i learned a lot about falling in love when I fell out of love

anonymous asked:

can you make a checklist on how to get into the gorillaz?? It seems like there is a lot out there and its hard to follow when i'm getting into it late.. thank you!!

Sure!!! I personally got into them by watching their G-bitez and music videos and it all kinda spiraled from there.

The band itself was made by Damon Albarn (Lead singer of Blur, does vocals and writes lyrics for Gorillaz) and Jamie Hewlett (Co-creator of the comic book “Tank Girl”, draws and animates for Gorillaz) after they were both watching MTV and they were like “hey music today sucks you know what’d be cool?? if we made an animated band” “cool we could call it ‘gorilla’ because we were both born on the year of the monkey!!!” sadly animal planet had already copyrighted “gorilla” so they just added a z to the end of it to make it cooler.

Here’s a playlist of all of their music videos/unfinished storyboards i put together (they’re all in order according to the storyline, but keep in mind that “do ya thing” isn’t canon): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLupIZC02E6mRz_uqFp8BiLuEZ3-ZUjJZB

Here’s a list of all of their interviews I’ve been able to find (You can learn a lot about the characters from these babies): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLupIZC02E6mT1RKRtEIu2RA4AraQnGnqu

Aaand here’s a list of all of their songs (there’s a bunch). Every one of them sorted from oldest to newest, every song after “We’ve got the power” is either a demo, rare or unreleased: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLupIZC02E6mTeUgeN3TVDF1kUgM11wlFI

Something to know about Gorillaz is that they have “phases”. Phase 1 was in 2001, when they released their albums “Gorillaz”, “G-Sides” and “Laika come home”. Phase 1′s art style was cartoonish and used very thick lineart. Phase 2 was in 2005, when they released “Demon Days” and “D-sides”. Phase 2′s art style was a bit dark and looked more realistic. Phase 3 was in 2010, when they released the albums “Plastic Beach” and “The Fall” in 2011. Phase 3′s art style was almost the same as phase 2′s. Then we have Phase 4 in 2017, their new album “Humanz” is coming out April 28th. It’s art style is the one that stands out the most to me, you can find most of the art on Jamie Hewlett’s Instragram (Hewll)

Alright, a big part of me getting into the fandom was my love fore the characters. I’m assuming you’re not a fan yet, so let me introduce them to you (i’m going to use powerpoints to explain each member if u don’t mind):

This lovely lad here is Murdoc Faust Niccals.

- He’s the band’s leader/bassist, and he makes sure EVERYONE knows that’s it’s his band and only his.
- He went through multiple other bands before he formed Gorillaz.
- He was born on June 6th, 1966 in Stoke-on-Trent, England. As an infant he was abandoned on his father’s doorstep.
- Had a very rough childhood, his father, Sebastian Niccals, would force him to preform on stage for booze money and it was absolutely humiliating for him.
- His nose has been broken a of total 8 times. The first time was from a bully at his school, the 2nd time was from his older (and only) brother, Hannibal, because Murdoc had touched his records and the other 6 times were from Russel when he got caught “doing it” with 2D’s now ex-girlfriend in the bathroom stalls of Kong Studios
- His middle name was originally “Alphonse” but he changed it to “Faust” after making a deal with the Devil in phase 1 to make Gorillaz the “biggest band in the world”. That’s also how he got his bass, “El Diablo”.
- did i mention he was a satanist bc he is
- He hangs around in his underwear a lot (especially in phase 2)
- He likes to either get naked or start pelvic thrusting in like every video, so be careful, young anon.
- He’s very crude but sometimes he can be very nice and adorable in some interviews ??? It’s so weird
- He likes making weird noises, like, a lot.
- Apparently can speak French and Spanish
- His reason for turning green all of the sudden in phase 2 is either because of alcohol poisoning or due to him tanning himself green. Jamie himself said that it’s because he’s an immortalist and his skin is now rotting but I’m not sure how true it is.
- He had a pet raven in phase 2!!! His name was Cortez and no one really
knows what happened to him but Murdoc seemed to love that bird.
- He also had a cape in phase 2 that he loved and wore like all the time but he lost it. Poor baby.
- He was based off of a young 1960′s era Keith Richards.
- He has a tongue longer than Gene Simmons’ and I’m not even kidding. His tongue is like a foot long
- His genuine laugh can cure cancer
- He had his own MTV cribs episode
- Here’s a playlist of every interview he’s been in if you’d like to know a bit more about how he acts.
- All of this sounds horrible but like half of the fandom sees him as charming and funny and the other half sees him as repulsive and downright mean so i guess listen to some of his interviews and make your decision (i’m part of the half that loves him)

This is 2D!!

- He’s the band’s singer, sometimes he plays the piano and melodica too.
- He’s anxious and a bit timid around people. He’s not that intelligent, but he’s an absolute sweetheart to pretty much everyone. He’s … a huge dork.
- He was born on May 23rd, 1978.  He was born in Hertfordshire, England and was raised in Crawley, England. When he was 10 he fell out of a tree and landed on his head, his hair fell out and grew back blue. He’s had horrible headaches since then, but his mother was a nurse and gave pills to help him out.
- His real name is Stuart Pot
- He loves horror films!!! Especially zombie movies.
- Apparently he smells like butterscotch
- He’s VERY tall. he’s like 6′1 and his legs make up most of his body. He towers over the rest of the band.
- His voice actor is Nelson De Freitas, but Damon Albarn provides his singing voice
- The lack of his two front teeth gives him an adorable accent
- He has a crippling fear of whales
- His eyes are black due to an 8-ball fracture that Murdoc gave him before the band was made when he crashed his car into the music store 2D worked at.
- His eyes turn white when he’s stressed or scared.
- His nickname “2D” stands for “Two Dents”. He’s called that because Murdoc’s car crash also gave him two dents in his head.
- Murdoc is seen physically abusing 2D throughout phase 1-3, but there’s a very likely chance that he’s going to stop and make amends in phase 4!!!
- Here’s a playlist of interviews that he’s been in
- Everybody loves him. I love him. I don’t think it’s possible not to love him.


This is Russel Hobbs!!

- He’s the band’s drummer.  He makes remixes too!!!
- The living embodiment of “looks like he could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll”
- Quite possibly the most underrated character in the world
- He was born in Brooklyn, New York on June 3rd, 1975. He got possessed by a demon as a kid and fell into a coma for four years. After he woke up the demon got expelled tho
- When he was a teen, him and his friends were involved in a drive-by shooting. Russel was the only survivor and all of his friends possessed him, but the only one we really get to see is his closest friend, Del, he raps in Clint Eastwood and Rock the House, but we haven’t seen him since phase 1. 
- Russel misses Del very dearly, poor lad.
- After the whole shooting incident he was sent to the UK to live with his uncle.
- HE SAVED 2D FROM BEING EATEN BY A WHALE. HE’S SO UNDERAPPRECIATED 
- He’s an actual giant in phase 3 because he ate some radioactive algae 
- He loves fezzes!!!
- His hobby, besides music, is taxidermy.
- He’s the dad friend
- Here’s a playlist of interviews that he’s been in

Last but not least, this is Noodle

- She plays guitar for the band. She also sings and writes songs sometimes
- Noodle is very energetic and nice but she can also kick your ass
- She was born in Osaka, Japan on October 31st 1990
- She joined the band when she was around 10 but she’s like 26 now. I forgot to mention that the band ages with real time
- As a kid she was a part of a classified child super solider project under the management of a japanese scientist named Mr. Kyuzo. this is where she learned how to be badass. She knew professional karate at like 10 how cool is that
- All of the children in that project were deemed too unstable and dangerous, so they canceled the experiment and Mr. Kyuzo was ordered to kill all of the children (fuckin dark i know). After killing them all, Mr. Kyuzo was reluctant to kill Noodle, so instead he put her in a state of amnesia and smuggled her to the UK by shipping her to Kong Studios in a FedEx crate.
- She didn’t remember anything!!! The only english thing she was able to say to say was “noodle” and that’s where she got her name.
- She learned how to speak english and remembered her past in phase 2.
- Murdoc, 2D and Russel raised her (mostly russel tho). Noodle considers Murdoc and 2D her brothers and Russel considers her his daughter how CUTE IS THAT
- She loves Pokemon
- She had a flying windmill island in phase 2 it was incredible
- She had a cute radio helmet in phase 1 
- She also has a robot version of herself called “Cyborg Noodle” in phase 3. It’s a long story but Cyborg might be coming back for phase 4.
- The interviews that she’s in can be found here!!

The backstory is too long for me to write down, but you can find it over here! I hope i explained everything clearly- if not, or if you have any questions, feel free to send me a message!! I hope this helps you c:

Beauty and the Beast is the Hobbit

really though. it’s kind of bizarre

We begin with a prologue. A male narrator tells us the story of a secluded kingdom/palace that fell into decay..

The narrator then tells us how his kingdom/palace fell into ruin. The ruler of the kingdom/palace became selfish and heartless, obsessed with one of the “seven deadly sins”: (vanity or greed).

Their selfishness drew a powerful evil magic (an enchantress or a dragon.)

It also drew a curse. The enchantress caused the Prince to turn into a beast. There’s a similar concept in the Hobbit. The gold   in Erebor causes the people who obsess over it to get “dragon sickness”– a sort of curse which turns them into gold-obsessed  “dragons” (beasts on the inside )….

After this dark prologue, we transition to a beautiful sunny provincial town. It’s a lovely place, but every day is the same as the day before. These hobbits/ townspeople are fussy and simpleminded. They care a lot about tradition and being “respectable.” They deeply mistrust anything new, exciting, or unfamiliar…..

We meet our second hero- a naiive and very bookish person whose name starts with a B. They can have a snarky sense of humor. They “don’t take anyone’s shit” and are far stronger than they look. They can be proud, even a little arrogant at times, but they’re very soft-hearted. They are a “pure cinammon roll.”

This person’s greatest, defining strength is their compassion. They can see the good in everyone, even in creatures who look like monsters (Belle falls in love with the Beast; Bilbo takes pity even on Gollum)

They also have a parent known for being crazy/unconventional– Belle has her father Maurice, Bilbo has his mother Belladonna Took.

Both the protagonists are different from the other simple farmer-villagers because they want more than just a simple  life.

They long for adventure….

And they’re eventually dragged into an adventure, against their will.

Our protagonist is forced to meet the The Dwarf-King/the Beast-Prince. This person is brooding, intimidating, and glowering. He rarely smiles. He has a dramatic cloak and an uncontrollable temper. He has a Tragic Past, a bizarre troop of followers, and (secretly) a good heart. 

Deep in this King/Prince’s castle is his special glowing Secret Artifact you really shouldn’t touch (Seriously don’t he will FREAK OUT). The reason why the King/Prince needs the protagonist has something to do with this enchanted artifact….


The protagonist makes an agreement to stay with the King/Prince (Belle makes a promise, Bilbo signs a contract.)

They get to know the Prince/King and his more approachable but still very weird group of followers. When the King/Prince isn’t there,  these followers sing an upbeat song to the protagonist as they expertly prepare/clean up after dinner (Be our Guest and That’s What Bilbo Baggins Hates.) Their song is so upbeat you forget they’re singing it to a captive audience.

Meanwhile, the relationship between the Prince/Dwarf-king and the protagonist gets off to a very rocky start. The Prince/King secretly cares about the protagonist (later risking his life multiple times for them) but refuses to show it. Instead he acts cold, dismissive, and controlling. The protagonist, meanwhile, doesn’t know that beneath his cold facade the Prince/King really does have a heart.

Their relationship reaches a breaking point when the protagonist makes an innocent mistake, and The Prince/King lashes out at them….

The protagonist decides that, even though they promised to stay/signed a contract, they can’t do this any longer. They try to leave….


But a wolf attack changes everything.

The Prince/King defends the protagonist from wolves (or guys riding on wolves).He’s gravely injured by one of these wolves.

 The protagonist then saves his life in return.

This near-death experience brings them closer together.

The Prince realizes he was wrong about the protagonist, and about himself…

”Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change, learning you were wrong!” Versus “I have never been so wrong in all my life.” 


There’s a lot of bonding between the Prince/King and the protagonist. The Prince/King becomes kinder, gentler. Their affection for the protagonist, and the protagonist’s kindness to them, makes the Prince/King more openly compassionate. Things are really looking up. It looks like the curse will be overcome (the Beast will become human, and Thorin won’t get the “dragon sickness” that drove his grandfather mad.)

But there’s another force to be reckoned with– a handsome, vain antagonist who loathes the Beast/the Dwarf….

(“I use antlers in all of my decorating!”)

This antagonist convinces everyone the Beast/Dwarf is evil and subhuman. (He’s very against the film’s Beast/human or dwarf/elf relationship).  He rallies a massive force to kill the Prince/King.

The protagonist, armed only with one of the Prince//King’s prized sparkly artifacts (the Mirror/the Arkenstone), tries to convince them to stop. But this only makes things worse.




At one point the Prince/King tells the protagonist to leave. Then the Prince/King, feeling betrayed and hopeless, becomes “beast-like” again. The enemy is at his doorstep but he refuses to fight,  resigned to his fate. One of his servants/followers tries to convince him to join the battle, but fails. Let them come, the Prince King thinks, let them destroy everything– he’ll remain holed up in his castle. He lets his servants/Dain’s troops fight his battle for him.

His servants/Dain’s army does well without him at first, but eventually he’s forced to join the fray. He fights one-on-one against an army/mob’s leader. There’s a moment where he thinks he’s defeated his foe….but then his enemy launches a surprise attack, stabs him, and mortally wounds him. Yet by killing the Prince/King, the evil guy also ends up killing himself. 

The protagonist rushes to the dying Prince/King’s side, blaming themselves for causing his death. The Prince/King, meanwhile, has finally redeemed himself. He apologizes for the way he acted in the past (“maybe it’s better this way”) and speaks lovingly about how wonderful the protagonist is, and how glad they are to see them one last time. The protagonist, meanwhile,  desperately insists that he will be all right.

But he isn’t. He dies. The protagonist collapses, weeping.

But then he comes back to life because love!!! In one of the films, anyway. In the other he is 50000 percent dead

BONUS:

Both films have animated and live-action adaptations. In the live-action adaptations, Ian McKellan plays one of the Prince’s allies (Cogsworth/Gandalf) while Luke Evans plays one of his adversaries (Gaston/Bard).

TL;DR: A Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, Bilbo and the Dwarf (or: the Burglar and the Beast?)

i learned a lot about falling in love when i fell out of love, i learned a lot about being a friend when i was alone

I have some opinions/thoughts that I’d really love to get off my chest even if other people think I’m completely wrong.

Gaston did not deserve to die, Gaston was hardly a bad person, Gaston was basically forced into being the villian of this story.

[I’m referring to the 2017 remake of BATB rather than the original animation.]

Let’s point out some difference between the 1991 Gaston and 2017 Gaston
-2017 Gaston was not a misogynist
-did not abuse Lefou
-even verbally
-Like for fucksakes, the friendship between Lefou and Gaston was so genuine. I’m frequently seeing these things around Gafou is an abusive ship, buts it’s really not? He tells Lefou ‘thank you’ says ‘you’re the best Lefou’ sincerely asks ‘how has no woman snatched you up?’, messes around with Lefou like buds (wrestling bite marks, picking him up to demonstrate strength, gets on the table and dances with him), let’s Lefou calm him down and boop his nose, and not once does he insult or hurt even when it seemed like he would (after Lefou wrapped his arms around him, or when he couldn’t spell his name, when he said ‘who needs her when you’ve got us’, etc). They’re sincerely good, close friends, but don’t worry I’m not ignoring all the shitty things Gaston did to Lefou I will get to that in a second.
-I said he’s not a misogynist, right? Cause that’s important. Big step away from the OG.
-Doesn’t insult Belle for reading
-Instead he feigns interest in the book because he knows it’s her interest
-even brings her flowers, whataguy
-Has manners (“excuse me, please let me through” going through the crowd, didn’t push everyone out of his way)
-Goes to her rescue when the town’s people are being mean (sure this is because he wanted to be the hero to seduce her, but seriously he was one of the few people who didn’t harass or bully Belle for being different)
-Doesn’t call Maurice crazy and instead offers his help to soothe the men (again, seduction, but seriously he’s still being polite and helping the underdog unlike the OG)

I’ll probably think of more things to add to this Gaston-wasnt-an-asshole list but I think this basically gets the point across that, well, Gaston wasn’t an asshole. He was immensely vain, yes, but that doesn’t mean he was a bad person.
Cus ya know who else started out incredibly vain but still managed to be the fucking prince in this story?
Yep, the Beast/Adam of course.

Time to do some comparing of the prince and the villian because spoiler alert, they basically parallel each other.

I’ll begin this part with Belle’s comment of, “No one can change THAT much, Gaston”
Ahem

LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP ARE YOU SERIOUS
This line pissed me off immensely, because that’s literally Adam’s entire character arc, changing himself completely, literally and figuratively.

Like I’m sorry you wanna do a repeat of the song “Something there” aka the song where the lyrics are basically “he was an asshole brute who I hated but now he’s c h a n g e d”
Literally so pissed off at that all.

But as I was saying, Gaston basically mirrors Adam’s arc, meaning to say they’re practically the same character things going on but sorta reversed.

Like okay
-Upon first meeting Belle, the Beast locks her father then her in a tower and is a huge dick but then they bond over books and he gives her flowers and he’s nice to her.
-Upon first interacting with Belle, Gaston is nice to her, gives her flowers, tries to bond over books, but then he’s a huge dick and locks her father and then her in a cart.

Do you see what I did there? Literally the same actions, but backwards.

Let’s do some more comparing.
-They both have terrible, terrible tempers.
But you know what? The Beasts is definitely a lot worse than Gaston’s.

Let’s review how both Gaston and Adam dealt with Belle’s dinner rejection
-Beast: literally motherfucking demands she has dinner with him, bangs his paws on the door, scrEAMS at her, and then announces she can starve if she won’t eat with him
-Gaston: [not direct quotes, can’t remember exact words but basically what he says] “oh, busy?” nope “okay, then some other time?” boom that’s that. Yeah he still is persistent on winning her over even after this rejection but the man handled it a lot better then Adam (and he brought flowers for her dinner table).

I’m about to move on from Adam and start talking about how Gaston treated Lefou in a sec, but I would just really really really like to put some emphasis on the fact that both Adam and Gaston were incredibly narcissistic men. The amount of self pride and conceded they have is in the beginning is completely parallel and it leads to both of their unfortunate fates. The point in this, is Gaston is not a bad guy just because he loves himself a bit much, just as the Beast was not a bad guy for loving himself too much. Like, the way Adam turns down Agatha for being ugly seems exactly like something Gaston would do, so why does the movie end with Gaston dying while the Beast learns his lesson and gets his happily ever after?
Because, the OG Gaston was truly an asshole who deserved to die and this 2017 remake of course had to stay true to the story. Even though this Gaston really wasn’t a true villian and didn’t deserve to die – rather he deserves a redemption arc just as Adam was given – he died anyway because that’s how the story goes.

Anyway, I’ll get on with this and bring back Lefou.

Some of you have probably been reading this while thinking “But Marley [das my name], Gaston was a shitty person, he wasn’t a good friend to Lefou at all because he manipulated him, let him get punched in the face, didn’t protect him at all, and threatened to lock him up. Plus, he was only into Belle because she’s pretty.”

Alright alright alright: Lefou.
He’s an exceedingly important character as he gives us insight to Gaston’s character.
Two crucial things he reveals about Gaston … .

-Gaston has anger issues. My father has anger issues, and so do I, and we both are on meds for it. Let me say, having anger management problems and getting angry are very different things. It’s just like he having anxiety and getting nervous are very different things. I think most of you can probably relate or understand anxiety more then anger issues, so just put yourself in Gaston’s shoes with that in mind. Anyway, back to Lefou. He shows us that Gaston has anger issues when he rushes to Gaston’s aid by saying “deep breathes” and then “think about the war”. He tells us that Gaston has coping mechanisms for when he gets like this. Does it matter if Gaston has anger problems? Does it make him less of a dick? Like, seriously Marley, does this information really make up for any of the things he did? Yes, yes it does matter. It’s like when you/someone your love is having an anxiety attack, or when you fall into a depressive episode, or when a loved one acts out of PTSD [which Gaston could totally completely have], or when someone with schizophrenia or delusions starts having episodes, it’s basically exactly like whenever anyone’s mental illness starts to act up. You don’t feel like yourself and you don’t so things you would normally​ do. This is definitely the case for Gaston; he acts out of character when he gets angry like this. And that’s my second point that Lefou proves in this movie.

-Gaston is not being himself when he starts doing all that terrible shit that leads him to his demise. Lefou makes it fairly obvious that that is not how Gaston usually acts. He does this in numerous ways which I will quickly try to summarize and go through:
1) Questions Gaston. Obviously if Gaston often tied up old men to trees or in general left people to die, Lefou would have just went with it instead of going “are you sure?”
2) doesn’t immediately lie to save Gaston’s ass. Again, if Gaston frequently had Lefou lie for him, then it would have came to Lefou like second nature and he wouldn’t have hesitated.
3) Once more, questioning Gaston. The scene I’m about to refer to is when Gaston locks Belle and her father in the carriage. Lefou grabs Gaston’s arm and goes to question him again, but before he can Gaston threatens to lock him up as well. Dick move on Gastons end, no? But this isn’t something he would normally do or say to Lefou, for if it was Lefou wouldn’t have bothered speaking up because he would have known what Gaston’s reaction would be. Instead, Lefou is used to being able to talk sense into Gaston and reason with him (refer back to nose boop scene).
4) Running to Gaston’s side for protection during the fight [castle scene]. Lefou is probably used to having Gaston protect him during fights (war time) and obviously didn’t expect Gaston to throw him to the enemy. Like, yous guys heard him shriek Gaston’s name before the piano fell on him, right? He was obviously expecting Gaston to rescue him. Even after he’s trapped under the piano, he still reaches and calls out for Gaston. The way Gaston is acting is not the Gaston he knows.
5?) “I was on Gaston’s side, but we are so in a bad place right now” [however he says it you know the line I’m referring to]. Aight I think this is the one line that really captures the point I’m trying to make. Lefou has switched sides because Gaston is being a major douchebag and Lefou’s not having it. Lefou doesn’t put up with being treated like shit [MrsPotts saying he deserves better and Lefou agreeing]. So o b v i o u s l y Lefou is not used to Gaston being so cruel and angry. If Gaston treated Lefou like this all the time, then Lefou wouldn’t be by his side [because he left his side once he started acting like this]. Lefou knows how he should be treated, and how he’s being treated is not what he’s used to.
You dig what I’m saying? I’m kinda rushing through these points because I’m getting tired of this.

*deep breathe* Alright, last point, as I mentioned above, ‘Gaston only wanted Belle because she was beautiful’ Alright alright alright I’m not even going to talk about the Gaston in this point, I’m just going to talk about the huge flaw that is Beauty and the Beast.

Adam is turned into the Beast because he needs to learn to not judge people by how they look, he needs to learn that it’s what’s on the inside that matters.
Right.
So why is Belle the one that learns this lesson?
Adam falls in love with a gorgeous girl, meanwhile Belle falls in love with a hideous monster who turns into a nice dude on the inside.
Belle is the character who learned to not judge a book by its cover [cover being a monsterous beast but inside he is a gorgeous prince].
As soon as Belle walked into the castle, all the furniture was like “yooooo she could be the one, master hit her up” and instantly Adam’s like “well I need a girl to fall in love with to break my curse and she cute yeah let’s do it”. Like of course there’s more to our then this, but what I’m trying to say is Adam had already planned to try to charm Belle before he knew what kind of person he was because he was desperate to break the curse.
So he and everyone in the castle just saw her and was like “she was a girl, he was a boy, can I make it anymore obvious?”
So anyway anyway anyway, Gaston was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and he wanted a wife, but Beast was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and could break the spell. See the parallels again? Like, Beast later fell in love with Belle for who she was and she made him a better person, Gaston could have totally done the same thing.
And okay, there’s no proof Beast cared that Belle was beautiful or not, but yo, Disney definitely should have made Belle ugly af so when Adam met her the snob in him would have been “ew she’s ugly, next” and then Lumiere and Mrs. Potts woulda been like “boi Imma whoop yo ass if you don’t give that girl a try, I don’t care how fucked up her teeth are smfh” and then Adam would have learned the lesson that the enchantress was trying to school him about in the first place [this applies to the 1991 animated film, not directly at the 2017 btw]

Well I was trying to keep this professional and moreso eloquently written but you can tell I’m coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all

Okay okay okay
Okay okay
Okay

I believe we’re nearing the end. I believe I’ve said all I needed to say made all the points I could [honestly definitely not because I’m constantly thinking about this and arguing with no one in my head, I have a lot to say and later I’ll be making toast and be like “anD ONE MORE THING”]

I’m very upset Gaston died because he wasn’t a terrible enough character to deserve death.

