i like how he looks physically pained

Novocaine-Chapter 2

Summary: you try your best to explain your past, and have a little run in with a super soldier

Pairings: Dean x Reader, Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 998

“Whose Dean?” Bucky asks gruffly. He hadn’t spoken to you in months, doesn’t look at you, eyes trained firmly on the floor. His muscles are tense, a curious look on his face as he worries at his lower lip.  

Your heart sinks as you realize how badly you had destroyed your friendship, how it could never be the same between the two of you. If only you had kept your mouth shut, but you had taken a chance, the one you had not taken with Dean.

Dean had been too good, too pure for you, just as Bucky was.

You destroyed everything you touched, ruined the beauty in the world. You were nothing, merely a shield to be used by those around you, your mutation affording you near invincibility.

“(Y/N)!” Steve snaps, drawing your attention to him.

Groaning out loud at the look on his face, you know there was no getting out of this one.

He wouldn’t let you get away without an explanation, not this time. “Who was that? And who’s Dean?” he asks, His Captain America persona coming out in full swing.

You sigh heavily, not knowing where to begin or how to explain, end up floundering for a second before settling on the truth. “Cas is an angel. Dean is… was a friend,” you reply, not daring to meet his eyes, knowing he wouldn’t believe the vague explanation.

Steve snorts in disbelief. “You don’t react that way to a friend, Shadow. Tell me the truth,” he demands, Bucky nodding vigorously at his side.

Sam offers you a look of sympathy coated in curiosity. “She said Angel? Ain’t anybody gonna comment on that? No?” he says, trying to divert the attention away from what was obviously a touchy subject.

“We fought Aliens,” Steve deadpans.

“I’m a brainwashed ex-assassin,” Bucky adds.

“(Y/N) absorbs the power of others,” Steve continues.

Sam deflates, shrugging his shoulders in a defeated “I tried” motion.

Clenching your jaw and squeezing your eyes shut, you breathe heavily in through your nose, willing away the memories Cas’s unannounced visit had stirred up, the heavy realization you would have to do better than the bare minimum settling uneasily in your stomach. “Cas is an angel and my friend. We hunted together with two brothers. They were my family,” you answer, keeping your voice neutral, masking the pain the memories have conjured.

“And?” Steve prompts.

Annoyance flares at his persistence. “And nothing, Cap. I don’t see how this is any of your business!” you snap.

His eyes go wide briefly, unaccustomed to being on the receiving end of your ire. It softens his demeanor marginally,  seeing how upset this is making you, but when Steve makes to speak Bucky cuts him off.

“He’s an ex?” he asks bitterly, his eyes finally meeting yours. The blue sucks you in, holding you captive.

The familiar butterflies that stir when he looks at you flap in your stomach. Your hands’ bunch in your hoodie as you break his gaze. Confused and angry you rise from your seat. “Again, I don’t see how this is any of your business, Barnes,” you spit angrily, stomping in the direction of the kitchen with the intention of making yourself a cup of tea and retiring to your bedroom for the evening, ignoring the heavy footfalls of a certain soldier behind you.

“What do you want?” you finally ask, turning to face him, hands on your hips, face set in a deep scowl.

Bucky’s face falls, he shakes his head sadly “What happened to us?” he asks quietly, the heartbreak in his voice so tangible, so heart-wrenching, you have to suppress a whimper. “I’m sorry,” he says as he raises his oceanic blue eyes to meet yours. “I’m sorry I hurt ya.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, revulsion at yourself rising steadily in your throat. “Bucky,” you sigh, taking a step toward him cautiously. Abandoning all caution you rise on your tiptoes and wrap your arms around him. “It’s not your fault. You can’t help how you feel. It’s my fault and mine alone,” you reply earnestly as Bucky clutches you firmly to his chest.

His grip is almost crushing, like letting you go would be physically painful. “Can we go back to what we were? I miss you.” His fingers dig into the flesh of your back with bruising force.

You linger in the embrace, knowing this would be the last time you would hold him this way, the last time he would voluntarily embrace you, or look at you. Choking back the sob threatening to spill out, squeezing him tighter, burying your face in his chest and taking a deep breath the ever present smell of snow fills your nose. Clean and fresh, you savor it, ignoring the wetness of your cheeks. “No,” you say quietly.

Bucky stiffens, a mixture of a whimper and a snort leaving his throat “Why?” he asks emotionlessly.

You step away from him, putting much-needed distance between you. “Because I love you,” you state.

He sucks in a harsh breath, his mouth falling slack at your words. “I… you what?” he asks dumbly.

Shaking your head sadly, you smile tearfully at him. “I love you and will not drag you down with me. I’m no good for you, friend or something more. Stay away from me, Bucky. You deserve better.” Turning away from him, you march toward the gym hoping to find Wanda or Vision, anyone, to spar with to help you forget, to numb you against him, to erase the look on his face from your memory because you knew how much damage you had just caused.

You knew the implications of your words, you knew how badly Bucky would react to you pulling further away from him. At this point, you could only hope Steve would forgive you for doing more damage to his friend. But, better to cut it off now, at the knees, before you broke Bucky permanently.  

Tags: Under the cut (I hope I got everyone if not please send me an ask and ill add you)

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pervy-pansexual  asked:

Do you have any NurseyDex headcannons?

THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY ASK BOX FOR WEEKS BECAUSE I HAD SO MANY HEADCANONS I HAD TO NARROW THEM DOWN LMAO. seriously I have so many but here are a few of my favorites!

· Honestly like… they’re both romantic af. I always see so much “oh Nursey is the romantic and Dex couldn’t care less,” but….

· Dex is the textbook definition of the acts of service love language. He’s also super perceptive, if he’s quiet he’s probably making the active decision to LISTEN to whoever is talking and not just hear what they’re saying. The man would build his partner a front porch as soon as he had the time, energy, and funds because a few months ago they mentioned how nice it would be to sit on the front porch with him with a glass of lemonade on a late spring day (and he does do this for Nursey eventually and also probably builds a reading/writing nook for him when they own a house).

· Nursey has a decent hodgepodge of several love languages, mainly words of affirmation/quality time/occasionally gifts. He’s the type to write down quotes that made him think of his partner and post them around the house, and if he sees something in a store that makes him think of his partner/sees something he knows his partner wants/would like he’ll get it for them. He’s also a big listener, and he likes spending time with the people he loves even if they’re not really doing anything? Just hanging out and doing their own thing in the same room is enough for him a lot of the time

· Both are perceptive and this means that both of them notice typing patterns and how they correlate to the other’s mood. Nursey says “chill!!!!” – a good day. “yo chill” – average day. “Chill.” – pissed the fuck off, maybe crying he’s so angry? Days like this, Dex will go out of his way to Annie’s and get Nursey’s feel-good drink (chai rose latte with soy milk because regular milk makes it too sweet). If Dex ever actually sends ellipses in a message, that means he’s bottling up so much he’ll explode later if he doesn’t convey what he’s feeling properly so Nursey will throw a soft blanket in the dryer so that he’ll have something warm to cuddle into when he gets home, and Dex will lean against Nursey with the blanket on his shoulders until he’s ready to talk.

· They’ll also do that sickeningly sweet thing where in the dead of winter when the other is in the shower they’ll put a towel in the dryer so that it’s warm when they get out.

· CUDDLY DEX!

· The man is a fucking koala.

· Seriously, if he’s sleeping alone he’s got his entire body wrapped around a pillow, even if it’s not person sized. Arms and legs wrapped completely around like it’s a tree trunk. He’s spring loaded and tense even when sleeping so he’s just, wrapped around this pillow like he’ll fall 30 feet if he lets go and the habit continues when he starts sharing a bed with Nursey.

· The first time they shared a bed Nursey woke up with both arms and both legs asleep and completely numb from how tight Dex was holding him and he just didn’t want to wake him up because even though his body is tense his face looks so peaceful? Also like, he can’t feel his limbs so, it’s a bit hard to move.

· It was like ten minutes before he even tried to move, and then he’s still in physical pain because like…. Sleeping limbs, y’all, if you don’t move them for long enough it’s like “I need to go to the ER levels of pain.” You thought Nursey was clumsy? Imagine the man when he cannot physically feel his legs. This was a learning experience for both of them.

· They spend the next few nights figuring out good sleeping positions that don’t cut off air or blood flow.

· The winners: Dex as little spoon, wrapped around a pillow the same way he would be if he was alone but with Nursey in a similar position holding Dex; Nursey flat on his back, Dex on his stomach slightly to the side with one leg thrown over Nursey and his arms kind of circling his head like a halo, head buried into the crook of Nursey’s neck.

· They both have a love of crime shows, especially Law and Order, and ESPECIALLY Special Victims Unit.

· They can only watch it when they’re both in average everyday moods though, because if they’re in super good moods it will bring them down and with bad moods… SVU is not the best Law and Order series for bad mood days (the author speaks from experience). They learn to spot each other’s mannerisms and know when it is Not an SVU Day.

· They can never watch just one episode, it’s a problem. Like one’ll sit down and be like “Hey you wanna watch just like, one episode to wind down?” and the other will agree and then one episode turns into MINIMUM four and they’re both ready to die for Olivia Benson.

· This happens EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And they NEVER learn.

· They’re also the people that quote along with the opening monologue word for word and will do stupid ass dance moves to the theme song. The first time Dex danced to it, Nursey laughed so hard beer came out of his nose.

I love these dorks.

shit I’ve said and that has been said to me through tumblr IM starters.

