i laughed for 500 years because this is so me

anonymous asked:

Had an SD asking me about our arrangement and I straight up said to him (only because at this point he was starting to piss me off) "5k a month +gifts. I know my worth. 3k is the lowest I'm possibly worth and for sure the lowest I'd fuck some crusty old man for. I'm beautiful, smart, funny, well traveled, and fun. Why on earth should I be free?" He laughed and agreed on 4K plus gifts and sent me 500$ via PayPal so I can pamper before our dinner. :))) years of searching and finally found this 1!

Damn girl I’m shocked that being so blunt payed off that’s wild!!!

You Wish: Alleyways

Okay. If you haven’t yet realized I’m naming each part after songs then now you now. The last two were The Neighborhood and Sum 41. If you can guess who wrote this song I will give you a pat on the back and will put the part out earlier. Anyways, enjoy.

1 2

Other parts in Masterlist

“Look. I know why you’re here.” Calum began, making brief eye contact with them both. “I’ve told Zac already, I want out of this shit.”

The one next to Calum began tutting while the other shook his head. “There’s no way out, my boy.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“What were you meant to do today?” The man next to me asked, completely ignoring what Calum just said.

“Lose the game.” Calum said with a sigh.

My eyes widened and Calum looked at me for a split second before looking back at the other two.

“And why didn’t you?”

Because of me. He didn’t lose the game so he could take me out.

“The team we were playing against were shit.” Calum partly lied.

“Then you should have made your team play even shittier. D’you know how much money we lost on this bet?” The bloke opposite me quizzed Calum but before Calum could answer the other man did.

“500 quid, lad. That was gonna be used for my daughters tenth birthday party. What should I tell her now? ‘Sorry, princess but no birthday party for you because a little prick couldn’t lose a fucking football game’.” The one next to me shouted towards the end.

“You can tell her whatever the fuck you want.” Calum spat.

The two men looked taken aback. They obviously weren’t expecting Calum to retaliate but if I was in his shoes I would have done it a lot sooner.

“We’re taking you outside.” The one next to me hissed.

That only meant one thing and I was not prepared to let that happen. I might be a mouthy bitch but I hate it when people get hurt, especially friends or whatever Calum was to me. It was my fault anyway. Calum felt that bad for hurting me he risked getting a beating for me.

They both stood up from the booth and waited for Calum. He looked at me and gave me a small smile before he sighed and pushed his half empty beer across the table. My mind was racing for things to do to help Calum during this. Just as he rose from the booth seat a lightbulb practically exploded in my head and I began rummaging through my coat pocket for my car keys. I was gonna regret this when I got home.

“Wait!” I almost shouted before they could walk away.

Calum looked at me and shook his head. I gave him a small smile and pulled my keys from my pocket. The two men looked at me then smirked at each other before laughing to themselves. I just hoped this would work.

“You can take my car.” I told them as I held out my car keys.

“Josie.” Calum warned but I ignored him.

“It’s perfectly fine and was only bought two years ago so it’s fairly new.”

One of them laughed. “And why would we want your shitty car?”

“Because it’s worth more than £500 and it’s partly my fault he lost the game.”

“And why’s that?”

“I told him to.” I lied.

Shit I was digging myself a deeper grave here.

“Josie. No.” Calum hissed.

The one who was sat next to Calum in the booth gripped on Calum’s shoulder to shut him up causing him to suck in a breath at the harsh contact. “Now that’s a bit stupid, Calum. Making us angry over a girl. I hope she was worth it.”

“She was.” Calum retorted.

My heart skipped a beat once he said that.

“Let’s go see how that big mouth of yours pays off outside.”

They started leading Calum away and I went to follow but Calum shouted over his shoulder. “Please just stay inside, Josie.”

The one who wasn’t holding Calum stalked back over to me. His fists were clenched and he looked like he was pissed off. Mainly because of me.

“If you can get that car to us fast enough, your boyfriend will be able to walk tomorrow. You got that?”

I didn’t even stand around to give a decent reply, I only nodded. I was too busy rushing out of the pub and as I ran past Calum he grabbed my arm.

“Where are you going?”

“To get the car.” I rushed out before shaking him off.

Running as fast as I could, I began to head back to the football pitch ignoring the remarks from the gang of teens outside. The wind was that cold against my face as I ran, it started to sting. I just knew I couldn’t stop running and all the hockey I do is finally getting me somewhere. I quickly turned back around to see Calum being dragged away from the pub which made me run faster.

A good couple of minutes later I reached the entrance of the field. As I ran across the stones that were laid across the car park, my legs decided to give in and I stumbled forward landing on my hands and knees. Not caring about what just happened I scrambled to my feet and jogged over to my car hoping and praying I ran fast enough.

I definitely would have been arrested for speeding if any police were around but luckily they weren’t. As I parked the car in front of the pub I looked around for Calum but I couldn’t see him. When I quickly left and locked the car I began to once again run. I called Calum’s name as I ran past the pub and down an alley but still Calum wasn’t there.

“Josie. How nice to see you.”

I span around to see Calum and the two idiots next to him. I examined Calum’s face and he didn’t have a mark on him. Something wasn’t right here and the thought of it caused me to shake my head.

“I see you brought the car. Good girl.” One of them noted.

“Yeah.” I said, suspicion in my tone.

“Give us the keys.” The one who no longer had a grip on Calum ordered.

I held onto the keys tighter and didn’t hand them over. “Let Calum go.”

They both laughed. “Why would we do that?”

The one who was upset about his daughters party shook his head. “I don’t think Calum want to go with you, sweetheart. Do you, Calum?”

I scowled at them. Something extremely fucked was going on and my heart began to race.

