i like all of these but the one for white ugh


palmetto state foxes →  the upperclassmen

4 am confessions.

Min Yoongi; your overthinking boyfriend. 

Night air surrounded the early morning, light peeking from the curtains, shadows playing tricks on walls, white sheets mustered messily on the mattress, and two people so terribly engulfed in the shine of each other’s eyes.

The woman slept soundly, hugging a body pillow, bare naked, breathing evenly as her legs tangled possessively around the cotton. Her beautiful, smooth skin was painted with purple and blue, patches of rough love showing proudly as if they were her own trophies.

The man was sitting up, back facing her and his feet touching the cold wood, fingers cascading through his ruffled strands as his ribs rattled with shaky breaths. His face was contorted with thought, polished with a lovely pink and dark circles of sleep deprivation. Had he slept a wink, he did not know.

But he sat there with his lovely, pale skin, contemplating about something one would think silly to do so, but still he thought.

And then, he rubbed his face in utter frustration, slapping his cheeks as if to ready himself, and then faced you, hands lingering above your rising back. And he spoke quietly, carefully, but oh so lovingly.


His breath tingled your cheek, his raspy voice tainted with early morning haze automatically made you smile. You stirred from your slumber slowly, fingers readily reaching for his that were gently touching your skin. Your eyes cracked open when you mustered enough energy to do so, lazily staying still and breathing for a few seconds before rising, blanket covering your body strategically.

He waited in adoration as you closed your eyes again, sitting there with your head down and your hair splaying all over your face. You rubbed your face whilst sighing, curling your legs before moving your head side-to-side, the cracking sounds of your bones filling the air.

And then you faced him with a smile, momentarily adjusting your eyes to the sight of him sitting there in front of you, bare chested and smiling thinly, hands curled and expression taut.

You gave him a questioning look before reaching to unravel his fingers, slipping yours into his comfortably before your voice, a ringing fairy bell, pulled him back into earth, away from the clouds of his wandering mind.

“What’s wrong?”

Granted, it wasn’t perfect. Your voice was a bit raspy but Yoongi loved every pitch, tone, accent your throat had devoted itself to making. Because ultimately it was yours.

He trembled at your touch, trying to breathe as evenly as he could, staring at your knuckles and playing with your joints.

“So I’ve been thinking,”

You gave a little whisper of oh no, automatically making him chuckle and you quickly delivering a grin. “Go on.”

He cleared his throat, licking his lips tentatively before rushing up to face you.

“I love you.”

Your eyebrows knitted in confusion, silence stretching out longer than Yoongi had hoped for.

“That’s,” You started out slowly, still a little taken aback, “That’s great, Yoongi, but why tell me at… four in the morning?”

You wanted to laugh at the absurdity of this man, but you could tell he had spent time going over this in his head, again and again and again.

“No, no, no,” He rushed, shaking his head as his eyes widened, “I love you.”

He had gotten closer to you, stressing this fact, holding onto you with heightened strength. And you stared back, mouth slightly agape and eyes blinking in surprise before your lips cracked into a lovely smile. You slipped your hands slowly to shape his face, thumb rubbing over his cheeks with soft care, moving his fringe from his eyes that had watered down its intensity.

“What exactly were you thinking about, hm?” You hummed softly, moving to tap your forehead to his.

He breathed refreshingly, closing his eyes momentarily as you went to slide onto his lap, kissing the crown of his head as you stroked his noir strands.

“I was thinking about how,” He inhaled, fluttering his eyelashes against your skin, “How beautiful you are.”

You pulled back to give him an amused smile, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I thought about how, the expanse of your skin is the only place I find comfort in.” He said this before kissing your neck, a slow, adoring peck.

“I thought about how kind you are to me, how supportive and encouraging you’ve always been, even on the nights I don’t come home.” He whispered sadly, mindlessly messing with a strand of your hair.

“You’re understanding, and caring, and even though sometimes you throw a fit, you admit the wrongdoings you’ve done. You’re a good person, a lovely one, someone who has easily become such an important part of my life, I…can’t explain how much you truly mean to me.”

You sat there in silence, gazing at his lips that uttered poetry, before kissing him sweetly.

You didn’t understand why he was praising you so highly, but it didn’t hurt to hear once in a while. Your heart had done cartwheels and your mind exploded with fireworks. Yoongi was never one to openly express how he felt, so when he began with a love confession, even as you were filled with confusion, you fell in love with him all over again.

He returned the kiss softly, touching the small of your back to move you in closer before breaking it, the faint sound of your lips separating made his heart ache, because even then he had already missed it. You gave him an amorous smile, giggling before kissing his nose.

“Yoongi,” You began, raking your fingers through his tresses, “I love you too.”

He sighed, it being filled with so much pure ecstasy and infatuation, you couldn’t explain the amount.

Yoongi sat there regrettably as you kissed him again, arms wrapped around his pale body, that wasn’t shaking with anxiety, but with adoration and admiration.

He regretted not being able to tell you how your eyes resembled gems in the sky, twinkling always. How your skin was never cold, how your hair always smelled like morning dew, how the way you sang in the shower always reminded him of joyous children, how the way you loved was so sincere and affectionate he would never get tired of it.

He regretted not being able to tell you how your texts still give him butterflies, how your tears (though rare) always rained down on him with piles of guilt, because such an angel as you need not to cry, need not to feel sad.

But he can tell you all of this soon, and he will, but maybe next time, a ring will be hidden in a bouquet of roses along with the future of what’s to come.

Can we please stop making everything political? Ugh

The disappointment isn’t because a “straight white cis man” died, people are frustrated because a smart, generous, intriguing character that had a lot going on in his life and was in one of the few healthy romantic relationships on TV was killed off. Not to mention the great co-parenting dynamic he had with Jane and Rafael. How often do you get to see that? A happy, healthy, loyal, supportive, communicative couple who are extremely open and honest with each other, always make decisions together, work their problems out quickly and calmly without letting it become a time bomb, and, that, no matter what, are still completely in love with one another?

I think the only other time I had the privilege of seeing this kind of relationship happening was on F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I’ve personally only seen this kind of couple twice and one of them was thrown away with all of its potential like it was nothing. This is hurtful, no matter if it were warned or not, because they didn’t write Michael to be a character the public would like to see dying. They wrote him to be a character that would raise people’s interest to see him as an individual, professional, husband, stepfather, son-in-law.

Yes, if he were a person of color, or if it had been one of Jane’s relatives, it would’ve been worse because of representation and the importance of the Villanueva family. However, even if Michael weren’t her biological family, he was her family, the one she chose to be her family. I won’t try to compare or hierarchize Jane’s relationships, but Mateo, the Villanuevas, Rogelio and Michael are the most important people to her. It will still be heartbreaking to see her grieve the one and only person she wished to spend the rest of her life with and lose part of her innocence and hope because of it. And I am not even sure if they will respectfully cover her grief because currently the show has skipped three years, but on that little clip you could see she simply wasn’t the same anymore.

And if people want to quit the show because of that, they have the right to. Stop telling them not to do this, because they’re allowed to react and decide. It is not because a “straight white cis man” died, it is because a good character with a lot of potential was wasted and taken away from us in the most disgusting aspects. If it had been characters like Anezka, Scott, Magda or Rose, people may would’ve felt sad and that their potential was wasted, but they are still minor characters and some of them have killed/abused people, so it wouldn’t have been as hurtful as seeing someone who was just doing the best for himself and his family to be simply killed off. I’ve seen the same happen to great people of color and/or women before and I felt the same way, maybe worse and I also dropped those shows. And I’m pretty sure most of the fandom feels the same way, because most of us are women of color who got interested in it because of its creativity, representation and positivity. Probably people who’d been let down by other tv shows and were happy to finally see an apparently intriguing and light-hearted comedy. However, it ended up repeating one of the cheapest and most unnecessary tv tropes (along with annoying repetitions and total negligence of women and queer women like Petra and Luisa and underdevelopment of important issues such as post-partum depression, PTSD, alcoholism and psychological treatment, not to mention more). Michael’s death may not even be the only reason to drop the show, just the decisive one since they will never be able to repair this.

And please, stop comparing this to villadero fans criticizing jafael shippers for saying they’d stop watching if the couple didn’t get back together. A ship not happening and a character DYING are two different things. People kept watching the show despite their hopes on season 1 and season 2 because Michael was still there, he was still used as a detective and friend and people were willing to still support it because as much as they loved villadero, they loved him as an individual first. These are two completely separate things.

Anyway, I’m currently willing to give one chance to the next episode because I love the cast with all my heart and want to support them, but I’m not enthusiastic and am likely to drop it right afterwards. So I’m looking for new stuff to watch instead of it, hopefully with as good/better representation than Jane The Virgin. I still haven’t made a decision, but if you’re looking for names to try out, there are The Fosters, Superstore and Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

I’m not caught up with The Fosters, but besides one annoying relationship, the episodes I’ve seen were amazing and explored countless important issues in one season: homophobia, racism, sexism, work ethic, domestic violence, immigration, addiction and many more. It has an interracial lesbian couple starring the show, alongside a gay and two Hispanic teenagers. Two of its recurring roles are some of the few transgender people on television.

