra: There’s probably a Libra talking about you behind your back right now. But it’s not always in a malicious way. Likes being social but can be cold. Uses words to manipulate things in their favor. Says they hate drama but always ends up in the middle of it.

Scorpio: You definitely want a Scorpio on your side. You’re either everything or nothing to them. If a Scorpio cares about you, they’ll do anything for you. If they don’t, they’ll have no problem being the bad guy. Doesn’t trust anyone. Always has a plan. Behind their intensity, they have a good sense of humor. 

Sagittarius: Obnoxious and likes it that way. Bold personality that says whatever’s on their mind even if it makes others uncomfortable. Loves to party and get drunk. Serious when it comes to school and work.

Capricorn: Hard on themselves for no apparent reason. Often doubts what people say. Realistic on the edge of pessimistic. Occasionally emotional. Has good taste and sense of style.

Aquarius: True friends. I almost always get along with Aquariuses. Hilarious and smart but doesn’t even try to be. Quiet but good conversation-holders. Minds their own business and expects others to. Sometimes low-key shady though. They’re scarily good at lying. Has a weird variety of interests.

Pisces: Always passionate about something. Big dreamers. Stabs you in the back but you won’t even see it coming because they put on a friendly front. Highly sensitive and feels victimized even if they are responsible. Messy in every aspect but considers it artistic.  

hedgehogwithatank  asked:

What new vegas features do you miss the most in f4?

honestly? the writing. New Vegas had excellent writing, from the plot to the characters to just the dialogue options available to the courier. Having a voice is nice but with the limited dialogue you just can’t roleplay the same way you could in NV. Sole can only either be a bit of a dick, a totally nice guy or a smartass, while the courier can be anything from a complete moron, to an insufferable know-it-all, a smooth talker, a bit of a slut, a violent brute, a sarcastic douche, a by-the-book hero, a quiet badass and anything in between. 

And while we’re on dialogue, I really miss the Skill Check dialogue system from NV. You either had the skill needed to get certain things (or just finish quests on an alternate path) or you didn’t, and it was always clear because you got a display that told you how high  of a skill you needed (like “Speech [25/30]). Most importantly, if you didn’t have the needed skill, the actual dialogue would change, giving a good reason why the NPC you were talking to would react differently than if you had said the right thing. Plus some of the failed dialogue checks were some of the funniest parts of the game.

In FO4, if you pass a speech check or not is determined entirely by chance. You can have a CHA stat of 10 and still fail. Then you reload, your character says the exact same thing in the exact same context to the same character at the same time AND NOW IT WORKS FOR SOME REASON. That’s annoying busywork and kind of breaks my immersion. They had the same thing in FO3 where your chance of  success in speech checks was given in percentages and I didn’t like it there either.

I also like that the courier’s backstory was kept relatively vague, so you could make up  your own story for your character. FO4 gives you a pre-baked background that is pretty lukewarm for my tastes and doesn’t leave much room to make up your own character interpretation (unless you do some hard retconning/headcanon action to get around that, but even then it’s not amazing).

But other than that, New Vegas generally just didn’t take itself as seriously as FO4. FO4 has all this big focus on how miserable everyone is and how shitty life in the wasteland is. There is so much drama with families being torn apart, everyone being afraid of the Institute, the Brotherhood stomping about the place, children dying of incurable diseases…it is all so dark and serious and miserable it gets exhausting after a while.

New Vegas has dark stuff too, with drug use, slavery, prostitution, bureaucratic fuckery costing lives, war crimes, lack of medical aid, lack of food and fresh water and power, economic inequality…i could go on. So it absolutely has serious and dark issues. I mean one of the companion characters mercy killed his pregnant wife to spare her the horrors of slavery for fuck’s sake.

But you know what it also has? Ghouls flying to the moon. A gang of grannies in pink dresses beating people to death with rolling pins. Cyberdogs. A big blue grandma who looks like hulk and wears a cute flower hat. A gang of elvis impersonators. at least two (2) robots who think they’re cowboys. People cosplaying ancient romans. A dude wearing a dog for a hat. A giant plastic dinosaur with a store inside that sells tiny plastic dinosaur souvenirs. A sexbot called “FISTO” that you can hire for yourself if you wish.

