i like focusing on the positive ok

anonymous asked:

I was salty about the changes in art styles in su until I read the tags in that post you reblogged. Thank you for educating me that they are VISUAL INTERPRETATIONS of the characters, rather than INACCURATE DRAWINGS of the characters. As an artist, I would feel awful if a lot of people criticized my art because they want it to look a different way than I had portrayed it. Sorry for being ignorant before. Yall work hard, and do an amazing job with the art on the show tbh

thanks! i mean i don’t work on the show, but i am pretty tired that nobody considers that boarders all have their own style and draw the characters in that style pretty darn consistently. i know who does “chibi steven”, who gives lapis what hair, and who makes peridot taller than others. none of that is a big deal to me - that’s how they interpret the characters, and there is no “on-model” version. it’s just your favorite vs least favorite boarder. 

it’s an annoying discussion, because it always turns into double standards: giving earlier seasons a free pass, comparing completely different boarders, or comparing it to shows that aren’t storyboard-driven. none of that is fair to me. i’ve even seen people - friends - get hate because they *gasp* had the audacity to show that “hey, this is kind of a thing with storyboard-driven shows, it’s not some scandalous, new ~crossing the line of animation quality :’( </3 ~ that su is doing”. 

people are allowed to not like ~inconsistency, even if intentional. i don’t care. but if animation “quality” matters that much to them, even when everything is intentional, even when each storyboarder is consistent in their own style, then, yknow… ok. keep raging on for another year, i hope it’s fun. 

i don’t say “get a life” often, but… geez. if they’re so focused on the fandom they either A) let a rage-bandwagon define how they feel B) focus all that time on something they legitimately hate, then… idk. i just feel bad for them. i’m not gonna answer asks about this topic anymore, though, whether positive or negative, cause here’s the thing: once you decide it is, every show is bad. literally anything can be accused of being shit, because this standard that you’ve decided is the “standard of quality” is defined by you. anyone can draw a line in the sand - i’ve done that with shows too. i just want people to be honest with themselves, on whether going out of their way to “prove” something su has always done - intentionally - suddenly makes it bad now is worth it or not. or whether they’re getting any enjoyment out of this at all. 

ok i know youngmin and jonghyun were both really patient leaders and really focused on getting their members to catch up but can we talk about some of the other leader dudes ? like lee euiwoong leader dude?

listen, my boy here was the Youngest out of his entire group and he still volunteered for the leader position and then he actually - like? you know how age hierachy works with respect and my mans got his whole team to work together and set up practice times and checked in with every member and made sure they were on track and did all of this respectful as hell ? he got brushed off a little and people misjudged him but he still took it with a good heart and can we -

“if it means having a quality stage, i’m okay with giving up center position.”

b r u h, ppl dont like it when ppl r greedy fr positions and ppl gas other leaders up for not wanting to be the center. and then u get this kid, Kid, he wants the benefit and he wants the center position and he’s still okay with losing his chances for both if it works out better for all of them overall? lee euiwoong, say it with me, remember this name, euiwoong. he’s the kind of selfless leader everyone should love.

01 liner, lee euiwoong - the trainers even acknowledged his skills in rapping - like this mans thought my boy was a vocalist but after seeing him perform he Got It. come on, please give him more than a little love and please recognize how he’s a good leader too nevermind being so young. he even placed last during the rankings but he said he expected it :(( he acknowledged and respected the skills of his teammates and understood that they needed to work together to make the stage good and hell, it was so good. love my fluff please.

ok so I’m like conflicted bc I wanted jamilla to come into the picture not only for sana’s sake but to remind her of what social media can do like it literally wrecked their friendship

on the other hand sana smirked and finally got some relief but it would’ve been nicer if she didn’t do it at all and focused on Ramadan instead like……

Second Chances // Part12

Series Masterlist

Words: 1780
Warnings:
 Violence, a lot. Angst?
Pairings: 
Bellamy x Reader; OC Grounder x Reader; Octavia x Reader
Episode:
1x13 We are grounders Part 2


        “Y/N. I need to talk to you,” Octavia said sternly, giving you the idea that you had done something to upset her.

        “Oh, uh, yeah, sure,” You said, following her to the edge of the camp.

        “Who was that Grounder? And don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about,” Octavia asked.

        You sighed. “Jessie. His name is Jessie. I met him a while ago. He saved me from the acid fog,” You answered, gesturing to your scared hand. “Please don’t tell anyone, especially Bellamy,” You begged. 

        “Don’t worry. I won’t,” Octavia promised and you let out a sigh of relief. “So.. do you like him?” She asked with a smirk.

        You laughed and nodded. “I do, in fact, you could say we are a thing,” You stated and she smiled. Octavia didn’t smile much these days, so seeing it made you so happy. “Have you spoken to Lincoln recently?” You asked.

        She nodded,” Yes. He said we need to get out of here as soon as possible and go to the ocean. They are going to attack. Bellamy and Clarke know already,” You could feel your breath hitch at her words.


        Meanwhile, as you spoke to Octavia, seemingly alone, a nosey teenager heard everything.

Keep reading

What Do YOU Want? Pt. 6

A Kwon Jiyong series ft. Kim Jiwon

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Word count: 3,500+

Summary: The most important person in the world to you can appear most often when you least expect it. But through everything, you can’t forget about you and your own happiness. Who are you happy with? Who is the best for you?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 … Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 

(A/N: Yowza, the next part won’t be this long, I promise!! I just really loved writing this one, though this part probably contains the least amount of Jiyong thus far. As always, I hope you all enjoy it!!!)

Originally posted by magikasa

“For the fifth time, yes, we’ll make sure you get a wig with short black hair.”

You were nearing the end of what turned out to be a surprisingly difficult rehearsal with iKon and were responding to all questions in between your panting. All along it had been extremely entertaining and your difficulty breathing mainly came from how often you’d burst out laughing at the way the 7 men attempted to be feminine. You should have accounted for the amount of effort it would take to get these boys to dance the way girl groups do.

“Short black hair will just work the best with my face. It’s my concept.” Junhoe was insistent, as per usual, that his good looks be maintained throughout the performance and the rest of you had a good laugh whenever it was brought back up.