Superstore has a great cast with a Honduran American woman, a paraplegic  African American man, a gay Filipino man and a Japanese American woman. It mentions some important problems, although it does have some problematic lines. Due to the tone of them, I am not entirely sure if they are satirical or not (the show itself is extremely satirical, by the way), so you may watch it and make your own opinion.

I have only watched two Brooklyn Nine-Nine episodes, but it’s filled with Hispanic, African American (including a gay African American man) men and women in positions of power and is a light-hearted sitcom according to what I’ve read.

Anyway, just be sensitive to the people’s feelings even if you don’t share them. And if anyone would like to add something and/or exchange recommendations, feel free to do so. :)

Gotta share what happened at Walmart today.

My mom is 64 and looks about 40. She’s the most stylish person in town and I mean that extremely literally. Today she wore a white lace dress with crocheted tights, knee boots, and a pink denim jacket. And she’s skinny and wears a long blonde wig. Yeah. She makes me step up my look whenever we go out because I don’t want to look like her DUFF.

Anyway, we were at Walmart and as we were buying kitty litter, we passed two ladies about my age or a little younger, wearing some comfy sweats. One of them sees my mom and says “Oh, I just love your look!” and the second girl says “Right? I was just thinking ‘she looks so good, I hate her so much!’“ And all four of us cracked up, because that’s like the highest girl compliment ever if someone is all ‘ugh, I hate you cuz you look so good!’ LOL

It really made my mom’s day, she’s never had anyone give her that compliment before. I like to share these moments because I try to encourage everyone to say the nice things you think in your head out loud.

anonymous asked:

Ok... so I don't believe Mon-hell said that the fact Kara was supergirl and she doesn't run away from anything (being the badass feminist from s1 that she is) is "ONE OF THE (like there is several) most annoying things about her" and people are talking about how cute he's bc made her bacon???????????? What is wrong with the Karahell shippers? How can they not see it? Ugh I hate s2 of this show

white boys get away with saying the dumbest shit i swear to god i apologise to all of you for our existence

kara danvers has more chemistry with that fucking bacon than she does with monfuck

All-New X-Men (2015) #17  Finally the pic we were waiting for. The fight between these two powerful teams. Isn’t it wonderful that we can see in the first IVX issue where the X-men seem to be taking over and it seems like the X-men ain’t taking no crap from the Inhumans. Actually, that’s not really my concern. My concern is this…

Allow me to delineate my thoughts GOD I hate Storm’s costume, UGH. Storm looked like one of those old cheap shiny plastic black and white table cloths. Anyway, I was hoping for Marvel to have Storm facing the Queen, but I guess Marvel ain’t that stupid. How smart and unexpected of Marvel to put 2 weather manipulators in combat. The sister to Queen Medusa, and distant cousin to Black Bolt, Crystal is another prominent Inhuman and princess within their society. You gotta ask yourself “is Crystal blocking Storm’s lightning with fire?” One is a mutant who controls the weather and the other one is an Inhuman who can control all four elements, YIKES. Lightning don’t do a thing to Crystal as she somehow stopped Storms lightening from connecting with Gorgon.

And yes, I see it, I’m not blind, Crystal demolished Storm’s lightning (Just like you see in the first page). Don’t give me that crap of “Crystal did not stop anything from Storm.” because that would make you in denial. I know, I’ve been there myself until Marvel started undermining and segregating Storm. It went to a point where I couldn’t deny everything. I don’t think Storm could’ve gone solo with Crystal when Black Panther (I hate this guy and the day Marvel dragged Storm into his book) interfered or helped Storm in this battle. Crystal went all berserk with her elemental power. She’s creating this massive winds with sands through fire. This is some crazy shit.

Her Terrigen-based powers have given her a WIDE RANGE of abilities. Initially, she had mastery over the four classical elements of Fire, Water, Wind, and Earth, the four elements of nature. Whereas Storm can only manipulate weather, UGH. As time has gone on, she has shown herself to be capable of manipulating the weather in ways similar to the X-Man, Storm. She can also create, and manipulate electricity, in part, due to her ability to manipulate the atoms in the atmosphere, as well as most metals.

She can generate, or even halt, earthquakes. Her geokinetic powers are almost without limit and match one imbued with the Sakarran Old-Power. She possesses strong links to the Earth. Not only our planet, but also the entire universe is formed from material particles in the act of Elements. This is enough to put me in a state of alarm that in this battle we will face for the first time what these Inhumans are really capable of. Specifically Crystal who is close enough to storm due to similar powers. In my mind I’m screaming like “Marvel’s attempts to replace Storm.” Marvel is trying to screw Storm over and making her seem less valuable (and I’m going to pretend that Warbird doesn’t even exist). You have to remember that Storm is being written as incompetent in Extraordinary X-Men so there’s that too.

Edit: Last time I checked, her abilities were still the same except they are now greater. It doesn’t seem Charles Soule nerfed Crystal’s abilities.

I don’t think any of us want to know what it means to be Inhuman. Thanks Crystal, but I’ve seen enough. No need to show off.

first thoughts:

I haven’t watched much video (like only one minute or something because I just got home from work) but that tiny Water is cute and I am now calling him Squirrel Ghoul.

I am not liking the new Fire & Aether using Gibson RDs. That was Martin’s thing and I feel like those should not be a Ghost “brand” thing, but I guess they have a Gibson endorsement so meeehhhhh. On the other hand, RDs are so fucking beautiful and that black one has white binding like OMG so pretty! 

Not sure how to feel about TF right now. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but damn. All of this makes me feel kind of uneasy and sad. I want people to be friends. I don’t want him to turn out to be a dick. I keep reminding myself that he is very nice to cats, children, and his fans. Maybe he’s just a dick to work with? Ugh. :( Also, I just can’t bring myself to dislike him, because he seems like he might be a damaged person (it takes one to know one). His super ambition may be coming from kind of a dark place, which is something I can’t relate to, but can understand and empathize with. Just going by interviews, I think he was raised by wolves. Which I very much DO relate to. 

I’m happy to support new ghouls, though. They’re just doing their jobs. Maybe this is just a terrible growing pains sort of period for the band and it will all work itself out in the end. I love this band a lot. <3 I am sad and miss the other people, though. I’m glad I met Alpha & Air. 

Aaaand while all of this plays out, I will continue to sit over here in my corner and play Sway by MCC over and over like a goofy little kid and pretend that everything is ok! 

PS Also I hope that the people who have my Papa paper dolls don’t decide to burn them in a huff. That would make me very sad. 

Can you believe that there are some people who honestly believe that the army of grounder’s were actually a peaceful army. Like… let that set in.

today iny my first lecture this morning this group of girls behind me were on tinder the entire duration of the lecture one of them kept saying ‘ugly, bye’ and each time she came across a dude she was into for whatever reason she mentioned it too like ‘oh he snowboards he could teach me!’ and ‘wow look how fit this guy is he’s a personal trainer’ and i was kinda ignoring her bc like whatever have fun right but then she let out the biggest groan and said ‘ew well that’s all the white guys’ and stopped swiping like i looked behind and honestly she really could not be picky about who she was fucking swiping for on tinder like not to be ugly myself but what a fucking cunt honestly… ugh i can’t believe there’s people like that anyway my friend who was really upset this morning had enough and yelled at her to shut the fuck up or leave the lecture and i was so happy that she did that but also really annoyed at myself that i didn’t say anything to her myself??

so today i went to a talk sorta cause i was interested in one of the speakers but also because a friend organized and i wanted to show support. but i sat in the very back so i could do work if it was a bit dull. it was, so i did. then, more than halfway through the talks, this old white british lady starts scolding me for being on my computer, talking about how disrespectful it was. like, first of all you are the one talking while the speaker is talking, in an only-sort-of whisper?! also there is no one behind me and the speakers cant see me so like literally WHO am i hurting? this is not a class and you are not my parent or my teacher. UGH

lgbt+ isn’t better than straight, poc isn’t better than white, jewish/muslim/anything else isn’t better than christian, trans isn’t better than cis, female isn’t better than male.

crazy concept to consider: no one demographic or group is inherently better than anyone else. we are all people and constantly seeing people saying boys are stupid or straight people are disgusting makes me kind of want to throw up.

can’t we please all drop it and just accept that no superiority complex is gonna fix things? and yeah, i might sound like some entitled brat right now (even though I am not straight, not christian, and not male), and i’m not saying you shouldn’t be proud of your race or gender or sexuality or what have you.

just don’t make it out to be better. better is what got us here in the first place. no one is better than anyone else. we’re all people. it’s that easy.

Am I the only one that reads sambucky/Samsteve fic and get that feeling that it’s always the writer’s love for Bucky bleeding through Sam?

Don’t get me wrong, I like Bucky I do, but I feel like all the fics are about how amazing, and funny, good looking and smart Bucky Barnes is, and how Sam never ever had a chance of resisting it, and understanding it all. How Steve is amazing and bright and holds the whole world on his shoulder, blá blá blá.

