i laughed at this more than i maybe should have

School, work, clean, cook.


That’s my life.

But…

I also have cuddles, and kisses and the sweetest conversations.

Last night, we stayed up after stating we would go to bed 1000 times, laughing till our bellies hurt.

Laughing till we became silent. Just bodies moving oddly haha.

We needed that.

It’s been a long few months with me in school, and it’s only going to get longer because I do plan to be in school all year this year. Through summer and fall.

I love him. More than any other romantic soul.

He treats me like he should. To find that is rare.

I can’t wait to marry him one day, buy a house together, and have more babies… maybe.

Like everyone else, I have things I don’t necessarily want to talk about, and one of those things is myself. A lot of people would attribute this to humility. I know I’m not ‘all that’ and would never claim to be. Even so, this reluctance to discuss myself feels more fear-induced than anything else. I guess you could say I’m scared of ghosts. People can become them. You can laugh with them, hold them, maybe even kiss them. Until you can’t. Until they leave. And then what do you have? Memories. They can do their best to disappear from your life, but that won’t stop you from thinking of them at 3am. You know you should be sleeping, but instead you’re thinking about the songs you shared, and their laugh, and how they held you when you could barely keep yourself together. And then you’re breaking, because you remember for the nth time that they’re not there to hold you together anymore. I’ve read about it, I’ve seen it, in some ways I’ve even lived it. So now I’m not as open a book as I used to be. I decide the speed at which my pages are turned, or if they’re even turned at all. After hearing and being a character in too many ghost stories, you begin to expect people to become them. You become wary of them, expecting their pseudo-death. Everyone deals with this wariness differently. Some decide to disappear first. Others like me wait for what feels like an inevitable end, but hope for a better outcome. When I open up to you, I’m asking you to be different. I’m asking you to not turn into another person that haunts me.
—  Maxwell Diawuoh, Haunting (301/366)
sterek fics of the week

The Sun Comes Crashing In by pinetreekate (Pinetreekate) [E] [17273]

Coming back to the moment, the guy says, “So, you got a plan for all your canning? A big family, or lots of friends and co-workers?”

“Not really,” Derek says wryly. “It’s a … new hobby, I guess, and I got a little carried away.” A little, he thinks, that’s a laugh. Hugely carried away, is more like it. “I have way, way more than I know what to do with.”

“Happens,” the guy says, smiling into his eyes. Derek’s heart skips a beat as the eye contact lasts a second longer than it maybe should. “I’m Stiles, by the way,” he says, holding out a hand.

Derek shakes his hand, has to remind himself to let go. “Derek,” he answers, and feels his ears warm up.

OR

A story in which Derek makes jam and pines, and Stiles and his dad have a farm.


Tell Me a Lie by MellytheHun [E] [7395]

If you’ll consider this prompt. Peter had bitten Stiles and after his death Stiles is Alpha (He killed Peter or else). So. Derek and Scott are not automatically his pack. But he needs it. So comes to them to make the pack. And Derek is confused and scared. he doesn’t understand how Stiles can be his Alpha, but being next to him feels more pack then Peter and Laura were.


showed me the statues underground by stilesinwonderland [T] [4265]

“You’re not Margaret,” he states, still frozen a few feet from the counter because god, he’s thrown by the guy, with dark features and protruding cheekbones and a sharp jaw.

or where Stiles is an artist and Derek’s grandma owns an art shop that he shops at


I Settle for Long Distance Calls by iamursforevrmre [G] [4369]

Derek is the guy who Stiles met on some random band page on MySpace because Derek made a ridiculously hilarious comment and with a spurt of confidence, Stiles had messaged him to tell him just how hilarious it was and they got to talking. Derek is the guy that made a FaceBook account just to talk to Stiles on the messenger so they could talk more when MySpace was slowly dying out. Derek is the guy that changed his text message plan to unlimited when he finally sent Stiles his cell phone number. Derek is the guy that has been on the phone with Stiles at any and all hours through the day.

And Derek is the guy that Stiles is in love with.


my heart’s been offline by thepsychicclam [E] [58893]

31/M/New York. Rich, lays in bed all day, likes to read (aka Derek Hale, son of an Oscar winning actress, brother of one obnoxious reality star and one rebellious fashion designer, hates the paparazzi so much he’s a recluse)

26/M/California. Boring office job, likes to read (aka Stiles Stilinski, co-owner of a 100 acre organic farm with his dad and two best friends, writer of obits for a newspaper, has absolutely no life)

Or, where Derek and Stiles meet online, and Stiles has no clue Derek’s part of a famous family.

