i laughed so hard when they did this

“Old Flames” ( Jooheon Smut)

Originally posted by mybabyoppa


Title: Old Flames

Featuring: Jooheon (Monsta x ) x Reader

POV: 2nd

Rating: Mature. Smutty car sex

Summary: You take Jooheon to a Halloween party being thrown by an old friend, who he feels is a little too close to you.

Requested by 2 anons! Thank you! 


You assessed yourself in the mirror, wearing a gold and white German-style dirndl dress with a long gold cape tied around your neck.  White stockings slipped into black Mary Janes’ and you hair neatly braided into pigtails on each shoulder.  You thought you pulled off the Goldilocks look quite well.

You left your room to find Jooheon standin in the living room, and let out a squeal when you saw him.

He had on one of those full-body kigurumi animal outfits on in the style of a fluffy brown bear, and he pouted at you.

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anonymous asked:

Mike did his wind up cause a Aaron fan tweeted him asking him to shoot Robert again. Basically feeding the frenzy. I do not understand how the concept of divorced, not together anymore, no robron is so hard for some Aaron fans to get their head around. This one even mentioned terrible husband and poor Aaron. Not worried about Robert thinking he fucked Alex over a night are they. But it’s poor Aaron when rob pretends to be with someone to destroy them.

Honestly I laugh at the aaron stans like that because when it comes to robert he’s the worst person for his actions but when it comes to aaron he’s a sweet innocent angel who’s actions get justified. Realistically we wouldn’t agree with Robert but it’s the whites he’s destroying. The family who’ve took so much from him. His brother. His husband. His family. Rebecca has tipped him over the edge. Why should Robert allow them to keep destroying other people’s lives? I’m glad he’s doing what he’s doing. That family need bringing down one way or another.

Hey y’all please don’t come after Katie for laughing like I think she looked really embarrassed and uncomfortable especially after she was very visibly singled out. She’s been very clear and vocal with fans, and interviews too so not just privately, that she believes in us and believes in Supercorp. I know we’re all hurt, and I am too, but I don’t think it’s fair to jump to conclusions about her in light of that. The rest of the cast? Idk them.

A lot of people, including myself, automatically laugh when uncomfortable. Or when all their friends who are present are laughing. I find it really hard to believe that she thinks Supercorp is something to make fun of especially with the number of times she has specifically validated it. I bet that if she did social media she would apologize asap and clarify how highly she thinks of us, but she has no way to do that.

TLDR Katie has been extremely supportive of her WLW fans and of Supercorp every time anybody has talked to her about it, both fans and interviewers. We don’t know what her laugh meant so maybe give her of all people some benefit of the doubt.

5

“Cards on the table?”

anonymous asked:

I wish you would write a fic about Scott getting werewolf drunk with Derek and accidentally letting it slip that Stiles is on love with Derek. (In honor of your drinking) ;)

“Scott, I’m going to kill you!”

The door of his apartment banged open and for the first time in years, Scott jumped in shock. His coffee mug hit the kitchen tile and shattered, piping hot coffee splashed over his bare feet, and he suddenly remembered Stiles saying at some point that he was learning how to mask his presence from werewolves.

Apparently he mastered that particular skill.

And how to magically and silently open a deadbolt.

Normally Scott would pick up Stiles’ familiar heartbeat two floors down, and his jeep while it was still a ways down the road, but this time, there had been nothing. No heartbeat, no jeep, not even footsteps in the hallway—until suddenly there was everything. Elevated heart rate, clouds of anger wafting through the apartment, Stiles stomping closer, furious for some reason, and Scott could do nothing to prepare himself because for the first time in his life, he was hungover.

Really hungover.

He was dying, because just the night before, he discovered in the stupidest way possible that yes, werewolves could get drunk with the right tools and a little determination. And the right tool was some crazy strong alcohol Stiles brought back from Poland last year that could punch straight through even an alpha werewolf’s metabolism. And what did he do with that discovery?