Just once, just THIS fucking once I want to read a fic about how amazing Samuel Thomas Wilson is.

How good looking, and caring, smart and funny he is, how even tho he doesn’t have white boy’s hair, his hair is well kept and soft, how he smells nice, how his cheekbones are sharp because hell they are. How capable of fighting he is, because he is the guy who took a knife to a gun fight.

He’s a guy capable enough to hold Captain America’s shield; strong enough to question his authority becase he doesn’t follow blindly; smart enough to point out the best tatical way of dealing with the enemy; human enough to see more than the all american hero, to see the men behind the shield. Badass enough to deadpan and snark a king and well trainned assassin.

For once just this once I would love to read Bucky or Steve talking about how important and amazing Sam is, and not the other way around. See them apologizing and swallowing their feelings, see them blushing and stammering because Sam outshines the Sun itself.

See the writers understand that yes you write for yourself, for free but if you share it you also want us to like, and writing for a interracial ship, maybe just maybe it’s important for the people of color who read it feel like the character of color is getting the love he sure as fucking hell deserves.

No Excuse for failure - A RWBY Short

(The following is based on a “What if” moment I had wondering what would become of Tyrian if he failed Salem one more time? What punishment would he face? What does that little Seer thingy do? Time to get creative…)

His cries echoed from the dungeon below. With a sigh, I stood. “Excuse me…I have something that requires my attention..”. Cinder’s team, along with a small squad of White Fang soldiers all nodded in quiet agreement. They knew where I was going.

With a guiding, yet slow hand movement I brought my Seer with me, it’s ominous glow accompanying me downstairs. Inside the dungeon laid Tyrian, sobbing like a baby. Upon noticing me, he began to grovel and beg, swearing he wouldn’t let me down again. I promptly interrupted him with a slap.

“There is not going to BE a next time.”, I said with an intentionally vicious tone. I signalled the Seer with a point of my finger. “Make him suffer.”, I commanded. With very little delay, it floated towards the cowering Faunus, it’s tentacles extending and pinning him to the ground. With a hiss, it began to glow a luminous orange, rendering Tyrian blind. He screamed and screamed…at least until another tentacle slashed at his throat.

Coughing on his own blood, Tyrian began to give in to the Seer. But it wasn’t finished. “Don’t be afraid the play rough…”, I told the Seer as I made my way to the stairs.

Tyrian Callow’s husk of a corpse let out one final gurgle of pain as I left to rejoin my associates. So too did the Seer after a few minutes, the blood dripping from it’s small yet intimidating body serving as a warning. Sure enough, this was the last I, or anyone would ever see of him.

“Now…where were we..?”

Get To Know Me

Tagged by the lovely @kcsplace (which I had a mini freak out that one of my favorite fic authors actually knew who I was)

Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 followers you would like to get to know better.

Name: Candy

Nicknames: Well, Candy is my nickname, but it’s what I go by.  I also go by Mom

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Height: 5′ 6”

Orientation: Somewhere between pan and bi, not too sure

Ethnicity:  White

Favorite Fruit: Apples and strawberries

Favorite season: Fall.  I love it when after a long hot (ugh, sweaty) summer there is the first crisp fall day

Favorite flower: Astromerias or impatients

Favorite Scent: Citrus

Favorite color(s): Purple and blue

Favorite animal: Cats, dogs, birds

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: oh all.  I have coffee every morning and tea every afternoon.  But sometimes you just need a nice cup of hot cocoa.

Average sleep hours: I usually get about 8, but I do better with 9.

Cat or Dog person: I guess I’m more of a cat person.  I love dogs, but I don’t love the amount of needs they have.  Right now, they’re just too much work for me.  I have two cats and I love them dearly.  They’re quirky and easy going.

Favorite fictional character: Geez, I can only pick one?  Uh, let’s just go with Bucky Barnes, with a close second to many, many others

Number of blankets you sleep with: 1 blanket and 1 down comforter

Ideal Trip: I’d love to go so many places, so let’s just say I’d love to go on a year long trip around the world.

Blog Created:  2012? God, have I really been here for 5 years???

Tagging: OMG I don’t think I can tag 20 people @kiriei  @dek-says-so  @leveragehunters @themcgeek @bunnymaccool @kitachan21 @furious-imperator @magic-ramen

anonymous asked:

Ugh I'm sorry if this seems like I'm trying to start drama but. "I’d rather be a ‘she’ than someone with neon puce hair who’s convinced that Dr. Who is at all revolutionary media." Come on, that is really not cool. I agree with you that oppression specifically against nb people isn't a thing, but how does that make it okay to mock them?

the point was (i mean from my interpretation) about the overwhellming and alienating white/transmasc slant that the nb community has. no one’s mocking nonbinary people, it was a joke about a specific subset of nonbinary people who dominate the community and discourse.

I know we laugh at Suburban Mom memes from Facebook all the time, but am I the only one that finds them kind of disturbing?

Like imagine you get married because you love that man so much you want to spend the rest of your life with him. And after that, all you ever want is to start a family. You get pregnant and regard your first baby as a little miracle and the light of your life. And then like 5-7 years later, you’re all “UGH my kids and my husband are soooo annoying i can’t stand them i need to drown myself in 500 gallons of WINE.”

Just like how do these women go from seeing their families as their number one, the best things that ever happened to them, to seeing them as daily obstacles that’s she’s obligated to stick with and then go on Facebook to complain about them?


Janeway x Coffee, Season 5

I didn’t know there was a picture limit for photosets until now!! I’ve never tried to put more than ten pictures in one set. Ugh.

This was a good season for coffee.

Sorry for the long post, but coffee spam is okay, isn’t it? I like doing this.

anonymous asked:

re: the Netflix Death Note garbage. It's even worse that they made L a black man. I mean seriously, no one wants to see a white serial killer with a god complex fake a friendship with a black man for the sole purpose of killing him. It's so socially ignorant.

I haven’t heard much pastthe white washing, I didn’t know that L will be black

It’s really such a mess, they’re Japanese characters, with Japanese names, living in Japan, in a Japanese story. They should be casting mainly if not all, Japanese actors. And the criticism that “there’s already a Japanese live action film for it” I’ve heard makes no sense. Things get remade all the time, and a more American version doesn’t have to mean changing the race of the characters. Like, ugh.

I used to be really into Death Note, and I like a lot of the content Netflix’s made. If this was being done right, I’d be kind of excited about it

White Lilies

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Guardian Angel AU

Character: Jimin x Reader

Word Count: 10,926

A/N: Hello! So I was finally able to finish the story! I really hope you guys like it, and I’m so sorry for taking so long to finish it. It’s a little different from what I usually write, but I really hope you all enjoy it! Thank you so much for waiting so patiently! You guys are the best! ♥

- Admin Snow

Check out our Masterlist for more! ♥

“You know, you’re gorgeous.”

Yeah. She is.

“Thank you.”

Ugh, stop blushing like that. You’ll encourage him.

“I was wondering if you were doing anything tonight. If not we could catch a movie, I’ve heard that new thriller is pretty good.”

First of all, she hates scary movies. Second of all, hell no.

“Sure, sounds like fun.”

Ha! Not on my watch.

The sun was blazing, not a single cloud in the sky. The sidewalks weren’t as crowded as they usually are on Friday afternoons, but I guess that’s always a good thing. I watched as she giggled and subconsciously covered her shining smile with one of her small hands that wasn’t preoccupied with a shopping bag, one of her many cute habits. That idiot human boy wasn’t deserving enough to be so graciously granted with her smile. I felt my eyes roll as he told her how pretty she was for the thousandth time in the past five minutes.

“So, could I have your number?”

There’s my cue.

Looking around for the perfect catalyst I spotted the best subject possible, who just so happened to be drooling all over a bone as his owner chatted on the phone, clearly preoccupied.

Here, puppy! Hey, over here!

Puppy might have been an understatement. The German shepherd was clearly already an adult, but that made no difference. He could still see me, and that’s all I needed. Just as I had called him, the dog’s ears perked up and his large brown eyes turned my way. I walked the few steps over to the human boy still flirting and trying to coax my human’s number from her, I made sure to stand right next to him, carefully positioning myself so that Y/N wouldn’t get caught in the cross fire.

Here boy! Come on!

I got down on one knee and opened my arms out wide. That was all it took for the big fella to get up and charge straight towards me, the red leash slipping right out from his distracted, and now panicked, owner’s hand.

Tongue hanging happily from his panting mouth, I watched as he hurried over. I carefully calculated my timing, standing and getting out of the way just as the dog was about to make contact with my chest. I smiled wickedly as I watched my plan unfold.

The dog merrily jumped onto the guy’s leg, mildly confused for a moment when he realized that it wasn’t me there but still happy nonetheless to be close to someone. He pawed at the guy’s thigh and barked playfully. In an instant the guy turned and with a grimace on his features kicked the dog away from him harshly with a ‘disgusting mutt’ added in to the attack.

The kick had the poor dog yelping and falling onto his side, my non-beating heart dropping at the sight.

That fucking prick. I almost took the step forward to punch him square in the jaw, but I stopped myself just as I saw Y/N push him hard enough to have him fumble to the ground and on to his ass.