I rode with a furious intensity, racing towards my goal. I was an arrow, heading to my destination, where I should be. Knowing every turn of the road from having been to her place for years made it easier. Sometimes I didn’t know why I was rushing. Not sure if all I wanted to do was to see her safe, away from the hands of that sick boy. Or maybe I just missed her.

 Sonya was more than beautiful. She was everything. She was the summer I learnt to swim because she pushed me into the pool. She was the feeling of holding onto white bed sheets as I laughed into them. And her smile. When I stared at her, my lungs would collapse under the overwhelming desire I had to be hers. I didn’t want to keep her; she was sunshine that couldn’t be simply stored in a bottle. I wanted to be hers. I wanted the universe to align, and for Sonya to see that I cared. That I loved being her friend, but I loved her alone even more.

 I dumped my yellow bike in the front of her place. My heart raced a little as I knocked, hoping that it was her alone in the house. I shifted my feet and waited even though I knew Sonya never locked her doors. She liked patient people. I had made a mental note of that ever since she made a casual comment of it while waiting in line for a drink.

 My fingers were running through my hair when the door opened swiftly. Looking up made my heart skip. Sonya’s smile was flawless. Her dark brown hair caressed her face and made her look so gentle. The rustled striped shirt she had on was folded in on one side, showing off her slightly tanned skin and her curved waist. ‘Coley!’ she said, her bright grin still on, ‘I missed you!’

 I laughed. ‘It’s been three days since I last came here, Sonya. You’re getting desperate.’

 Sonya smiled and shook her head, ‘Whatever.’ Her slender arms reached around my neck and pulled me into a tight hug. My face was practically in her soft head of brown hair, and I could smell a tinge of the shampoo she always used. It was a familiar scent. Sometimes the clothes I borrowed Sonya would come back smelling like her, and I would hold onto those and bury my head in them with a silly grin. Often I wouldn’t wear them for weeks on end just to keep that piece of her with me.

 I was relishing the warmth of her embrace when Sonya’s grip loosened and moved away from our hug. Heavy footsteps came down the room. It was Trenton. That fucking fuckboy. I internally cursed as I saw his ugly floral shirt unbuttoned, exposing his chest. What had he and Sonya been doing? The thought made me mad. He didn’t deserve to put his disgusting hands on something as close to art as Sonya. My smile stiffened even more as he messed up my hair, thinking it would seem like a sign of affection. I only tolerated him because Sonya seemed to do the same.

 It had been around half a year ago when Sonya told me about her relationship with Trenton. She had never even showed me a picture of him before that. We were just lying on her bed when she brought it up, and I think the casualness of it was the reason that pissed me off most.

 ‘You know, white looks really good on you Sone. Maybe you could wear something white to Jason’s party this weekend-’

 ‘Cole.’ I remembered how she whispered my name. It was the first time I heard her speak my name with that tone. It was the tone of her hiding something from me.

 ‘Yeah?’

 ‘I’m going out with someone. His name is Trenton. I’ll-‘ she stopped as her eyes met mine, ‘I’ll introduce him to you soon.’

 My eyebrows furrowed. ‘Why haven’t I heard you talk about him before? I’ve never even heard his name come out from your mouth.’ My voice was demanding. I hated how angry I sounded. Sonya’s eyes were wide with fear as she turned her head to the other side of the bed, avoiding eye contact. Guilt quickly panged my heart. Sonya was gentle and soft and graceful. I was full of edges and sometimes those edges would claw on her skin.

 ‘I’m sorry,’ I breathed. It hurt to see Sonya turn away from me.

 She gave a pained smile as she faced me again. Her eyelashes fluttered, eyes locked onto the bed sheets instead of me. ‘It’s alright. It’s my fault for not mentioning this sooner. Trenton’s a really great guy. You’ll see.’

 “Great” didn’t last very long. It was three months ago when I first noticed the bruises. I talked to her with concern about them, but Sonya would only let me brush the matter off. But it hurt me more. The fact that she wouldn’t even let me care about her physical health, that the boy was worth all the pain he came with. I wanted to shake her awake. She wasn’t even thinking straight those few months, numbing herself with too many parties and drinks. I just wanted Sonya to be back.