What I’m trying to say is, New Vegas had a lot of serious themes (I’d argue them being even portrayed better than in FO4 but that’s a matter of opinion). But at the same time it didn’t lose it’s sense of humor. This is a world where science can make people live 200 years, create super mutants by dipping people in green goo, and radiation is basically magic. It’s not super serious all the time or tragic. Might as well have some fun with it. Fallout has a long history of dark comedy after all.

FO4 kinda lost the humor aspect and maybe it’s personal preference, but I never liked media where everything is just sad and miserable all the time because you get kinda tired of it and desensitized after a while. I don’t hate it or anything, but it can never reach the same place in my heart fnv did ;-;

god sorry for the novel i could just talk about fnv all day

I honesty think stand up comedians are less funny than regular people. I hate when in interviews comedians are like “Being funny is hard… almost no one can do it. They think they can…” It’s like what?? I’ve met so many funny people and pretty much none of them are comics lol. A sense of humor is not something limited only to those who do professional comedy. So many people are funny, literally like my friends parents in elementary or like some random witty guy at church is funnier than stand ups lol. Sorry random but it bugs me when people say that.

I was glad I wasn’t in love, that I wasn’t happy with the world. I like being at odds with everything. People in love often become edgy, dangerous. They lose their sense of perspective. They lose their sense of humor. They become nervous, psychotic bores. They even become killers.
— 

Charles Bukowski

WOMEN (1978)

3

WW2 Veteran Comes out as Transgender aged 90

A WW2 veteran has come out as transgender at the age of 90 and is happy to finally be receiving female hormone treatment.

Patricia Davies says she knew since the age of three that she was a woman but lived in fear of how people would react for decades until doctors changed her medical records to “female” last year.

Even though she had opened up to her late wife about her feelings in 1987, who bought her jewelry and dresses to wear in secret, she remained living as Peter after receiving abuse from people in the street and fearing “electric shock treatment”.

The retired industrial photographer, who served in the army between April 1945-1948, has a distant aunt who once lived to 104 years old so hopes she has “similar genes” to keep her going so she can now enjoy life as a woman.

Patricia, from a village in Leicestershire, said: “It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I was living a lie.”

“I have been keeping quiet. I have slowly started to tell some of my neighbors. Everybody said ‘don’t worry, as long as you’re happy.”

“I’ve known I was transgender since I was three-years-old.”

“I have always been attracted to women but not in a sexual way. I’m not gay. My attraction to women was that I wanted to be like them. I would have liked to be like the pin-ups.”

“I was never totally unhappy. I always made the most of things and looked on the bright side of things. I’ve always had a wicked sense of humor.”

“Because of the general hostility of people I kept quiet. It wasn’t until recently that I felt safe to come out and I felt an overwhelming desire that I wanted to break free. So I came out and I’ve not regretted it.”

Patricia served in the army from April 1945 until April 1948, leaving when she was 21 and getting married only a few months later.

During her time in the armed forces, she served in the Far East, India, East Africa and Palestine.

Patricia said: “You took your life in your hands in the army. I lost a couple of mates and had a close shave myself.”

“I had to keep my mouth shut about being transgender, you couldn’t flaunt that as that would have been a disaster.”

“Transgender wasn’t really known in those days. I would have been classed as homosexual, which would have caused problems in the army. I would have ended up in prison. But I got through it.”

“But it was alright overall and I feel quite proud having served during the war and having done military service, in particular during the trouble in Palestine.”

“Perhaps Hitler got news I had joined in April 1945 and gave up. That’s what I like to think.”

“I feel quite relieved, quite happy. [The best thing about coming out] is being accepted as a woman. That has been something I’ve wanted all of my life.”

“If people don’t like what they see then I don’t care but no one seems to be causing me any trouble. Nobody questions it though. Nobody seems to bat an eyelid, they accept me as I am.”