So Dear Disney, either make Gaston more of a shitty person, or bring him back to life. I’ll be waiting for an apology letter until this is done.

Of course I’m kidding.

I just have such a love and passion for Gaston and I’m truly sick of hearing people tell me that Gafou is an abusive ship and Gaston is a villian.

And if you refuse to see that Gaston wasn’t a bad guy but still believe that Adam is such a prince than you’re insanely hypocritical.

People just see what they want to see.

Also I’m terribly sorry for making this so diddly damn long, I honestly have no idea how to do the cutoff “Show more” thing, I’m on mobile. So sorry if you’re trying to rapidly scroll past all of this and it’s taking forever.

But honestly fuck you don’t scroll past my argument.

And also if you legit read all this then motherfucking congratulations to you. Like I don’t even want to read all of this shit to edit it.

Thanks for the attention. Marley OUTT
Dating Stiles Stilinski Would Include

warnings: mentions of sex

- you and stiles are neighbors, but he didn’t really notice you much.

- that is until you hit a puberty stage in the seventh grade, and suddenly he was tripping over his feet crossing the street to your house. you were shocked when he asked if you wanted to ride bikes with him.

- but you said yes anyways cuz how could you turn down the adorable little spazz. 

 - you and Stiles became best friends easily in the one day, and overtime you him and Scott were a tight little group.

- scott asked you to your first dance in eighth grade, yes, scott. You’d looked between him and Stiles, and when the buzz cut boy said nothing, you said yes to scott

- no, Scott did not have a crush on you, nor you him, but you had a great time that night. though when a slow song came on, Scott made an excuse for punch and asked if you’d rather dance with stiles

- Stiles barely knew how to dance to slow songs, but you taught him. holding your arms around his neck, and his at your waist comfortably. and at one point you’d laid your head on his chest and made him promise you’d be best friends forever. he did without hesitation.

- in freshman year, it was painfully obvious that he was head over heels for Lydia Martin

- (or so you thought. that’s just what stiles wanted you to think)

- but your friendship continued nonetheless, and your growing feelings for the boy continued as well.

- the both of you always made witty remarks. as well as being on the same level of sarcasm. so the banter was great

- except to Scott, who was constantly worn out by it

- seriously. he always took out his inhaler whenever you two got into it

- you’d really pushed yourself to look for nice for homecoming that year.  You’d forced Scott to take you to the mall and critique each and every dress you tried on

- he told you nervously that you looked hot in the one you’d ended up picking, and you gave him finger guns

- STILES ASKED YOU TO DANCE

- you went with Scott and Stiles to the woods that fateful night, in hopes of seeing a severed body

- you and Stiles figured out together that Scott was a werewolf

- when he went to confront Scott about it, he made you stay at his house.  It turned into a nasty argument, which ended with him yelling that he wasn’t letting you get hurt in the process

- you made up easily.  It was you and Stiles.  Of course you did

- but you were with Scott and Stiles when Scott was chained up to the radiator, so that he wouldn’t go crazy on the full moon.

- you sat with Stiles in the hallway, both of you trying not to cry to the sound of Scott’s audible agony.  You saw your freckled friend close his eyes tight, and leaned your head onto his shoulder.  The action provided more comfort than you’d ever know

- the winter formal was a colossal disaster.  Scott snuck in, Stiles was with Lydia the whole night, Jackson was a jerk, you were left alone the entire night, and Lydia got attacked by Peter.

- you did comfort Stiles a little bit later that night in the hospital

- and you beat the shit out of Peter Hale with a baseball bat.  Which resulted in you getting scratched deep on your arm.  Scott Stiles and Allison took you to the hospital the second that Peter’s throat was slashed.  Scott taking Stiles’ keys and starting the Jeep, Allison rushing into the passenger’s seat.  Stiles was holding your nearly unconscious body in the backseat, letting you lay across his lap.  You didn’t really comprehend how hard he was crying

- you didn’t know that he slept in the waiting room for two nights in a row while you were under strict ‘family only’ visiting hours

- but he ran into the room the second Melissa allowed it.  You cried upon seeing him, weakly holding your arms out for him to hug you.  Your pain washing away as soon as he held you in his arms.

- you had to stay in one more night, and Stiles stayed again much to your protests, and he pulled up a folding chair in the room.  Sitting next to your bed and laying his head on the sheets.  He accidentally fell asleep before you did, so you spent half an hour just running your fingers over his buzz cut and thinking about the life you had.

- but don’t worry, the cut wasn’t deep enough to turn you into anything

- you and Stiles became messengers for Scott and Allison.  A tiring, yet sometimes fun job

- Stiles telling you all of his suspicions about Allison’s grandfather, Gerard

- as well as complaining about how cocky Jackson had become

- standing up for Stiles (and Scott when Jackson dared threaten a werewolf) whenever the little shit poked fun at him.

- he stood up for you too, because Jackson… well he was just a dick

- you became closer with Allison and Lydia, but your friendship with Stiles never faltered

- when Stiles found out that Matt was stalking both you and Allison, he flipped shit, and you were crying because you didn’t want him to know.  (because you knew he’d freak out

- Stiles didn’t tell you he punched Matt the next day

- you and Stiles laughed for a long time about how ironic it was that Jackson was the kanima.  I mean, come on, a lizard? Of course it was him.  Jackson’s a fucking snake.

- it got unfunny real fast at Lydia’s birthday party

- you had refused to drink, knowing someone had to have spiked it.  So you saw Stiles lose his mind in the middle of the party, and dragged him outside.  He kept mumbling on about disappointing his father, which made you cry.

- you and Stiles accidentally passed out spooning on Lydia’s couch that night

- the night at the train station still freaks you out.  First Matt tried to get you to join him, and when you’d told him to fuck off, he had Jackson the kanima paralyze you.  Your limp body was tied to a chair for the entire night, and you had to watch him pull a gun on Stiles, and shoot Scott.  

- you later caught Gerard drowning him when you’d been heading home.  You’d grabbed Stiles’ hand so fast, unsure of what to do.  Yes, the boy needed to be punished, you surely didn’t want him to have a happily every after… but he was so afraid and in so much pain.

- you Stiles and Scott picked a lot of classes together over the summer

- Stiles began to grow his hair out, which you supported more the longer it got

- also had a summer road trip to San Diego for a weekend.  Big back to school shopping spree

- you were nervous going back to school after the shitty way last year ended, but Stiles constantly assured you that it would all be okay

- you complained to him constantly about the awkwardness of being friends with both Scott and Allison, and how you barely mentioned one around the other.   

- “but I’m your best friend, right?” to which you’d eagerly nodded to

- groaning the second Scott told you about the alpha pack.

- “can’t i catch a break!?”

- you and Stiles catching a quick two second flicker in Scott’s eyes, shifting from brown to yellow, to red, then back to yellow.  You exchanged a glance that said you’d talk about it after fighting the alpha pack.

- you getting closer with Isaac, and sitting with him on the bus ride to the motel
(you didn’t know Stiles was pestering Scott as to why you’d choose to sit next to a boy who wore scarves that looked like scarves that you would buy.  But Scott was in too much pain to care about his friend’s love life problems)

- you had known all along Lydia and Allison were trailing the bus, because Lydia was snap chatting you about how Allison was so still in love with Scott.  While you were snap chatting her about your Stiles problems

- when you stopped at a rest stop so Allison could stitch up Scott, you were freaking out outside the bathroom, but Lydia and Isaac had no idea how to comfort you

- Stiles had rushed over and held you in his arms, cradling your head against his chest and cooing softly to you.

- “you’re okay, and you know Scott will be okay, don’t worry too much then others will wonder what’s going on in there” 

- after that, Isaac sat with Scott the rest of the bus ride to the motel, and you sat with Stiles

- most of the night, Stiles made you stay in his and Scott’s motel room because weird things were happening.  He’d told you to stay in there after Ethan tried to cut open his stomach with a saw

- “Stiles you know I can handle myself fine-”

- “I know you can, I do, but this is different, they have no idea what’s going on either so I need you to just stay in here, and stay safe

- you’d listened, and ended up falling asleep on the bed waiting for someone to return

- you woke up when the door opened, a soaking Scott and exhausted Stiles dragging in.  Stiles asked if you were staying with them instead of the girls tonight, and you’d nodded limply.

- after Scott got in the shower, Stiles collapsed onto the mattress next to you, mumbling ‘we’re sharing a bed by the way’ and you’d only nodded

- you restrained from screaming when he told you what had happened that resulted in Scott being drenched in gasoline.  The thought of Stiles… him being gone… it killed you.  But you didn’t say anything, just snuggled up against him and fell asleep in his arms.  It meant more than words could’ve said

- you sat with him on the bus the next morning too.  He didn’t wake you up when you left, just carried your sleeping body out to the bus and gave you his flannel to use as a blanket

- you woke up next to him relatively happy upon finding the clothing on you and your head on his shoulder, his head atop yours as he played on his phone

- you were taken with Melissa Chris and Noah, because you’d figured out that Jennifer was the darach, and what her next move was.  You were on your way to warn Stiles when she’d caught you

- you were trapped in the nemeton, but you still just had this feeling in you that Scott became an alpha.  You’d later learn that it was because in a way, without being a werewolf, you were his beta

- when Stiles got you and his father back, the group hug between you three was so tight you cried harder

- he called you the second he started getting night terrors

- and soon Noah began to just come pick you up and bring to the house in the middle of the night because you were the only one who could get him to stop screaming

shh Stiles, it’s not real I promise” you laid down next to him, pulling the covers over both of you. When Stiles shakily nodded, laying down with you, Noah left the room.

“It’s not real” He’d repeat over and over.

- you always stayed on your respective sides of the bed

- you helped Allison get her stability back in the woods, and helped Stiles get his ability to read back

- it took you stepping on a bear trap for it to happen, but hey! he did it!

- Stiles told you first about his dementia

- you were as calm as possible, hugging him and telling him it’d be okay, not shedding a tear

- you went straight to Scott’s and screamed and cried and beat up his chest with your fists in anger, eventually falling to the ground in defeat and exhaustion

- you felt as numb as Stiles looked

- you went with him and Scott to the hospital for the MRI, the three of you group hugging when it was all over

- Trying not to cry.  A lot those days.  Mostly not in front of Stiles, so you ended up crashing on the McCall living room couch and taking over Allison’s bed.

Maybe you should go talk to Stiles, I think you guys need some closure with each other”

“Scotty, I love you, but that would just end with me telling him I love him and there’s enough shit already”

and

“Stiles, you can’t just sit next to her anymore.  You gotta tell her it’s all going to be okay.  You’re little game of ‘we don’t need words’ can’t last forever”

“Scotty, I love you, but that would just end with me telling her I love her and there’s enough shit already”

- You eventually broke.  Like a twig actually.  You’d been sitting on his bed, messing around on your phone when he told you that he was going to admit himself to Eichen.

Are you insane? Did you actually lose your mind?!”

“y/n… maybe they can help…”

“Why can’t we help?!”

“Professional help y/n”

- You cried a lot, too much, you got tears and makeup all over his favorite flannel.  But he didn’t care, he was just glad you finally showed some emotion

- You went with him Scott and Noah to the hospital.  You stood silently with them as he checked in, holding his hand so tight you wondered if he was in any pain.  But he didn’t show any

- You didn’t let go until he hugged Scott and his father goodbye.  Noah excused himself to go ‘start the car’ and Scott ‘offered to help’

(they shipped you two hard)

- Stiles giving you the biggest bear hug and lifting you off the ground.

Just promise not to die in here, this place reeks of depression and I’m not even a werewolf” 

“I promise.  I’m coming back okay?”

- holding his face between your hands and wiping away the tears (he was trying not to let show) with your thumbs

I’m holding you to that promise”

- two days later not being able to take it anymore.  Lydia had offered a million times to conceal the bags under your eyes, and Allison offered a million times to take you shopping.  Kira even invited you over for a sleepover.

- Scott being the only one who wasn’t pushing you to do anything.  

- in fact he was the one who drove you to Eichen to give Stiles his pillow

I’m sorry ma’am, he can’t have visitors yet-”

“Tough shit”

- Scott being surprised when you pushed past the nurse and waltzed towards Stiles’ room because you were usually so calm and collected in public, and never disrespectful towards your elders

- Swiping a key card off of a passing orderly, and pretty much sneaking into Stiles’ little chamber that was hardly an actual warm

- Your heart broke when you looked at him.  His eyes were dark, there were pink bags under them, and his skin was much paler than usual

y/n? Scott? How’d you guys even get in?”

- being tugged into a hug that made you feel like home wasn’t a place anymore

- he smiled when you showed him that you’d brought his pillow

Stiles… what did they do to you?”

- your reunion was short lasted, and you were being dragged out by a male nurse named Brunski

Wait- y/n-!”

“Stiles!”

“I’m gonna get out soon!”

- hearing him yell those same words over and over as Brunski kicked you and Scott out of the building

- wearing Stiles’ lacrosse hoodie for the next few days, waiting for him to come back

- When Noah picked him up, he brought him straight to your house, again, shattering your heart at his clearly unstable persona

- He told you first that he’d known Void had taken over

- You both sat on your bed for a long time, criss cross in the middle of the mattress just talking over everything that happened

- He was crying by the time he got to the part about Void making him have sex with Malia (which he never really knew if it was Void..or him…) and kill his room mate Oliver

I’m a killer I’m a killer y/n I belong there I’m a psycho”

“No.. no Stiles that’s not you, that’s the demon it’s not you”

- He broke down a few times that day, and you had him lay his head in your lap so you could softly run your hands through his hair.  He fell asleep mumbling something about voices

- You called the pack quickly and had them come over

- BIG pack meeting (while Stiles was asleep in your room) about what you were going to do

y/n what if he takes over and you- or or- or anyone- what if someone gets hurt?”

“You’re not going to hurt me Stiles”

- having that conversation a lot

- in school just grabbing onto his hand when he’d get quiet, in the halls at lunch, in class

- whenever you were separated, texting him constantly

you: how do you feel?
Stiles: idk lonely
you: you’re in bio right?
stiles: yeah
you: I’m on my way over tell the teach you’re goin to the bathroom

- this happened many many times in a single day

- seriously his teacher began to ask if he had some bladder infection

- the day Stiles Void was in Derek’s loft was a hard day for you.  Watching Chris pull a gun on the boy made you scream, but before you could go up to the Man, Derek had pinned your arms behind your back

- it hurt more seeing Void smirk upon the action

oh your little spazz is so pissed right now.  he’s quite angry with you Derek” The demon chuckled louder when everyone exchanged confused glances.  “Well, you’re hurting y/n”

- you officially became afraid of Void when Allison had attempted to taser him, and it had no effect on him.

- you hid behind Scott while he was tied to the chair

“he’s so upset y/n, he’s upset that he’s the one scaring you”

- you moved further behind Scott, gripping onto the Alpha’s arm and burying your face into his back

oh this is new… jealousy.  he’s not a happy camper”

- you silently thanked Melissa when she put a thick duct tape over his mouth

- watching him pull foot after foot of rope from his throat horrified you in a way that will haunt your nightmares for many years to come

it’s me guys, I swear it’s me”

- beating Scott to it, and both you and Stiles crashing onto the ground in a hug.  You cried into his neck, your body crushing his chest.  His arms wound around you and he cried too

- you stuck next to him in the McCall living room while everyone else came up with the plan to get Lydia back from Void

you’re okay now?”

- he’d responded by putting his head on your shoulder, and taking your hand in his

I’m here to save my best friend”

“And I’m here to save mine”

- Scott had looked at you, prompting you to say what everyone (minus Stiles) knew you were here for (to save the boy you loved) but you’d only nodded, too afraid in the moment to say anything

- you’d screamed, nearly louder than Lydia upon seeing an Oni pierce a blade through your Argent friend

- Stiles had grabbed onto you so fast, holding your face against his chest as you were still screaming, body convulsing against his.

- he ended up having to pick you up off the ground, while Scott was with Allison.  He carried you to the jeep, and you sat in silence with him in the backseat

- Chris took you both with him, Scott, Isaac, and Lydia to the police station to *cough* explain the death of Allison Argent

- Noah let you stay silent, seeing how much deeper it was  effecting you

- the man took you with him and Stiles home for the night

- you barely slept, you just laid in bed across from Stiles, who was holding both your hands between his

It’s my fault, I did it to her-”

“Stop, you didn’t, you know you didn’t”

- you were already out of tears, the entire void experience had drained you, so you were mostly in silence.  But here and there Stiles would say something to you

Do you hate me?”

“Of course not”

- he asked this a few more times that night, until eventually you leaned up, and kissed his cheek, then buried your face into his shirt, whispering a soft ‘no’ before finally falling asleep

- you were pissed when he held the sword to his chest, the stupid boy thinking that it would help everybody

Stiles don’t, Stiles don’t please, please don’t, drop it Stiles please”

- when he’d dropped it, you’d wrapped both arms around his waist, and didn’t release the entire night

- you freaked when he passed out after void turned to dust

- but when he woke up, you were more relieved than you’d ever been before

- the both of you went together to get clothes for Allison’s funeral

Is this one okay?” you would ask softly

“I think it’s beautiful”

“Stiles you said that about the last four”

- your hand was wrapped in his throughout the entire ceremony

- and after, you him Scott Lydia and Kira went to the McCall house, just wanting to grieve together

- it took you a few weeks to find actual peace, but Stiles was there with you through all of it

- but the day Stiles came to your doorstep an eager and boyish grin on his face as he told you Malia Tate (a girl who’d quickly become your friend) was his girlfriend, you’d lied to him for the first time

good for you Stiles, I’m glad you found someone who made you happy”

while on the inside it was more like…

“that’s great Stiles, not like I had my fucking heart on my fucking sleeve for you.  glad that you found someone who’s better than me”

- but he was smiling so happily, you couldn’t tell him the truth

- Scott chewed you out for lying, Kira chewed you out for not telling Stiles you loved him, and Lydia chewed you out for not jumping Stiles’ bones when you’d had the chance

- and every time there was some sort of opportunity for you to say something to Stiles, Scott would give you a look, or Lydia would kick you under the table, or Kira would cough.  Sometimes all three

- but you were somewhat friends with Malia.  and you were friends with Stiles.  So you let them have their relationship, and you slowly grew away from Stiles

- you became closer with Liam, a new beta, and his friend Mason

- you loved Mason

Scott, Scott who’s that kid she’s talking to? Since when did she go for freshmen?”

“Stiles, he’s gay, and you have a girlfriend”

- you didn’t know this, but every time Scott reminded Stiles of his girlfriend, he did it bitterly.  

Is uh… is Stiles and Malia going okay?”

I dunno why don’t you ask”

- Scott became a very bitter person when either of you brought up the other.  But Lydia would back him up with something snarky

- when in Mexico, watching Stiles let Malia dance dirty with him, went right on the list of things that would haunt your dreams.  Which sucked, seeing that being stalked, attacked, and your best friend being murdered was on the same list

- you ended up getting yourself strapped to an electric chair, and Scott took most of the blows, but you got one for mouthing off to the Calevera’s henchman

- Stiles had screamed your name when you were released, your spasming body falling to the ground.  But Lydia had gotten to you first, and Stiles just stood and watched as she held you and asked if you were alright repeatedly

I-I-I-I’ll b-b-be al-alright” 

- when the spasming ended, she helped you up, and Stiles couldn’t tear his eyes off you

- he’d never been jealous of Lydia before, but her arm around your waist as she walked you back out to the jeep seemed threatening to him

- you sat in the backseat on the ride home (the day was interesting… a young Derek being in the backseat and weird bone men attacking Kira and Malia.  Not to mention the Calevera’s torturing you) Scott and Kira were on his bike following the Jeep.  Malia in  your  the passengers- seat.  And you were wedged between the younger version of Derek Hale, and Lydia on your other side

- young Derek was hitting on you, and you just let it happen.  What? you liked the way Stiles would glare at the teen through the rear view mirror

- you’d gone with Scott Malia and Peter to the school for the Hale loft, and ended up getting attacked by Berserkers

- Stiles came to pick you guys up, and yelled at you for going.  you’d stayed silent, not wanting to break the friendship you were painfully keeping up.

- Scott took you home on the motor bike, and when he dropped you off he asked you how much it was hurting you before you went to the door

I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“I know when you lie, y/n”

“Then it seems to me you knew the answer when you asked the question”

- and when he heard your voice crack before you walked away, he did know the answer.  more certain this time anyways

- you went to Lydia’s party, before it was a party anyways, and the blonde freshman lacrosse player, was hitting on you all.  night.  At one point he had himself leaning against you, both arms caging you against the wall.

Alright, really, you’re nice, but you’re too young for me and I’m not interested-”

“Come on babe, age is just a numb-”

“She said she wasn’t interested”

- your has had widened impossibly further when Stiles had pried the boy off of you 

go screw your actual girlfriend Stilinski” was all the boy said

- but thankfully he had left after that

- you’d exchanged a glance with Stiles, and he’d asked quietly if you were alright.  You nodded, thanked him, then excused yourself to find Lydia

- you told Lydia everything that happened in the last twenty minutes

- the entire pack spent the night at the lake house, even Liam did, spending most of the time talking with Scott about what being a werewolf meant

- the same blonde boy, Garret, tried to kill you a week later, to which you’d hit him over the head a few times with a bat before sprinting through the almost empty school, finding Scott, who told you the other girl, Violet had tried to kill him for being a werewolf

I’m on the deadpool”

- the realization meant you weren’t as human as you thought.  you’d said this at the pack meeting, and for some reason, your eyes were locked with Stiles’.  before Malia pulled his attention back to her

- so you went from researching with Stiles, to researching with Lydia

- you found out that you were a witch.  not the broomstick kind, but the kind with telekinesis.  You figured that the bite triggered it in you, but never really proved that theory

- so you did some training with Liam, both of you learning about your powers together since he was still trying to get the hang of the werewolf thing

- but you still missed Stiles miserably, and Lydia was the one who seemed to notice the most

y/n i love you, but you’re miserable.  All the time”

- and she was right

- so one night, on a total whim at 10 pm, you drove yourself over the Stilinski house hold to talk to Stiles.  Maybe tell him your true feelings, or just talk, because he had to notice the change in your relationship, right?

- but fate was against you that night.  your car got a flat tire, which lead to Kate kidnapping you and dragging your sorry lover ass to Mexico

- Stiles lost his freaking mind

- when the pack (+ a shady ass Peter) came to get you, Scott was long turned into a berserker

- and when he broke free from the curse, Peter revealed his true intentions, and knocked you out with one blow

- you woke up to a lot of movement, and barely opened your eyes to see Stiles carrying you, yelling that you were going to be okay over and over again

- you just smiled a little bit, and leaned into him as he brought you to the jeep

- he let you sit in the passenger’s seat on the ride home

- Lydia hugged you tight, and screamed at you for having a death wish

- you her Malia and Kira had a sleepover, where you might have had some drinks and maybe proclaimed your love for Stiles

- but Malia was actually cool with it

- you forgot all about it the next day

- that summer, all of you went to San Diego together, and promised each other to make it a tradition

- senior year was gonna be bad, and it was all Stiles would talk about.

I mean Theo? he seemed really shady don’t you think y/n? Don’t you think?”

“no, I think you mean to say he seemed dreamy

- you didn’t know how much more shady that made Theo seem to Stiles

- you opened up with him more though.  your friendship was still mending back together, but at least he no longer ignored you

- Theo made his advances on you, and when he asked oyu out, you’d happily said yes

- when you told Stiles, he made a face

what? I thought it was sweet”

“well I think he has other plans.  why else would he ask you out?”

- Stiles immediately realized his mistake

wow Stiles.  so what reason would a guy ask me out if he wasn’t trying to use me?”

- there were tears in your eyes as you stormed out of the house, ignoring Stiles as he yelled after you

- you went on your date with Theo, and he was a real gentleman

- you made big deals about kissing in front of Stiles

he reeks of jealousy”

“that’s not jealousy Theo, that’s just anger.  and that’s what we’re going for”

- after two weeks of this, you were trapped in your room on a school night, reading up on chimeras when there was a knock on your front door.  you didn’t expect Stiles to be standing there

we need to talk”

“if this is about Theo, then go home Stiles because-”

“I don’t care about Theo, I did something bad y/n”

- you’d quickly ushered him in, and upstairs to your room

- he began to cry, and you rubbed his back comfortingly, throwing all your past conflicts out the window, just wanting the boy whom your heart ached for to feel safe here

- you weren’t expecting him t tell you that he’d killed Donovan, but you sure weren’t mad at him like you thought he’d be

you don’t hate me?”

