i like big trucks

Confession: I am sitting here laughing so hard at my own fucking nonsense that I am gonna have to compose myself before writing a rambly artist note.

Will you even look at this.

Okay, so: This was a gag gift, you know it was a gag gift, obviously a very well-thought out one that took some planning, but the person who gave it was apparently unaware that while you can take the man out of Iowa, you cannot take the Iowa out of the man.  Even if you manage to surgically excise every trace of Midwest, you’d STILL have someone who used to wear a purple miniskirt to work.

Last statement here is that if you’re new enough to Hawkeye that you don’t recognise the GOSH I LOVE ARROWS thing, I am going to give you the pleasure of Googe-Image-Searching it yourself.  Enjoy!  You’ve picked the right Avenger to love, you really have.

Thoughts on the Voltron characters from my friend who has never seen Voltron


  • “She looks like Sokkas moon girlfriend!”
  • “She also reminds me of Starfire from teen titans but like Starfire’s sophisticated cousin who’s like at Harvard”
  • “Probably hates Lance”
  • “Her outfit looks like one of the emperor penguins”
  • “I like how she doesnt take her earrings out to fight”


  • “I feel like this person kinds looks like they’re trying too hard to not try but also kinda looks like a turtle”
  • “Their hair says Pidgey but their glasses say grandma” 
  • “They look like they belong in pokemon”
  • “They look like they intern at a library and is that one kid who’s like books are fun!!!!!” 
  • “And then there’s that green frisbee….or is that a boomerang?”
  • “His uniform reminds me of a Snivy”


  • “He looks like brock from pokemon but older and buffer” 
  • “His headband makes me think he does tae kwon doe and and probably takes it too seriously”
  • “He has two fanny packs which makes me think hes the mom of the group. And the vest and the pants with knee patches scream mom to me”
  • “He also looks like he belongs in pokemon. I bet he likes rock type pokemon” 
  • “Generally just looks like a really nice person but could also probably break your neck” 
  • “I feel like he tried to play football but was bad at it because hes afraid of people hitting him”
  • “Woah! He has a chainsaw!….or is it a leaf blower? His big leaf blower thing makes me feel like hes compensating for something like how guys with big trucks are compensating for something”
  • “I feel like he is trying very hard and ends up being really extra but it works for him because of how nice he is”


  • “He looks dark and mysterious which make me think hes definitely compensating for something” 
  • “Does he have daddy issues?” 
  • “He also has 2 fanny packs but they’re more stylish” 
  • “He also has a metal arm which means tragic backstory which means definite daddy issues” 
  • “His hair looks like 2013 zayn” 
  • “His eyebrow game is like on fleek” 
  • “Definite daddy issues. Did i say that yet?”
  • “Is that a sunburn on his nose? He should use neutrogena 50” 
  • “He almost looks like chat noir and chat has daddy issues so he definitely has daddy issues 100% confirmed” 
  • “I feel like this is what adrien thinks he looks like when hes chat noir” 
  • “He screams daddy issues kate”
  • “His robot hand is glowing….maybe it’s magic? He must be the wizard every squad needs a wizard friend”
  • “Edgy™️”
  • “He and robin from teen titans are like soulmates and arent both of robins parents dead too? Which means he definitley has daddy issues. The facts are there.”


  • *laughs for a minute straight*
  • “He’s livin in the 80s man”
  • “Probably looks up to the leader” 
  • “Looks like he used to be a dancer but his dad made him quit because he was like ‘no dancing is for girls’ and hes still bitter about it and dreams of being a dancer and thats why hes frowning” 
  • “Is like the chill gay like he never really tells you hes gay its just understood”
  • “Is the Brooding Silent One” 
  • “Keith is such a lame name no wonder hes so upset id be upset too if my name was Keith”
  • "I dont think this is his jacket because the sleeves are too big for him like he has to roll them which means the jacket isnt his which means tragic backstory. Like maybe its his brother’s jacket and his brother died or went to college so now he looks up to shiro because his brother is gone” 
  • “So hes got a mullet….and thats very sad” 
  • “He looks Emo” 
  • “Keith arrives at the cafeteria and goes to sit all by himself and his friends just find him and hes like no you dont understand i want to be alone but in the end hes happy they came because he loves them” 
  • “I also feel like hes the stealthy one and takes it way to seriously and is like fuck yeah I’m a ninja” 
  • “He is the epitome of ‘this is not a phase mom’”


