i laughed for like 50 years

So I saw a friend talking about how Spirit Halloween will be making a set of Kingdom Hearts costumes

So I decided to check them out, knowing they probably weren’t going to be high quality cosplay costumes or anything.

“Huh, okay, that actually doesn’t look too bad.”


But when I got to Sora, the costume isn’t what made me lose it


I wasn’t sure why i just lost it. I don’t know it if it was the wig, his forced smile that looks like he’s getting so close to just losing his shit, or his scruffy beard for some reason. It wasn’t the costume I swear


I snorted and laughed for a good 20 minutes because this was the first thing that popped up into my head

“When Donald doesn’t heal you for 50 years”

Muñeca.

Paring: Bucky Barnes/Hispanic!Reader.

Warnings: SMUT. Reader being a HUGE flirt, spanish, talk about books and music in spanish, fingering, sofa sex, Bucky using some words in spanish. Alcohol.

Word Count: 1881.

Rating: 18+.

Masterlist.

Apparently some people in this fandom (read White People) have a problem with authors writing for readers of color, since I am a real Bitch and I’m fresh out of fucks I decided I was gonna write not one, but two POC Reader inserts, this is one of them. The next one is gonna be Black!Reader and Bucky. This is dedicated to that anon @papi-chulo-bucky got last week who was crying about Haunting Me being a POC reader insert and, of course, to all the other bitches who want to complain about POC!Reader inserts being discriminatory towards White People.

Yes, I’m The Queen of Salt.

Tagging; @sexylibrarian1 @thecrownedrose @erisjade @bladebarnes @ryverpenrad @acunningstargazer @palaiasaurus64 @marveldcmistress @supernatural-girl97 @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19

I mention my dad’s favorite book “Love in the Time of Cholera” by Gabriel García Márquez, you should check his books out.

Also, mentioned in the fic this argentinian group (hey! @connieisland) called Soda Stereo here are two songs one and two

And the lyrics are from this song by a Venezuelan rapper called Reis Belico.

Wow. This was long. By the way, Muñeca means doll.


Keep reading

stenbrhoe  asked:

oof,,, 50s/60s reddie as teenagers and richie is a greaser but hes actually a softie and like eddie is this cleancut kid and richie invites him to a party,,, please make it gay

Umm haha I hate myself because I love this so much?? It’s so much longer than I expected it to be too, I just kept thinking of more and more ideas - I hope that’s okay!! Also a special thanks to my favourite, @losvers-clubb for helping me out with ideas!!

Keep reading

Reita and Uruha vs a 50-year-old man who is in love with Kai

Dark Side Mail

Reita (reading mail): “Listen to my Dad’s dark side. So we like the GazettE together, but my dad loves Kai a weird amount. When he gets drunk, out of nowhere he’ll be like ‘I love Kai..’ and I’ve caught him watching DVDs to see Kai. He says his dream is to smoke a cigarette with Kai. And he says he wants to get a World Tour VIP ticket and shake hands with Kai before he retires. I’m grateful that we can appreciate the same music together. Please watch out for my 50-year-old father’s passion. And I love Uruha with the same passion. Please take care of yourselves and keep working hard! PS - I don’t believe my Dad is 'like that’.”

(Uruha was giggling this whole time)

Uruha: So I guess the Dad just, you know, he has a family…and he just loves Kai too?

Reita: Well, we don’t know in what way he loves him…

Uruha: Well you see, we understand the true nature of this individual human called Kai.

Reita: Yes.

Uruha: We understand what kind of being he is, his ecology.

Reita: Ecology (dying laughing)

Uruha: We know what he likes, what he is living for.

Reita: Yes.

Uruha: We have a thorough understanding.

Reita: We have a thorough understanding, yes.

Uruha: Yes…and that is why he horrifies us.

(both burst out laughing)

Reita: So anyway, he says he wants to get a world tour VIP ticket and shake hands with him before he retires, and he’s 50 now, and I guess he’ll retire at 60? 65? Well let’s say 60, so that’s in 10 more years. So we gotta do a world tour then, huh. Cause you know at the end we shake hands with the fans, that’s his dream.

Uruha: Aw but that’s so nice of him.

Reita: Yeah, smoking a cigarette with Kai tho…does he even smoke now?

Uruha: Yeah, I think…I think he actually does.

Reita: Well he says he quit…

Uruha: He doesn’t smoke in front of us.

Reita: And like, I thought he had quit but…you know how he is…

(both laugh)

Uruha: Can we be saying this stuff?

Reita: No but really, he was sneaking cigarettes before, I found a pack in his jacket pocket. And then I was like, “hey, you’re smoking aren’t you,” and he was like “What’s that!?”

(both laugh)

Reita: But no I don’t think he smokes now…

highlight of m'shift was this dude who had to be in his 40s or 50s staring @ my ass and using the phrase “a little thing like yourself” wrt.. me and me telling him his total and me following it up w/ “that was a good year” (it was like.. $14 something).. he laughed and immediately looked uncomfortable when i did not and just stared @ him.. and i made it even nicer for him when he was like “can i ask you a personal question.. is your hair natural?” and i instantly followed it up w/ the same void of feeling expression and tone and “i don’t know. is it?” and did not break eye contact while he just looked like deeply uncomfortable.. loved that

4

“What I’m so glad about these movies (No, Neruda) is that I have the confidence that these films will be seen by my grandchildren, and seen by people in 50 years time — if the world still exists […] I have no idea if Clockwork Orange ever won an award, or ever was nominated, yet people will always see it past the ages. And there are films that have won the Oscar that nobody will ever see again. Films that have won like Best Film, there are names—I’m not gonna say them (laughs)— but you know which they are, or you forgot about them already!” 

In Conversation with Gael García Bernal | TIFF 2017

Hair Stylist (Spencer Reid x Reader)

A/N: Hey guys! So my requests are now open YAY! I wanted to write this before I drowned in requests again so I hope you like it!

Warnings: super cute Spencer fluff is coming in hot

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Prompt: Spencer is very picky about his hair and you seem to be the only one he likes the end result of.

Requested by: me

Upcoming Imagine: none at the moment!

-

Spencer is very sensitive to parts of himself.

He only trusts certain people to take care of him.

He likes things his way, and only his way, and he refuses to let anyone, anyone… to cut his precious hair.

Well, anyone but you.

He refuses to go to any barber because they cut off way too much and don’t listen to his wants, so that’s when he decided he needs to go to a salon.

Now, at first he was a little insecure about going in and asking for a haircut with a place full of old ladies with curlers in their hair and all women stylists, but he remembered how intricate women can be and how this is the best option for relief.

Spencer walked into your little salon, the little bell tinkering as he entered.

You looked over and smiled at him, finishing the little snips on your customer before helping the man at your desk.

“Hello.” You said with a smile.

“H-Hi. I-I’m not interrupting am I?” He said, nervously playing with the strap of his bag.

“No not at all. How can I help you?” You asked sweetly.

You could tell he was nervous, his flushed face and fidgeting fingers gave it away. “Do you want to schedule a hair appointment?” You asked.

It wasn’t very common where men came in for haircuts, but it certainly wasn’t weird.

“Y-yeah, can I do that? I mean… is that okay?” He asked.

“Of course it is! I can get you in today if you’d like.” You said flipping through your planner. “I can start in aboouut… 15 minutes.” You said chewing on the end of your pen.

“Y-yeah that would be great.” He said with a small smile.

“Perfect! You can take a seat right over there, I just made cookies this morning and there’s coffee over there as well. Help yourself!” You said pointing to the little waiting corner.

“Okay. Thank you.” He said with a smile.

“Oh wait! Can I get your name?” You asked making him turn around.

“S-Spencer.” He said looking at the older lady whose hair you were cutting, and she smiled at him.

He smiled back and then sat down, deciding to pass on the cookies and coffee.

He didn’t want to draw any more attention to himself.

About 10 minutes later, you had finished blow-drying the lady’s hair and she was out the door.

After sweeping the hair out of the way and cleaning up, you called Spencer to your chair.

He quickly got up and sat in the chair before you pressed the little level on the bottom of the chair to lower it as low as it goes.

“I’ve got to make sure I can reach your head. You’re so tall.” You said with a smile before running your fingers through his hair.

He gasped as he felt your nails scratch against his scalp, instantly loving the feeling.

“Okay Spencer what can I do for you? Just a trim or do you want a few inches off? You say, I do.” You said with a smile.

“Umm an inch and a half off, I think.” He said as you continued to run your fingers through his soft hair and look at him in the mirror.

“Alright let’s get you over to the sink so I can wash your hair. It’s easier to cut when it’s wet.” You said turning the chair and taking him to the back.

“Okay sit here and put your neck there.” You instructed.

Spencer complied and almost felt pampered.

He hasn’t even had someone run their fingers through his hair like that before, so just that was a treat.

You turned on the little shower head and tested the warmth before gently wetting his hair.

You looked down at him and smiled.

He had his eyes closed and you could see the relaxation on his face.

You then got out some shampoo and started scrubbing it into his hair.

“How are you doing?” You asked scratching and scrubbing the soap into his hair.

“Great.” He said rather quickly.

“Have you ever been to a stylist before?” You asked as you rinsed his hair.