“no” you answered softly

- you had a movie night together, and for a few hours, it seemed great, pocorn fights, for a whole Star Wars film you’d even slept on his shoulder

- you were woken up by Stiles getting up, and cleaning the area

you can stay the night if you want, my parents aren’t home”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Malia’s probably already waiting for me at home, and I don’t think your boyfriend would like me staying over night with you”

- surprisingly, his voice wasn’t dripping with sarcasm, or bitterness, but with reget, and a sad undertone.  you’d nodded, and followed him to the door as he put on his shoes and jacket

- you told him to get home safe, and he pulled you in for a hug that you hadn’t had in so long that just… replenished your well being

- Theo was a lying, bitchy, manipulative, jerk

- Lydia was admitted into Eichen

- Liam hated Scott

- Kira was with skin-walkers

- Stiles broke up with Malia

- and you were broken

“you were right you were right” you cried to Stiles on his doorstep in the pouring rain.  “I should’ve listened you’re always right”

“Shh..shh come inside”

- he wrapped you up in blankets and towels until your body stopped shaking, and you broke down to him, just like you had both done before.  You told him how you missed Lydia and Kira, how Malia wasn’t talking to you (to which he said ditto) and how Scott steered clear of everybody

- you fell asleep in his arms

- it was difficult, but the two of you had managed to cinch the pack back together, enough to kidnap Kira, and plan to save Lydia

- Theo’s pack seemed to have plans for her too, and you ended up getting held hostage by Theo in Eichen

- Scott and Stiles found you, his claws to your throat

- and you’d never seen Stiles so furious

- Scott ended up kicking ass, and you were thrown into Stiles’ arms

- YOU SAVED LYDIA!!!

- the pack barely did it but they escaped, and all went to Deaton’s where the emissary and Scott Kira and Malia stayed in the operation room to help Lydia

- you went to sit outside on the curb of the vet, needing frfesh air to clear your mind

- Stiles followed you and sat beside you

I was really freaked out tonight… when..uh.. when Theo had you”

“Trust me, I was to” You managed a soft laugh, and glanced over at him.  His eyes were stuck down on his shoes.

I didn’t like the thought of… of you being gone… or something” Stiles added in a weak voice.  Again, you smiled a little bit at him.

I’m not going anywhere Stilinski, you’ve got nothing to worry about” You put your hands into the pockets of the hoodie (the red one you’d stolen from Stiles earlier that night)

yeah but… but what if something did”

“Stiles” You turned to him.  “I’m fine, really, I don’t have a single cut, I’m okay, you don’t have to worry so much-”

- Stiles Stilinski had cut you off, leaning forward, cupping your cheeks, and kissing you for the very first time.  It was a long, warm, and very passionate kiss

y/n, I do have to worry… I-I love you-”

- you cut him off, holding his own face in your hands, leaning forward, and kissing him for the very second time in a needy, emotions displayed kiss

I love you too Stiles”

- you had a few happy tears in your eyes as you two kissed a few more times, only slightly aware of the pack watching you through the windows of the building

- you pretended not to notice Kira giving Scott thirty bucks

- Stiles drove everyone home, dropping you off last and trailing you to your doorstep

- he promised you that when all the Dread Doctor business was over, that he’d take you on a real date, to which you nodded, and kissed him quickly on the tips of your toes, before saying goodnight and heading inside for the night

- you high fived Stiles when Theo was dragged to the pits of hell, and that very night, went out on your first date

- it was a picnic at the overlook in the Beacon Hills Preserve, and it was beautiful.

- lots of kisses

- a really lot

- his hand was wrapped around yours as he drove you home, and as always, he stood with you at your door

I’m not usually one for taking boys home after a first date, but my parents aren’t home and I don’t wanna wait anymore”

- the infamous Stilinski smirk as you were pressed against the door in a matter of seconds, and familiar warm lips sealed yours

- the sex was nothing less of hot

- neck kisses, you weren’t surprised Stiles loved hickeys

- he let you set the pace, and asked you for consent five too many times

- the look on his face was priceless when you snapped on the sixth time, and you’d told him to shut up and fuck your brains out

- (but hey, he did just that)

- and after you fell asleep together, him on his back and your front pressed into his side, your head on his bare chest and falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat in your ear

- lazy morning sex

- then shower sex

- then he made you breakfast, and you giggled half way through eating it

what?”

“oh nothing, I’m just surprised you haven’t thrown me onto the table yet”

“well I was waiting for you to finish eating”

- he wasn’t lying.  *clears throat and sputters*

- you applied for a lot of colleges together.  but here and there you’d come across one that seemed good for you, but would be far from Stiles.  You applied, on the off chance you even had the ability to get in, but didn’t tell him about the ones in New York, or Tennessee.

- you told Lydia, because you couldn’t just keep it to yourself.  There was a certain hype that came with college applications.  Lydia hated keeping secrets nowadays, but promised not to tell.  You never questioned her loyalty

- but one day you were telling her and Malia about a university in Maine called Colby.  How great it seemed, but how you had other options that would keep you and the pack closer to Beacon Hills.  You may have gotten a little vocal about the situation.

You want to go to school in Maine?” you’d whirled around so fast upon the voice of your boyfriend.  Lydia and Malia ran off as soon as you were looking away.

“N-no-”

“But you applied there?” Stiles asked, his voice a prime example of broken.

“Yes- but I didn’t- it was more of a wonder really” You felt guilty immediately.  “Stiles I didn’t want to.. I wasn’t- it was just-” You stopped trying to talk to take a deep breath.

Do… do you still want the vision?” He asked, stepping closer.  Your hands wrapped around his forearms.

“Of course I do Stiles, I want that with you” You said.  “I mean it, I want that” He nodded, eyes flickering to the ground with uncertainty.  “Stiles I love you, and the idea of going to college with you… maybe rent an apartment or something, really starting our.. our future? You held onto him tighter, and he looked at you.  “That excites me and frightens me at the same time okay?” He nodded.

- dramatic kisses

- everywhere.

- all the time.

- sometimes in lunch after a particularly difficult day in class, you’d wrap both arms around one of Stiles’, and lay your head on his shoulder in a half nap.

- but other days he’d have an arm around your waist, or your hands would be intertwined on one of your legs, or on the table.

- pushing him to take his class picture

y/n, I already took it”

“Uhm, no you didn’t Stiles.  There’s no photo here”

- Stiles argued with you for a bit bout, until you ended up dragging him to get his picture taken, again.

- Malia and you became really close friends, like connected at the hip kind of close.  It surprised everyone, but it made you happy.  Friends were important to keep close in this town

- Stiles called you later that night.

Baby what’s wrong it’s one am?” You’d mumbled upone answering.

“I-I saw- I saw them” His shaky voice replied.

Saw who Stiles?” You asked, sitting up in bed now.

“The ghost riders” 

- you went to his house to spend the night, and talked for a long time about what it all meant.  You fell asleep crying in his arms, and him cooing and hushing you while running his fingers through your hair.

- the next day at school you’d clung to him like crazy

- he was taken that night, you’d been sitting in the jeep with him, holding onto him so tightly you were sure it would be impossible for anyone to get him.  He’d repeatedly told you he loved you, anything he could.

y/n please try-”

“I couldn’t ever forget you Stiles” You said, crying hard as tears blurred your vision.  “I love you, I love you so much you’ll never know.  I want everything with you, I still do, I want us to go to college together, Stiles I wasnt to spend the rest of my life with you” You sobbed, and he held you tight, and leaving bruising kiss on your lips.

“I want that too y/n, I want that too” Your arms wound around his neck, holding him closer as his head was buried into your neck.

- you still cried in the jeep even after he was pried away from you, and dragged out through the door.


hehehehe this is sooo long I’ve had this in my drafts for months.

anywho here’s somethin a lil extra to just top off my excitement for being back on tumblr again

Seventeen as the Mafia + How He Met You

||| Requested by @dreamiedragon |||


S.Coups/Choi Seungcheol

Originally posted by sevixxteen

  • That type of leader that doesn’t take shit from anyone, except his members because he can’t fight them all at once. 
  • Gets to know and observes people for a long time before recruiting them
  • He’s very stressed lately as they are a relatively new gang and there are a lot of fights going on with others for territories.

He met you in one these fights when you tried to make a distraction for your gang. You were about to go upstairs to the roof when you bumped into him

“Who the hell are you?” he asked immediately taking his gun out and pointing it at you.

“The same goes for you. You’re not from my gang so I’m here to kill you.”

“Oh really.” he asked smacking the gun from your hand and getting your hands behind your back. “You chose the wrong member. You see I’m the boss and now I can use you as a hostage.”


Yoon Jeonghan

Originally posted by visual-17

  • Looks like an angel and he actually is but in reality he’s the one you should be afraid of the most.
  • Nobody has seen him kill anybody because his methods are too cruel to do them in public.
  • Apparently has some beef with EXO’s Sehun. No one dares ask him but it has something to do with Sehun mistaking him for somebody.

By accident you got involved in a weapon dealing incident with him and he has been planing on killing you ever since. You were good at hiding your tracks but he saw you one day in the city and decided to get rid of you just there in the street but then realized that this fight would probably end up in a blood bath so instead he approached you in secret.

“You have to keep quite and come with me, if you don’t want to die here.” he said pressing his gun to your back.


Joshua/Hong Jisoo

Originally posted by jihanlife

  • Nobody knows why he’s in the gang as he was never invited.
  • When Seungcheol first noticed Jisoo he thought he’s a spy or something (as he appeared out of nowhere) and was about to kill him when he promised that he’s good at at least something
  • And he was, to everyone’s surprise Jisoo’s aim and accuracy is the best out of all of them that’s why he prefers snipers.

He was told to get rid of you silently but you noticed him at the last second and he missed the shot causing a massive panic in the street. You used this opportunity to escape which made Jisoo even more angry. He hasn’t missed a shot in a long time and was determined to get you for that. But whenever he thought he got you cornered he somehow managed to miss and after a while he started to enjoy this little game of yours and soon realized that he doesn’t even want to kill you anymore.


Jun/Wen Junhui

Originally posted by jisoos-princess

  • Pro at hand to hand combat.
  • Trains all the members and teaches them different fighting techniques just in case.
  • His training routine is no joke and everyone is practically dead after it.

He met you before he joined the gang. You were jogging at the same park every morning. As it was really early and not a lot of people were out it became like a habit for him to greet you before he ran past. Eventually he wanted to engage in not only small talk and find out more about you and he started slowing down every single day till he was running at the same pace as you.

“Finally decided to slow down?” you asked.

“Only for you.” he winked.


Hoshi/Kwon Soonyoung

Originally posted by fyhoshi

  • Experimented a lot and finally came up with his own method to make drugs.
  • They were incredibly popular and so he quickly went up the ranks and now whenever there is deal going on it has to go through him first.
  • His first idea was to make poison but he somehow made drugs so nowadays he likes mixing different ingredients to try to create a new deadly weapon.

You had the audacity to attempt to take his throne as the king of drug dealing. You were stubborn and despite a lot of orders to report what you’re doing, you made your way around and stole half of his clients. He had enough and thought that the easiest way to fix this problem would be to get rid of you. But he had no idea you thought the same thing and somehow got his whole warehouse blown up. He caught you outside.

“You little shit, now you will have to take responsibility and I’m not letting you go any time soon.”


Jeon Wonwoo

Originally posted by visual-17

  • Likes money. A lot. And doesn’t like sharing. At all.
  • Easiest way for him to get rich was cards that’s why he started gambling at a really young age and now is a pro at it and is amazing at bluffing.
  • Enjoys tricking his own gang members and actually gets the most money out of them.

Played poker with him once. He lost. Now he wants his money back but you keep denying his challenge. He usually shows up at the most random places just to ask you. You got into your car and almost spilled your coffee when you noticed him sitting in the back seat.

“Wonwoo what the fuck?”

“Come on Y/N, let’s play.”

“Can you get over that already? Get the hell out of my car.”

“I guess I have to take some more drastic measures.” he said taking his gun out. “We’re going to my place.”


Kim Mingyu

Originally posted by fuckyeahmingyu

  • Can smuggle anything in and out starting from stolen cars and ending with guns.
  • Doesn’t stay in the city for too long as he always has deals all around the country.
  • But when he comes back everyone is extremely happy to see him as he’s mostly chill and just being near him calms the others down.

He met you when he was away on a trip. You asked him for help when your car broke down and he fell in love at first sight. He stayed in the city for more than two months just to keep seeing you and you eventually became good friends when Seungcheol was done with him ignoring his orders and went to get him back himself. Well Mingyu obviously didn’t want to leave you but you didn’t want to go to another city either so he decided to be blunt.

“Y/N I don’t know how you feel about me but love you so I’m sorry but you have only two choices, you either go with me on your own free will or I take you by force.”

 

Woozi/Lee Jihoon

Originally posted by seungcheofine

  • Somehow the ones who look the most innocent are the most dangerous in this gang. The same goes for Woozi. But he only uses violence when it’s necessary.
  • His specialty - torture. Favourite methods - teeth and fingernails pulling.
  • He charms his targets with his cute appearance and then gets every last bit of information they can muster.

You were unfortunate enough to be his target. You were screaming in pain for at least and hour, swearing that you don’t know anything when Seungcheol came in and told him that they got the wrong person. He set his tools aside and stood in silence for a few minutes.

“Fuck!” he shouted shoving everything from the table. You just watched in horror not knowing what’s going to happen next. He turned around and untied you. He was ashamed of himself and couldn’t look you in the eyes.

“At least let me treat you your wounds.”


DK/Lee Seokmin

Originally posted by livinthediamondlife

  • Is responsible for looking after the gang territories and making sure they don’t get taken over.
  • Usually doesn’t think twice when someone trespasses and just shoots them on the spot.
  • But still has incredibly good and friendly relationships with the residence of the areas he’s taking care of.

Trying to bypass through his territories was a big mistake. He noticed you’re not a local and decided to find out what you’re doing here. 

“Hey you!” he called you over but you just looked at him and started running. 

“What the heck?!” he thought as he started chasing you. You didn’t know the streets well and ended up in a dead end.

“I got you cornered. Now you’re going to tell me what you’re doing here or I will have to use violence.”


The8/Xu Minghao

Originally posted by mountean

  • He’s great at annoying and pissing everybody off easily but it’s hard to catch him as he’s incredibly fast.
  • That’s why they send him when their is a need to infiltrate, spy or track anybody.
  •  That doesn’t always work out as he likes to make either a grand entrance or exit and by doing that he attracts the attention of anybody nearby.

He was following you to get some information when he lost you. Suddenly he felt a knife press into his back.

“Why are you after me? Who hired you?”

He tried to take you by surprise by turning around and taking the knife out of your hands but he lost his balance and fell on top of you.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” you asked.

“Well this is quite the unfortunate situation you got yourself in.” he smirked. “If you promise not to make a scene our meeting won’t take long.”


Boo Seungkwan

Originally posted by infinitblaq

*Jun shows up out of nowhere*

  • One of the first members who joined and everybody is thankful for that every single day because they wouldn’t have got where they are without him.
  • The missions he plans have a 99% chance of success.
  • Failure is not an option for him so he makes detailed strategies for all type of possible scenarios.

What a surprise You showed up at the wrong place at the wrong time and ruined all his perfect planing. The members haven’t seen him this pissed in a long time when he grabbed you and almost dragged you to one of the rooms. He roughly pushed you inside and you almost tripped on your own legs but his gentleman side couldn’t let a lady fall in front of him even when he was angry so he caught you midair and watched how confused you became by the second.

“Sit.” he said pulling you up and pointing you to the chair. “We have to talk.”


Hansol Vernon

Originally posted by sneezes

  • Knows anything and everything and the others should learn from him how to get verified information as fast as he gets.
  • Good with electronics that’s why he never goes anywhere without his trusted computer.
  • Despite some members protests he tends to sell the rarest info for big amounts of money to the other gangs.

He find out about you when he wanted to sell some info but the gang told him they already have what they need. Surprised that somebody besides him found it, he was determined to track you down. He was even more shocked when he saw that you’re a woman as there was not a lot of them in the industry.

“What? You think only men can do this type of work?”

“No but I find the women who do incredibly sexy.”


Dino/Lee Chan

Originally posted by dino-net

  • Despite being the youngest he knew about the mafia world the most.
  • His father had a gang and was killed during a deal so he asked Seungcheol for help to someday avenge him.
  • Takes all advice given to him very seriously and tries his best to help.

Some trusted former members of his father gang were asked to take care of him so that’s why you followed him and also joined this gang. He found this annoying as he wanted to escape his past and always treated you harshly but when he noticed that you’re not around anymore he got kind of sad. But to his delight you came back after a few weeks after taking care of business.

“Missed me?” You smirked.

“Please don’t ever do that again.” he said, giving you a surprise hug.


A/N: I wonder if I should make a masterlist but I’m so lazyyy… Anyhow, feel free to request more scenarios, reactions etc. I keep up with a lot of groups, both male and female!! 😄

YOI Fan Rec Friday

(3/3/17)

I got A LOT of great recs this week, thank you! 

If you don’t see your rec, it means that it’s going to be on next week’s list!

Rec’d by @kookyfan​:
not gold like in your dreams by ebenroot, Teen, 29k (WIP)
In which Victor and Yuuri are roommates and Yuuri has a secret.
a silver splendour, a flame by thehandsingsweapon, Not Rated, 52k (WIP)***Major character death
Both Viktor and Yuuri have their reasons for hiding the full extent of their gifts – Viktor’s been hurt before, when his own powers were used against him; Yuuri’s been warned that everyone will want his; what will happen when Yuri comes of age, and in doing so, makes two very bright stars finally cross?

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
The Weight of Gold by barrelrider, Not Rated, 13k
Yuri’s big win at the Grand Prix final poses questions about the future that he hadn’t thought to ask before. And Viktor doesn’t seem interested in answering them.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
You Can’t Plan for Everything by RivDeV, Explicit, 123k (WIP)
Yuuri forgets that he has a scheduled heat coming up until it’s just a couple weeks away. He scrambles to get everything ready in time, including deciding whether he’ll spend it alone or with someone. Victor only wants to help.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by @hellagaytbh​:
he was a sk8er boy she said see you l8er boy by bookybookworm, Teen, 13k (WIP)
pika+chu: hello friends
katsudon-yuri: ummm
katsudon-yuri: what is this
pika+chu: this, young yuri, is a group chat

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Love So Life by shamarmon, Teen, 98k (WIP)
Yuuri Katsuki was simply living his college life, teaching ice skating lessons to little kids, when suddenly his idol and champion figure skater Victor Nikiforov bursts in and requests that he start babysitting his three year old nephew, Yuri Plisetsky.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
viktor nikiforov is a nightblogger by thishasbeencary, Teen, 2.9k
Yuuri started a mental list of the small things Viktor did that annoyed him about a week after going to Russia, and texted Phichit every time he added something new.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Love Doesn’t Discriminate, Between the Winners and the Fakes, It Skates and It Skates and It Skates by TheSecretUchiha, Gen, 35k (WIP)
Yuuri opens his eyes and there’s an angry man speaking Russian at him and a crowd of expectant fans waiting for a performance by the best skater in the world.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by @flyingsuits-blog-blog
a million miles from your desperate days by idrilka, xyai, Mature, 11k
Victor came to Hasetsu with the force of a hurricane and managed to make himself right at home at Yu-topia, somehow fitting into the quiet rhythm of their lives. Maybe this means that Yuuri will fit into Victor’s life in Saint Petersburg, too, against all odds or reason.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
‘Cause I’m a Taker, ‘Cause I’m a Giver, It’s Only Nature by ken_ichijouji (dommific), Explicit, 52k (WIP)
The story of how Yuuri Katsuki slept with, dated, fell in love with, and married Victor Nikiforov. Yes, in that order.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous and anonymous and anonymous:
Beside the Dancing Sea by lily_winterwood, MapleTreeway, Explicit, 164k (WIP)
New York Times-bestselling author Viktor Nikiforov arrives in the sleepy seaside town of Torvill Cove to cure his writer’s block. After encountering local wallflower Yuuri Katsuki at a party, he discovers that this mysterious dark-haired man has a couple secrets up his sleeve.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Submission by SuggestiveScribe, Explicit, 8.1k
Viktor leaned forward, breath whispering just behind the shell of Yuuri’s ear, “If my Yuuri wanted me to submit, I would be elated to experience submission.”

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Calligraphia by emilyenrose, Mature, 2.9k
Victor Nikiforov’s Bad Tattoo Choices.
icebreaker by Cesare, Gen, 6.1k
A post-skating-retirement college scenario based on skygemspeaks’ idea about Yuuri’s college classmates learning about his figure skating career.
Decision Making Process (How to NOT to) by Bowandtie, Not Rated, 992 words
The rise of ridiculous myth surrounding Christophe Giacometti’s portable pole.
A Tourist in the Waking World, Never Quite Awake by Erushi, Mature, 5.5k
The crossover/fusion with “Inception”, in which Victor and Yuuri are on the same extraction team and share a Complicated History.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Call Everything on the Ice… by shysweetthing, Explicit, 43k (WIP)
Victor learns Japanese while in Hasetsu. He doesn’t tell Yuuri, and things get dicey when he overhears Yuuri and Mari talking about him in Japanese. Repeatedly.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by @osnapitzhanaa:
Confessions Behind these Bruises by Gayson, Mature, 51k (WIP) ***Graphic Decpitctions of Violence
Introducing the mafia AU nobody asked for about how a cocky self reliant bachelor falls incredibly in love with the adorable sassy dancing protégée of Lilia- Yuuri Katsuki.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Break of Dawn by CatarinaPendejo, Explicit, 58k (WIP)
In which Yuuri is flabbergasted, Viktor is unbelievably spoiled and clingy, Yuri is pissed at everything, Yakov is completely over it, and it’s only been less than a month since the Grand Prix Final.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Or Just Some Human Sleep by Duskisnigh,  Teen, 2.3k
“No, thank you,” Yuuri insisted, holding the broom in front of him like a weapon. “I may be fourteen, and I may have lived a relatively sheltered life, but I am not stupid, and I’m pretty sure you’ve drugged that apple.”

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by @caeillian:
make my heart beat out of my chest 'verse series by xylophones, Teen, 11k (WIP)
Adventures with Yuuri Katsuki, living dance legend, and his ridiculous popstar husband, Viktor “I’m Extra” Nikiforov.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
a place on Earth, with you by melonbug, Explicit, 11k ***Major Character Death
Yuuri didn’t want to die, he didn’t want to die. And he didn’t want to die alone.
The world was ending, and they were just two souls, desperate for someone to share their final days with.

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
get inside you (and mess you up) by drowsycyborg, Mature, 5.6k (WIP)
Of all the witches, bloodmages are the rarest - and the most hunted. There’s good reason to be scared: everyone knows there’s nothing grey about a bloodmage. They’re good or evil; great doctors or terrorists. Wiping out every last one of them was a boon for both the magical and non-magical alike.


Thank you for all your recs! ₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄♡‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎ 

The amazing “YOI Fan Rec Friday” banner was created by @omgkatsudonplease! I love them a lot, check out their blog!

Allow me to rant about Maggie and Sanvers

When we first meet Maggie, we learned three basic things about the character: she’s an out and proud lesbian, she’s a cocky little shit, she cares a lot about people. For a while, this is all we had to hold on to. Maggie’s layers were added painstakingly slowly, and you had to pay attention to see what they were. Looking back, the traits that made Maggie Sawyer the woman we love, were always there, we just didn’t know it.