“What the hell is your problem?!” The smile that had adorned her lips before had now disappeared and was completely overcome with a look of rage and disgust aimed straight at the boy.

“I-um-uh-” Y/N hurriedly went over to the German shepherd and coaxed him into her arms, petting him lovingly. The dog wagging his tail happily at the affection.

“What kind of person kicks a poor defenseless dog?” She shoots daggers over the dog’s furry ears as she spits another round of insults at him that made my smile widen with a sense of pride. The boy simply scrambles to his feet and hurries away, without my human’s number, mind you. I watch as he gets further and further away.

I waved at his retreating form from my new position next to Y/N, who was still rubbing the dog’s belly.

Bye! Don’t come again!

“Ugh! And then guess what he did!?” I sat in my usual place on top of the kitchen island as I watched Y/N pace back and forth furiously as she retold her roommate the happenings of this afternoon. “He kicked the poor dog! He kicked him, Robby!”

Robby gasped in pure unadulterated horror, mouth gaping as she paused in her mid-eating of a flaming hot potato chip.

I know!” Y/N let herself fall back into the couch, legs coming up to cross themselves, hands falling into her lap. “Why are the cute ones always the assholes?”

Hey! I resent that!

“Guys are just idiots. All of them.” Robby threw a potato chip into her mouth. “Kris might be my boyfriend but he’s still an idiot. You just have to find the right idiot for you.” Y/N laughed full heartedly at her bestfriend’s words.

“I know, one day I’ll find an idiot to call my very own.” Reaching over to Robby she reached into her bag of chips and stole a few, not going without a comment of ‘hey get your own, you fatass’. I watched them as they fought over the remote to see who would pick what to watch next. Robby ended up claiming the remote as hers after revealing her own afternoon story of falling down the stairs while trying to get to class.

“I was in a hurry! For some reason my alarm clock didn’t go off.” She explained as she channel surfed. “I swear if it wasn’t for the pans in the kitchen falling out of the cabinet I would have never woken up.” Y/N stopped in her secret mission of obtaining more chips to look at Robby.

“They fell out of the cabinet?” Robby shrugged her shoulders.

“Yeah, I guess last night when I was putting them away I didn’t really stack them as good as I thought I did. Oh well, worked in my favor anyway.”

Didn’t stack them good my ass. There was only one explanation for Robby’s makeshift alarm clock. I wonder where he is. With that in mind, I made my way out of the apartment giving one last look at Y/N making sure she was perfectly okay before I left.

I thought you’d be up here. The sky was the color of obsidian now. The absence of the stars and moon made it clear that clouds had secretly over taken the sky and claimed it as theirs for the night. Although there was no light his white feathered wings still seemed to shine. I quietly wondered if mine did the same. I took a seat next to him, looking over at the city.

I heard you played the role of an alarm clock today. I laughed at his deep groan of frustration.

I swear this girl can be nothing but trouble sometimes. He pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit I’m sure he picked up from Robby. She forgot to turn her alarm on and then no matter what I did she wouldn’t wake the fuck up! I had to go to the kitchen and fucking pull out some goddamned pots and pans and fucking smash them together to get her to wake up!

It was whenever he talked about Robby when I saw him the most animated. It was a refreshing change from his usual stoic exterior. He might always seem like such a cold person but it was obvious the girl had grown on him.

And then she has to go and fall down the fucking stairs too. I mean, I could have prevented that, but in all honesty that’s what she gets for being stupid. At least she’s still alive, right? I couldn’t help but laugh at his statement.

I swear you’re the worst guardian angel I know. He turned to glare at me.

You better not be comparing me to dumb and dumber. As the saying goes, speak of the devil and the devil shall appear. This time, quite ironically, the devil appeared in the form of two winged men.

Yah! Yoongi! Are you talking about us?! Taehyung called out as he stomped his way to us, quite childishly might I add.

I don’t know what you mean. Yoongi responded with a bored tone weaved into his words.

Calm down Tae, we don’t want a repeat of last time. Hoseok smiled as he placed a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder. The brown haired, rectangular smiled boy visibly relaxed, a fleeting look of panic crossed his features before he relaxed once more.

I rather not see Tae being flung over the side of the apartment complex again. This was back when Taehyung had just started out as a guardian angel and didn’t have a good grasp around using his wings. That had been a disaster.

I thought he knew how to fly. Yoongi spoke up monotonously, this gaze still directed towards the city. Taehyung snapped again, Yoongi’s words playing as a trigger and setting off the boy.

You knew that I couldn’t, you asshole! He cried, trying to fling himself at the blonde sitting on the ledge of the roof.

Anyway… I started, trying to get the brunette to settle down as Hobi held his arm. How was today?

Just as I hoped, Taehyung stopped glaring at Yoongi and the brightest smile took over his once tightly pressed lips.

It was great! Little Jae took his first steps today, by himself too! He still falls down here and there but he’s really been showing some progress. Taehyung explained excitedly. I have to keep a sharp eye out though. He’s a real troublemaker. Today he almost fell out of his crib! It’s a good thing he’s still a baby, I caught him before he could hit the floor.

Yoongi gave a disapproving grunt. That’s still risky. Try to stay away from as much physical contact with him as you can. You know very well that it’s against the rules. Don’t cross the line.

Taehyung only rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. I know that. I only did it because he’s still a baby and won’t remember it later. The brunette’s features softened. I didn’t want to see him get hurt. I am his guardian angel after all, it’s my job to keep him safe.

Hoseok slung an arm over Taehyung’s shoulders and smiled brightly at him. It’s okay Tae. We understand, you had good intentions behind it. Little Jae is safe and that’s all that matters.

Taehyung gave a bright smile and nodded. Definitely!

Turning back around to look out at all the dimly lit buildings and the near-empty streets below I began to think about Y/N. Unlike Taehyung, I hadn’t been Y/N’s guardian angel since she was a baby. I was assigned to her back when she was only 12. The details about her past guardian was never disclosed to me, whether she had one to begin with or not. All I knew was that once I had taken that bullet to the chest my new life began in what seemed to be a field of endless white lilies.

“What the fuck?” Spinning around, I tried to get a hold of my surroundings. Where am I? The sky above held the color of a crisp blue ocean while the white clouds painted across moved at a leisurely pace, the scenery was so peaceful. I looked all around, trying to find somewhere to go, but there was nothing to be seen besides all the lilies that covered the ground like a blanket of fresh snow.

“I’d watch what you say. You may be dead but cursing here won’t help your case, buddy.” I jumped at the voice and turned back around to be face to face with a silver haired guy dressed up in white slacks and button-up to match the white wings on his back.

“The hell? Who are you…or what are you?” The tall man rolled his eyes, almost like I had asked the question a million times before, but gave me an answer none the less.

“The name is Namjoon and I’m the angel who’s going to be judging you.” Judging me? Angel? What is this freak talking about? I watched him as he walked closer to me and examined me carefully, almost like he was trying to figure me out with just a glance.

“You had a tough life, huh? Born in a kill or be killed world.” Namjoon shook his head in pity. “Unfortunately we don’t take things like that in consideration when judging, a sin is a sin, no matter the reason. We can’t let you off the hook so easily. Even if it was for the sake of your brother.” I flinched at the self-proclaimed angel’s words, they had hit a bit too close for my liking.

“You don’t know anything.” I hissed at him between clenched teeth. Namjoon smiled, a bit tauntingly if anything.

“Oh but I do. Parents abandoning their children at such a young age, putting their own selfish needs before the safety of their own sons. Leaving them to fend for themselves in such a harsh environment. The first time you held a gun was at the age of 9.” Namjoon held up his hand, forming a gun with his fingers, pointing straight at my chest. “Your first kill was at age 10.” He fired his finger gun, making a clicking sound with his tongue. The smirk on his lips irked me to no end. The gesture gave me a sense of déjà vu to the last memory I could recall. Damn, I really am dead.

“Considering your situation, you lived a pretty long life. 21 years old? Too bad your little brother wasn’t as lucky.” I lurched at him, wanting nothing more than to feel the sickening crack of his jaw breaking beneath my knuckles, but he dodged and grasped my wrist before I made any contact.

“Watch yourself, kid. If you want a shot at seeing your brother again, that is.” I snatched my hand back and glared at him. Was he being serious?

Namjoon smiled, this smile being a bit different from the others he had given. This one held a more genuine feeling.

“Got your attention now, don’t I? Look, with all the people you’ve killed in your 21 years of life you’ve got yourself a one-way ticket to hell, buddy.” A slight pang of fear washed over me. Did that mean that I couldn’t see my brother? “But, you’re a special case, its people like you and the reasons you sin that you guys are given a second option.” I didn’t really know where he was going with this and I guess my confusion was written on my face.

“In other words, you have to earn your way into heaven.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked, not really knowing what he was asking me to do.

