LISTEN it’s still the Morning and im already deadt LOOK AT HIM THROWIN AWAY THE SUN THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR PLUS HES ALREADY HELLA DRUNK OH MY GOD ((he’s treatin those snakes the way they deserve to be treated; like rubbish))
i know people like to point out henry vii changing the beginning of his reign to august 21st 1485 instead of august 22nd and thus making everyone who fought for richard a traitor to the crown, as proving how evil and bad he was or whatever they say
but truly i think it is the funniest thing ever, henry was so goddamn extra
BTS Reaction - You need help a lot with opening things, etc.
could you make bts reactions to you (S/O) needing help often? such as trouble opening things etc.
Wow okay I am such a shitty person, this has been in my inbox for like 66 years and I am just getting to it. I am so sososososo sorry, here it is!
He’d laugh when he saw you struggling to pry open a jar of pickles, and would stand there until you turned around to call his name. You’d just pout as he popped the top of the lid open with no problem.
“It’s not that hard, see?”
Being his tall ass, he’d see you standing on your tip toes to try and reach some plates that were stacked on the top shelf. Namjoon would just walk over and reach above you to grab the plates easily with one hand.
“Just ask me next time,” he’d laugh and you’d kiss his cheek in thanks.
Moving was a drag and you didn’t want to take more trips from the house to the car more than you had to. You stacked 3 boxes of kitchen plates and glasses on top of each other and hadn’t realized that the weight would pull you down. Seconds before the boxes crashed down onto the pavement, Taehyung swooped in and grabbed two of the three impending boxes of doom out of your arms.
“You need to be careful! Can’t have the love of my life breaking her back over dishes and plates.” He’d remind you with a boxy grin.
You pulled back in a hurry, quickly pinching your finger and whispering, “ow, ow, ow,” as red emerged from your nail bed. “Are you alright?” Hoseok would ask, coming over to inspect your injured finger. While you went to go tend to your wound, Hobi would take it upon himself to finish nailing the small hook into the wall for the picture frame.
“Be more careful next time, alright babe?”
You could absolutely not get the damn dishwasher to open. There must have been a plate or something that was sticking out, preventing the washer to open up. Jimin came down as you were messing with it and nudged you to the side. With a quick flick of his hand, the dish rack moved backwards with a clink and slid out. He only smirked at you as he walked away.
“You’re welcome!” He said playfully from the living room.
Something about putting the crib together while he was at work didn’t feel right, and you knew you were correct when you couldn’t even figure out which parts went where. Seokjin came home and sat down next to you as you refused to let him help you, but when you decided you were too hungry for this, he took over and had it finished in 15 minutes.
“It’s okay, you’ll get it next time,” he’d joke.
“Can..you just..get this for me?” You’d ask, desperate for some help opening the plastic lining on a particularly annoying piece of Halloween candy. It was one of those sour things that for some reason you could never open without scissors, and even then you’d end up skimming the top of the candy and ruining it. Jungkook would look over, candy stuck in his own mouth as he took the piece and tore it open with ease.
He’d just wink at you as the two of you continued to cuddle and watch scary movies on the couch.
Boyfriend: I don’t know, I don’t really find Korean girls that attractive. I found Japanese girls more appealing.
Me: You haven’t even seen that many Korean girls, let me show you.
*Show picture of IU*.
Boyfriend: She’s cute I guess.
*Show picture of Jessi*.
*Show picture of CL*.
Boyfriend: she’s okay but would be better brunette.
*Show picture of yoongi as yoonji*.
Boyfriend: She’s really cute.
I’m trying so hard not to laugh, I will never ever, ever let this die.
so I recently got a jacket that looks like viktor’s and I was wearing it during school and this one girl saw the back of it while i was leaving and yelled “VIKTOR, BE MY COACH!!!” and I was laughing so damn hard all the way to the bus like you don’t understand
Summary: You’ve always said that you’re
boyfriend was capable of fucking you through the mattress. Why did he
have to take it so literally ? a/n: this is short and stupid. Also
despite the subject matter not smutty. I mean there’s mention of sex, so.
You have never been more embarrassed in your life. Finn, the idiot, is
laughing so hard he’s no longer making noise. You are mortified. Maybe
you’d be laughing along with your giggling boyfriend if it wasn’t for
the fact you knew this was going to be a story he told all your friends.
So i start my shift, leave the staff room which is upstairs and get onto the 2nd story shop floor and head down our huge staircase to the first floor.
This white guy/ customer is standing at the bottom of the stairs just staring me down as i go. I’ve just started my shift so i try and be as bubbly and cheerful as my hatred for retail will allow and ask “ hi sir… do you need any help?..”
His hard expression turns almost to disgust as he responds “You’re not my wife.”
Before i can even stop myself i respond “Thank god” laughing as i walk away.
He tried his best not to make eye contact with me the whole time before him and his wife finally left the store.
Link and Sidon come up with combat strategies together. Link using arrows during a lightning storm while Sidon fights close-range that way he'll be safe from the lighting. Sidon throws Link high into the air so he can attack from above. Or alternatively, Sidon just fucking throws Link as hard as he can at an enemy while Link uses Daruk's Protection
JUST CHUCK YOUR MATE AT THE LYNEL
This ask made me laugh so hard om g. I love the idea of them strategizing together.
And then just going ‘fuck it’ and chucking link at the enemies like a fucking bomb