Keep reading

how I see the signs and what I want them to know
  • (side note - View of a Virgo rising, Leo sun in the 12th, Libra moon in 2nd, mercury Cancer in 11th, venus Leo in 12th, mars Leo in 11th)
  • Aries: was once my best friend, she made literally everything in my life brighter and always helped me to just enjoy things and stop worrying all the time. Also great hugs. Just simply has that energy, wherever it may be - physically, mentally, staying up until you binge watched that show, giving you their last money so you can get yourself something to eat before you starve to death, always down for a talk and a walk even if they had a packed schedule. Please don't miss out on times when you just have to take a day off to get your beautiful and strong energy back. I care about your health so please don't forget to eat properly and don't miss out on that quality time if needed.
  • Taurus: a girl from my drama class and my little sisters moon sign, I am just so in love with your sense for aesthetic. Total sunshines. I feel like I can always rely on you, super compassionate and knows how to make you feel comfortable when youre not. I love that when you have a goal in your mind, you will give your everything to achieve that! Also so humble but like I want you so desperately to know how beautiful I think you are!! I enjoy your company a lot. Please don't be afraid of changes, I know that's such a mainstream thing to write for Taurus but I really do believe that maybe sometimes you need to be reminded that life can also begin at the end of your comfort zone.
  • Gemini: a guy and a girl from biology class, I am literally stunned at how much these people know. Eloquent fluffballs. I could listen to you spreading knowledge 24/7, make great jokes in my opinion and just kind of knows... everyone?? Get along with so many people, can be very chill but also full of energy when they're talking about things they are interested in. Also fun-fact kings and queens. Please remind yourself to stay loyal to your true friends, you may know many people with whom you get along with so well and for sure everyone is intersting in their own way, but it's very possible to feel lonely in a crowd. Your closest friends will always get you out of that and help you, I promise.
  • Cancer: a close friend of mine, literally the most caring person I've ever met. Actual comedians. I don't know I just straight up fell in love with your humour. All the Cancers I know have or had some extreme physical problems going on, please get well soon if you read this and you're also not feeling well. Mentally on the next level, strong and kind of unbreakable. Don't hide their feelings because they just know that when you bottle up your feelings it's never going to end well. They just get you and will be there for you no matter what. Please take care of yourself just as well as you do with your friends and family, you are a true blessing and it's definitely okay to rant or cry or just let it all out.
  • Leo: my english teacher and a guy I used to be close with, very often completely misunderstood and taken for granted, which can lead to unhealthy behaviour. Will make you feel great after a plain shit day. I strive to be this talented at just expressing myself or being confident, even if you just want the world to think you are confident when you're actually not. Cuddly queens and kings. Better not hurt their pride because it took them a lot of time to actually get to that level and in a world where people hate on you for loving yourself, to them it feels like, despite all their work, they are not worth of loving themselves. Please don't forget that although sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and like what you see, there are caring and warm-hearted people who love you just the way you are.
  • Virgo: a girl in my class I simply adore, I always annoy you with my endless compliments. Kind of just in love with these down-to-earth and sweet people. Either super chill or worried a lot, I wish I could just hug you until you feel less stressed. Smol but strong beans you can learn a lot from. So reliable, I actually hate doing group projects and always want to do everything myself but since you share that opinion we created something I was really proud of and now we always do them together. Please remember that passion is something you shouldn't be ashamed of, you simply don't have to be because it's something you love and your needs are valid. Also dreaming big, it's possible, especially for you so why not?
  • Libra: a girl I recently got to know and am already completely amazed by, literal social butterflies who sometimes only know in hindsight how much they enjoyed the company of someone because they adapt so easily and it's rare to find someone where you can just simply be yourself. Love how they view life and that they make me want to talk more. Very open and you never feel excluded because they just know how to include everyone. Please don't forget to remind yourself who you truly are and not to lose yourself in another person, because there really is only one you no matter how good you are at adapting to literally every social situation, you are amazing and I want you to be comfortable as well.
  • Scorpio: my dad and my ex boyfriend's mom, two very caring peole in their own way. I always love how sharp their sarcasm can be. Can comfort extremely well when they want to. So many secrets and things to know about them that I can lose myself in them wanting to explore whats actually behind their shell. Teaches you life lessons. Please don't forget that humans aren't flawless and that's completely okay. You don't have to hold onto old grudges, communication is key and talking about these things, confronting these people who did you wrong will help you grow as a person.
  • Sagittarius: an old friend of mine, very cute people who get interested in so many things and they are so versatile and adventurous I absolutely love their lively nature. Memes™. Total dorks you can fall for in a second. Are actually the best partners to just talk to about anything because they will be interested and share their opinion with you. Please remind yourself that cutting off people can be a very wise decision and you don't have to keep up with everyones shit if that's just not what you're in for.
  • Capricorn: I am literally so attracted to these people it's unreal, although I kind of always think that they don't like me...... anyways, my bigger twin sisters are caps and they are humble souls who really had to fight for a lot in life sadly. So proud of you. Keep up with the hard work, you really deserve everything. So realistic and pure I have heart eyes. Supportive and extremely loyal. Will stand up for you if you need it. Straight face™ but still manages to make even the most serious people laugh. Please remind yourself to not overdo it with the work, take a day off to relax and let yourself go maybe, even if it's hard - with the right people you don't ever have to be afraid of being yourself.
  • Aquarius: my ex boyfriend whom I had a crush on for like 4 years, teached me great life lessons. Will always have a weakness for aquas, they just attract me so much, how much of a fluffy dork can you be tbh? Capacity of acceptance is incredible. So much fun to be with. Are kind of just good at everything? You can talk to them about anything, it won't feel weird, they won't question it and just talk to you about that topic. So friendly, an underrated trait in my opinion, just complete and simple friendliness you enjoy to the fullest. Please remind yourself to let people not only see your amazing shell but also your stunning core, there are people who love to talk about the same things you love and nothing about you is weird, you are special and I absolutely love it.
  • Pisces: a very sweet guy I've been texting with for the past months, very open minded and also have that sensitivity I strive to have. Very inspirational smol puppy. Actual daydreamers™, may be late to school but love deeply and would never neglect your love. Kind of hate almost everything that's planned out? (I'm sorry I just love to plan things out) will hug you no matter what. Does not fear to dream big, is very talented at artsy stuff in my opinion. Please don't forget that even if it seems hard, and yes our school system is kind of very bad,we get to have that education and your dreams will be reality if you work hard enough to achieve them. You have so much potential, please don't ever waste it.
The Song

Note: I don’t know about you guys, but I need some water. I got too into this. OH and idk why but Partition reminds me of Bucky. so I used that, I hope that’s okay! thanks for the request, I really hope you enjoyed this! feedback is ALWAYS welcome! .c

Request: Here’s something I think you’d write really well… Bucky is your boyfriend and you’re a singer and you write all of these seriously sexy songs, he sees your show one night and hears all these hot n heavy songs about him and when he gets you home, he does all sorts. - @fridamoss

-SMUT WARNING-


Singing was one of the things you enjoyed the most. Sure, killing bad guys and fighting alongside your boyfriend and fellow badass teammates couldn’t compare. But this was something you did to get your mind off of it. The process of writing a love song, a song about sadness, or a song about your sexy boyfriend, took you to a place you revisited as often as possible.

You sang at a little open mic place. It had a small stage and a bar, tables littered in between. Pool tables and dart boards near the back. It was usually full when people knew you’d be performing on a certain night during the week. You loved when so many people came to listen to you, even if you were sorta famous for being an Avenger.

Tonight, you were singing a new song you had written. It was about your boyfriend and he was finally able to have a night off. He had been stuck with nightly missions along with Steve and Wanda for a while. Everyone has come to see you, all but them three. Though it was only Bucky coming tonight. Steve had a much needed date with Sharon planned and Wanda was going to be helping Vision with something.

You were extra nervous about tonight. Bucky didn’t know about the songs you sang about him, nor did he know you wrote about him at all. He knew you sang, but this was definitely going to surprise him.

You stared at yourself in the mirror backstage, sighing out. You were wearing a sexy black dress with black heels to match. You tapped your heel nervously against the floor, the sound echoing through the silent dressing room.

The crowd was cheering as Jimmy, the artist before you, had just finished his song. You took a deep breath and walked out of your dressing room, walking down the dimly lit hallway that led to the stage. A girl that worked backstage smiled at you as you walked by. “Good luck!” She said before giving you a gentle pat on your shoulder. You smiled and thanked her softly.

Jimmy walked down the steps and smiled at you. “Good luck out there, Y/N.” He said, holding his guitar by the neck as he gave you a high five. “Thanks Jimmy Jam!” You said, causing him to chuckle at his nickname you gave him a while ago. You slowly walked up the stairs, letting the crowd settle down. Patrick, the owner of the place, was introducing you and you stood at the top of the stairs, waiting for your cue.

Patrick smiled at you, sending you a wink. “And now, who you’ve all been waiting for, may I present to you: Y/N Y/L/N!” The crowd cheered and you walked onto the stage, smiling and waving at the crowd. Patrick gave you the microphone and placed a kiss to both of your cheeks. “Good luck, Y/N.” Patrick said before hopping off the stage. You sighed out and put the mic on the stand.

The crowd finished cheering and you spotted Bucky near the front, a smirk on his face. You winked at him then looked out at everyone. There was a lot more people here than any other night and you swallowed your nerves. “How’s everyone doing tonight?” You asked, the crowd cheering loudly in response. You giggled. “Great. Well, this song is a new one. I wrote it for a certain someone and I hope you like it.” You said, blushing a little as Bucky sat towards the edge of his seat.

The music started playing and the crowd started to cheer, dancing along to the beat. “Driver roll up the partition, please.” Your voice rang through, every lyric sang with sexiness and a sensual feel. Bucky bit his lip as he watched you sing, his eyes drinking in your figure. He listened closely to every word, his eyes glued to yours as you sang words of sultry and utter naughtiness.

You let your hands move up and down your body as you kept singing, staring straight at Bucky. “Hand prints and good grips on my ass.” Bucky’s mouth was agape, his eyes wide, and his thoughts going wild. You knew the effect this song would have on him and you hoped it was working. By the looks of his face right now, you knew you had reeled him in.

You sang and kept your eyes on Bucky. You wrote the last bit in French, knowing Bucky had been brushing up on his language skills. He wanted to learn as many languages as he could, and you knew he was excellent at French. Adding that to the mix was an added bonus. “Est-ce que tu aimes le sexe? Le sexe, je veux dire l'activité physique.” You said, your voice drawing Bucky in even more.

The song came to an end and the crowd cheered as loud as they could, making you smile and blush. “Thank you!” You said before walking off stage. You breathed out and laughed to yourself, covering your mouth with the back of your hand. “Oh my gosh.” You whispered, not believing you just sang that in front of everyone including the man it was about.

You quickly gathered your things and left backstage, walking over to the table Bucky was sitting at. “Hey, baby.” You said, leaning down to press a kiss to Bucky’s cheek, his stubble rubbing against your lips. Bucky turned to you, his eyes following your figure to where you sat across from him. Bucky’s bottom lip was pulled in between his teeth. He was looking at you with that look. That look that meant he wanted you underneath him, begging for him.

Bucky licked his lips and smiled, his white teeth shining as he tucked his hair behind his ear. “That was…” Bucky trailed off, his eyes falling from your eyes, to your lips, then to your cleavage. “Was?” You questioned, leaning in slightly. You raised your heel under the table, rubbing it up against the inside of Bucky’s leg. A small gasp fell from Bucky’s mouth and his eyes shot up to stare into yours. “Doll, we need to get home.” Bucky said, standing to his feet.

You smirked then quickly put on a small frown. “Aww, but I only just finished. Can’t we stay for a bit?” You playfully pouted, slumping your shoulders a tad. “Please?” You added, cupping your hands together. Bucky rubbed his bottom lip, clicking his tongue. 

He stepped over to you and bent down, his metal hand resting on the table as his flesh hand rested on your partly exposed thigh. “Daddy suggests you get your pretty little ass in the car, or he’ll fuck you on this table for everyone to see. Do I make myself clear, Y/N?” Bucky asked, his voice low and taunting.

You gasped and stood to your feet, your pussy becoming wet from his words. Your face was red with blush as Bucky grabbed your hand and kissed your temple. You nervously waved at a few faces in the crowd that said goodbye to you, letting Bucky pull you along to the entrance doors.

The chilly night air made you inhale sharply through your teeth and Bucky hurriedly pulled you along the sidewalk. “Bucky, slow down!” You said, your heels clicking loudly as you all but ran beside Bucky. Bucky slowed per your request and you let out a sigh. “Once we get home, you better be ready.” Bucky said lowly, his arm wrapping around your waist tightly.

You smirked and finally reached the car. Bucky opened your door for you and before you could get in, Bucky came up behind you. You felt his crotch press into you and his hands gently lifted up your dress a tad, his flesh hand rubbing the skin of your inner thigh. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t fuck you right here.” Bucky said, moving your hair to one shoulder, his lips ghosting over the skin of your neck.

A gasp fell from your lips and you closed your eyes. “I-I-” You only managed to let a pitiful stutter fall from your lips as Bucky bit down on your skin, slightly sucking. You moaned out, not caring if you were loud. Bucky smirked and pulled away from your neck with a wet noise. “No reason?” Bucky asked, thrusting his crotch into you.

Bucky was already sporting an erection and your mouth watered at the thought of his glistening red tip and swollen cock. “You wouldn’t want another man to see me get fucked, would you?” You questioned, knowing how jealous and protective Bucky could get.

You smirked to yourself after hearing Bucky sigh heavily and deeply. “Every man in there had his eyes on you. You’re my girl. My Doll. Get in.” Bucky said as he pulled away from you. You bit your lip and got in the car, Bucky shutting your door and crossing over to the drivers side.


Bucky’s hands were all over you as soon as you stepped into the tower, making your way to the elevator. You giggled softly and gasped when you saw Sam and Clint standing near the common room.  Bucky removed his hands from your ass, hoping they didn’t see. “Y/N! How was the show?” Sam asked, a wide smile on his face.

You heard Bucky sigh and you decided to prolong his arousal, making him wait for you. You walked over to the two men, pulling Bucky along. “It was so much fun! Wasn’t it, Bucky?” You beamed, looking up at your overly turned on boyfriend. Bucky nodded, keeping your body in front of his prominent bulge. “It was amazing, baby.” Bucky breathed out shakily, his lips in a tight smile.

Clint raised an eyebrow. “She sang the song.” Sam gasped, looking over at Clint with an amused smile. Clint’s eyes widened and the two men both started to laugh, leaning into each other for support. You blushed and grabbed Bucky’s jacket, pulling him away. “Bye boys.” You sang softly, watching Bucky stare back at them in confusion.

As you stepped into the elevator, Bucky looked down at you. “How’d they know?” Bucky asked, curiosity laced in his husky voice. You shrugged your shoulders a tad. “They found my journal.” You said, being totally honest. Bucky sighed deeply and his hands rested on your hips.

Bucky bent down just enough to where his lips were ghosting over yours. “This dress,” Bucky whispered, tugging on it gently, “needs to go.” Bucky finished, his hands moving down to grip your ass, giving it a harsh spank. You gasped and let out a high pitched moan. Bucky chuckled darkly, his eyes on yours.

The elevator came to a stop and Bucky moved his hands from your ass, pulling you by your hand to his bedroom. Your heels were the only sound in the hallway. Bucky pushed his door open and shut it, shoving your back into it. You grunted softly, looking up at Bucky with an innocent expression.

Bucky bit his lip, his eyes raking up and down your body before they stopped at your mid-section. His hand lifted under your dress, his eyes on your face. You felt his middle finger rub against your clit through your panties, adding a little pressure. Your breathing came out heavy as you looked down, the sight of his arm sticking out from your dress making you whimper.

A soft moan fell from Bucky’s lips as he started rubbing the length of his finger along your slit. “Daddy wants to see how wet you are, Doll. Can he?” Bucky asked, using his other hand to lift your chin up to look at him. You nodded, making a small “mhm” sound. Bucky smirked and used his hands to pull down your panties, his body crouching down as he went.

Bucky’s eyes stayed locked on yours and he was on his knees now, your panties around your ankles. Bucky’s hands made their way up the back of your legs and a shiver coursed through your body. Bucky smirked and lifted your dress, his eyes falling onto your pussy. Bucky let out a breath, licking his lips as a smile tugged at the corners.

You whimpered and shuffled on your heels. “Buckyyy.” You moaned, your impatience growing stronger. Bucky leaned in and used his fingers to spread your lips open. You let your head fall against the door as you felt Bucky’s breath fanning across your pussy. “Y/N, you’re glistening. Are you that turned on?” Bucky asked as if it weren’t the most obvious thing in the world.

You nodded. “I-I am.” You said, looking back down at Bucky. He started to lean in, his tongue sticking out of his mouth. You gasped and breathed heavily, excited to feel his mouth on your pussy. Bucky licked a long stripe from your opening to your clit and you moaned out, your hand flying to his thick hair as the tip of his tongue flicked against your clit.

A groan fell from Bucky’s lips and he attached his lips around your clit, creating small sucking motions as he continued watching your face. Your hips jerked into Bucky and he groaned again, using his tongue to lightly flick across your clit back and forth. “Bucky, yes.” You moaned, tugging on his hair. “More.” You pleaded, watching Bucky’s blue eyes focusing on you.

He smiled against your pussy and he sloppily made out with it, gently wiggling his head back and forth. His hair tickled your thighs and you moaned again, your legs slightly buckling under you. Bucky’s hands held your dress up at your waist, gripping onto you so you wouldn’t fall. “Fuck, you’re so good at this.” You moaned, feeling Bucky’s fingers dig into your waist and you could hear the wet sounds from in between your thighs.

Bucky suddenly pulled away, making you whine. Bucky smirked up at you and his chin was covered in your juices. Bucky slipped your dress over you, letting it drop to the floor. His eyes fell to your breasts, his metal hand reaching up to grasp one. You moaned softly as he pinched your hardened nipple. “You’re so gorgeous.” Bucky said, pulling you over to his bed.

Bucky gently pushed you backwards. You giggled as you bounced slightly on the mattress, biting your lip. Bucky unbuckled his belt, dropping it to the floor. Your eyes were focused on him as he slipped his pants off. You could see his cock in his tight boxers, the sight causing your mouth to water.

You sat up a little to take off your heels, but Bucky grabbed your wrist. “Please, keep them on.” Bucky said, making you smirk. “Yes, Daddy.” You said, leaning back on your elbows. Bucky gripped your ankles, gently yanking you closer to the edge of the bed. “You drive me crazy, Doll. Daddy wants you so bad right now. I need that little pussy of yours.“ Bucky groaned, hovering over you. “I want you to behave, understand?” Bucky asked, staring into your eyes.

Gulping, you nodded. “Yes.” You whispered, feeling small underneath Bucky. “Yes, what?” Bucky asked, spreading your legs open more. You inhaled shakily as his hands left your skin. “Yes, Daddy.” You said, watching Bucky bite his lip. “Good girl.” He praised, standing to his feet. 

“I want you to beg for me, Doll.” Bucky said, slipping off his boxers. You saw his thick cock spring free, a small gasp escaping your lips. You wanted to lean up and shove him into your mouth until he hit the back of your throat, but you knew better. 

Bucky started to slowly stroke his cock, gathering the pre-cum and spreading it along. “You enjoyed teasing me back there, didn’t you?” Bucky asked, the memory of you eye fucking him and seducing him with your hands moving all over your body fresh in your mind. You nodded slightly, letting your eyes slowly drink in his body, until you met his eyes. “I did. I loved it.” You said, moving your right heel to travel up the side of Bucky’s leg.

He smirked and softly slapped it away. You frowned and looked at Bucky innocently. “I want your cock.” You said, spreading your legs more. Bucky’s eyes fell to your pussy and you smirked, reaching your hand down to rub your clit. Bucky growled, quickly moving your hand away. “Behave.” He ordered, making you whine. “Daddy, please. I’m so ready for you.” You said, creasing your eyebrows and biting the tip of your finger.

Bucky watched you closely and you smiled at him. “Please, fuck me. Make me scream.” You begged desperately, watching Bucky’s hand speed up a tad. Bucky swallowed thickly, his eyes raking up and down your body. “Fuck, your pussy is so pretty.” Bucky breathed out, squeezing his cock a little. “Seems like Daddy is losing his patience on his own.” You said, a slight giggle in your voice. Bucky growled and stopped stroking himself.

Bucky gripped your ankles, making you gasp. “You want me to make you scream?” Bucky asked, raising your legs to rest on his broad shoulders. You nodded, licking your lips. “Please, make me scream so loud. I want you to pound into me, make me cum all over you. I need you.” You begged, watching Bucky’s eyes close, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth. “Fuuuck.” He said quietly.

Bucky’s eyes shot open and he gripped his cock, gently rubbing it up and down your slit. You moaned and let your head fall back against the mattress. Bucky slid his tip inside of you, making you gasp. “You’re such a dirty girl.” Bucky said, sliding in further. 

You felt his hands rest by your sides and you looked into his eyes. He smirked and slammed his hips into you. You moaned out louder, his cock filling you up. “Fuck, you’re so big!” You whimpered, making Bucky chuckle. 

He started to thrust in and out of you, his cock hitting your g-spot perfectly. “You’re so tight, Y/N.” Bucky rasped, moving your legs down to wrap around his waist. You gripped onto his hair, your fingers tangling into it tightly. “Fuck me harder, Daddy.” You pleaded, feeling your pussy clench around Bucky’s thick cock. He growled and picked you up by your waist, moving you up towards the headboard.

Your head rested on the pillows and Bucky shoved his cock deeper into you. You moaned, arching your back. Bucky took that chance to suck on one of your nipples, grazing his teeth over it gently. Your hands flew to his hair again, tugging on it harshly. He groaned, his thrusts getting harder, the bed slamming into the wall. “Yes, Daddy!” You screamed. Bucky pulled away and looked at your face, moaning when your mouth fell slack at a particularly hard thrust.

Bucky reached down to rub your clit and you relaxed your back to look down at his cock disappearing in and out of your pussy. “I love your fucking pussy. You’re such a good girl, aren’t you? Writing and singing about me,” Bucky groaned, his cock twitching, “teasing me. Dammit, you’re so beautiful.” Bucky growled loudly, surely the others could hear you two, though you didn’t care.

Your heels dug into Bucky’s back and you gasped for air, feeling yourself getting closer. You tugged on Bucky’s hair and pulled him down to kiss you. You heard him moan as he bit your lip, his hand squeezing your ass, spanking you. “You’re such a fucking good girl for Daddy.” Bucky said against your mouth. You moaned, fighting your tongues together, his dominating yours.

Bucky pulled away, leaning his head against your forehead. Bucky’s thighs slapped against yours and you felt his cock twitch again, making you cry out. “I’m gonna fucking cum!” You yelled, squeezing your legs around Bucky’s waist tightly. Bucky’s thrusts didn’t falter and his hand sped up on your clit. “Daddy wants your cum, Doll. Fuck yeah, I love it when you clench around m-me, FUCK!” Bucky growled, thrusting so hard you were breasts were bouncing up and down.

Your breath caught in your throat and your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you started to cum. You screamed, drawing it out like blood murder. “YES, BUCKY!” You cried out, hearing Bucky moaning as loud as he could. You whimpered loudly, feeling Bucky’s cum filling you up in hot spurts, slowly dripping out of you.

Bucky slammed into you a few more times, riding out both of your orgasms. Bucky collapsed on top of you, both of your breathing heavy and coming out in short huffs. “Holy shit.” Bucky rasped, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. You held Bucky close, your pussy throbbing even more than before. “God, I need to sing to you more often.” You said, breathless. Bucky chuckled lazily, moving off of you.

Bucky sighed, completely worn out. “Fuck.” He said, a wide smile on his face. You turned your head to look at him and you smiled, reaching for his hand. “That was so,” “Amazing.” Bucky finished, making you giggle. 

You slowly sat up, a groan falling from your lips. Bucky helped you up, slipping off your heels. “Was I too rough?” Bucky asked worriedly, standing to his feet. You blushed, loving how he was concerned. “No, I’m just a little sore is all.” You said softly.

You watched Bucky leave and come back with a damp wash rag, cleaning you both up. Bucky gave you one of his t-shirts to wear and he slipped on a pair of clean boxers. He handed you a pair of clean panties you had in his drawer, helping you slip them on. 

You exchanged shy glances and a knock on the door stopped you from saying something. Bucky walked over and opened it and you saw Sam standing there, his eyes meeting yours.

“Can you sing to me?”

Note: LET ME GO DIE? THANKS. .c

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Literally how I became happy.