“arson should not be a source of arousal!!!!”
“everybody wants his booty.”
“i now pronounce you the prettiest booty in the court.”
“buT I’M YOUR QUEEN”
“you can’t fight this face. it’s too pretty.”
“be my pretty boy.”
“you get that booty and you never let it go.”
“so that’s when I figured ‘oh this is my son’s boyfriend’”
“That’s pretty cute not gonna lie.”
“and just it got really gay really fast.”
“a lot of what he said was kinda ominous.”
“we’re just all prepared for anything at this point lma o.”
“literally every scene they had together I was just like ‘GAAAYYY’”
“Y R U THE WAY U R?”
“brother why. why are you licking me”
“FUCKING END ME”
“IM SO WRECKED”
“I’m ten chapters in and I’m 100% trash for him.”
“seriously like just the smallest things that he does make me legit squeal and scream”
“he’s apparently got a thing for dark hairand a royalty kink but we don’t talk about that.”
“okay i’ll make out with you.”
“you’re just like ‘haha what if’ and then it suddenly becomes ‘oh no.’”
“…………..that wasn’t planned.”
“you could knock………..or you could join.”
“follow ur heart.”
“as in the heart in his pants or actual heart”
“I mean the fact that he’s bffs with 2 of the finest booties at court probably doesn’t help.”
“gayer than gay.”
“…are you looking at his butt?”
“STOP TALKING.”
“no way I’m gay … I just … none of these girls interest me.”
“Smooth as gravel, that’s me.”
“I can’t even apologize I have no shame.”
“I DON’T EVEN WATCH THIS FUCKING SHOW.”
“CLOSE UR MOUTH U wHORE DaMN.”
“IM ONLY RUNNING ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP TOO THIS IS NOT WHAT I NEEDED TODAY.”
“give me the angst. give me the regret and the pining and the hurt.”
“PLUS: it was very selfish.”
“I am ready for death.”
“That essay, that I stayed up until 4 am to finish, is due next monday.”
“I have a thing for pretty boys”
“IT PHYSICALLY PAINS ME TO LOOK AT HIM”
“ITS LIKE STARING AT THE SUN”
“good night! good luck getting the booty!”
“YESA THOUSAND TIMES YES.”
“et tu?”
“he needs a little thirst in his life.”
“just embrace your ho life.”
“okay no blame will be placed as long as it is recognized that I am the most good looking.”
“kissing my brother I see how it is. I thought we had something special.”
“wink wonk.”
“e x cus e me ??”
“a blog called horny-sluts0 just started following me.”
“I’m not saying he isn’t kinky, I’m just not saying he has a royalty kink.”
“#dO NOT.”
“DATING ONE PRINCE DO ES  no T MEA N A N Y T H I N G.”
“SCREAM WITH ME”
“what’s the haps my dudes”
“(name) I do not think that 'what’s the haps my dudes’ is a correct way to engage with youths.”
“are you trying to put me in a bad mood because it’s working.”
“THAT IS NOT HoW ADU LTS DEAL wIT H THEI R I SSUES.”
“i shall corrupt this one.” *fixes cleavage*
“bet your pretty ass i am.”
“I’m gonna fucking punch something.”
“i will torture u softly.”
“how is walking in front of someone entirely naked cryptic?”
“she’s my child now don’t upset my child or i will eat u.”
“stop that.”
“Is this what a break up feels like?”
“i’m irresistible it’s my best character flaw.”
“i mean, i am irresistible, we established that.”
“i’d rather stick my hand in a scorpion’s nest if it’s all the same.”
“where are you going to find a scorpions nest in New York?”
“please don’t break into the bug house at the Zoo oh my god.”
“fine then, i’ll feed the ducks ALONE. UNPROTECTED. VULNERABLE. ALL BY MY SELF.”
“is that why I found jello in my shoes???? you’re buying me new boots.”
“little brothers are not secret weapons.”
“this is just making me MORE SAD”
“THIS IS WHY I HAVE TRUST ISSUES”
“I WANTED TO MAKE IT BETTER. I TRIED.”
“YOU MADE IT WORSE.”
“literally 80% of my decisions are made to spite someone.”

anonymous asked:

It must be hard for sangwoo to live with this mask of being nice to everyone and not being himself I congratulate him for enduring that and only showing his true face to bum lmao (that was sarcasm btw)

I agree, but he gets fed up sometimes and acts like a total ass towards other people 

ass..

ass..

Total ass..

assholeness battery successfully recharged, in the mood to bury some corpses, it’s funny how much he looked happy after acting like a dick, it’s like it’s physically painful for him to act nicely even if it’s just a facade, he has to be an ass every once in a while in order to maintain his health

anonymous asked:

How badly was Obi Wan hurt on Geonosis? When Waxer and Boil tear apart the doors, we see him slumped to the side, not even trying to get out. Perhaps he wouldn't try to move had he been the only one alive, but he knew two other clones were alive and I highly doubt Obi Wan wouldn't have tried to at least get them out. So that begs the question: if he was physically incapable to even try, how hurt was he?

It seems that he was injured to the point where standing up was painful. 

You’ll see that when Waxer helps him up, he winces a bit before they get ready to move out into the open.

He also walks with a noticeable limp. The walk itself looks like it is straining him, though you can tell Obi Wan is trying his hardest not to lag and keeps that pace surprisingly well.

You’ll also see that later, when Anakin, Ahsoka and Ki Adi Mundi reunite with Obi Wan for the briefing, Obi Wan remains sitting down, even when everyone else is standing.

hiraeth pt.2

Warning: Spoilers, language. 

Genre: angst + other stuff

pt.1 | pt. 3

A/N: This work is set in a world in which everything at Mint Eye actually happened (V’s dead, Saeran’s back, Saeyoung quit the agency, Rika’s in Alaska). But Seven and MC (reader insert) stayed best friends, they were always friends. This happens a year and a half after the main story.


Jumin’s POV

The following days had been extremely dull. Three days to be precise. This man loved your smile more than anything. It made him feel warm; it gave him a sense of calmness that he couldn’t find elsewhere. And now all he saw was that expressionless face that conveyed not even the slightest tinge of emotion, at least not towards him. The roles had been reversed.

This man’s routine ever since your argument had been waking up and reaching out to the right side of the bed only to find it empty, which instantly filled his entire being with a sense of utter panic until he remembered that you’d made the guest room your temporary quarters. At least that’s what he hoped.

He also noticed that you started waking up before him because by the time he was ready to leave you were no longer in the penthouse. You’d been leaving simple “be back later” sticky notes on the door. Of course, he would’ve been significantly more worried hadn’t Seven called him to tell him that you were staying at his place. He was deeply grateful towards his, he would dare admit, friend for keeping an eye on the person he loved the most in this world. 

And when he finally came home from work you were already locked in your room only coming out to occasionally to grab some snacks before walking back to where you came from. You would be extremely silent, the sound of shuffling things coming from the kitchen being the only indicator that you were out of that cursed room.

In the chat, you would respond to everyone else but him. No one knew about your fight except Seven, who he’d hear you talk to whenever he walked past your room. All the emotion that he couldn’t see (or hear) when he was around would suddenly reappear. This was all thanks to him. He had been quite harsh that night, he had been extremely irrational and he knew it.

Jumin really tried to find a way to apologize with each passing day, but having you stay in the same room as him for more than 10 seconds was proving impossible and that scared him more than anything in the world. What if you couldn’t deal with the pain he’d caused? What if you decided to leave? What if you had enough? The only thought made his chest physically hurt.

He’d tried everything. From bringing you breakfast to bed to buying you ridiculously expensive gifts, the latter being a move of pure desperation. He was aware that buying you costly things would amount to nothing, at least when it came to situation such as this. You’d been kind enough to let him know that things as subjective and sensitive as forgiveness, love, and happiness could never be bought or mended by something as trivial as money.

He missed your touch like crazy; he missed your smile, your bright eyes, and your laughter. He missed you so much it was almost killing him. He could barely concentrate at work, often finding himself looking for the words to fully express his regret.

He’d been horrible to you; he’d seen the hurt in your eyes. For God’s sake, he even made you cry. He couldn’t forgive himself so how could he even expect you to forgive him.

The man felt extremely selfish for wanting your forgiveness, for even daring to feel hurt when you were so cold to him. Maybe it was because you were always nothing but kind and loving towards him.

That night he’d come home relatively early and wasn’t surprised when you weren’t there. He expected as much.

He loosened his tie before carelessly throwing his coat on the couch and making his way into his room. Once he shut the door he let out a loud groan of frustration. Work had been hectic ever since the other company dropped their deal and to top everything, he’d been smart enough to successfully push away his number one source of happiness.

He was currently going over your fight for what seemed the thousandth time that day and it wasn’t until his eyes landed on a certain book that his mind stopped looking for answers.

Oh,’ was the only thing he thought before walking towards his bookshelf and grabbing the book his best friend’s lover, Rika, had given him a long time ago.

It took him a while to process what he’d just discovered in such a sudden way. Jumin Han was good at many things, but expressing and processing his feelings was something he was vastly lacking in.


Your POV

You were finally home from Seven’s place. The both of you had been going over things for the oncoming RFA party. Well, at least you tried. You found yourself being lost in thought more than you cared to admit.

Being so cold towards your fiancé was proving extremely hard for you, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to smile at him. It physically pained you to even look him in the eye. His words had been like poison to you and you just needed as much space as you could get. He’d openly accused you of cheating, he compared you to an animal and the more you thought about it the less you believed he referred to Elizabeth herself.

Indeed, Seven’s words had been bugging you ever since the fight. Of course they had. How could they not?

  “Well, I wasn’t there there but they sent this photo to the messenger. But I know what happened. It was Rika who gave her to him. They were at V’s apartment and he was really happy, even though he kept saying it wasn’t a big deal…”

You closed your eyes as you shut the penthouse door. Walking towards the living room you were surprised to see his expensive coat lying on the couch. He was home early. Letting out a shaky breath you rubbed your now aching temples with your fingertips. You weren’t ready to face Jumin just yet. Thinking of him still made your heart ache.

Still, eventually you would need to face him and neither of you had had a real talk. To be fair, you hadn’t even given him the chance to do so. It was just really hard for you to hear whatever he had to say.