Keep reading

This is about to contradict a lot of “positivity” blogs out there

First of all: self-love and self-care are important. You are God’s creation and should treat yourself as such. However. Taking care of yourself only does so much.

“What?”

WOW NEWS FLASH:

Other people deserve to be cared for too.

So give them the positivity they might need. Be the one person who listens. Bless them in ways you wish others would bless you.

“But what about me?“

WOW NEWS FLASH #2:

Helping people feel better helps you feel better yourself! Focusing on how my life sucks and how my problems outweigh everyone else’s and how I have it worse and on and on and on…

That only.

Makes.

Your problems.

Worse.

A lot of people say to put your needs first and all that. Sometimes that’s ok. But DO NOT forget the needs of others. They deserve the same love and care you give to yourself, and they might not even realize it. So, I say it again: give them that love. Even when it’s hard. Even when you feel like crap. I promise you will feel better.

squirrel-or-moose  asked:

Ooh, can you do number 69 with Nessian and a wedding please????

Thank you @squirrel-or-moose for sending this in! Apologies for the delay. Stuff and more stuff kept me too distracted these past few weeks. Hope you like it!

*Disclaimer: written without ACOWAR knowledge*
~~~~~

Nessian: Just pretend to be my date.

~~~~~

Cassian sat a table in the massive courtyard that Rhys and Feyre had sequestered for their wedding celebration. They had done it as the official celebration for the end of the war and they had truly asked all of Velaris to join them. It was decorated beautifully and the lights were bright and colourful. Rhys and Feyre danced in the middle of the courtyard, surrounded by other couples and groups dancing as well. He had never seen his brother so happy, Rhys hadn’t stopped smiling since he had started getting ready this morning. Feyre looked radiant, in fact she was radiant. He could see that she was glowing unable to contain it in her joy. The black glittering dress she wore caught the light and shone brighter. What made it do so, Cassian couldn’t describe it. Female clothing had always been a bit above and beyond his comprehension. It was black and glittered. That description would do him.

Cassian spied Mor and Azriel dancing together. That was another male he had never seen look happier. The two of them were smiling and laughing and were dancing flawlessly together. Az’s shadows were no where to be seen and when Azriel caught his eye Cassian raised his glass to him. Azriel just smiled wider and turned his full attention to the exuberant female in his arms. Cassian wasn’t sure why he wasn’t with them. Dancing with them, embracing the night.

Actually, Cassian knew he was a liar. He knew exactly why he was with them.

It had to do with the female who was leaning against a pillar not too far away from him, trying to hide in one of the very few shadows that were available. She looked beautiful there, dressed in a purple gown, a small sad smile on her face. Her eyes were trained on her sisters, both of them dancing with their mates. Downing the rest of his drink in one gulp Cassian got up and started to make his way over to Nesta.

He reached her. And that’s when he realised that he had nothing prepared to say. Nesta noticed him, gave him a look then turned back to her sisters. There was a moment of silence, then Cassian said the first thing that came to his mind.

“Hiding in the shadows?” Cassian asked. His only reply was a shrug of Nesta’s shoulders. Cassian looked out to the dancing crowd, he saw Lucien and Elain dancing. She was laughing at Lucien’s missteps, such a clear and lovely sound. “They look happy.”

“Yes they do,” Nesta replied quietly, her voice almost breaking.

“Nesta…” Cassian started but at the moment he heard some call his name shrilly through the crowd. Cassian felt his body stiffen. No, not now. He turned slightly, just to be entirely certain, and out of the corner of his eyes he saw her. Panicking he turned to Nesta.

“Pretend to be my date,” Cassian blurted out.

“What?” Nesta said cooly as she pushed off the pillar.

“Just,” Cassian could hear the female getting closer, “pretend to be my date.”

Nesta must of seen his panic and desperation on his face because she nodded and moved closer to him. Just in time as the female appeared next to him and she lightly put a hand on arm.

“Cassian,” she said with a simpering smile, but the she saw Nesta at muttered a soft ‘oh’ as her hand fell away.

Cassian shifted his gaze to Nesta. She was glaring at the female, and she moved closer to Cassian so she was practically nestled into his side. Instinctively Cassian’s arm wrapped around her waist.

“Cassian who is this?” Nesta asked sweetly. Cassian gaped a little. The ability the Archeron sisters had to so easily fall into required roles terrified him. Each of them did it flawlessly. He would never tell them how much it scared him though.

“Nesta, this is a friend of mine, Janice. Janice, this is Nesta Archeron,” Cassian said indicting to them both in turn with his free hand. He saw Janice’s eyebrows raise a little, recognition showing in her features.

“Pleased to meet you,” Janice said.

“Likewise,” Nesta replied.

Cassian could tell neither female meant it.

“Sweetheart, dance with me?” Nesta asked. Cassian turned to look at Nesta. She looked at him pleadingly and he just nodded. Partly out of shock, partly because there was nothing else he would rather do in that moment. The sound of his nickname for her coming from her lips for him had sent a thrill through him and the world around them may very well not existed. At his affirmative answer Nesta led him out to the dance floor. Nesta placed her arms on Cassian’s shoulders, almost linking her hands behind his head.

“She’s still watching,” Nesta said through a charming smile.

Cassian couldn’t care less he was only focused on Nesta. The way her hair caught the light, the smooth curve of her jaw, how tonight her eyes were more grey than blue.

“Ok she’s gone,” at that Nesta’s arms dropped to a more casual position, but didn’t leave his shoulders. “Who was that? And why did it look like you’d been kicked in the balls when you saw her?”

Cassian let out a heavy sigh. “We used to have… relations. Everyone hated her, thought she was irritating and bad company. Everyone was right of course, but when I ended it she just kept hanging on. Sometimes when we see each other when we’re out, she tries to, well you know.”

“Does it ever work?” Nesta asked. When Cassian didn’t say anything Nesta just raised an eyebrow.

“Sometimes it used to, depending on how drunk I was.”

Nesta just tipped her head back and laughed.

Cassian poked her hard with one of his fingers, “That’s not very nice, Sweetheart.”