A lot of you guys are always concerned about me because the more that I share, the more you realize I’m a real person with struggles and issues and I’m not 100% okay 100% of the time haha so I just wanna give an update and share some insight on how I’ve been doing and what I’ve been working on.
The hair cut is the visible part. The change is sooooo real. I look like a different person but I seriously FEEL like one. Surface changes: I live in Tennessee. I have short blonde hair. I’ve now dated two guys that I actually loved. I own a house and a car. Before, I lived in California, I had freaking long brown hair, I shared a mini van with four other people, I’d never been on a date and truly questioned whether I’d ever meet anyone that liked me for who I was, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life past like two years into the future and I felt like I would live with my parents forever. So a lot of big things have changed but honestly the biggest changes happened inside with less visible results. You can only see it in my smile and hear it in my words. But really you’ll see it in my actions over the next 12 months. It’s just the beginning.
I honestly don’t know where it came from. The last six years I have been so passive. My life has been happening to me. There have been some breakthrough moments where I learned a lot about myself and my confidence and self love, yes. I had some good times for sure. But as far as knowing what I want and where I wanna go, I was not good at that. I felt SO powerless and began to withdraw more and more, in my friendships, my career, our band, my family, everything. I shared so little each day, I had so few ideas, I didn’t create much, I only wrote when I was really upset or inspired (which wasn’t that often), I had no social life, no vision for myself, no confidence that anyone would ever love me and I just wasn’t living a rich life at all. I was an observer hoping that one day someone or something would come along and make my life actually enjoyable. I was constantly waiting. I journaled a lot and released a lot of emotion, that part was good. I just felt like I was living in a cave, stuck in the past, not doing much each day to actually experience life.
Then we moved across the country. *shock* *panic* *whoa*. That was the first time I was really shaken up.
Then I had my heart broken. Twice. I fell in love and both times it didn’t work out. I NEEDED that, to meet people who actually got me and appreciated my personality and loved all my quirks and my strange mind and how childlike I am. For the first time I felt understood. I wouldn’t change a thing. I was so closed off for so long and suddenly I was ripped open. Someone was asking for my time and attention and I had to give it to them. I was so scared but I really wanted to experience that side of life so I had to let those people see me and experience who I was. It was so good for me omg. I felt like my heart was shriveled and frozen before that, it had seen the sun maybe three times, but once that happened it absolutely bloomed. Not everyone has to fall in love to open their heart but for me that’s how it happened.
Anyway it was really intense and pushed me to the edge, dealing with that loss. I cut off all my hair. I just had enough. I was so drained. I had felt so vulnerable throughout my dating experiences, such a long period of trusting and hoping after so many years of doing the opposite, I guess I became a little over exposed. I pictured myself feeling tough and strong after a particularly intense weekend of fighting and I saw myself with no hair. It was kind of a crazy idea at first but it turned into a real desire. After a few days of thinking it over, I took the plunge.
What. A. Rush.
Suddenly I just wanted to feel alive. I went a little overboard but I did so many things. Concerts, road trips, bonfires, social plans nonstop, shopping, reinventing my style… I was really hurting during this time and I just wanted to feel better. I don’t regret doing so much but I’m glad I came down after a month and examined myself. I realized how much I was hurting and I faced it. I felt scared, hurt, abandoned, broken and vulnerable but it was comforting to identify that. Once you face it, you can feel it, release it and eventually let it go.
In October I realized I wanted more. I actually had dreams. Cutting my hair showed me I could have an idea, see it through and that it could actually go well! I wanted that on a bigger scale. I started writing again, all the time. I took an interest in my appearance again. Before, I just wanted people to think I’m pretty. Of course I still do but now it’s so much more than that. It actually is for me. When my outfit/makeup/overall look matches my mood, I feel so much more confident, comfortable with myself and ready to take on the day. Even in my work out clothes, I always try to coordinate them now and make them feel good because I know I just do more with my day when I feel confident and ready to put myself out there. You don’t need to look perfect AT ALL, in fact sometimes that can cause more stress because it puts more pressure on you. Just take the time to put yourself together and feel GOOD about what you’re wearing each day. It seriously makes a huge difference. And especially DO NOT wear anything that makes you feel bad. GET RID OF IT!!!! All your clothes should make you feel cute in some way.
Idk how this happened but I kind of just realized nothing is a big deal. The way I used to live, EVERYTHING was a HUGE deal. Texting a guy? Leaving the house? Spending 30 dollars? Calling someone first? All terrifying things I dreaded and avoided at all costs. I had to work through so much INTENSE anxiety when I first started dating, it was really sad how much that freaked me out and how much I had to work through just to get to a point where I felt comfortable going on one date or being the object of a man’s attention. I felt so incredibly unworthy.
Anyway, maybe it was the hair cut but sometime around then I just became really bold. Right now I feel like almost nothing scares me. My biggest fear is probably trusting people that have hurt me. That’s one thing I can think of that I’m struggling with and truly terrifies me, trying to rebuild broken relationships. I’m having help working through that. Other than that, there are so few things I won’t try, won’t pursue, won’t say to someone. I am becoming more bold, confident, comfortable in my own skin and sure of myself with each passing second. I just feel GOOD. Nothing is that big of a deal! Seriously force yourself to take more risks and you’ll quickly understand what I mean. You can spend weeks, months, even years fearing things and trying to predict what will happen but once you finally do them you’ll see just how unnecessary all that stress was. Nothing is that hard, that daunting, that permanent. Heck, even tattoos can be removed these days.
I think that was the biggest change of all so far: the removal of fear. Fear used to be the gas in my tank, it absolutely fueled me. Now it’s faith. I am so ON FIRE for my life!!!!!! I have so many exciting dreams I want to pursue, so much I want to create, so many places I want to go, things I want to experience, learn, master, people I want to meet and be around….. I love it all. I decide what I want and I go after it. I look at myself in the mirror and I smile. I’m starting to look as bold and unique as I feel. The long hair was beautiful and fun and maybe one day I’ll want it back but for now, it just feels too plain for how colorful and out of the box my mind is. I always used my mind a lot but I wasn’t exploring it much before. Now that I’m embracing my unconventional brain, I just want to express that openness and share it with the world.
Also I’ve noticed I’m getting disappointed comments from traditional, conformist men I never wanted to date anyway that used to love my hair 😂 so no offense but I was never interested in you anyway, there are soooooo many long haired women in the world you can comment on that you’ll probably never even meet but i’m just one less you need to worry about hahaha. All of the bold men that liked me before just like me more now. And I think it’s because I also like myself more! Confidence attracts confidence! I’m growing into the baller I was born to be and it’s just helping me attract more ballers 😂😂
BTW THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING LONG HAIR OR A MORE SIMPLE STYLE I FULLY SUPPORT IT. YOU DONT HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A CRAZY PERSON OR LIVE A WILD UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE TO BALL OUT ON EVERYONE THATS JUST HOW I CHOOSE TO DO IT HAHA. EVERYONE IS A BALLER IN THEIR OWN WAY I EMBRACE AVERAGE LOOKING PEOPLE AND WILD LOOKING PEOPLE, AS LONG AS YOURE LIVING A LIFE YOU LOVE AND CHOOSING WHAT TRULY FULFILLS YOU!!!!!!!!!!! WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE JUST LIVE IT BECAUSE YOU LOVE IT 🙌🏼
Anyway, I feel so much more confident in myself, men or no men. It’s funny cuz I finally stopped worrying about guys and now I actually interact with them the way I always wanted to hahaha.
I no longer rely on the approval of others to get through the day. I no longer feel paralyzed by fear every morning and night. I no longer ponder whether I’m worthy of a date or not. I no longer look in the mirror and sigh. I no longer think of the future as a blurry grey blob filled with hopelessness, uncertainty and fear. I know it will be whatever I make it and I am going to make it freaking phenomenal.
That’s a huge key, putting YOURSELF in the drivers seat. Forget this message of victimization. You are the person holding yourself down but YOU can be the one to lift yourself up!!!! Wow I just got a huge craving for meat loaf and mashed potatoes. HAHAHA. Anyway, put yourself in control. Ask God for guidance. Trust that you are taken care of always because YOU ARE. Embrace yourself. Stop thinking you have to be perfect. Stop thinking you’re unlovable. Realize how cool you are and how much you have going for yourself. Jump in and try things. Stop thinking you have to be “ready”. THE LESSONS OF FAILURE ARE FAR MORE VALUABLE THAN THE PRIZES OF SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!
On that note, go kill it. Embrace yourself. Blossom. Live. Come alive. You got this 👊🏼💗

anonymous asked:

How about a blurb where harry shows his girlfriend how he edits/records a song etc? it could be cute/fluffy/smutty ??

I could hear the soft rumble of bass coming from the basement the moment I opened the front door which meant one thing.  Harry was downstairs in the studio.  Usually I avoided going down there when he was in creative mode.  I didn’t want to bother him or get in the way.  He always used to tell me how hard it was for him to get going on an idea so I didn’t want to take him out of the zone.

But today, today was different.  I had spent the morning arguing with my mother about living in Harry’s house even though we weren’t married.  She was a southern belle and you “just didn’t do that” where she came from.

The afternoon was a series of one meeting after another where the males in my company felt it necessary to speak to me as if I were stupid.

And somewhere in the middle was a lunch that I spilled on myself after the fork went through they styrofoam.

I needed comfort, closeness, familiarity.

I needed Harry.

Was it selfish?  To go downstairs and interrupt him just because I’d had a bad day?  It was.  I admit it.  But I just needed a few minutes of cuddling while he kissed my hair and held me close.  I promised myself I’d go right back upstairs and leave him alone.

I crept down the stairs as silently as possible, making my way to the door.  I heard the playback of a song he had probably just laid down the voice track for.  Perfect timing for me to get in and get out.

I knocked twice,

“Baby?”

“Come on in, Love.”  He said without hesitation.

Keep reading

Seeing Stars

How long had it been? Four or Five Years since you became his caretaker? Five, but the last year seemed like a blur. A wonderful blur, but a blur nonetheless. Now, the merman considered you more than a friend or caregiver. You were his mate. And he made sure to show it and let any staff member know if they even looked at you with a lustful gaze.

He was a special case. He was sentient and had the ability to speak. Though he often refused to. So, the staff members allowed the relationship to form. And when your manager saw his drastic improvements - he urged you to take it much farther than just friends.

He was a deep sea Mermaid. Unlike the reef mermaids who were predominantly female and brightly colored. His skin was desaturated and light grey. His body was muscular, but athletic. He had: black hair, a Spiney tail with bioluminescent scales that formed a pattern, sharp teeth, webbed hands, and pink eyes that dilated and contracted in the light. And his species were predominantly male. They rarely ever came to the surface unless in need of help. This Merman however was caught in Reef Mermaid Territory and they nearly ripped him limb from limb. His injuries had been life threatening, but thankfully since he was a rather large size - he was able to the operated on and saved.

When his time came to be released back into the wild - he relented. He wanted to stay and learn more about humans. And the aquarium allowed it. In return he just had to show off every once in awhile for an audience; something he was fine with doing since it was only for an hour three times a day.

However, he was picky about his humans. Only certain ones could give him medical care. And only one could teach him. And that was you. And he fell for you very quickly. He would always bring you gifts or ask certain staff to give you cards he came up with. Or even give you a bag of his favorite human snacks. And in your fourth year, you started to fall for him slowly. He even gave himself a human name for you.

“Star?”

He didn’t understand the concept of gender. Biological sex yes, but gender was something he honestly didn’t care about.

You looked out and saw him break the surface his pink eyes just watching you. You watched him go back under. Something was up. You took off your jacket and set his meal aside. Then your shoes before carefully wading into the water.

He popped up again this time in front of you. He looked flustered.

“S-sorry.” he mumbled, “I’m not feeling the best today.”

“It’s alright, are you feeling feverish? Bloated or?” you asked him.

Your aquarium knew a lot about his biology, but there was one thing they could never figure out and that was mating cycles. They weren’t like most animals where it was yearly or even monthly. Their cycles had to build up. And something in the back of your head told you - you were about to find out all about his biological mating cycle.

“Bloated… is a very good word for this love.” he chuckled softly, “Tell me what is the moon phase?”

“Full, and the fifth Anniversary of you being here.” you said blinking curiously.

“Mmmm that would be it…” he said, “Love it would be wise if you were not in the pool with me. I’m sentient, but still wild in my own way.” he gently pushed you into the shallow end.

It clicked. And your face was crimson red.

“O-oh!” is all you said.

He nodded, “I don’t want to risk hurting you.”

You scrambled back a bit, and he followed, but was still a few feet away. He just gave you a gentle smile.

“Sweetheart, you know you can ask me anything right?” you asked him softly.

“I do, but I know not how human anatomy would work with mine. I cannot risk hurting you or feel the heartbreak of an unviable brood. This will pass I promise.” he said albeit eerily calmly.

He looked over and saw the bucket of fish and hummed. He grabbed it and devoured the entire thing. Which was odd for him as he was a light eater. Yet this time he left nothing but bones.

“I-i mean… if human males can inseminate the Reef Mermaids… it should work for us yes?” you asked him.

He licked his fingers, before cleaning up his mess and setting the bucket aside. He crawled up further to you. He smirked.

“See, they are built like whales or other fish. My kind… we’re a little different. Being all male we have a different system that can work with each others anatomy.”

A webbed hand ran up your abdomen and gently pushed it. Like as if he were testing something. He hummed idly.

“Technically we’ve not consummated - so… I-i…” you murmured.

He heard this and perked up looking down at you, eyes bright and surprised. His skin filled with blood and turned red, his bioluminescent parts lighting up. He seemed to really appreciate that offer. He lowered down and kissed you.

“Tell me are you truly that serious? My kind mates for life. And if we do this~” he cooed.

You giggled, “Of course, I love you Star.” you said throwing your arms around him. You pressed into him, “T-that and to be honest I am rather curious… if it hurts me in anyway we will stop.”

He chuckled and gently tugged at your wetsuit.

“Promise?” he asked, “And should I explain… or?”

“No, explaining anything. It might scare me off, if I have questions I’ll ask as we go along. And I promise.” you chuckled nervously reaching up and unzipping your suit to reveal your breasts.

“Alright, but if I don’t stop just punch me in the nose alright?” he asked.

You playfully roll your eyes, “Alright. Jesus, for a creature that’s not supposed to be intelligent you’re smarter than most of my species males.”

He chuckled and ripped off your suit deeming you were being too slow. “Well we do love our partners. They come first.”

He looked over your body, gently touching every area he could to get a gauge on what felt good for you. Your neck, your thighs, the small of your back,and even smaller areas most humans forgot about. When he found all your erogenous zones he went to work.

You were quite surprised by how quickly he found everything. You moaned when he nibbled at your neck and shuddered when he kneaded your breast. You could barely return the favor as you ran your hands down his chest and over the sensitive gills causing him to gasp slightly and moan. However when you got too eager and moved your hands lower he pinned him above your head.

“No, not yet.” he said groaning slightly, he just wanted to take you, but he knew enough about humans to know they needed a little help to be prepared for sex.

You pouted and huffed, but respected his wishes and he let go. You leaned up and kissed him, but this time there was a thick mucus like substance. It tasted like kelp.

He chuckled, “Trust me darling you might not like the taste, but it’s going to make this process much easier and far more enjoyable for you. Now, since you’re about as clueless as I am on anatomy, please present yourself.”

You chuckled and nodded, “You’re sweet, Star.”

He just smiled down at you, “No, that would be you. You’ve been nothing, but kind to me since coming here.” he pushed himself back fully, examining you. This was rather different. So, many choices. What to play with first.

A cramp in his abdomen made his choice for him. There wasn’t anytime to experiment, this was getting painful for the merman. He needed to release his eggs and soon.

He gently rubbed two fingers over your folds causing your hips to buck up. You whimpered softly.

“O-okay, see the soft nub at top? That is a very sensitive place for us, and the middle hole? Thats our-”

“Mmm needn’t say anymore love.”

Before you knew it, your legs were over his shoulders and his long tongue was working you. The mucus made everything so warm that all you could do was moan as the pleasure became stronger.

When he nibbled and sucked at your clit you cried out in pleasure. Your hands reaching into his: medium length, black, wet hair. You pushed your hips into him. Guiding him as he asked what your liked. Of course, you hadn’t known at first due to inexperienced partners in the past, but oh boy you were beginning to find out.

“P-please just let me ride your tongue.” you moaned out softly.

“Mmm my pleasure dear.” he said and pushed what he could of his tongue into you. Salivating even more at your taste.

It formed more mucus that made your insides warm and seep in its own natural lubricants. And if that wasn’t enough when he started moving it, you felt like you were going to go right over the edge. Yet, no matter how much he teased you couldn’t. Even with the mucus causing your pleasure sensors to reach unbelievable heights.

When Star was satisfied he pulled away, he looked at how dazed you looked and then down at how soaked and engorged you were. Even your clit had enlarged before it had been barely visible, but now - it was triple in size and that’s what he had wanted. You whined spreading your legs more.

You were a little embarrassed, but heavens it felt wonderful and you trusted him not to belittle you for being so needy. He leaned over and bit your breast leaving some teeth marks, he sucked and gently pulled causing your back to arch.

“F-fuck Star!! Please…. Stop teasing.” you cried out.

He pulled away and licked up the blood. The mucus stopped the bleeding immediately. Good, he had no worries everything was compatible so far.

“Sweetheart, we can not do it like this, I will crush you.” he chuckled lifting your head.

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck and chuckled.

“How is it you can turn me into a goopy mess?” you smiled and kissed him, your core still aching.

“Mmm usually I ask that.” he said and looked around, he found a rock out of view, and gently took you to it. He carefully got onto it and then got you situated as well.


“H-heh so like this?” you asked, “M-makes sense since I can’t… nggh breath underwater.”

“Are you okay?” he asked a bit worried.

“I’m fine just… please…” you whimpered.

“First look down.” he cooed softly, he had been very good about hiding his arousal, but now some of it was peaking out, “You get to curb your curiosity.”

You scooted a little and looked down between you and smirked seeing it. So, it was fairly standard to most whales and dolphins. That made you less nervous. You hummed moving your hands down and rubbed around it looking up seeing his eyes were closed.You giggled and grinded on him and looked down seeing it fully emerge. It was hard to miss against his black scales. It was a flushed pink that matched his bioluminescence.

Your face flushed, oh he was large. No wonder he was worried. You snickered gently wrapping a hand around it, and felt all of the delicious ribs. The tip was thin and tapered which would make this a little bit easier, the base was slightly bulbous which confused you, but you rolled with it. You heard your mate moaning your name softly his pink bioluminescent features gently rolling in a soft soothing pattern.

You went a bit harder and faster, when his eyes shot open. You saw this look and stopped immediately. He grunted softly and sat up slightly pulling you into a kiss. You shuddered and kissed him back moaning when he shoved his tongue into your mouth. You felt his hands move you over him.

“Are you ready?” he purred softly, “Now remember if this is successful you may not be able to go back to a normal life. Nor can we break our bond.”

“I Understand love, just please, be gentle.” you said smiling.

“I love you.” he said and kissed you.

“I love you too.” you kissed him back, “I-i do have one request, could I maybe face the other way. You are a bit large so it will be easier.”

He nodded smiling, “Of course dear.”

He shifted you around carefully so your back was against his chest and his head rested on your shoulder before he gently lowered you onto him, his mucus and your own lubricants made the shift painless. And each little rib hit all the right places inside. You moaned out and leaned back slightly and began grinding into him. He did what he could, but you had to put out most of the work. Maybe one day they’d have a breathing apparatus you could use this would be much easier. For now this would have to do. You panted as you moved your hips, but you were wearing out rather quickly. It was then that you felt your mate’s hands come around your hips and begin lifting and plunging you onto him.

You leaned back onto his chest, arm slung back to stroke his cheek. Your breathing was becoming hard. You could feel your body coming so close. But, it was still so far and it was frustrating. Even with the rougher and faster pace your body was just not reaching.

“S-star please, I want to cum so badly.” you moaned.

He smirked, you were begging and it was kind of cute. A nice reversal as well, usually he was the one begging for attention. He hummed gently working himself deeper and deeper, the thin tip pressing pass the cervix he came to a grind not wanting to risk hurting you. He moved his hands around to spread your lips apart and rubbed at your engorged clit taking the large nub between his fingers giving you a mini handjob. If this was going to work, he needed to knot you during an orgasm so nothing spilled out. He grunted bumping into you faster his knot growing his fingers working your engorged clit more and more until.

“STAR!” you arched back and came clenching around him, barely even noticing the knot inside locking you into place until you tried to lift your hips and cried out again, you kept grinding into your mate setting off his own orgasm and moaned feeling the warm liquid seep into you. There was an unusual pressure however.

You glanced back at him, “L-love?”

He just kissed you gently, “Is it uncomfortable?”

“No, just odd…” you breathed whimpering it still felt oh so good, “How far are you in me?”

“Past your barriers darling.” he cooed moaning softly, gently grinding into you, “We’re not done yet.”

You were shocked by this, at least until you felt the knot expand even more, spreading you out. You felt little bumps in his shaft and it hit you what was happening. And now you knew exactly why he was concerned. However you were in too much pleasure to even care.

“Ahh.. fuck please fill me up.” you whimpered as he bit into your neck and thrusted only once and the eggs started moving into you. Every time one popped in you felt heavier and heavier. You noted his stomach flattened out as yours got bigger. You begged for more, but as soon as your womb was full, but not stretched too far that was all he had, he rammed into you bringing you to another orgasm as well as himself filling you up with more fluid to round out the small pooch you did have.

You cried out his name as he pulled away from your neck and licked it. Once he was down from his high he immediately tended to you.

“Sweetie, are you okay?” he asked rubbing a hand over your now obviously bloated abdomen.

You managed a nod as you felt his knot decreasing and him slipping out of you, which made you whine. You wanted more, “Mmm it feels so good still.”

He kissed your shoulder and gently rubbed your clit, it was still engorged, the mucus was almost washed off though perhaps he could bring you to another orgasm. “Patience love.” he hummed and rubbed at it, making sure to hit all the right places until you came again shaking against him.

He pulled away when you cooled off and just rubbed your abdomen, “Oh my my, you took the entire brood! Oh, they’re going to be so cute. Your dna mixed with mine.” he was just fawning over you now. He nuzzled your cheek and licked it, “I must get a bed put in here for you! Or a pool  in your place for me! I want to be there watching you grow as you carry my fry.”

Your face flushed as you leaned back onto him looking at your own abdomen you looked four to five months pregnant. “H-how big will they get?” you asked worried.

“Not very, they will fill up their egg, maybe double in size. You’ll lay them and then they’ll hatch!” he hummed, rubbing your abdomen.

“O-oh good… my body can handle that.” you chuckled smiling, you looked back at him, “You really think I look good like this?”

“You do.” he cooed kissing your lips, “Maybe next time there will be more!!”

“N-next time?” you asked.

“Mmm yes, once every five years we must somehow remove our brood whether it’s implanting or naturally disposing of them…” he hummed kissing your neck, “And please don’t stress, not many survive. It’s not like you’ll have dozens of babies. And not all mating cycles work… to be honest… if they are viable it’ll be my first time too.”

You actually felt kind of sad, but understood what he meant, you nodded, “I actually like this feeling…” you smiled and looked back at him, “I love you Star.”

“I love you too.” he said and shifted so he could kiss you deeply and tenderly.

The months passed by and you had been able to talk the aquarium into letting Star take Parental leave until the small merbabies were able to function well and were healthy enough to be in the now expanded aquarium tank with their father. He was sitting in the salt water pool making sure his aquascaping would be safe for them. He even made a small area just incase they needed more time to hatch. He was so excited. He hummed and looked at the ring on his finger. It was his idea, he wanted to marry you in the human way since you went through with what his kind did for mating for life. Luckily since he was able to prove his sentience easily you were able to find a priest willing to do the ritual.

He looked over to you as you just relaxed in the shallow end of the pool. You looked about eight months pregnant now. He swam over sensing something in the air change and pushed himself up so he could be sitting with you. It was almost time.

He had been doing some reading on human births and found your systems were very - unethical as he called it. The pain he read about scared him, so he had a plan. He kissed your neck and up to your cheek giggling.

“Star, what are you….” you winced feeling the pressure in your abdomen.

There it was, Star cooed, “It is time I could smell it!!” he said and kissed you, “Darling, come into the water.”

You obliged and gently waded in. Star managed to push himself up enough to hit a button that would close any open blinds. Then another that dimmed the lights in the pool. He let the overhead lights stay the way they were since they weren’t very bright currently. He swam back over seeing you were already starting the breathing exercises. He was working up that kelp flavored mucus. He was hoping to make this as painless on you as possible. He hummed kissing your cheek sloppily.

“Darling take off your bottoms. I have an idea.” he said gently trying to reassure you.

You nodded and took off your swim skirt and set it to the side. The labor pains weren’t as severe as they could have been, but still had you close to tears. You were relieved when Star told you about his plan and hoped it would work. This was too much and it wasn’t just one baby it was a brood of eggs.

You felt star rubbing at your lips and groaned, what was he trying to pull? You weren’t in the mood for this. You looked down at him and he just pulled your legs over his shoulders.

“S-star what are you?”

“If the mucus worked before maybe it’ll work here.” he said before plunging his tongue into you.

Now that made sense and you felt your sore body immediately take in his little quick fix and warm itself into pleasure. Oh, if this was how it was going to be everytime viable or not you wanted him to stuff you with his brood every time. Within five minutes you were moaning out his name. Your vagina, lips and clit engorged even more than before. He spent about ten or so minutes doing this until you were an absolute mess of pleasure. He noted how long it would take you to become near unresponsive for future reference.

But, now came the fun part. Star shifted so he would be able to help adjust your legs into a proper position. He even moved his hand between your legs to hold your lips apart as he would’ve done for a another mer partner. However he decided to help coerce the eggs out and gently rub your clit and lips.

While this seemed odd you were grateful. You’d rather be put into a stupor with pleasure than pain. And would have to do something for him later. You felt the eggs line up in your canal and soon it came time to push. Stars fingers did not relent on your engorged clit. However each wave of pleasure helped you push a jumbo chicken sized egg out and through your vaginal canal into the water. Luckily they were rather spongy so they were able to gently and carefully fall to the bottom of the pool.

