i like how this one is nearly all my who records

#switching #owling #bumping into each other

Prompts: @crazyconglasses
Author: @queenofthyme

Dearest Potter,

My mother insists that I write you to formally thank you for speaking on behalf of us at the Wizengamot. Without your testimony, we most certainly would have faced time in Azkaban.

So: thank you.

If you were expecting any heartfelt words of gratitude, then you’ve mistaken me for those hero worshippers who submit their amateur poetry about you to The Daily Prophet. Even as a child, I could write better poetry than that. 

Hoping to never speak to you again,

Draco Malfoy


Malfoy,

Please pass my appreciation on to your mother. I sincerely hope she is well.

As for you, I don’t need or expect your gratitude. That’s not why I helped you. You wouldn’t understand this of course, but those of us who have a heart, help others simply just to help others.

I also happen to enjoy and appreciate the notes people leave in The Daily Prophet for me. I’ve never heard any poetry from you, so I wouldn’t be so quick to throw stones.

Wishing you horrible misfortune,

Harry Potter


Don’t give me that load of crock, Potter. Even heroes have ulterior motives.

I also highly doubt you enjoyed last week’s poem: “I see Harry Potter’s emerald eyes, they sparkle and shine, all magic defies.” What does that even mean?

Seeing through your media-trained lies,

Draco Malfoy


Malfoy. You only think I’m lying because you can’t comprehend anyone’s perspective but your own.

That poem was heartfelt and thoughtful. I have a copy of it on my fridge - that’s a muggle appliance.

Rejecting your rude assumptions about me,

Harry Potter

Keep reading

EXCLUSIVE: BTS Celebrate Their Biggest Album Ever and Reveal What They Love About Themselves

Welcome to BTS’ next chapter.

The K-pop boyband shocked the biggest names in music when they beat out artists like Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez for the Top Social Artist award at the Billboard Music Awards in May – but their success is no surprise.

With 8.4 million Twitter followers and a fan base so dedicated it’s referred to as ARMY, BTS is one of the hottest acts in Asia, and soon, the United States.

“There is much more recognition of BTS music than before the BBMAs,” V, one of the band’s seven members, told ET. “Which means fans have higher expectations than before. We’re trying to live up to it and I hope the new album can be the answer to that expectation.”

The new album, Love Yourself: Her, dropped on Monday and was even shattering records weeks before its release with over one million pre-orders, according to BTS’ label, BigHit Entertainment. By Tuesday, Love Yourself had already topped the iTunes Album charts at No. 1 in a record-breaking 73 countries, the largest debut release for any South Korean artists. And “DNA,” the album’s lead single, is also blowing up on YouTube with nearly 30 million views since its early Monday release.

ET caught up with V, Rap Monster, Jimin, Jin, Jungkook, Suga and J-Hope on Tuesday, where they opened up about their incredible success, their fifth EP, and what’s next.

Q. Love Yourself: Her is already a huge hit around the world. Were you surprised?

Rap Monster: We’re surprised at the huge response when each album is released but it is beyond our expectation and overwhelming this time. Our new songs topped iTunes chart in 73 countries and made its debut at No. 4 on the US iTunes Song chart. “DNA” music video views surpassed 10 million in just 8 hours, which was the fastest for Korean artists ever. We are very grateful to our fans worldwide for appreciating our music and video.

Q. The music video for “DNA” is a little different from your past music videos, and includes some intense choreography – what does this mean for other music videos off this album? How long did it take to shoot the video?

J-Hope: BTS’ music videos always have intense choreography, but it was even more difficult to learn all the dance moves before the shoot. It may look different compared to previous videos due to complex use of computer graphics and edit styles for “DNA” video, but it took three full days to shoot. Everyone was great in learning the choreography, although there were many different moves we had to perform for the video. Personally, I think Jungkook and Jimin really pulled it off nicely.

Q. You collaborated with The Chainsmoker’s Andrew Taggart on the song “Best of Me” after meeting at the BBMAs. What was the collaboration process like? What did you learn from him?

Rap Monster: We first met at the BBMAs last May. [We] were invited to The Chainsmokers’ rehearsal backstage for the award show and we had fun talking about music and many things. The duo sent us several tracks after we returned home from BBMAs and we selected a couple of tracks to work together. “Best of Me” was the best for our new album in many ways so we decided to write lyrics and finish it together. The song came out great and we were all satisfied with the collaborative process. Andrew is awesome; he’s passionate about music and I think there should be more opportunities for us to work again in near future.

Q. Who’s your next big dream collaborator?

Jungkook: My biggest dream collaborator would be Justin Bieber because I just love his voice and the way he collaborates with other artists. However, I’d like to give it a try with whoever has the right chemistry with BTS musically.

Suga: I’m pretty much open to anyone who’s unique and has mutual appreciation in the music as BTS. I have some tracks and songs written for future collaboration and I’m happy to work with artists who have the right voice and taste.

Q. The song “Skit: Billboard Music Awards,” features Rap Monster’s speech from the awards show – what made you choose to incorporate that into your new album?

Rap Monster: It was one of many ideas we had for this album and we all thought that it would mean a lot to BTS and our fans if we have it permanently in the album and cherish that special moment for everyone. We’re facing the second chapter with Love Yourself: Her in terms of music and life and the BBMAs is like a new turning point for BTS in many ways.

Q. Rap Monster already revealed that Barack Obama was an inspiration for “MIC Drop” – Why? Who else were you inspired by on this album?

Suga: There are so many things that inspire us. For me, it’s people around me. And for RM, it can be books he reads. In general, what fans talk about and think about become a very important source of inspiration to us, because we want to write something that’s real to people, especially those who listen to BTS’ music.

Q. During your live stream on Monday, Rap Monster said that his favorite song is “Ocean,” but that song wasn’t released with the album. What can you tease about when the song will drop, and what it sounds like?

Rap Monster: It’s one of two hidden tracks you can listen to only on the physical album. “Ocean” has a lot of things I thought about since my debut in BTS four years ago. I have lived through many different dreams, worries and emotions in past years and I wanted to share those moments in the song. Sound-wise, there’s guitar and synth and the song is over five minutes, which is quite long. I hope people like it as one of the surprises I’ve prepared.

Q. You changed up your hair color since we last saw you – who decides when it’s time to change your look?

Jimin and J-Hope: The hair color decision is based on the concept of the new album and the timing is discussed with the whole production timeline. Each member’s opinion counts, so our stylists and creative team propose optional colors for us to choose from. But at the end of the day, they’re professionals and they know what they’re doing and in most cases, the proposed colors turn out to be the best for each member.

Q. This new album marks a new chapter in your careers after School, The Most Beautiful Moment in Life and Wings. What do you want fans to know about this new era of BTS?

Rap Monster: We tried many new things for this album and I’d like to label it as “innovative,” if I may. There will be new styled songs, new video, and many new things from now on. We want to evolve as artists and develop what we have within ourselves. If we ever slow down or even fail for our trials, it’s OK and we’ll be and stay as BTS. In addition, I’d like people to love themselves and think about what true love is while listening to the new album, because real love calls for courage to appreciate myself as is.  

Q. What do each of you love about yourselves?

Jin: I love my face and how it looks, which I appreciate very much.

Jimin: I love my attitude towards work and tendency for perfection.

V: My newly discovered talent to shoot great photos.  

Q. You’re wrapping up your tour this December. When will you be back performing in the U.S.?

Rap Monster: We do have plans for a world tour in 2018 so we will definitely go back to the U.S. soon and meet our fans as much as we can. If there’s any special opportunity for us any time soon, we’ll make sure to share it with you first.

Source.

for a lot of us, it seems nearly impossible to find a balance between our grades and our health. i’ve created a list of tips and resources for managing classwork as well as mental illness. i tried to be inclusive of depression and anxiety as well as other disorders like adhd and bipolar. (i’d like to be more inclusive of others, but i couldn’t find a lot of resources and wasn’t sure what would help aaaa)

please let me know if you have anything to add, and i hope this post can help you out in some way c:

while studying

  • create a routine, and do your best to stick to it. having a consistent schedule can be a struggle, especially when dealing with long days of class or difficulties with sleep. try something more open-ended and flexible if you can’t manage specific times. (studying for an hour in the morning and before bed vs studying at 8 am and 10 pm)
  • start with your favourite subject. there are a lot of suggestions on how to start a study session (and they usually conflict it seems), but i’ve found that this works best for me. your favourite subject may be easy or difficult, but by starting with it, you get in the groove of studying and won’t get burnt out as quickly, giving you more energy to do your other work.
  • don’t take on more than what you can handle. if you’re feeling motivated, great! get as much done as you can! but on the bad days, just do what you can. there are times where it seems nearly impossible to get anything done, but still try to make the most out of each day and do what you’re able to so you don’t fall far behind. do what you can, when you can. don’t overwork yourself so much.

during class

  • take notes. for me, the easiest way to lose track during a class is if i don’t write or doodle. even if the material doesn’t seem important, write it down! it may be useful later, and it’ll keep your mind from wandering during lecture. (that being said, don’t always write things exactly as the teacher says; putting it into your own words can make it easier to remember and understand)
  • record lecture audio. if you can’t copy everything down in time, or if for whatever reason you need to know something verbatim, then you’ll have something to listen to again later.
  • take pics of what the instructor writes on the board. similar to the above tip, you can refer back to the pictures you took. just don’t forget about them! write yourself a note or make an alarm on your phone to remind you that there’s more material to review. don’t be the kid who takes pictures during the whole lecture but never writes anything, that kid’s obnoxious and gets bad grades
  • stay focused. i fidget a lot with my hands and feet, especially during a long lecture or study session. i find that keeping my hand on my pen/pencil is the simplest way to keep my mind on track, but fidget toys may help you as well. most teachers and students are fine with it as long as it’s not too disruptive.