“No. I always went to barbers but they never cut my hair right so I decided to come to a salon. Is that normal… having men go to salons?” He asked as his cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

“Yes it is normal. I don’t get many but it’s totally normal. I understand that your picky with your hair, I am too.” You said with a smile before wringing out his hair and then sitting him up.

“Alright take a seat here again.” You said.

After he sat down in your swivel chair, you wrapped one of the black capes around his neck and started to brush through his hair.

“Does your hair part down the middle?” You asked grabbing your scissors.

“Yeah.” He said nervously.

“Okay so… is this about the right amount you want off?” You asked holding his designated length out for him to see.

He nodded and then you started cutting, his brown and wet hair falling to the floor.

As you cut his hair, you could see his anxious face.

“Don’t worry it isn’t that much, and my end result will be much different from a barber’s.” You said running your fingers through his hair again, noticing a shortness in the length up front.

“Do you have bangs?” You asked with a smile. For some reason you found that cute.

“I-I do. Can you like… even them out per say? Umm like when you take that thing and…”

“An A-frame?” You said smiling at his poor explanation.

“Yeah, that.” He said with a smile.

Once you finished cutting his hair, you took the cape off of him and then started blow drying his hair.

Once you were finished, he looked just as he did before, but a little shorter, and with more shine and volume.

“Wow. You did a great job.” He said with a smile as he poofed his hair.

“Finally. You built the suspense 50 stories high.” You said with a laugh. “Thank you I’m glad you like it.” You said as he stood up.

“How much do I owe you?” He asked looking down at you with sweet and happy eyes.

“Just ten dollars.” You said with a smile.

He pulled out a twenty and handed it to you. “Keep the change.” He said with a smile.

“What?! Oh my gosh Spencer I can’t take that much of a tip.” You said with a big smile.

“No no please do. It’s taking me years to find someone who gives me a satisfied end product. You deserve it.” He said taking his messenger bag from the coat rack.

“I’ll see you around.” He said with a small wave.

“O-okay! See ya!” You said still in shock by the huge tip.

Throughout the year, Spencer would come in for haircuts about every other month, and every time he would be satisfied.

“These are really good cookies.” Spencer said, his mouth full of chocolate chips and delicious dough.

“I always try to schedule appointment’s when they are fresh.” Mary, a frequent customer, told Spencer.

The more often he came to your salon, the more comfortable he got.

All of the old ladies loved him and always teased him and gave him staining cheek kisses, and as it goes for you, you loved cutting his hair.

You took note how he loves it when your nails are long and how he wants his hair cut, and he would always give you huge tips, which you always tried to decline but he always insisted.

And one time, when he gave you a folded twenty and after he left, you went to put the money in the cash register, and a little white slip fell out.

Confused, you picked it up, and saw little roman numerals on it.

There were 7 symbols; a phone number.

You had remembered your roman numerals awhile back, and you dialed it into your phone and pressed call with a smile on your face.

“I see you found out my riddle.” You heard Spencer’s voice say on the other line.

“I did. That was pretty sneaky of you.” You said with a laugh.

“Well umm… I was wondering if you’d like to talk more often, instead of once every two months.” He said shyly.

He had to admit, he missed you over the months that he hasn’t seen you.

“Yeah! Of course, do you want to get coffee tomorrow?” You asked twirling your pen, and then dropping it on accident.

Thank god he wasn’t there to see that.

“Yeah yes that would be perfect. I… I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He said smiling.

“Yeah! Bye Spencer.” You said.

“Bye Y/N.” He said before hanging up.

He couldn’t help himself from smiling from ear to ear, proud of himself that he had the guts to ask you out.

You did the same thing.

You smiled and started jumping around in excitement like a 5-year-old.

You got out your planner and wrote down your date with Spencer tomorrow and then called your morning clients to see if they could reschedule.

Tell me about your irrational fears and childhood dreams. Tell me about your scars and all the wounds that never seemed to heal inside of you. Tell me why you find comfort in the night sky and why you never walk away from fights. Tell me what you think about when you’re awake at 3 in the morning, and all the what ifs swimming in your head. Tell me what makes you laugh, and what made you cry in the past. Tell me about your first heartbreak and your last try at love. Tell me about your mother’s laugh, and the food she cooks for you. Tell me about your first fight with your father, and the first time you saw him cry. Tell me about the 5-year-old you were, and the 50-year-old you want to be. Don’t tell me your favorite color, tell me why it is. Don’t tell me where you grew up, tell me what it was like growing up there. Don’t tell me about yourself, tell me who you are. That’s the conversation I want to have and the things I want to hear.
—  a. gale, Can’t we skip the awkward small talk and dive down into the depths?
Freshman Fifteen (18+) Expansion warning

Freshman Fifteen

Georgia R Summers is her name, Georgie for short. She recently graduated top of her class at her high school. She has the supreme setup. 18, blonde, popular, and drop dead gorgeous. R-rated version of a Disney super star. Her family is pretty rich so she didn’t need a full ride, but her grades got her one anyway. Offers from two ivy leagues.

Fast forward one month, 11pm alone in the dorm room at her new college.
“No, yeah, no. Like I get it but literally it makes no sense. Yeah..” She rambled into her iPhone 6s plus. She was laying on her stomach, kicking her legs in her forever 21 yoga pants.

“No, it’s pretty great. I mean, it could be better.”

“Better? A free ride to an Ivy League and you’re trying to complain about something? What could possibly be wrong.” Replied her friend Amy.

“There’s just like, a lot of ugly people on the quad. I swear the people at BHS looked better than they do here.”

“That’s such a bitch thing to say” laughed Amy.

“Shut up, ugly.” Giggled Georgie. “Like, not being mean but I saw a guy who must’ve been 400 pounds. It was gross” scoffed Georgie

“That’ll be you in like a month.” Joked Amy as she crunched down on some microwave popcorn

“What are you talking about? You don’t even have a leg to stand on 145” snapped Georgie passive aggressively.

“Don’t they have like endless buffets there? And like dining halls everywhere. You’ve heard of the Freshman Fifteen right?” asked Amy

“Not really, it sounds dumb.” she replied dismissively while snapchatting herself on her second phone.
“They say that you gain fifteen pounds freshman year of college, considering the way you eat it will probably be 50.” Laughed Amy

“Fuck you, I should go to bed.” Pouted Georgie

“I can’t wait to see you balloon up. You’d be so cute and funny all chubby and soft” daydreamed Amy

“You would like that wouldn’t you, dyke. I’ll talk to you later”
“Byeeee”
*click*

Georgie grabbed the bag of tortilla chips and ginger ale from the kitchen and laid on her bed scrolling through Amazon with her laptop resting on her flat, toned stomach. An hour passed as she looked at random items to waste her dad’s money on. The clock read 12:25, an empty bag of chips on the ground and 4 cans of ginger ale. Her laptop, unbeknownst to her, had risen slightly. She closed her laptop and threw it to the side. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror on the wall.

“Woah.” Georgie gasped.
A little strip of pale white skin was visible at the bottom of her tight black long sleeve. She stood up and inspected her new food baby. From the side, if she pushed the right way it looked like a 4 month baby bump. She rubbed her distended stomach, and looked at herself from various angles. She opened snapchat, pushed out her lips and took a few goofy maternity style pictures. Cradling her stomach from beneath, rolling up her shirt and looking down, staring off into the distance. She added the baby emoji to each one and sent them to Amy, Her boyfriend James, and added it to her story.

James: “Hope it’s not mine ;)”

Georgie laid in bed, playing with her stomach one last time before giving in to sleep.

Next morning, Georgie woke up brushing chip crumbs off of the comforter. She let out a little cute burp, and felt an ache in her stomach. “Ugh, I over did it last night” she hopped out of bed and waddled to the bathroom. She got in the shower, and followed her usual morning routine. She dried herself off and grabbed the north face jacket she planned to wear to her first class of the year. She started pulling the jacket down over her torso and noticed a bit of difficulty, some snagging in places that never happened since she’s owned it. She turned to the side and noticed her stomach was back to around its normal size compared to last night, except a little bit of puff to it in certain areas. She had a little bit of a love handle she never noticed before. She ripped off the jacket, the new chub jiggled for a second. She grabbed the big puffy UNIQLO jacket from the closet and carried on with her day.

Lunch. Georgie met up with a friend from BHS who also got accepted. They went to a local Pho stop just outside campus.
“How’s your dorm?” asked her friend Ruby

“Oh, it’s great. Really great, yeah. Making it into a home now with some decorations my mom and dad gave me.” Smiled Georgie, a sort of cocky sly smile.

“Haha, same.” Replied Ruby while looking at the menu.
“Well, it’s not exactly the same is it? Your parents are, not to intrude or anything, divorced right?” Asked Georgie, a sort of passive aggressive attempt to make Ruby feel less. This was a common tactic of Georgie, using passive aggressive “friendliness” to boost her confidence while lowering that of her peers.

“Yeah, I guess it’s different…Anyway what are you going to get?” Ruby asked, redirecting the conversation.

“I love the Pho here, there are so many great options that I just wanna order everything and eat it all.” Giggled Georgie.

“I think I’m gonna keep it light, it’s never too early to start fighting the Freshman Fifteen am I right?” Ruby joked. Georgie felt her stomach gurgle, a strange warm feeling. She discreetly rubbed her belly, and took a sip of water.