  • “He is Sokka if Sokka had a good haircut” 
  • “He is the main character of all of those high school movies that all end the same” 
  • “I also think hes very gay” 
  • “Hes the kid who like came out in seventh grade by announcing it in the cafeteria” 
  • “he kinda look like a green bean” 
  • "He looks loud” 
  • “He’s the kid in gym who takes gym way to seriously” 
  • “He would probably wear his jacket to a fancy event and be like ‘this is fancy its got lapels’” 
  • “He probably has ten pairs of the same pants and shirt, but only one of those jacket which he never washes” 
  • “I bet he carries a satchel” 
  • “I feel like hes very average like hes not the one whos always screwing up but hes not the one whos always being great” 
  • “He probably never puts his gun away and i feel like he talks with his hands but he never puts down the gun so he like waves it around and accidentally shoots something” 
  • “I feel like he could fit in on Haikyuu. He looks like he could be on a mans volleyball team”
So...My Mom had been secretly jotting down quotes I’ve said for the past three years...

07/05/14 - It’s so tempting to put my foot in your pocket.
10/07/14 - I don’t like trucks, they’re small and cramped and big.
12/27/14 - Have you ever used a stripper pole?
02/17/15 - That’s not elegance, that’s bad taste.
02/17/15 - You look funny from down here
04/01/15 - That awkward moment when your stomach steers the wheel
04/02/15 - It’s boozeday everyday
05/11/15 - Isn’t this music just soooo groovy and inviting?
05/18/15 - I got grandma boobs
06/05/15 - You guys are such prunes
06/17/15 - Sometimes I wonder what it would sound like if a flamboyant gay man sang some of my favorite songs
06/29/15 - whispers You’ll be getting into menopause soon
09/27/15 - Have you ever seen Bareback Mountain?
02/08/16 - Sometimes I forget you’re that old
05/29/16 - “I was playing a stressful game” “?” “SIMS” “Yes very stressful” “ I was taking care of two teenagers” “!”
08/02/16 - You have to keep your ears pealed
08/14/16 - My my, chicken pot pie (thinking of winner winner, chicken dinner)

@cherryirises @thebluepacience @notecatcher @dpdgamzee 

NOTE: Yes. These are all things I, Clavis, have said. And yes the last one I said today.

It’s been so long since I’ve seen Cars I forgot I legit liked the big truck and the old Volkswagen Bus but also I’m mad bc there’s a traveling sequence but no life is a highway?? >:///

anonymous asked:

Ok but Oliver has access to the money Felicity inherited aka THEY SHARE A BANK ACCOUNT they're practically married already what's the hold up

Goddamn it, I know it, anon.

(gif source)

I cannot believe how much this tickles me, I am so, so tickled at how they are throwing out all the old conventions with Olicity, basically lighting them all on fire

Felicity has become the bread winner here, she’s the CEO of the multi-billion dollar company that while, yes, is having problems, it most definitely is still worth a fucking fortune. Baby girl’s got lots of moolah… and Oliver has access to it, by virtue of being her boyfriend. This is the crap you read about in shit romance novels, when the guy is a billionaire and he gives the woman access to everything.

But it’s also that she’s giving him that access, and he just buys trucks.

“Hey, I bought a truck.”

“You bought a truck.”

“A truck.”

“… Is it a big truck?”

“Why does it matter if it’s a big truck?”

“I don’t know, that seems like something one should ask when someone buys a truck.”

“It’s just a… normal truck, I guess. It has that guy’s fingerprints on it.”

“Oh goody, fingerprints!”

He buys her boss-day presents.

He packs her lunch.

He uses “their” money to buy things.

Asexuality and Me

If you haven’t seen my friend evanedinger’s wonderful My Sexuality video, please give it a watch. I couldn’t stop thinking about it for a couple of days after watching it, and though Evan says everything I want to say much better than I can, I figured having a little ramble here couldn’t hurt.

A few years ago I became aware of asexuality. I kind of skimmed over it, mentally noted what it was but refused to research into it too much because I knew I’d find myself. And I didn’t want (and still don’t want) a label. I know that lots of people take great comfort in defining themselves, and I suppose it’s for that reason I’m sharing this. ALSO this is kind of weird because I have to use the phrase ‘sexual attraction’ a lot and that makes me blush. 

As a pre-teen, I didn’t enjoy when conversations delved into 'crushes’ and boy stuff. All I cared about was horses and books and books about horses. It’s really easy to avoid talking about boys when you’re at primary school. Cross the teenage bridge into high school, and it’s a whole other story.