at home

  • keep track of medication. ngl i am suuuper forgetful when it comes to medication :’) if you’re forgetful too, leave yourself as many reminders as you can. set alarms, write notes, or have someone else keep you accountable if you’re living with a parent or roommate. having routine helps here as well, especially if you take meds multiple times a day.
  • communicate regularly with your doctor. if you’re living away from home, or just a busy student, it can be particularly difficult to make appointments. but you should still make an effort to email your doctor, therapist, etc. at least once a month, and more often if you’re currently changing or adjusting medications.
  • “catching up” on sleep is a myth. depriving yourself of sleep during the week and then sleeping in on the weekends won’t fix your sleep schedule, sadly. keep it consistent if you can. even if you’re staying up late and sleeping in, try to get at least 7-8 hours. whether it’s 12-8 am or 2-10 am, it’s a reasonable amount for getting through the day. sleeping too little can leave you tired and grumpy in the morning, but sleeping too much can also leave you groggy, sluggish, and unproductive for the rest of the day.
  • eat something healthy. okay, no one can eat healthy all the time, and i don’t expect you to. i certainly don’t expect myself to lol. but we can still find a healthy snack or meal to make a part of our lives. sometimes fruit is the best comfort food tbh. here are a few simple snacks that you could try, for studying or for whatever else. i personally enjoy anything with berries, especially yogurt parfait or oatmeal.
  • have a support system. it helps so much to have someone you can talk to when you’re not feeling well or in need of encouragement. it can be a friend, a parent, a sibling, your significant other, or even other members of the studyblr community! (if you don’t have anyone to talk to, please talk to me!! i am here for you my friendo)

other stuff

  • community college by @universi-tea - if you’re worried about moving into dorms or away from home (or are simply unable to), i strongly encourage you to try out community college. it’s made schooling much more enjoyable and accessible for me and i think everyone should give it a chance. plus it’s waaay cheaper.
    • also, most (if not all) U.S. schools have a disability services department; this applies to both physical and mental illnesses. talking to them for the first time can be nerve-wracking, but in the long run it’s completely worth it. teachers and staff want to help you! but you have to help yourself a lil bit too. accommodations may include leniency about attendance and deadlines, or they may let you take exams on earlier or later dates with fewer students present. the flexibility with deadlines has saved my ass more than once tbh
  • things to do when things don’t feel right by @affectionsuggestions - sometimes it’s okay to just do small things, and sometimes it’s okay to not do anything at all.
  • ways to start feeling again by @urbanthropologie - similar to above, but with a focus on mindfulness (helps with anxiety, dissociation, etc)
  • my mental illness tag - this has many other resources that are otherwise not listed in this post.
  • my printables tag! - printables are great for when you’re too tired or not sure how to write things out completely by hand. there are some planners and calendars as well as gratitude logs, habit trackers, etc.
  • i have tons of other tags listed here if you need anything more specific :>

thank you for reading! i hope you found some of these tips helpful. i believe in you!!

Hot Off The Press

Another AU where Jacky-Boy is a hockey player and Bitty has a job that involves hockey bc that’s my aesthetic. Anyway, I really know nothing about how the world of sports journalism works so there is probably some inaccuracies in here, but it’s an AU so who cares. Artistic license and all that. Very slightly NSFW (i just wanted to get all the warnings out there). 

***

“Are you into men?”

Jack has been asked this question before, but in such a subtle way (and typically involving Parson) that it’s easy to avoid. No reporter has ever straight out asked him. Besides, he’s not gay. He’s bisexual. So when Jack usually tells them, “No.” it’s not a lie. However, this time it feels different. Maybe it wasn’t just this particular time, but all the times added onto each other that’s finally causing him to really think about what hole he’s digging himself into.

The blunt question has him feeling panicky and the other presser notice his reaction too. Jack can’t say no, because that’s not true. He is into men. Jack’s panic quickly shifts, and now he just feels like shoving the microphones away and storming out, because this is hockey goddammit. Not E! news.

“Excuse me?” Jack clears his throat, trying to buy himself some time to think of a properly crafted response. Over the years, he’s developed a talent for that.

But everything is on overdrive and he feels his breath start to quicken again–

“Are you into men?” Another reporter asks, and it takes Jack a moment to realize that the reporter isn’t asking him. He’s asking the man who popped the question in the first place.

 All attention, including Jack’s, turns to the small blonde that got lost in the bundle of people. He holds up his mic towards the reporter who popped the question in the first place. 

Keep reading

l o v e - tom holland

summary: tom and y/n are so in love. from the way he looks at her to being the only one he truly adores. love was made for them. this is the ups and downs of being in love with tom holland.

notes: gif not mine based off the song by nat king cole. this was supposed to be something cute and small i wrote in an evening but here we are a week later with the longest fic i’ve ever written. please leave me your thoughts, i worked really hard on this!!

word count: 3542

Keep reading

Five Seconds (Richie Tozier x Reader)

Richie Tozier x Fem!Reader

*Please don’t plagiarize my work, thank you :3*

Summary: When you confessed to Richie, you got the expected response, but that doesn’t mean it hurt any less. Not even a week later he decides to talk to you, not so subtly jealous about you spending time with Ben. Things sort of…escalate from there.

Warnings: Cussing and Kissing. (oh no, not kissing! *parents screaming, children crying, Ohio catches on fire*) This is a request. DON’T HESITATE TO SEND IN REQUESTS. (Don’t send in like 50 tho. I still need sleep.)

Word Count: 1,697


“Can I t-talk to you.”

Richie stops laughing at Stan and, still giggling, turns to you. “Yeah, what’s up?”

You glance over Richie’s shoulder to see Beverly shoot you a thumbs up. “I’ve been, well- It was Beverly’s idea! But for a while now…” You stumbled over words, trying to soften the embarrassing blow of ‘I have a crush on you’.

“I like you!” You blurt, deciding to get it over with. “I l-like you as more than a friend.”

There’s a moment of silence in which you count the seconds that painfully tick by.

One. Richie’s mouth opens and closes, you can see his eyes dart to the other boys. They’re whooping and hollering, pushing him and giggling like idiots.

Two. You can feel the headrush hit you hard, along with waves of nausea.

Three. Teasing smiles stay on the boys’ faces, but Beverly’s melts off. She knows. She knows what’s going to happen.

Four. Richie’s ears turn fire hydrant red as you grow pale and faint. His eyes once again scan the boys, who continue to tease without mercy. You close your eyes, wishing they’d stop. There would be nothing to celebrate.

Five. “I’m s-sorry…”

Keep reading

latimes.com
'When you’re black you have to fight': Tinashe, Kehlani and other female R&B artists struggle for attention
Only three black women have topped the charts in the past 10 years. Here's why.
By Gerrick D. Kennedy

Three years ago, all the signs pointed one way: Tinashe was on her way to pop stardom.

In 2012, when she was just 19, she produced two critically acclaimed mixtapes that landed her a deal at RCA. A year later her debut single, “2 On,” made it to No. 24 on Billboard’s Hot 100. Her 2014 debut album, “Aquarius,” was met with critical acclaim and she was nominated for a BET Award.

Since then, the singer-songwriter has toured with Nicki Minaj and Katy Perry, collaborated with Britney Spears, earned praise from idol Janet Jackson and issued two buzzy projects, including last year’s digital-only work “Nightride.”

Yet Tinashe’s career has hit an impasse.

Nearly two years after it was announced to much hype, RCA has yet to release her long-gestating sophomore album, “Joyride.” As a string of genre-hopping singles and collaborations with artists like Spears, Chris Brown and Young Thug failed to produce a major hit, “Joyride” and her young career have stalled.

Attempting a restart, she has learned many things: that pop hits speak louder than reviews, only crossover stars make real money and being a black female performer comes with inherent challenges.

“Critical acclaim hasn’t been enough in my experience,” said the 24-year-old, who was born Tinashe Kachingwe. “The label appreciates it, but the music business, in my perspective, is still so much based on revenue and how much they are making in sales. That’s where it gets really [crappy].”

“You just want to make art for the sake of art,” she continued, “and not have people [care] about a number, first-week sales or things like that.”

Keep reading

How Sony deals with fandoms

I’ve been to an international in-house PR summit hosted by one of my clients this week and nearly fell off my chair when one of the guest speakers was a VERY important person from Sony Music Entertainment. Let’s call him John. I won’t disclose his function and real name because I don’t want to reveal where I was, but based on his title he definitely knows what he‘s saying and has a lot of industry experience.

His speech was mainly  about how to engage with a variety of different target audiences. Of bloody course one of the first slides he showed was a picture of 1D engaging with fans which was supposed to drive the point home that there are some audiences who are more passionate about a brand than others.He mentioned then that he’s worked with 1D on their albums which drove me into a bit of a freeze.

Because I’m embarrassing, I recorded parts of his speech on my phone and wrote the most important things down to share some interesting insights he gave about how Sony manages their artists’ target audiences, crafts their artists’ social media actions and deals with the fact that at the end of the day they always need to get people to buy music.

 

HOW DOES SONY UNDERSTAND AND MONITOR AUDIENCES (like fandoms for instance)?

According to John, they have their very own data-driven digital tool that helps them identify and manage different target groups for an artist (it’s not perfected yet but has been rolled out a lot of countries, I think he said 50?) and see where there might be connections to other artists, who the influencers are, what the specific target groups are or will be interested in and to identify collaboration opportunities.

Target groups are being split into four categories: Fanatics, enthusiasts, casuals, indifferents. These segments are being broken down into even smaller groups defined by age, genre preference, gender and country. They found that the older you get, the less likely you’ll be a fanatic or enthusiast.

How does Sony find this stuff out? Well, they survey polled music audiences of every age in a way that covers either nationally representatives or represent one of the major top tier cities. People shared their music preferences, consumption habits, lifestyle, media habits etc. Sony gathered all that information, analysed the insights and created their own audience understanding tool.

According to John, that way everyone at Sony has access to an interactive map of the world of Sony that looks into segmentations and audiences for every artist while being searchable in a number of different ways. The tool is pulling from real data, but they are also adding to that „with things like analytics of platforms like Spotify where we are able to gather lots of informations about user behaviours and reference that against things that we do“.

 

HOW SONY STRATEGICALLY SHAPES PR STORIES

John gave the example of Snoop Doggy Dog who had launched a new album (song? Idk) around that time: „There was a week-long debate in parliament around the legalization of Marihuana, so we just jumped on this conversation and did lots of social marketing around Snoop with his rolling papers and his spliffs… so maybe that’s bad taste, I’ll allow you to judge that for yourselves. The point is though that you are also marketing into a wider cultural context. [You need] an understanding how that works and where you can have a conversation that is seamless and not fake, genuineness is quite important.

“The way you can get people to connect is: You’ve got a lot of stuff that you want to say. Start under the assumption that people actually don’t give a shit about 95 percent of it. And then see which are the bits that might overlap. This is where the understanding of the audience really comes into its own. It forces us to think before we jump to execution. The quest for relevance is vitally important.”