“Oh, gotta be careful saying that one you know? They say that if someone utters the phrase ‘Freshman Fifteen’ they gain 5 pounds! It’s just some old campus joke of course.” Ruby said before taking a sip of her water.
Georgie uncomfortably shifted in her seat.
“Sounds like nonsense to me.” Georgie said while tugging at the bottom of her jacket which was unusually tight.

“Yeah, but who knows. I’m not gonna test it. Summer’s right around the corner and you know how superstitious I am.”
Georgie faked a laugh while hiding her grimace, the sick feeling in her stomach fading away. They ate their food and went their own ways.

The Next Day

It was the end of class, around lunch time. Georgie started walking off campus to the nearest fast food joint. She felt her stomach gurgle and bubble, she assumed it was hunger and began walking faster. She pushed through the doors of the brightly colored restaurant. *ding*

“Order number 12, Laura” droned the unenthusiastic teenager working the counter

College students were bustling through, grabbing their bags of grease and heading back to campus. Georgie got in line waiting to order her food. The grimy teen at the counter leaned into the loudspeaker.

“Attention all students, it is now 6pm. That means it’s time for the deal of the day. Show your student ID and you can take part in the Freshman Fifteen Food Special!”
Georgia felt a jolt in her stomach, a shock that made her automatically clutch her gut. She winced and uncomfortably shuffled forward while covering her stomach with her right arm as the greasy teen yelled next.

“Hello mam, would you like to take part in the Freshman Fifteen food special?” Georgie felt the warmth wash over her again, an audible gurgle sounded through the thick hoodie she was wearing.
“Uh, sorry.” Blushed Georgie.

“Somebody’s hungry…might I interest you in the..” The bored worker picked up a note from the counter and read it out loud “Freshman Fifteen special” the words tumbled out of his mouth like rocks. She winced, instinctively closing one eye as the gurgling in her stomach got louder.

“YES! Whatever, just place the order please” She angrily yelled out to cover the sound of her belly. Georgie placed her ID on the counter.

“Fine…Let’s get you some food to quiet that tummy” he said as if reading it directly off the inside of his eyelids.

“Hey Dan, we need one Freshman Fifteen special over here!” Georgie’s stomach gurgled again, only this time the strange warm feeling seemed to spread. It traveled down her spine and completely engulfed her backside. It felt as if her butt had gone numb from sitting for too long. Her eyes widened in surprise, the wrong day to wear leggings. She wiped sweat from her forehead and spun her backpack around. She heard behind her two guys murmuring. She looked over her shoulder and saw their eyes zoom down and back up to her face before they awkwardly began looking around the room.

“One Freshman Fifteen special coming up.” She felt the warmth intensify like a spark, the gurgling in her stomach not getting any quieter. She quickly unzipped her backpack and pulled out a sweater she brought with her and tied it around her waist to cover up her derriere. Georgie paid for her meal and stepped to the side, leaning against the wall and holding her backpack over her stomach to hide any noticeable changes. She walked to an empty seat, and pulled out her phone.

To: Amy “I don’t know what’s going on but I’ve been having…issues with my body all day. I need some advice or something. Reply quick, bitch.“

*ding* “One Freshman Fifteen special for Georgie, one Freshman Fifteen special for Georgie.”
The jolt surged through her body with double the intensity, causing her to throw her head down onto the table and turn her toes towards each other before letting out a high pitched squeak. It was a strangely pleasurable experience, one she couldn’t believe she was having in public. The warmth had completely covered her ass and belly before it moved it’s way to her chest.
Indignantly, she hopped to her feet and sped to the counter grabbing the bag of food and rushing out the door
“Enjoy!” Smiled the toothy server. She threw some French fries in her mouth as she speed walked back to her dorm.

Georgia accidentally finished the whole bag on the walk back, throwing the trash in the garbage can on the way into her dorm. She went into her bedroom to change and pulled off her hoodie in front of the mirror.

“What the fuck?1” She yelped. Her once flat stomach now protruded out a good inch or two or three. It had a bit of an overhang and blended in with her new love handles. The fat evenly distributed throughout her stomach it looked like an early pregnant woman’s belly or even worse…a chubby girl’s body. Her love handles were prominent, her belly button was even more concave. She froze. She started inspecting her new doughy belly. Spinning around in the mirror.

She noticed her rear end had some changes as well. Her thighs were thicker and soft, the seam of her yoga pants was wedged between her rounded cheeks. She bounced from tippy toe to heel a few times and watched it jiggle up and down. She was in shock, no wonder those boys behind her were talking so much. After grabbing her ass with her right hand and her soft belly with her left for a few minutes, she knew she had to change into something more baggy.
She removed her tank top to change her bra. She immediately noticed that her breasts were overflowing the sides of the cups. The B cup bra couldn’t contain the now C-D cup sized boobs. She couldn’t believe her eyes. She was always slim, toned, and healthy but now she had some curves to her body. Her pale belly was barely flat enough to remain unnoticed under clothing, her ass was rounded and prominent, her tits were bigger and perkier. She couldn’t explain what was happening, but if this is the freshman fifteen you can sign her up. Georgia continued through the week, appreciating her new body, and letting other appreciate it as well.

Next Week.
“Are you ready to see your best friend again?!” Screamed Any into the phone.

“You know it bitch, I’ve made some changes in my life which are pretty exciting.” Said Georgie.

“What, you stopped whoring around and stuffing your face?” giggled Amy.

“Shut up” mumbled Georgie, her eyes fixated on her frame in the mirror.

“What time are you getting here?” Asked Georgie

“Tomorrow morning, we should get breakfast, I heard of a good crepe place.” Said Amy

“Sure, talk to you later.” Georgie hung up the phone and tossed it to the side. She pulled her baggy white t-shirt over her head and threw it into the hamper, she unlatched her new D cup bra and threw it as well. The cold air hit her naked breasts, her nipples became erect. She jogged away from the air conditioner, her whole body bouncing as she went. She grabbed herself a clean sports bra and matching panties. She threw on the bra and attempted to put the panties on one leg at time while crossing the room. Her plump cheeks got caught on the elastic band of the once loose panties. She bounced from one foot to the other, trying to force her fatter ass into her underwear. Her now chubby belly jiggling with each bounce. She lazily flopped onto her bed, flipping through the channels. The batteries in the remote died on a random QVC channel.
“Ugh, typical” she groaned. A woman appeared on the screen, a phone number scrolling at the bottom?
“Are you a college student struggling with their weight?!” screamed the cheesy, coked up Hollywood trainer over the corny techno music.

“Not really” she giggled happily, lightly poking her belly with her fingertips.
“Are you struggling with all the great new food? is the Freshman Fifteen hitting you hard?!” Screamed the model. Georgie’s belly involuntarily jiggled, she felt a sudden warmth in her hands as they rose slightly into the air, like holding a slowly expanding beach ball. It was the first time she witnessed the growth with her own eyes. She felt a pleasurable tingling experience travel from her stomach up her spine to the top of her head and back down to her lower half. She moaned quietly and uncontrollably, slightly arching her back.

“Woah..” she moaned, out of breath. Her heart started racing, adrenaline and endorphins running through her body.
“That wasn’t..the commercial was it?” she thought to herself. Georgie picked up the remote, and tapped the 10 seconds back button. “–Great food? Is the Freshman Fifteen hitting you hard?!” Yelled the trainer once again. Georgie felt the warmth, the growth, and the tingling once more this time only more intense, and more pleasurable. It raced up her spine, and back down focusing around her crotch. She uncontrollably curled her toes and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. She heard the elastic in her sports bra stretch as her body continued to grow. The pleasure was immense, she moaned once more uncontrollably the air forced from her lungs. She arched her back and caught her breath. She watched her belly rise and grow pudgier and pudgier. At least 3 inches added to her waist line right before her eyes. Her breasts were jiggling from side to side within the constraints of her bra as her erect nipples pushed into the fabric. Her thighs had grown thicker. The end cuffs of her underwear were constricting her legs as they grew fatter. Her ass had grown softer and fatter too, lifting her into the air oh so slightly.
“This is insane. This is–..I can’t..I’m too..f-f” she paused, her mouth shivered as a short wave of euphoria rushed over her. She grabbed the remote in her right hand, she slowly ran her fingers directly down her chest, tickling her stomach and lightly teasing the top of her panties contemplating whether it’s worth it or not. She tapped the button once more.
“Is the Freshman Fifteen hitting you hard?!” The feeling was instant and powerful. She yelled out in ecstasy
“OH GOD YES!!” She put her hand down the front of her panties. The warmth ran through her body, tingles all over, with an instant head rush. She was breathing in and out rapidly, intertwined with intense moans. She pleasured herself, she felt herself grow which only made her more horny, the feeling more intense. The expansion wasn’t her main focus, she lost track of what was happening to her because the feeling was too great. She pressed the button again.
“Freshman Fifteen hitting you hard?!” She screamed out in pleasure, quickening her pace. Her legs curled into the air, turning her toes towards each other. Pressure all throughout her body, building, warmth and tingling getting more intense. Louder, faster, bigger. she yelled out once more.
And silence..instant release of all tension..her muscles relaxed and she leaned back dropping the remote. The euphoria cleared and Georgie opened her eyes.