“Think of it as…community service.” I cringed. Those two words didn’t really make me want to jump with joy at the mention of them, having spent most of my living days doing just that. Namjoon sensed my displeasure and shrugged his shoulders before turning his back to me and starting to walk away. “I mean if you don’t want to, you don’t have to. We don’t force anyone into it, but I just thought you’d finally want to be reunited with your dear little brother. He’s been waiting for you for a while now, you know?”

“I’ll do anything! Name it!” It really has been too long. Namjoon stopped and looked over his shoulder at me.

“You sure?” I didn’t even have to think twice about it. Just the thought of seeing him again, smiling, laughing…alive, was enough.


“It’s not all that complicated.” He turned around to face me once more, that same know-it-all smirk playing at his lips. “All you have to do is become a guardian angel.”

And that’s where I am now. At first it was all about my brother. All I wanted was to get this stupid job over with so I could get to him as soon as possible. Y/N was my ticket to heaven, nothing more and nothing less. I was supposed to be taking care of her and make sure no unnecessary harm came her way but in all reality I honestly didn’t care what happened to her, she could have gotten hit by a car as she jaywalked across the street for all I cared, but as the years went by I found myself developing feelings. It wasn’t just about my brother anymore, it was about keeping her safe. I would find any way possible to keep her from anyone and anything that could hurt her. I would never leave her side because my biggest fear was coming back to her hurt when I could have done something about it. She wasn’t just some ticket to heaven anymore but someone I truly held dear.

Jimin! Taehyung’s loud voice broke me away from my thoughts.

What? I asked, a little irked at his yelling.

Stop daydreaming about Y/N and pay attention to us! The sound of Yoongi smacking Tae upside the head was so loud it even made me flinch, but the satisfaction I felt from the gesture was still there.

What did we tell you about saying things like that out loud? It’s like you want him to lose his chance at heaven. Yoongi hissed at him. Taehyung rubbed at his aching head, but it seemed like the motion was more out of embarrassment than anything.

Sorry. I didn’t mean it. Standing up from my place next to Yoongi I placed my hand momentarily on Tae’s shoulder giving it a quick reassuring squeeze as I made my way back to the entrance of the apartment building.

It’s okay Tae, don’t worry about it. I opened the door and stepped through. Speaking of Y/N, I should go back and check up on her anyway. I’ll see you guys later. As soon as I heard the door click closed behind me I was immersed in my thoughts once again. It was wrong, but it was too late to turn back. I had broken one of the most important rules there was to being a guardian angel, but no matter what I felt no regret, no guilt. What I felt for her was genuine. She might not know I exist, but to me she’s all I know now.

“Don’t forget your lunch.” Robby placed a small black bento box on the kitchen island as she turned back around to fix her own. Not even two seconds later Y/N came bursting out of her room, a piece of toast between her lips, as she swung her backpack over her shoulder.

“Thank you! I’ll see you after class!” She called out around the half-eaten toast as she grabbed the box and stuffed it in her bag.

“Be safe.” Robby called out over her shoulder. Y/N smiled happily at her friend, already halfway out the door.

“Aren’t I always?”

No. No you’re not. Yoongi chuckled at my statement from his seat on the couch where he laid with his eyes closed.

“Right, whatever you say. Go, you’ll be late to class if you don’t.” Robby shooed her away as she reached for the hot pot of rice over the stove. Y/N gave one last wave.

“Bye!” I followed a few steps behind her, door already shut. One of the perks of being a guardian angel? Being able to disappear and reappear wherever you want, no need for opening and closing doors.

See you later Yoongi. The blonde gave a small grunt of acknowledgment, the usual response I’m given from the blonde. I was about to make my way out when I hear Robby’s shout from the kitchen, the sound a mix of surprise and pain, along with a clatter of a pot falling to the floor and glass shattering.

“OW!” The scowl was quick to appear on Yoongi’s once peaceful looking face.

Goddamn it Robby! I can’t leave you alone for five fucking seconds!

“Did you study for the test?”

“Yeah, I just need to go over my notes one last time to make sure I’m not missing anything.”

“I’m sure you’re fine. You usually ace these tests anyway.”

“Thanks Kookie, I hope so. Oh look! Let’s go into that café, I’m in the mood for a cup of coffee.”

“But you just had one!”

You okay there Jimin? Hoseok laughed as he patted my back. I only turned to glare at him before turning back around to look at the two walking in front of us. Jungkook opened the door of the café for Y/N before walking in himself. I was torn between being happy that he opened the door for her and being furious that he opened the door for her.

You know that they’re just friends. There’s nothing for you to worry about, so stop pouting! Hobi disappeared from his spot next to me and I could see where he reappeared through the café window, ushering me to hurry up and join him.


Dying and turning into a guardian angel took a bit of getting used to. It was like being alive again but different. Some examples being the fact that I didn’t have the need to sleep or eat anymore. I didn’t age, nor did any of my internal organs work. The whole guardian angel deal came with the wings and teleportation thing included. As well with the fact of being completely and utterly invisible to everyone who was alive, excluding animals and small babies. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know the reason for that myself either. We could touch and move anything we wanted but that wasn’t something ideal. That usually leads to humans thinking we’re ghosts or demons and that causes a whole other line of problems for us.

“I’ll have a vanilla latte please.”

Are you still pouting? Jeez Jimin, Y/N and Jungkook have known each other for more than two years now, don’t you think something would have already happened if they had feelings for each other? In that moment Jungkook offered to pay for their drinks and veered Y/N to a table near a window, hand on her shoulder as they laughed at something he had said.

See! He’s touching her! Hoseok rolled his eyes as he walked a bit closer to the two chatting at the table, I followed a few steps behind. Plus, there was this time Y/N and Robby were talking in the living room and Y/N admitted that Jungkook was cute. She said he was cute! Maybe she likes him! What if Jungkook likes her too?! We’ll have to find a way to break them up without breaking their friendship, Y/N would be devastated if she and Jungkook weren’t friends anymore, so that’s out of the question. Maybe we could get him a girlfriend? What about a boyfriend?

Hoseok looked at me for a bit, eyes blinking. Jimin, I worry about you sometimes. Slumping down into an empty chair, I crossed my arms and just stared out the window of the café. Hobi walked over to me and placed a hand on my head, ruffling up my hair for good measure before I swatted it away.

I know that you and Y/N…well…you know, but Jiminnie, remember you are her guardian angel, not her boyfriend. She doesn’t know you exist, and never will. She will fall in love at some point in her life and you’re going to have to let it happen. You don’t want her to be alone forever, do you? Looking down at my lap, I go over his words in my head, the same ones Yoongi has repeatedly told me over the years.

She’s not alone, she has me! Hobi narrowed his eyes on me, his gaze saying the words he didn’t speak aloud, making me take a deep breath. I know, but…it’s hard.

Look at it this way, what’s more important to you? Your happiness, or hers?

Her? She’s the one I’m going to have to take care of? The small looking girl sat on her twin sized bed, headphones over her ears with music so loud I could hear it from where I stood next to Namjoon on the other side of her plainly decorated room. She was reading some teenage angsty-looking book from the look of the cover. She looked like any other ordinary teen girl, nothing special about her.

Yup, her name is Y/N. We stood in silence for a few seconds just looking at her. Well…good luck! Namjoon gave me a quick pat on the shoulder and disappeared into thin air, smirking all the while.

What the fuck?! Namjoon! Get your ass back here and tell me exactly what I’m supposed to be doing?! I waited a good ten seconds for some kind of response, unfortunately, it never came. Closing my eyes, I took in a deep breath.

This is all a dream. When I open my eyes everything will go back to normal. With the slightest bit of hope I opened my eyes and watched as Y/N turned a page in her book. Fucking shit.

After a few more minutes of just awkwardly standing there I decided it wouldn’t hurt to just sit on the floor. I tried to turn my attention to her room instead of just looking at her but that didn’t take up as much time as I had wanted it to, her room really was almost bare except for a desk, bed, and a dresser. My eyes went back to look at her. I feel like a creep.

For some reason, to lighten up the awkwardness, I felt the need to introduce myself. If I was going to be spending the rest of her life with her I might as well. Standing up, I walked the short distance over to the end of her bed.

Hi, my name is Jimin. Silence. And, um, I’m your guardian angel, I guess. So you know, I’ll be here, and stuff. Even though you can’t see or hear me apparently, so yeah. She turned a page of her book. I, um, I’ll be over there. I said pointing behind me back to the spot on the floor I had taken up a few seconds ago. Turning back around, I sat down again and rested my chin in my hand.

This is going to be a pain.

“Get out of my way.” I watched wide-eyed as the third girl today pushed Y/N to the ground. The bitch walked away snickering as sheets of homework and notes scattered all around Y/N who began picking herself up off the floor.

You can’t just let them do that! Stand up for yourself! This was the third week of her freshman year and the first time I had ever accompanied her to school. Usually I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about how she was doing, as long as she came home alive, that was all that mattered, but these days she was coming home in tears. Her clothes would be soiled with either dirt, mud, or some mushy cafeteria food. Bruises started forming and some of her things began missing. So being her guardian angel, it was my job to find out what was going on and fix it. As much as I dreaded the idea of doing it, I rather not have Namjoon come back and give me another lecture.