Keep reading


Favorite Characters 52/∞: Mickey Smith (Doctor Who)

You left me! We were nice, we were happy. And then what? You give me a kiss and you run off with him, and you make me feel like nothing, Rose. I was nothing. I can’t even go out with a stupid girl from a shop because you pick up the phone and I comes running. I mean, is that what I am, Rose, standby? Am I just supposed to sit here for the rest of my life, waiting for you? Because I will. 

The Sitter (Pt.1)

Genre: FLUFF/smut/somewhat angst (?)
POV: first
Pairing: Reader x Taehyung
Length: 1573
Description: y/n needed a baby sitter after her asshole fiancé cheated on her a few years back. Tae and y/n eventually fall for each other which causes some problems with her fiancé she hasn’t seen in over three years.
A/N: Sooooooo since i finished life support , i thought id start a new fanfic. I know i already have one out already, (spotlight) but im not sure if i want to stay with that one so i might just delete the few parts i have and focus on this new one. Other than that, i hope you enjoy this new one!

Originally posted by huzurugetirenim

It had been three since I found that son of a bitch I once loved inside another son of a bitch I’ve never seen. Maybe I might’ve overreacted about the situation. That is, if you think dangling them over a balcony by their legs and burning whatever clothes they owned overreacting.

School was starting again and nobody was kind enough to take care of y/s/n while I worked, went to school, and ran weekly errands. Defeated, I gave up on looking and resorted to my best friend who only fed him way too much food and gave him massive stomach aches which resulted me covered in baby shit and vomit. Not the best experience as a first time single mother.

Of course, I couldn’t give that bastard full custody or really any custody at all. Y/s/n hadn’t even been born yet. Just two more months and we would’ve been alright. But he said he missed the action and needed to ‘fuck something before he went crazy’ which isn’t necessarily a valid reason to cheat on your fiancé.


All that ‘forever in love’ bullshit disappeared before my eyes and now I sit in the living room with this gorgeous gift in my arms, snoring lightly with his head tucked into my neck. I couldn’t help but smile at him; his soft cheeks, large eyes, cute nose. The way his hands turned to fists then spread out against my chest to latch onto me. I’m sure if I wasn’t holding on tight enough, he’d be able to hold himself up.

He was all I had.

In this crappy world, nobody helped me and after everything I’d done in my past, it was all catching up with me like a big ass truck. I didn’t realize I closed my eyes when I heard the garbage men outside bang the trash cans around which startled me and the little one. He looked up with glossy eyes, his mouth contorting before I have him a quick kiss there and softly stroked his cheek and the back of his neck, those two places that I know put him at ease. His 'crying mouth’ changed to a small gummy grin as he resumed his place on my neck.

I need to find a baby sitter, I thought to myself, laughing at how desperate I was to start school and work. Everything had fallen back on me and I’m not just talking about socially. Bills had to be paid, food had to be bought, and the land lord said if I don’t clean up my act, he’d have to kick me out. He knew my situation, but to save his job, he had to follow the rules and give me two months to get my shit together or else me and little y/s/n could be out on the road.

Standing up slowly, I strolled over to the edge of the couch where my laptop lay neatly folded. I sighed, then picked up the device and set it in my lap. All the while, the young child crawled off me and was now rolling around on the couch with only his giggles evident. I smiled at him as he flashed his gummy teeth again. Four years old, that boy yet he was full of so much life. I was sure he had his whole life planned already. Both his father and I were intelligent, young, responsible yet carefree and a bit reckless. We were known as the peace couple, nothing too crazy and nothing too boring in our relationship. My eyes watered at the thought and I wiped a single tear. The young boy crawled over to me.

“Eomma,” he whispered, then without saying anything else, he threw his arms around me and hugged my neck before placing his lips to my cheek and offering up a wet kiss. I smiled softly and tears continued to move out my eyes as I grabbed his face in my hands.

“If only he could see you.” I whispered, not daring to say 'your father’ or his actual name because quite frankly, he wasn’t a father. He never was.

I resumed my position at the laptop, going to the only trustworthy cite where they have the best baby sitters in the city. They asked for unnecessary questions like the gender of the baby, what it eats, what it likes, bed time, food time, what keeps them entertained. From there, they listed a bunch of female babysitters who should be perfect for my little one. But as I scrolled down the list, I noticed there was only one male baby sitter suitable for y/s/n. Intrigued, I clicked on it and viewed his profile:

Name: Kim Taehyung
Height: 178cm
Age: 22
Hobbies: drawing (even though I’m awful), singing(again, not the best), cooking (don’t let me cook) playing with kids (obviously), going on walks.
Interests: kids, hugging, laughing, aegyo (aigoo), little things.
Why you should hire me: I’ve always loved kids and although I’m very young and maybe not as experienced as others, I promise to keep your child safe at all times. I wouldn’t ever do anything to make you question my services and would most certainly keep your child out of danger by distracting them with whatever food, games, or hobbies they enjoy doing on a daily basis. Plus, I’m awesome!