There were only a couple of times that you two “exchanged words”, the first one being when you dropped your fork, startling him. He asked you if you were okay soon afterwards to which you gave him a short hum of affirmation.

You were about to make your way to your room when you remembered that Seven had asked you if he could borrow one of your shirts to which you promptly agreed. So, after three days of refusing to go into your shared bedroom, you quietly turned the knob. To be honest, you assumed he would be in his study working, since that’s what he tended to do for an hour or so whenever he left work early.

So hard working’, you thought, a smile threating to appear on your face, as you stepped into the enormous room.

It was then when you saw him, Jumin Han, sitting on the edge of your bed with a book in his hands.

Your heart stopped. That book.

Of course he’d told you about it when you were moving your belongings into his apartment. You were going through his bookshelf and fate had you choose that book. His reaction was immediate. He was quick to be by your side and carefully take the book from your hands. Jumin then proceeded to explain its meaning, which you decided to respect. Maybe it had the last essence of the old Rika, his, you thought, dear friend.

But now… now you weren’t so sure you could look at it that way anymore.

“I don’t want to finish since it’s the last gift I received from her.”

“Stop trying to act like you know me. You’ve only been here for a year and a half. Elizabeth has been here longer. (…) While you were out and about messing around with Zen I was trying hard to provide for you. And guess who was here for me? Elizabeth the 3rd. (…)”

 “It was Rika who gave her to him!”

It wasn’t that hard to put the pieces together. You felt your body grow numb as you, little by little, started stepping closer to him.  He was so intently focused on his book that he hadn’t even noticed your presence. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you were right behind him. That’s when you saw something that made whatever air was left in your lungs, disappear.  

Tears were slowly running down his beautiful face as the tips of his fingers hovered over the tear stained pages of the old book.

You’d never seen him cry before. Not when he discovered there was a bomb in her apartment, not when poor Saeran was forced to kidnap you, not even before or after V’s funeral. He hadn’t let you see him. You respected his privacy, but this… crying over someone like her. You couldn’t help but feel angry.

It was hard for you to be confrontational, especially towards him. He was so innocent in so many ways and kind and you loved him with everything you had. You tried to keep your emotions in check, trying hard to think of something civilized to say, that is, until he opened his mouth.

Rika…” he whispered, in a voice that conveyed nothing but longing, hurt, and betrayal.

A knot suddenly appeared in your throat, tears quickly accumulating in your eyes, ready to spill and run down your color-drained cheeks.

I see now,” your voice came out as a mere whisper, afraid that if you spoke any louder it would break and reveal just how deeply you’d been hurt.

His back straightened promptly after he heard your voice, book snapping shut. Even the way he wiped his tears was elegant, which made you let out a grim but soft chuckle. Slowly, he stood from his place and turned to face you. He wore the same expressionless mask he used to wear when you two first met, successfully making your chest ache.

(y/n), when did you get here?” he even sounded cool and calm.

Silence followed as the light in your eyes slowly started fading, leaving behind only raw pain. It was as if he hadn’t just said that crazy woman’s name in a way that conveyed more than just friendly feelings.

Give me that book,” you said quietly. You wanted to see if he would be willing to give it to you.

(y/n)…  What you just saw… How much did you―, “ he said, his fingers pressing harder against the book’s cover.

I see,” you repeated yourself, “Mr. Han, I think… I won’t be staying here anymore seeing as you clearly have someone else in your heart. Someone who understands you, who you miss.”

His eyes widened and his face paled in dread the moment your words left your quivering lips.

Before he could speak again, you continued, “It’s okay. If you feel that way towards the woman who killed your best friend, who kidnapped Saeran, drugged him, abused him, separated him from his twin, and committed countless of other sins… Then I won’t get in your way.” 

A quiet and strained sob managed to escape your lips, your hand immediately covering your mouth. You started backing away towards the door slowly, already feeling both dizziness and numbness take over your body.

But… if it’s not too much to ask,” you took a deep breath, trying your best to steady your now nasal voice, “I’m not ready just yet to give you this ring back. Please give me time to―, “ this time it was him who interrupted you by letting the book fall on the floor and in five long strides he was before you, his hands on your shoulders, pressing you flush against his chest.

The first thing you noticed was that he was trembling, the second thing was that, in your efforts to push him away, something wet managed to fall on your cheeks. You looked up only to find fresh tears streaming down his face, accentuating his metallic-looking eyes. His grip on you became stronger, but you didn’t feel threatened. You were reminded of a desperate child clinging to their mother. Someone clinging onto dear life for someone they couldn’t live without. It tugged at your heart and made you feel guilty. Still, you couldn’t… you just couldn’t. You made yet another mediocre attempt to push him away to which he said in a broken voice, “Don’t leave.

It was a plea. Little by little you stopped attempting to break free. You hadn’t given him the chance to explain himself. You hadn’t been fair back then at giving him a chance to talk. This wasn’t you. You weren’t petty like this. No matter how hurt you were. You just couldn’t bear to see someone you hold so dear to you in such state.

Then what, Jumin? What else do you want me to say? I know who gave you that book. I know who gave you Elizabeth, I know now one of the main reasons why you held that cat so close to your heart. Why you didn’t even let me look through that book. The way you said her name for fucks sake! That psychopathic bitch doesn’t deserve any of the sympathy you or Saeyoung are giving her by not telling the others what she did! She’s the one who deserved to die, not V! And yet here you are, crying over someone who took everything from two precious persons,” you took a deep breath before continuing, “I’m not telling you not to feel. I’m not telling you that crying over someone or something’s wrong. Just… why her? Why say her name in such a longing way!? How could you ever feel sympathy and longing towards someone as awful as her? H-How c-could you…” you trailed off, trying your best not to break into a mess.

H-How c-could you… t-tell me th-that someone like her w-was capable of u-understanding you better than I-I e-ever could…? your now wide eyes stared intensely into his own, desperate for an answer.

Answer me this, Han Jumin,” you paused briefly, “did you ever have feelings for Rika?”


Okay, so I’m leaving it here. I’m not sure how many chapters this one will have. I have vague ideas of things I want to do but like… idk. Let’s see how everything turns out. Btw, if this has any mistakes then sorry. I’m very very tired.

I’m sure this was complete shit. I’m sorry T^T

Cherry Blossoms [IV] - a chanyeol story

Originally posted by dazzlingkai


I start school in a little over a week and I haven’t been working so much, so it’s looking like I’ll have this series done in a week or two 😅  Hope you all enjoy! -S 🌸

Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Plot: You finally admit to yourself that maybe, just maybe, you aren’t over Chanyeol yet.

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader


Time stopped as I stood firmly in place, attempting to do anything but look at the man standing directly in front of me. He was close enough for me to touch him, and oh, how I ached to do so. I had just dreamt of this face, and yet the face in front of me wasn’t the face I had seen in my dreams. His skin looked worn, his hair was shorter and darker than I remembered, and he looked far too thin for his lengthy frame. Before I could stop myself, I slowly reached my arm out to bridge the gap between us. His face looked uncertain, and I saw how his gaze never left the ring on my finger. I took one step, then another, until I was close enough to wrap my arms around him.

I immediately felt home

Home was Chanyeol, his warm arms and raucous laughter, his velvety voice singing me to sleep. I had missed this feeling more than I remembered. How had I let so much time pass without feeling his arms around me? His worn fingers gently cupped my jawline, and I flinched, but then melted into his rough hands. I closed my eyes and basked in the feeling of his hand on my cheek, his fingers tracing gentle shapes on my skin. I listened to the sound of the waves breaking, the seagulls calling, children laughing over tall ice cream cones. 

Chanyeol looked at me as if I were going to disappear out of thin air, and a creeping thought in the back of my mind told me that disappearing would be an excellent idea. I hesitantly pulled away from his caress, and as I did, I felt whatever spell we were under break.

I am engaged. I am going to marry another man. I care about him, I trust him, and I know that my life will be simple and stable with him. I am not in love with Park Chanyeol, not anymore. I was once, and it was the best, worst, most heartbreaking ten years of my life. Those days are long gone. Just standing here in front of him was enough to bring back memories of waiting for someone who wasn’t going to call, who didn’t care enough to be here for the big stuff. I looked at him with unintended spite and finally opened my mouth to speak.

“Chanyeol, what are you doing here? What are we doing here?” His eyes opened wide at the cutting tone of my voice, and he began talking quickly, too quickly. “I have been looking for you for years, and I had just given up, but then I had a dream about you. And I knew I would find you soon, and now here you are, in front of me! God, you have no idea how much I missed-“
I scoffed at these words, interrupting his nervous chatter. “Chanyeol, I do know how much you missed me. I missed you just as much every time you left, every time you hung up the phone, every time I waited for you and you never showed. I stayed up for three extra hours that last night. I made the popcorn, I set up Netflix, I lit candles. I ate every single piece of popcorn myself and watched the candles burn until the wax dripped to the floor. I know what missing someone feels like. And you are the one who caused me that pain.”

He stepped back, shocked, as if my words caused him physical torment. He cast his gaze down, unable to look at me. I had never seen him like this. Perennially happy Chanyeol couldn’t even paste a smile on his face, and I was surprised by how uneasy that made me. I sighed and swallowed, beginning to feel the dark haze slink back over me once again. I spent so many months missing him so much that I could hardly breathe, physically feeling his loss in more ways than I cared to remember. But now, I am okay. I’ve been okay for a long time, and here he comes, with the absolute nerve to interrupt me when I am trying to have a perfectly peaceful day at the beach to myself. No, he was not going to have me back that easy; not that he could have me back, anyway. I couldn’t let this happen.

“Chanyeol, I can’t do this. I’m engaged, I’m getting married early next year. You shouldn’t have come up to me, and I shouldn’t have spoken to you. I really hope you’re doing well.” I felt his hand gently clasp around my wrist, and from behind him I saw his friend Minseok running towards him, shouting his name as he wiped away sweat. 

