- Tony: The first time my dad caught me looking at one of those magazines, he got really upset.
- Thor: Why?
- Tony: Well, I guess parents don’t like knowing their kids look at that kind of stuff. That’s why they tell them they’ll go to hell or go blind. But my dad...He didn’t believe in that stuff, so my dad said “Tony, when you, you know, it uh, expends energy, both in the climax and in the daily reproduction of sperm, so if you do it a lot, it adds up, and it shortens your life span, and that’s why, on average, males have shorter life spans, because they...you know.”
- Thor: So you were scared of death?
- Tony: Yeah. I, I was pretty upset. And then my mom saw that I was crying, so she said this ridiculous thing. She said that she was 40, and I was 11 and if I masturbated enough, I could catch up to her, and that way we could die on the exact same day and never be apart. I think she was trying to be funny, she had a weird sense of humour. And even if she was right, I wouldn’t have been able to jack off fast enough to catch up. She died shortly after.
- Thor: And so now, when you masturbate you think about your mother.
- Tony: Ah, Thor, no. That’s weird.
- Thor: Weird?
- Tony: Weird is like when you do stuff that nobody else does, so they make fun of you for it. So when I say that I can’t masturbate because it makes me think about my mom, people laugh at you.
- Thor: But that’s fun. Making people laugh is great.
- Tony: It’s not, because they call you names like Tuggy Tony and you have to change schools, and it’s, it’s not fun.
- Thor: Tony, when I masturbate I’m going to think about your mother.
- Tony: Thor, stop!
- Thor: But if I think about your mom when I masturbate then you won’t be weird anymore, right?
- Tony: No, just quit talking!
- Thor: I’m just trying to help.
- Tony: Well you’re not!
jdronica is very abusive. it doesn't matter if u "take out the murder", because that manipulation is a characteristic of both their relationship and jd's personality. it's like saying "here's my pedophilic ship but hey it's okay, the kid's aged up." both this scenario and an abusive ship (even taking away the manipulation and abuse) are fucked up, man