Shots.

Like a college freshman away from home for the first time, buckling under immense peer pressure.

He was hungover, he was dying, and he was an idiot.

An idiot who Stiles was apparently about to murder, judging by his murderous expression when he turned the corner and locked his wild, murderous gaze on Scott. His hair was tugged up in every direction, he’d probably slept in that loose and stretched shirt, and he had the manic energy of a man who’d been roaming the streets looking for vengeance.

It had been years since Scott last felt any kind of inkling of fear towards his best friend, but right then, standing in his underwear in a puddle of hot coffee, feeling nauseous and fuzzy and somehow bloated—he was horribly aware of the mountain ash that Stiles always had on him. It was the emissary’s favorite threat towards werewolves who pissed him off, and while he rarely ever followed through with it, that murderous face promised no empty threats. Just revenge.

Scott stepped out of the puddle of hot coffee. That was really all he could do to improve the situation.

“You told him,” Stiles accused, eyes narrowed with rage as he stalked closer. “You actually told him, I can’t believe you would tell him!”

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“voltron takes place in the near future”

Bitch where??????? Near future is probably like. 2020-2050 imo. We haven’t even gotten to fucking MARS yet and in Voltron canon they were able to get to Kerberos in TWO FUCKING MONTHS.

In retrospect: It took New Horizons TEN FUCKING YEARS to get to Pluto. NH’s speed varied across the journey obviously but averaging the Earth —> Jupiter speed (43,000 mph) with the Jupiter gravity boost (52,000 mph) we’ll say NH’s average speed was 47,500 mph (although this is probably really skewed cause by the time it reached Pluto it slowed to about 30,800 mph). Pluto is on average (not using Aphelion or Perihelion) 40 AU from earth. (abt 3,717,123,597 miles) 

This means that, factoring in the distance from Pluto to Kerberos (abt 36,000 miles) it’s 3,717,159,597 miles from Earth to Kerberos. It took a tiny, unmanned probe TEN YEARS to travel that distance. This means that, in Voltron canon, ships are able to travel 61,952,660 miles per DAY (given each month has 30 days, 30*2). In contrast, NH could travel about 1,140,000 mpd. Now from earth to mars let’s say it takes about six months with the current technology and the stuff NASA has planned. Mars is abt 140 million miles from earth. Divide that by 182.5 days (in 6 months) and that’s 127,853.88 miles per day. That’s with a ship with PEOPLE (and supplies, and everything else needed for the journey) on it with MODERN/POSSIBLY FUTURE SHIPS. IN 2016. So….yeah. I crunched some more numbers out of curiosity and it would take the voltron crew about 2 days to get to fucking MARS. MARS THAT TAKES US (give or take a month or two) 6 FUCKING MONTHS TO GET TO. They could get there in 2(.25) days. For us, going 127,853.88 miles per day it would take us SEVENTY NINE YEARS to get to Kerberos. I laughed really fucking hard abt this but GOD. Voltron is DEFINITELY not set in the near future. Because as things are now it would take us 79 fucking years to get to kerberos when it took Shiro and the Holts 2 months. So MY assumption is Voltron takes place probably 80-150 years in the future just because of how fucking SHITTY our space exploration technology is. I know I read WAY to much into this and did way too much fuckin math but I just thought this was interesting.

  • keith: did you and red find a way to bond?
  • lance: yeah! :) we did :)
  • [later, inside the Red Lion]
  • lance, in tears from laughing too hard: oh god keep going what other embarrassing stories do you have
  • red lion: okok so you know keiths jacket right? he bought that when he was 10 and I KID YOU NOT keeps wearing it even though it covers NOTHING because of the "~aesthetic~"
BTS Reaction: Them finishing quickly due to it being so long since they’ve had sex with their s/o

(SMUT) Anon Request


Yoongi

You felt him fill you up over and over as his thrusts became harder, making it impossible for you to keep quiet. You clung to his body tight, missing him against your body so much while he had been on tour for months. The unusual loud grunts and the occasional low growl from him told you just how much he had missed you too. Being too lost in the moment, you barely noticed his head move to the crook of your neck, and his hips stuttered in their movement before a deep groan left his mouth. He stopped his movements, panting hard as he looked up at you, slightly apologetic. 