“Listen, (Y/N). I completely understand why you feel the way you do, and I know that I do not deserve a minute of your attention. Minseok and I are staying the night in town, and if you want a drink, or you want to talk, I’ll give you the address to my hotel.” I frowned as he pulled a business card out of his front jacket pocket, and shook my head as I snatched the card from his hand. I walked backwards, not ready to break our eye contact, feeling tears well up in my eyes. 

“Goodbye, Chanyeol.”

I turned around and started running as fast as I could.


I quickly fished in my beach bag for my keys with one hand while I wiped the tears from my face with the other. God, I really fucking wish I hadn’t seen Chanyeol today. I wish I hadn’t dreamt about him and I sure as hell wish I hadn’t heard his damn voice when I was trying to shower. I was furious; angry that the person I had been running away from came waltzing back into my life as if he had never left. As if I had never made him leave.

I collapsed into my armchair, extremities shaking from the effort I exerted. I should have yelled at him, I should have told him how I suffered without him when he was supposed to be by my side. I needed a dose of reality. I pulled out my phone and dialed Jin Woo. I knew a phone call with my fiancé would bring me back to the way life was supposed to be.

For the first time in our relationship, he did not answer the phone.

I cursed as I threw my phone on my couch in indignation. He was supposed to be the reliable one. He knew what I had been through; at least, the fact that my ex boyfriend broke my heart. I needed consistency. He knew how important it was to me that he answers his phone, and he had done it every single time… until now. ‘I guess even perfect people aren’t perfect, huh?’ I spoke aloud even though I was home alone, with only my cat to listen to me.

I picked up Snowball and began combing her long fur with my fingers. I couldn’t get Chanyeol out of my mind. He was still in my head, still in my skin, and still in my entire being. Distance couldn’t keep him from being the best part of me, the part of me I had been missing since the day I told him to leave. I had only been in his presence for five minutes, and already I was once again consumed with everything about him.

I forced thoughts of my former love out of my life, and thought about Jin Woo. He brought me flowers to our first date, picked me up precisely on time, and dropped me off before eleven PM. In our first spring of dating, he didn’t want to walk through the park after dinner. He said the cherry blossoms had a sickly smell, almost like cough syrup. Where Chanyeol was daring, he was tentative. His life wasn’t consumed by art, or music, or new horizons. Our life was simple, black and white. There was nothing questionable about it.

But there was no excitement, either. If life with Jin Woo was monotone, cocktail parties and volunteer work, life with Chanyeol was in brilliant technicolor. It was a constant adventure, filled with spontaneity. Sure, he wasn’t reliable, and that damn boy couldn’t be on time if his life depended on it. But he was color, and I was greyscale, longing for even a hint of bright blue.

I couldn’t live the rest of my life with this doubt. I put down my cat and walked deliberately to my jewelry box. I carefully slipped the diamond ring off my finger, feeling a twinge of guilt as I shut the box closed.


I stood in front of a dark brown door, palms shaking, asking myself over and over if I were making the right choice. Catching up couldn’t hurt, right? But I needed to be sure. I needed one more sign.

I heard a song emitting from behind the door; a sorrowful song that I knew, somehow, was intended for me. I listened to it and heard the agony behind every note. It sounded like an wish, it sounded like it was begging for someone to hear it. I closed my eyes. I knew without question what I needed to do next. I needed closure, I needed to know why I couldn’t shake this man from my mind. Why I still, after all of the years, felt him so deeply that I ached in every single piece of me.

I timidly reached out a hand and knocked on the hotel room door.

anonymous asked:

Hi! I really love your blog! If it isn't too much toruble could you maybe do RFA+V & Saeran reacts to a very needy MC, where basically they get lonely fairly easy, needs constant affection, and needs lots of attention but only acts that way towards/around their s/o. Tysm!

{Omg omg omg my first request!!

 (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ Calm down Ciela, get it together…}

Hi love, thank you so much for saying that it means so much to me!! And also thank you for requesting something 😊💜 I hope I’ll meet, and perhaps go above your expectations, I just really hope you like it! 💕

I personally don’t think any of them would hate it, but then again, this is coming from someone who is secretly clingy and needy too 😂 but enjoy!!


RFA+ Reacting to a Clingy/Needy MC


Saeyoung

  • He’d love the extra attention he got from you because of your clinginess
  • Have you seen what he does to Elizabeth the third??
  • Well he’d treat you the same way but like x3
  • So be careful telling him you would like more affection;;
  • It’d be what he does to Elly X10
  • He would be gentle though
  • Very cuddly
  • Anytime you felt lonely, he’d remind you how much he loves you
  • Cause he feels like that too sometimes
  • However
  • I see Saeyoung as a bit of an introvert
  • So sometimes he would need his space
  • Hopefully you’ll understand that
  • But he’ll always try to put your happiness first
  • Even if he has to work a whole bunch,
  • “Come sit in my lap MC!”
  • “Hey hey MC, let’s cuddle, I wanna cuddle with you~”
  • “Give me some kiss?”
  • Sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s more needy


Saeran 💾

  • “Ughh, get off MC!”
  • “Fuck off I need space!!”
  • “So what if you’re lonely!?!”
  • Don’t believe this tsundere’s lies
  • He LOVES it
  • He NEEDS it
  • He BREATHS it
  • He’ll be a lot like that at first, though
  • Pushing you away
  • But when he realizes how much it hurts you he’ll do the better thing for you both and accept it
  • Because he pushed you away so much at the start though, he’ll have to put himself out there to get you to be yourself again
  • “M-MC…? I want you to hold my h-hand!“
  • To which you’ll giddily agree to
  • He’ll eventually let you do whatever
  • You’ll start to notice that he is exactly the same way
  • Goodness these Choi twins
  • He’s honestly more clingy then you
  • “Y-You’re all I have MC you’re not allowed to leave me!!!”
  • Wants to go everywhere with you
  • Holds onto you at all times somehow
  • Very Possesive
  • Glares at people in public when you get stared at for clinging onto each other like koalas
  • But you both are happiest that way


Yoosung 🎮

  • He’d be a flustered little guy
  • Tons of blushing
  • He’d be so rigid though the first couple times you act this way
  • You would start thinking it made him uncomfortable, so would stop and apologize
  • “N-No I like it MC!”
  • You’d laugh and continue the behaviour
  • He’d call you every night to sweetly tell you how much he loves you, and make sure you’re not lonely
  • He’d sometimes do this instead of playing LOLOL, lucky you
  • He’d try to reciprocate the same clinginess to you but he can’t beat you at your own game
  • Tried to once
  • “Uh Yoosung why did you buy handcuffs?”
  • “It was an idea from the president of the Men of Monogamy club!”
  • He especially gets flustered in public, but he just let’s you cling to him
  • Because he loves you
  • And you love him
  • And this is just how you showed it
  • Honestly makes him feel more masculine
  • Don’t be surprised if he puffs out his chest a bit
  • However he would find it kinda cute that you only acted that way with him
  • He was special


Jaehee

  • Very embarrassed Jaebae
  • She likes it though don’t worry
  • 24/7 hand holding with the little thumb rub thing
  • Little guardian angel forehead kinda kisses
  • She’d get distracted very often at work thinking about it
  • You guys become sort of dependent on the high you get from clinging to each other
  • The kind of hugs where when you see each other after a long day
  • You crash and spin ❣
  • People “aww” when you guys are in public
  • Lots of shy little pda
  • You can’t fall asleep without her
  • You guys live to cuddle each other
  • Honestly your daily life is now a fluff fest
  • Makes time to coddle you
  • I wouldn’t be surprised to find “Cuddling MC” on her daily agenda
  • Lots of compliments to remind you she’s in love with you
  • “Your hair looks extra pretty today MC”
  • “Your hugs make me feel so safe”
  • “I don’t think I’ll ever get over that smile of yours MC”


Zen 💎

  • You want to hold his hand?
  • “Why of course jagiya~”
  • You want him to hold you close?
  • “No need to ask~”
  • You want a kiss?
  • “Jagi you read my mind~”
  • It’s so cute between the two of you
  • His cuddly little lamb
  • He will protect you and make you feel loved above everything else
  • When you’re around his fans and can’t help but feel jealous and neglected,
  • He’ll do something like give you a piggy back ride
  • Pick you up bridal style
  • Or kiss you right on the lips
  • Petnames galore
  • I mean what to say
  • It’s ZEN
  • How can you not feel loved around him
  • Even when you’re not on his route he calls you jagiya~, princess, his little lamb
  • But he will do whatever now you need to feel wanted and loved
  • “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but”
  • “What is it Zen?”
  • “I think I finally realize there’s one person who exceeds my beauty” *wink*
  • That’s a major compliment fyi


Jumin👑

  • Drinks
  • It
  • Up
  • Oh yes
  • You only act this way around him
  • And him only
  • That’s an order princess
  • Lolol
  • He only looks at you and Elizabeth
  • You are all he sees
  • It won’t bother him if you’re clingy and only around him
  • Just makes him feel like you only have eyes for him too
  • However he secretly wouldn’t want you to stop if you got in front of his coworkers
  • He liked to show everyone that you were each other’s
  • It pains him physically not to be around you so he leaves work as early as he can
  • For his health
  • Jaehee is callin BS
  • Would take you with him everywhere if he could
  • “Kitten I miss your touch”
  • “I’ll be home right away”
  • “Wait for me”
  • Why is this lowkey turning nsfw look at what you do to me Jumin Han
  • But lots of nuzzling into each other’s necks
  • Little tickle fights omg
  • He just can’t keep his hands to himself he loves how needy you are


V ☀

  • Finds it irresistible
  • Sometimes might want his space but will forgo his space if need be
  • Lots of surprise back hugs
  • Just makes you feel so loved
  • So many intimate moments
  • Face caressing
  • Long eye contact
  • Skin tracing
  • He’s so romantic kill me now
  • Just wants you to be happy
  • sobs
  • He’ll take so many aesthetic pictures of you
  • Sometimes without you even knowing
  • When he shows them to you your heart leaps
  • He was thinking of you then
  • And then
  • And in that moment too
  • You are his muse
  • It makes you feel so important
  • So wanted
  • He holds you longer than you expect sometimes in a hug
  • Sometimes he just loves surprising you with kisses here and there
  • Oh its so sweet
  • Send help

a little something based on this: you know what i think about a lot? how angsty and brilliant it would have been if we actually saw aaron confronting robert with that crane bar or whatever it was he got from the garage before ross stepped in and shot robert. like can you imagine how highly charged that would have been to see aaron crying his heart out and telling robert how much he’s hurt him and how much he wants him to suffer for it and robert being petrified and flawed and sorry about everything. yikes.