Why are people to connect with a brand/band though? John thinks this is one of the most underused questions when planning an approach. Why is it that they do specific things? He gave an example: „We would normally take a record to radio because we always believe that radio is the thing that breaks the record. But if my core audience, my phase one audience – the people that are gonna give that band its first lift – are on Spotify, what am I doing on radio??“


ENGAGEMENT AROUND ARTIST IS KEY

„The thing is that you don’t start with a conversation around a product. The consumption of the product is the end point of a journey where you built an engagement and a fan. So again, for us that means that when we sit down and do our plan around our next Robbie Williams album, we start with „How are we gonna maximize the engagement around Robbie Williams“? because that will then sell us albums. Not „Okay, we’ll be releasing in a week in November, eight weeks out we need to be here, here and here“. So we’re not doing product launches anymore unless [it is suitable for the target demographic]. We have to built a tension and an engagement around an artist.“

 

ABOUT THEIR ARTISTS‘ SOCIAL MEDIA CHANNELS

„We run most of our artists social media channels or at least their official  pages, so we are involved in all of those conversations.“


Shocking, I know.

Based on the situation we face in this fandom,with this band, feel free to draw your own conclusions about what this information means.

HERE ARE MY KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1.       It’s not news at all, but the existence of their own audience understandig tool confirms it: the 1D fandom is being monitored, segmented and analyzed. Sony’s strategies are tightly tied to that fact. Collaborations or artist interactions such as Louis/James Arthur or One Direction/ Little Mix are most likely the result of a data-driven analysis of whose fan groups are similar and whose are likely to be open towards that particular other artist too.

2.       Again no news, but the example of Snoop Doggy Dog shows that there are strategies behind even the most random photos. Often placements of specific pictures or stories serve a wider purpose. Hello pap walks, hello b**ygate, hello Louis Twitter, hello Liam visibly being linked to L.A.‘s cool singer/songwriter crowd before his first album drop.  

3.       The decision to not promote Louis‘ song could very well have been a logical outcome of the team asking themselves the question „Why?“: Why should we promote his song with huge effort when we KNOW his own fans are going to do it passionately, especially if they think  we don’t give a shit? Why not playing that game in order to make them promo it the hardest way they can?“ Why indeed??

4.       One Direction is a huge deal for Sony. John was talking about a lot of bands during his speech but whenever he was talking about major acts, he always listed One Direction amongst them (along with gems like Beyonce, David Bowie, Adele). He name-dropped them at least 5 -6 times in a 60 minute speech. He really didn’t have to because the audience was in no way whatsoever a target audience. So yes, they clearly have been and are a very huge deal for them.

5.       The part about social media? Well :))))))

smile ✦ peter parker

summary : as the adopted daughter of none other than tony stark, you have a myriad of responsibilities. babysitting peter parker probably wasn’t supposed to be one of them. not that you’re complaining.

word count : 4.7k (also known as the longest thing I’ve ever written)

author’s note : ur adopted b/c not everyone is white and i don’t want anyone to feel excluded from reading this due to the fact tony is white (and yes ik there are interracial couples i just want everyone to feel included i want to make sure whoever wants to read this can without feeling weird about it b/c i know it is something that bothers people in the fanfic community okay bye enjoy my loves.)

   Tony Stark was a lot of things to a lot of people. He was the billionaire, he was the genius, the philanthropist, and the notorious playboy in his younger years. Most notably, however, was that he was Iron Man. He was marveled at by the entire world, him and the group of heroes that stood beside him; the Avengers, as they called themselves. To you, however, he was your father. 

   A terribly overprotective one, at that. 

  Of course, this was only to be expected of a father, even a foster one, but the lengths the man went to in order to keep his only daughter out of whatever he deemed trouble were rather extensive. You rarely ever left the Avengers tower, and if you did you were accompanied by a team of people you could only describe as rip off Secret Service men. Sometimes, Natasha would replace them, or Steve, but that was a rare occurrence. You were homeschooled by the best tutors his money could pay for- this particular move was less about refining your education and more about keeping you away from any boy in the five boroughs. 

   You chose to spend majority of your time reading in your room and training, always wary of anyone who approached you about being a friend. Your surname meant everything to people, especially the girls that wandered around Manhattan desperate to become the bestie of the daughter of the richest man in New York. You loved your dad with all your heart, but the stigma that ran with the Stark name would never stop irritating you. 

   That, and the impromptu plans he threw at you on a regular basis. 

   “Miss Stark, your father is requesting access to your room. He knows you hate it when he barges in.” Vision drifted into your room without warning, making you jump. You yanked your earbuds out of your ears, giving him a look. 

   “I hate when anyone barges in, Vision. That includes you, too.” You pushed your chair away from your desk, placing your pen on the desk and shutting your notebook. “Tell him he can come in if he lets me become an Avenger.” You raised your voice at this, knowing he would hear you. 

   “He says that he’ll consider it if you let him in.” 

   You raised your eyebrows. “Touché.” You motioned for the door to open, and your father walked into the room, immediately taking his pristinely polished shoes off and lying down on your bed. You stared at him.“Dad, it’s not cool to wear sunglasses inside. You look lame.” 

   Tony Stark rolled his eyes at you. “It’s called a look, sweetheart.” You laughed, pretending to nod in agreement. He placed his hands behind his head as you spun your chair back around to your desk. “What are you working on?” 

   “Something for Bruce,” you muttered, pen cap between your teeth as you continued to jot down important points from his numerous lab reports. You were going to have to hand in a full analysis of his findings for your end of term science paper, and he was more than willing to aid you. “Science report.” 

   “My daughter, beautiful and intelligent, my flesh and blood,” Tony declared proudly. 

   “Dad, I love you to the death, but I’m still not your biological kid,” you smiled all the same, though, and he knew behind the tough exterior you were happy to hear his expressions of admiration. 

    “Who needs a biological kid when I’ve got this great, wonderful adopted one right in front of me.” 

   Not looking up from your notebook, you said, “You’re really laying it on thick today. I’m all of those things, obviously, but I know you want something. So, what is it?” You paused, then said, “Thank you, by the way.” 

   “You sure we’re not related?” He sat back up, clasping his hands together. “What do you say about Germany?” 

   “Nice enough place I guess, interesting history, why?” 

   “I kind of need you to go there for two weeks with me.” 

   With a groan, you dropped your pen and held your face in your hands. “Another surprise trip? Dad, I have school. I have homework! Do you see this?” You held up the thick stack of reports from Banner’s lab, waving them around. “This is gonna be, like, my life’s work.” 

   Tony shook his head. “Kids these days and their homework. Seriously. When I was at school I would have taken any opportunity to shirk my responsibilities.” 

  “You did do that.”

    He waved his hand. “Technicalities. Anyway, as you know the Avengers have been disassembled. Sokovia Accords and all that bullshit. I assume you’ve been keeping up?” 

   “Hard not to.” It was true. Anything in the news was about the great split of the infamous team, Captain America vs Iron Man. It was impossible to turn on the television without hearing about it. And, considering you lived underneath the same roof as half of them, it was quite literally not an option to be ignorant to what was going on. 

   “Good,” he grinned proudly again. If there was one emotion that the man felt whenever he was around, it was proud. Nearly everything you did made him beam with pride, and if you had been placed into an actual high school, there was no doubt in his mind that the person at the top of every single class would be you. You excelled no matter the circumstances. “So, to sum up, there’s gonna be a big showdown in Germany. Western style, naturally. Guns blazing and everything.” 

   Your eyes lit up and you nearly flew out of your chair, rushing over to him. “Oh my god, are you finally gonna let me fight? You’ve seen my training, right? I’m getting so good. I’m like, practically Natasha level good. She’s been showing me that move where I can snap people’s necks with my thighs and-” 

   “First of all, your thighs are not going around anyone’s neck, so jot that down,” he interrupted. Your enthusiasm visibly deflated. “I need you to kind of watch over this kid who’s coming with us. He’s from Queens. You love Queens.” 

   “You’re making me babysit?” You flopped down on your bed, staring up at the ceiling. “C’mon, dad, I’m sixteen. That’s practically an adult. I think I should be allowed to fight this time. I’m Avenger worthy.” 

   “Practically an adult is not the same as literally an adult, as in over eighteen.” You groaned again. “Don’t call it babysitting, anyway. He’s your age. Well, he’s a few months younger, but that doesn’t matter. Just call it… hanging out with a good kid that’s fighting for your dear old dad and making sure he doesn’t get into trouble in Germany or annoy Happy too much.” He patted your knee, standing up. “We leave in the morning, kiddo, so pack up.” 

   “How come he gets to fight if he’s younger than I am?” 

   “’Cause he’s not my daughter. Goodnight, light of my life.” He kissed your forehead before leaving, giving you another encouraging smile.

   “Goodnight, pain my ass,” you grumbled as he left. He popped back in, a stern expression on his face. “If I watch your new protégée can I become an Avenger?” Tony rubbed a hand over his eyes. Teenage girls were exhausting. 

   “We’ll talk about it.”


   You’re sitting at your breakfast table with suitcases piled next to you when Peter Parker strolls into your life with happiness in his every footstep because he is just so, so glad to be there. You’re spooning cereal into your mouth when he sits down directly across from you, a video camera cupped in his soft looking hands and the little red button clicked on, meaning that he is recording you. You place your spoon back into the bowl of milk that is dusted with cinnamon sugar from the Cinnamon Toast Crunch you’ve been eating for the past ten minutes. 

   “Do you mind?” 

   “Mind what?” He asked, peeking up from behind his camera. You gestured toward it, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. 

   “The camera. I’m kind of still in the middle of eating breakfast in my pajamas,” you leaned forward, switching it off. “You must be the Spider-Boy.” The chestnut haired boy feels a blush creeping up his neck and settling along his cheekbones when you say that. 

   “Oh, did Mr. Stark tell you that?” He rubbed the back of his neck, laughing awkwardly. “Um, it’s Spider-Man, actually.” He mumbled the man part, knowing fully well that he didn’t look like much of a man in the eyes of anyone, his eyes casting down as he fidgeted with the strap on his camera. 

   “Oh good,” you nodded. You took another spoonful of cereal. “I like that better. Nicer ring to it.” You grabbed your box of sugary breakfast and pushed it toward him, an offering. 

   “Huh?” He was a bit dazed. He stared at the box in front of him and then realized he had been doing that for far too long of a time to be considered normal. “Oh, right, um, sure, thanks!” He opened the box and took a handful, shoving it in his mouth. You kept eating your cereal, silently staring at the bowl and willing yourself not to laugh at the boy in front of you. With all his nerves, he was still a bundle of energy and cheerfulness, and, well, let’s face it, he was sort of adorable. “So, you think my name’s cool?” He tried to sound suave, charming, as he said it, tried to smirk at you, but he stopped when he realized that he looked stupid.

