i like him you guys

pointless rant but I'm sad I'm sorry

(Warning this is so cringe I hate myself I’m sorry) Ok I’ve been having this thought in my head for awhile and idk if it’s just me but do you guys ever feel so unimportant and irrelevant in the world and that like all these people you look up to and admire just don’t care about you?
For example, I’m a huge fan of the YouTubers filthy frank, Idubbbz and maxmoefoe. They are the people I watch when I have a bad day and I need to laugh. But, they seem so unappreciative (for lack of a better word) because their fans are so invasive and cringy and they, understandably, want nothing to do with them. So I just feel dumb and cringy too.
But for a more relatable explanation to this account, let’s talk about meteos. If you guys haven’t noticed I really like him. Watching him play or stream immediately makes me so so happy. It’s the point where my friends will send me clips of him in interviews or something when I’m sad just to make me feel slightly better. I love listening to him talk, he always makes me smile and idk, there’s just something about him ok? It’s one of those things where like, he makes my life slightly better in a way. I’m generally a pretty sad, lonely person, and when I’m watching him stream I udon’t feel that yaknow? He’s so interactive and sweet and funny and I have fun for a few hours. It’s one of those things where I wanna be like “hey, thanks for being an entertainer for us” just so he knows that he’s at least helped one person (because personally, I love helping people) but then I just think that “oh wait, he literally wouldn’t care at all, what does it matter?” And I feel super irrelevant and sad.
It’s weird. Not just with him, but that’s my example. I tend to get super invested in my interests (typically streamers, games, youtubers, etc) because I want to find something to make me happy and that usually works but then I think about how dumb and cringy I sound and then I hate myself for it.
I don’t really know what the point of this post was but this has been bothering me for some reason lately and I’ve been sad and even reading over this I just feel so dumb for liking famous people so much like I’m 17 not 12 what am I doing?? But I can’t really help that it makes me happy I need something but
Ugh idk guys sorry for this but gotta vent somehow so why not to 250 strangers on the internet am I right

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.

i can’t decide between quoting lucky i’m in love with my best friend and lucky we’re in love in every way from this song that resonates with this picture, and my feelings, perfectly

seamus and dean you guys

November 11, 2016 - Happy Birthday, Wally!

In which Wally reacts to his 22nd birthday exactly the same way I did.

(Also my 22nd birthday was just 6 days ago… we’re so close in age! Just another reason to love him.)

And because I know people are gonna call me out for being unrealistic, here’s an actual picture of how his 22nd birthday goes down, you sadists:


He gotta give him that air you know