‘What does that make me? Someone who can’t stop loving someone like that?’


Aaron’s got his hands on the weapon, he used to use it to twist tyres off but now, now it’s not for that. It’s cold to touch, makes Aaron’s heart tighten as he runs his eyes over its red colour and feels himself become almost numb.


He’s drawing into himself, feels like there’s no way out from how he feels. It’s the only way to make it stop, to make the tears stop falling and his heart stop feeling like it’s about to burst whenever he walks into the room.


He’s a monster, Aaron knows that, he relishes in the fact that he finally knows that.


But he’s a monster who he loves isn’t he? There’s no denying that.


Maybe this will shut him up, maybe this will drill home the message that he won’t be messed with anymore, maybe he’ll finally understand how it feels.


Aaron brushes back his tears and blows out a shallow breath, needs to clear his throat and then steps back from the garage, still holding the crow bar tightly.


He’s convinced himself he’s doing the right thing, the greatest good for the greatest number apparently, that’s what this is. It’s not about further punishing himself, it’s not about wanting to hurt and mourn Robert because at least then he’d feel something other than this black misery. It’s not some sort of self harming, no, it’s a coping mechanism.


Aaron looks up at the sky, a black blanket is pulled across it and he’s staring at the moon up there. It settles him for just a second and then he’s feeling a breeze pick up, almost pushing him towards Victoria’s cottage where Robert will probably be nursing his ego and his bruised face.


It makes Aaron almost want to smirk, almost want to add to the collection on Robert’s smug smarmy face. It’s what he’s thinking as he keeps walking and then suddenly he’s stopping. He’s stopping dead because Robert’s just standing there, he’s looking right at the pub, right up towards Aaron’s window and the younger man has to catch his breathe.


Robert’s looking ahead, has his back towards Aaron. It’s easy, it would be so easy to just do it, just swing and hit and watch him crumble towards the ground.


That’s how Aaron’s thinking when he shakily pulls the crow bar out from his hoodie, there’s tears in his eyes, fat ugly tears and he doesn’t want them there because this shouldn’t hurt. He’s doing himself a favour, he’s being selfish for once in his fucking life and he is going to do right by his mum, by Andy, by Katie.


He doesn’t think Robert’s going to turn around, he isn’t prepared for that, but then he’s seeing green eyes hit him hard and he turns to absolute jelly on the spot because - this is Robert.

Keep reading

Clingy - Part 3 (Edmund x Reader)

Part 1 / Part 2

Word Count: 2000 approx.

Warning: Jealousy, angst and fluff.

Request: Yes.

Summary: She goes on a ride with Dean. Edmund keeps a distance from her but his eyes were burning with fire. Jealousy takes over him leading to a fight between them.

The Story:

It would be a lie to say that Y/n didn’t enjoy the ride. It was peaceful and Dean didn’t miss a chance to make her laugh. Well ofcourse she almost fell two darn times for speeding up her cycle, trying to beat Dean. But, overall she seemed happy and the nature did keep her happy.

It reminded her of Narnia…all the animals and the breeze and..Edmund. Well.um..she didn’t quite forget about him. At the back of her mind, it continued to pinch her. But she decided to concentrate on her surroundings rather than someone who didn’t appreciate her company. There were trees around, breeze making her hair flow back, the birds chirping around, a shiny golden quiet afternoon and a laughing crazy Dean. (A/N - I can’t quite explain but I hope you get the idea, lol sorry, but I meeeean, things like these are bound to make you happy right? Or I think I’m a Hufflepuff so…)

Things were going nice. She felt happy.

“Woooohoooooooo!!” She yelled.

Try and beat me Y/n!!!“ Dean shouted.

“IS that a challenge?!!” She shouted from the back.

“YES!!!” He said speeding up his cycle.

Dean sped up and was before her, and they heard a honk from the behind. She looked behind and saw a car..the Pevensie’s car. She moved aside as her thoughts began to move all over the place, and that’s when she realized. Dean decided to come cycling this way and this is where the Pevensie’s are gonna have their picnic. She quickly tried to hide her face when she heard a yell.

“Y/N!!”

Ofcourse. I AM LATE AS ALWAYS GODDAMMIT. She looked beside her, trying hard to smile but ending up with a weird face.

“H-Hey Lucy!” She said.

“Are you going this way?!” Lucy yelled.

Y/n stuttered but was interrupted when Dean yelled, “You are losing Y/n! If I win I want a kiss!!!”

She felt the color of her cheeks rising when she realized that not only Lucy and her siblings heard that BUT THEIR MOTHER HEARD IT TOO. Ugh Dean can be reaallly annoying at times.

“Oh.” Lucy giggled “It will be nice if you lose this race.”

Y/n smiled and took a peek inside, hoping to see Edmund, but he was turned around towards the right side of the window.

Wow, he didn’t even look at me. I mean atleast a hi would have been nice after his conversation with them. Sigh, looks like he is right. I am the one who is missing him. “Well um, you guys need to speed up. Hey Dean!! Move aside!!”

“Enjoy Y/n!” Susan shouted before they sped their car and were almost out of sight.

She stopped when Dean smirked and came beside her.

“Tell me this wasn’t the reason you planned the cycling for.”

“Not at all. If you remember then I asked you about the cycling before all those things happened.” He laughed when you glared at him “Okay, maybe the destination changed.”

“And?”

“And the competition…so that we can reach there faster.” Y/n gave him the cold look.

“Ugh, I am not going there.” Y/n said turning her bicycle around. Dean held her hand and said, “YOU said you are up for a challenge, so I just leveled it up darling.”

“Leveled it up?! I didn’t even pass the beginner’s level and you decided to surprise me with the EXPERT LEVEL!! Dean what is wrong with you?! You are supposed to help me!”

“Oh I freaking am. See, the more you are around him, the more you will get used to him and then eventually all the hard feelings will be vanished just like ‘poof!’” He said.

She sighed, “It’s too much for the first day. You don’t understand how I feel.”

“I do. You…you are the one who supported me when she left me. Turned me into a douche.”

Y/n smiled and said, “Yeah, I suppose. But wait, are you trying to turn me like a slut?”

“You? A slut? Oh trust me, you can’t do that even if I tried.” He laughed.

There was a moment of silence. “So..you feel good enough to turn around and continue cycling?” She just nodded her head.

“But please tell me we will be out of their sight.” Y/n said starting to cycle back to the park.

“Whatever is comfortable for you darling.” Dean said.

*Time Skip*

The Pevensie sisters were all a giggling mess. They were whispering and occasionally looking at Edmund.

“Will you guys stop that?” Edmund snapped, irritated of everything.

“Will YOU stop that? What is that behavior? We are going for a picnic Edmund, we are supposed to be like this. Laughing and happy and not grumpy like you.” Susan said.

“Enough kids. No fighting. We are here.” She parked the car nearby while the others took out the food and mats.

Edmund wasn’t sure why was he upset. He was confused. Yes, he kind of expected Y/n to arrive and be with them in this picnic. Maybe he is upset because of this. She could be arriving here in this spot with that nosy Dean, then that would mean they will be together in the picnic right? Then why wasn’t he okay by now? I mean everyone will be there along with Y/n…and why was he upset with all the giggling and how Dean shouted about the kiss?

“Hey.” Lucy nudged him.

“Oh. What were you saying?”

She laughed and said, “I didn’t say anything!”

“Oh..I was just..”

“Thinking about Y/n?”

“Ye–uh no no.”

“Come on Edmund you know you can tell me.”

“I don’t know..It’s just that..I don’t know why I am feeling angry. I mean, Y/n is gonna be here I guess and then I can apologise for everything but still something feels wrong.”

“Oh..don’t worry, you’ll figure it out. But if you ask me, then I will say you are just jealous to see them together.” She mischievously smiled and said.

“What?” Edmund looked at her.

“Coming!!!” And ran away to Susan who was standing with a ball, preparing herself to play Cricket.

Edmund sighed and ran towards them, hoping his mood will be fine at the end of the day.

*Time Skip*

*Tring Tring*

Edmund looked back. And there she was. Smiling and laughing. And her hair perfectly flo– His thoughts got interrupted.

“HEY LOOK OUT!! There’s a bird pooping above you!” Y/n looked up and Dean took the opportunity to overtake her and he turned back.
“I win.”

“HEY! That’s cheating!” She laughed.

Oh she definitely wanted this. Ofcourse she wants to kiss him. She is not even looking at me! We are clearly loud enough for her to hear! Edmund looked at how they both perfectly parked their bicycles next to each other like..like darn couples.

And he suddenly felt a sharp pain on his shoulder. “Ow!!” He yelled.

“You need to be present in the game physically AND mentally Edmund!” Peter smirked.

“I-I am!!” He blushed. Y/n now looked at him. His face was red.

She walked over the green soft grass and finally settled down under a tree, a little away from them. She looked at Mrs. Pevensie, who was present there and reading a book peacefully, pouring some tea and drinking it.