Stars little plan was working. It was making this process painless and much quicker than it would have been otherwise. He never let you come to orgasm. He mentioned something about saving that for the last few difficult ones, but you were to busy focusing on the pleasure and process of laying the eggs to really pay much mind. When you were nearing your ends he felt of your abdomen. Just as he thought. There were a few stragglers. However that just meant you’d get to enjoy yourself to the fullest.

“Almost done love, you can do this.” he cooed and kissed you nipping at your lips and neck before his hand moved from your vaginal lips to your two inch clit.

This caused you to scream in pleasure as your hips moved in time with his movements helping the trouble maker eggs line into your canal in a large bunch. He was rather rough with you causing your orgasm to be so powerful you squirted and the very last few eggs came out in one go.

He cooed softly and slowed everything to a stop and came up and laid your head in his lap. He stroked your wet hair, pink eyes looking down at your filled with absolute adoration that you could birth so many. He looked out at the pool and noted sadly; that a good 80% of the brood was unviable. They were floating a top, but that was alright. He would clean the mess later and more closely examine the others and cull the ones with any imperfections or the ones who wouldn’t survive.

He looked back down at you, your breathes heavy from the amount of work you just went through. You gently shifted so you could lay against his chest. Body now numb from everything you did. You looked up at him with tired eyes and smiled.

“Thank you, that little plan of yours helped so much. Mmmm and felt heavenly if I do say so myself. I could get used to this~” you said with a worn voice.

He chuckled and kissed you gently, rubbing your back, “You did good. I will be transporting them to their little place soon love. For now you need rest.” he said and smiled helping you get back into your swim skirt, “Not here though, I can’t risk you drowning.” he cooed. “I love you.”

“I love you to.” you said.

Carefully stood up and kissed him one last time before heading to your room. You had no idea what to expect when you woke up, you only knew that you were happy. You fell onto your bed not caring you were sopping went and fell asleep. You loved your merman husband and little soon to be children very much. And it was hard to believe it was all because of an assignment.

Art by: http://artistic-alpaca-afterdark.tumblr.com

What Ardyn did wrong... and why everything was wrong with Noctis’ fate

Ardyn is the most interesting character in FFXV, indeed. Mysterious man of no consequences. Despite his horrible actions, a lot of people being sympathetic to him, because Trash Jesus is very charismatic person with aura of tragic, misunderstood hero, who was punished by terrible Gods for nothing.

But people simply ignore a big elephant in the room.

Ardyn didn’t cure Starscourge. 

He didn’t fullfill God’s task, he absorbed Starscourge within himself, but didn’t destroy the plague properly. 

But why? Why didn’t he sacrifice himself like Noctis? Why did once selfless and kind man choose the path of Accursed?

There is popular fanon that Ardyn was both - Chosen King and Oracle, but I doubt it. There is no evidence for it, aside once dropped “healer” during Ardyn’s speech. But nature of Ardyn’s “healing” was different from actual healing.

One more reason why I didn’t support Oracle!Ardyn fanon - Oracle bloodline has already existed 2000 years ago.

In the distant past, Bahamut, the Draconian, descended to the mortal realm and graced the people of Tenebrae. From among them, he handpicked a pious maiden and bestowed upon her the power of the Stars and his trident. Using these gifts for the good of all, she became the first Oracle—she who joins heaven and earth.

In Cosmogony books Chosen King always portrayed with the First Oracle behind his back.

The Crystal and Ring of the Lucii were delivered to the king of Lucis by the astrals before they entered a deep sleep.

Ancient King had Crystal and Ring. Covenants with Gods were forged. But something went wrong. But something stopped him. 

Okay, here is my theory. 

Ardyn didn’t want his Oracle to die.

[If you don’t like the idea of another forced lovestory and idea of straight Ardyn at all, you can replace Ardyn x Oracle with Ardyn x someone significant to Ardyn, who’s death was required to fullfill the Prophecy. I went with Ardyn x Oracle as example, because it helps to cover massive amount of plotholes in noctluna storyline. I included another variants under the cut.]*

[you can also said that Ardyn x Oracle or “Ardyn wished to save his s/o” wasn’t mentioned in game. But Ardyn’s backstory is very vague and almost nonexistant in game. More information about Ardyn spread across different media (Ultimania, guidebook, interviews). E.g. only recent DLC revealed that first Chosen King had his own Shield and Ardyn has his own Sword of Father]

Just like Noctis he fell in love with her and just like Ravus he wanted to find a way to save her from her destiny.

Why I think so?

Usually we tried to find answers in the past, but due to “glorius” FFXV storytelling I would pay attention to the present, specifically to Noctis x Luna plotline.

Since the first day of release I had wondered why Luna didn’t join Noctis and bros after Insomnia’s fall. She loved him, she wanted to hear his voice once again… but she went her own way. The pursuit of Imperial army wasn’t a big problem, because her brother was in charge of Nifflheim military. But for some reason she avoided Noctis’ company.

It doesn’t make sense at the first sight.

It makes sense if we assume that 2000 years ago happened incident when certain Chosen King failed his job, because he wanted to save Eos, but without Oracle’s* sacrifice.

The earliest accounts of covenants are found in ancient times dating back to the time of the Cosmogony, some two millennia ago. According to such tomes, the rites are a means by which the Oracle summoned forth the gods, that she might make the will of mortals known to the divine.

Lunfreaya is Oracle. She knew about Prophecy, her and Noctis’ fate, Ardyn’s identify and many other important things. I’m pretty sure that she also knew why previous Chosen King was a mistake didn’t comply his mission to cure Starscourge.

[don’t forget that she was trained by Shiva in disguise]

Luna’s illness is weird thing, which seems unnecessary on first sight. Why should we care about it, when she is already dead? What’s the point of this ass-pulled revelation?

Now imagine if Noctis was aware about her illness. Imagine if Luna joined chocobros after events of Kingsglaive. Imagine her travelling with them, making covenants with Gods, helping Noctis with trials… and slowly dying.

What would Noctis do if he learned “price of the covenant”?

I think we know the answer.

Until Luna’s death Noctis didn’t see himself as Chosen King. He wanted to save Luna and nothing else. He fought against Empire, he wanted to beat the shit out of Ravus, because he thought that Ravus hunted Lunafreya, he would have done everything for her, but he didn’t know what actually killed Luna. He was misguided by Luna herself.

[and then Lunafreya… told Noctis about Prophecy again]

It also explains why Gentiana didn’t help to save Luna in Altissia. Luna should’ve died. Her own precense kept Noctis from fulfillment his duty as Chosen King.

Almost everyone, who knew about Prophecy, tried to hide from Noctis horrible truth about his fate and, which is more important, Luna’s illness. Gentiana, Regis, Luna, Ardyn (just how fucked up is plot of this game if “good guys” used exactly the same methods to manipulate Noctis as main villain) deprived him of any chance to change something. Looks like they were afraid that Noctis can choose another path, isn’t it?

I put Luna’s illness over Noctis’ future sacrifice, because Noctis was ready to die young. It was revealed in Ignis Brotherhood Episode, when Noctis realized that like his dad he will spend his life sources to hold the Wall around Insomnia. Ofc, he didn’t expect to die like in this one cutscene, but he was ready to die anyway. Luna is whole different thing. Her death was last straw for him.

Although, there was a moment, when Noctis had a chance to learn the truth from another character, who was also informed about Prophecy and constantly tried to mess up with it.

Back to chapter Five, when Noctis met Ravus first time. There is a common misconception about this scene, a lot of people thought that Ravus wanted to kill Noctis and Ardyn saved him.** But I think that real reason why Ardyn interrupted them was this particular line:

Ravus told Noctis about trials and consequences, but Noctis didn’t mind about it… and you know what happened later. 

Congratulations, Noctis, you fooled yourself.

[now there is another big question - why Luna didn’t write Noctis about Ravus’ true position?]

After this event Ardyn took Ravus on leash. Ravus himself wasn’t dangerous for Noctis, but Ravus’ knowledges and intentions were dangerous for future sacrificial lamb. Remember: Noctis shouldn’t have a choice.

People compare FFXV with FFX and FFXIII a lot. These games are opposite to each other. In FFX and FFXIII characters didn’t accept their fate so easy as characters in FFXV, they fought for their lifes and lifes of their beloved (Lightning and Snow wanted to save Sera, Sazh wanted to save his son, Tidus wanted to save Yuna), they fought against destiny, broke the rules and won. 

It always bothered me that chocobros never demonstrated any serious resistance. But, well, they simply didn’t know what’s going on. They were desinformed from the beginning. 

[That one character in FFXV who just wanted to save his sister was labeled as villain and turned into monster. Just think about it]

Now back to Ardyn and his possible past. Imagine him travelling in company of his King’s Shield, Oracle and may be his own versions of Prompto and Ignis. Imagine them fightning daemons, camping, making covenants with Gods…

But something went wrong. Oracle is dying. Ardyn wanted to save the world, but not for this price. He tried to find a loophole… and he was tricked or made a deal with Ifrit. From perspective of mortal man it was perfect deal - he can save everyone by healing absorbing Starscourge into his own body without sacrifices. But from Astrals’ point of view it was nothing. It was temporary solution.*

I never liked Noctis that much***,but I think that his situation was horrible. People that are most dear to him treatened Noctis like possible failure aka Ardyn 2.0. They were afraid that if he finds out the truth, he will get out of control. They did everything to prevent Noctis’ possible resistance to his fate.

All these people prioritized Prophecy over Noctis’ life, happiness and free will.

Just like Ardyn.

It wasn’t even “kill one to save many”.

Everything is wrong with Final Fantasy XV story.

Keep reading

wither me down

Summary: It’s strange, how Otabek doesn’t mind that his lungs are filled with flowers and each day is more agonizing than the last. After all, loving Yuri Plisetsky is a privilege in and of itself. (belated happy valentine’s day! warning for character death, otayuri, hanahaki au, word count: 6166)



He first meets Yuri when he is twelve, almost thirteen. He is hunched over, heaving from the strenuous exercise that Yakov made them do, and he looks up to try again when he sees him. He must be ten at the oldest, and is without a doubt the best student in that room. Otabek never pays much attention to the other students, but this time he looks at this boy, who manages to complete the exercise he’s been struggling with effortlessly.

And then the boy’s head turned to look at his direction, and he is captivated.

Keep reading

Viktor's Pauses

Okay, this is a break from my usual tough love on Viktor. This time, I’d like to talk about something Viktor does that makes me really, really happy and proud of him.

We see how kind Viktor is to Yuuri. He is thoughtful and careful with him in a way that appears so soft and warm and everything that made us fall in love with them. Somehow, Viktor just seems to do and say the right things. Not all the time, of course, and he has had his slips like what we saw at the Cup of China, but this is because Viktor is still learning. Most of the time though, he seems to have the right words to say.

The best part for me though is HOW Viktor says these things - more specifically, how he comes up with them. It is not as if the responses come naturally, or are top of mind. He had to learn them, because Viktor definitely thought about other things before the things that he does say out loud. How do we know?

He pauses.

For example, in episode 3, Yuuri (and Yurio) struggle with their respective programs. Yuuri, at his wits end, suddenly comes up with the crazy, “That’s it! Katsudon!”

Now look at what happens next:

There must have been a dozen things that passed through dear Viktor’s mind. Remember, he didn’t know that Yuuri forgot everything that happened at the banquet. He didn’t know that Yuuri didn’t know about his own Eros potential. Viktor’s thoughts possibly ranged from “Excuse me?” to “What the actual fuck,” but he does not say these things. Instead, he pauses.

What do pauses even mean? A pause means a person is thinking. Viktor thinks about what he will say to Yuuri. Granted, Viktor does not have the record of being the most tactful person on Earth. We have seen him deliver brutal truths with that heart-shaped smile of his, but that only makes it even more precious that he makes these later considerations for Yuuri.

Viktor did not start off being this considerate. You know when this kindness started? When Yuuri first ran away to skate away his anxiety since Viktor came, and then more and more as Viktor learned that Yuuri was apparently shy and more delicate than Viktor initially thought him to be.

So back at the dinner table, of course we know that what Viktor says instead of, you know, Yurio’s more sensible, “Seriously?” is:

Viktor’s first careful step!

Fast forward to Hot Springs on Ice. Yuuri panics when it is his turn, but eventually, comes up with another gem:

Viktor pauses a bit.

He’s still not used to this type of lines from Yuuri. In the end though, his answer to Yuuri is:

The beauty of what Viktor does is that it’s a considerate way of acting neutral while he tries to understand how this beautifully confusing creature he sort of fell a little in love with at the Sochi banquet ticks. At the same time, whether he meant to or not, he says things that Yuuri seems to need, as proven by the way Yuuri blushes every time Viktor says something that tells him that Viktor is on his side. Viktor is very careful with Yuuri, and what I love about it is that it shows to us that Viktor still wants to stay and get to know this person even though he is not who Viktor thought he was.

Episode 4, as we know, is that wonderful, wonderful episode that spanned the months of Yuuri’s training, during which we are somehow told that Yuuri and Viktor grew closer and got to know one another better. The next Viktor-pause is not so much a consideration for Yuuri as much as it is proof that Viktor picked up the habit of thinking before he speaks around Yuuri, and somehow finding the right words to say within those brief pauses.

The beauty of the pause here is that it seems to be a tentative one. The theme is love? Why did it become love, now when I am working on him with this? Am I somehow making progress with this person? Viktor pauses for his own sake this time, because Yuuri’s theme caught him off-guard.

But after all this time, Viktor is better with Yuuri, and his response is:

He reacts positively to Yuuri and supports his decisions. He has learned to relate with Yuuri better, and continues to be kind to him. He knows how to say yes to Yuuri’s decisions in the best way possible.

Here is another of my favourite scenes, purely because of Viktor’s word choices.

“Perfect” and “the best theme” – Viktor’s words are encouraging and uplifting, and I can perfectly imagine how they can affect Yuuri and motivate him.

Episode 5 is yet another gift of an episode where, for the first time, we hear Viktor think. And boy, he thinks a lot, and now we know that he does think a lot before doing and saying things in regards to Yuuri. We know he does not always agree with his student:

Yet at the end of the day, still makes the conscious decision to accept and support him.

We can see how this endeared Viktor to Yuuri. I mean look at the boy’s face in that last frame. He’s so happy, he actually cried. Viktor’s constant affirmation helped Yuuri grow and be more confident in himself. While I do believe that Viktor is naturally warm and a very kind person deep down, and while providing Yuuri this kind of positive regard is not contradictory to his personality, it’s wonderful to think that he still had to learn and develop these things in himself as well.

Now, of course Viktor isn’t perfect. He slipped in episode 7 and said the wrong thing. But, as Yakov said, Viktor still had a lot to learn, but it’s heartening to see him keep at it, isn’t it?

Lol, he even does this silent pause thing during their engagement. There was a good pause there, but then again maybe it was just shock. He’s been quiet even during the time that they bought the rings, and pretty much just followed Yuuri in a daze (I assume) up to the last moment. He doesn’t even talk until Yuuri prompts him.

Viktor still says something good, though - probably the best that could be said given the circumstances and given what Yuuri said. He has also grown quite a lot. Somewhere along the way, he learned to speak Yuuri’s language, and it is just a beautiful thing to watch.

sacchariwrites  asked:

Are you going to tell us now how you changed the story after you saw episode 10? You said you had to go back and re-outline the whole thing. I am interested in knowing how it differs.

i’m sorry if someone has already asked you this but can you share with us the original plan you had for umfb before episode 10? or can you not tell us until after the companion fic?


How Episode 10 Changed Everything (and other fun stories):

So as I’ve said a couple of times before, episode 10 was an absolute game changer for Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches and now that the fic is finally done I’ll try and explain how although this may get a bit long and I wont go into too much detail about Viktor for companion fic reasons.

So the main three things that episode 10 changed in the fic was Viktor’s entire character, Yuuri as an unreliable narrator and the program music.

The most significant by far was Viktor’s character. Because pre episode 10 we really still didn’t know that much about Viktor and we had no idea about the banquet. So before episode 10 I assumed that Yuuri fell in love first and Viktor came to coach Yuuri out of curiosity because he likes surprises and doing something different and eventually and unexpectedly found himself falling in love. In a draft for another fic I was tossing ideas around for it actually centred on Viktor only realising he was in love with Yuuri just before the kiss in episode 7. Viktor was always very mysterious and I’m sure people who were in the fandom pre ep10 will remember all the theories that he was just using Yuuri and all that and while I didn’t believe that, I did assume that Viktor’s character trope was the ‘workaholic slowly learns how to love by being loved’ one.

But then episode 10 comes and completely knocks that out of the water because we find that Viktor is actually this adorable sappy romantic who calls Yuuri sleeping beauty and adores him and fell in love with him when he was wasted and dancing and brought life and love back into Viktor’s world. And that completely changed Viktor in the fic because after an episode from his pov I had a much better handle on his character and realised he absolutely wouldn’t act like he had been planned to act in the fic.

In the original plan he wasn’t ever a bad person or anything but he was actually a rival for Yuuri and he didn’t fall in love until much much later. But with episode 10 we also found out that Chris and Viktor are best buddies and Viktor likes skating with Chris and can’t imagine a season without him which means that in the fic there’s no way that Viktor would feel threatened by Yuuri as a rival because in canon he’s besties with his competitor and he’s way too much of a sweetheart for that. So in the fic it changed from Viktor reciprocating the rivalry to Viktor actually enjoying the challenge and excitement it brought into his life.

As for him falling in love, in chapter 10 the singing thing was always planned but that was originally the first sign that Viktor was starting to feel affection for Yuuri and was just the very beginning of him falling in love. It chapter 10! But after ep10 I realised that Viktor ‘love at first drunken dance’ Nikiforov would definitely not be having a solid two years of a ‘relationship’ and just be starting to fall because that would be seriously ooc and we finally saw just how much he adores Yuuri through his own eyes. And so in the fic I reworked the whole thing to fit with Viktor as a character as I now understood him and that included him falling first, falling hard and falling early.

Episode 10 also showed us just how much of an unreliable narrator Yuuri is, with the banquet and also how different everything seemed from Viktor’s eyes. And so that meant that I started to play with the idea of Yuuri being a seriously unreliable narrator and trying to tell a story where his version is very different to the version the audience see, which is obvious now pretty crucial to umfb&mha.

I also went back and reworked all the program music for the fic once episode 10 came out. Before it was all important and did have significance but after I knew that Viktor was going to fall early I decided to play around with the idea of showing the audience how he was feeling through his music. So I went back and completely changed the program music to tell a proper story (funny story, originally Yuuri was going to be the one skating to Sun and Moon. And then episode 10 happened and I looked at the new outline of the fic like ‘this is such a Viktor song oh my god).

Another thing that episode 10 changed was originally Chris wasn’t involved in the fic at all until we found out about his and Viktor’s friendship and that he’s actually such a bro not just a weird guy who gropes Yuuri and comes on the ice. As well as that, in episode 10 we also found out that Yuuri was actually the unknowing playboy in the Eros story not Viktor, coming into Viktor’s life, stealing his heart and then leaving without a word, which lead me adapting the fic to umfb!Yuuri becoming a perceived playboy by others through certain things that will be explored fully in the companion fic as a reference to that. There were also some smaller changes like the inclusion of the drunken Olympics and Yuuri knowing how to pole dance as a shout out to the episode.

Episode 12 also changed a lot. One of the things was Yurio and his role in the fic and how he feels about Yuuri which will be explored more in the companion fic. Also the original end of the fic was that Yuuri was going to try and fail to do the quad flip which ruins an otherwise perfect skate and potentially loses him the gold but he was willing to sacrifice it to tell Viktor. But in episode 12 we see that Yuuri can do a quad flip with his love for Viktor as motivation so it changed to Yuuri still potentially ruining his skate because he isn’t sure if he can land the jump but doing it anyway and actually succeeding because every time he tried and failed before it was because he was doing it out of bitterness trying to beat Viktor and this time he was doing it out of love.

The fic also changed a lot over the course of writing it just because characters take on a life of their own and my first draft was very rough and done before I’d written anything so I’ll try and do a chapter by chapter run down of the big changes from the rough plan I wrote before starting the fic to the end result.

Chapter 4:

·       Phichit originally wasn’t a big part of the fic but that very quickly changed because it’s Phichit and he’s so damn important to Yuuri and such an amazing character so I added him in early and made his part much bigger

·       There was originally going to be a discussion between Viktor and Yuuri that went badly and they both ended up annoyed and offended which sparked Viktor’s side of the rivalry but there was no way to do that without making them both dicks and ooc and after episode 10 it changed to Viktor trying to be helpful but unreliable narrator Yuuri taking it wrong and cutting the conversation short

Chapter 6:

·       Yuuri was originally going to be watching interviews and stuff of Viktor and thinking how arrogant and self-assured he was but this changed with Viktor’s character change because that’s just not him

·       Viktor was going to make a comment about Yuuri’s quads but this one was actually going to be an insult and again changed when Viktor’s character changed

·       The idea for the dream sequence only came later

Chapter 7:

·       Pole dancing only became a thing after episode 10

·       Viktor was going to only miss the GPS and come back for Worlds but lose because he wasn’t fully recovered but I decided I didn’t want the first time Yuuri won against Viktor to be so unsatisfying

·       The watching Yuuri skate at the rink didn’t originally happen at this point in the fic until after I saw ep 10

Chapter 8:

·       Yuuri never lost motivation originally but I decided at that point it was important in his character to almost give up but then come back with a vengeance

·       The drunken Olympics never originally happened

·       They were both originally going to be drunk when they first slept together but that got thrown out almost immediately because consent is very important and there was no way I was going to write a scene where both of them were drunk and therefore couldn’t give proper consent.  Also it was important it wasn’t a drunken mistake but a deliberate choice.

·       Viktor getting drinks never happened, instead he was going to be treating Yuuri in a similar way to how Yuuri was treating him

Chapter 9:

·       Yuuri was originally still going to be very hostile before I realised it was ooc and a dick move after Viktor was being nice to him so it changed to him congratulating Viktor after Viktor won. That then changed the sex scene from the mutual hatefuck it was going to be pre ep10 to Yuuri and the comments thing that sent him spiralling. The not-talking thing was also added as a plot device because Viktor as he became acted very differently to him as he was originally planned to be and it would have been too easy if he had been allowed to talk.