“Oh shit!” Yelled Georgie “I’m huge!” Her belly had rounded out to the point that it was sticking up even while she was laying down. She had folds on her left and right side. Her love handles were more prominent, she caressed her big belly in shock. She was too caught up in the moment. Her boobs had overflowed the bra she was wearing, nearly tearing the straps. She was approaching a perky E cup. She rolled onto her side and looked into the mirror. Her fat ass had torn a hole directly up the seam of her panties exposing her cheeks. She had thunder thighs. A real college age PAWG with a bit more chub. As she stood up she wobbled forward, not used to feeling so heavy. She felt like she weighed a million pounds.

“I have to avoid that goddamn phrase. I’ve gotta stop this from happening. I’m too huge! I’m practically a fat cow!” She cried as she fell to her knees, her whole body jiggling with a thump. She stood up and grabbed her laptop. She had to order a new wardrobe by the time Amy got here, and she couldn’t leave the house looking the way she did. She felt her thighs rub together for the first time in her life. She felt her body bounce and jiggle in new places with each step.

”What am I gonna do? Or say? It’s been one week and I’m already an over inflated blimp..” A tear streamed down her face. Georgie looked across the room to the wall mounted mirror, her hands on her hips.

“I can’t hide this. What do I say, ‘Oh, btw the double F word makes me blow up like a balloon so don’t say it. Wanna go to Bath and Bodyworks?’ It’s hopeless” she pondered while staring at the Amazon homepage.

‘25% off Maternity Wear’ flashed across her screen.

“18 and ordering pregnancy clothes…how embarrassing.”

Next Morning
Georgie was up and dressed an hour early for Amy. She was trying on her new stretchy and loose dress, perfect for hiding any baby bumps..or mounds..or hills..or mountains.
“If she questions my figure..i’ll just throw on some tears and act offended and self conscious. Yeah, it will work. I can do this.” She repeated to herself

“Georgieee!!!” The screech echoed through the parking lot.

“Hey!!” Yelled back Georgie from the curb as Amy did her best to jog to her in high heels.
“Yay!” She squealed as she went in for the hug. Georgie quickly held out her arms and held Amy back by the shoulders. She couldn’t let her feel too much of her. Panicked, she leaned in and did an air kiss awkwardly on each side of her. Complete silence.

“Wow, 7 days at an Ivy League and you’re already pulling that pompous shit” Amy laughed.

“Sorry, there’s a sickness going around campus. Can never be too careful.” Apologized Georgie. She wrapped her arm around Amy’s shoulder and they walked side by side back to the dorm.

“Wow, your arm feels really soft. It used to stab me with your pointy, boney elbows.” Said Amy.

“Wow, how about you make me feel even better about my arms. Really thanks for those awesome comments. How about we talk about my split ends?” Said Georgie faux-offended.

“What are you so worried about you skinny little thing? You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with bingo wings. Well, not yet I guess because we don’t know how Freshman Fifteen will treat you eh?” Georgie stood still, placing her hands on her waist and wincing trying to catch her breathe. An audible gurgle could be heard from her stomach. She felt the same feeling as before only a bit more rapid. Amy didn’t notice and kept walking ahead while talking.

“I know so far that Freshman Fifteen has been hitting my appetite pretty hard. I would never put chocolate on French fries if it weren’t for the magical powers of the Freshman Fifteen.” She rambled. The waves of pleasure hit Georgie once more, stumbling backward as the growth started. She kneeled down to the ground on her tippy toes, her hand holding her in place. “Georgie? Oh my gosh are you okay?!” She said as she ran over, dropping her purse on the ground. She grabbed her and helped her to her feet.

“Do you need to go to the hospital? Is it your stomach again?” Amy rambled in fear.
“I’ll call 911” she said

“No n-n-no…I’m f-fine.” Her voice quivered as she tried to fight off the pleasure in front of her best friend.

“Just, take me back to my dorm, you can go back to your hotel I just need to be alone for a while.” Georgie finally got out as she begins walking.

“What? What?! Are you crazy? I’m staying with you..Let’s go.” They quickly rushed to the dorm, Georgie hiding the sound of her growing belly and body with overly dramatic moans. They entered the dorm room.

“Ok, you lay down. I’ll get some soda from the fridge.” Amy started rifling through the kitchen looking for anything to help.
“I need to change first!” yelled Georgie. She ran to her room and took off the maternity dress. Her stomach had grown bigger, her breasts were testing the limits of her bra. She ran across the living room to grab her big baggy t-shirt while Amy had her back turned in the kitchen. Georgie grabbed the shirt and tried to kick off her shoes, stumbling over her own feet. She fell backwards onto the couch, sitting on the remote.

*click*

A sporty-dressed model appeared on the screen. “–Great food? Is the Freshman Fifteen hitting you hard?” Pleasure rushed over her entire body, she threw her head back and moaned loudly. Amy turned her head to see her best friend nearly naked, twice the size of when she last saw her, on the bed moaning to a Michelle Phipher infomercial.

“What the fuck?!” Yelled Amy as she walked over. Georgie gasped to catch her breath and leaned back onto the couch, watching her body expand. A hissing and gurgling sound could be heard as her stomach rose and widened out, her panties riding up and tightening as her thighs fattened , and her tits were bouncing as they rose and pushed against the bra, her nipples visible through the fabric.

“What..in..the..shit?!” Screamed Amy.

“I didn’t want you seeing me like this.” cried Georgie, her face bright red from embarrassment, she threw her hands over her face and began to quietly sob.

“I didn’t think you’d take me seriously about ballooning up from fresh-”

“STOP! Don’t say that! Now or ever.” Said Georgie looking up at Amy shamefully.

“What?” She asked.

“Because..its, and don’t ask me how or why, but it’s like the trigger word. Every since last week when you said it on the phone I felt weird, then the more people said it the more serious the growth was. And now I’m huge and fat and ugly and hideous an–.” Georgie was cut off by Amy

“Stop that right now georgie!” She yelled as she sat down next to her on the couch slowly. Amy’s eyes scanned up and down her chubby round body. Georgie looked back at her uncomfortably.

“A-Amy? What are you doing?”

“Sorry, I was distracted. So you’re telling me that ‘that’ term whether said by you or someone else causes you to magically gain a few pounds and cum?” Asked Amy.

“It’s like 5 pounds each time now, and I don’t like..finish instantly it’s a build up.” She said indignantly as she blushed.

“….Does it feel good?” Amy asked eagerly

“What?” Georgie was shocked, sitting further up on the couch, her body jiggling.

“Like, is it better than sex?” Amy asked, scooting closer to Georgie

“I mean, it feels..pretty good, no..I mean it feels amazing.. There’s something about just letting yourself grow that’s..WAIT, this is weird, god, why would I tell you this stuff!” Georgie stood up from the couch throwing her hands back up to cover her face, bouncing for half a second.
Amy noticed and stared at Georgie’s fat ass bounce from side to side as she slowly walked away from the couch She bit her lip, mesmerized. Georgie turned back to Amy.

“What am I supposed to do?!” She groaned

“I’m not gonna lie G, you filled out nicely..maybe a bit too full for your liking but not for me… Spin around.” Georgie stared at Amy confused.

“What? No..what do you mean?” She asked timidly

“You know what I mean, spin around real quick.” Amy said sternly, biting her bottom lip

She slowly spun around, and before she knew it Amy slapped Georgie on the ass, watching it bounce up and down.

“Hey!” Georgie covered her backside while stepping away from Amy.

“Oh sweet jesus..” She moaned. Georgie walked to her bedroom closet looking for something to wear.

“It’s bad enough I look like this but now you’re going full on lesbian, it’s too much. I need to put some clothes on it’s too cold!” She yelled from the closet
Amy jogged after her, kicking off her heels. Georgie was facing the clothes on the rack, rummaging through them. Amy stood there, getting a nice long look at her expanded best friend.
Amy placed her hands on Georgie’s hips and slowly backed her out away from the clothes and spun her around. “So..every time someone says–” Amy paused as she pushed Georgie against the wall tracing her belly playfully with one finger. Georgie stood there frozen, catching her breath, looking directly into Amy’s green eyes.
“Freshman Fifteen..” She said slowly and seductively. Georgie shuddered, closing her legs together and falling forward into Amy’s arms. “W-w-what are y-you doing?” Amy held Georgie’s hand lightly and lead her back to the bed. Georgie stood there in front of the bed half naked, looking up to Amy who was a good taller than her. Amy watched from a bird’s eye view as Georgie’s belly rumbled and began to expand. Her boobs weren’t far behind, pushing out over the top of the bra, the creaking of elastic was very audible. Amy held Georgie close, leading her hands down her back until she had her hands on her ass feeling it press out against her palms. Amy leaned in close for a sensual kiss, Georgie was stunned and closed her eyes feeling her best friend’s soft lips against hers.
Suddenly, Amy pushed Georgie back onto the bed. Amy pulled the hair tie out of her ponytail, letting her amber hair fall down against her shoulders. She leaned in resting one knee onto the edge of the bed while she unbuttoned the top few buttons of her shirt.