“Watching your mother-in-law?” Dean laughed sitting beside her, their shoulders touching.

She kicked his legs lightly and smiled “It’s not funny.”

“It made you laugh. Kinda is then.”

“Make Edmund laugh and I’ll agree with you.”

“Naaaah. Atleast I can peacefully flirt with you now. Although he is literally trying to burn me to ashes right now.”
He chuckled.

Yes, Edmund was playing, but his complete attention was towards Y/n. His jaw locked, eyes frequently moving back and forth from her to Dean, how dangerously close those two were sitting.

“What? Really?” She said turning her head to look at him but then Dean cupped his hands on her face trying to block her view. “Wha–”

“Don’t look. The method is working.”

“What??”

“WHy can’t you just shut up for a second?”

“WHy can’t you just answer my questions?”

“This is the time. Kiss me.”

“Wait what? Woah Dea–” As she went on to remove his hands, the ball came rolling near Dean’s feet.

“Don’t wanna interrupt you two but can you pass the ball?” Susan giggled.

“Hey Y/n!! Join us!” Lucy yelled.

“Uh..s-sure! Sometime later! I promise! I have a company you see!” She said pointing at Dean.

Edmund’s chest tightened and he huffed, “Yeah!! You can enjoy with him!” He furiously walked to them, picked up the ball and said, “We are absolutely happy over here! Please don’t ruin our mood!”

Y/n now snapped. Enough is enough. She stood up while Dean quietly sat and watched the drama, a grin on his lips. “What is wrong with you! Why are you acting like this?! Have I done something now to irritate you? No right? Then why don’t you go back to your business!”

Susan, Peter and Lucy went to sit with their mother, giving a little privacy to the both.

“What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you! All these days you are with me and-and spend your time with me and suddenly today you show up with some damn neighbour!”

“Well Edmund the world doesn’t revolve around you! I prefer spending my time with people who actually loves my clinginess and not lie about how they are enjoying with me, when they are actually not!”

Edmund went quiet for a while. “But I thought you only did this with me.”

“What?”

“I am really sorry. I didn’t mean those at all. I said those to make Peter and Lucy shut up. Those just came out of anger. I missed you. I thought you sat like that only with me. I thought you laughed like that only with me. I thought you hugged like that…only with me. I never thought that..that you will…I always thought those moments belonged to me.” He said eyes locked with hers.

“But Ed you said you didn’t like that.” Her voice softened.

“I do, your every little gesture makes me happy. I love spending time with you. You are the only one who can make me smile and who truly understand me when..my family fails to do that.”

Y/n smiled and blushed. “I love you Ed. I did for a long time. You never..never really made any move to make me understand anything. I know that you may not love me like the way I do but…I need to let these out. I can still be your friend but, there will be changes in our friendship then.”

Edmund was quiet for her sudden confession. “I understand.” She smiled. Fighting back the tears, she turned around. Why did I do that?!

She suddenly felt a strong pull and they were kissing. It took a moment for her to realize what just happened. She smiled and kissed him back immediately, her hands going on the back of his neck, tugging his brown hair lightly, finally letting out the tears forming on her eyes. His hands went down to her waist. The kiss was full of love and force–needy, strong and passionate. All the emotions suppressed between them starting pouring out.

“Uhh…I appreciate your lovely moment of sucking each others faces but being her best friend, it really looks gross.” Dean interrupted.

They pulled from each other with a red face and smile on their lips. They looked back and saw Susan and Lucy laughing while Peter gestured them a thumbs up. On his side, their mother smiled and read her book, pretending she had no idea.

“Oh no.” She blushed and hid her face on his chest, while he hugged her, “I really am clingy.”

A/N - Well lovelies!! There you go! The last chapter! Send me requests :)

MASTERLIST

Black [M]

A/N: OK BITCHES FUCKING FINALLY AM I RIGHT. IT’S BEEN TWO FUCKING MONTHS BUT CH 6 IS FINALLY HERE. a couple of things tho

a. MILLIC’S ALBUM IS FUCKING OUT YALL!! GO LISTEN TO IT. IT’S CALLED VIDA AND FANXYCHILD IS IN IT!

b. i have beef w this ch. i had it finished long ago but i didn’t like it so i never posted it. after reading the whole fic again i thought it went alright with it so i kept it and touched up a couple things. 

c. I HAVE A SEPERATE ONE SHOT COMING UP ABOUT CRUSH AND HIS NEW….FRIEND OK. 

d. thank you so much for waiting so long. and thanks to all the ppl who kept sending messages, i hope i didn’t let you down :( enjoy my lovelies!

( also, i think i’m gonna take the M rating off lmao )

characters: dean x oc, zico x oc, crush, rome x oc

genre: angst(ish?), university au

rated: m, violence, (mentions of) abuse (physical and physiological), sexual content (not in this ch)

ch1 ch2 ch3 ch4 ch5

chapter 6: 

the automatic doors didn’t open fast enough. I felt like my only enemy right now was time. zico drove over the speed limit, luckily with no ticket, but it still felt like I spent hours in the car. everyone was a uneasy and the minute we got there, I bolted out of the car and sprinted to emergencies.

“I got a call,” I heaved. the woman behind the desk read my expression in a heartbeat and sorrow crossed her face.

“what’s your name sweetie?” she asked.

“park chaeyeon” I panted, desperation running through my veins. I needed to see it with my own eyes. I knew there was nothing I could do but I needed to see him. I needed to know that there was no bringing him back.

she began typing into the computer and I felt a hand on my shoulder. zico wrapped me in his arms but I didn’t look away from the woman before me.

“the morgue is downstairs. he was just taken down. would you like to see him before the autopsy is performed?” I stood still and I felt a wave of heat come over me. I couldn’t speak, if I tried, I knew it would turn into sobs and I didn’t want that.

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Loose Ends- A Lightning/Sally Oneshot

He woke slowly, not rushed to consciousness by any sense of emergency. The quiet hum of hospital equipment welcomed him back to the waking world. He heard the muffled sound of a one-sided conversation- a familiar voice, one that sounded vaguely like home. He pinched his eyes closed, and the world was a little less blurry when he opened them. The Porsche was on the opposite side of the room, with her back to him.

           “We’re not entirely sure yet, definitely two axles and a lot of body work. It’s all still pretty unclear at this point.” She paused. “Yeah, yeah… you know I can’t help but wish Doc were still-“

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anonymous asked:

13 jimon

#13 - “how can anyone not be afraid of love?”
///
Simon doesn’t understand it.

When he was younger, he and Clary would play with these little magnetic toys. They were plastic beams that you could stick together to build things, though Clary and Simon could never manage to build anything more impressive than a cube. Simon, a young child who did not fully comprehend science, would often try to force two opposing magnetic poles together despite the force that would keep them apart.

Simon and Jace are like that. They get closer, little by little, millimeter by millimeter, but then a force pushes them away before anything can come of it. And it’s just as frustrating to adult Simon as it was to little Simon. The idea that no matter how close he gets, something will stop him.

“It’s infuriating,” Simon yells at Jace, the words scraping his throat because of the volume he’s using, “the way we just go in circles is infuriating, Jace, and I don’t know what to do anymore!”

“You don’t need to yell.” Jace snaps, which is so fucking ridiculous because it’s usually Jace doing the yelling. And of course the one time Simon decides to raise his voice (not even decides because really it feels like the anger is just bubbling out of him, pouring over his edges like boiling water) he’s the one being dramatic.

“If you don’t like me,” Simon answers with restrained anger, “then stop pretending. Stop taking me on dates, stop texting me, and stop leading me on.”

“Stop texting you?” Jace scoffs, his face incredulous. “So if I don’t want to kiss you, I just shouldn’t bother ever communicating with you? Is that it?”

“You know that’s not what I meant, Jace, G–” Simon sighs in frustration. “Don’t make it seem like you want to be with me if you don’t. It’s that simple.”

“I want to be with you.” Jace finally declares. His voice is so soft and tired that it sounds like a confession, like a reluctant thing that he doesn’t really want to be saying. So it doesn’t really make Simon feel that warm inside.

“Then why’d you turn away?” Simon demands. It’s not the first time that Jace has done it. Twice before he’d taken Simon out on a nice date, flirted and held hands with him, until the end of the night. Simon had tried to kiss him twice, and twice Jace had turned his head to the side and made some sudden change of topic. It had stung both times, but Simon had always convinced himself that Jace just needed time.

And maybe he still needs time. But Simon can’t wait anymore.

“Is it that important?” Jace asks sharply, voice raising.

“Yes!” Simon shouts back, throwing a hand in the air. “I don’t know if you just don’t want to be with me for more than a few hours, if you’re ashamed to be dating a vampire–”

“God, Simon.” Jace spits. “Yeah, that’s it. It’s because you’re a vampire. Everything’s going well until you want to kiss me, then I’m too scared of the fangs–”

“I’m glad this is a joke to you.”

“It’s just insane to me that you’d accuse me of not wanting to kiss you over something like that!”

“Then why?”

“Because I’m afraid!” Jace yells, and that’s when Simon stops. He stops pushing the magnets together and lets go. He steps back a bit, trying to give Jace space to breathe while simultaneously trying to get a full view of him.

His chest is heaving and his face is pale. It’s like the statement had been physically painful to push past his lips, and maybe it was.

“I mean,” Jace quietly tries to piece together his thoughts, and he takes a seat on the curb, “how could anyone not be afraid of love?”

“You know what?” Simon softly asks, moving to crouch in front of him. Jace refuses to look up at him, from either residual anger or embarrassment. Simon doesn’t force him to look up, just continues to speak quietly. “I’m scared of all sorts of things. Snakes, heights, being buried alive, oddly enough. Alec.”

That gets a tiny huff of laughter from Jace, who finally looks up.