“I’ve been made most welcome in the societies. I think people will benefit from being educated on this a bit more.”

one thing i hate in the way a lot of current theatre people engage with sondheim is they forget that he… has a sense of humor? i heard someone say that angela lansbury was bad in sweeney because she was “too funny” in the part which is so ??????? what’s wild is that even as deep as the themes are in shows like sweeney todd, into the woods, or company… the shows are funny! and the humor is also so necessary because it’s part of what makes them so engaging and helps to keep them from dragging or feeling bogged down!! and i just see so many productions that always seem to forget to pay attention to the comedy because there is so much humor in his work.

reasons why I love hunk garrett and not just b/c he’s “the food guy”
  • got over his fear of flying in order to take the responsibility of the yellow paladin 
    • a fear that physically crippled him by-the-by – chronic motion sickness isn’t fun y’all
  • he has a natural pacifist nature but that gets tossed aside if he sees anyone, especially if those he cares about, are in danger
  • the fact that he’s literally on the front line all the time b/c he’s the tank of the team and he’s willing to get the brunt of the hit to keep people safe
  • he’s friends with everyone and everyone is friends with him!!!
    • lance likes him b/c they’re both laid back
    • pidge likes him b/c they both connect over science
    • keith likes him b/c he honestly makes him laugh
  • he’s headstrong and stubborn when he needs to be and isn’t just a push over, he stands up for his ideals when they matter
    • fighting for the Balmerans and their freedom
    • insisting Rolo and Nyma were no good
  • he’s so humble, I feel like Hunk sees himself as a background character (which makes me cry in the middle of the night t b h) but he knows how much voltron means to people, that it’s a symbol of hope, that he’s a symbol of hope now and he uses his services only to help others
  • he is literally such the mom of the paladins?????
    • idk why y’all think allura is mom when she’s more like the ruthless middle school P.E. coach who throws dodgeballs at screaming children but okay
    • hunk literally cooks for everybody and fixes their stuff and sasses them when they mess up and gives them hugs and is the voice of reason/caution of the group
    • but oKAY I GUESS ALLURA’S MOM
  • his sense of humor is literally the best, he either points out the obvious and screams about how they’re in giant cat heads or goes on a tangent of how superior sporks are in the middle of a galra recon mission with the straightest goddamn poker face I have ever seen
  • HIS BAYARD IS A FUCKING CANON
    • AND BOI CAN HE AIM AND SHOOT
  • he’s just so???? smart?????
    • probably the top astromechanical engineer at garrison 
    • he took apart galra tech on his first day while navigating the mine shaft to find his lion and again while analyzing the galra foot soldier with pidge
    • just that whole Fraunhofer line scene
    • he apparently knows the atomic signature of all the atomics elements known to earth 
    • literally made a device??? to track??? the blue lion????
      • when could your fave ever
      • where would the paladins be if they didn’t have hunk honestly?????
      • still in keith’s crotchety ass shack that’s where
    • he probably has photographic memory
  • I mean he is literally almost equally as smart as he is strong check out this shit 
    • [Strength 19/ Intelligence 17]
  • and finally: hunk is literally the sweetest cutie in the whole universe Facts™
    • who else would voluntarily cook for their friends on top of being the team engineer and weapons specialist
    • literally said “what, no, we’re friends” to pidge when they wanted him to kick them across the room
    • constantly validates lance to make him feel better about himself
    • made keith laugh probably the hardest laugh he’s had in awhile
    • helps shiro reign in everyone
    • let the Arusians go on piggy back rides
    • literally liberated all the Balmerans through the power of friendship
  • please love my beautiful POC, canonly chubby son more thanks (ʘ‿ʘ✿)
The Fox Didn’t Want Those Grapes Anyway

Trump is going to spin his refusal to attend the White House Correspondents’ Dinner as “thumbing his nose at the fake news,” or maybe “I have real work to do, I don’t have time for this nonsense,” or something. The truth is, this is absolutely killing him – for many reasons.

1. This whole miserable era of our lives started at the WHCD in 2011, when Seth Meyers (and Obama himself) tore Trump into small pieces, and then tore those small pieces into smaller pieces, and then threw those pieces up into the air like LeBron James throwing chalk before a home game. Watch that video, and look at Trump’s face – the utter lack of self-awareness, the complete inability to engage in the smallest bit of humility. What a doof. Meyers later reached out to Trump in a “it’s all in good fun!” kind of a way, and Trump laughed and shook his hand and said “Hey, bud, no worries! You were funny and I can laugh at myself!” Just kidding. He was a sour asshole.