That seemed to sober Nesta up because she stopped laughing and she once again looked at her sisters. Cassian gave her waist a small squeeze and she looked back to him and he gave her a questioning look.

“They don’t need me anymore. Either of them,” Nesta said and Cassian swore he saw her eyes glisten with mushed tears.

Cassian pulled Nesta a little closer and she looked up at him. “They may not need you, but it doesn’t mean you’re unwanted.”

Nesta cocked her head to the side and gave Cassian an unreadable look.

“Cassian I…” Nesta swallowed before she continued, “Cassian, I don’t want to pretend.”

Before Cassian knew what was happening Nesta was kissing him, and he kissed her right back.

BPD/AVPD coping PSA

typically, when you have BPD or AVPD, you struggle with creating false scenarios of abandonment in your head, you almost expect it. one way i’ve found that helps is if you write “truth statements”. especially when it comes to someone actively in your life that you’re afraid may leave you, write down words that they’ve said to you that prove that they care about you. 

for example, i write down some of the things that my girlfriend says like “i’m so excited to continue our story together” or “you make me happy” or “i’m proud of you”. that way, if you write down positive things regarding that person and their feelings for you, it makes it harder to keep focusing on the possibility of abandonment. this helps when you feel lonely or empty, it reminds you that someone cares and that you aren’t alone.

another important thing that i include is statements of accepting scenarios. like “if she leaves, i will be ok”. i write these over and over and it makes it easier to incorporate positivity and coping into my thought process. this helps regulate my emotions and validate my fears and anxieties when it comes to anticipated abandonment. 

it’s important to remind yourself that the other person is allowed to feel however they feel and that leaving does not always equate abandonment. it’s hard to do at first, but when you can’t afford therapy or medication, it’s almost like a life raft.

if you have any more ways you cope, add onto this. i want to find more ways because this is a Very Debilitating Disorder™

anonymous asked:

How did you get over your last ex?

Oh god if you’ve been following me on here for awhile then u know it took me forever because of how much I got hurt and fucked over and whatever and idk I mean I’m completely over her now but it took me almost a year to completely get over her and I didn’t realize that it’s okay to take that long to get over someone and better yourself until recently. I lost almost all my friends after that break up and I ruined a lot of relationships w some family members but I was just trying to look out for myself at that point and I got rid of all my negative relationships w people and just tried to be around positive people who had good intentions w me. I just focused on myself and didn’t worry about anyone else. It hurt like hell bc I lost someone who was in my life for 3 years but I slowly adjusted and became ok w it and realized that everything happens for a reason and now we can be civil and talk every now and then and have it not bug me or make me sad at all. But if you’re going through a break up and need to get over someone just focus on yourself. That’s the best thing you can do and make sure u know its ok to yell, scream, kick, cry, etc. bc you need to let everything out bc if u keep it bottled in like I did for a long time it’ll make everything so much worse.

anonymous asked:

hi!! i love your art! can i ask for tips on your composition because you do it so well? if not its ok and i hope you have a lovely day anyways!

Thank you so much!! I don’t often get compliments to my compositions haha

Most of the time I just stare at my sketch long enough and try to figure out the right positioning of things… the rough composition is usually already planned out with the first sketch (example)
Since my art usually focuses on a character I try to just build everything else around them. Here I tried aligning everyone in a circle (cause I wanted something like a wormhole in the bg) with Anabel as a main focus.

A different example, for this digimon zine cover I drew a very rough sketch and just kept tweaking it, moving the characters until I was satisfied. Here’s a process gif where you can see how much I changed them

Additional tips:

  • Splashing rough colors on your very early sketches helps figuring out what needs more tweaking
  • always look at the drawing as a whole at all times
  • I’m a designer so I look at a lot of stuff like movie posters or book covers or just art of artists I like and it’s a big help to get an eye for good compositions. Analyze the stuff you like!
  • I really recommend practicing to work more with type, it not only makes illustrations look more interesting, you’re also automatically forced to think more about the placement of things cause you can’t just put it anywhere
  • I take notes of things I want to try out (dunno if anyone should do that lol)
  • don’t get discouraged too fast, a properly made illustration with a good composition takes me fricking weeks, I don’t joke when I say I stare at my drawings for hours, thinking about it all day, takING NOTES–

I’m pretty bad at trying to explain stuff but I hope this was interesting enough to read!! Have a nice day!!

anonymous asked:

Mila's doing ok so far but there's still so much work to do. Chart performance is decent, iTunes needs a push, but radio ads are promising. It's just the beginning tho. Long story short, no one has anything to be jealous of. They're all just focused on doing their best and being happy. Stay positive!!!

Yep I agree. Oh and I was jamming to CITC today at work. Smh…I screamed like an idiot and then spent the rest of my break trying to regain my self control.

I wanted to make a New Year Spread (even though I think I’m a bit late on this one!) that was mostly positive, that focused on looking forward and growth through positive energies! (Ok, one card about looking back, but that’s it.) I purposely left out obstacles/outcome because I wanted to vibe to be more uplifting and open-ended. Anyway, hope you like it ♡

Message In A Bottle [REQUEST]

Ok, so I’m not very good at writing sad things. I doubt this will make you cry, maybe feel a slight twinge but that could just be indigestion or heartburn. I hope you are happy with the scenario though.

I on the other hand need to watch lots of happy things to cheer myself up because I’m very sad. Don’t worry though, I’m sure a bit of Baekhyun and Chanyeol will cheer me up.

Jade xo

As soon as his plane landed, Sehun went straight to the hospital.

He had been in Thailand performing when he got the call. His phone had been ringing from the moment he got off the stage. Breathlessly he answered the unknown number and as he did, the water bottle in his hand fell to the floor. The news crashed down on him, that you had been knocked off your bicycle and were in a critical condition, and Sehun knew he needed to be in Seoul. He went to his manager, who organised the flight while Sehun went straight to the airport to fly home.

Running into the hospital, Sehun leaned against the receptionist’s desk to try and catch his breath. “I need to … my fiancé … in a car crash.” He wasn’t making any sense, he was too focused on holding everything in. Once he saw that you were ok, he could let it all out.