“But I’m not scared of you, Jace.” Simon picks up his hand and presses a kiss into his palm. “I’m not scared of us. Because I know we can do this. And even if you don’t want to kiss me, that’s okay. I shouldn’t have–”

Jace kisses him before he can finish, and Simon loses his balance in the crouch and ends up sprawled slightly on the street. Jace only moves with him, his palms pressing into the pavement and his body blocking the harsh light of the streetlight overhead.

He breaks away after a few more moments, and he leans his forehead into Simon’s.

“I’ll work on it.”

anonymous asked:

Can you do an imagine for Shiro('cause I'm trash for him and your writing) where he almost attacks s/o when he's having a nightmare and he freaks out when he sees that he's hurt them in his half asleep state?

A/N: We are all trash for Shiro.


“No! Stop!” You woke up by the sound of Shiro’s voice. It sounded like he was in… pain? “Please! No!” 

Since your bedroom is the closest, you jump out of bed and run towards his room. You kick open his door and barge in. “Shiro!” You shouted. You ran over to the Black Paladin. “Shiro, wake up!” You shake him, trying to wake him up from his nightmare. “Please, wake up!” 

Instead of waking up, Shiro’s metal arm grabbed your wrist. You winced at the pain. The arm flung you to the other side of the room, it made you landed on your left elbow. “GAH!” The pain was getting there, soon it was hurts. Like a flame, burning away. 

Shiro immediately woke up. He heard the distress sound of your voice. It did wake him up from his nightmare. He got out off from his bed and saw you, cradling your injured elbow. Fear struck him. “Oh no… I-I’m sorry.” 

He kneeled in front of you. “I-I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” He repeated the word all over. He didn’t know that this could happen to you. Of all the people he loved, you were the one he fear the most. Hurting you was like tearing a paper apart. 

“Its… fine, Shiro.” You try to reassure him. “I’ve seen worse. Trust me.” 

“No, its not fine. How can it be fine?” Shiro shot back. “How can you trust me when I have nightmares? How can I hug you? Or, or cuddle you? Is there a way to-” 

Something hit his cheek. It was stinging pain. Shiro check his cheek, it was a familair pain. Small and powerful. He looked at you, head down. 

“You… you idiot! I love you just the way are! I don’t care about your arm! I care about you, Shiro. Both physically and mentally. So, please…” You raised your head, few tears dropping by. “How can you trust yourself, where you cannot trust me?!” You try to punch him but Shiro block it with his human hand. 

He could see the glistening tears, falling from your face. He had hurt your feelings. He sighed before pulling you close. “Forgive me, (Name).” He whispered. “Please, don’t cry.” 

“Idiot…” Shiro gently pulled back. Confusing was written all over his face. “I already forgive you, the moment you said so yourself.” 

“What about your arm?” And now worry has taken all over him. “Is it alright? Did I break it? Does it hurt? Are you hurt?” 

“Shiro,” You break his rambles. “It’s just a minor scratch. Got a bruise. No bones broken.” You move your arm like normal. Did some swing, left and right. “See, its nothing.” 

Shiro sighed for a relief. “Now, c’mon.” You stood up, offering the non-injured hand to Shiro. “Off to bed now.” 

He smiled at your offer and accept it. “Yes, ma’am.” You guide Shiro to his bed. Once he was comfortable, Shiro took your wrist. This time, the grip was gentle. You glanced over from you shoulder, wondering what will he do. 

To answer that, Shiro gave you a smirked then pulled you down onto his bed, wrapping both arms around your body, snuggling too. “Sleep with me.” He mumbled at your neck. 

You couldn’t help it. “Yes, sir.” 

Can we all talk about how Ed pointed that gun at Oswald was so beautiful? (yes I said it)

Look at their faces:

Oswald; challenging, a light smile, razor sharp stare, with no fear whatsoever. I’m so impressed with him everytime, like he has endured the pain and torture (physically and mentally) that he has grown to love it. My boy is hanging strong!!

Edward; those fucking eyebrows, gritted teeth and anger in his eyes but honestly? that gaze is hiding crippling fear let me tell you. He thought Oswald was dead the moment he shot him; Ed took pills just to see his best friend cause he was grieving(still is!), and seeing him alive threatened every fiber of his being. 

Together- Ben Parish x Reader

Request: Hi ! :) I’m new on your blog and i absolutely love it ! Could you possibly write a Ben Parish one shot where the reader has ‘larva’ as nickname, because of her clumsiness and inattention everybody bullying her and say that she never be worth anything, but Ben has a big crush on her, and comfort her ?

A/N: Based upon the first book in The 5th Wave series, not the later books!:) Also, sorry in advance I really tried on this piece, but I’m not sure I like how it came out, I hope it’s okay!

Part Two

Originally posted by ewbooks

You slammed into the mat for what felt like the hundredth time. Pain spread across your body. Your vision blurred a bit as you tilted your head up to look at the guy who just shoved you down. He was laughing at your clumsiness, you’d fallen after a mere push.

“You’re training to be soldiers not children, get up.” You turned your head towards the booming voice that could only belong the Colonel Vosch. Your throat tightened with anxiety. You’d never been the strongest of the bunch mentally or physically. You weren’t ready for the end of the world when it hit, I mean no one was, and you definitely weren’t ready to fight humanities last war. You weren’t ready to be a solider. “I said get up Larva.” Vosch barked again. You cringed at the sound of your nick name, you hated it, it took away the last piece of your identity you still hand.

“He said stand up.” The boy who shoved you down spoke now placing a hard kick into your arm that was propping you up causing you to fall back on the mat again. You could hear everyone in the training room laughing now. You struggled to stand from the mat raising your hands in fists in front of your face, mustering the courage to fight again. The boy sneered at you hooking a punch under your arms into your rib cage. You let out a small cry of pain and attempted to lunge forward with a punch , but the guy was faster reaching out, twisting your arm down and throwing you into the ground.

You felt like the room was spinning. “Well don’t stop.” You heard Vosch ️Laugh. The boy came at you again. You held your hands over your face to protect your self when shadow fell over you. You glanced up to see Zombie,another one of the trainees, standing there offering you a hand to help you up. You tentatively accepted it and he pulled you to your feet.

“Move man, this is between me and her.” The guy who’d been fighting you gave Zombie a small push.

“I think you’ve had your fun.” Zombie stood protectively in front of you. Everyone knew he was one of the strongest fighters here and the boy seemed to realize this wasn’t a situation in which he could win because he walked away grumbling. “Are you okay?” Zombie turned to you with a smile.
You nodded brushing back your hair, embarrassed you need someone to come rescue you, but also very thankful. Even Vosch seemed to back off.
“Let’s head back to the bunker we can get you cleaned up.” You hadn’t even realized a small cut on your head had started to bleed until he’d said that.

“Thanks.” You finally spoke up. He gave you a side ways glance as you walked down the hall.

“No problem.” He had a crooked smile. You tried to think about what it would of been like meeting him in a normal world. He was extremely good looking with dark hair and deep eyes, maybe there could of been something between you two. Yours hands brushed as you walked and you felt your face grow warm. “What’s your name?” He suddenly asked catching you off guard. 

 "L-larva.“ You replied. 

 "No.” He stopped talking and faced you, “your real name." 

 ”(Y/N).“ You said quietly. No one had asked you that in so long. 

 "Ben.” He flashed that amazing smile again. You thought about what had crossed your mind before, being able to have something with him only if out of this situation, maybe you still could, maybe even now in this messed up world you could still be together. He was the only person here that seemed to be interested in something other than hunting down aliens, it seemed like he still had something human in him something that wasn’t cold and lost something that still cared. You returned the smile, maybe with him there was hope.

anonymous asked:

Jeffmads and 7 please?

James has never seen Thomas like this; seething, his jaw clenched and his eyes blazing with anger. But it’s the silent fury that has James worried. Usually when Thomas is angry he rants and raves and paces across the floor until James is breathless from just watching him. But he’s never seen him like this.

“Thomas?” James starts gently, not wanting to startle his husband. When he gets no response, James clears his throat and tries again, this time a little louder. “Thomas!”

“Hamilton!” Thomas snarls in response, and it takes James a moment to realize that Thomas is giving an explanation for his anger, and has not forgotten who James is. “That son-of-a-bitch!” 

James raises his eyebrows at the exclamation, not really surprised since Thomas and Hamilton seem to fight every day at work. “What did he do this time?” He asks, still wondering what could have Thomas reacting this way.

Thomas scowls, one of his hands slamming down onto the kitchen table. He’s silent for a few more moments, his jaw working. But then he looks up at James and practically shouts. “He fucking put my paperwork into a carton of ice cream!” 

More silence falls after that, and James blinks a few times before opening his mouth, but it takes a few tries for something to come out. “He what?”

“He put…my paperwork…in ice cream,” Thomas repeats slowly, gritting out each word like it’s physically painful. “You know how I complain about he’s always walking around eating an entire thing of ice cream throughout the day? Well today he decided to be even more of a pain in the ass.”

“By putting your paperwork into the ice cream?” James asks one more time, just for clarification.

“Not just that,” Thomas says with a sharp laugh. “He…” He trails off there, face twisting in anger. “He fucking let the carton of ice cream melt and then took my paperwork, which I just need him to sign, and then just disappeared, and then like an hour later he comes back and just hands me the carton of ice cream.” Thomas laughs again, looking a little crazy, but James would never tell him that. “And there I am thinking this is some sort of weird peace offering, so I start eating the ice cream, and then I find my paperwork fucking frozen in the middle of it!”

James bites at his lip to keep himself from laughing, but Thomas must notice his expression because he practically growls. “Sorry,” James chokes out, holding up a hand. “I’m just…wow.”

“I know,” Thomas snarls, sitting down at one of the chairs and slumping in the seat. “I’ve never been more angry in my life.” He goes silent again, eyes still ablaze and his jaw tight with anger.