   You gave him a half smile. “It’s pretty good.” His face positively lit up with happiness to be taken seriously, and you knew the feeling too well. You stuck out your hand. “Oh, forgot to introduce myself-” 

  “Y/N Stark, adopted daughter of Mr. Stark, probably the smartest girl in all of New York and, uh, correct if I’m wrong but… Black Widow’s best student as well as Bruce Banner’s apprentice.” 

   You gaped at him. The blush he had been sporting crept up to his ears and made his nose turn the shade of a strawberry. “Well, uh, yeah,” you said, flustered. “Should I creeped out or flattered?” 

   “Flattered, please.” The genuine worry in his eyes as he leaned forward made you laugh. He had an endearing personality. 

   “Flattered it is.” You watched the slow sigh of relief leave his mouth, his hands flying up the mess of hair atop his head and fixing it distractedly. Your dad walked into the room, and Peter practically fell out of his chair trying to stand up and seem presentable. Your slouch was indicative that you didn’t care much. He was just your dad. “Morning, pops,” you slid the box over his way.  

   He frowned at it.” Y/N, that stuff is crap. I don’t know why you eat it.” 

   “Wanda and I like it,” you said defensively, a slip of the tongue. You knew your dad was going to get annoyed at the mention of the Scarlet Witch, who had evaded and ignored his attempts at keeping her powers under control. “It’s good. High quality. Right, Peter?” You whipped your head toward him. 

   He felt his heart give a little tug. He grabbed the box out of your hand and shoved more cereal in his mouth, the cinnamon sugar sticking to his lips. “Yeah, Mr. Stark. Best stuff ever,” he said through a mouthful of it. Tony gave them an amused glance, picking up your two heaviest suitcases and beckoning you both to the landing strip. Peter swallowed his food. 

   He didn’t even like Cinnamon Toast Crunch that much. He was just thrilled that you knew his real name.


   Everything about this kid was infuriatingly dorky in the cutest way possible. You came to this conclusion as you boarded the jet with ease, sitting in your usual spot by the window and greeting Happy with your typical friendly smile and idle chitchat. Peter stumbled onto it with awe written across his features as he stared around the place, touching nearly everything much to Happy’s dismay. 

   “Haven’t you been on a plane before?” The man asked, growing irritated with the way the kid was filming everything. You saw Peter zoom in on Happy’s face and grinned out your window. 

   “Nope, never!” Peter exclaimed, his video camera still in front of him as he captured every detail of his trip. 

   “Well, sit down so we can take off,” Happy said gruffly, grabbing Peter’s shoulders and forcefully placing him into a seat. 

  Peter sat still for a moment, then hopped over to the seat next to you. He placed his camera in front of him on the tray table. “Y/N, smile for the camera. I’m recording.” You looked at him, then turned to the camera and gave it a deadpan stare. You even threw in a slow blink. “Good enough,” he shrugged. He kept it recording as he shifted in his seat so that his entire body was facing you, his chin resting in his hand and his elbow on your armrest. His gaze was sort of nice. “So, Miss Stark, I have a few questions.” 

   “Um, okay, shoot,” you closed your book that you had open on your lap. “I’m not that interesting, just so you know.” 

  “I think you’re interesting,” he assured you. You heard Happy let out a choked laugh at Peter’s flirting attempt, but it was just another thing you found sort of lovely. It was a genuine compliment. “What’s your favorite subject in school?”

   You’d been expecting the typical what’s it like being Tony’s daughter spiel, and you were pleased to get an actual question about yourself for once. “I like everything, I guess. I kind of love school, but I don’t go to a conventional school, so. Training is cool, I like that a lot.” 

   “You train with Black Widow, I have to ask- can you show me some moves? I need to refine my technique before the fight,” he explained.  

    “Do you wanna learn how to crush people with your thighs?”

   “Wow! Do you think I could? Could you teach me? That’s so cool,” he beamed, turning to the camera for a split second with an overexcited look. 

   You pursed your lips, staring out your window for a minute. You were up in the air by now, and there was long flight ahead of you. “Maybe. If my dad is okay with it. I have to check.” Peter looked confused, 

   “Why wouldn’t he be?” 

   “He’s, you know, really overprotective.” You put your first against the cheek, leaning the same way that Peter was. You sighed. “I don’t have a lot of friends. Which is fine, but I can’t even attempt to go make any because I have a whole freaking SWAT team on my ass the minute I step out of the tower because he’s so worried about my safety.” You let your head hit the window, your eyes rolling skyward. “And that makes no sense because-” 

   “You’re really strong and stuff. You can protect yourself,” Peter finished. 

    “I think you know me a little too well, Peter,” you said, poking him lightly in the arm. “But… yeah, exactly. I don’t really get to do anything fun. I don’t have adventures. Sure, reading is fun and studying is fun for me and training is great and I love hanging out with everyone in the tower but I’m still a teenager. No fun for me, though. My life is pretty boring, sorry if that makes your little video diary suck.” You stuck your tongue out at his camera.  

   “No worries,” he said, taking it off the tray table and turning it toward you. “Tell me every boring detail, Miss Stark.” 

   “As long as you stop calling me Miss Stark.” 

   “You’ve got a deal.” 

   It was a seven hour trip, and you both passed out by the three hour mark after Peter had pried every excruciating detail from your life out of you. You hated sleeping on airplanes, but your head was slumped against his shoulder and his arm was knocking against your own and his sweatshirt was as soft as pillow. You remembered the shy glance he had given you just before you knocked out on his shoulder for the remainder of the flight. He had a sweet smile. 


    Peter filmed absolutely everything. He filmed himself getting off the plane and then filmed you getting off the plane and nearly shoved the camera in Happy’s face until he threatened to break it and Peter backed off. He radiated enthusiasm. “Look at this, and this, and this, oh shit wow that’s so cool look at this! Oh man this is good stuff!”

   “Peter this is literally just the airport how am I supposed to take you around the actual city?!”

   “OH WOW Y/N have you seen this!” 

    “Yes, Peter!” 

     He zoomed in on your face, your devoid of emotion look appearing again. “Are you ever gonna smile for the camera?” He gave you a pout, doe eyes and all. You turned away. 

   “No. I’m supposed to be babysitting you, please be behave.” You touched your fingers to the bridge of your nose, dragging Peter to a couch. “Please sit. We’re getting the hotel reservations checked.” 

   “Do they juice boxes? I’m really thirsty.” He was just trying to make you laugh at this point, and annoying you was kind of funny for him. You let out an involuntary chuckle when he pretended to claw at his throat, throwing himself on the ground. 

   “I’ll make sure they have juice boxes for you, Petey. You’re such a seven year old, geez.” You pretended to gag. 

   Looking offended, Peter replied, “I’m actually twelve.” 

   Jokingly, you said, “You’re a twelve year old that’s going to get a punch in the face if you don’t settle down right now.” He stood up, directly in front of you with his light eyes and little grin, another feverish looking heat burning at his face. Nevertheless, he still said, “It’d be an honor to get beaten up by you.” 

  His voice, the sincerity he carried within it despite the ludicrous statement, made you feel those famed butterflies fluttering inside you. Maybe it was the way he looked into your eyes as he said it. Maybe it wasn’t. But something within you was starting to like Peter Parker, and you’d barely known him for twenty four hours. 

   Then again, it was hard to not like Peter. The kid was just so damn likable. 


   He had known it from the moment he first set his eyes upon you that day in the tower that he was a goner. If he had known it then, just from sitting down across from you with nothing to him but his lanky figure and a suit that resembled a onesie more than it did a costume fit for a hero such as he, he was sure of it now, a week and a half later. 

   Every day had been the same routine. He’d be up bright and early in the morning so you could help with him his training, teaching him how to utilize the suit your father had given him with ease rather than his usual tactic of jumping into everything blind. You’d been the one to help come up with nearly all of the web shooter combinations. He didn’t know all of them yet, or close to half of them, but he was progressing wonderfully. 

   After training, you’d give him the tour of your favorite places around Germany, close enough to where you’d both be able to get back to the hotel before dark. He filmed the both of you constantly, but you shied away from the cameras every time without fail. He couldn’t understand why, but he didn’t push. He just liked filming in general, and would accept you not smiling in any of his clips as long as you were still in there. 

   There was a beautiful sense of normalcy that came with hanging around Peter. You reveled in it. No one had ever made you laugh so hard with his ridiculous attempts at jokes or made you smile so much at his shy flirting skills that clearly needed to be revisited. 

   It was okay. You didn’t mind. And the fact that you didn’t tease him for it made him so, so happy. 

   Then, came the day of the fight. Peter had his camera out, he was dressed in his spidey suit, and you were standing there next to him dictating who he should and shouldn’t go after. 

   “Don’t go after Wanda ‘cause she could obliterate you in two seconds and Cap could crush you, too, but he won’t ‘cause he’s really nice like that. Bucky won’t care as much, though, so don’t do that- Ant-Man seems pretty cool and harmless but I don’t have as much intel on him and Peter if you get hurt you have to go hide somewhere-” 

   “I’m not gonna get hurt,” he said confidently. 

   You ignored him. “I’m gonna be in your earpiece, figuratively speaking, so I’ll hear everything you do and if you talk I’ll be able to hear you and you can hear me. So, just… keep me updated.” Peter took off his mask for a second, hair sticking up everywhere from the static. You leaned up, smoothing it back into place. Everything about him was soft. You wanted to curl up in it and stay there for as long as you could. 

   “I’ll be fine, Y/N, don’t worry,” Peter placed his hand on your shoulder. You felt your face heat up. 

   “I- I’m not worried.” You totally were. “I know you’ll be fine.” You didn’t want him getting hurt. “I just want you to be careful.” You didn’t want him to fight. 

   You could’ve sworn his face fell a  bit when you said you weren’t worried, but he squeezed your shoulder anyway. Without a moment’s hesitation, you threw your arms around him, your nose pressing against his neck as you took a deep breath. He stood there for a second without doing anything until he realized that if he didn’t hug you back, he’d be the dumbest person on the face of the Earth. You felt his surprisingly defined arms hug you back. 

   You didn’t look at him when you pulled away. You stared at the spider emblazoned on his chest, gave him a quick good luck, then departed from the room. You sat on your own hotel bed with a rapidly beating heart.

    The nerves were killing you. Ten more minutes. You opened your laptop and pulled up the system that would allow you to communicate across Team Stark. You were more focused on your dad and Peter. You tapped into your dad’s earpiece after placing the headset on. “Dad?” You spoke into the microphone. 

   “Hey, kiddo, everything okay?” 

   “Y-Yeah I just-” you took another breath. “Be safe. I love you.” 

   “I love you too, Y/N. Are you sure everything is okay over there?” 