This guy seems alright, I thought. Besides it’d be nice to have a male figure in his life even if it is just a baby sitter. I clicked on a small link and revealed his profile picture and social media accounts. Woah, was this guy attractive. I stared at the screen, his large smile capturing my eye. Jesus, his page was just him and a bunch of kids, a few group pictures of him and about six other boys. He seemed too good to be true but he was the only one I could find so I took the risk and dialed the phone.

A few moments passed by and the phone was answered. I felt my heart stop as soon as I heard his gruff voice through the phone.

“Kim Taehyung babysitting, this is Tae.” He answered in a cheerful voice. For some reason, I grew nervous at the sound of his voice and just stared at y/s/n as he played with his toys, oblivious to the world around him. If only I could be like that.

“Hi, I’m y/n, y/n y/l/n. I saw you on a baby sitting website. I’m not exactly sure what I’m supposed to do,” I laughed awkwardly and wiped sweat off my forehead. “But, um I need a–uh,” shit, why can’t I talk!

“Do you need me to baby sit?” He giggled through the phone and I felt almost as if he were right next to me speaking so gently in that rough voice. I nodded but I knew he couldn’t see me so I cleared my throat.

“Yes.” Yes, really? Yes? You could’ve said something over than just yes. I mentally yelled at myself as I heard something creek behind the phone. Possibly his bed? He sat up and stretched.

“Yeah, yeah of course! I haven’t gotten a job in a while so I may be a little rusty. Before I become an official baby sitter,” his bones cracked as he stood from the bed and rummaged through his clothes. “We need to set a consultation. Maybe tomorrow?” I froze.

“Tomorrow? I have to meet with my counselor sat school.”

“What time?”

“1:30.” I looked at the boy who still played.

“Perfect. I could swing by tomorrow morning, have a little meet up, and I’d take him in until you’re done with your counseling. Unless you don’t like me.” He grinned and big his lip, closing his eyes before opening them to hear me talk.

“Are you sure? I live, like 30 minutes away from the school so I’ll be up pretty early and he gets a little cranky in the mornings.”

“It’s really no big deal, Ms. Y/l/n.” He walked to the bathroom and messed around with his hair before returning to his bed. “I’ve had mothers call me at 4 am for a quick baby sitting job. I’m up for it.” He was oddly cheerful and I knew I wouldn’t win at this. Defeated, I gave in and shrunk in my own skin.

“Please, just call me y/n. I’ll see you tomorrow at what time? I leave around 12 in order to get there on time.” He made a few noises and clicked his tongue.

“How about I swing by 10 for a quick meeting then let you on your way? Is that okay?” I thought for a minute and kept my eyes glued to y/s/n, intrigued by whatever it was he entertained himself with.

“That’s perfect.” I smiled.

“10am tomorrow, then. Ah, I’m excited.”

“I’ll let you know everything tomorrow. Thank you so much, Taehyung. I owe you one.” I sighed in relief as the young boy wobbled over to me and collapsed into my arms.“"It’s the yeast I could do, Ms– I mean, y/n.” He grinned behind his phone and closed his eyes. Tae was excited and I could hear it in his voice, see it almost. I nodded, knowing he couldn’t see but I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
fire trucks and ice cream trucks

All right, so imagine that when every baby is born, they’re given one of two vehicles - either an ice cream truck or a fire truck. this vehicle is more than just a job or a mode of transportation, it’s your whole identity. and there are only those two choices. everyone is either a fire truck or an ice cream truck.

there’s a lot of diversity within those two options. there are big, i mean REALLY BIG fire trucks, like the size of semis, and then there are smaller, more maneuverable ones, just municipal level SUVs. and there are really nice deluxe ice cream trucks and there are more modest ones that are basically minivans with a menu painted on the side. but again - you’re either an ice cream truck or a fire truck.

except, y know, this doesn’t work for everyone. there are people driving around in fire trucks who just know deep down they are supposed to be in an ice cream truck, and vice versa. there are people who get up every day and drive around in their ice cream trucks, getting sick to death of the ice cream truck song, wishing they could be tearing down a street to put out a fire or rescue a kitten stuck in a tree. and there are people in their fire trucks, gazing wistfully at the ice cream trucks, and the crowds of smiling people enjoying their ice cream.