·       Viktor was originally going to take Yuuri out to dinner at the WC purely out of guilt

·       There was originally going to be another sex scene after the WC and dinner where Yuuri was angry at Viktor for ruining his skate but it would be ooc for both of them and got changed early on

Chapter 10:

·       Number swap was supposed to be just for hooking up but changed after ep10

·       Yuuri’s theme was originally going to be something related to hatred but it changed as his character developed and I realised how he was being affected by the events of the fic was different to the plan and that would be doing him a disservice as a character

·       Viktor was still kind of being a bit of a dick and making snide comments during sex when Yuuri won which was changed when I rewrote Viktor as a character after ep10

·       Conversation with Phichit was very short and didn’t involve a lot of the stuff it did in the final chapter

·       Viktor was again going to be acting very different in the second sex scene with none of the need or desperation that happened which all came about during his character change

·       Conversation with Chris never happened until the third of four re-writes of ep10 when I realised Viktor’s actions needed some more context for people who were ignoring the music

Chapter 11:

·       Lots of sex was supposed to happen in this chapter before I changed it for plot reasons and also companion fic reasons

·       Sex scene was supposed to be all about Yuuri acting like Eros Yuuri but those two idiots in love were very sappy and sentimental instead and it became a crucial relationship shift point instead

·       All domesticness from that chapter was planned out later in the fic as the fic was being written not in the first plan, including the borscht scene

Chapter 12:

·       Meal with the other skaters never happened

·       The revel about Yuuri’s virginity never happened in the first plan. Then in the rough draft of the chapter it happened at the same time as the second reveal but I split them because it worked better that way

·       This was when Viktor was supposed to secretly watch Yuuri skating his routine

·       Yurio wasn’t originally involved at all and Yuuri left after getting jealous. The love revelation never happened

Chapter 13:

·       Yurio appeared in this chapter instead although the conversation was very different in the rough plan because everything he talks about in the final version came about after episode 10 changed everything

·       Yuuri was originally going to be much more angry at the scandal and used his anger to win while Viktor still fucked up his skate but this changed early when I realised it was ooc and Yuuri would actually react very differently and that emotional devastation and heartbreak would ruin his skate instead

Chapter 14:

·       None of the conversations with Yuuri’s family were planned in detail in the first rough plan, I just knew he needed to go back to Hasetsu and have some revelations

·       Yuuri was supposed to convince himself that Viktor never loved him and never could and only realised Viktor’s feelings after seeing stammi vicino. This changed because it was very important for Yuuri to go and get some distance and time and then decided to come back and decided to try again with Viktor before he saw stammi vicino. It also changed because with Viktor as he became after ep10 and how he reacted there was no way that Yuuri would convince himself that Viktor never cared for him. He’s a bit emotionally dense sometimes but not an idiot

·       Yuuri was going to fall on the quad flip

So yeah, all this is from the very rough draft before I wrote any of it and the story adapted and changed along the way as I got more into the characters and got a better handle on how they would act until it became what you see today. It definitely became a much better story and I’m very happy with all the changes that I made! Having a plan is great for a framework but letting the characters grow and change naturally during the writing process is much more fun and I think makes for a better story

anonymous asked:

Hello! I was thinking about this the other day; the RFA reacting to finding fanfic of themselves? X3

Yoosung

  • It’s not really fanfic of Yoosung as much as it is of SuperYoosung (aka, his online persona)
  • Thing is, he was talking to a girl he met while playing LOLOL and she was awed by him
  • So, she started talking to him regularly, always admiring him and all his hard fought work and so on
  • Then he finds out from a guild member that she’s writing fan fiction versions of his exploits in game (and out, but in the context of in game)
  • He reads them and the character she’s made him out to be is this brave, handsome warrior who travels the land searching for his one true love, fighting evil, helping innocents and fellow warriors alike, and just being a hero
  • Yoosung is embarrassed to admit he got super sucked into the story and the way it progressed like a real fantasy novel, and is so disappointed to find that she’s two chapters from finishing it, although the last two chapters promise to have a reunion, a final battle, a satisfying wrap up, and a happy ending
  • Yoosung talks to his online buddy and learns that she never named the female character because nothing sounded right, so he tells her to use the real love-of-his-life’s name
  • She does, she startled people are so happy with the reveal of the name, Yoosung cries over the ending three months later
  • Now, he’s subscribed to her, so any fanfics she writes about SuperYoosung or based around his adventures, Yoosung will read
  • It’s totally a guilty pleasure, he can’t even bring himself to share it with MC

Jaehee

  • So, you know, she was casually scrolling through some Zen fan fiction when she saw an “RFA” tag
  • So she clicked it out of curiosity
  • First of all, SO much Zen/Jumin porn
  • Just like
  • Wow
  • one of the main writers for these fics username is HackerLoveGod, and she swears it’s Saeyoung
  • Then she finds a tag of her name
  • She clicks and finds an overwhelming amount of fanfics about her
  • It’s mostly really cute fics about her interacting with the RFA, possibly flirting with someone and finding someone inside or outside the RFA
  • Ironically, MC is in very few and is never the romantic interest
  • The only romantic interests Jaehee has is either one of the guys (most Jumin, she’s mortified to find out, with Zen as a close second) or a random guy, once it was even Rika
  • Jaehee never admits that she found any of this, still kind of shaken by the idea that people are actually interested in her so much that they theorize about her happy ending
  • It’s kind of creepy

Zen

  • It’s to be expected with a big name actor, especially when he’s cast in so many romances because of his good looks
  • Plus he canonly has a romance writer who bases a lot of her male leads off of Zen
  • But most fanfics are extremely romantic, long winded stories about how he and MC met, their whirlwind romance, and how they had to fight off Echo-girl
  • They’re all extremely romantic, some better than others, some even becoming soulmate au’s because some fans love and respect his love so much
  • NGL, Zen totally uses a few fanfics as platforms for romantic dates (he takes MC ice skating because of one fic where he did that, she almost fell, he caught her, and it was all very sweet, where as the reality was that he tripped and accidentally pulled her down with him and she ended up pinned under him by accident)

Jumin

  • A woman actually wrote a book with a character loosely based off of Jumin as the main lead
  • It was a rather… inappropriate book, especially coming from a woman that had never met him
  • But one day, he finds MC sitting on the couch, laughing at her phone with Elizabeth in her lap
  • She shows Jumin the hundreds of self-insert fan fiction where women meet and ultimately fall in mutual love with him
  • When he asks why she thinks this is so funny, she points out two things
    • 1. At least a third of them take 2-14 days for them to fall in madly in love, which parallels real life, which she thinks is hilarious
    • 2. All the ones written after MC and Jumin got married, MC is this monstrous, smoking, drinking, possessive, greedy bitch, and the women “rescue” Jumin from such a terrible woman
  • Jumin fails to see the amusement in these, especially the idea that MC is evil
  • She finds a few really bad ones and reads them to him so that he can truly enjoy them with her
  • She also reads some really good ones that are super romantic and Jumin totally takes ideas from (i.e. Gifts to give, restaurants to eat at, things to do together)

Saeyoung

  • “I’ve hacked the world in which you exist. I found the lives you imagined we’d have together. Let’s make one a reality.”
  • Hahaha, ignore that please, it’s mildly creepy
  • Also, there’d better not be fan fiction of him as that could be a terrible thing
  • Seriously, he’s a hacker, he lives in the shadows, so if anything gets out about him, he’s screwed
  • So that means, the only reason he’d find fanfic of himself was if the RFA or someone that knew him wrote it
  • When Saeyoung finds the fan fiction, he’s horribly confused for obvious reasons
  • He reads them, is slightly disturbed that the character dynamics between him, the RFA, Saeran, MC, and others are so spot on, but actually becomes pretty invested in some of these adventures
  • Eventually he backtraces everything to…. his house? What?
  • When he finally figures which computer is posting it, he’s surprised to find Saeran’s writing it, while he was expecting MC
  • Then it hits him; that’s why she’s been giving Saeran feed back about his writing lately
  • Saeyoung totally hacks Saeran’s computer to watch him write, so he can have the next chapter now
  • When Saeran starts to kill Saeyoung off, he can’t help himself, opens a chat box and says “NOooo!!! You can’t kill your own brother!! Why would you do this?!”
  • Saeran types back, “I FUKCING KNEW IT!!”
RFA+V+Saeran Proposes to MC

A/N: This wasn’t requested but the ideas have been in my mind for a while so hey why not

Yoosung:

  • The lil bean was a nervous wreck omg
  • He’s going to ask you to be married to him for the rest of your lives that’s a lot of pressure
  • “Zen, I need help I’ve never proposed before”
  • Of course you haven’t, idiot”
  • He’s trying so hard to come up with a really cute way to propose
  • But all the ideas he comes up with aren’t good enough
  • He asks literally everyone in the RFA and almost spills to you in the process oops
  • Jaehee knocks some sense into him saying that no matter how he does it, you would say yes
  • Yoosung gains a lot more confidence after that and immediately knows what to do
  • He decides to go for the traditional proposal at dinner instead of going all out
  • You go out to a really nice restaurant for dinner and you can tell something’s off with him
  • HE ENDS UP CHICKENING OUT AT THE RESTAURANT LOL
  • When you’re both chilling in his house, you ask him what’s wrong
  • Immediately starts stuttering like crazy
  • Eventually, he takes a deep breath and just goes for it
  • “MC… Ever since you came into my life, you’ve been nothing but kind and understanding towards me even if we were strangers. I found myself falling for you fast and I knew I wanted to protect you and make you happy. I still feel that way. These past couple years have been nothing short of wonderful and I hope you think so, too. And I hope that we could have a lot more years like them in the future. So…”
  • At this point you’re both tearing up but he gets down on one knee and pulls out the ring with a shaky hand
  • “Will you marry me, MC?

Zen:

  • You know how he is
  • Obviously he’s going to want to make the most romantic proposal in the entire world
  • He’s got this super extravagant plan in his mind and it’s going to be perfect
  • Until it isn’t lol
  • He took you out to a romantic picnic at your favorite park
  • We’re talking candles-everywhere-as-the-sun-sets-while-feeding-each-other-chocolate-covered-strawberries kind of romantic
  • He cooked the food himself
  • Since you love to hear him sing, he serenades your favorite song to you
  • Everything is going just fine until the nerves start kicking in
  • The plan was to propose after the song but you’re giving him this really sweet and loving look and he loses all composure
  • He starts blushing and his breathing is uneven and his palms are sweaty
  • knees weak arms are heavy
  • You realize he’s struggling to say something you encourage him while waiting patiently
  • He takes your hands in his to calm himself down a little
  • “I want you to know how much I love you. I absolutely love everything about you. Like the way your nose crinkles when you laugh or how you nag me to take a break if I work too hard and how you sing to yourself whenever you cook or how you snore a little bit when you sleep haha… I love how supportive you are. No matter how tough the situation is, you’ve always defended me and stayed by my side. But most importantly, I would love it if you would continue to stay by my side.”
  • You watch as he gets down on one knee, a shy smile on his face as he pulls out the ring
  • “How about it, MC? Will you marry me and stay by my side for the rest of our lives?”

Jaehee:

  • Cool and calculated on the outside, a Hot Mess™ on the inside
  • She does a really good job at keeping the proposal a secret from you but as they day looms closer, she becomes a nervous wreck
  • She starts messing up customer’s orders, drops a plate or two, ya know
  • You’re worried about her but when you ask about it, she quickly brushes it off
  • This isn’t normally like her so you know it’s something bad
  • At the end of the work day, you suggest that she relax a little bit before you two start closing
  • She agrees but goes to the back of the kitchen to get some food for you two
  • When she brings out a slice of cake for you to share, you ask her what’s wrong
  • She fidgets with her sleeve as her eyes fixate on the cake that you’re in the middle of eating, avoiding to look you in the eyes
  • “There’s nothing wrong, I promise. It’s just… I really love you, MC. More than you know. You’ve helped realize that I need to follow my own dreams and take more risks instead of taking it safe.” She looks around the shop. “I mean, you helped me open up my own coffee shop! But one thing you helped me most on is love. Because of you, I took a chance and fell in love. With you. You not only helped me achieve my dream of owning my own cafe but also my dream of finding someone who could love me.”
  • You watch as she looks back down at the cake you’ve forgotten about
  • As you look down, you can see a shining diamond hidden in the pastry
  • “Can you help me achieve one more dream and marry me?”

Jumin:

  • pretend the good ending of his route doesn’t exist lol
  • This man wanted the best and only the best for you
  • But he knew you preferred the simpler things in life
  • so he decided to cancel the raining rose petals and doves lol
  • Instead, he decided to take you out to your favorite restaurant for dinner
  • But obviously he made sure you had the entire restaurant to yourselves
  • He’s a little nervous but not so much because come on
  • He wouldn’t propose unless he knew for a fact that you would say yes
  • So dinner goes by without a problem and you two are just enjoying the quiet company of each other
  • But when the waiters bring out dessert, he gets a little fidgety
  • When you ask him if he’s okay, he takes a deep breath and starts the speech he prepared ahead of time
  • “I want you to know how grateful I am that you are in my life. You are so patient and understanding with me. I was so… isolated before I met you. But you’ve taught me to accept my own emotions and learn to love. I love you, MC, with all my heart.”
  • Jumin moves to stand up and kneel down next to you, pulling out a velvet box and revealing the ring inside
  • “All I want to do is to make you happy. You deserve the best life possible and I’ll do anything to ensure that. But will you give me the best life by becoming my wife?”

Seven:

  • this is gonna be chandler and monica style from friends get ready
  • It’s been a while since the whole Mint Eye thing and Seven had been thinking of proposing to you
  • But he’s Seven so he’s really scared that you won’t say yes since he believes he still isn’t good enough for you
  • You knew that he wanted to marry you and why he was so hesitant so you decided to break tradition
  • When Seven came home from running errands, he found you in the living room surrounded by candles and looking really nervous
  • He sat down next to you on the couch and noticed you were tearing up
  • Seven goes into PANIC MODE
  • He starts to ask questions and see if you’re hurt or if he did something or what but you shut him up
  • “I want you to know how much I love you. I know you’re afraid of this whole “love and relationship” thing but I want you to know that I love you more than anything else. To prove to you that I will never leave you…”
  • You start pulling out the ring you bought for him but at this point you’re full on sobbing and shaking you can’t speak 
  • This boi is tearing up but he gets the idea and helps you out a bit
  • hE PULLS OUT THE RING HE LITERALLY JUST BOUGHT NOT EVEN HALF AN HOUR AGO
  • “I knew I wanted to marry you since you stuck by my side even after going to the Mint Eye. You’ve made me become a better man in more ways than I can count. I’m sorry it took me so long and made you wait, but I love you, too.”
  • He looks you in the eyes as you both take a deep breath before saying at the same time:
  • “Will you marry me?”

V:

  • V wanted to be creative with his proposal but nothing too extravagant
  • So he decided to make it a little sentimental instead by using his photography skills in the process
  • You were out with some friends so he asked Jumin for some help with the set up to which he gladly agreed
  • When you got home, you found a photo taped to the front of the door of you and all the other RFA members
  • Below it was a note saying “The first party and first time we met.”
  • You smiled as you took the photo down and saw more taped along the hallway
  • Each had notes underneath life “Our first date.” or “Taken after we said our first ‘I love you’s’” or “First time I ever saw you.” or “The day you moved in.” 
  • The photos led to the backyard and when you went outside, you saw V standing in the middle with a big smile on his face and you walk over to him
  • Before you can ask him what all the fuss was about, he kneels and begins speaking
  • “You are truly a blessing in life. In my life. You are so patient and kind and understanding and generous without asking for anything in return. I wanted to show you how much I love you and somehow give back for all the kindness you’ve given me. All the photos you have are from moments I hold close to my heart. I hope that we have more photos to take in the future.”
  • You watch him pull out the ring as you hear a snap and see Seven off to the side with a camera
  • “MC, will you marry me and make more memories with me?”

Saeran:

  • You had been together for years and it was a slow and steady relationship 
  • Sure you wanted to marry him but you didn’t mind waiting and giving him time considering everything that he’s been through
  • He wants you to be by his side since you’re the only one that really understands him
  • You’re both cuddling on the couch and watching a movie like any other day
  • It was your turn to pick the movie so you choose this romance movie Jaehee recommended
  • it’s not a zen movie *gasp*
  • At some point, the two main characters get married and you don’t think much of it
  • Saeran, however, has got that scene stuck in his mind
  • Once the movie ends, he asks you if you liked it
  • When you say yes, he just nods quietly and bites his lip
  • You know that’s a nervous tick of his but you don’t want to press him if he doesn’t want to share
  • You’re about to get up to get food when you hear him mutter something
  • It was so quiet so you ask him to repeat it
  • “Let’s get married.”
  • He’s looking at you straight in the eye and you know that he’s completely serious about this
  • You can’t help the grin on your face as you give him a kiss
  • “Okay. Let’s get married.”
Blue and White Blossoms

@sir-scandalous this is the hanahaki Shance au I mentioned, it was written a few months ago, and I pretty much forgot about it until you mentioned hanahaki disease in a post, and I remembered I wrote something for a hanahaki au. I posted it and hope you like it! 

It might be awful, I’m not the best author.



Lance sat on the observation deck, watching the stars and universe. It was once a dream, to go into space, and to travel the universe… Lance winced as his chest suddenly burst into flames nearly, it hurt, but it was gone just as quickly. He blinked at the stars, something he’s used to seeing so often now.

He managed to go into space, along with his team and rival, and his hero. Thrown into a war they didn’t know about, something ten thousand years in process. Fighting for the fate of the universe, to protect their home planet and many others, most of which had no idea they were even doing it.

It made Lance’s eyes burn with the beginning of tears, and he blinked them back. He was afraid of someone seeing him cry, of seeing his facade dropped. He wasn’t really useful, or talented, but the least he could do is keep the team together, happy and laughing, even if it means he will be hurt in the process and he would suffer in the dark, quiet and hidden.

Lance also knew he was far too self-sacrificing, taking on the anger of the others to keep them from fighting with themselves, hiding his pain and accepting others to bring out smiles. He knew it was not good to do it, but he was far too much like his oldest sister, too self-sacrificing and willing to suffer for others.

Ah, not good… Lance grimaced as he felt his eyes blur, wiping his tears, Lance stiffened as footsteps echoed in the halls, getting closer to him. Blinking away tears and plastering a fake smile, though he could feel he wasn’t doing to good at it, Lance kept his eyes locked on the stars, the footsteps stopped at the entrance, as if he surprised whomever it was he was there.

Well, of course he did, he shouldn’t be up so late anyways. Lance turned and blinked at the figure who had stopped in the doorway.

“Lance? What are you doing up?” Shiro asked, continuing to walk up to him. Lance almost flinched when the pain returned to his chest.

“Ah, Shiro. I couldn’t sleep, figured I would watch the stars.” Lance laughed as he looked out to the stars again, he was afraid to look at Shiro, he was found in a weak spot and he didn’t want Shiro to notice. He wasn’t a fool, he knew Shiro was more observant than he let on, and that was dangerous.

“Oh?” Shit, Shiro didn’t believe him “I hope you don’t mind me joining you” Shiro said and Lance nodded, trying to act tired to make up for his lack of boisterous nature.

Lance stared out at the stars and found his mind turning to his previous thoughts, his older sister Mira. He was very close to her and- Shaking his head discreetly, Lance forced his thoughts away, to talking with Blue, or teasing Pidge.

“Lance? You ok?” Shiro asked and Lance jumped a bit, Shiro was looking at him, trying to see his face. Lance blinked back more tears and turned to flash Shiro a smile.

“Of course!” Lance said, pulling on as much bravado as he could, but he was tired from holding up his mask all day, he hadn’t expected anyone to come into the observatory so he wasn’t prepared to throw it back up again.

“Lance.” Shiro was using that tone, Lance knew it too well, it wasn’t the Lance, enough tone, it was the I’m not that easy to fool, so start talking tone. He’s used it on Lance plenty enough times, but Lance always managed to escape it. No one was around to make a distraction, he couldn’t pick a fight with Keith, or use Hunk as a way of escape.

“I miss home.” Lance said, not entirely telling the truth. Shiro’s eyes softened as he nodded, Lance couldn’t help the feeling in his chest as he realized just how deep in love he was, and just how bad that was.

“We all do… It’s ok to be homesick, we all are. Protecting home is important too.” Shiro said and Lance bit his tongue to keep from lashing out, he was getting irritated, but he knew he shouldn’t be. He wasn’t used to being worried over, it was weird because he was so used to keeping people from noticing, he’s forgotten what it’s like.

“I-I know… I’m not going to leave, I just… feel bad for worrying my family, they have no idea where I am.” Lance said, before shaking his head and letting out a laugh, though it sounded empty to his own ears.

“Lance…”

“I’m fine, just tired is all.” Lance said, standing up and backing away a bit. Shiro stood up as well, and when he reached out to set a comforting hand on Lance’s shoulder, Lance fled.

“Good night Shiro.” Lance said, before turning tail and nearly running from the room. He heard Shiro mutter a ‘good night’ too, but he had been so focused on getting away he didn’t register it much.

Making it to his room, Lance sat on his bed and closed his eyes, clutching his chest as it became difficult to breathe. Lance coughed suddenly, it hurt and burned as he violently tried to expel whatever was in his lungs.

Lance blinked at the handful of petal in his hand, a few violet ones and white petals, blood was with them. Not much blood, but there was still some. A little blood dripped from his chin and Lance used his free hand to wipe it off as he let out a laugh.

Lance knew it was possible, despite how rare it was. He seen it happen, and now, he get’s to learn more about it… Because the seeds have already been planted.

Now they’re blooming, and things are going to get difficult.


Lance had always been told he was so much like Mira, too self-sacrificing and too quick to take the pain of others. Too thoughtful, too selfless, too much kindness and not enough selfishness.

He was too much like his beloved oldest sister, too quick to make people happy, no matter how much it hurt…

Now he was even more like her, falling in love and it being unrequited. Too sentimental to give up his feeling of love, and too selfless to tell anyone about it in fear it becomes requited because of it.

Hanahaki.

Laughing bitterly, Lance crushed the flowers in his hand as he shook his head, tears falling. His love would not be requited, there was no possibility, and because he knew that, and accepted it, they bloomed.

Shoving the flowers into a drawer, Lance cleaned his hands before running one hand through his hair. He knew it was foolish, he was too selfless to fall in love, too quick to accept his fate, too dearly holding on to something knows he can’t have.

Maybe that’s why he laughed, knowing he couldn’t fix it. He knew when the seeds were planted, he knew it, because he knew his feelings, so he knew when they started.

Coughing more, Lance stuffed more flowers into the drawer, wiping his hands on his black flight suit. Sitting on his bed, Lance recalled the day he found out Mira had Hanahaki.

Lance sighed as he finally got home, he managed to escape his bullies. Mira was visiting and he was excited to see her. She had been seeming down lately, her skin grew paler, she lost her bright smiles and grins, and she began to lock herself away. She was coming home more often though, and he he tried to make her happy, telling her stories and adventures he had just to get her to laugh, because she was pretty when she laughed.

He was happy to see her, he never really asked about her, because his Mama and Papa would grow sad. So he kept quiet and waited for the times she would visit.

Running inside, he set his bag down and ran towards her room to see if she was already there, only to stop at gagging in the bathroom. Quietly peeking through the crack in the door, to see his beloved sister vomiting in the toilet. He went in to rub her back and hold her hair back, he did it for his other sisters when they were sick, and some of his long haired brothers. It always made him feel better to know he could help out, even if it was just a little.

“Hermana?” Lance whispered, and his eyes widened in horror when he saw her vomiting up flowers and blood… Lots of it. He panicked and rushed to her, hugging her and sobbing, all the while she cried and hugged him close, whispering in a hoarse voice about how sorry she was.

Two months later, Lance came home and looked for his sister, she began living with them again, only to find her collapsed on the floor, blood and flowers pooled around her body.

“Mama! Mama! Mira, Mama, Mira!” Lance frantically called his mother, who rushed home to find him wailing and hugging his sister. The flowers grew and wrapped around her lungs in vines and blossoms, filling them and tearing them open, while crushing her ribs. She suffocated on the flowers and blood, dying at the delicate age of 23.

It killed Lance inside.

“Lance! Wake up!” Hunk called through the door and Lance jumped, he hadn’t realized he had been so lost in his memories. Tears fell down his cheeks and he was shaking, wiping his eyes Lance frantically shut the drawer with the petals in it. Mira died long ago, twelve years ago, and… He might just join her.

Standing up, Lance put on his armor and left his room, meeting Hunk in the hallway. He missed breakfast so Hunk came to check on him. Lance smiled confidently as he patted Hunk’s shoulder, playing his normal overconfident self.

“Sorry Hunk, Beauty sleep is important!” Lance boasted as Hunk lead him to the kitchen. Him and Hunk talking as normal, the day going by like every other. Training, talking, bonding.

Of course, Lance limited his interactions with Shiro the best he could, because he loved him. It was a horrible thing to know it would never be requited, and he almost got over his feelings for the slightly older teen, only to suddenly help save him and be trapped on the same ship with him. He hid his feelings so well, at least, until he acknowledged he wouldn’t have his feelings returned.

Then the flowers bloomed and his chest began to burn and contract. It got worse the more Shiro smiled and praised, the more Shiro touched him, the more he looked at Shiro.

It hurt, so so much. He wouldn’t let anyone know, and always brushed off their concern with a joke or snarky comment. Shiro would look at him suspiciously, after running into him on the observation deck, Lance never returned, instead hanging out in Blue’s hangar.

Shiro obviously knew Lance was limiting their interactions, and he didn’t look pleased at all. Lance laughed and joked with Hunk, teased Pidge, and bickered with Keith as usual during lunch, but then Shiro walked in and Lance’s chest constricted painfully, the more he was around Shiro, the more his love solidified and the more flowers grew, constricted, and filled his lungs. Lance rubbed his chest, trying to make it seem unsuspicious, before he excused himself from lunch.

“I’m heading to visit Blue.” Lance said as he stood up, Shiro had been there for a few minutes, but the pain was getting bad, the disease was getting worse. Standing up, Lance quickly turned and left the room, aware someone was following him. Turning, Lance tensed, it was Hunk and the look on Hunk’s face told Lance this wasn’t going to be pleasant.

“Lance, you feeling ok?” Hunk asked and Lance went to sigh, but leaned against the wall with a shoulder as he coughed harshly into his hands, eyes widening at the horrible timing, blood poured into his hand, as well as a bunch of petals, blue and white. Hunk gasped in horror.

“Lance! You have Hanahaki?” Hunk cried and Lance looked around, glad no one seemed to hear, because no one came rushing up.

“Hunk shh! It’s fine.” Lance said as he stuffed the flowers and blood into his pocket. Hunk opened his mouth to argue, but Lance shook his head. “Please Hunk, don’t tell anyone.”

“Who? Who is it?” Hunk asked and Lance frowned, he couldn’t tell Hunk it was Shiro. If Shiro knew, he would reciprocate his feelings, and Lance would feel like shit. Hunk set a comforting hand on Lance’s back as they leaned against the wall, Hunk partially blocked Lance from the end of the hallway where the kitchen was. The comforting affection and trust in him had Lance breaking, he couldn’t lie to Hunk anymore, he couldn’t do that to his best friend.