   “Can you just make sure Peter gets out okay? If he gets hurt, bring him right back, please. That’s it.” Maybe it was a stupid request in someone else’s eyes, but you needed Peter to make it back in one piece. Tony Stark looked over at Peter Parker, crouching in his hiding spot and fumbling around with the gloves of his suit and gave the kid a knowing smile. Of course that was the one his  daughter fell for in the end. Perfectly fitting. 

   “I’ll make sure.” You knew your father couldn’t see the grateful smile on your face, the sigh of relief that fell past your lips when he spoke these words.

   Peter Parker, I swear if you make it out of this, I will smile like an idiot in every single one of your stupidly adorable video diary things. I swear. Just be safe.


 “Your black eye is awful,” you told him, dabbing at it with more cream. “Totally ruins your face.”

   “I think I look manly.” 

   “You think incorrectly.” You stepped back, your fingertips tilting his chin up so you could examine it further. “I think I got the worst of it. You did really well, Peter. Exceptionally well.” His face was glowing from your compliment. 

   “Can I get on that tape?” He asked excitedly, ducking under his hotel bed for his camera. You nodded, and he switched the camera on. He held out his arm so that you were both in frame. And you smiled. He forgot all about what you were supposed to say the moment that beautiful smile appeared there. “I- wow, Y/N.” 

   “What?’ 

    His stare was kind as it usually was. “You just-” he paused. “Your smile is really, really beautiful.” There was no way for you to turn away from the camera this time and you were left grinning like a lovestruck idiot at the boy in front of you, leaning up on your toes to press a kiss to his cheek. 

  “Thank you.” 

  You slept the entire plane ride the way you had the last time, curled up against Peter. This time, it was intentional. One of your arms was flung across his waist and his was wrapped around your shoulders, the sweatshirt he had came in now swaddling you cozily. There were two separate cars waiting for you. You stood in between them when the flight got off, the sleeves of his sweater hanging off your hands as you reached out to grab his. He felt you push a piece of paper into his hand. “You better call me, Peter Parker. I’ll be really upset if you don’t.” 

   He wrapped you suddenly in an embrace that lifted you off your feet just a little bit, his lips pressing against your temple. “I’ll call you every day.” 


   He kept true to his word. Every day without fail, your phone rang with a call from Peter, and you fell asleep on the phone with him more often than not. If you weren’t on the phone with him, you were texting him, and if you weren’t doing that, you wished that you were. The consistent communication was better than nothing, but regardless, you missed his presence. You missed the way you felt walking next to him as he explained why chocolate ice cream was so clearly better than vanilla. You just missed him. 

   “Peter?” You held the phone to your ear, nestled in your blankets already even though it was barely nine o'clock. His sleepy voice mumbled out a yes? “Would it be stupid if I said that I missed you?” 

  She could practically hear his wide smile through the phone. “Of course not. I miss you, too. So much. Probably more than you miss me.” 

   “That’s so not true!” She scoffed. 

    “Wanna bet?” His tone was mischievous, no longer the hoarse, pretty voice of a boy just waking up from his nap. “Open your bedroom door.” 

    “Are you joking?” 

    You hung up the phone, throwing back your covers and not caring one bit that your hair was a dripping mess from your shower or that you were wearing  a terrible set of hello kitty pajamas that weren’t meant for anyone over the age of ten based on the size of the top. You nearly tackled him to the ground when you saw him standing in your doorway, a happy squeal escaping your lips. You were surprised he even got in, considering your dad wasn’t home, but you figured Vision had let him in. Vision always had a way of knowing. 

   “Have I ever told you that you have a really pretty smile?” Peter’s lips hovered over yours, almost hesitant. You took the initiative to kiss first, your hands delving into his silk-like hair. There was no point in waiting anymore. Your noses bumped together clumsily when he tilted his head back, admiring. You could feel your whole being light up when he gazed at you the way that he did, in that admiring, careful, Peter way of his. 

   “Careful, Spidey,” You warned, hands on his chest as you stared right back up at him. 

   “Careful of what?” He quirked an eyebrow. 

   “You’re going to make me fall in love with you one of these days if you keep looking at me like that.” It was only the truth, and you were a honest person.

   “That’s sort of the plan,” he shrugged in a seemingly careless way, but he couldn’t hide it. He was an open book. An open book who loved you, and the way that you smiled at him when he pulled back his sleeve to reveal a web shooter, a strange glint in those brown eyes of his as he said, “You up for an adventure?” 

Humans are space orcs, eh?

I’m new to this, but I love what I’m reading in the feed lately, so, trying my hand!

Some ideas:

What if the greatest diplomacy problem in dealing with humans is that they seem to lie about past events constantly, even to someone who witnessed the same events?  Then it’s discovered that humans have recording devices of all kinds– security cameras, diaries, mp3– and the problem becomes clear.  Humans lie, but not that badly.  The poor, fretful creatures just have a species-wide brain defect.  Kindly aliens take to recording every event and encounter they can, then preface every diplomatic meeting with a record swap so the humans can brush up on what actually happened and the aliens can get some insight into what the humans have been falsely thinking happened.  Ambassadors to Earth get supplementary training in how to handle people with memory impairments, and human ambassadors to other worlds start hiring aliens– ANY aliens– to be their assistants.  Everything smooths out after that.

Religion.  Aliens intellectually understand how religion works and that there are different kinds, but they don’t really “get” it.  The biggest confusion regards whether the humans, who do seem to have some sort of empathic abilities at least, are actually communing with incorporeal beings/forces… and if so, why some humans seem able to commune with more than one, while other humans not at all.  Notable scholars have decided that the rituals and paraphernalia have nothing to do with the beings or forces being communed with, but muddied the matter by suggesting that the rituals may be important for a human’s ability to commune.  Alien non-scholars, eager to accommodate this new species and prove that space is nothing to be afraid of– nobody wants a repeat of the H’j’g’rcxin Xenophobia disaster– simply treat any and all religious requests as vital necessities for their human guests and crewmen.  Accommodation becomes so ordinary that when the first religious argument erupts between an engineer and a navigator, the biggest shock is that one of them objects to the other wearing a turban, something which does not affect work performance in any way.

Styling.  Alien species each have their own primary sense that they rely on, and when they find out that humans primarily rely on sight, well.  Reliant on sight means that surface patterns and colorings are particularly important to them, right?  They will have evolved to be individually distinctive in appearance?  New human crew are automatically assigned a mentor from another vision-reliant species, so someone will be able to tell them apart until the auditory and pheromone labels are attached to their uniforms.  Then Abby comes to mess with a new haircut and sparkly chapstick one day, and the mentor has no idea who she is or how she got aboard.

Word of Stabby the Space Roomba spreads, and soon every ship with a human captain or sufficiently high number of human crew has a Stabby.  Names vary, but most of them are Stabby.  One ship becomes low-key known for sending out broadcasts of Stabby McStabberson, son of Stabberson, son of Stabber, and its adventures stabbing juice boxes in zero-G.

Aesthetics.  Humans have a bewildering tendency to open starmaps or sneak into the scientific observation module at odd times, including with a mate or offspring, and just stare at open space.  Not even particular stars, although they like to study and talk about particular stars and clusters at times, but just, the whole of space.  Why do they do it?  Nobody knows.  Humans behave as though intoxicated during these times, but productivity lowers dramatically if they are barred access– if barring access even works in the first place, given humans’ seemingly endless ability to get into places where they aren’t supposed to be.

Fire.  Due to different atmospheric content, inability to heal from burns, or just plain never needing to cook their food, no alien species has ever utilized fire as a tool.  When humans say that learning to use fire may have been the start of their civilization, everybody believes that the humans are just talking a tough game to make up for their lower technology level, or– once they learn about human hierarchies– to compensate for a perceived lack of political status.  Then a human sees a catastrophic explosion on a hostile planet and laughs.  Then another shushes panicking engineers and smothers an accidental fire with some garments.  Then another builds a bonfire out of dead plantlife and a shredded religious document to warm an injured alien crewman after xir endothermic suit is punctured and the planet rotates away from its sun.  Humans– soft, cuddly, pack-bonds-even-with-inanimate-objects humans– are comfortably in control of the most terrifying force of disaster the galaxy has ever known.  Aliens stop being surprised that we nearly made ourselves extinct so many times in history.

“Why does your larval stage look so similar to your mature stage?  How do you know when a human is old enough to leave the Pit of Offspring?  Or to mate?”

Golden Boy

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 2165

Warnings: Smut - NSFW

Summary: After playfully sending suggestive pictures to Chris right before he presents at the Oscars you realize that you are in for the night of your life.

Author’s Notes: This wasn’t planned. I had no idea Chris was going to wear a velvet bowtie to the Oscars. I’m basically CEvans Trash. I literally just wrote this – instead of watching the freaking Oscars – so if there are any ridiculous grammar errors – please forgive me… I am tired and hormonal. This is probably trash, ha!

I tagged those of you that liked my initial post asking about this (along with some others). Soo yeah…..

Originally posted by sensualkisses

You hummed to yourself absentmindedly as you applied the rest of your makeup. Chris had promised his mom that he would take her to the Oscars this year, and you had agreed that it was a good idea. After the show was over you were to meet up with him to go to the after parties – which, let’s face it, were always the best part of the night. As you rapped your knuckles lightly on the bathroom countertop your phone dinged – alerting you to an incoming message. You reached for it as you finished putting on your lipstick. Of course it was from Chris.

“Miss you beautiful. Can’t wait to show you off to everyone.” You couldn’t help but smile at this. Of course he would send you something sweet. He had panicked that you would be upset about not going with him to the show, but you had assured him over and over that it was fine.

You had watched him get ready earlier that afternoon – the sight of him in his fitted suit and velvet tie had left your panties soaked. While you had secretly hoped for a quickie before he left for the show you had reasoned with yourself that there wasn’t time. Even the thought of the way he looked caused the tingling between your legs to start again. You checked the time on your cellphone before smiling. If the show was running on time Chris would be presenting within the next five minutes – you turned towards the television playing in the hotel bedroom for confirmation that the scheduling had not gone askew. It hadn’t and you couldn’t help but think how perfect the timing was. You were still only wearing your lingerie – not willing to wear your beautiful dress in fear of getting makeup on it. You positioned your hand over your panties, suggestively touching yourself, and formed a pout before snapping a picture.

“Wishing you could give me a hand.” You texted as you sent the picture. You could tell by your notifications that he had immediately seen it and you couldn’t help but smirk to yourself as you sat your phone down and finished getting ready.


“Jesus Christ,” Chris muttered to himself as he opened your text.