“Yoongi did you just?”

He kissed you slowly as he pulled out of you. 

“Sorry baby, you felt too good. I’ve missed you so fucking much.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to take that as a compliment instead of being annoyed.

“Well, you better be ready to work yourself up again, because if you’re going to be lasting this long in the time I’m with you we’re going to have a problem.”

He laughed at your bluntness, slowly moving south down your body.

“Awe baby, you love my tongue just as much.” 

You bit your lip hard as he rested his head against the inside of your thigh. 

“Mark this as round 1. I love your tongue, but I love your cock more.”

Hoseok

His grunts were loud in your ear as he had you pinned up against his studio door, pounding into you at an insane speed. You could almost see stars, making you forget about anyone else that could possibly see through the fogged glass of his door or hear for that matter. It had been so long for the both of you and the feeling of him inside you was just sending the both of you crazy. When you felt him pull you closer to his body, his mouth attacked your neck, marking you all over your exposed skin. 

“Y/n…”

He muffled against your neck and his hips snapped against yours harder than before, causing a loud gasp to escape your mouth.

“Y/n, I can’t…”

His words were cut off by the long moan that left his mouth, his hips stopping for a second before he slowly rode out his orgasm. 

“Hobi.”

You whined as he pulled out of you, the embarrassment clear on his face. You pouted towards him and his eyes finally met your own.

“Sweetie, I’m really sorry. It’s been a while.”

He grabbed onto your hand softly, holding it against his chest as he leaned down to kiss you. You kissed him back softly, running your hands through his hair. 

“Are you gunna make it up to me?” 

You said, batting your eyes at him. He giggled towards you and pulled you over to his chair. 

“I’m going to make round two all about you sweetie.” 

Seokjin

He had made the effort to set up his bedroom all romantic for your arrival back to Korea, clearly planning out exactly what would have naturally happened anyway. At this point, the candle light and rose petals were a blur in your vision as you felt him thrust into you deeply against his bed. He peppered kisses all over you, from your neck to your jaw, and down to your chest. Being away from him this long didn’t do either of you any good but definitely made these times more intense. He had one hand pinning your arm above your head as he kissed you deeply, his other gripping your hip as his thrusts picked up a little. He suddenly parted from the kiss and you heard the shaky sigh that left his mouth as he hung his head against your shoulder. As you felt him fill you up, you sighed contently even though the experience was quick. As he pulled out, he kissed you quickly, moving to the side of you with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. 

“Missed me so much you couldn’t hold it in a bit longer hm?”

You said, holding back a small laugh, hoping to not offend him. 

“Jagiya, I’m sorry. But I did miss you a lot. It’s so hard when you go away for that long. I lose my control.”

He giggled softly at his own remark. You cuddled closer to his body.

“It’s ok, we have a lot of time to build up your control again.”

Namjoon

He was the type to either take his time and cherish your body, or fuck you for hours until your throat ran dry and you couldn’t keep back the tears of pleasure prickling down your cheeks. Though tonight, after not seeing you for months due to work, he was acting a bit more needier than what you were used too. He was usually controlled and very aware of how he wanted things to pan out, but tonight was wild. He had you naked on the kitchen counter as he fucked you hard, his hands roaming all over your body, trying to feel every inch of your skin as his hot breath hit the side of your face. Your legs were wrapped tightly around his waist and surprisingly, you were so close to your release. The way his hips slammed hard against you were driving you crazy and just before that heat could start building up, his teeth sunk into your shoulder, muffling the low growl he let out, his hips slowly coming to a halt. 

“Joonie no.”