The receptionist seemed to know what he was trying to say. “I’ll get the doctor for you, Mr Oh,” she said, hurried from her position to somewhere up the corridor.

Sehun sat down on one of the cold chair in the waiting room, running his hands through his hair. “Please be ok baby,” he murmured repeatedly like it was a prayer. “I can’t live without you. We have so much to do together: get married, have children, travel the world. Just please be ok!” His tears piled up but he wiped them away before they even had a chance to fall. He needed to be strong, for you.

At that moment, the doctor arrived, making Sehun get to his feet quickly and bow. “How is she sir? Is she going to be ok?” he frantically asked, searching the doctor’s passive face for any sign of what had happened.

“Let’s sit,” the doctor said softly, making Sehun gulp hard. It wasn’t good news if he was being asked to sit. He did so anyway, anticipating the doctor’s next words. “While you were on the aeroplane, we had to perform emergency surgery on your fiancé. There was a lot of internal bleeding and she was struggling to breathe properly. One of her lungs had been punctured by her broken ribs.”

“But she’s ok now, right?” he asked hopeful, feeling his eyes fill up once again. Sehun knew what the answer was going to be. Part of him had felt it in his heart ever since he got the call and as much as he didn’t want the doctor to say, he had to hear it for himself.

The doctor placed his hand awkwardly on Sehun’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry Mr Oh but your fiancé didn’t make it through surgery. She suffered a massive haemorrhage and ….”

Sehun didn’t hear anything after that. His world just seemed to shatter around him, losing all its colour and life now that you weren’t in it. All sounds were dull knowing he would never hear your voice again – he even became numb to the strong sterile smell of the hospital. He didn’t notice the tears fall down his face. All he could feel was his heart breaking.

“She knew her chances when she agreed to the surgery,” the doctor continued on, even though Sehun hadn’t been listening at all. “She wanted me to give you this if something happened to her.” The doctor handed him your phone and then got to his feet, leaving Sehun alone.

Even holding your phone was hard for him. It was always attached to your hip; he never saw you without it. He went to unlock your phone, your lock screen flashing up in front of him. “Oh baby,” he sobbed, his head falling into his hand. It was a picture of you and him on a boat on the Han River when he asked you to marry him.  “I still can’t believe you said yes. Chanyeol kept telling me you would say no.”

He swiped up and the picture disappeared, being replaced by an image of you in a hospital bed. You had recorded a video for him. Covering his open mouth, he swallowed back his tears and willed himself to be stronger. He asked a nurse for the toilets and then locked himself inside them, sliding to the floor by the door. Then he hit play.

“Hey baby,” you said weakly, your voice coarse and husky.

The camera kept shaking as you struggled to hold it up. As soon as you started speaking, Sehun began crying, his sobs heaving his chest as the tears fell thick and fast. He kept wiping them away because they blurred his vision and all he wanted to do is see you.

“I guess if you’re watching this, I didn’t make it through the surgery.” Sehun couldn’t believe how brave you were being – you were staring death in the face, plus being in so much pain. “I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough.” You winced and the camera shook, making Sehun cry harder.

“This is my little message in a bottle. I know you’re in Thailand at the moment but I couldn’t face this surgery knowing I never told you everything. I love you so much baby. You are my best friend. When I moved here, I knew no one and I was so scared of this big city. And then some idiot split his coffee down me and turned my white top see-through. I should have known how perverted you were then. But you showed me around the city and made me feel at home and I quickly fell in love with you.”

Silently the tears started to fall down your face, mirroring those of Sehun.

“I couldn’t believe it when you said you loved me. Someone so handsome and perfect shouldn’t have be interested in me,” you continued, ignoring the tears stubbornly. “Every time I saw you, I had to pinch myself to check I wasn’t dreaming. And you asked me to marry you. Oh I want to marry you so bad, more than I ever wanted anything in my life. To hear someone say that you are mine and always will be, makes me feel giddy and excited.”

Sehun sighed through his sobbing. “I wanted you to be mine too baby!”

“If I don’t make it, I want you to promise me that you’ll try and be ok,” you told him sternly, your voice beginning to crack with raw emotion. “It won’t be easy but you have to try. I know you’ll want to shut everyone out but you have to let them in so they can help you. They love you just as much as me.” Your face screwed up in pain, the camera angle dipping as you became more and more tired.

“I love you so much Sehun, please don’t ever forget how much I love you.” And your face froze, the video ending.

Sehun didn’t know how long he’d been on the floor of the hospital bathroom. It could have been minutes, or hours, or days. Time just didn’t seem to be important anymore. Nothing was important now that you were gone. His tears were still wet on his face with more on the brink of falling. In his hand was your phone. He had probably watched the video you made for him a hundred times and it still wasn’t enough for him.

Taking a deep breath in, he wiped the tears off his face and splashed himself with a little bit of water before leaving the bathroom. He needed some air, he couldn’t think straight with all the hospital noise around him. As soon as he got outside, he was hit by the fresh air of dawn and he immediately broke down, hating the fact that a new day was about to start without you. He pulled out his phone and hit dial on a number, still staring at your phone in his hand.

“Sehun?” Luhan answered almost immediately.

Sehun couldn’t control his sobbing. His tears were hot as they fell down his face, as he stuttered your name down the phone. “She’s gone Luhan,” he cried, crumbling to the floor. “She’s gone forever and I don’t know what to do without her.”

“Whoa Sehun, slow down!” Luhan exclaimed down the phone. “You’re barely comprehensible, I can’t understand.”

“She’s gone hyung!” he shouted, angry at the fact you were gone. “Some asshole knocked her off her bike and now she’s gone and she’s not coming home.”

“Sehun,” he sighed softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know what to do, my baby’s gone!”

“Ok, where are you Sehun?” Luhan asked in a calm voice. Now he was showing his age, being the responsible and caring older one.

He sniffled back the tears, trying to pull himself together. “Seoul National University Hospital,” he told Luhan, staring at your phone. He was willing it to ring, for you to be on the other end of the line accusing you for stealing your phone. “Oh god, what do I tell her parents? Am I supposed to arrange a funeral?”