 A hatred for Trenton burned in me as the days grew. I knew he would hurt Sonya when she didn’t feel like making out, and when he forced her to, he would leave his mark on her as if claiming ownership. I would hold Sonya in my arms as we lay on her bed when those days happened. She would cry for hours. I always attempted to convince her to leave him, but she blamed it all on his drinking. I didn’t understand her type of love. Mostly because Trenton was hurting Sonya, and I hated seeing her crumble and break because she was fragile porcelain that needed care. And I would stroke her hair as she trembled and eventually fell asleep, then I would cry too. She never heard me. I made sure she didn’t.

 I threw my bag into Sonya’s room and walked out to see Trenton lighting a cigarette for her. He smoked on a regular basis, making the house smell like him too much. Sonya only did so once or twice a month. She told me she liked blowing the smoke out of her mouth, as if she had a fire burning within. As long as it made her happy, I went with it.

 I jumped onto the kitchen counter where Sonya was sitting on once Trenton left. Cigarette smoke enveloped my face. She chuckled as I stared at the smoke she had puffed out. I gave a little smile. In my mind, she looked mysterious and out of reach. Her fingers came closer to my face, placing the cigarette she had just smoked into my mouth.  Sonya smiled proudly as I took the breath of smoke in without coughing. Usually, I couldn’t stand it. But I would at least try for her. She liked it when people attempted things to make her happy too.

 The smoke flowed out of my mouth as I breathed out. ‘There,’ she spoke, ‘You have a wildfire in you.’ I looked into her eyes as I returned her smile. Sonya pushed the cigarette into my hand and lit another for herself.

 I saw Trenton at the corner of my eye, drinking from a bottle as usual. “Screw him”, I thought. Sonya and I were having a moment. I grinned as I thought that I had stolen a few more seconds with her, a few more memories more than he could ever hope to make.

*

Watching Sonya dance always took my breath away.

 We had driven out from her place and into a plain where only Sonya and I knew. Well, at least it used to be just us. Hardly anyone ever visited our spot because of the tall electrical grids that surrounded the area.

 Her golden brown hair flowed wildly in the wind as she swayed rhythmically. Sonya liked to dance a lot. She could do it without music, pretending the world was a movie and the soundtrack was in her head. I never really found the words to describe her in those moments, where the sun would glow on her and she would seem too beautiful and too much. I would just stare, and think of the lost words that never seemed enough.

 Sonya grabbed hold of a long cloth and started spiraling around giddily like a kid. She was having fun and I couldn’t hide my smile. My mouth would grow sore sometimes just looking at Sonya; she always brought the happiness out of me. I think that was what I loved most about her. That she managed to round my edges and make me into this softer, kinder girl. But she did it without ever making me lose myself, and I loved her for that.

 Of course, she loved someone else. Her heart had always been too big to fit only one.

 I kicked at the dirt and stared lustfully at Sonya. The things I would do just to let her know I loved her too. That my love was even more than that asshole’s.

 ‘I could love you back, Sonya,’ I whispered. She continued to turn in the sunlight.

 ‘I swear I already do.’

*

We had always changed in the same room. I liked to stand in front of the mirror, not because I enjoyed checking my looks, but because Sonya would always be at the other end of the room. In front of the mirror, I could sometimes see her back as she changed, even though I told myself not to.

 I took a breath in as my eyes caught sight of her bare back. And as much as I warned myself against it, my head angled instinctively to her direction. Her hair covered her shoulder blades like a waterfall, and I took in the sight of her thin waist.

 But immediately, the ever recurring thought knocked me to my senses. “We’re just friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be.”

 I gulped and reached into my bag for my swimsuit. While adjusting, I could feel a pair of eyes on me. Sonya, with her fingers tying her own two-piece, beamed as we locked eyes. I blinked and managed a smile back as she shyly looked down. My heart fluttered at the sight.

 That was the thing about us. We would always seem so close to actual loving, but it haunted me too. That maybe it was me interpreting everything wrong, that I was the only one who saw our spark.

 ‘Come on, Cole,’ she spoke softly, ‘let’s go enjoy summer.’

 I lowered my head and smiled, ‘Yeah.’

*

Sonya’s eyes closed hard as I spurted water into her face. I was giggling so much that small mouthfuls of water came in every time I laughed. ‘Oh my god Coley, stop it!’ she shouted gleefully. I grinned as we did anything but swim in the pool.

 A loud splash of water stopped our little game as Trenton had jumped into the pool. “Rude,” I thought. I hated the way he would steal Sonya’s attention just as we were at our happiest. Trenton swam over to her, and in a single motion, piggy-backed her in the water. Sonya laughed even louder as he jokingly attempted to dump her in. All this I took in with a calm expression, trying not to show how mad I was at him even though the hatred was really overflowing at that moment.