I knew she was fighting the tears, I saw it in the way she bit her lip and tried to blink them away. For the first time, I felt something tug at me on the inside.

Fuck, don’t cry. I watched as she picked up her papers and haphazardly stuffed them back in her folders. She was almost done when I realized that the same bitch from before started walking back to her, her intentions clear just by looking at the malicious smirk creeping on her lips.

No way in hell. With nothing but anger-fueled determination driving me, I made my way over to her before she could get any closer to Y/N. Going against everything Namjoon has ever told me not to do, I stuck my foot out in front of her, successfully tripping her. I watched as she fell face first, her own notebooks flying out in all directions. I couldn’t help the smirk that formed when I saw her face turn beet-red from pure embarrassment. The few people in the hallway began laughing at her supposed trip over air. The bitch got up faster than I had ever thought humanly possible.

“What are you all laughing at?!” She shrieked dusting off her too-short skirt, she looked around frantically before she directed her glare to Y/N. She had already finished picking up all her things, and was now trying to hide her smile, one hand covering her lips.

“What are you looking at whore?!” And with that she scurried off in the opposite direction, leaving all her stuff on the floor, not even bothering to pick it up.

Damn, what a bitch. That was when I heard it. Looking back at Y/N, my eyes only widened. She was laughing. Like really laughing. Holding her stomach, eyes tearing up, the whole package. I hadn’t seen her like this in a while, I couldn’t even remember the last time I had actually seen her smile, and before I knew it I was laughing along with her.

After a few seconds, we finally calmed down but I was a little surprised to see that the smile never left her face. Seeing that smile made a warm feeling spread through me. I was the reason she was smiling, the reason her day wasn’t as bad as it could have been. This was the first time I had ever actually done anything for Y/N. As she began walking to her next class, I realized that maybe helping her out every once in a while wouldn’t hurt. So, with my hands in my pockets, I followed a few steps behind her, and without even realizing it I mirrored the same smile she wore.

Y/N, we’ve been waiting here forever, I hate to tell you this, but I don’t think he’s coming. And just like all the other times I conversed with Y/N, she doesn’t respond. Instead she stares down at her hands in her lap, playing with the ends of her winter jacket. The park was empty now, no one here but us. Y/N sat at one end of the metal bench while I sat on the other. I watched as she lazily swung her feet below, the tips of her shoes grazing the concrete with every swing. Each breath she took formed a small cloud in front of her before slowly vanishing. Watching her, I took my own deep breath, I silently mused to myself on how there was no cloud for me.

Five hours. We’ve been here five hours. She made no kind of movement. It’s late, your parents are probably getting worried by now. Come on, this guy isn’t even all that, you could do so much better. And almost as if she had heard me, she slowly started to get up, taking steps towards the nearest bus stop.

Finally! You would have probably frozen to death if you stayed out here any longer. It was a long silent ride home, but that’s nothing new. The lights at home where out, Y/N probably texted her parents to let them know she was okay. I followed her to her room and watched as she kicked off her shoes and shrugged off her jacket. Her red scarf was thrown to the side as she leisurely made her way to her bed to just lay down.

You’re not going to change out of those jeans? Isn’t that uncomfortable? I mean it’s up to you, but sweatpants wou- The sound of her taking in a shaky breath cut me off.

Y/N? You okay? She only responded with what sounded like quiet sobs. I walked closer to her bed to get a better look, only to have my heart clench at the sight. Her shoulders were shaking and eyes shut tight, trying to hold back all the tears. She clutched at her pillow as her sobs raked through her body, and for the first time, I felt useless. I knew this wasn’t my fault but there was a guilty feeling blooming in my chest that told me I could have done something to prevent this from happening. Someway, this heartbreak could have been avoided. This wasn’t the first time I had seen her cry, but she had never looked so broken before. There was nothing I could do, nothing but to watch her fall apart.

It had seemed that her crying would never end, but eventually she tired herself out and fell asleep. I had made sure her breath had become even again when I decided to sit down on the edge of her mattress, so close to her that I pressed up against the pillow she was still hugging so tightly to her body. I observed her for a few seconds, her tear stained cheeks and messy hair, yet she managed to look so peaceful. I didn’t realize I was reaching out to lace my fingers with a couple of strands until I felt the way they brushed through my fingertips so easily. I drew back my hand hastily. This was wrong, this was breaking the rules. I placed my hands back down on my lap and resorted to just looking at her again.

I’m sorry. I didn’t know what for, whether it was for not being there when she needed me, for not being able to save her from this heartbreak, or the fact that there was no way for me to comfort her even though I was so close. I’m so sorry.

If I had to give a reason as to why I reached over to touch her the second time, I would blame the guilt that threatened to consume me if I didn’t. I had to do something, anything to feel like I’m helping her, even if she would never know. Her cheek, although still wet with the remnants of her tears, was smooth as I ran the back of my hand against it. The feeling of her skin making contact with mine spread a warm feeling inside, one that gave me the courage to continue. Making a bold move, I moved my hand to reach for one of her own. Slowly, with my hand around her wrist, I removed it from around the pillow. I began to brush my fingers against her palm, taking the time to outline the creases, the lines of her heart and life. Slowly, I made my way up and down each finger, before finally interlacing our hands together, my thumb caressing the flesh on the side of her hand. The touch was calming, soothing my heavy conscious.

I promise. I gave her hand a tight squeeze, one that served to reassure me more than it was meant to reassure her. I promise I won’t let this happen again. I’ll be here for you, I’ll always be here.

“I’ll see you later Kookie.” Y/N waved at Jungkook as she began walking through the entrance of the apartment complex.

I’ll come by later. Hobi called as he followed Jungkook down the dimly lit sidewalk. I hummed in acknowledgment of his words as I followed Y/N to the shared apartment. As we reached the door we were met with a familiar figure.

“Kris?” The tall man turned around, hand raised in mid-knock.

“Oh, hey Y/N.” He responded, turning around to fully face her.

“Here to see Robby?” She asked as she walked passed him and to the door.

“I’m here to pick her up, actually.” Before she could say something back, she had already unlocked the door and was met with a backpacked Robby.

“You’re leaving me?” Y/N asked as she watched her bestfriend grab a bottle of water from the kitchen. She pouted at Robby, which only made the older girl laugh.

“I’m staying over Kris’s house today. We’re going to study for a test we’re having next week.”

Study my ass. Yoongi’s deep voice called from the living room. Looking over Y/N’s head, I saw he was in the same position he was when we had left this morning, only thing that had changed was his feet were now resting on top of the coffee table. Don’t think I didn’t see those text messages. ‘Wear those pink lacy panties I love’ Yoongi scrunched up his nose in disgust. Stupid college students and their stupid hormones.

Stop being such a prude, grandpa. It’s young love, innocent and sweet. I tried, but ended up regretting saying anything as he directed his infamous icy glare at me.

Oh trust me, there is nothing innocent about what they’re planning.

“I’ll be back sometime in the afternoon. I’ll text you when I’m on my way.” Robby said as she walked passed us and to the door, greeting Kris with a quick kiss on the cheek, causing a smile to stretch across his lips. He reached for her hand and started pulling her out the door.

“Alright, be safe. Use protection!” Robby hesitated at the door. She swung back around, her cheeks dusted with a bright pink color.

“It’s not like that!” She cried out. Y/N laughed at Robby’s reaction.

“Sure it’s not.”

“It’s not!”

It is. Yoongi put in as he got up from the couch. He stretched out his arms, his wings following the movements of his limbs. I’ll be back. I’m just going to make sure this girl makes it alive to his house. Then she’s his responsibility for the night.

Soon after that, the three were gone and it was only Y/N and me in the small apartment, or well, to Y/N it was only her. I watched as she made her way to the kitchen, pulling out a bag of microwavable popcorn. She set it and then went into her room.

Awesome! Movie night it is.

Couldn’t even make it through half the movie, huh? Her soft snores, known to only make their appearance when she was truly exhausted, filled the small living room as her sleeping form laid on the couch. Picking myself up off the floor from against the couch, I grabbed the spare blanket from one of its armchairs and spread it around Y/N.

I hope you’re okay on the couch. I rather not risk taking you to your room and have you freak out on me. I pushed back a few strands of her hair that had fallen over her eyes as she tossed in her sleep, getting comfortable.

Good thing you don’t have class tomorrow. I readjusted the blanket a bit, recovering her bare legs from where she kicked the fabric away. I had grown used to this, to being with her. Before I would feel so awkward being in the same space as her with nothing to do but just watch her. Everything she did would annoy the hell out of me. This guardian angel thing had made me feel like some glorified stalker, but now it was different. Being with her became comforting in a way and something that no longer seemed like a job but actually something I came to enjoy.

I enjoyed it so much that it almost hurt to know that, to her, I didn’t exist. She had no idea that there was someone watching over her and making sure she was safe. Someone that truly cared about her. There had been times where I had wanted to make my presence known. Leave her a note or even type something on her computer while she went for a snack in the middle of writing an essay, but I always stopped myself. Things like that came with consequences, consequences that were better off not being risked.