“Calm down Sehun! I’m cancelling my flight to Beijing and coming to the hospital now. I’ll be there within the hour,” Luhan explained calmly. “It’ll be ok. It probably doesn’t feel that way now but it won’t always be like this.”

Sehun didn’t say goodbye: he didn’t get to say goodbye to you and that was the only important one. He just hung up and stared at your phone. It seemed he didn’t have any tears left but he still felt like crying. While he waited for Luhan to arrive, he just sat outside the hospital on the floor and watched your ‘message in a bottle’.

And watched … and watched … and watched.


[masterlist]

anonymous asked:

lately my vibration is so low. i feel tension between calling out what's going wrong and focusing on what's going right/ what i want to manifest. i feel like it is being untrue to myself to pretend everything is OK, but i know if i dwell on the negative, that will become my reality. how do you stay positive when you're in the thick of it?

you said it yourself - it feels untrue to yourself to pretend everything is ok - so don’t. its okay to feel badly about something. it’s so important not to suppress what we’re feeling.

There’s a common misconception that we shouldn’t focus on or talk about anything negative. That it’s all “love and light, man” and what we think about is exactly what we are given in life, so I’m just not going to think about anything negative at all - ever. It’s false. We have to look at the darkness. We have to embrace our shadow and bring it to light. It is through the balance of duality that we become whole and realized. You can look at the negative without dwelling on it. You can talk about the things that are going wrong without creating more of them. Just like we can feel gratitude for the things that are going right.

The way to stay positive is to know that you are always on the path - during the high vibes, the low vibes, the good and the bad - you’re always right there - always home..here and now. <3

Chris Brown's Billboard Magazine Interview

   On Aug. 13, a high spirited Chris Brown gave Billboard his first formal interview since leaving jail in June. Kicked back in front of a control board at Hollywood’s hot Chalice Recording Studios, a vintage-gear-stuffed space favored by young artists, the 25-year-old was taking a late-afternoon break from putting the finishing touches on his sixth studio album, X. But like much of his recent life, the day featured a major distraction from the music: Hours earlier, the singer, who lives in Los Angeles, had to appear in a courtroom to get a (positive) progress report on sticking to his probation.

   Brown also boasts one of music’s most dedicated — and sometimes aggressive — online constituencies. “Team Breezy” numbers 38 million on Facebook, 13.6 million on Twitter and 4.7 million on Instagram. Women account for the majority of these fans: Brown’s manager Mike G estimates the artist’s base skews 65 percent female. (Many of them are teens, too: 21 percent of the overall visitors to his Facebook page are between 13 and 17.)

Did you spend time writing while you were in jail?

No. You know, jail isn’t a place of many creative spirits. But as far as my creativity, I put it on hold until I got out. Jail is more of a regimen and a structure. I’m more of a free spirit when it comes to creating music, painting and art. So when I got out, I was very excited to get into the studio. I didn’t have any ideas or concepts; they usually come as I go [in to record]. I was drawing and sketching most of the time, biding time.

What was the daily routine like?

   A guard wakes you up; you eat. You stay in your cell most of the time, basically 24 hours a day. Maybe on Mondays you go to the roof inside of a cage and have a phone call. It’s isolation. You have time to focus on what matters, on what to do and what not to do.

What lessons did you learn from the experience?

   My maturity level has risen as far as my realizing what’s important. Realizing that I’m human like everyone else. At the end of the day, it’s just a humbling experience. You’re more appreciative of everything else that’s on the outside. A burger tastes 1,000 times better when you’re out (Laughs.) I’m just more appreciative of the things I’m blessed with and the things I do: music, being able to take care of my family, being able to see my friends and family. And do what I love and still be able to do it in a timely fashion to where people don’t think, “Oh well, he fell off.” Still being able to be consistent.

What did you miss the most?

   I just missed my family. At the end of the day, music is definitely a passion. But when you’re dealing with your own personal issues, family is first. I just dealt with that. I missed my dad and mom, all my cousins … seeing people’s faces and smiles … seeing people who were just encouraging and positive.

How did you keep yourself motivated?

   [I had to feel] like this happened for a reason. There was a purpose. Maybe I was out of control too much. Or I needed something to humble me to the point where I get it. At that point, I didn’t look at it as trying to get out of the situation but learn from it.

How have you been able to maintain such a loyal fan base?

   First, I’d say God. Honestly. My faith in knowing what my purpose is and how I’m trying to find out what my purpose is. My fan base speaks volumes [to that]. I never want to say that I know everything or I know what the best song or a hit is. I just put it out there for people to like and love. I make music for myself personally, but I also try to do music that people can relate to, have fun with; evoke as much emotion as possible from my audience and peers. It’s God and just consistency with my talent. Being able to persevere if I get knocked down and always get back up. A lot of times, you can get convoluted and confused with all the mayhem and hoopla that’s going on. I just try to stay grounded; keep my family first. And always focus on what my purpose is: putting out great music. I don’t really focus on any extras or stories in the tabloids. It’s nonsense.

You’ve moved forward, and Rihanna says she also has moved -forward. Do you see a day when your relationship won’t be brought up at all?

  When we’re not relevant anymore, that might be the case. As long as you’re doing something good, people will always bring up old stuff or negative stuff because they don’t want you to surpass a certain level or elevate. But as long as you have your head on straight, it shouldn’t matter what people want to say.

Explain what it’s like to live in the public eye.

  I just have to realize it comes with the territory in this day and age of social media. My age group and younger stay on the phone and Internet. It’s easy access. So I just like to focus on what I’m doing instead of getting caught up. Everybody gets caught up watching Instagram or whatever; they have jokes and all kinds of things. I can still engage in it but not participate in the negative side. Not everyone in the world is going to particularly love me. But I’m cool with that. As long as I love myself and my music, I’m fine. People are going to say what they want to say. I don’t look over my shoulder or wish I could turn back the hands of time. Life is a learning experience, so I’m learning as I go. I’m not walking around angry about anything. So you just have to let it be. 

Do you consider yourself a role model?