 Yes, I was jealous. Jealous that he had somehow gotten Sonya and pushed me out of the picture. But most of all, I hated his intimacy with her because he didn’t deserve it. If anyone had ever hurt or made Sonya cry, he didn’t deserve to make her laugh again. You don’t get to be someone’s happiness once you’ve been their pain for so long.

 It didn’t take much time for Trenton to grow bored and leave the water for a drink. We could hear the clang of beer cans as he clumsily made his way into the kitchen for more. Sonya sighed. She could do nothing to stop him.

 We left the poolside and went in once the sun got bright. After taking a shower, we got each other ready for the party later. Our wet hair was bundled up in towels as I painted Sonya’s nails. It took a lot of attention. I was focused, my hands held her soft fingers as I slowly gave each one of them colour.

 I only left my sight on her nails, the palm of her hand in mine. I tried not to think about our possibilities. After all, I was the only one who gave those lustful gazes when she wasn’t looking. I finished painting her nails and gave her a grin. ‘There, all done.’

 Sonya hesitated and glanced into my eyes. She always seemed like she was thinking, pondering about something. Her dark pupils met mine. ‘Thanks, Cole.’  

 We dried our hair and when Sonya asked to help gloss my lips, I could only nod. Her fingers slowly ran the gloss on my lips, and her eyes seemed to run wildly, glancing at her work then at my eyes. My pulse stopped as Sonya’s brown eyes decided to stay on mine, gazing in as if she had found something in my sight.

 I stared back as the air stilled around us. We looked at each other far too long, and when I averted my gaze, my vision only fled to the sight of her lips. My mind spun as I felt the tension between us, the hide-and-seek game happening between our eyes. Finally, Sonya blinked and looked away. My heart was racing, trying desperately to remain calm even though I could feel it. I could feel our possibilities, and she probably did too. We didn’t say anything, both only listening to the sound of the lip gloss being kept back into the bottle. We didn’t know what to say to break the silence.

 I could’ve said those three words though. If I had the guts, I could have.

 But I was anything but brave.

*

I kept my eyes on Sonya as she puffed out another whirl of cigarette smoke. Not many people were in the room, all friends of Trenton’s that I never bothered to know. They all drank and smoked as they pleased, leaving me sitting on the couch awkwardly. I hoped nobody did anything stupid while they were drunk and hurt Sonya.

 When Trenton left his seat next to me to go grab more beers, Sonya quickly took the side of the couch. She laid down next to me, face-to-face. ‘Hey Coley, I’m here to bring you the life of the party,’ she joked.

 ‘Shut up,’ I joked back. She was trying to cheer me up, she always did. I didn’t enjoy drinking or partying, and yeah it may have meant that I was a “boring” person, but Sonya never minded.

 She smiled, ‘Why so glum?’ Her voice turned stern when she asked, ‘Did anyone do anything to you?’

 ‘Nah,’ I cleared her worries away. ‘No one even notices my existence here.’

 Sonya hit me gently on the shoulder with her bottle of beer. ‘Don’t be stupid, Cole, I totally notice your really amazing existence here. But if someone else does,’ she continued, mimicking a punch, ‘I’d knock them senseless out of jealousy.’

 Her eyes twinkled as I laughed. She always cheered me up. Always.

 Suddenly, a hand clawed down and roughly pulled Sonya to her feet. Trenton was back. He wrapped his filthy hands around Sonya’s waist, one hand even sliding down to her crotch region. He was drunk and obviously enjoying himself. His friends whistled as he pulled her closer, making me more uncomfortable and angry by the second.

 Trenton buried his face into Sonya’s neck and she could only smile awkwardly. ‘Trenton, hey…’ Sonya managed, attempting to stop him. I could feel my fists curling up and the only thing I could do was look away.

 Sonya seemed to have noticed my uneasiness, because in a strong movement, she had pushed Trenton away forcefully. ‘Stop it!’ she shouted, and the room quickly grew silent. ‘Alright, alright! Geez…’ He grumbled and made his way out.

 Sonya sighed and sunk into the couch next to me again. I could see the humiliation in her eyes, and I didn’t want to say a thing. If I did, she might have broken into tears. Instead I took a sip from my cup, and tried to brush the look of fear in Sonya’s eyes away from my mind.

*

‘Sonya?’

 The party was over but she was nowhere to be found. I had wanted to comfort her about what had happened just now, but where was she? My fingers ran down the corridor full of framed pictures and reached her room. Peeking in though, she was still not there. That meant only one last place she could possibly be at.