“I-It's… It’s Shiro.” Lance whispered, and Hunk blinked before he began to hug Lance closer. “I didn’t think I fell so hard. It’s… It started blooming when I realized I couldn’t be with him, it… It wasn’t possible.”

“This is going to be just like-” Hunk swallowed heavily, the weight of it hitting him. “Just like Mira…” Lance just nodded, and it was quiet before Hunk took a deep breath and sighed.

“Ok… I won’t tell anyone. But if they find out on their own, I’m not covering.”

“Thank you Hunk.” Lance whispered, leaning into Hunk as he wrapped him in an embrace, Lance loved Hunk’s hugs, it was comforting and warm. It felt safe, even with him dying. It hurt so much more to force his best friend to keep his feelings hidden, the chest pressure and pain was horrible, but he hated doing this to Hunk.

“You know, now I’m dying in a beautiful way.” Lance joked dryly and Hunk groaned as he tightened his grip. Hunk was a great friend, and though he knew Hunk would be distraught about Lance refusing to confess to Shiro, he still would keep his promise. The cure was right there, and Lance refused it, and it was going to kill Hunk inside.

“Please don’t joke about this… Never something this serious.” Hunk said and Lance nodded, before he was released and Hunked watched him go to the Blue lion’s hangar. Lance spent a lot of time there, Hunk often seen him sitting with the Blue lion and talking to her, sometimes he was in the Blue lion, sometimes just polishing her metal. The two were close, even Coran and Allura admitted that Lance and Blue had an unusually strong bond, even for the blue lion being the one of loyalty, bravery, and courage.

Hunk sighed as he turned to go back to the kitchen, blinking a bit in surprise as Shiro stepped out, nearly bumping into him.

“Oh, Hunk. Is Lance ok?” Shiro asked and Hunk nodded, smiling as he rubbed his neck.

“Yeah, Lance is ok. Just a little homesick is all.” Hunk said, turning and going into the kitchen, he was a terrible liar, and if he didn’t get away, he’d break his promise to Lance.


Shiro noticed it more during training, a while after Hunk found out. He had been noticing Lance was seemingly ignoring him, only talking with him when it came to missions, training, or when Shiro scolded him. Lance wasn’t joking around or just talking with him anymore, and it hurt.

Lance had been sparring with Keith when he had jolted, and slid around Keith before dropping his bayard and bolting from the room.

“Bathroom.” was all he choked out as Keith blinked in surprise and the others confusedly looked at each other. Hunk worriedly watched the door, Shiro nearly chased him down, but decided to wait.

It was nearly twenty minutes before Lance finally came back, his eyes were slightly puffy and his hair was ruffled a bit, most likely from running his hands through it. Lance looked pale, and that’s extremely worrying because the teen was normally tan. Lance laughed off their concern his hands stuffed into the pockets of his armor.

Keith grouched at Lance for running off in the middle of their spar, poking at Lance for being afraid, and Lance pointed a dark, kind of damp looking, gloved hand at Keith saying something about Keith’s mullet making him sick.

Shiro sighed and broke up the impending argument, catching on to the quick dodge Lance made to avoid Shiro’s touch. Turning and huffing, Lance turned to Hunk. Nothing was said, but Hunk smiled and Lance grinned back, something didn’t feel right and Shiro resisted the urge to force Lance to speak up. There was something he was missing.

If it was serious, Lance would say something. He never hesitated to say anything before.

“Let’s continue.” Lance said, turning back to Keith after retrieving his bayard. Shiro watched in concern as Lance sparred with Keith, he was hiding something, and it was bothering Shiro…

More frustrating, Lance was avoiding Shiro.

~

Shiro didn’t want to bring it up, and he kept telling himself Lance would tell him eventually. Lance, however, continued to joke around and play it off, avoiding him, and coughing into his hand and dismissing it. Shiro admitted that if it wasn’t for the slight red on Lance’s hand, Shiro may have let it be.

Lance hid it well, frighteningly well that if he hadn’t caught on to something being wrong, he wouldn’t have known. Anytime someone brought up his cough, he would brush it off with his usual overconfidence and bravado. Shiro kept telling himself that if it was serious, Lance would tell him, but the way Lance has been avoiding their interactions made it clear he wouldn’t. So when Lance suddenly got up from dinner, spewing some excuse and bolting, Shiro followed him.

Lance had run to the bathroom and was crouched to to the toilet, huffing and coughing. Lance laughed weakly as he ran a shaking hand through his hair.

“Haha, figures…ack.” Shiro flinched when Lance started coughing, and vomiting, the sound of liquid hitting the toilet made Shiro worry. At first, he sounded like he had a space flu or something, but then Lance leaned back on his heels and put his slightly red stained hands on his knees, and Shiro caught sight of the blood splatters on the toilet seat and flower petals. Frozen in horror, Shiro watched as Lance suddenly threw himself over the toilet again and began vomiting more blood and petals, a lot of it.

“Lance?!” Shiro yelled as he rushed up, Lance’s eyes widening in horror at the sight of Shiro. “What’s going on?!” Shiro demanded and Lance scrambled and flushed the toilet, and blocked the blood on the seat as he faced Shiro.

“Nothing! It’s just the space flu!” Lance said quickly, and Shiro floundered for a minute, he didn’t actually know what space flu looked like, but this didn’t seem right.

Lance.” Shiro knew his sounded angry, and Lance flinched before standing up and shoving his hands in his pocket, his tense shoulders relaxed as Lance sighed, though it sounded rough. Lance could feel the barbs and vines in his throat and lungs.

“Seriously Shiro, it’s just the space flu, I didn’t say anything because it’ll just pass.” Lance said and Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose in anger, and to hide his hurt. He hated that Lance was hiding something from him, he may not know what the space flu looked like but something in the back of his head was telling him- screaming at him not to believe what Lance was saying, that something wasn’t right.

“I-Next time, you better tell what the hell is really going on.” Shiro said, his voice was intimidating and Lance looked away as Shiro stormed out of the bathroom, too angry to stay there and too afraid to let his hurt show and cause a problem. He was angry that Lance was lying to him, afraid that Lance didn’t trust him, it made his chest ache and burn.

Lance sagged on the bathroom floor, weakly breathing as tears welled up in his eyes. Brushing them away, he cleaned the blood up and the flowers, before making his way to his room. Lance was relieved that Shiro didn’t seem to remember what Hanahaki was, but he was also disgusted in himself for being caught.

“What am I supposed to do? I’m a fool.” Lance whispered to no one as he fell onto his back, the soft and comforting Altean mattress didn’t help his despair. Lance curled into himself and cried, quiet sobs and his body wracking in pain. The flowers blooming in his chest making it hard to breathe.

He was hurting everyone he loved, this disease was horrible. It was getting harder to hide, but now that Shiro knew, Lance was terrified everyone else would know. Blinking his teary eyes, Lance couldn’t stop the horrible memories from getting to him.

Mira coughing up blood and flowers, Angela starting to as well before being put into surgery. Lance threw and arm over his eyes as he let out a watery chuckle, though his chest burned and tightened.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered, he wasn’t going to have his feelings removed with the flowers. It was horrible. Angela never truly loved after that, and the one she loved never connected to her again, their bond ruined by the feelings being taken. He couldn’t risk ruining the bond, however fragile it must be now, with Shiro.

He couldn’t risk it, only hope that he could last long enough to do his duty until his death. Lance’s blue eyes dripped tears, locked onto the ceiling as he bitterly laughed, though it hurt terribly.

“It’s unfair.” His muttered, the beautiful flowers that fell from his lips, white hydrangeas and blue wisteria blossoms. Unfairly beautiful signs of his upcoming death. He always hated Hanahaki, it took Mira, shattered his family, stole an important bond from little Angela. She was only twelve, she didn’t deserve such a fate at a young age.

Sleep stole him away, into a darkness too terrifyingly familiar. Hospitals and graves, the very flowers trapped in his beloved sisters lungs graced the floor as she had her love taken, and familiar beautiful flowers gracing a far too familiar grave. Nightmares of memories, his broken family, his sisters, his scared little siblings, sad older siblings, his Mama’s broken heart, his Papa crying for the first time, but not the last.


Lance shot up in his bed, tears cascading down his face as he covered his mouth to muffle the screams that he knew would have been ripping from his throat had the flowers not been choking him. Coughing more up in the bathroom, Lance stumbled toward the hangars, he wanted to talk to Blue, to apologize for being too weak to give up his love. Only, he bumped into Keith, who was coming out of his room.

“What? What the hell are you doing up?” Keith whispered, but Lance only shook his head, reigning himself into control.

“Don’t worry about it mullet.” Lance said with his usual snark, but Keith only narrowed his eyes.

“What’s going on with you? Everyone is worried sick!” Keith hissed and Lance turned away, he could tell Keith was clenching his fists and gritting his teeth, he was too easily angered and impatient.

“Nothing you need to worry about mullet. It shouldn’t matter.” Lance said, he felt bad for his irritation, but he didn’t want Keith to know. He didn’t want anyone to know at all. Pulling from Keith’s reach, Lance turned and stalked down the hall to Blue, Keith fuming in the hallway. As soon as he was out of sight, Lance ran to Blue, rushing up to her as he coughed a few more flowers up.

“Hey Blue, I’m sorry.” He said as he ran a hand along her metal paw, the resounding purr through their bond and link comforted him.

Worry… Paladin… Affection. Lance smiled at the feelings, and laughed a bit at the image of them flying together.

“Of course Blue, til the moment every blossom stops.” Lance said and Blue rumbled in sadness, and Lance lowered his eyes a bit.

“I know, but there isn’t anything we can do Blue, I’m weak, I can’t risk it. I’m so sorry.” Lance said and Blue rumbled again, bending her head down so Lance could rub her nose, even though he knew she couldn’t feel it. He still did it because he knew she enjoyed it.

“I’ll do my best, but I can’t promise you something I can’t control. Night Blue.” Lance whispered, watching his lion return to her position. Leaving the hangar, Lance headed back to his room.

~~~~

Training the next day was awful, everyone was tensed and watching him in worry. Pidge knew something was off, but because no one said anything or jumped at him, Lance knew no one but Hunk knew of his disease. Shiro didn’t remember what it was, and he didn’t seem to go to Pidge with his concerns, so Lance continued training.

He did well, despite the pain and suffocating feeling. It wasn’t until Lance suddenly leaned over and began gasping as a flower blocked his air way. Coughing, Lance’s eyes widened in horror as everyone rushed over to him. Shaking away the hands and escaping, Lance collapsed against the wall of the training room, he faintly heard someone stop the training. Lance held a hand against the wall for support as everyone called out for him in worry, but his vision was going dark as he tried to dislodge the flower in his throat.

It was a full patch of Hydrangea, not just a few tiny individual blossoms. Lance weakly groaned as someone grabbed his shoulders.

Shit…” Was all he gasped out, as he slumped down, everything going dark.

~

Lance sprung up from the bed he was laid in, the burning in his chest and constriction was still there. Blinking, Lance barely registered someone speaking, maybe to him or not… He couldn’t tell.

“M-Mira…” Lance choked out as a petal fell from his lips. Suddenly, he noticed someone was shaking him. Eyes adjusting, he realized it was Coran, and he was speaking.

“C-Coran?” Lance asked Coran sighed, Pidge was in the room too. Rubbing his eyes, Lance turned to Coran.

“Pidge and Hunk explained to me what this Hanahaki disease is. Quiet odd that flowers grow in your chest. But! It would be rather easy to remove them, despite that you have a rather lot.” Coran said and Lance shook his head, waving off Coran as he stood.

“Lance, don’t be stupid.” Pidge said and Lance sighed as he tested his balance, before sticking his hands into his pocket.

“I’m not… I know what this does.” Lance said and Pidge rubbed her eyes. Lance groaned as he turned to face her.

“Lance! This isn’t something you can just brush off!” Pidge yelled, frustrated tears collecting in her eyes as Coran set a hand on her shoulder.

“If nothing changes, you’ll be getting the surgery no matter what.” Coran stated and Lance shot a bitter look at the Altean.

“No. Nope. Not gonna happen.” Lance said as he stalked towards the door, Pidge groaned and followed him, but he didn’t miss her worry.

“Lance, we need to tell the others. You shouldn’t be hiding this.” Pidge spoke up and Lance whirled on her, a horrified and fear wracked expression.

“No!” Lance said and Pidge jumped, before Lance turned away and covered his eyes. “Please, just… Let me tell them, I just need a little time.”

“Lance! You have fucking flowers in your lungs!” Pidge cried out exasperated and Lance turned to look at her, blue eyes glistening with tears.

“Please Pidge.” Lance muttered and Pidge’s breath hitched but she nodded, though he knew she would tell them if he didn’t sometime soon.

~~~~

Lance didn’t get to his room in time, hoping to avoid Shiro. He knew the others knew he had Hanahaki, but he knew Keith and Hunk wouldn’t say anything. Keith, because he probably was too emotionally distraught and Hunk was probably panicking so they wouldn’t be able to explain.

Lance seen his room, but failed to get there because Shiro suddenly grabbed him by the waist, pinning him to the wall. Lance tried to force his feelings down, he couldn’t start blushing and stuttering, this wasn’t the time.

“You aren’t going anywhere, now talk.” Shiro growled out, his flesh arm was gripping his waist and his Galra arm was on the wall beside Lance’s head.

“I-I don’t know-” Shiro caged Lance in more at Lance’s attempt at escaping. Shiro narrowed his eyes as he kept Lance trapped.

“Lance-” Shiro was cut off as Lance shook his head, trying to figure a way to escape.

“It’s nothing Shiro!” Lance exasperatedly said, he couldn’t tell him it was because he loved him. It would put unnecessary blame on Shiro. He couldn’t blame himself if Lance never told him.

“This isn’t nothing Lance!” Shiro yelled and Lance tried pushing Shiro away, but the slightly older teen refused. Fully pinning Lance against the wall, Shiro narrowed his eyes, daring Lance to lie.

Then the alarms went off, signalling they were under attack. Shiro growled as he narrowed his eyes at Lance.

“We aren’t done talking.” Shiro said, before letting Lance free, and they both ran to the hangars. Getting into their lions, Lance let out a relieved breath.

Lance felt awful, Shiro may have sounded angry, but Lance has a lot of siblings, he knew when someone was using anger to hide worry and fear.


The Galra kept them from forming Voltron, so they had to fight separately. Lance coughed up more flowers, Blue keeping them from being damaged while he threw up more flowers and blood. It was getting worse, the flowers were nearly fully bloomed and there was more blood.

Lance glanced at the controls and sighed a bit, the rest were doing good. Rushing and clearing more ships, Lance cursed in spanish as he was knocked to the ground. Blue was knocked out of commission for the most part. Lance could hear the others yelling at him as he left Blue, yelling at him to return to the controls.

“Blue’s out of commission, gonna have to do it the hard way.” Lance yelled back, shooting all the Galra rushing towards him, shooting ships out of the sky, protecting Blue the best he could.

“Lance! It’s not safe!” Shiro yelled at him, and Lance felt bad, there was terror in Shiro’s tone and he couldn’t help but like the concern. Shoving it back, Lance choked as his body felt on fire, his chest was crushing and he couldn’t breathe, but he kept shooting.

It wasn’t long till Blue jumped back in and blasted a Glara ship out of the sky, saving Lance from what would have been his demise. The battle was done and Lance could hear everyone breathing out and calming down over the comms.

“Lance?” Hunk spoke and Lance put his bayard away. Grunting, Lance began coughing violently, the terrified voices of his friends nearly overlapping each other over the comms.

“Lance!”

“Shit! Lance!”

“What the hell is going on Lance?!”

“Don’t you dare Lance!”

Lance blinked at the waterfalls of blood and flowers falling from his lips. Blinking blearily, Lance heard him being yelled at not to pass out. Lance laughed though, as he hunched over and began vomiting up more waterfalls of blood and flowers, so beautiful despite the fact that it was a sign he was going to die soon.

“Lance! Shit, don’t- god please!” Shiro cried into the comms, and Lance felt himself chuckle bitterly. He didn’t see his life flash before his eyes like in books or something, he just felt the pulling sensation in the back of his mind. He was in a lot of pain, and he felt weak as the world seemed to darken.

“O-Oh shit…” Lance said as the black lion landed near him, he looked at the ridiculous amount of blood and flowers, there was so much.

Lance finished coughing, and blinked at the figure running towards him as he crumpled. He got caught before fully hitting the ground as all the lions landed. Blinking up, Lance realized Shiro was yelling at him and looked on the verge of tears.

“Lance! Shit shit shit, don’t close your eyes!” Shiro was yelling, not understanding what was going on as the others dropped to their knees around him. He vaguely noted that Shiro wasn’t mad anymore, if anything, he look horrified.

“Shit! Why didn’t you tell anyone you had Hanahaki?” Keith yelled and Lance let out a pained cough, another flower falling from his mouth.

“I-I did…” Lance weakly said and Hunk shook his head.

“You should have told us all, not convinced me to keep quiet.” Hunk cried and the group began to panic. Pidge muttering quick explanations on the Hanahaki disease while Shiro rushed Lance to his lion. Hunk and Yellow brought Blue up to the castle ship while Shiro panicked with Lance and his fading pulse.

“Shit, god, Lance please.” Shiro muttered in panic as tears fell. He didn’t know what to do, he was missing to many memories, he couldn’t remember what Hanahaki disease’s cure is or if there even was a cure. His chest was burning and he felt like he was suffocating, fear and terror ripping him apart at the seams.

“I-It’s F-Fine…” Lance weakly said as he struggled to breathe, the flowers were getting worse, it was almost time. It’s been going on since they left Earth, but Lance has loved Shiro longer than that, which was why it was so bad.

“It’s not! Please, oh shit, Lance don’t leave… What do I do?” Shiro was definitely panicking now as they landed in the hangars.

“D-Don’t… Don’t let them… re-remove my l-love.” Lance muttered and Shiro blinked, before he finally remembered.

“Shit shit, who do you love? Fuck, we can find a way to-”

“S-Shiro… S-Stop…” Lance whispered and Shiro began to sob as he ran from his lion to the infirmary.

“Y-You can’t die! P-Please, d-don’t leave us… Don’t leave me.” Shiro cried, his hidden feelings, locked and pushed way coming to light. The others remained quiet as Pidge cried with Hunk, and Keith kept his eyes cast on the floor, tears dripping from his chin, Allura and Coran unable to do anything.

“S-Sorry…. S-Shiro.” Lance muttered as he lifted a shaky hand to Shiro’s cheek, having been placed on a medical bed. Shiro felt his chest burn, it hurt so bad, but he was too distraught to care.

“Please Lance… I love you.” Shiro begged, the last part his whispered as he closed his eyes and sobbed, the other paladins already past that point as they openly sobbed, wailed, and cried. Allura turned away and Coran covered his teary face in his hand.

Lance fell limp, and that was what shattered everyone. Shiro stood up, his chest aching as he brushed Lance’s hair back. Lance’s head fell to the side, everyone calmed down and grief strickenly moved over to Lance.

Only for blood and flowers to fall from his lips, Lance began to violently cough and hack it up. The blood stopped coming, but Lance continued to cough.

“Lance!”

“Shit, breathe man breathe!”

“He’s choking Keith, he can’t breathe!”

“Not the time Pidge!”

“Q-Quiznak-” Lance muttered before violently coughing again, Shiro helped him sit up, though Lance kept leaned over as he hacked up flowers. There were so many that just piled up, Shiro was terrified, and the other’s panicked as they tried to help, rubbing Lance’s back, helping Lance remove the flora by gently pulling the flowers and vines out.

It was a long painful process, but Lance finally fell still. Panicked, Pidge checked his pulse, but breathed in relief at the weak, but still there, pulsing. Lance was quickly scanned and laid back down, until those last few flowers come out, Coran couldn’t put him into a cryopod. Shiro didn’t let anyone try to perform the surgery, Lance had been adamant about that.

Then, about an hour later, Lance began coughing again, so they helped him up and lean over, as more flowers fell, then silence.

Everyone started crying, he was breathing, and coughing, but no more flowers fell from his lips. Coran scanned him again, before rushing him into a cryopod.

Then it was a waiting game. Shiro never left the room, watching Lance rest in the pod and heal, others came in and watched over him, or made Shiro eat.

Not once did Shiro leave the infirmary.

~

Lance vaguely remembered collapsing after the battle was over, he remembered darkness and flowers, then he remembered Shiro holding him and crying as Lance talked to him, but Shiro didn’t hear him over his panic and tears.

It’s fine… I accepted this… He remembered thinking that he was going to die choking on his blood and pretty flowers, though he thought it was nice to be in the arms of someone he loved.

Then Mira crossed his mind, she died alone, in pain and suffering, and Lance felt awful to have the person he loved hold him while he died.

Then he was thrown into darkness again, blood and familiar flowers surrounded him. White hydrangeas, blue wisteria, all so pretty, but they floated endlessly in the blood. Lance cupped one in his hands, vaguely aware that something was off, but unable to register it. Looking at his reflection in the blood, Lance noticed blood dripped from his chin and ran down his bare chest to meet the blood he was waist deep in.

Lance

Blinking he looked around, someone was calling him… Who was it?

Lance!

Shaking his head, he turned back to the blood, only to see a woman in white sitting in a white boat. She was beckoning him with a hand, her skin was nearly translucent, her eyes were closed and long bright hair framed her face. There were flowers falling from her mouth, the same ones Lance seen all around him.

Lance!

Hesitant, Lance decided to ignore the voice, going to the woman. The flowers were beautiful, and maybe she would lead him to other flowers. Reaching to touch the blue wisteria blossoms on the bow of her boat, Lance ripped his hand away as a familiar voice called out again.

Please Lance!

The woman beckoned him more impatiently, and Lance reached out again.

I love you.

Lance blinked as the voice finally opened his eyes. Shiro? Lance wondered, turning from the woman, and looking out over the blood and blackness, tons of white hydrangeas and blue wisteria floated in the blood, but Lance couldn’t see the source of the voice. Suddenly, Lance began to sink in the blood, it whirled around him with the flowers, the woman and boat disappearing.

“Quiznak.” Lance muttered as he was suddenly coughing up flowers and shit tons of them. A little blood too, he heard people talking but he was exhausted, his chest hurt and he felt like he was under water, so everything sounded distorted.

Next thing Lance knew, he was stumbling out of the cryopod, confused, dazed, and tired. Someone caught him, and on instinct, Lance tried to pull away.

“Lance!” the person holding him cried out in relief, and Lance blinked, he couldn’t quite think, his mind fuzzy from the pain he had been in and just coming from the cryopod.

“W-Wha? W-Who?” Lance muttered, coughing violently, but no blood or flowers came out thankfully.

“It’s me, Shiro. Pidge, Hunk, Keith, Coran and Allura too.” The voice said and Lance nodded weakly.

“Ugh… Am I dead?” Lance groaned as he suddenly dropped limp, he heard his name being yelled and then nothing.


Shiro jumped at the sound of Lance’s cryopod opening, the tired teen stumbled out and into Shiro’s arms, saving him from hitting the ground. Shiro hugged him close, so relief swarming his being. The burning lessened, but was still there.

“Lance!” Shiro cried in relief, everyone else jumping and rushing over. Lance coughed violently, but no blood or flowers fell.

“W-Wha? W-Who?” Lance muttered, sounding dazed as he finished coughing. Shiro pulled away a bit as he smiled at Lance.

“It’s me, Shiro. Pidge, Keith, Hunk, Coran and Allura too.” Shiro said, watching Lance in worry. Lance blinked slowly before he nodded weakly.

“Ugh…Am I dead?” Then he suddenly collapsed, but he was still breathing. Shiro hugged him close, before lifting him up. Nodding to the others, they followed Shiro to Lance’s room, only to grimace when they opened the door. Blood and flower petals littered his bed and floor, a half open drawer was filled with bloody flowers, they didn’t even dare look in the bathroom.

“I’ll… put him in my room.” Shiro said and the others nodded, Coran and Hunk moving to clean Lance’s room while Pidge and Keith worriedly watched Lance be moved to Shiro’s room.

Setting Lance down, Shiro covered him and breathed out in relief. The pain in his chest was gone, Lance was alive and breathing. Standing up, Shiro quickly pressed a kiss to Lance’s forehead. He’d apologize for being mad when Lance woke up and was coherent.

He cornered and yelled at Lance because he was worried and upset that Lance was lying to him and hiding things from him. He was fed up with Lance running and avoiding him to, so he pinned Lance to get answers.

Who knew his desperation to strengthen their bond would bring so many complications? For now, Shiro just wanted Lance to be ok.

They would figure the rest out later.


Well there it is, I know it’s short and probably a mess. I love the Hanahaki disease Au, its a great way to have angst and tragedy.