   As far as my mistakes in life, that’s being a role model, because people can see my mistakes and learn from them. I’ve gone through more stuff than most 35- or 40-year-olds, and I’ve dealt with it. As far as becoming a man in the public eye, continuing to persevere and stay positive throughout trials and tribulations … that’s the only thing I’d say contributes to my being a role model. If kids look up to me, that’s amazing; great. As far as me as an artist and a person, I always want to exude positivity. But as far as saying, “Hey, I’m a role model, I’m the best of this,” I take the humble approach and let people make that decision for themselves.

How would you define redemption?

   Being able to learn from mistakes and inspiring people to learn from yours. Redemption is being able to be completely humble and love yourself. Know that you’re human and understand that life has its ups and downs, but God always balances it out.

If you couldn’t make music or dance, what would you do instead?

   I would be somewhere in the industry, but not necessarily around music. It would be more like fashion design, or I’d probably be a painter or street artist. I’m eclectic, with different styles of creativity. But painting is one of my biggest passions. I just started getting back into it since I’ve been so focused on music. It’s not like, “OK, I’ve got to do an art show so people buy my paintings.”

Do you feel positive about the outcome of the Washington, D.C., assault hearing?

   I just feel positive about life in general. Whatever happens will happen, and God has me. I’m going to keep my faith and be focused on my family, friends, fans and music. And from there just be the best Chris Brown I can be.

Billboard Cover: Chris Brown Opens Up About Rihanna, Jail & Accepting Life as a ‘Learning Experience’

Did you spend time writing while you were in jail?

No. You know, jail isn’t a place of many creative spirits. But as far as my creativity, I put it on hold until I got out. Jail is more of a regimen and a structure. I’m more of a free spirit when it comes to creating music, painting and art. So when I got out, I was very excited to get into the studio. I didn’t have any ideas or concepts; they usually come as I go [in to record]. I was drawing and sketching most of the time, biding time.

What was the daily routine like?

A guard wakes you up; you eat. You stay in your cell most of the time, basically 24 hours a day. Maybe on Mondays you go to the roof inside of a cage and have a phone call. It’s isolation. You have time to focus on what matters, on what to do and what not to do.

What lessons did you learn from the experience?

My maturity level has risen as far as my realizing what’s important. Realizing that I’m human like everyone else. At the end of the day, it’s just a humbling experience. You’re more appreciative of everything else that’s on the outside. A burger tastes 1,000 times better when you’re out (Laughs.) I’m just more appreciative of the things I’m blessed with and the things I do: music, being able to take care of my family, being able to see my friends and family. And do what I love and still be able to do it in a timely fashion to where people don’t think, “Oh well, he fell off.” Still being able to be consistent.

What did you miss the most?

I just missed my family. At the end of the day, music is definitely a passion. But when you’re dealing with your own personal issues, family is first. I just dealt with that. I missed my dad and mom, all my cousins … seeing people’s faces and smiles … seeing people who were just encouraging and positive.

How did you keep yourself motivated?

[I had to feel] like this happened for a reason. There was a purpose. Maybe I was out of control too much. Or I needed something to humble me to the point where I get it. At that point, I didn’t look at it as trying to get out of the situation but learn from it.

How have you been able to maintain such a loyal fan base?

First, I’d say God. Honestly. My faith in knowing what my purpose is and how I’m trying to find out what my purpose is. My fan base speaks volumes [to that]. I never want to say that I know everything or I know what the best song or a hit is. I just put it out there for people to like and love. I make music for myself personally, but I also try to do music that people can relate to, have fun with; evoke as much emotion as possible from my audience and peers. It’s God and just consistency with my talent. Being able to persevere if I get knocked down and always get back up. A lot of times, you can get convoluted and confused with all the mayhem and hoopla that’s going on. I just try to stay grounded; keep my family first. And always focus on what my purpose is: putting out great music. I don’t really focus on any extras or stories in the tabloids. It’s nonsense.

You’ve moved forward, and Rihanna says she also has moved -forward. Do you see a day when your relationship won’t be brought up at all?

When we’re not relevant anymore, that might be the case. As long as you’re doing something good, people will always bring up old stuff or negative stuff because they don’t want you to surpass a certain level or elevate. But as long as you have your head on straight, it shouldn’t matter what people want to say.

Explain what it’s like to live in the public eye.

I just have to realize it comes with the territory in this day and age of social media. My age group and younger stay on the phone and Internet. It’s easy access. So I just like to focus on what I’m doing instead of getting caught up. Everybody gets caught up watching Instagram or whatever; they have jokes and all kinds of things. I can still engage in it but not participate in the negative side. Not everyone in the world is going to particularly love me. But I’m cool with that. As long as I love myself and my music, I’m fine. People are going to say what they want to say. I don’t look over my shoulder or wish I could turn back the hands of time. Life is a learning experience, so I’m learning as I go. I’m not walking around angry about anything. So you just have to let it be. 

Do you consider yourself a role model?

As far as my mistakes in life, that’s being a role model, because people can see my mistakes and learn from them. I’ve gone through more stuff than most 35- or 40-year-olds, and I’ve dealt with it. As far as becoming a man in the public eye, continuing to persevere and stay positive throughout trials and tribulations … that’s the only thing I’d say contributes to my being a role model. If kids look up to me, that’s amazing; great. As far as me as an artist and a person, I always want to exude positivity. But as far as saying, “Hey, I’m a role model, I’m the best of this,” I take the humble approach and let people make that decision for themselves.

How would you define redemption?

Being able to learn from mistakes and inspiring people to learn from yours. Redemption is being able to be completely humble and love yourself. Know that you’re human and understand that life has its ups and downs, but God always balances it out.

If you couldn’t make music or dance, what would you do instead?

I would be somewhere in the industry, but not necessarily around music. It would be more like fashion design, or I’d probably be a painter or street artist. I’m eclectic, with different styles of creativity. But painting is one of my biggest passions. I just started getting back into it since I’ve been so focused on music. It’s not like, “OK, I’ve got to do an art show so people buy my paintings.”

Do you feel positive about the outcome of the Washington, D.C., assault hearing?