“God, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this..the day you started dating James I’ve never been more disappointed.” She crawled over top of Georgie, slowly forcing her fingers to interlock with hers as she climbed on top. She straddled atop of georgie’s belly, feeling the tension and growth beneath her push against her clit. Amy moaned quietly, taking in a deep breath. Georgie locked eyes with Amy as she leaned in closer to her. Georgie had never been with a girl before, but college is the time of experimentation. And Amy certainly knew her way around the female form. “So this happens..every time I say..Freshman Fifteen?” Amy asked teasingly. “Unghh!!” Georgie yelled out, she bit her bottom lip to stop the moan as she closed her eyes. “Is that true?” Asked Amy a few inches from Georgie’s face, tracing her finger down her neck and over her cleavage. Georgie nodded her head as she opened her eyes.

*Snap*

“Oh?” Amy turned around, looking at the remains of Georgie’s panties laying on the bed.

“You’re getting too big for your own clothes now aren’t you?” Teased Amy. She took her left hand and slide it beneath the torn underwear. Georgie shivered, curling her toes, the feeling was intense. Amy’s warm fingers briefly grazed Georgie’s pussy as she ripped away the remains of the underwear and tossed it off the bed. Her knuckles were white from gripping the bed so hard. Amy turned around on her knees, focusing on Georgie’s pussy. She started to finger her, she moaned out in response. “I’ll be sure to never say..Freshman Fifteen again.”
Georgie shook, the sound of fabric stretching as her bra strained to contain her huge tits. Her belly rose again. Amy felt Georgie’s thighs grow closer together, her pussy lips getting puffier and more sensitive. The pleasure looking for every corner of her body to fill, she kicked her legs and bent her knees. Squirming all over the bed. Her breathing quickened, her moaning slowly got louder and louder, she was getting close. Amy sped up her pace, moving in a circular motion. “oh..Oh…OH” moaned Georgie. “This is the start of a wonderful Freshman Fifteen” whispered Amy.

“But..” Amy whispered as she took her hands off of Georgie. “We aren’t done yet.”
The gurgling of Georgie’s stomach grew louder, her body was entirely warm, her belly began to rise again like an inflating balloon. Amy turned around, placing one leg on each side of georgie as if she was riding a horse. Amy looked down at Georgie with intensity. She began to grind back and forth a top of her. Amy moaned quietly in pleasure. She placed her hands on Georgie’s growing tits, giving them a gentle squeeze while she continued to rock back and forth.The motion made georgie more and more horny, she curled her toes and put her knees together. Amy’s moaning grew louder and louder.

“You’re so beautiful!” Amy screamed while grinding back and forth, feeling herself rise into the air, the warmth of georgie’s belly was incredible. Amy was close, she began to speed up. She leaned her left hand back and found georgie’s pussy with her fingertips once more. She spread her pussy lips and began fingering her. Georgie screamed out in pleasure.

“Together, okay?” Amy said out of breath. Georgie nodded her head, her eyes filled with tears and her cheeks red, she let out a high pitched moan. Amy sped up, grinding back and forth, speeding up the movement of her fingers. Faster and faster. Pressure was building. The elastic of georgie’s clothing was snapping. They quivered, moaning louder and louder. Until they reached climax. Georgie quivered and shook, moaning out and convulsing from pleasure her muscles relaxing. Amy on top hung her head down low, her hair covering her face as she slowly and erratically continued to hump on top of Georgie while her shoulders quivered with pleasure. She let out one last moan before slumping over and falling on top of Georgie. They both caught their breath, and Amy crawled up closer to Georgie and kissed her passionately on the lips.

“That was fun” said Amy as she ran her hand over Georgie’s body and tickled her.

“You’re really pale you know that, you gotta embrace this new body and take it out for the world to see.” Joked Amy.

“I’m gonna get my revenge for this one Amy” Georgie said as she turned on her side to make eye contact with Amy. “We’re gonna have to do something about your frame next. I may not have magical powers or any curses..but I’m gonna make you grow with love and good food. We’ll be the biggest couple on an Ivy League campus.” She nuzzled her head beneath Amy’s chin. “Sure thing..we’ll be the spokesman for the..Freshman Fifteen”

“STOP!!”

“Hehe”


The End

– Inflation Patron
A Far Away Infinity

I just want to say a million thank yous to all the support this story got. All the notes and kind comments really blew me away. I am so sorry to keep you waiting so long, but life has been tricky. My writing may be a little rusty, forgive me. I really hope you enjoy this last part. It has been so much fun to write. Again, thank you for all your love and support over these last few months. It means the world!

Epilogue // Some infinities are bigger than others //

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Keep reading

so tonight my parents dragged me to this party of a family friend and I was wearing my my immortal t-shirt (hi, my name is ebony…yes we all know how it goes) and this random 50 ish year old lady I’ve never met asks me “what an interesting shirt…what does it mean?” 

and i stare at her for five panicked, awkward seconds and then I say “thanks, it’s from a book.”

and then (obviously having read my shirt) gives me a pitiful smile and asks “what book?” 

my smile is forced as I say “It’s called my immortal.” 

she nods and says “what’s it about?” 

“…………………………………………………….time travel.” 

“oh, I’ll have to check it out some time” 

I manage to laugh nervously and against my better judgement, I say “okay I hope you like it.”

So, I used to work in a college dining hall, specifically the Kosher Kitchen, where kosher food was made and served for the college’s kosher-keeping Jewish population (which, after my student supervisor graduated my freshman year, consisted of literally just me).

Anyways, in my third year, the Powers That Be decided that each section of the dining hall needed customer reviews. So they distributed little review forms to each kitchen and told us to put them out next to the displays or wherever and tell students to fill them out. Since we didn’t really have the space right up front, we wound up sticking ours a little to the side, on an end-table-looking thing. 

We pretty consistently got 8s and 9s and 10s on the 1-10 rating scale, and nice compliments in the comments section. Our chef was really good at his job (the cornish hens were amazing), and I am a friendly and memorable person (seriously, people who have met me once will recognize me a year later). 

My favorite review was the one that gave us like a 3 or a 5, I don’t remember. It must’ve been while I was taking a bathroom break and my supervisor took over (because we were horrifically short-staffed and my coworker was in the middle of something else that she couldn’t stop doing). The comment section read: “Food was good, but I don’t like the angry little man with the beard.” or something to that effect.

My coworker and I swore to never tell our supervisor, because he is indeed A) short, B) has a beard, and C) horribly anxiety-ridden and terrified of screwing up or making a bad impression. We hid it at the bottom of the stack and made sure he never found it. It was still funny.

Also, that same coworker and I were frequently described as “dinner and a show” because we would get into these theatrical debates and discussions with each other and the guests. One time we sent three people into a fit of giggles because of a two-week-old argument over whether the new disposable gloves were purple or blue. A bunch of our regulars wound up taking sides. We ended up compromising and calling it indigo.

Also, another funny story: On Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, one of the traditional foods is fish heads (“Rosh” means “head”; it’s basically a pun). Anyways, nobody I know actually eats them, but my supervisor insisted on putting out a pair of them on the cold table every year. One day, while my coworker and I were at the front after just finishing with the dinner rush, our supervisor greets us from behind using muppet voices. We turn around and he’s got the fish heads on his hands like sock puppets. I laughed so hard I lost my balance and knocked into the steam table. My coworker gagged and fled, because it turns out she hates the smell of fish. Whoops.

My supervisor also really liked Allen Sherman, a Jewish parody singer from the 50’s. This is pretty obscure, obviously, so he was delighted to discover I had been raised on Allen Sherman. We used to sing the songs together during close and cleanup. We rarely made it to the end of a song without interrupting each other to argue over the lyrics or to discuss a reference. It was a lot of fun.

anonymous asked:

your headcanons are so good!! Have any others for Ed? :)

uh hell fucking yeah i do

  • he stays pretty strong throughout his life, so there are like 50 photos of him holding his kids at various points in their lives. On his shoulders, under his arms – he doesn’t care if his son is like 16, he’s getting picked the fuck UP for his birthday photo
  • Ed sends very fascinating letters while travelling in the East. He finally decides to start writing more often (making up for all the years he was AWOL, probably,) and he includes tidbits of information and places he’d like to revisit. 
  • On that note, there’s a candid photo of him laughing that he sends to Winry in a stack of assorted pictures, and she carries it around in her coverall pocket. Ed forgets about it, but he finds it about a year after he gets back and pretends he’s not touched. 
  • (She really likes having photos of him smiling.) 
  • Ed is perpetually warm. A good quality, since both Winry and Alphonse get cold easily. He warms their hands between his own on cold days. 
  • He’s touch-starved as hell, and after the Promised Day he realizes he fucking LOVES being hugged and giving hugs. 