“Everything okay?” Someone beside him asked.

“Oh yeah… yeah,” he nervously blundered as he secured his phone safely back into his pocket. He was due to go on national television any minute, and was now also secretly praying that he could quell his body’s response to your text long enough to present. He chuckled nervously to himself. He knew you had done it on purpose. He had told you when his presentation was, and who it was after so you wouldn’t miss it. “I swear to god, Y/N. You’re going to be the death of me,” he mumbled to himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Mr. Evans are you sure you’re okay?” A stagehand asked nervously.

“Never been better!” He announced a little too enthusiastically. Causing his co-presenter to jump beside me.

“Great… you are on in five….four…”

That was fine – he thought to himself – two could certainly play this game and payback was going to be a bitch.


You were nervous. After your text you had never received a response from Chris, but you were sure that he had saw it. Initially you had laughed during his presentation. He seemed maybe just a little flustered – most people wouldn’t have noticed, but most people hadn’t taken him to bed before either. As you exited the limousine you looked around nervously – nearly jumping out of your skin when a warm arm wrapped itself around your waist.

“Hey Babe,” he whispered into your ear – giving you a quick peck on the cheek. You looked up at him and he graced you with one his dazzling smiles. It was only when you really looked into his eyes that you realized he had definitely seen the picture, had certainly reacted to it, and the game was totally on. You swallowed hard – trying to bottle up your excitement as he smirked at you while you walked towards the entrance of the venue. “Just for the record,” he whispered – his beard tickling your ear – “I had to masturbate in the bathroom during the Academy Awards, because of you.” He gave your ass a quick slap which caused you to straighten up in surprise. You couldn’t help but smirk back at him – this was certainly going to be a night to remember.


“Sebby!” Chris shouted as he waived Sebastian over to your table. Sebastian said his hellos before taking a seat between Jeremy and Chris.

“What was up with you tonight?” Sebastian asked with a smirk. His eyes seemed to twinkle with humor as he offered you a wink.

“What do you mean?” Chris asked as he tried his hardest to keep a straight face – failing miserably.

“You seemed a little flustered is all,” Sebastian shrugged as he laughed. “Can’t imagine what would cause Chris to lose his cool,” he added to which Jeremy chuckled.

“I was a little distracted by something,” Chris added seriously as he turned his gaze to you. You knew the more his friends joked the more you were going to pay once you were alone with him.

You smiled shyly as you brought a glass of wine to your lips. “I guess you need to work on that babe,” you shrugged before turning your attention back to your conversation with Jeremy’s wife.


The following hours seemed uneventful – at least where Chris’s revenge was concerned. You gushed over celebrities like Emma Stone, as he politely introduced you – never taking his eyes off of you as you interacted with his friends. Everyone continued to drink – the alcohol seemed endless. Each time a bottle was finished at least two more arrived to replace it.

“Everyone should be dancing!” Sebastian declared as he rose from his chair.

“Oh come on man,” Chris muttered as he shook his head. His face was tinged pink from the amount of alcohol he had consumed. “I don’t know if I can even stand right now,” he laughed.

“Y/N?” Sebastian asked as he offered you his hand. You took it willingly looking over his shoulder to see Chris’s reaction. He was watching you like a hawk – good.

You left the table with Sebastian hand-in-hand. Out of all of Chris’s friends you liked Sebastian the best – probably because you had known him before you had ever met Chris. “You are going to have hell to pay,” Seb laughed as you danced against him.

“A girl can only hope,” you laughed as you smirked in Chris’s direction. He was already rising from his chair – his eyes trained only on you and his best friend.

“That didn’t take long,” Sebastian laughed as Chis meandered his way through the crowd. As he neared Sebastian shouted, “She’s all yours,” before laughing and walking back to the table where everyone else had stayed.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Chris muttered into your ear as he pulled you roughly into him. He placed his hands on your hips –guiding them to grind into him as you felt his growing erection. “You kill me,” he muttered breathlessly against your neck. You could feel the wetness between your legs grow as he continued to harden against your contact. The feeling caused you to let out a soft moan. “Oh do you like that,” he whispered seductively into your ear.

“Yes,” you responded breathlessly. “Chris, I…” but he cut you off.

“Follow me,” he demanded as he took your hand, guiding you towards one of the many private bathrooms. Being a celebrity had its perks – at least you had a room to yourself.


You sighed as Chris looked the bathroom door behind him. You were ready. Ready for him to ravage every part of your body.

“Not so fast,” he chuckled as he pushed you gently onto the couch – you never quite understood the need for couches in bathrooms, but for once you were glad to have one. You pouted quietly as Steve took you in. “Now listen here baby girl – you’ve been torturing me all night. Sending me that naughty picture of you and grinding yourself up against my best friend. Now it’s my turn,” he muttered softly as he slowly removed his tie. “Give me your hands,” he commanded. You obeyed giving him your hands. He took them in his hands and tied the velvet material around them securely. He spun you on the couch – making you lay on it fully before raising your hands above your head. “These better not move, do you understand me?” He asked. You nodded as you whimpered your assent. You would do whatever he said if he would help the aching feeling between your legs.

He smirked as he worked your dress up to your waist – admiring a portion of the lingerie he had seen earlier in the picture. He slowly planted kisses up your leg causing you to squirm uncontrollably. More than anything you wanted to twist your fingers through his hair and you soon found your hands moving from their position. “What did I say?” he asked calmly as you placed your hands back above your head. “Good girl,” he hummed – kissing your wet core through your panties. “I think we can get rid of these,” he murmured against your skin as he worked your panties off. He gently circled his thumb around your sensitive clit causing you to buck your hips. “Mmm, my naughty girl. You’re so wet,” he remarked as he slid a finger inside of you causing you to moan out his name. “That’s right baby, you’re mine,” he said fiercely as he added another finger – pumping them in and out of you as you squirmed with pleasure. You could feel your walls tightening at his touch and your moans became louder. You didn’t care who heard you. “Not yet baby,” he whispered as he removed his fingers.

“What?” Your head snapped forward at this. He couldn’t just get you close and then stop. “Chris,” you whined as you tried to sit up. He pushed you back gently with a smile before moving his face between your legs. He smirked up at you before burying his face into you. As he lapped at your wetness you moaned his name louder causing him to suck on your sensitive clit. As you bucked your hips he slid a finger into you. His mouth and fingers were too much – causing you to cum all over his face. He lapped away your orgasm – causing more moans to fall from your mouth – before he broke away with a smirk. His beard was glistening with the remnants of your pleasure which immediately made you ready for round two.

“Stand up,” he demanded as he stood and offered you his hand. You placed your bound ones in his and he helped you to your feet. “I want you to bend over the sink,” he explained as he motioned over to the sink. You did as he commanded – your bound wrists stinging softly as the velvet bit into your soft flesh. You watched in the mirror as he removed himself from his pants – stroking himself a few times before approaching you from behind. He lifted your dress to your waist again before nudging your legs apart with his own. As he slid into you fully you groaned. He began to thrust into you as he held on to your hips tightly. “God – you are so tight,” he exclaimed as his thrusts began to become more disjointed. You groaned as your body reacted to his thrusts – you could feel your walls tightening again with the promise of a glorious orgasm. When he began palming your sensitive clit you came undone around him – your orgasm spurring his own. He stiffened as he filled you with himself. He sighed softly into your hair as he kissed the back of your neck affectionately before removing himself.

“So that’s what happens when I send you nudes when you’re at the Oscars?” you asked with a laugh as you sat shakily on the couch.

“I guess so,” he chuckled as he plopped down beside you – wrapping his arm around you and bringing your head to his shoulder.

“Well I guess I should do that more often,” you shrugged as you both laughed.

“Oh hell,” Chris sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What is it?” you asked alarmed.

“Seb and I had a bet on who would have sex at an Oscars’ after party years ago. I never thought it would be me so I’ve given him hell for years about it,” he grimaced.

“Well I guess it’s time to pay up,” you chuckled as you both rose from the couch.

“It was worth every last fucking penny,” Chris responded as he pulled you into him – planting a soft kiss on your lips.


Tags: (I tagged those of you that liked my initial post asking about this along with a few others)

@writingblockswriters @kendallefire @marvelouslyloki @seargantbcky @sapphire1727 @dont-let-me-go-again @amrita31199 @kittthekat @3brosangel @yknott81 @samanthaneedsanap @dreamer1495 @frolicsomefawkes @totallygroovyllama @caffeineandlaserbeams @sebbys-girl @bless-my-demons @moonofhisheart @giggles2107 @summerbummer2001 @ninjayjumper @vidishajain @fan-guirl @ily-celebrities @harleyqueen7

NHL!Bitty, Part IX - ‘Loose Lips Sink Ships’

(Alright, you guys voted for #2, so enjoy!)

Eric gets hit on in a hotel bar during All-Star weekend. For the first time in a long time, it’s not because he’s a famous hockey player.

It would be very flattering, except the man trying to seduce him works for Jack’s PR firm, and bro is playing fast and loose with some seriously confidential information. 

NHL!Bitty Masterpost!


It’s been a long, exhausting day. Between the flight, check-in, the press junket, the photo ops, all Eric wants is to get a little bit drunk with the guys, grab some dinner, and fool around in Jack’s hotel room. Hopefully in that order, but he’s open to fooling around whenever.

He must have a dopey smile on his face thinking about the debauchery he’s been looking forward to all week when he realizes someone is watching him from across the bar. 

Tall, nice hair, professional, and he’s looking at Eric, no, at the empty chair next to him. And he’s walking over. 

“Is this seat taken?”

Keep reading

Miraculous Headcanon

Warning: i have been adding to this headcanon for nearly a month so it is pretty long xD OOPS SORRY NOT SORRY (i did put a cut though, so, yeah) NO REGRETS

  • Marinette is a youtuber
  • Her channel consists of mostly sped up videos of her drawing designs and making her designs. Some have voice over, some have soothing and relaxing music.
  • Her channel blew up
  • Partially because, wow, she’s really talented for only being in high school
  • And people just really enjoyed watching her work, it’s very unique
  • Sometimes she’ll do simple tutorials on how to make a simple skirt, or get started on designing, but those are more rare videos
  • She has a second channel that is less professional than her main, where she posts a bunch of random vlogs that her and Alya take whenever they do something interesting, or even some random challenges. Most of these videos involve Alya, since she got Marinette to make a second channel for fun vlogs
  • Her international followers (#subtitles) find it very interesting anytime she talks about Ladybug and Chat Noir because there are legit superheroes in Paris and no other part of the world has seen that.
  • They vlog all sorts of things
    • going to the craft store for new fabrics, buttons, patterns, literally anything Marinette needs for her next project (or they’re just bored)
    • They record random things they see around Paris, cosplayers of LB and CN, pigeons being weird, aesthetics
    • Alya and Marinette have a weekly “review” which includes Alya buying something for Marinette to review- mostly themed around her favorite heroes
    • Sometimes just walking around the mall. Nino is spotted in many vlogs as well, but Adrien is rarely seen since he is already around so many cameras in his normal life Marinette is respecting his privacy
  • A lot more below the cut because I have been working on this headcanon for nearly a month!