I just feel positive about life in general. Whatever happens will happen, and God has me. I’m going to keep my faith and be focused on my family, friends, fans and music. And from there just be the best Chris Brown I can be.

anonymous asked:

For Gotham's modern au: Jamie and Murtagh having to prepare one of the girls for something like a ballet perfomance because Claire is late, and being the only men there surrounded by mothers.

Modern Glasgow AU

Murdina MacKenzie’s eyebrows shot up when she turned to watch her best friend, Faith Fraser, scamper through the door and take her position at the barre.

“Why is yer hair all sideways?” she hissed. “And yer tights – they’re ripped!”

“Hush!” Faith turned to make sure that their teacher hadn’t heard. “Mama had to stay late at the hospital, and Auntie Suzette was still working at her shop, so Da and Murtagh had to help me get ready.”

“But how come ye couldn’t have come over to our house, then? Dads canna do our hair properly!”

Murdina bent to stretch her wee legs, scanning the cluster of parents on the other side of the room. Mam and Da were there – along with…four? Or perhaps five of her siblings.

Faith shrugged, stepping into first position, balancing in front of the mirror. “I *tried* to tell Da what to do, but he and Murtagh ended up arguing, so I let him do whatever he wanted.”

Murdina watched Faith’s da and…grandda? Uncle? (She didna ken who exactly Murtagh was – only that he loved Faith and her brothers and sister something fierce) enter the room and stand next to her parents. She recognized Fergus Fraser’s dark head, William Fraser right behind him like a wee shadow. And then Brianna Fraser’s bright red curls, focused on her book as she followed the Fraser men.

“But what about Bree?”

Faith stepped into third position and only wobbled just a tiny bit. “She doesna want *anything* to do wi’ ballet, remember? She’s outside building things all the time.”

Murdina tried for third position, and gripped the barre tightly. “Moira told me that she has a boyfriend.”

Faith pshed. “Ye mean Roger? He’s her best friend. It’s OK for girls and boys to be friends – that’s what Mama says.”

“But I dinna – ”

“All right!” Mrs. MacNab – the mother of Faith’s auntie Mary (who was married to her uncle Willie, who worked with Da at the printshop), and the headmistress of the ballet school – clapped her hands. “Positions, everyone!”

Faith swallowed against the sudden rush of nerves, but bravely faced the knot of parents and took her position beside Murdina.

She smiled nervously at her family – sad that Mama wasn’t there, but understanding. She knew that they’d probably have another of their special teas, like they often did when Mama just wanted time with her.

Da flashed two thumbs-up, and William waved.

Fergus beamed, and Bree smiled back.

And right as the recorded music began, Murtagh smiled so widely that Faith could see all of his teeth – before his face disappeared behind the viewfinder of his ancient video camera.

Billboard Cover: Chris Brown Opens Up About Rihanna, Jail & Accepting Life as a 'Learning Experience'

External image

On Aug. 13, a high spirited Chris Brown gave Billboard his first formal interview since leaving jail in June. Kicked back in front of a control board at Hollywood’s hot Chalice Recording Studios, a vintage-gear-stuffed space favored by young artists, the 25-year-old was taking a late-afternoon break from putting the finishing touches on his sixth studio album, X. But like much of his recent life, the day featured a major distraction from the music: Hours earlier, the singer, who lives in Los Angeles, had to appear in a courtroom to get a (positive) progress report on sticking to his probation.

Chris Brown: The Billboard Photo Shoot

That five-year probation stems from Brown’s 2009 conviction for assaulting ex-girlfriend Rihanna, an attack that remains notorious despite his public apologies, trips to rehab for anger management and diagnoses with both bipolar and post-traumatic stress disorders. Brown’s sometimes belligerent attitude and other tangles with the law haven’t helped. The 108 days he spent in a Los Angeles county jail this year were for violating parole after assaulting a stranger outside a Washington, D.C., hotel in October 2013. (Brown, who pled guilty to that charge on Sept. 2 and was sentenced to time served, punched the victim after the man tried to get into a photo with him.) He also has allegedly brawled with Drake and Frank Ocean.

Trouble has found him, too. On Aug. 24 — less than two weeks after Billboard’s interview — hip-hop mogul Suge Knight and two others were shot at Brown’s pre-MTV Video Music Awards party at Hollywood’s 1OAK. Unsubstantiated rumors spread that Brown was the actual target, and TMZ reported that he was “throwing gang signs” before the shooting. On Sept. 4, Brown provided this exclusive statement to Billboard regarding the events of the last few months:

Chris Brown Cover Tease: ‘I Hope That I Am Not Defined By Just a Few Moments in My Life’

“I realize that what I do for a living opens my life to public scrutiny and that I have a responsibility to everyone because of that exposure. I can say that I am only human and I have made mistakes. I can say that I try to live my life in the most true, honest way that I can. I am not perfect, no one is. No one is harder on me than me. No one can please everyone. No one can live in the past and expect to grow. I have been moving forward and hope that I am not defined by just a few moments in my life but all of the moments that will make up my life.”

Amid all of this “mayhem and hoopla,” as he himself calls it, Brown’s commercial clout remains massive. His most recent hit, “Loyal,” peaked at No. 9 on the Billboard Hot 100 and generated 1.1 million of his 41.3 million total downloads as a lead artist, according to Nielsen SoundScan. The Grammy-winning singer has scored 13 top 10 Hot 100 hits, including two No. 1s; 30 top 10s and four No. 1s on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart; and two No. 1 albums on the Billboard 200. All told, Brown has sold 6.1 million albums.

Brown also boasts one of music’s most dedicated — and sometimes aggressive — online constituencies. “Team Breezy” numbers 38 million on Facebook, 13.6 million on Twitter and 4.7 million on Instagram. Women account for the majority of these fans: Brown’s manager Mike G estimates the artist’s base skews 65 percent female. (Many of them are teens, too: 21 percent of the overall visitors to his Facebook page are between 13 and 17.)