The Teachers AU

so this is an Au developed by the Nutmobile chat and I would love if they’d add onto this post

-Dolokhov is a math teacher who’s super depressing and funny and people either love him or hate him as a teacher and he’s also super fuckin passive aggressive in his lessons like “so if Pie- Peter, if PETER took up 4/13 of the break room fridge with his technically illegal alcohol…”

-Helene is the PE teacher and she’s savage AF and RIPPED and every student who’s attracted to women has had a crush on her at some point

-Marya is the librarian who’s “secretly” dating Helene (even though everyone knows that they’re together) and she runs a D&D campaign and loves nerdy stuff and will SCREAM at you if you rip a book

-Natasha teaches Art and she’s the Chill Teacher who lets kids listen to music and has really very few rules but people respect her. there’s tons of speculations about her love life tho like: “ooh Ms. Rostova looked at Mr. Bolkonsky in the break room today!” “Which Rostova?” “The art teacher!” “ooh, Ms. R accidentally touched Pierre’s hand today, they’re totally in love!” “I saw that Ms. Rostova got a text from Andrei! They’re getting “coffee” after school ;)“
and at the end of the year someone asks her "all right, Natasha, I’m probably never going to see you again- are you dating Andrei, or Pierre?” and she just raises her hand which has 2 rings on it and says “yeah”
and then she goes "and who said you could call me Natasha”

-Mary is the English teacher and every year without fail she introduces herself as “my name is Mary, but call me Ishmael” and if someone laughs at the joke That’s Her New Fav Student and plus she has a unit every year where she teaches the kids about Sappho and Emily Dickinson and Jane Austen and Leo Tolstoy and Lord Byron and how literature is super gay yall and she pushes for it to become an elective
She also has a Strange Obsession with Arabian Nights and Edgar Allen Poe’s short stories and can quote some of them from memory (wink wonk I wonder which ones)
she also has 50 shades of grey in her classroom and whenever someone notices she blushes like a tomateo

-Sonya teaches music and she and Mary are married and always going into each other’s classrooms during their free periods to flirt with each other and also there are rumors that Sonya has a treble clef tattooed on her ankle and she does but she only shows it to the members of Honors Band
Mary loves Moby Dick more than a reasonable person should and Sonya teases her about this
And one time for April Fools Mary just hides in the music closet and whenever Sonya gets the band to finally stop talking and start playing she SCREAMS and everyone keeps stopping and looking around and going “WHO THE FUCK IS THAT”


-Balaga is the bus driver but also sometimes subs for classes. Everyone loves him and he’s occasionally high in class.

-Anatole teaches Home Ec and Health and Theater and random humanities and everyone makes fun of his fashion sense and wonders about him and Natasha and he has an Anonymous Question Box in health but he has to stop using it because every single one of the questions is either “do you have a foot fetish” (he will, of course, SCREAM at the class because that is NOT APPROPRIATE FOR SCHOOL), “are u crushing on Ms. Rostova (the straight one)”, or “what is a vulva”

-Pierre is the sad history teacher and he has all these weird conspiracy theories and he tries his best not to let them bleed into his teaching but he fails especially when they learn about Napoleon

-one time pierre was talking about Napoleon and writing on the blackboard and he just fuckin crushed the chalk in his hand

-Pierre throws stuff at stuff all the time like desks and chairs when someone can’t open their locker he’ll go “Helene get the plank”

@quicksilver-ace @andisthatnatasha @anatol-kuragiin @whzzrbrwn @caven—malore @killingmars @melchirits please yall tag anyone I left out

Tomb Raider star Alicia Vikander teases her version of Lara Croft

The Oscar-winner also talks about the ‘mixture of joy and sadness’ that she experienced while watching ‘Wonder Woman‘

Lara Croft is finding her roots.

Next year’s Tomb Raider reboot, adapted from the 2013 video game, portrays Croft (Alicia Vikander) as a young woman working an ordinary day job in London. A clue leads her to embark on a search for her presumed-dead archeologist father (Dominic West).

“She has all the fierce, tough, curious, intelligent traits,” Vikander says, “but we’ve stripped away all of her experience. She hasn’t gone on an adventure just yet. She thought he was a stuck up businessperson living in the modern youth culture of suburban London, but then this whole box of information. This is the beginning.”

For the 28-year-old actress, starting from the beginning was a major pull for doing the film. “I was surprised that my mum knew what Tomb Raider was. That’s due to the fact that Angelina Jolie made Lara Croft such an icon. But this is a beautiful way of showing a very loved character from more angles.”

Jolie, interestingly, starred in the first Tomb Raider movie in 2001, two years after winning the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Girl, Interrupted, a timeline that Vikander is echoing. (The Swedish actress won Best Supporting Actress in 2016 for The Danish Girl.) “I’m emotionally drawn to something that’s very different from what I’ve done before,” she says. “Naturally that gives me an extra thrill. I have mostly done dramas and indie films in my career but I don’t know how many times I’ve watched big adventure films like Indiana Jones or The Mummy. I love to get embraced in all those big journeys and to do an action role has always been a child’s dream of mine.”

And Vikander’s background as a dancer prepared her for all the challenges that director Roar Uthaug (2015’s intense disaster movie The Wave) tossed her way.“

Just like in The Wave, we have a lot of water sequences,” she says. “I spent my last two days of shooting in a tank and that was my 16th total day being fully drenched or submerged in the water.”

So come March 16, 2018, we’ll get to watch Croft — and Vikander — basically sink or swim. “For one action scene, we used the London venue for Olympic rafting,” she says with a bemused laugh. “They threw me down that river — with my hands tied — about 50 times. I didn’t need to act, just react!”

Vikander, also, feels fortified by the success of a recent female action hero onscreen. “I went to the cinema and saw Wonder Woman the other day. It’s a mixture of joy and sadness pouring over me, as I was thinking, ‘Oh, my God, I haven’t seen women onscreen like that.’ And I wondered how many stories there have there been throughout the years that haven’t been told. If Wonder Womanmade such an impact, which it deserves to, then we need to use ten times as much force to make some change. Because it needs to happen.”

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

http://ew.com/movies/2017/07/13/tomb-raider-alicia-vikander-lara-croft/

Both of them were sitting on that bench in the garden.
She said with her half broken teeth, “So, it’s been 50 years to our marriage and we’re still together. Looks like my beauty still enthralls you even today.”
He with his set of half broken teeth replied, “Well, yeah it’s your inner beauty which always enthralled me. Even 50 years back I only married you for that. I knew your inner beauty could hold me for all my life. Physically you look like a piece of old furniture so don’t let that get to your head”, and he laughed out loud.
She joined him and both kept giggling and wished each other on their anniversary.
Anyone looking from far would mistake them for a couple that had just fallen in love.
They looked just so complete together like they didn’t need anybody else to add anything to their lives.
— 

They got old, but their love was still as if new. 

anonymous asked:

How would Oda Forces + Uesugi-Takeda Forces + Kennyo react to MC's modern clothing?

Oooh, I love this! You’re my first IkéSen imagine request, lovely, so thank you very much! Sorry for the delay!

In this, imagine the MC (you) is wearing her modern-day clothes from the day she arrived in the Sengoku era again, just to be nostalgic, because she misses her old stuff a bit, or wants to for… alternative reasons ;)

So, that means she’s wearing these clothes, meaning a white shirt and jumper, and then a beige jacket and skirt. It’s mentioned that they got a bit ruined with the near-death experience and all, but considering her skills in fashion, she’s been able to fix them up and clean them up so they’re basically like new.

I hope this is what you meant, sweetie! Let me know if it isn’t and I’ll redo it for you ;)

It’s sort of a bit… heavy in places, but this is the way I took it, so hey ho. Just tell me if you want a less sexy set of responses!

Oh my God I forgot Ieyasu someone execute me ;-; he’s done now… *cries for my baby*


Also I’m really sorry if you meant different clothing like jeans or something; when I read “the MC’s modern clothing” I thought you meant just the ones from the prologue ;-; I’m so, so so sorry oh my God I suuuuuck >.<


Oda Forces (In which you maintain a permanent residence with these warlords!)

Hideyoshi

  • Confusion is the only way to describe his reaction
  • When he sees you in the hallway in the morning, he immediately starts blushing just because he can see your legs and he’s not used to it
  • But it’s not a bad thing, not at all
  • But wait
  • Other people can see them too
  • You’re waiting for a respond from him while he processes these thoughts, but eventually see that he’s frazzling himself by the second and laugh out, “Morning, Hideyoshi. I thought I’d wear my modern clothes for the day. Remember them?”
  • He doesn’t speak a word, and you actually really start to doubt yourself and become self-conscious
  • This only worsens when he grabs your hand, tugging you back toward your room at break-neck pace
  • But he’s so warm and you start to click on to what’s happening
  • Once you’re both in your room, he clears his throat, eyes dancing back and forth between you and the wall. “Uh- sorry about that. I remember them.”
  • This does not give you any sort of confidence, at all
  • “Oh-”
  • He’s kissing you before you can speak, so deep you stumble back and have to grip onto him for balance
  • “I’m sorry, because the thought of anyone else seeing you like this eats away at me I really don’t like the thought of them seeing you, but that’s selfish of me-”
  • You kiss him this time, and he almost dies with relief that you’re not angry
  • “Then, I’ll only wear them for you. Make sure you can come see me tonight; I’ll be waiting for you in them.”
  • He almost collapses, bless his poor soul
  • But he also takes a bit more time to… appreciate the new attire while he’s in your room ;)
  • Basically, he’s late for his report meeting with Nobunaga, but he honestly could not care less~
  • Who am I kidding he nearly cries and begs for forgiveness while low-key trying to neaten up his dishevelled hair and askew collar
  • You have to stifle a laugh on your way past Nobunaga’s room, listening to him pour out like 50 different apologies
  • Nobunaga smirks at you since the door’s open tho
  • You avoid him for the rest of the week month year day