 Walking out, I saw Trenton napping on the couch. Relief washed over me because at least I knew that Sonya was safe. And that we had time alone.

 I opened the glass door leading to the pool, and immediately caught the sight of Sonya, legs in the water and leaning in. Taking my place next to her, she looked over and what pained me most was the look of fear dissipating from her eyes. She had been afraid that it was Trenton, that he would have come to hurt her again.

 ‘It’s just me,’ I said.

 I kept my eyes on the still water as Sonya’s head leaned in and stayed on my shoulder. She didn’t say anything. I was mesmerized by her reflection in the pool water, taken aback by her beauty time and time again.

 “God, you’re so beautiful. Your heart, your thoughts, they’re so stunningly beautiful. How can he not appreciate that? You are everything and so much more, Sonya. I love you and I just want you to be safe and happy.”

 The thoughts ran in my mind as our reflections shone back. “I love you.” I kept thinking of those three words, running them in my mouth, tasting how they felt like but never letting them out. “I really do.”

 Sonya moved next to me, her head slowly angling towards my direction. She hadn’t said a thing since I found her by the pool. And I had said a million things in my mind.

 But she couldn’t hear them. Of course, she couldn’t, Of course-

 All thoughts halted the moment our eyes met. I couldn’t think. I only saw her lips, and I think she only saw mine too. And everything around us stopped. I remember that moment, those magical seconds where we leaned closer and our heads naturally angling to fit each other. Where we knew there was only one outcome to our actions then.

 We were so close when the hand grabbed hold of my hair and yanked my head to the ground.

 I heard an angry shout as my head fell to the floor, and then a loud pang that ringed in my head. I knew it was Trenton. I didn’t even get to see anything but I knew. Red viscous liquid crusted my lips, the impact having brought out blood. I could taste the metallic flavor of it, and it took effort to open my eyes. But the ring that blinded my ears slowly went away. I could finally recognize the words being screamed.

 ‘-Of all people, HER? You don’t even try to defend yourself! Just keep your mouth shut, you’ve done enough already!’

  I clawed open my eyes and the sight of Trenton madly shouting into Sonya’s face filled my vision. He was vicious, angry at her. Sonya didn’t say anything, she hadn’t made a sound. All she did was stare at me on the ground.

 ‘LOOK AT ME!! NOT HER!’ Trenton yelled. I saw Sonya raise her head, and roughly I could make out what the sparkle in her eyes were. Tears. But as I tried to keep my vision from blurring, I could see her glance back at me.

 My heart broke when I saw how pained she looked. I couldn’t even feel the wounds on my head anymore, all I felt was the ache of my heart being torn into pieces. She was being pierced, word by word, being scarred again and again by Trenton’s ugly words. I wanted to save her. I never wanted to saw her hurt again.

 I could save her. I could.

 ‘How dare you do this to me! What are you even- ’

 I lunged at Trenton. The sound of his angry shouts were instantly replaced by the loud gasp from Sonya. I didn’t saw her reaction. I just saw my enemy. Pushing him down, I punched my fist into his face. I felt the surface of my fingers sting as they contacted with hard bone, but it didn’t stop me. Nothing was going to.

 I forced my fists down his skin, making him feel the pain he had inflicted onto Sonya all along. I hated him. I hated the countless times he made her cry, I hated how he hurt her heart, I hated how he stole my chance to mend her heart back. I really did hate him. And with every reason I thought of, I replaced them with a punch onto his body. I didn’t care that my hands had begun to bleed, I felt nothing. I just wanted to make him feel at least a quarter of the pain he had put Sonya through.

 And as I landed each punch, I remembered every moment when she was perfectly happy without him. Us lying on her bed, talking about what we would want to do in the future. Another punch. Sonya tracing her fingers on her table, turning to me and giving a smirk. Punch. Her cheering me up and making me laugh until I couldn’t breathe. This time I hit him square in the jaw.

 Slender arms buckled onto my waist but I wasn’t done. Sonya was pulling me away. I kicked him on the leg as I remembered the day when Sonya and I had danced in her room, pretending we were at a concert together. And again, when the fresh image of her dancing in the sunlight graced my memory.

 I only stopped when Sonya’s face was in front of mine. There were tears running down her cheek. She trembled as her fingers ran through my hair and cupped my face. I smiled bravely as she took in my wounds one by one. She was so insanely beautiful. She really really was.