“No.” Calum said bluntly.

My mouth fell open slightly. “What?”

“Give us the keys.”

“Calum.” I almost whispered.

“Just give us the keys, Josie.” Calum spat.

Anger rose in my body. This was a con. He was fucking using me. This was all an act from the start. What an asshole. Honestly.

“So you were just using me?” I yelled.

“More or less.”

I gave him a dirty look as I shook my head. “D’you know what? Take the fucking keys.”

Throwing the keys at him, my breathing became heavy at how angry I was. Out of habit, I folded my arms across my chest as I stood in front of the three of them. One of the men bent down and picked up the keys from the ground before twirling them around his fingers.

“Thank you.”

“Fuck you.” I spat and began walking away.

I purposely hit Calums shoulder as I walked past and he grabbed my arm, pulling me against him. Suddenly, his lips became one with mine as he began to kiss me. Completely repulsed, I pushed him off me and punched him straight in the nose.

“Fucking prick.” I muttered.

He staggered back holding his nose and began to laugh. “That is why I like you, Josie. You’re not afraid to use your hands.”

I flipped him off as I began backing away. “Rot in Hell, Calum.”

Calum took his hands away from his nose revealing the smirk that plastered his face. “Have a nice walk home.”

I shook my head in anger as I exhaled out of my nose. Before I began to walk away I laughed to myself. “I hope you didn’t enjoy playing for Broad Plain.”

With that I began to walk off. My pace was faster than normal because of how pissed I was and now I had to walk home which would take at least forty five minutes. When I walked past the youths on the bench they began shouting a load of crap and I swear my eyes rolled to the next decade.

A fucking hour. An hour it took me to walk home. The only money I had on me was 23p which wasn’t even enough to buy me a fucking Fredo. As soon as I walked through the doors to my house my mum entered the hall from the living room.

“What happened to you?” She asked, he voice going higher than usual.

I had no idea of what she was talking about until I went to kick off my Vans and saw the dark patch on the knee of my tights. “I fell over at the football field.” I muttered as I removed my shoes and picked them up from the floor.

“Well, be more careful next time.”


And that was that. That was her moment of caring about me. If you ever wonder why I don’t give a shit about most things that happen in my life then this is the reason why.

Before I could make it to the top of the stairs she called up after me. “Dad’s asleep so be quiet.”

Ignoring her, I walked along the hallway to my room and pushed the door open with my shoulder. The lock was dodgy which didn’t help when I wanted some privacy in this house.

When I woke up the next morning, my knee was stiff and my knuckles were a little bruised from punching Calum. Nothing he didn’t deserve though. Still sat on my bed, I opened the curtains and looked out of the window like I did every morning. There was something different today. The usual spot where my car should be parked was occupied by a shiny, lime green Vauxhall Corsa.

My dad was at work and I knew that because his black BMW wasn’t parked on the drive. Mum had her driving license taken off her so that was definitely not her car. My mouth twisted to the side as I thought about the car. I pushed myself off the bed by the window seal and went downstairs.

“Mum?” I yelled as my feet pattered along the hall.

“Kitchen.” She called back.

When I walked through the archway to the kitchen I found her on his hands and knees hoovering behind the radiator. I awkwardly scratched my neck as I approached her. “Who’s car is parked on the drive?”

“I don’t know.” She groaned as she stretched he arm up to grab the ledge of the radiator to help her self up. “But…” she began as she walked over to the end counter, “Someone gave me this earlier.”

In her hand she was holding a white envelope that rattled when she picked it up. My name was written in blue pen across the front with a kiss underneath. I took it from her and began to feel it up.

“You eating breakfast?”

“No.” I muttered, too transfixed on the letter. “Who gave it to you?”

“A boy.” She said simply. I gestured for her to go more indepth. “Brown hair, blonde streaks, good looking.”

“Okay. I get it, mum.”

“Sorry.” She muttered, a chuckle escaping her lips.

Once again, my sock clad feet pattered along the floor up towards my room. The hoover started back up just as I fell onto my bed, my back resting up against the window seal. Twirling the enveloping around with both hands I made an assumption of who this was from. Calum Hood.

I even shocked myself with this plot twist so don’t worry. Once again, message me for the next part.

[TRANS] Ceci September Issue Wooyoung Interview


The first time he flickered across in my path, he seemed to be a young boy who looked even younger than I thought. When we met for a photo shoot for the second time, he was still brimming with raw and delightful energy. For the third time, an obviously grown-up and experienced appearance was a welcoming sight. Thus, he picked out the growing pains of the harsh 20s one by one. As if it was nothing.


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So earlier today I hit 500 followers which I never thought I would reach when I made this account.
I wanted to do a small follow forever to thank you all because I’ve made some really great friends on here ❤️

Firstly, my best friend itscupcakecal - Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me, you always know how to make me laugh and I can guarantee having a great time with you. We may have only become really good friends over the past few years but we’ve already shared so many great moments and created so many memories; I love you so much ❤️

Everyone here I will follow forever and even if we haven’t spoken, I still love you guys:
acciotronnor adorefranta all-about-troyler conconsivan connor-phanta englishloveaffairtronnor fathoming-the-stars feelingthefeels95 flannelsandsweaters frantafrantafranta franta-fanboy freakingcrazyforconnor happylittleconnor icherishtronnor iconictronnor idktronnor ilysbtronnor peace-out-little-munchkins starbucks-sivan talkingtronnor talkmedowntronnor tronnorfravan tronnorilysb tronnor-found-wonderland tronnor-obsessed troyesfranta troyesharmony troyes-button-nostrils

And finally, connorfranta and troyesivan, I love you guys