Ieyasu

  • You go to do some work with him in the afternoon and he’s so absorbed in his writing that he doesn’t even notice you
  • But then he sees your leg when you sit next to him
  • Instant blush, instant wtf, instant oh my God-
  • “Are those the clothes you were wearing on your first night here?”
  • You internally gush because he remembers
  • “Yes! I wanted to wear them again for the day, so I decided to put them on, since I managed to fix them.”
  • He’s silent
  • And he just stays silent
  • For like three minutes straight
  • On the inside, he’s dying
  • Your leg is right there. Your chest is so easy to see. Your skin is so smooth and he just wants to touch it-
  • Bad Ieyasu! That would show your emotions!
  • He has to clear his throat before he can speak because he’s low-key dying
  • “What’s the point in wearing them?”
  • Ouch
  • Well done, numpty
  • You see through his words and blush though and know he’s actually not annoyed or anything, so you just shuffle a bit closer, chirping, “Because it’s nice to have some time remembering my old life, even though I love my new one. It’s what made me who I am, so it’s important to keep it close to me.”
  • “… right.”
  • He’S lOsInG hIs ShIt HeLp YoU’rE sO SwEeT aNd PuRe AnD iT RuInS hIm
  • You’re both quiet for a moment, until you finally sigh, guessing he’s not that bothered by it
  • “So, what can I help with?”
  • Ieyasu used surprise kiss!
  • It was very effective
  • … and it was also followed by Ieyasu feeling you up and making out with you for the next hour
  • And he only stopped because Nobunaga dropped by, too

Masamune

  • He sidles up to your door in the morning, wanting to see you before he gets to work, and nudges the door open to pop his head in. “Good morning, kitte-”
  • He can’t finish his sentence
  • The first - and only - thing he sees are your bare legs, and the skirt fitting wondrously over your rear, as you fix your clothes up
  • You turn around, blinking in surprise, but then you’re beaming at him, greeting, “Morning, Masamune! I decided to wear my old clothes today. What do you think?”
  • There are very few things in this world that can leave Masamune Date speechless
  • This is one of them
  • His throat works so hard while he tries to speak, but it just doesn’t work because he’s genuinely that taken aback
  • But then all of a sudden the One-Eyed Tiger swings back into action, and he all but bounds over to you
  • Expect to be kissed very hard, very deep, and with lots of teeth and tongue ;)
  • He takes advantage of the different clothes, running his hands over your thighs, then your waist and behind just a little
  • You end up panting by the time he pulls back, growling huskily, “You’re a cruel kitten.”
  • You can barely think, let alone respond. “W-What?”
  • He just grins ferally, breathing heatedly into your ear, “You’re going to drive every man in this castle insane, working and looking like that. I’ll have to keep you with me for the day, so none of them see anything they shouldn’t.”
  • Cue your already fierce blush exploding even brighter
  • He doesn’t let you out of his sight all day
  • But you don’t mind at all tho

Mitsuhide

  • He ends up running into you in the corridor of the castle in the middle of the day, and as soon as he sees your clothes, he actually pauses with surprise
  • Wow
  • Like, wow
  • He would never admit it, but he thought you were beautiful the first time he saw you in your clothes, and now he’s seeing them again, fixed and you being his, it’s sort of nearly winds him
  • “Mitsuhide? Are you okay?”
  • He comes back so suddenly, the first thing that comes out of his mouth is, “My, my. I wasn’t expecting you to change your name, ___.”
  • You don’t get it
  • But then he leans down and hooks an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him and whispering in your ear, “I believe I should now call you Lady Temptation, seeing as you’re flaunting your beauty even more than normal.”
  • You nearly die, half from his words, and half from the fact that his fingers are trailing up the back of your thigh, ascending higher and higher by the second
  • Ohhh, lord…
  • Good luck keeping a straight face, chatelaine
  • “I wasn’t… ah…”
  • He’s smirking so wide, watching you crumble under his touch
  • I swear to God he is a full-on sadist and no one can convince me otherwise
  • “Hm? You weren’t what, Princess of Azuchi? You weren’t trying to tempt me? Perhaps the others, then?”
  • That earns him a very sudden, but also not very powerful, punch in the chest
  • He ends up chuckling very darkly under his breath
  • “Of course not! I just wanted to wear them again because I felt like it, excuse you!” Cue the indignant huff. “And I… wondered if you’d like seeing them as well…”
  • Mission accomplished, in Mitsuhide’s mind~
  • He gives your thigh a very brief squeeze, teeth nipping at your ear, and you squeak in surprise even though you enjoy the sensations
  • “Well then, it appears that there is no issue. You were correct; you’re beautiful. Congratulations on reading me so accurately.”
  • And then he lets you go, kisses your hand just like he did the first time he met you, before sauntering off down the hallway and leaving you stunned
  • You just can’t win with Mitsuhide

Mitsunari

  • He just gushes and blushes so much it’s unreal
  • There aren’t enough words to describe the ball of absolute delight Mitsunari morphs into when he sees you in the corridor
  • “___! You look wonderful - are those your clothes from your old life?”
  • He’d approach you, beaming and gazing at you with such love and adoration it should be illegal
  • It melts your heart instantly
  • “Yes! I thought I’d wear them again today, for a change.”
  • He supposes you might have days of missing your old life more than others, and that this might lessen the effects of that a bit, so he doesn’t object
  • Instead, he just cups your face very tenderly, popping a kiss against your forehead
  • “Well, you’re lovely as always. They suit you very well, and it seems you’ve fixed them. You’re so self-sufficient and dependable, ___.”
  • He’s actually sort of worried on the inside despite his words though
  • So he ends up hugging you really gently, murmuring, “But please, do be careful while you’re wearing them. People of this people are… not accustomed to seeing such dress, and I fear that they may treat you wrongly for it.”
  • You literally throw your arms around his neck and hug him back so hard he nearly chokes
  • “Thank you, Mitsunari. I’ll be careful, I promise.”
  • You kiss his cheek and head off to finish the job that needs to be done, and he stares after you for a moment, entranced by every single part of you
  • He could just stare at you forever and it wouldn’t be enough
  • He ends up holding his cheek for pretty much the rest of the day and doesn’t lose his smile once

Nobunaga

  • Brace yourself because this one does not have the self-control necessary to respond to this in an appropriate way
  • He’d gotten up and gone to work earlier than you, and has been busy all day, so he hasn’t seen you around at all through the day
  • Now he’s called a council to discuss something briefly
  • And then you walk in, legs bare for all the world to see, in your modern day clothes, with Masamune and Mitsuhide very, very close to you
  • Nobunaga almost breaks his own arm from gripping it that hard
  • He’s seen you in these clothes before, but now that they’re fixed, they look even more amazing, and more appetising even than the European dress he saw in Portugal
  • Mineminemineminemineminemineminemi-
  • He can barely think when you sit down with the two warlords, and loses it when Mitsuhide rests his hand on your knee, snapping, “Mitsuhide, Masamune, what do you think you’re doing?”
  • The snake just smiles pleasantly, answering, “My Lord, what do you mean? I was simply complimenting the Lady Chatelaine on her unusual appearance. It seems her ‘boyfriend’ has yet to comment on it, so I took it upon myself to do so, to raise her spirits until he can do so.”
  • GET READY TO DIE, MITSUHI-
  • Cue Masamune’s snort
  • “Besides, I’m sure at least half of her reasoning for dressing like this is to impress you. Am I right, kitten?”
  • Nobunaga.Warlord has stopped responding
  • You bury your face in your knees, blushing profusely
  • But then Nobunaga almost launches himself up, bounding across the room with such speed everyone genuinely tenses up
  • “Ahh! Nobunaga, what are you doing? Put me down!”
  • You’re over his shoulder in a second flat, his arm locked around your thighs to shield it from the others’ eyes and keep you still
  • “This meeting is cancelled. Hideyoshi, punish Masamune and Mitsuhide sufficiently.”
  • Mitsuhide just hisses out another rattled laugh, and Masamune howls with his own laughter, calling, “Are you going to punish her too, Nobunaga?”
  • Masamune spends the night in a cell
  • You spend it under Nobunaga, your clothes very much forgotten, while he reminds you exactly who conquered you and who you belong to ;)

Uesugi-Takeda Forces (In which you maintain a permanent residence with these warlords!)

Kenshin

  • So you’re low-key terrified of doing this but end up thinking, “Fuck it, I’m doing it anyway.”
  • Kenshin’s been really, really, really stressed out lately with battles and strategising so much, so you thought you could wear your old clothes for a day, since you feel like it and guessed it might be nice for Kenshin as well
  • But not during the day, because that’s asking for trouble from Kenshin:
    • Other people would be looking at you even more, and they’d end up with Kenshin’s sword through their necks, and;
    • You’d probably get felt up at some point by Shingen, “accidentally” or not
  • So you throw them on before you go to see him in the evening
  • He’s writing something when you go inside, so you wait patiently and kneel in front where he sits to do his work
  • Eventually he finishes and looks up, expecting the same as usual
  • He literally turns to stone for a few seconds straight
  • You’re red already
  • “What are you wearing?”
  • He can’t process anything else and can’t form anything more complex
  • “These are some of the clothes I wore in the future, and I thought it might be interesting for you to see them, since I didn’t meet you when I was wearing them on my first day here.”
  • Oh, boy. Even with his heterochromia, his eyes practically turn black with lust
  • Prepare yourself, chatelaine!
  • “Come here.”
  • You.Life has stopped responding
  • That voice. He may be human but everything about him is godly and just makes you weak
  • You go over to him and stand in front of him, and he immediately reaches out, arm curling around your thighs
  • His lips are on your leg before you know it, and he breathes out against it, “I’ve never seen such fashion, but I’m not opposed to it. It’s extremely convenient, after all.”
  • One second you’re standing, the next you’re straddling him, and he smiles as innocently as a curious child, even though you know he’s got plans that are much more mature waiting for you
  • “Now I can see almost everything that belongs to me. However…”
  • His teeth sink into your neck, and you know it’s going to be a wonderfully rough night
  • “I’d like to inspect my territory, thoroughly, and reclaim it as my own, until the sun rises.”