You gasped out, whimpering as he pulled out slowly. He lifted your chin with his finger so your eyes met with his, a small, cocky grin on his face. 

“I would say sorry, but the way you just whined out my name was so sexy babygirl. Sexy enough for daddy to go another round and make you feel good.”

Jungkook

The boys had been cockblocking the two of you all night. Unfortunately, Jimin’s idea of throwing a dinner party right when you had returned to the country wasn’t such a good idea for the tension between you and your boyfriend. Which is what led the two of you sneaking away to the bathroom while the boys were preoccupied with a dumb drinking game. The two of you stood in front of the bathroom mirror as he took you from behind, your skirt hiked up above your waist and your panties pushed to the side as he fucked you hard. One of his hands were hidden under the front of your shirt as he played around with your nipple through the thin fabric of your bra, while the other was covering your mouth to keep you quiet. The sound of his hips hitting your ass was the loudest noise in the room though you couldn’t find the sanity to care as he fucked you faster and harder. Your eyes never left his as you watched each other through the mirror.

“F-fuck, y/n.”

You heard him stutter as he slammed into you hard one last time, an audible gasp leaving your lips through his hand as you felt him fill you up. As he pulled out, he took a second to catch his breath as you fixed yourself up. 

“That didn’t take long. Almost as quick as when I took your virginity.”

You smirked and looked towards him as he zipped the fly of his pants up. He stared towards you with a dark expression, then suddenly, spinning you around quickly, he lifted your skirt up again and smacked your ass hard. You yelped softly, enjoying it more than anything. You saw him with an evil grin in the mirror and tried to hold back your laughter by biting your lip. His hands gripped your hips hard as he came up next to your ear.

“Watch what you say princess, I might just not let you cum later on if you’re going to be cocky about it.”

You bit your lip and shot him your sexiest stare, rubbing your ass against his crotch. 

“Was that wrong of me? Am I going to be punished when we get home? Have I been a bad girl?” 

You whined out. He just laughed evilly, smacking your ass lightly again as he pushed you towards the door. 

“You got no fucking idea baby.”

Jimin

You had been teasing him the whole trip home, groping him, pulling his hair, whispering dirty things in his ear and also delaying the time it could’ve taken you both to get home by stopping into the shops. It was dark when you pulled over into an almost empty car park and that’s when he took the opportunity to shut you up. You were quickly sprawled out on the back seat of your car, Jimin fucking you hard and fast, not caring about who heard the two of you from outside. The windows were already fogged up and you found the fact that he got so worked up over your actions earlier so hot that the heat in your body was rising quicker then usual. It had also been so long since the two of you had been together, causing a huge amount of sexual tension and cravings. You decided to test the waters though. 

“Jimin Oppa.”

You moaned out softly. You watched his breath hitch in his throat and a little choked moan came out of his mouth as he stared down at you.

“Y/n, don’t.”

He whispered in a slightly seductive tone. You didn’t care though, ignoring what he said.

“Oppa.”

You moaned out louder then before, causing him to thrust hard into you a few more times as you felt him cum inside you. 

“Shit.”

He said breathlessly, laying on top of you. There was a small silence before you spoke.

“Did that really set you off early?”

You said giggling. He shied away a little bit as you both sat up, attempting to get dressed quickly. 

“Hey! You’ve been messing with me all night. Plus I haven’t seen you in months. Plus, You haven’t called me Oppa since we were in high school.”

He said the last part hushed and you could tell he was embarrassed by it.

“But you liked it, right?”

You watched him nod slowly, finally his eyes meeting with yours. You laughed towards him, scooting closer to hug him. 

“I missed you Oppa.”

