My Babe's Impressions of FFXV Characters
So my babe @actualdannyfenton knows nothing about Final Fantasy and they gave me their impressions of Final Fantasy XV characters that I sent them and had me crying. Here they are~
Noctis Lucis Caelum: “Look I know I said I outgrew my emo phase but MCR just released that new logo and MOM LISTEN TO THE NEW LOGO”.
Prompto Argentum: This man spends at least half an hour every morning doing his hair like that. If he doesn’t have time he slaps some gel in it and sticks his head out the window for a similar effect. He shops at Hot Topic but would never own up to it. Probably got those gloves from his emo little sister’s closet. He’s constantly saying he’s not gay but anytime ‘BUT MOM IT’S MCR’ shows up his heart melts a lil.
Gladiolus Amicitia: “Look man I’m not gay but twenty dollars is twenty dollars”. He probably acts super tough but he has a pack of Capri Suns in his bag at all times and probably had like seven Tamagotchis growing up. This man is the Mom Friend. He kept his old DS and still checks on his Nintendo Dogs at least once a week.
Ignis Scientia: “Alright class please turn to page 284. Jordan, turn to page 69 (;”. Me, an Intellectual. He probably stabbed a fork into a socket on a dare in middle school and kept the hair because some chick said it looked cool. This dude got bullied so hard in middle school and every night he said to himself “I’ll be their manager some day” and now he works at the local CVS and gets into fights with people on the internet over mundane things.
Lunafreya Nox Fleuret: This girl keeps trying to impress 'BUT MOM MCR’ by faking to like his interests but in reality only 'Me, an Intellectual’ likes her and she’s PISSED. She has a septum piercing and anytime someone breathes in her immediate vicinity she feels the need to talk about it. “I’m Vegan.” “Okay coo-” “I’M A VEGAN EVERYONE SHOULD BE VEGAN VEGANS ARE THE ONLY DECENT PEOPLE ALIVE VEG-”.
Ravus Nox Fleuret: He wears a really long cape that gets in the way of everything he does and anytime someone asks why he keeps it on he says “it’s for aesthetic” very dramatically while flipping his hair. He cares more about how he looks taking over the world than his actual plan. He didn’t start trying to destroy everything until his hair was at the perfect length and wound up missing a perfect opportunity but he passed “my bangs are so uneven I can’t be seen ruling the world with imperfect hair!!!”. He puts on eyeliner every morning without fail.
Aranea Highwind: This is Camilla from Fire Emblem but with gray hair. Loves with a burning passion but kills just as easily. “Oh you’re sad sweetheart? Who do I need to kill to make you feel better? I’ll go get the axe”. She’s a great friend and gives excellent advice but should anyone cross her she makes them wish they were never born. She probably has a thing for MCR Boy too but he’s not too happy about it. 'Me, an Intellectual’ probably thinks he’s so much smarter than her but she could wipe the floor with his whiny mansplaining ass in chess. Best friends with 'I’m not gay but twenty dollars is twenty dollars’.
Regis Lucis Caelum: Probably MCR Boy’s dad who just needs a break. He thinks his troubles are finally over until the new P!ATD album drops. He has never seen a child wear jeans so tight. Rumor has it that if you hear a loud rumbling noise from the castle it’s just him sighing because MCR Boy just found a new FOB song. He doesn’t know what a Tumblr is and everyday he thanks the lord for that until his son comes in and says “dad if I get 10,000 notes on a post will you take me to Warped Tour”.
Ardyn Izunia: Gwaine from Merlin but with purple hair. Probably has some fancy European accent. Every character is in love with him except for 'Me, an Intellectual’ who hates how he so flawlessly gets everyone to love him. Kicks ass while still having perfect hair. He probably sold his soul for the hair to stay so well sculpted in battle. “L'Oréal: Because I’m worth it”.
Iris Amicitia: “Sure, Jan”. She just came here to see her friend 'Septum Piercing’ but 'Me, an Intellectual’ showed up and is complaining about how women are taking over and she just has this fucking face. She has so much restraint but her bullshit limit is almost reached and she’s about ten seconds from punching 'Me, an Intellectual’ in his fedora wearing face. Always a sweetheart but she has her limits.
Cindy Aurum: “Call me whatever you want for having my tits out but you’re the one who was looking”. Self-confidence goddess who inspires everyone around her to love themselves. A literal sunflower. She’s like 79% gay. She might seem a little dim to some people but get her talking about something she cares about and holy hell is she a genius. Let’s people make their own assumptions about her so she knows who her real friends are.
Cid Sophiar: Old Man Jenkins. He acts like a super grouchy old bastard but deep down he cares about his misguided MySpace grandchildren. Probably makes them care packages for the road but says they’re from Lesbian Self Care Goddess. “ TAKE YOUR ATTITUDE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS have fun on your adventures kids be safe call me when you get there AND GET A DAMN HAIRCUT”.
Cor Leonis: A girl broke up with him once ten years ago and he’s been locked away writing sad emo poetry about how nice guys finish last ever since. Watches romance anime exclusively and has a Hatsune Miku body pillow. Probably a Brony tbh. MCR Boy needs help finishing a quest but he won’t stop talking about how he was “so CRUELLY friendzoned and how LIFE IS POINTLESS without the LIGHT OF LOVE I mean I bought her dinner and wasn’t a total ass WHAT MORE DOES SHE WANT”.
Nyx Ulric: Gray haired Draco Malfoy. Rich boy spoiled and groomed to be evil all his life but he’s really just naive. Has no idea what’s going on 99% of the time but he’s just trying his best. Doesn’t really agree with the shady things going on but he’s smart enough not to question Old Man Aesthetic Cape. Eyeliner Villain is probably his dad. Also probably a giant douche canoe but if you call him out on it HIS FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS.
Gentiana: Her dad is also Old Man Cape Aesthetic. She’s trying so hard not to slap the shit out of his overdramatic ass and take over the world herself but she has appearances to keep up. Also probably tried to recruit MCR Boy to the Dark Side with her magic womanly wills but he’s too gay for Hot Topic Lord for that to work. Probably the only one in the entire game with half a brain cell.