Sasuke

  • He’s from the future too, so he’s used to seeing modern clothes, but it’s been four years since he’s been around it for an extensive period of time
  • So naturally, it takes him aback when he sneaks into your room in the evening and you’re in your old clothes
  • You think nothing of it, and beam when he slips inside, chirping, “Hi, Sasuke! I didn’t know you’d be stopping by tonight.”
  • It takes him a couple of heartbeats to come out of his daze
  • It’s something he’s seen so often, but it just stuns him, seeing you in such familiar clothing and a way he’s only seen you dressed like twice
  • He ends up blushing, and his heart actually beats faster at the sight of you
  • “Oh- yes, I… I thought we could spend the evening together, doing whatever you would like to do.”
  • You don’t fail to notice his blush
  • You end up grinning away, clicking on to why he’s so red
  • “Sasuke, are you alright? Is there something wrong?”
  • God, you’re going to be the death of him
  • He just sighs in exasperation, knowing you’ve sussed it out and there’s no point in hiding
  • But then he’s tucking his arms around your waist, and you do the same with his neck, his fingers grazing up and down your much less protected back. “There’s nothing wrong at all. You just… you look wonderful, in your old clothes. I’ve only seen you in them a few times, but you’re stunning.”
  • Now it’s your turn to impersonate a tomato
  • You end up giggling with joy, leaning up to press your forehead to his and nudge your nose against his
  • It’s the most adorable eskimo kiss ever and it makes his heart go yay
  • “Thank you, Sasuke. Maybe we can spend the night in, so you can see me in them a bit more.”
  • He’s lifted you off the ground in a second, wrapping your legs around his waist. Your lips find his instantly, and he kisses you hard, then murmurs in a rare, teasing tone,
  • “As you wish. However, I have a feeling they won’t be staying on for very long, at this rate.”
  • Is Sasuke ever wrong? ;)

Shingen

  • Okay, so you could tie a piece of fabric to your face and Shingen would still say you look beautiful
  • But just
  • Oh my God
  • When you walk into his room to say good morning, he just loses his shit
  • He can see your legs at all times and the skirt accentuates your figure and your shirt very much doesn’t hide your chest and it makes you look so beautiful and just
  • Omgomgomgomgomg wow my sweet angel is so beautiful and gorgeous and breath-taking and at the same time I want to tear the clothes off her but I approve fiercely of this fashion
  • He’s dead, pretty much
  • But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t move or anything; shock is not something Shingen’s capable of
  • He practically runs over to you and scoops you up, twirling you around and watching you giggle
  • He’s just a huge fluffball when it comes to you
  • He can’t help it
  • Meanwhile, you’re ecstatic about his reaction, to say the least
  • “Good morning. I take it you like the modern world’s clothes, then?”
  • He kisses you like you’re the only thing in the world, palming your sides and back, and also your thighs just a bit
  • Then he’s kissing your jaw and neck, uttering in such a sweet voice honestly it’s baffling considering that he’s a warlord, “I love them. They’re absolutely beautiful, and like nothing I’ve ever seen before. People wear things like this often in your time, then?”
  • “Well, a lot of people, men and women, wear trousers as well, but a good amount still wear skirts. Although, it’s usually girls who wear skirts and dresses, but that’s been changing lately.”
  • He’s so fascinated and also in awe despite being vv confused about men in skirts because he’s never seen that before…?
  • Also he’s healthily turned on I mean come on, this is Shingen we’re talking about
  • “Do you have something to do right now?”
  • Uh oh-
  • “No, I don-”
  • Hello, floor~
  • You’re going to be late for your jobs, that’s for sure ;)

Yukimura

  • [Ayyo to those who know “Colors”] EVERYTHING IS RED, HIS SKIN, HIS FACE, HIS CHEEKS~
  • He doesn’t expect to come and get you for a meeting with Kenshin, only to be met with you in your old clothes
  • And his face just erupts with blood
  • Something else does as well but I don’t do NSFW so I’ll just leave it at that ;)))))
  • One does not simply stand in front of Yukimura goddamn Sanada with their legs bare
  • What does he do
  • He can’t think
  • You look so good
  • BUT HE CAN’T JUST SAY THAT BECAUSE HE’S A TSUNDERE AND IT’LL END HIS LIFE
  • And also he can’t move now because if he does he may just tackle ravage take devour touch goddammit
  • You get the idea
  • So, naturally, as always when he’s flustered, his less cool side comes out
  • “What are you wearing? What is that?”
  • You know he’s flustered, or suddenly has a life-threatening fever, so you’re not bothered
  • “They’re my clothes from my old life, from the modern world. I wanted to wear them today for a change since I fixed them up.”
  • You’re so fecking smug as you walk over to him, all calm and innocent
  • “Let’s go. Kenshin won’t appreciate being kept waiti-”
  • With Shingen, it was “Hello, floor~”
  • With Yukimura, it’s, “Greetings, wall~”
  • He nearly throws you against it and kisses you completely weak
  • He’s also feeling you up just a bit because oh my lord the way the way he can touch your legs and sides and feel your chest against his so much easier wOW
  • By the time you get to the meeting, you’re very late
  • Kenshin is pissed
  • But you’re both bright red so he just ends up clicking on and rolling his eyes
  • “Do me a favour and leave your personal affairs until the evenings. It’s sickening.”
  • Shingen collapses from laughing so hard

Others

Kennyo (So is it just me or does anyone else see him as like really lewd, like his actual personality is just the complete opposite of someone supposedly holy and devout? Please tell me I’m not the only one ;-;)

  • You go to see him in the evening when he comes back from meeting with his make-do gang of nutjobs vassals, who were able to get info on Nobunaga
  • So he’s all smug and pleased with himself already
  • And you walking in with those clothes just seals the damn deal
  • Prepare yoself
  • If you thought he was a demon before, you’re going to think he’s Satan now
  • You close the door behind you and he just stops dead, stood in the middle of the room thinking
  • Holy hell
  • YES PLEASE
  • His eyes basically turn jet black and if you thought he was going to react all “You’re beautiful” then you’re dead wrong
  • This man is so permanently stressed out that whenever he has a spare moment he’s almost always just ready to have you
  • “I remember those clothes. They’re the ones you were wearing on your first night here, were they not?”
  • His voice is so deep you could drown in it
  • Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm-
  • “Yes. I felt like wearing them again today since I fixed them up.”
  • He’s crossing the room before you’ve finished, trapping you back against the door and gazing down at you with shameless lust
  • “So, you’ve been wandering around here all day like this?”
  • He’s already touching your thighs and his teeth are on your neck and ohhh yes-
  • “Y-Yes, I have… ah…”
  • “You should be more careful. It seems you have a habit of enticing demons.”
  • Say goodbye to the clothes~
  • “Consider me well and truly enraptured, my lovely little temptress.”
  • hhooooOOOOOO BOI YOU’RE IN FOR A HECK OF A NIGHT

I stand behind the idea that you should wait till you’re late 20s to get married, ladies! The average life expectancy is about 80 years old in this day and age. If you get married at say 30 years old, you still have 50 years of married life to look forward to. 50 years is a long time. Why would you rush into that time early? I understand if you feel like you found the one, but why not just date? Get to know each other so you know that it’s right. I promise you, you don’t have to get married early. Just because society is pushing romantic relationships down your throats does not mean you have to throw away the time when you are truly free to do whatever you want. Go travel while you’re still free to have an adventure on your own. Laugh with friends. Have a life outside of romance. That will be the difference between a happy marriage with no regrets and an early divorce with all the regrets in the world.

fanon vs canon
  • junkrat fanon: i😍😍 love 😳me some DICK give me 😫DICK!!! I AM SO GAY!!
  • junkrat canon: EXPLOSIONS *LAUGHS* EXPLOSIONS
  • lucio fanon: im tall and will hit on ur girl/guy B^)
  • lucio canon: im short as hell and like music B)^
  • roadhog fanon: I HAVE A BIG DICK!!!!
  • roadhog canon: i have like no personality
  • pharah fanon: im muscular
  • pharah canon: im not even muscualr and the next thing to my personality is puns
  • mei fanon: im totally in a relationship with zarya bcuz why not!! im also totally fat, and not skinny at all!!! cause?? skinny girls are SO sexist
  • mei canon: i was frozen for like 50 years and im a scientist! im skinny and i just wear a thicc suit
  • reaper/soldier fanon: i love my husband and my sons!!!
  • reaper/soldier canon: i hate reaper (or soldier) and not in a fucking relationship with him, and genji or mccree arent my damn sons
  • symettryra fanon: futa
  • sym canon: Me, an intellectual