James stifles another laugh by disguising it with a cough, figuring he should go into supportive husband mode. “Babe,” he murmurs, stepping behind Thomas and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “It’s all gonna work out. You probably have copies of the paperwork, right?” He waits as Thomas nods reluctantly. “Then it’s fine. You know Hamilton is a child, this shouldn’t surprise you.”

“He made me look like an idiot,” Thomas mumbles.

James plants a kiss on his cheek. “No one thinks you’re an idiot, darling. I happen to think you’re pretty amazing.” He kisses Thomas again, giving himself a mental pat on the back when he sees the start of a smile on his husband’s lips. “Now how about we eat dinner?”

“Yeah,” Thomas sighs, squeezing James’s hand. “Thanks. What do we have?”

“I was thinking we could go out, actually,” James starts slowly, a smile creeping onto his face. “To that new place down the road? Maybe we can even…” James leans in closer before finishing, “stop for ice cream afterwards.”

James leaps away with a laugh when Thomas shrieks at him, doubling over with tears in his eyes as Thomas glares at him with an expression of betrayal.

“Why is everyone so mean to me?” Thomas whines, his lower lip pushing out in a pout.

James steps forward and pinches his cheek. “It’s all out of love on my side, doll.”

He's Getting Married, But Not To You

“You look great, Harry” I smiled, fixing his tie so it could fall perfectly against his chest. As my hands smoothed out the fabric, I let my mind wander away. I couldn’t imagine how I would be knowing Harry has made a commitment to be with somebody who isn’t me forever. Just him being engaged was enough to make me cry myself to sleep some nights, asking why it couldn’t be me. Why it never could be me.
It’s like a fire in your chest that keeps burning you, telling you that you’ll never be good enough. It’s a sting in your heart that makes you realize that the person you would die for wouldn’t even think about saving you. You’re just the person that’s there, the person that they would go to when they don’t have anybody else.
“Y/n? Are you alright?” Harry giggled, bringing me out of my trance, “You’ve been staring at my tie for ten minutes”.
My cheeks flushed red as I looked down, taking my hands away from the smooth fabric while mumbling a quiet “sorry”, backing away so he can see the final look.
All the guys walked to the other side of him, catching his reaction at the man he will soon be becoming. I couldn’t bring myself to catch his reaction, knowing that the happiness that will appear on his face won’t be because of me.
“Wow” Harry breathed, running his fingertips lightly over the tie, “I’m getting married. Guys, I’m getting married!” Harry smiled, running his long fingers through his hair.
Louis went to hug him, giving him a small squeeze, his was to congratulate him. I’ve never seen the boys so excited for him, and it crushed me to know that I couldn’t even act happy for him like that. I always try to hide myself, trying to escape telling him how “happy” I was.
My eyes became glossy as I took a quick glance at Liam. He was looking at me with the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen in my life. He had looked at me as if I had been lost and sick for months, and had no hope of ever finding my way back home.
Liam knew how madly in love I was with Harry. Liam was the only one who knew, in fact, and I wasn’t the one who had told him. Liam somehow had figured out my secret love for Harry. It was strange, knowing that one of Harry’s “brothers” knew that I, his best friend, had this huge and undoubtable love for him, but as time went on, Liam actually helped me with my problems with Harry and his fiancè Lorie, and I couldn’t thank him enough.
“I just can’t believe that in one month, I’ll be having the wife of my dreams. In one month I’ll be making a commitment to stay with her forever. Gosh, guys, I always thought that this happiness was fake, but she made it real. My gosh, I just can’t believe I’m marrying her” Harry breathed, showing off the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on him—a smile I could never cause.
I felt a tear run down my face, and I quickly wipped it away, hoping none of the boys have seen it.
“Y/n? What’s wrong, love?” Harry asked, taking short strides toward me.
I took a quick look at Liam, who nudged his head foward, giving me a symbol to tell him what was on my mind. I should tell him him. I should just let everything out now before it was too late, before Harry is too out of reach for me to grab onto, but I can’t, I can’t take away that precious smile he was wearing. I could never see him unhappy, I had to lie to him.
“I’m just—” I paused, taking a deep breath to collect myself, putting on a small smile to make it look like I truly ment was I was saying, “I’m just so happy for you, Harry. Growing up with you and all, I just can’t believe you had found somebody you really love. I’m so happy for you”.
Harry’s lips quivered as he smiled big, wrapping his large arms around me, giving me a strong hug, a hug that made me feel so secure, I was dreading the moment he will let go of me.
“Don’t lie, y/n” I heard a faint voice say. Harry’s head snapped up, making my body freeze completely. All the boys were looking curiously at Liam, as if they didn’t understand why he would say something like that.
I felt my heart pound and my hands start to sweat, knowing that Liam wasn’t going to end this without the truth being said.
“You love him, y/n, you can’t be happy for him. You can’t be happy at all, knowing that the love of your life is getting married. You have to go to sleep every night and cry out all that love for him because you can’t have him. You have to be there for him every god damn day, and all of your patience and all of your carefulness is being ignored. You have to compare every guy you meet to him because you want Harry. You want him and you know it. You’ve wanted him since you were fourteen, and now you have to lie? No. I’m not letting you walk around as if you didn’t have a soul anymore, y/n. Don’t prentend like you want this to happen for him”.
I let out a loud sob, making me cover my mouth in attempt to quiet myself down, but it didn’t work. I continued to sob, choking out a quiet “why would you”.
I quickly started to run away, but a large hand took ahold of mine. His thumb ran over my wrist, where old scars that had been there from when I felt like I could never be good enough for anything. Harry knew how sensitive I was about myself. I’d always say that nobody will ever love me, and he knew the now faded scars were there for that reason.
“Y/n” Harry whispered, trying to stop me from leaving.
“Let me go!” I sobbed, ripping my hand away from his and started running. Running so fast so that I could just disappear. Disappear forever.

- Day of the Wedding -

I threw on my dark purple dress. It was knee length, and wrapped perfectly around my body. My hair was in soft curls and my makeup was done nicely. I threw on a black pair of heals, and looked at myself in the mirror.
Even though Harry and I haven’t spoken since the fitting, I can’t just miss out on the biggest day of his life. This is his wedding, and if I truly loved him, I would support him every step of the way.
“Wow, I really like that dress on you” someone said through th doorway.
Liam and his fiancè stood there, with a small smile on his face, holding her hand tightly.
“Thanks” I said, giving a small smile. Liam was still the one there for me whenever I needed somebody. My views on life had gotten worse everyday, but Liam was always there to help me.
“Shall we go?” I asked, grabbing my clutch off of my bed and quickly walking passed him.
“You don’t have to do this” He mumbled, making me stop in my tracks. Tears piled in my eyes, but I shook them away. I have no reason to cry, because this is the happiest moment Harry could ever expierence, and I loved seeing that smile on his face.
“I want to. He’s my best friend. I’ll always be there for him” I comfirmed, making my way slowly to the car.
The car ride was silent, and I could tell nobody really knew what to say anymore. One wrong thing and I could break, and it was such a risk to even bring me to the church in the first place. I can’t picture him taking her hands, vowing to her that he will always love her with as much love as he can carry. Helping her when she’s sick, holding her when she’s sad, singing to her when she’s scared. I can’t picture the gold ring being slipped onto her finger as they kiss the first kiss of their marriage—I just couldn’t. It was too much, too much for me to handle.
Once we arrived at the church, Liam and his fiancè made their way out of the car. Liam looked behind his shoulder, checking on me to see if I was okay, but my body didn’t flinch. I couldn’t do anything. Breathing was difficult, and moving had seemed impossible. I started crying hyserically, hitting my forehead against the seat in front of me, hoping I’d smack some sense into me.
Why did I let myself fall for him? Why did I have to be so stupid?
I continued crying loudly, feeling as if it was the only thing I could do. My body was reacting to every thought about their future, and it seemed to be the worst reaction to anything I’ve experienced before.
There is so much pain. So much pain in my heart to move on. So much pain in the way I think that living seems so physically painful to me. How am I supposed to live without him? How am I supposed to live at all?
“I can’t do it”.
My head snapped up, looking through the open door, making my gaze meet a distraut Harry. His hair was a mess, his eyes were sad, and his tux was on on body, but he looked like he didn’t put any effort in himself at all.
“Harry, please fix yourself” I sighed, turning my body around to face him and bringing my arms up to his shirt, buttoning it up more.
“Y/n! Stop!” Harry yelled, pushing my arms away from him. My heart dropped as the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. He’s mad at me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Not now, not ever.
“I’ve been having doubts! I’ve been sitting in mine and Lorie’s bedroom all this time wondering if me and her getting married is even a good idea! And I never asked it! It never crossed my mind before Liam had to fucking call you out in front of the whole shop! You made me go through so much stress! You should have told me the second you felt things for me, and you know that! You’ve been ruining this for me!”
“Harry, please, I—”
“And yet I still want you!” he yelled, throwing himself against me as his lips landed perfectly on mine. My back hit softly on the seats, his chest laying perfectly against mine. My heart jumped out of my chest and I felt myself feeling happier than I ever have been, feeling his lips sync with mine, and feeling his fingertips dance along my waist, but I knew this wasn’t right. I’m not this kind of person, and I can’t make Lorie find out about this.
“Harry, this is out of pitty. Harry, Marry her” I whispered.
“Shut up. Just shut up. It’s you. You. I want you. Nobody else. Absolutely nobody. I was just so stupid to even realize what was in front of me. I never looked straight ahead. I always just looked around, and it made me so blind, y/n, because the way I felt just now, kissing you like that, made me feel like I could never die. I felt so infinite, y/n. I was just so blind. So damn blind” he mumbled again, kissing me, the way I had always pictured it.
His lips detatched from mine, running his thumb over my now swollen lips. He looked at them, so confused and hurtful, making everything come to a hault.
“How did I live so long without loving you like this?”