2. So: this WHCD was supposed to be his great revenge. (Well, winning the Presidency was his first revenge, this was to be the second.) He wanted to stroll in there triumphantly and lay waste to the haters and losers who mocked him five years ago. This was gonna be some real “Kill Bill”-type revenge stuff – I’m the goddamn President, and now I’m up here, and you have to laugh my MY jokes and respect ME. But he can’t. He has absolutely painted himself into a corner by making the media the enemy in an attempt to explain away the absurd and possibly treasonous actions of his campaign and administration. No way he can set foot in that room. He’ll be torn apart again.

3. And make no mistake – this pains him. Because all the man wants is attention. He positively lives for the warm glow of suck-uppy fawning. He got a lot of it from his campaign rallies – which is certainly why he continues to have them long after they make any sense at all – but those are just people. Suck-uppy fawning from the poorly-educated is fine. It’ll get him through the day. But it’s no substitute for suck-uppy fawning from rich society elites. That’s the good stuff. That’s the pure blood, for this particular vampire.

4. Trump is dying to be in that room, in a tuxedo, holding court and watching the grimacing faces of every important media figure in America as he lays waste to their sad attempts to take him down. But he can’t. Because, first of all, he is an absolutely terrible joke deliverer, as his Al Smith Dinner speech proved beyond the shadow of a doubt. And second, because he’s a wimp who can’t take the heat. Bill Clinton attended this event at the height of the Lewinsky scandal, for goodness sake. Trump is scared, and once he realized things weren’t going to go his way, he did what wimps do: he wimped out.

5. There is a legitimate argument to be made over whether the WHCD should even exist – it’s kind of gross, and unseemly, and certainly raises questions about whether the press who are supposed to inform the public about the goings-on of its elected officials should be co-opted by hob-nobbing with those self-same officials at a black tie gala. But I kind of like it, because it shows that America has a sense of humor about itself, and that its leaders can take a punch and laugh it off. It’s an event that reminds us how lucky we are not to have a thin-skinned dictator running the country – the kind of tyrant who throws people in jail for criticizing him. The problem is, we now have one of those thin-skinned dictators in power. He can’t throw everyone in jail for making fun of him, so he’s doing the next-best thing: he’s taking his ball and going home.

Dan's audience VS Phil's audience during live shows.

I’ve noticed something lately that’s been really bugging me a lot. During the liveshows, Phil’s audience is very sweet and soft and funny, talking about silly things and whatever, but Dan’s audience seems to like to rip into him a LOT. Like, some things are okay, but I swear to god, some people just say and ask the meanest shit, and I know, I know, Dan laughs, and he’s addressed this before, how he doesn’t mind, he knows that everyone has a dark sense of humor, but there’s a different between teasing and just being plain fucking mean.

Some of these people literally rip into him for everything, from his hair to his clothes to anything that he says, and yeah, he laughs it off, and maybe it doesn’t really effect him that much, but Jesus Christ, it’s really fucking rude. Let the boy fucking breathe. He does enough, seriously, he does so much for his audience, but yet some of the Phandom doesn’t seem to care. Would you like someone criticizing everything you say? Would you enjoy someone criticizing your appearance? Some of you guys are so mean to him and it’s starting to be a little annoying. He doesn’t fucking deserve it.

Stop being middle school bullies. You’re not being funny, you’re not being cool, you’re being fucking mean, and it’s not okay. Maybe he laughs it off, but it’s not okay for the rest of us. Give Dan the same amount of love and respect you give Phil, because he deserves it.

(This is bad quality but that is not the point)

HOLD UP
*Antonyms of Slytherin*
-Friendly
-Open
-Optimistic
-Accepting
-Warm
-Mellow
-Reserved
-Laid-back
-Kind

Excuse me?
I’m about to disprove every single one of these so make a cup of tea and get ready.