 Her thumb touched the gash on my lip and wiped the blood away. I winced. Sonya sniffed in tears as she saw me hurt. I kept smiling, I was so happy. I had protected her. I had finally gotten the guts to save Sonya. She wasn’t going to be hurt anymore.

 Our eyes met once more. In a split second, her mouth made its way to mine and for the first time, we had made contact. She did it softly, knowing I had a cut on my lip. Our faces angled to complement each other, and we kissed with intensity and yet gentleness. For a second, I laughed because that was all I ever wanted. Because Sonya was happy, and so was I. Our lips met again and we continued to kiss. Her hands tenderly placed on my face, I could feel everything then. The sunlight, the smell of her silky hair, her lips and my pulse jumping out of my skin.

 When we finally parted, all we could do was laugh giddily. Sonya’s hands still on my neck, we placed our foreheads together, closer both physically and in our hearts than ever. It was so much. We pulled each other in for a hug, and as I rested my head on Sonya’s shoulders, I felt happier than I could ever imagine.

 ‘You shouldn’t have done that,’ she spoke into my ears, almost joyfully.

 I smiled. ‘I just knocked him senseless out of jealousy.’

 Sonya laughed into my arms. A tear still in her eye, we stared directly into each other. She grinned and stole the words that I never managed to give to her first.

 ‘I love you.’

*

The ride home hurt. Wind howled and seemed to scratch at my wounds, and my legs shook as they pedaled. But inside, everything that had been broken was now healed.

 It must have looked peculiar to others, this girl who had gotten into a fight cycling home, silly smile permanently plastered to her face. But I was too happy. The feeling overflowed my heart as I thought of Sonya. Everything was so much better. Everything was perfect.

 I looked up to the darkening sky and closed my eyes. “Thank you.” I whispered with a grin. It was probably going to rain soon, and I still had some distance to cover before I reached home.

 But who cared? I wasn’t rushing anyway.

double the trouble

request: can I request 47, 37, and 33. the 47 is said by reader, the rest is reid, maybe?

#47. “I love you and I am terrified.”
#37. “Twins? We’re…we’re having twins?!”
#33. “I think we should have another.”

“I think we should have another.” Reid whispers as the both of you finally put your one year old to sleep, leaving the room as quietly as you can. “Another baby.”

You raised his eyebrow at that. “Now?”

“Well not right now,” Reid laughed as he shook his head. “But soon. I’d like to have them close together.”

“Hm,” you hummed sounding a bit hesitant. You loved your husband and your baby more than anything in the world, but you couldn’t shake off the fear that had followed you ever since you gave birth to the little one. The birth had been a dangerous procedure for your health, putting your life at risk. Even though everything turned out fine for you and the baby, you couldn’t forget what you went through.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm a licensed massage therapist and the amount of times I hear "do you give happy endings" both in and outside of work is more than I would have ever imagined and I figured I'd hear it A LOT. I've taken to either 1) doing an obnoxious, exaggerated HYUK HYUK goofy laugh or 2) looking them dead in the eyes with the most confused, innocent look I can muster and say "what's that?" if having to explain the joke makes you uncomfortable, maybe making it in the first place should too!

I’m 20.
I’m not sure what makes me tick and I don’t know why I’m heartless often to people that care about me a lot.
I can’t go two weeks without having a mental breakdown and I’m under the influence more often than I should because I love the calming numb it gives me. The rush. The courage to be confident and jokes to make men laugh.
I get used and I let it happen. Again and again.
I haven’t felt love by a man, ever.
I’ve never had sex that meant anything…
Maybe I use people sometimes too..
I know I’m not going to find my soulmate in this town or even this state.
I’m 20.
I’m harmful to everyone including myself. I’m my own biggest critic. I hate myself on days I get a handful of compliments.
I say harsh things and don’t care at times.
I’m all those things but I will always give a fuck about you even if I don’t always act like it. I will be there at 2am when you need someone to hold your hair because you had one too many shots. I’m harmful and deadly but in the most beautiful way possible. I’ll make you laugh even though I’m not under the influence.
I can’t sing and I’m bad at math. On bad days I skip all my classes and pretend to be sick.
I’ve never called off a day of work in my life.
Dogs make me happy when I’m barely hanging in there.
I’m 20.
And I’m still learning.
—  Twenty // (m.a.b)
lessons

She really should have been expecting it, but when lips brushed against the back of her neck, tickling her, Jemma nearly jumped in surprise.

“Skye!” She laughed but didn’t push the other woman away as Skye leaned on her more.

“Your code is wrong there.” Skye murmured into her neck, pressing kisses against it again.