Keep reading

Smells like teen primadonna spirit.

Bit of background. My little brother was in a high school band, and although I was never part of it, I used to drive them around to gigs and occasionally to the studio. I could drive, and if I helped my little brother out, it meant I got to borrow our Mother’s car for a while, so it wasn’t entirely altruistic.

As well as lil bro (guitar), there was also Kev (vocals), Bob (guitar) and Dave (drums).

This was in the late ‘90s, I was about 19-20 during these events, Lil’ Bro is 2 years younger than me. They were a rock/grunge band. Kev was very much the ringleader. His Dad worked for a local radio station at a town about 100 miles away, and Kev would often insist on making decisions for the band because his Dad’s background trumped everything. His Dad was a producer.
Mostly all happy times, although Kev would often pick on Dave, and drummers in general. “What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer.” Etc.

Keep reading

as a long-time figure skating fan, i’ve been really looking forward to yuri on ice, and i wanted to talk a little bit about the skating in episode 1. i worry that maybe people who aren’t as into skating don’t understand how RIDICULOUS that program viktor did was.

this is not in any way a complaint. the program was completely unrealistic, but not because anyone involved with the show neglected to do their research. it was clear they actually put a ton of research & work in, and then intentionally designed something that was the skating equivalent of your power level being over 9000. viktor (and yuri) went out there and threw down the skating version of a level 100 mewtwo. it was DELIGHTFUL.

so first of all:

four quads is… not technically IMPOSSIBLE, but right at the very edge of what is currently possible in men’s figure skating. a quad (jump with four revolutions) is REALLY DIFFICULT. as recently as 2010, the olympic champion in men’s skating didn’t even have ONE quad in his program; i remember as recently as five years ago scott hamilton saying TWO quads was “superhuman.” the highest score EVER received in men’s skating was yuzuru hanyu at the grand prix final in 2015, where he performed three quads. the second highest score ever received was javier fernandez at worlds last year, where he also performed three quads. skating fans can correct me if i’m wrong but the only skater i can think of who has EVER performed four quads in one program is boyang jin, who is tiny and has made jump rotation his whole life. to have a seasoned 27-year-old skater performing four quads is completely delightful nonsense.

his first jump is a quad lutz. for some context, the rough ranking of skating jumps from easiest to most difficult is something like: toe loop, salchow, loop, flip, lutz, axel. you might notice a lutz is the SECOND MOST DIFFICULT JUMP POSSIBLE, and actually more difficult than the axel for some skaters. accordingly, MOST quads are toe loops or salchows. since a quad axel has literally never been performed, a quad lutz is the SINGLE MOST DIFFICULT jump ever landed in skating competition, EVER. although people have been trying to do quad lutz since the early 2000s, you can probably count the number of skaters who have landed it successfully on one hand. this jump is nearly ALWAYS underrotated or even downgraded to a triple. in my lifetime as a skating fan i can only think of a couple times i’ve seen this jump landed as cleanly as viktor does it here.

if that wasn’t enough, the lutz usually has a very specific set-up where the skater glides backward on one foot for a couple seconds before turning their skate blade onto the outside edge. that’s how the technique for the lutz jump is TAUGHT. it’s extremely impressive for someone to be able to throw a lutz out there without this setup. viktor does it and gets four full rotations.

then he follows it up with:

the first quad flip IN HISTORY was landed for the first time LAST APRIL. APRIL 2016. i also remember people trying this one back in 2010-2011, but it wasn’t successfully landed until THIS YEAR. and it’s viktor’s SIGNATURE MOVE!!! and he does it immediately after landing the other most difficult jump in skating!!!!!! he just pulled out two jumps most skaters can only dream of ever landing maybe once in their entire careers, BACK TO BACK.

again, the HIGHEST SCORE EVER AWARDED IN MEN’S FIGURE SKATING, EVER, was given to a program with one quad salchow and two quad toe loops. jumps SIGNIFICANTLY easier (but still extremely difficult) than viktor’s two opening jumps. and he’s just fucking getting started.

he does a flawless triple axel and then some footwork and spins. then he throws out something maybe a touch less superhuman:

for any real life skater, this would already be one of the greatest performances of their career. but viktor isn’t done yet.

he does a long (gorgeous) footwork sequence, triple lutz, triple flip, and:

i already mentioned how ridiculous four quads is, but this is even better. skaters will typically put their most difficult jumps near the beginning of the program, because they’re easier to land before your legs get tired. recognizing this, the scoring system gives you an extra 10% bonus on the jump’s value if it’s in the second half of the program. viktor pulls out a quad-triple combo, still one of the most difficult jumps in figure skating, as his LAST JUMP. HIS LAST JUMP. a free skate program lasts four and a half minutes. after four and a half minutes of grueling, exhausting activity, viktor soars into a quad-triple so beautiful it could be used to teach the combination to other skaters.

AND YURI KEEPS UP WITH ALL OF THIS. YURI, WHO CAME IN LAST AT THE GPF. YURI CAN DO THIS TOO. this program is significantly more difficult than anything that has ever been competed irl, and this show has TWO SKATERS DOING IT SIMULTANEOUSLY. WHAT A GREAT SHOW???

for any skating nerds out there, here is my breakdown of the jumps in viktor’s program:

4Lz - 13.60
4F - 12.30
3A - 8.50
4S - 10.50
3A+3Lo+2Lo - 15.40
3Lz x - 6.60
3F x - 5.83
4T+3T x - 16.06

to explain what this means. the world record score in men’s figure skating was given to yuzuru hanyu in 2015. for that program, the base value for the jumps alone (so not even taking execution into consideration, just the sheer value yuzuru got for completing the jumps he did) was 79.87 points

the total base value of the jumps viktor (and yuri) performed in this program was 88.79.

this program would have handily crushed the world record. and yuri throws it out there in his home rink when he’s out of shape during the off-season.

Humans are weird: The lost colony

*Quick note before I start: This is the first installment in a series I’ve called the Lost Colonies which is largely about human society adapting to the strange environments of other worlds. You can read the other installments here: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed writing this series, but with my new work schedule I had to bring it to a close. If you’ve enjoyed this story follow me on here for my other writings. Thanks again to everyone who has reblogged, liked, replied, DMed, or otherwise shown their appreciation for this series. It means a lot to me that people enjoyed it and the love you’ve all shown me has really helped keep me going for these last few months.*

An adult Turic sits behind a desk jotting down notes as a recorder takes down the interview for future analysis.
“I understand that this entire ordeal has been stressful for you and your fellow colonists but due to your unique situation we would like to use this opportunity to better understand human culture. Please let me know if we need to stop or if there is anything I can do to make you more comfortable.”
The human, a younger female by the name of Kiara fidgets in her seat.
“No, I’m fine, I just haven’t ever seen an alien before. Hell, until a few months ago no one had ever heard anything but legends of people from outer space.”
The Turic looks down at his notes as he tries to reconcile this information.
“According to our research it says that your colony was originally founded just over 500 Sols ago. Are you saying that in that short amount of time your colony’s knowledge of spacefaring and other sapient races was erased?”
“I guess? What’s a Sol though? How long would that be?”
“Oh, a unit of time measurement based on the solar rotation of your home world. Prior to your race’s colonization of other worlds you referred to it as a year. For reference, you are estimated to be 22 Sols old.”
“Then yeah, that makes a lot of sense. We didn’t really have permanent settlements and had to keep moving. One of the older stories said that we came to our world in a fiery ship and that the remains of it could be found out in the wastes once a cycle. That’s what we call it when the Thaw comes back to the same point.”
“I have heard some of the other colonists mention this Thaw. This is the name for the habitable zone in which your colony exists, correct?”
“Yeah, you live in the Thaw, you move with the Thaw. The Thaw keeps you from burning or freezing as long as you work with it. It protects you, feeds you and keeps you alive, but it always moves so you need to move with it.”

The Turic frantically scribbles notes on its data pad.
“Fascinating. It appears as though your civilization has come to mythologize a natural phenomenon the way your ancestors on earth frequently would. Your colony was founded on a planet that was almost what we would call tidally locked. In essence one side of it always faced your neighboring star and it rotated as it spun around it so that the same side always faced it at all times. However the spin was off by a small fraction so that the planet gradually rotated to have a day/night cycle, but this cycle was so slow that it took roughly 50 Sols for a single rotation. This would have made for a narrow band of surviveable temperatures but one that was constantly shifting albeit at a slow pace.”
Kiara stared blankly at the Turic.
“Sorry, that went a little over my head. What I think I caught from that though is that one side of my world faced the light and one side faced the dark and we lived in the space between. Which yeah, that’s the Thaw.”
“I apologize, this is fascinating for me, I’m just curious as to how or why your people took what appears to be such a large step backwards in their technological capabilities.”
“Well, like I said, some of our stories say that we came from a fiery ship and that it can be found in the wastes. If my people really did come from another world, maybe we crashed and our technology broke. We do tend to keep on the move and we usually leave things behind when they break and can’t be fixed. I wasn’t old enough to remember seeing the great ship when my parents took me there and it was taken by the scorch a long time ago.”

The Turic stared at his data pad wondering how he would even begin to unravel all of this.
“Well, hopefully we can find some solid answers to this mystery someday, but I would like for you to tell me more about your colony. What is life like on your world?”
Kiara straightened up in her seat and smiled.
“My name is Kiara Williams. I’m a frost melt like my mother and father before me. We work on the very edge of the Thaw to make sure that the glaciers, mountains and streams run in the right ways when it comes time for the Thaw to reach them in full. We scout lands in the cold to find new sites for villages. We dig breaks in the ice to make sure that the largest sheets fall away from farms and villages. It’s bitter cold and dangerous work but it’s important and sometimes exciting.”
The Turic stared in an expression that would have been the human equivalent of slack-jawed.
“You colony had the technological equivalence of pre-industrialization. Are you saying that your people geoformed an ice world to ensure proper farmland using little more than steel tools and furs?”
“Well there are plenty of other jobs too. My brother is a farmer out in the warmer parts of the Thaw and I have a cousin who lives on the other end of it as a waste reclaimer.”
“And what is it that your cousin does?”
“He goes out into the scorch looking for broken things that can be fixed or things that were left behind by accident. Most people say that’s not a job for an honest person, but he has a real knack for finding stuff to sell. I heard he even managed to find a few relics off the great ship.”
The Turic made a note to track down this cousin immediately.
“Are those the only professions available?”
“Of course not. There’s bakers and builders and law makers but we do have to keep moving with the Thaw so most of us try not to stay in one place too long. It doesn’t help to get too attached. We can usually only get 3 or 4 harvests out of a plot of land before it gets too hot to grow. That’s why frost melts like me are so important to help scout the farms in advance.”