Brown is undoubtedly one of the most controversial stars in music. But during this conversation he was gracious and engaging, if a bit circumspect. As he tinkered with the final mix and sequencing for X, which RCA will release Sept. 16, he sang, bobbed his head and tossed out instructions (“Let’s tone that down so it’s not too dominant”) to his engineer. In this Q&A, Brown discusses life behind bars, his growth as a person and whether society is ready to let him be considered a role model.

Did you spend time writing while you were in jail?

No. You know, jail isn’t a place of many creative spirits. But as far as my creativity, I put it on hold until I got out. Jail is more of a regimen and a structure. I’m more of a free spirit when it comes to creating music, painting and art. So when I got out, I was very excited to get into the studio. I didn’t have any ideas or concepts; they usually come as I go [in to record]. I was drawing and sketching most of the time, biding time.

What was the daily routine like?

A guard wakes you up; you eat. You stay in your cell most of the time, basically 24 hours a day. Maybe on Mondays you go to the roof inside of a cage and have a phone call. It’s isolation. You have time to focus on what matters, on what to do and what not to do.

What lessons did you learn from the experience?

My maturity level has risen as far as my realizing what’s important. Realizing that I’m human like everyone else. At the end of the day, it’s just a humbling experience. You’re more appreciative of everything else that’s on the outside. A burger tastes 1,000 times better when you’re out (Laughs.) I’m just more appreciative of the things I’m blessed with and the things I do: music, being able to take care of my family, being able to see my friends and family. And do what I love and still be able to do it in a timely fashion to where people don’t think, “Oh well, he fell off.” Still being able to be consistent.

What did you miss the most?

I just missed my family. At the end of the day, music is definitely a passion. But when you’re dealing with your own personal issues, family is first. I just dealt with that. I missed my dad and mom, all my cousins … seeing people’s faces and smiles … seeing people who were just encouraging and positive.

How did you keep yourself motivated?

[I had to feel] like this happened for a reason. There was a purpose. Maybe I was out of control too much. Or I needed something to humble me to the point where I get it. At that point, I didn’t look at it as trying to get out of the situation but learn from it.

How have you been able to maintain such a loyal fan base?

First, I’d say God. Honestly. My faith in knowing what my purpose is and how I’m trying to find out what my purpose is. My fan base speaks volumes [to that]. I never want to say that I know everything or I know what the best song or a hit is. I just put it out there for people to like and love. I make music for myself personally, but I also try to do music that people can relate to, have fun with; evoke as much emotion as possible from my audience and peers. It’s God and just consistency with my talent. Being able to persevere if I get knocked down and always get back up. A lot of times, you can get convoluted and confused with all the mayhem and hoopla that’s going on. I just try to stay grounded; keep my family first. And always focus on what my purpose is: putting out great music. I don’t really focus on any extras or stories in the tabloids. It’s nonsense.

You’ve moved forward, and Rihanna says she also has moved -forward. Do you see a day when your relationship won’t be brought up at all?

When we’re not relevant anymore, that might be the case. As long as you’re doing something good, people will always bring up old stuff or negative stuff because they don’t want you to surpass a certain level or elevate. But as long as you have your head on straight, it shouldn’t matter what people want to say.

Explain what it’s like to live in the public eye.

I just have to realize it comes with the territory in this day and age of social media. My age group and younger stay on the phone and Internet. It’s easy access. So I just like to focus on what I’m doing instead of getting caught up. Everybody gets caught up watching Instagram or whatever; they have jokes and all kinds of things. I can still engage in it but not participate in the negative side. Not everyone in the world is going to particularly love me. But I’m cool with that. As long as I love myself and my music, I’m fine. People are going to say what they want to say. I don’t look over my shoulder or wish I could turn back the hands of time. Life is a learning experience, so I’m learning as I go. I’m not walking around angry about anything. So you just have to let it be. 

Do you consider yourself a role model?

As far as my mistakes in life, that’s being a role model, because people can see my mistakes and learn from them. I’ve gone through more stuff than most 35- or 40-year-olds, and I’ve dealt with it. As far as becoming a man in the public eye, continuing to persevere and stay positive throughout trials and tribulations … that’s the only thing I’d say contributes to my being a role model. If kids look up to me, that’s amazing; great. As far as me as an artist and a person, I always want to exude positivity. But as far as saying, “Hey, I’m a role model, I’m the best of this,” I take the humble approach and let people make that decision for themselves.

How would you define redemption?

Being able to learn from mistakes and inspiring people to learn from yours. Redemption is being able to be completely humble and love yourself. Know that you’re human and understand that life has its ups and downs, but God always balances it out.

If you couldn’t make music or dance, what would you do instead?

I would be somewhere in the industry, but not necessarily around music. It would be more like fashion design, or I’d probably be a painter or street artist. I’m eclectic, with different styles of creativity. But painting is one of my biggest passions. I just started getting back into it since I’ve been so focused on music. It’s not like, “OK, I’ve got to do an art show so people buy my paintings.”

Do you feel positive about the outcome of the Washington, D.C., assault hearing?

I just feel positive about life in general. Whatever happens will happen, and God has me. I’m going to keep my faith and be focused on my family, friends, fans and music. And from there just be the best Chris Brown I can be.

External image

http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/6243695/chris-brown-jail-interview-rihanna-shooting-billboard-cover?mobile_redirection=false

Sparking the Fire - Day 1

who are you?  Hi - My name is John. I am married to Jennifer and have 2 awesome girls that are 7 and 2. I work from home and have been in tumblr for a little over 2 years. 

where are you from?  I live in a suburb of Kansas City. 

where are you in your journey?  I am on a long weight loss journey. I am down about 100 lbs so far and have a little more than that left to go. Last year was very up and down for me and I ended up the year gaining some weight. I am focused on turning that around and getting back to a positive, downward trend. 

what do you like to do for fun?   Tumblr and video games. I am about 50 hours into fallout 4 right now. 

are there any specific things we should know about you?  As you can guess, I am not the typical fitblr. (Being older, male, with kids etc.) I used to stick out but I have gotten comfortable with it. You either like me, or you don’t an I am OK with either :) 

On the same note - I am 100% in support of everyone being their authentic selves. So please consider me an ally. 

and my three words…  Dad, Kind, Silly