No matter what, going back to my brother will always be my first priority, because in the end, my feelings for Y/N are irrelevant. It was all pointless, so I decided that it was better to just suck it up and continue to do what I was assigned, and enjoy the rest of the time I had alone with her before it all came to an end. Hobi was right, ultimately her happiness will always be more important than my selfish feelings. She has to fall in love at some point, who am I to stop her from being happy?

“Fuck, did I sleep on the couch again?” Sitting up, I stretched out all the kinks in my body, popping a few bones here and there. What time is it? Standing up to head to the bathroom, I watch the blanket that I hadn’t realized was covering me pool around my feet. Did I grab a blanket before falling asleep?

“Weird.” Shrugging it off and blaming my extreme tiredness on not being able to remember, I made my way to the bathroom for a shower.

“So the park?” I slipped on one shoe and reached for the other one while trying to hold my cell phone against my ear using my shoulder, which wasn’t working out so well. Why does it look so much easier when other people do it?

“Yes, the park. Hurry up before Kris eats all the sandwiches I made!” And with that the line went dead. Finally being able to put my phone down, I was able to get my shoes on with no struggle. The park was a twenty minute walk from the apartments so it was not a big deal. Robby had called me a few minutes after I had gotten out of the shower, asking if I was down to go bike riding. I had no other plans, so it seemed like a pretty fun idea. I wasn’t the biggest fan of frolicking around in the scorching sun but she’d get on to me about it later if I didn’t go along with her. She says I’m lazy, I say I’m conserving energy.

Making sure I locked the door on my way out, I started my trek to the park, but as soon as I stepped outside I immediately regretted my decision. It was too damn hot outside. It felt like my shirt and jeans were melting into my skin with all this heat. The things I do for this girl.

After walking a few blocks I could finally see the open green spaces and all the tall trees that the park was known for.

“I should have just brought my umbrella for shade.” I mumbled to myself as I waited for the light to give me the sign to cross the road. I tried covering my eyes from the blistering sun’s rays as best I could. Looking back up, I realized the light was about to change colors. The second it switched, I started to make my way on to the street. Without making sure if all the cars had stopped, I began walking across. I heard the car beep its horn before I heard the sound of its tires screeching painfully in an attempt to stop. In something that I can only describe as sheer terror, my eyes widened as I saw the car coming right at me. My heart dropped and I held my breath, completely frozen. Before I could even think, I felt a hand tightly grab onto my arm and jerk me back just in time for the car to narrowly miss me and speed on past. If that car would have made impact, I wouldn’t have lived to see another day.

The feeling of the hand around my arm relaxing and then letting go brought me out of my state of shock. I quickly turned around to thank the person that had just saved my life, but I was completely thrown off when I saw no one behind me.

I know I felt someone grab me and pull me out of the way. The streets weren’t crowded, there was nowhere for them to hide. I had turned around right as they had let go, that’s not nearly enough time to just runaway. There would have been footsteps or something. This makes no sense.

I saw the car. I saw it before she did, and I knew it wasn’t going to stop. The lady driving was texting, so she wasn’t paying attention. My first thought was to step on the back of her shoe, making it seem like it slipped off and stop her from crossing the road, I had even taken the extra step to do it too, but then something held me back. The haunting thoughts of a ‘what if’ plagued my mind.

What if she died? It’d be over. I would finally be on my way to heaven, I would see my brother, and maybe, just maybe, if I was lucky enough I could see her on the other side. It would be perfect. Everything would be perfect. With that in mind, I let her go. I let her walk on to the street, and get in the way of the oncoming car.

‘What’s more important to you? Your happiness, or hers?’

Hoseok’s words rang in my head and snapped me out of my thoughts, making me realize what I was doing. Her fear stricken face ran a cold chill down my spine, and without a second thought I lurched forward and grabbed on to her arm and pulled her back, causing her to fall into my chest. And for a second we stayed like that, as she just stared forward, probably still too shocked to do anything. Scanning my eyes over her just to make sure she was perfectly okay, I realized I was still holding on to her. Carefully, I retracted my hand and took a step away from her. Just as I had let her go she spun around, eyes skimming around, searching for her savior. If only she knew what had really happened.

I’m sorry, Y/N. There was no excuse for what I did.

Jimin. And it seemed like Namjoon didn’t think so either.

Are you fucking insane?! This had been going on for at least twenty minutes now. What the hell was going through your tiny brain?! Flickering my gaze from the grass below me to the three figures on the picnic blanket enjoying sandwiches. Y/N laughed at something Robby had said, the younger girl pushing her bestfriend playfully. It was as if what had just occurred a couple minutes ago never even happened.  

Park! Are you even listening to me? Namjoon was livid, and I completely understood why. To be completely honest, I deserved this verbal abuse and then some.

Yeah. I am. I flickered my eyes back to him, his hair and outfit the usual silver and white. This time it was a white hoodie and matching jeans though. His dark eyes were staring at me disapprovingly, but when I finally brought my eyes up to meet his, his gaze softened a fraction.

Look Jimin, I know about your feelings for Y/N. I’m not blind. Although I knew it was a bit obvious, his words still shocked me. I kind of saw it coming anyway, she is so your type. Now those words threw me off completely.

How would you know what my type is? Namjoon rolled his eyes and waved me off with his hand.

Never mind that, focus on the now. This could have cost you your entrance into heaven, you know that right? If anything would have happened to her, it would have all been on you.

I know that, I wasn’t thinking straight. It won’t happen again. I assured him, but he only gave a heavy sigh and ran a hand through his silver hair in frustration.

Jimin, I want to believe you, I really do, but you have to get your priorities straight here. Y/N’s life was at risk today, and you could have stopped it. But you didn’t, and to add to the flame, you grabbed her directly. You know how problematic that can be.

I know, just, give me one last chance Namjoon. Please, it won’t happen again. I pleaded. He stared at me for a few more seconds before finally giving in.

Fine, but one more screw up like this Jimin and it’s over. I nodded in understanding.

I got it. I won’t let anything happen to her, this was a mistake that I promise won’t repeat itself.

Namjoon nodded. I’m trusting you. It’s going to be a pain in the ass to explain this to the head of angels. You owe me one, punk. At those words, I could only laugh.

I’m sure Jin will cut us some slack. Namjoon rolled his eyes, shoving his hands in his pockets.

You’re lucky he’s got a soft spot for you kid, or else your ass would have been in the deepest depths of hell by now.

I have my undeniable charm and charisma to thank. I say with a wink to which he responds with an unamused stare.

Whatever. Get back to work. And with that, he vanished, and along with him, any trace of playfulness I had shown before disappeared as well. In all honesty, if it wasn’t for my brother I would have gladly accepted going to hell. There was no excuse for what I had done.

What’d Namjoon tell you? Yoongi’s voice spoke up from behind me.

I’m off the hook. Even though this was good news, there was no want to celebrate or cheer for joy.

You fucked up. He stated as he came up next to me. I let my eyes wander over to Y/N and settled my gaze there. I couldn’t believe I was so stupid. I almost got her killed because of my own selfishness. I didn’t deserve to go to heaven.

I know.

“Semester is finally over!” Robby screamed out in joy as I watched her put her backpack down before throwing herself on the couch. Following behind her, I placed my own bag next to hers and promptly sat on top of her.

“Ah! Get the hell off!” I laughed at her and stood up before I ended up crushing her ribs and causing permanent internal damage. I’d be less one best friend, and that’s not a very favorable situation. Instead, I made myself comfortable on the floor and leaned against the couch.

“Sorry, couldn’t help myself. You know just how much I love bothering you.” I said with a large smile to which she rolled her eyes.

“Sure.” Rolling around on the couch, she sat up and reached for her phone. “We should do something to celebrate! We could go out to eat with the boys or something.” She said as she waved her phone screen in my face, ready to text Kris about the plans on my cue.

“I wanted to stay home and watch a movie though!” I whined, not really feeling in the mood to go out. I had been feeling a bit sick these past few weeks. From feeling light headed and dizzy to weak and tired for no apparent reason. I brushed it off as nothing and just tried to push it to the back of my mind. The feelings would come and go as the day went on. I had decided that once the semester was over, and if I was still feeling bad, I would go to the doctor for a check-up. Today, for some reason, my little spells had come more often and lasted longer.

“Come on! We can go get some coffee afterwards.” She tried bribing me and to be quite honest, the coffee won me over.

“Okay, fine. Let’s go.”

“Hey, Y/N, you okay?” Re-opening my eyes, I looked over beside me to Jungkook. I made a move to nod my head but immediately regretted it when a nauseating feeling washed through me.

“Yeah, I just need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back soon.” Before I could get up Robby interjected, her eyes filled with worry.

“You sure you’re okay? You look a little pale.” This time I managed a meek nod.

“I’m fine.” But the thumping in my chest told me otherwise.

“I’ll be back.”

“She’s been gone for a while.” Robby spoke out my own thoughts. She looked over at her boyfriend before looking back at her phone, still waiting for a reply to her text message she had sent to Y/N more than ten minutes ago.

