i like obscure pairings

anonymous asked:

jimon + friends with benefits!!!!!!!!! ahhhhh

i’ve had this fic in my docs for ages i hope it makes sense lmao. also like can you BELIEVE the obscure pairing i worked in later in the fic like…why the fuck even. i don’t know. my hand slipped when i was finishing this. 

“Okay,” Simon says, stabbing at the air emphatically, “okay, hypothetical. You, versus like, Superman. Who would win?”

Jace groans, rolls over, half-heartedly slaps at Simon’s shoulder.

“I don’t know.” He groans, clearly over the whole conversation. “You just had your dick in my ass, and you can still think?”

“These are important questions, Jace.” Simon says, propping himself up and scratching at his chest as he stares at Jace curled up on his side, hair falling softly in front of his face like some sort of angel. An angel that likes to weave extravagant lies about the Shadow world to trick Simon and then whisper filthy things to him when they fuck.

Jace glares at him, looking like a ruffled kitten.

“Get out.” he says irritably, and Simon shrugs and stands, shimmying on his boxers. Contrary to what Clary says, he can in fact do casual friends with benefits with Jace, thanks for the trust, Fray.

“Don’t miss my skills too much.” He says, winking exaggeratedly as he pulls his shirt on, and Jace groans and thumps his face into the pillow.

“I’d win against Superman.” He mumbles. “I have a fucking sword, Simon.”

.

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viva-la-pluto-bitches  asked:

Are there any items that Target sells that you are very tempted to buy, but are resisting buying because it's probably a bad idea? (I work at my favourite store to shop at so every new box of products is complete torture as I barely make enough to pay rent)

Tape dispensers that look like golden animals, every pair of joggers I see, every obscure seasonal item

Avengers Fic: Diplomatic Relations and Intelligence Failures, Pt. 1

((Okay, everyone!  Happy Femslash February!  I’m going to try to do this, and do this well, wish me luck.  I apologize for my first attempt at Femslash, I doubt it will be very good, but it’ll be a chance to play with some characters who often don’t get much time on the playing field in my fic.  Bear with me, please!  For those of you who don’t remember her, Dr. Anna Garza is a creation of mine introduced here:  http://scifigrl47.tumblr.com/post/29091412546/avengers-fic-a-singular-remedy-pt-1 She is not part of the shippy set, for those who despise OCs gettin’ it on with canon characters, have no fear. 8)  ))

“So, a six inch laceration on your left arm, badly bruised shoulder, bruised tailbone, lacerations on both fists, strained wrist, mild head injury, a dandy little case of frostnip, which isn’t nearly as adorable as it sounds, exhaustion and dehydration. Did I miss anything?”

Maria Hill stared at the ceiling of medical. There was a picture of a grumpy looking cat taped there, with a word bubble that read, “For God’s sake, stop getting hurt!” It was far more amusing than it should’ve been.

“I think,” she said after a moment of careful consideration, “that I need to get laid.”

Dr. Anna Garza paused, one dark eyebrow arching. “Okay,” she said at last. “I will admit, I missed that one. In my defense, we haven’t yet come up with a definitive medical test for that particular ailment, so, I’m not feeling too bad about it. I can add it to your chart, if you’d like, but it’ll be for informational purposes only.”

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Whatever that ebook fanfic thing that’s happening is, I am fairly sure it’s a scam ON fandom?

I checked to see if my fic is up there, and it is–but I checked each of the fics’ stats and I have 612 downloads and 41 “reviews” on each of them, exact same numbers. They’re all fairly obscure fandoms and rare pairings to boot. Like I don’t get these numbers on AO3 where people are LOOKING for that kind of thing, so I am fairly sure this is to get authors to sign up (because you can’t ee the “reviews” unless you sign up) with their credit card and do something with their information. Probably not good.