“Well maybe if my teacher would stop getting so distracted I could get some learning done.” Jemma teased. “Unruly teacher Skye.”

“Better than unruly patient Skye.” Skye quipped back and Jemma couldn’t deny that was true.

With a hum of agreement she brought her head to the side to rest her cheek against one of the arms around her, giving Skye better access to her neck.

“Still I am supposed to learning.” She had gone to Skye after all to discuss learning some hacking in the event that Skye would be out on the field and unable to.

“Jemma,” Skye groaned, somehow flopping more onto her, “I love hacking but not this much and you’ve learned the basics. Besides,” Skye pulled back and Jemma had to crane her neck to look up at her girlfriend. “In what world am I not going to be next you and able to do this?”

“A world I hope I never get to see.” Jemma responded honestly, reaching up to grasp Skye’s hand and pull her in once more.

Lipstick

Originally posted by kjwcyd

Lipstick 
Rated: Mature

Bobby groaned rolling over in bed, seeing you at your vanity getting ready for the day. You were freshly showered, wearing a only your bra, panties, and a robe as you did your make up. He smiled to himself and made eye contact with you through the mirror. “Mmmm….You look so sexy Noona”

You laughed and gave him a little wink as you finished off your mascara. “Morning”

“Why do you have to go to work today? I have the whole morning free. You should stay with me”

“Maybe you should do something productive. Didn’t Hanbin want to do a morning workout today?”

“Yeah, but I’d rather stay with you.”

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Why Yamada Ryosuke is the member who has high feminine power?

I read all magazine for December issue, so this is summary, why Yamada maybe more feminine than YOU! LOL

Generally, I like sweets. I like to go to cafe. My hobby is making snow dome (laugh). I get along with girls better since I have older and younger sister in home. - the person itself

“Because his hobby is going to various cafe and making snow dome! He puts many candles in his room and even he raises roses!” - Keito

“He has pretty face, his skin is beautiful as well. There were times he used cosmetic from Korea too!” - Yuuto

“Because we care with cosmetic!” - Daiki

"He always go to various cafe in holidays. He can realize even the small changes like [Ah, your hair, you aready fixed it?] or [Ah, you wear that cloth for the first time, right!]. Even me, I would never be able to realize small changes like that. His feminine power is great.” - Yuuya

"f I answer [Ryosuke] here. It is already too common! (laugh)” - Yuuri
(All answer from Duet Dec’15)

Some supported trivia:

  • Yamada is known as the member who has the prettiest room (the person itself confirm this). He always clean it twice a day. When he depart from home and when he comes back to home. He cleans it for 15-20 minutes every time. (Duet Dec’15)
  • Recently, Yamada search cute cactus to be put in his room. He search this to everywhere with Keito accompany him. Even he mistaken saloon as plant shop at that time. (WU Dec’15)
  • Recently he watched movie DVD, it was [Cinderella]. (Potato Dec’15)
  • He is the only one member who doesn’t play game while all JUMP members play [Metal Gear Solid] together with seniors also, (Potato Dec’15)

Therefore, girls, if you want to learn to be more feminine, learn from the expert!

I can’t stop thinking about old, married men Ian and Mickey

  • Old man Mickey in an electric wheelchair and Ian in his lap as they very slowly zoom down the street - laughing loudly “We might be old as balls, but we still know how to have fun, Gallagher.”
  • Or Ian having back problems and Mickey helping him sit down when it gets painful.
  • Steadying each other 
  • Mickey having a bad knee and Ian always helping him to stand up, holding his hand out for Mickey to take when they go up and down stairs and Mickey always complains like “I don’t need your fucking help” but they both know that he appreciates it.
  • Reminiscing about the past “Never thought I’d end up here with your wrinkly ass” “you have more wrinkles than me, Mick, maybe you should scowl less” “fuck off, I smile plenty” *is smiling right now because he loves bickering with Ian like the old married couple they became*
  • Yev rolling his eyes at his dads’ bickering when he/they visit.
  • Chatting with grandma Svetlana at Yev/grandkid related events.
  • Mickey slowly zooming up in his electric wheelchair to “kidnap” Ian because he got caught up playing with their grandkid again and jfc they were supposed to leave an hour ago. 
  • Hugging and breathing each other in, nuzzling and rocking slightly “you smell like an old fucker” “you can’t talk”
  • Resting their foreheads together and being that gross old couple that young couples dream of one day being.
  • Mickey being grumpy and insufferable but turning into a huge sap when Ian’s close by.
  • Holding hands when they walk
  • Teasing each other about being old “you need a hand there, Mick?” “fuck off, I got this”
  • Having a set date night once a week/month and organising appointments and things around that “nah can’t do Wednesday: date night”
  • Mickey and Ian being old, married and still so in love with each other.
Vixx Reaction To Being Asked About Their Significant Other During An Interview