The Turic glanced at the blinking light on his recorder that was letting him know that his allotted time was nearly up.
“I’ll need to let you get back to your family unit soon, but is there anything else you can tell me about your colony or its culture?”
Kiara sighed. “Not really. Being a frost melt, I spend most of my days surrounded by ice as far as the eye can see. It’s strange and beautiful though. There’s massive mountains made of nothing but ice and I know that if I simply walk for a few hours towards out into the frost it would be cold enough to kill, but I know that I’m the one who gets to tame it. At times when the wind is calm I can breath the cold in deep and look out to the stars and wonder what it would be like to explore them too.”
Kiara looked down at her feet self consciously and laughed.
“I guess I can actually get to do that now huh?”
The Turic adopted the human expression of a smile.
“There is a lot of unexplored space out there. I’m sure the human race would be proud to have you back to help them seek it out.”

a love spell, or something like it

inspired by a post sara reblogged (this one, specifically) and the resulting conversation about different love spells, where she suggested i write the fic. i said no, go away, it’s late. then i stayed up and wrote the fic.

This doesn’t make any sense.

Though they’d never admit it—Dean especially would never admit it—they’re practically witches themselves at this point. Sam isn’t deluded enough to think otherwise. He has a fair share of spells up his sleeve that he knows by heart by now, a few more he’s working on remembering, and some he still struggles with the incantation, but at the end of the day they frequently speak Latin and throw herbs into flames, so, logically, they’re witches, or close enough to it.

And it’s because of this (and his own unfortunate experience that no one must ever speak of again, thanks) that Sam knows a love spell when he sees one.

Keep reading

Try to rip people off with shady flipped houses? Watch me flip your bank account.

So I don’t think this is entirely pro, but this just happened and I’m quite pleased with myself. Sorry for how long it is, I’m a wordy person.

Background: my girlfriend and I have been trying to buy a house for a month or two. Housing market where we live is tough, we don’t have a huge income, most houses sell within 24 hours, etc so it’s been a struggle. About a month and a half ago we found a house that was PERFECT. In the neighborhood we wanted, 2 bed 2 bath, at the very top of our price range but still doable, etc etc. Best part is that it’s beautifully renovated, new roof, everything is new and gorgeous! We put in an offer, but get outbid by someone else (which is crushing, if you have yet to experience that).

We mourn and then continue searching for other houses….until we get a call from our agent saying that the other buyers backed out and the seller is offering it to us first before putting it back on the market.

A quick important note here: the seller is the owner, but is also acting as his own real estate agent, and he runs his own business buying foreclosures and flipping them. This is important later.

Keep reading

Help (B.Barnes) *NSFW*

Help

Bucky Barnes

Warnings: swearing, dry humping, sexual themes, (no penetration!!)


Requested by Anon: can I request a fic where bucky and the reader have to share a bed and he gets horny/a wet dream? love those types of fics. and as much buildup as possible if you can? 💕💕


A/N – hopefully that was enough buildup doll! Thanks for requesting it, I loved writing this! I hope y’all liked the dry humping instead of actual sex, figured I’d switch it up a bit! xo



Keep reading

Communicating With Deities


How do I communicate with my deity?

How do I know if a deity is trying to reach me?

How can I tell if my deity accepted my offering?

How can I receive messages from my deity?

The topic of communicating with deities is the question I get asked the most so I figured it was time to give it its own post. Especially because this question doesn’t have an easy answer.  It’s not as simple as learning to give an offering or how to devote yourself to a deity. There’s no step by step, made for everyone and every deity, guide to communicating. Its ultimately something you have to figure out yourself, though I can offer some help in ways to go about figuring it out. But first I want to clear some things up about communication with deities. I feel there are a lot of misconceptions that surround it and I also need to explain WHY it’s a topic I can’t give you an easy answer to. So let’s get to that!

  1. Faith- So I’ll admit that the obsession that a lot of people have with communicating with their deities confuses me. When I started I didn’t really think much of the hows of interacting with Aphrodite because I, just like with any other religion, assumed that I had to have faith that Aphrodite was listening. I feel like a lot of people are missing that, like being a Hellenic Polytheist means you have constant, consistent, and direct messages from the gods, but that’s not the case. Faith is still an element and honestly it remains an element even when you have been devoted for years. You’re not always going to get confirmations on things you do or ask, actually most of the time you don’t. You just have to have faith they are there and listening
  2. Tumblr - This point is directly related to the first point. I believe that a lot of the misconceptions of communicating with deities and even the obsession with it has a lot to do with our community here on tumblr. I’m not here to accuse anyone or point any blame. I’m not even saying that people are lying or exaggerating. I just think because of everyone sharing their wonderful experiences it’s creating an image of communicating being a natural part of a devotee’s everyday life with their deity. I mean maybe it is for some, but not all. Honestly, a lot of what you are looking at on tumblr are snapshots of worship. Maybe that devotee received an AMAZING sign or message from their deity but perhaps that was the first one in a few months. The truth is, just like with most aspects of our lives, we like to share the fantastic on social media, so don’t take everything you read as the “normal” or the “standard” of devotion. The truth is there really isn’t one and definitely not one for communicating with deities.
  3. Skills - It’s important to keep in mind that communicating with deities can be seen as a skill. And just like with any skill there are those who are “naturally gifted” and others who have to practice practice practice in order to see any results. This is also a reason why you shouldn’t look to others’ experiences as the way it works for everyone. They could be one of those naturally gifted people who are just born tuned into the god frequency or they could also have been practicing and doing a lot of work to get the point where it’s easier to receive messages. So those of you starting out shouldn’t automatically think you will begin getting signs and messages right away, it most likely will be something you have to work towards.
  4. Deities Communicate Differently - A big reason it’s nearly impossible to say how or if a deity is communicating with you is because they do it in different ways. The way Aphrodite and me communicate may not be the same way she communicates with another devotee. A lot of it depends on the devotee. We each have a way of communicating that we will be more receptive to, whether you know it or not. Your deity might know that and choose to use that form, even if you haven’t exactly figured that out yet (fun, right? lol). A deity also may choose a way to communicate depending on the message they are trying to send you. They could also pick a way simply because they find it amusing and/or ironic (i’m looking at you, Hermes). It’s really hard for someone on the outside to tell you for sure how your deity is going to interact with you specifically. I can’t speak for the gods and I can’t speak on your personal relationship with them. Again, it’s something you have to journey through and find answers to yourself.

Now that the bad news is over with, how about I give you some good news? As I said above, I can give you some advice/tips on ways you can figure out how to communicate with your deity yourself. Remember this is a process, a journey, it’s not a faucet. Doing one of these things isn’t going to automatically start the flowing of messages. Just keep that in mind! Now onto the list!

  • Divination - Probably the most popular form of communication with deities is using some form of divination. There’s A LOT to choose from so do your research and see what calls out to you and give it a try! Some examples are tarot, oracle, runes, pendulum, scrying, bibliomancy, shufflemancy, just to name a few.
  • Meditation - I strongly recommend everyone try meditation because there’s a ton of benefits to it and one of those benefits is connecting with your deities. Not only can you receive messages and signs while mediating, the act itself opens you up to be more receptive in your everyday life!
  • Astral Travel - This is another popular method used to communicate with deities. Many people talk about not only receiving messages from their deities, but also full on interaction with them. Make sure you do your research before attempting it! It also may help to practice meditation first.
  • Dreams - Okay so this is one of the easier ones on the list to do. Basically start recording your dreams and see if you notice anything either popping out at you or that’s repeating. Sometimes your deity may just simple show up like “hey, what’s going on? You dreamin?” but other times they aren’t that obvious (why would they make it easy on us?). Recording your dreams is a great way to notice patterns because sometimes it can take multiple dreams to get a message. This applies to the universe as well. Like it took me a good chunk of my life to realize that when the universe wants me to pay attention it throws an abundance of something in my dream, where I’ll be like “shit thats a lot of elephants!” and then another dream years later “What is with all these fucking spiders!?”. Keeping a dream journal makes it easier to notice things like that. You can also ask your deity to appear in your dreams if you so choose (of course whether they do or not is up to them). Also if you’re into it you can use herbs and stones to better receive messages in your dreams and to remember them when you wake up.
  • Journaling - Anyone who has been a follower of me for awhile can probably tell you that my answer for most things is “Keep a Journal” and they are probably eyerolling me right now, lol! But I really believe in the benefits of journaling because they are abundant! I won’t go into all of them because we are talking about communicating with deities and damn it I WILL stay on topic! Just like recording your dreams, recording your waking life can help you spot patterns and possible signs that you might miss otherwise. If you’re like me and interact a lot with your deity through emotions and feelings, journaling is truly wonderful! You can start making connections between actions and your emotions that could help you better understand your deity. I also recommend doing this even if you choose to do one of the other ideas listed above. Recording your progress and your emotions is great for looking back on and seeing how far you come especially in those moments when you feel like you haven’t done much. So yeah, everyone keep a journal!
  • Open Yourself - So those of you who are witches don’t really need much explanation on this and honestly you might have already started on this one, but for the sake of those who might not know let me explain. There are different ways you can better open yourself up so receiving messages can be easier. Using certain stones, burning certain herbs/incense, using oils, casting spells, doing rituals, etc. There’s a lot you can do to help open yourself up to the universe! And these aid a lot in the techniques above!
  • Talk To Others - I know what you’re thinking “Wait, didn’t you say that looking at what someone else does is part of the problem?” Yes, i did, but it can also be helpful as long as you find the balance! Seeing how other devotees of your deity interact with them can at least give you ideas and a direction to go in. The key is not to compare and to not see their devotion as the “one true way”. Think of it more as a brainstorming session!

I just want to add that this post is my own personal opinion and personal reasons why I feel I can’t answer questions of this topic. I hope this post was helpful to those of you who took the time to read it!

Meme credit goes to my hilarious, wonderful and talented wifey @nerdywitchmomma