Taehyung

You had offered to pick your boyfriend up from the airport on the day he arrived, but quickly shutting you down, he didn’t want to put you out of your schedule for the day. It was a little odd seeing as you hadn’t seen him for months, but you took the time to dress up in something you knew he’d like when he arrived to your apartment. When he had finally shown up at your front door, you opened it wearing only a white-floral, mesh bra that tied up around your neck, basically see through, along with a matching, white thong that had a small crystal hanging above your backside, making you feel extra seductive. His reaction was clearly what lead you both to the bedroom. Disregarding your underwear all over the floor of the living room, obviously desperate to get what he wanted. He lay beneath you as you rode him slowly, his length filling you up exactly how you remembered and exactly how you missed. You watched his eyes roam over your body as you placed your hands on his chest. His hands wondering from your hips, up your stomach and then finally, to your breasts. Your body finally felt content having him home again and just as you were about to speed up, he flipped you over onto your back.

“Tae.”

You said breathlessly as he sped up, thrusting harder into you, making it impossible for you to keep quiet, as well as him. His forehead rested against yours as he kept moving, his eyes baring into yours and then, they fluttered shut and his movement slowed right down as his mouth hung open, choked moans escaping his lips. He moved off of you slowly, laying on his back next to you as he calmed down. Then he reached his arms out to you, pulling you against his chest. 

“Sorry.”

He said slightly laughing at the situation. You sat up suddenly pouting at him, and he laughed even more and attempted to sit up as well, but you pushed him back down. 

“No, no. You’re helping me out until you’re ready to go again.”

You said quickly climbing on top of him, positioning in between your thighs above his head. You saw the smirk on his face as he hooked his arms around your thighs, pulling you down closer to his lips. your hands moved down and gripped his hair softly. 

“It won’t take me long, I missed you too much so get ready for an all nighter.” 

this gif … I wanna sit on his face


I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE GIFS CREDITS TO GIF OWNERS

A/N: As you can see, the more I wrote, the more I got carried away and detailed. Actually, Writing Jungkook’s killed me. Like every time I write something about Jungkook, I start thinking about him and I wanna tell him to swerve because he ain’t my boy but like, he’s too god dam sexy! dw Tae you still the number one like slay me now! Anyway I really hope you all enjoy this! I had so much fun writing it and more requests will be posted soon! Mwah! x

Sisters in the snow

posted by reddit user MCDexX

I remember it like it was yesterday, although it was decades ago.

My sister and I had been fighting again, like we did so often, like I suspect most sisters do at that age.

This fight got more heated than usual. I screamed an obscenity at my sister before turning to storm out of the room, but then my neck suddenly whipped back painfully and I realised she was yanking my hair. In pain and shock, I spun around and slapped her hard across the face.

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I have – quite literally – never laughed so hard in my life.

Come experience the descent into madness, and thank you all for SDM hitting 75k followers.

This one’s for you.

(https://youtu.be/XlE2zZ2dhTU)

Also, everyone did a fantastic job staying positive last time, and not sayin’ mean stuff about any writers – let’s keep that going here! Pick on the words, not the people… even when those words do melt brains, this is all in fun <3

–Colin

Speaking of creatures coming from another planet, you recently collaborated with Alex Turner and Miles Kane of the Last Shadow Puppets…" -

“(She bursts into laugher and claps her hands) They are truly hilarious, two madmen. They do not live far away from me, in Los Angeles. I’ve begun to train two evenings a week in the studio of Miles, in the neighborhood of Los Feliz, to play with no goals with the Last Shadow Puppets. Then we go eat dinner together with their girlfriends in ‘La Poubelle’ What a squad! I can’t count the amount of times I’ve ended up on the ground because I was laughing so hard. They are capable of speaking to one another by singing, with improvised lyrics. For example, one evening, I’ve told Miles about the concert of Joan Baez which I attended. He has never heard about her. Alex made up a song on the spot “Miles doesn’t know who Joan Baez is” (she screams)… None is ever safe of their twisted humor. When I first met them, I did have the impression that I met musicians who only live for the music, whose only thoughts are about music. Singing with them is truly invigorating, there is no need to repeat anything, they always find a continuation.

—  Lana Del Rey talking about Alex Turner and Miles Kane ( Les InRockuptibles, 2017)