[ Big Bang Ver. ]


N

Briefly talks about you. He’d be so happy, but careful. Just hopes not to get you into any problems, no matter how he’d love to talk about you


Leo

Wouldn’t talk much at all, nearly dodging the question. Knowing him, he’d prefer to keep your private life to himself


Ken

Would talk about you freely and a lot! He’d be more than happy to update everyone on how you two are doing together


Ravi

Chill about it. But would think a lot before speaking. Other than that he’d really enjoy talking about your relationship


Hongbin

He’d be so proud to talk about it! Would say more than he probably should
“We’re having our first anniversary soon, I’m gonna buy her something big! … Maybe I shouldn’t have said that yet”


Hyuk

He wouldn’t see it as a problem to talk about it. He’d joke and laugh a lot while talking about you, making others laugh too. He’d just be plain proud


I hope you liked it~
Feel free to request more!

I forgot how much I hated flying.

Is it getting really hot in here, or is it just me? It’s just… so stuffy. Planes never seemed this small before, and sure, I get turbulence, but I think we feel it more in first class than we would have in coach. Maybe we should have just sat at the back of then plane. Hey, is anyone else’s fan thing working? I think mine’s broken, that or the pressure is literally comparable to a baby breathing on me from ten feet away. Do you think anyone else’ll switch with me? Did anyone bring a fan? Or an ice pack? Does anyone else feel sick? Is it just me or is it getting hotter in here? Yeah, it’s totally getting hotter.

ENFP Impromptu About Me

So here are some traits I have, I’m curious to see who else has these traits in common.. Ok here we go

-I love coffee. I drink it more than I should.
-I hate turtle necks. They’re the absolute devil. My mom would always try to get me to wear them as a kid and I would have a fit. lol
-I love working with kids- I hope to do it for the rest of my life, maybe through missionary work..
-I could eat Bosco sticks everyday for the rest of my life
-Nothing makes me happier than making people laugh and spending time with the people I love
-I was that kid growing up that was zoned out, staring out the window daydreaming
-I feel like the person I am in school is completely different from the person I really am. I have to shut down into a “responsible/stressed mode” (that isn’t even that responsible). It’s an unpleasant experience for almost everyone involved
-I could sit all day and night and stare at the sky- it absolutely takes my breath away.
-When I was really little after I was finished with my bottle I would hurl it behind my head. It would bounce off the wall and sometimes get milk everywhere. My mom had to watch me and snatch the bottle as soon as I was finished for a super long time
-Reviewing this I’m pretty sure I was a problem child lol
-I get goosebumps when I hear beautiful singing
-I’m horrible at getting motivated to do stuff unless it’s an idea I can get behind
-I’m a sympathetic crier haha I cry almost any time a character in a movie or show cries. It’s really embarrassing.
-I have a billion friends but only really 3 real close ones
-I’m secretly really proud of my creativity, but would never say it cause that would obnoxious even for me
-I’ve accepted that I’m an obnoxious person lol
-I sleep A Lot, but never as much as I’d like to.
-I definitely trust my gut more than anything in most situations
-I love listening to someone talk about something they’re passionate about.

And I guess that’s it! I can’t think of anything else.. Feel free to add your own!!

douchebags: women don’t know how much it hurts to get rejected ):  ):

me: YEAH WELL maybe you should try going through all of your school years being made fun of by boys because you’re not as pretty as the popular girls!! maybe you should try having boys constantly pretend to flirt with you so they can laugh with their friends!!! yes girls can be harsh!! But more often than not it’s justified!!!

The last thirty days have taught me so much. All I wanted when we first came here was to know that we would leave together. But from the minute I sat down I could feel it, I felt like I was going to be suffocated. The last several weeks I have laughed more, I have done more, enjoyed myself more. And I finally feel free. And by being free, I can see now that constantly trying to fix us is the thing that’s been killing me slowly. And I don’t want to do it anymore, I don’t want to fix it or fix us anymore. Maybe instead of loving you so hard, I should just be myself for a while. I should love me. And you should love you, and together we love Sofia, rather than… I want so much for you Arizona. For both of us. So much more than this. More than being stuck with someone who feels stuck. I want you to feel free too.
—  Callie Torres