“You should go check up on her.” Jungkook offered, to which she nodded in agreement. Yoongi looked over at me and nodded his own head in the direction of the bathroom. Understanding, I made my way over to the bathroom before Robby could even get up.

I looked around to see if anyone was around before I raised my knuckles to knock on the door. After there was no answer I knocked a few more times, making sure to do it harder. Not getting an answer made me grow impatient and filled my heart with worry.

I really hope you’re decent Y/N. And with that I made my way into the bathroom. I wasn’t expecting to see Y/N laying on the tiled floor, unconscious.

Y/N! I feel to my knees and shook her shoulders to get some kind of response from her, but to no avail.

Please! Y/N! Wake up! She was breathing, but it was so faint. It was in that moment that there were more knocks on the door, accompanied with Robby’s voice through the door, the handle jingled as she tried to open the door. Carefully putting Y/N down, I ran up and unlocked the door for her. It swung open immediately and at seeing her bestfriend on the floor, she gasped and rushed forward.

Please help her! Even though I knew she couldn’t hear me, I felt the need to voice out. I was scared, I didn’t know what to do. There was nothing I could do. I watched as the restaurant staff rushed past me, some yelling to call for an ambulance while others tried to take control of the situation. In all this chaos, all I could think about was that I had let her down again.

“Hello, sorry to interrupt, but could I speak with you outside for a moment.” At the sound of the voice both Robby and I jerked up. Rubbing away the sleep from her eyes, she nodded to the man. She got up from her spot next to Y/N and followed the doctor outside the room. As soon as I heard the door click closed I stepped away from the corner of the hospital room where I had been standing for the past hours and made my way over to her. She would have looked perfectly normal, if it weren’t for all the IVs and the ugly green hospital gown. The sight of her being all wired up weighed heavy on my heart. I took Robby’s seat and reached for her hand, grasping it between both of mine. Her skin was so cold, completely distinct to her usual warmth. Slowly, I brought her hand up to my lips and gave her a gentle kiss.

I’m sorry. I mumbled into her skin as I closed my eyes and held on tighter.

Could you stop saying that? I’m sure she’d be tired of all these unnecessary apologies you keep giving her. Namjoon’s sudden appearance didn’t really surprise me. Somehow he just knows when to show up, I had expected him to come in sooner or later. He walked up to me and I could tell he was looking at our joined hands but my hold on Y/N didn’t loosen in the slightest. I didn’t care anymore.

I failed her. She was supposed to finish college, get her dream job and marry her dream guy. She had such a bright future. I began softly. And now the chances of her getting out of this room alive are slim to none. The words tasted bitter on my tongue, and the reality of the situation being said aloud only made me feel worse.

This wasn’t your fault. Things like this are out of our control. There is nothing we can do but watch and hope for the best. Everything will be okay. I knew he meant well, but his words just set off something inside. Jumping to my feet, I forcibly grabbed Namjoon by the collar of his shirt.

Shut up! You don’t know anything, you have no idea what I am feeling right now! Namjoon pushed me away harshly, causing me to stumble back. To my surprise, instead of getting angry and yelling back at me as I had expected him to, he seemed perfectly calm.

I might not know exactly what you’re feeling, but I do have an idea. I was once a guardian angel too. The death of the one you are supposed to protect can be hard to handle, but it’s inevitable, and most of the time there will be nothing we can do but watch them die. Realizing he was right, I slumped my shoulders in defeat.

I know, but I just wish there was something I could do for her. I say as I walk back over to her bed.

Just do the exact thing you’ve been doing for her, stay by her side. He reasoned with a reassuring squeeze to my shoulder.

In that moment Robby came back inside the hospital room. Namjoon and I moved out of her way and let her sit back down. She didn’t notice that the chair had moved back, my guess was because she was crying too hard to notice. She took out her phone and I watched over her shoulder as she pressed her boyfriend’s name on the screen. She tried to hold back her sobs as she waited for him to answer. I exchanged a worried look with Namjoon before Robby began speaking.

“Her c-condition is too severe. T-they won’t be able to find a heart in time.” She paused to take in a shaky breath. “She only has a few hours left…she’s dying Kris. My best friend is dying.” And just like Robby, I broke down.

“Hey Park, you got our package?” The alley way was dark and smelt of mold and wet dog. Not a very ideal place to be, but with the things Jimin has been involved with these past few years its only suitable. The three goons that had just stepped into the ally snickered as Jimin stepped forward and threw the duffle bag filled with whatever illegal substance he was asked for this time. The bag fell at their feet, one of the idiots rushed forwards and dived for the bag, opening it to check the contents.

“All here boss!” He spoke up with a stupid grin on his face, zipping it back up and tossing the bag over his shoulder. One of the other men nodded and smirked. Something about these guys seemed off and gave me an uneasy feeling.

Keeping my eyes on both Jimin and the three guys, I walked forward. Two of the guys began whispering between themselves, while the other conversed with Jimin. What were they planning? When I walked behind them I realized exactly what their intentions were.


“I told you I would come through.” Jimin laughed, but the sound didn’t seem genuine. Poor guy, if I were him I don’t think I would be able to even smile after everything he’s been through. “Now, about that cash…” He would do anything to survive now, and that included selling illegal drugs and at times, even murder.

The three guys exchanged looks and in a blink of an eye they all took out their guns from behind them, aiming straight at Jimin. At the sight of the fire arms, Jimin wasted no time and pulled out his own. A string of curses flowing out his mouth.

“Looks like there’s been a change of plans.” The first shot was fired. Luckily, Jimin dodged it in time for it to only graze his shoulder.

Jimin! I tried to rush forward but a grip around my arm stopped me before I could even take one step.

No Namjoon. There’s nothing you can do for him now. I swung around to be face to face with Seokjin. I tried to pull away from his hold but he wouldn’t budge.

I have to! I’m his guardian angel, it’s my job to protect him! There were more gun shots but because I was still trying to free myself from Jin’s hold I couldn’t tell who had shot who.

“Gah! You fucking punk! I’ll show you not to mess with us!”

He needs me Jin! He’s going to die if I don’t help! It will be my fault if he dies! I desperately tried to reason with him.

This isn’t on you. He put himself in this situation, these are his consequences. You’ve done all you can do; he’s survived this long but this time there is nothing you can do for him but let him figure this out on his own.

I refused to believe him, and with one last pull he finally let go. But unfortunately, it was too late. With wide eyes I watched as Jimin took a bullet to the chest, straight through his heart.

The kid didn’t stand a chance.

Slowly, her heart rate began to drop. It became irregular and faint. They had said her death would be painless, she was still unconscious, but knowing that she was taking her last breaths still didn’t make the uneasiness go away.

The sorrow in the room weighed heavy on all of us, alive and dead. Robby hadn’t stopped crying since she had gotten the news, but now her boyfriend was here for her, close to her side and providing as much support as he possibly could. While on her other side stood Yoongi, our eyes met from across the room, the look he had given me was filled with sympathy. He of all people would know just how hard this was. On Y/N’s right side sat Jungkook, holding her hand. He was crying softly, wiping at his tears with each one that managed to escape down his cheek.

Poor kids. Hoseok said as he looked on. He stood to my left while Namjoon silently stood to my right. It hurts to lose someone so close. Instead of responding I only nodded in agreement and swallowed the lump in my throat.

She’ll be okay. I know she will, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s about to die. Her life is over, and she didn’t even get to live it to its fullest, and not being able to give her the long life she so rightfully deserved will always be my greatest regret. Her condition may not have been my fault but there was still so much I could have done for her. If only I wasn’t always so focused on my own selfish needs. If only I could have really been there for her, not as her guardian angel but as someone physically in her life. A friend, maybe even a boyfriend if she would have had me, but that wasn’t how our cards had been played out. I was wrong in falling in love with her, but she had made it nearly impossible for me. There were no regrets when it came to loving her, just heartache.

“I’m going to miss you.” Robby choked out softly as they all realized that it was almost time. “What a best friend you are, leaving me like this.” She jokingly said with a small smile before she had to bite her lip to keep from crying. “Who am I supposed to yell at for stealing my food now? And have k-drama marathons with? We were supposed to watch that new Kim Woo-bin one together too. That’s not fair Y/N…it’s not fair.” Those were her last words before she couldn’t hold back her tears any longer. Kris reached over and took her into his arms, hugging her as tightly as he could, trying to comfort her small shaking figure.

“It’s not fair! It’s not fucking fair! She can’t die! I don’t want to lose her!” Kris brushed his fingers through her hair.

“I know love, I know.” I watched as Jungkook only held on to her hand tighter, letting all his own tears out, not caring about wiping them away anymore. 

The loss of someone they had held so dear was too much, and in that moment her heart finally stopped.

I opened my eyes to a field of white lilies. The blue sky above was littered with clouds the same color as the lilies below me. Slowly, I turned around, trying to figure out exactly where I was, only to be met with dark brown eyes. The owner of these eyes had hair the color of obsidian. He wore a white button down shirt with matching slacks, but the thing that had thrown me off were the angel wings spread out behind him.

“Who are you?” With that single question the brightest smile I had ever seen stretched across his lips.

“Hi, my name is Jimin.”