so, it’s possible to switch vehicles. it takes a lot of time, and a lot of advanced mechanics, but it can be done. if you’re really persistent and patient, you can find a mechanic who will convert your fire truck into an ice cream truck, or vice versa. science, y'all. it’s amazing.

ok but then, there are some people like me. i’m in an ice cream truck, but i’m not that enthusiastic about doing ice cream truck stuff. at the same time, i know for sure i’m not supposed to be in a fire truck. nothing against fire trucks! some of my best friends are fire trucks. i just know that’s not me. and as you might have figured out, there are people in fire trucks who don’t want to be converted into an ice cream truck but they’re not really comfortable with where they are, either.

people deal with this in a variety of ways. some people cobble together a little bit of what they like from the truck they were assigned with the other model. so you get ice cream trucks with REALLY GODDAMN LOUD sirens instead of cute little jingly songs. and you have fire trucks that spray soft serve instead of water. it’s pretty rad. people are so creative and inventive.

me personally, i’m sticking with the ice cream truck i was given, i’m just stripping some of the paint off. i really don’t need the whole world knowing what’s on my menu. i’m sick of the jingly little song but i’m not wild about sirens either. i don’t know. sometimes i feel really boring and bland but then i remember that it’s taken me a really long time to figure all this out and you know what, i kind of like my weird blank slate truck. sure some people will always think i’m an ice cream truck but whatever. eventually they’ll learn.

here’s to everyone out there who’s figuring out what to do with the trucks they were assigned.

I'm not really a fitblr (blog disclaimer)

I have had a rash of people following me and unfollowing me fairly quickly, and the pattern is either I post a lot of workout/fitblr posts, or one of my awesome fit friends promos me, a bunch of fitblrs follow me. Then I post something not fitness related and well, there they go…so I thought it was time to put up a permanent disclaimer. 

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/late wweseattle fanaccount

so i never really posted a fan account or anything from the house show i went to when i met dean back in march but i’ve been thinking about it a lot lately since they’re coming back in august heh /long post incoming including feelings.

so wwe in seattle right, dean drives in in this big ass truck and i was like frozen immediately just knowing that he was right there and like the thought of meeting him. my brother starts a “we want dean” chant (literally it was so funny because in the middle of the chant he goes “lets gooo i started that”) and then dean starts walking over to where all the fans are standing around and again i cannot believe it i just look at him walking

dean comes over and starts taking pictures with everybody and i was afraid i wouldn’t get one so you know hence my selfie of dean’s selfie with fortune.

then he starts signing things, so dean’s like leaned over signing everything that people put under his nose and i finally squeeze in and get the chance to give my sign to him. all the other signs around were mostly like his “dean unstable ambrose” logo and whatnot so he could look at those quickly because he already knew what it was ja feel. i had brought my “dean, sing sweet caroline” sign that day and when he was signing it, he paused and i watched him move his head around to read it and look at the tiny text by the pictures that indicated caroline, dat me, and drawing of him dancing, dis u, he looks up at me and we lock eyes and he gives me a wink aND I CRIED

also remember that pic where dean is signing the little boys tshirt with the blue sharpie, that happened literally right next to me right after he signed my poster lol

so after he signed my poster, i was still too shaken to move quick enough into a selfie and i was like fffffff. so i walk around the crowd and try to find a good time to just jump in, but then he’s taking pictures with this little kid and i hear him say “you’re my last one buddy” and in my head i’m like “oh no i can’t ask for a picture now because he’ll just say no and walk quickly away”. so then i was like fuk it, ima do it. i’m standing right in his pathway like two steps away and he turns around and i just walk into him with a hug and he goes “ *oof* oh, okay heh” and then he says “alright i really gotta go, i’m running late” and throws the sharpie into the crowd before going back through the gates.

lemme talk about the hug okay, he is so tall and he is so warm and my head touched his chest and my hands touched his back and he was dorito af. i said that out loud and these two older ladies asked me what it meant and i explained it to them and they were like truuuu. the only reason why i did not get an actual picture of the hug (WHICH I’M STILL SAD ABOUT) was because my brother was using this canon cam that he didn’t really know how to use yet instead of his phone + he didn’t shoot quick enough and that’s how we ended up with this

lowkey gonna print that and have him sign it one day. “this is a picture from when i hugged you and cried tru story”

but yeah, it was such a surreal moment and sometimes i still don’t believe it because it all happened so quick. that day really made my entire winter worth it for me, because from college and everything my winter quarter had me so horribly stressed and honestly the most down i had ever felt, but meeting dean made me feel like all this shit that happened to me was leading me to this moment and it made it all worth it.