1) Friendly 

You can’t just dismiss ¼ of wizards and witched as ‘unfriendly’ simply because of a stereotype. Since when did being ambitious and being friendly become mutually exclusive? Yes, there are some Slytherins who are particular assholes, but what about other houses? You’re saying that in Gryffindor, a house that values bravery and all around cockiness people were always friendly? As well as that, the house that is known for valuing kindness is Hufflepuff. Are you saying that Hufflepuff and Slytherin are opposites? Yes, the people who make up those houses have very different personalities, but as always, there is some overlay, or Slytherpuffs would not exist. For example, Narcissa Black was almost sorted into Hufflepuff because of her fierce loyalty towards her family. Kindness is a basic human emotion, missing only in the mind of psychopaths, which is not the word I would use to describe Regulus, Slughorn, and the great Merlin himself.

2)Open

So practically ¾ of Hogwarts hates Slytherin and believes them to be heartless monsters, but it surprises you that they don’t seem open? Okay, Slytherins tend to hide their emotions from most people, but within a Slytherin’s small group of friends they will not hesitate to tell them everything, because unlike some other houses, a secret stays a secret. This is one of the words I could potentially agree with as I have found myself closing off from other people when I do not want to burden them, but my best friend knows everything about me as we keep no secrets from each other, something former members from the Gryffindor house (dumbledore) could not say, having kept a certain boy-who-lived’s inescapable early death from him for more than 7 years.

3) Optimistic

Yeah, okay I can see where the author of this is coming from with this one

4)Accepting

Okay we need to stop using common traits of Hufflepuff as antonyms for Slytherin! If there is one thing Slytherins are not accepting of then it’s bigoted behavior because “everyone else may think we’re evil but we will not sink to meet their expectations.”

5) Warm

Just because Slytherins will not pour their heart out to anyone who knows them doesn’t mean they are soulless. Slytherins may act distant from the other houses, but why would they have any reason to share their feelings with anyone who thinks that they are evil? We always know what to say to our closest friends, and have such big hearts for those willing to put in effort to try and find out.

6) Mellow

Okay so Slytherins may not be the most mellow, but like hell any non-slytherins would know, because if anything, we are good appearing calm and collected, but simmering with rage and hatred beneath the surface. Also, just because we fight fight for what we want instead of just waiting for the opportunity to fall into our lap doesn’t mean we’re hotheads.

7) Reserved

Slytherin’s may voice their opinion when they think something is wrong, because someone needs to speak out, however only if we think it will give any impact, or benefit. If someone acting really homophobic, of course we will tell them to sit the fuck down and rethink their priorities, but if you do so every day, it will lose its effect. We pick and choose our battles.

8) Laid-back

Laid-back is definitely something that comes with age. If you look at the first year Slytherins, then yes, you could say that they are not at all laid back, stressing until 2am about a homework due the next day. However as they get older, the fucks being given get less and less, until eventually they have perfected the art of needing a constant base layer of stress to function, and can therefore relax and not think about their fast-approaching essay due date until the night before, whereas a hufflepuff is running up and down the library halls with stress. You see, every house procrastinates, but it takes talent to be able to relax while putting off work.

9) Kind

This is the last one, and I believe the worst. Yes, may protect their emotions, but that doesn’t mean we are not kind. it is about time that people stop predicting our entire personality on Severus Snape, a guy most Slytherins didn’t even like, just pretended to because duh, extra credit. Please stop dismissing us as unkind, just because we have a slightly cruel (but admittedly hilarious) sense of humor, or occasionally enjoy intimidating people. Everyone knows this can be fun, we’re just the only house to admit it. These small things aside, just because we are not kind to you, does not mean we are without kindness, it just means we didn’t think you were worth being kind too, especially if you come up with this sort of bullshit list and all of your prejudices.

That was all my fellow slytherins x

I think possibly the most twisted side of Hannibal and Will’s relationship, but also the one that shows the most how they’re made for each other and pretty much no one else, is how they get each other’s sense of humor, in whatever form it comes. Hannibal sees Will’s bitter misanthropic sarcasm and is endeared by it, instead of kept at a distance by it like everybody else; Will should really not find Hannibal’s irony funny since it mostly involves murdering and eating people, stabbing, or making victims into art, but he tragically does. To the point that it gets him to smile, laugh, turn a dead man into a firefly, or watch an asshole eat his own face.