i laugh do hard with him

Update: so my cheek was red, and he was like “aw what happened to your cheek?” and I was like “Oh Michael hit me” and he was like “…what the fuck?” So I was like “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. It was my fault” and that seemed to set him off more. So he was like “what the fuck? What did he fucking do? Did he hurt you?” and I was like “omfg No!! Of course not!” And I explained how I scared Michael and he ended up basically karate chopping me across the face when he turned around. And I kept on stopping in the middle of my sentences because I was laughing so hard. There were tears in my eyes. Like I was legit dying. And when I finally calmed down from my laughing fit, he looked like he was thinking about something. So I was like “everything alright?” and he asks “you’re sure you’re ok?” and I was like “yeah! It was an honest mistake. I’m good” AND THEN, brace yourself because this is where shit gets real, he was like “You would tell me otherwise right? If someone or something was bothering you, you would let me know right?” and like I desperately wanted to make a joke but I could tell by the way he was looking at me that this was serious. So I was like “of course I would” and he just hugged me and said “I would hope so. The thought you getting hurt; physically, mentally, I don’t like that shit. I don’t like it one bit. It doesn’t sit well with me. And I plan on doing everything I can to prevent that.” And I just. What do you even say to that?? I was just like “Nate, you can’t protect me from everything” And he put his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and shrugged his shoulders and was like “I can try” and we were both just kinda staring at each other and I SWEAR TO GOD for a second I thought he was gonna kiss me but our supervisor yelled “TIME TO CLOCK OUT” And a part of me was like “YES I get to go home” but another part of me was like “You fucking bitch you ruined the moment” IM SORRY THAT THESE UPDATES ARE SO LONG ALL THE TIME

u sure this is real?? I FEEL LIKE IM READING A ROMCOM OR SOMETHING OMG !!!

anonymous asked:

Danse, obviously. Fallout was a fun escape for me when life got hard. Often it still can be. It was weird, but Danse made me smile through the worst times. He could be a pain, but in his own awkward way he was incredibly protective and affectionate. His seriousness in everything made me laugh too. It was weird how a fictional character could make you feel better. Since then I became very attached to this awkward but adorable tin man who follows me everywhere, even if it kills him lol.

This is so sweet to read. I hope you are doing better now, and I’m glad Danseypants was there for you when you needed him most. I’ve often felt that way about the Fallout games as a whole and I also fell in love with him as a character! He has so much more complexity than I first thought and the cutest romance lines!

anonymous asked:

basement jokes are annoying too when you consider that there are actually basements members still who haven't debuted yet where as johnny is actually an idol now

^ like my problem back then (predebut Johnny era) was that he was actually doing stuff? Like instead of people supporting him during his little cameos, performance at SPECTRUM, and his My SMT appearances, people kept making those jokes. Like I’m sorry??? Johnny was training and WORKING, even though it wasn’t necessarily while he was IN NCT. I’m 100% sure the other trainees are working hard too since they can’t freakin visit home often…

it’s probably the way i was raised, but discrediting someone’s hard work is like, a huge offense. i don’t even laugh at hansol basement jokes because 

1. he’s training hard since we haven’t seen him, except those dance workshops in japan, and since he was with SM staff nearly all the times he was spotted, we’re assuming he’s still in SM

2. idk… his fans are some of the sweetest NCT stans i’ve ever met, and sometimes people like to mess with the fact that he’s “in the basement” and i know a few people where that’s a lil hurtful to them. they wanna see him so bad too! like we’re all over here having fun but ppl keep pokin fun at hansol :( 

and honestly since this is Tumblr dot com, and it’s filled with a lot of assholes that wanna be funny and add snarky remarks to posts not concerning them, imma go ahead and say, don’t add “it ain’t that deep” to any of this because i’m trying to be a little serious lmao 

anonymous asked:

Can you do Us and sf bros with an s/o who can laugh at everything. Like, they'll just suddenly make a dumb sound and laugh at it? It's hard to get them to snort though.

I can! :D THIS IS ME THOUGH…. god

US!Sans/Plum:

– He finds it very endearing and silly. It’s just a quirk of yours that makes him love you even more.

– He’s always going to want to know what you’re laughing at so he can make note and use it in the future. If he can’t figure it out himself, he’s going to ask, and depending on what it is he’ll either laugh with you or just grin.

“THAT’S WHAT’S SO FUNNY? STARS, YOU’RE ONE OF A KIND, DEAR.”

– He uses it to his advantage and casually throws puns into his sentences at the weirdest times, just to hear how hard you’ll laugh.  His mood will lighten no matter what if you’re around - your laugh is a comforting constant in his life.

US!Papyrus/Cherry:

– Cherry loves it. Nothing makes him feel more accomplished than when you laugh at every single one of his jokes and japes.

– Sometimes he’ll see just how far he can take it. He’ll set up four jokes in a row and deliver them with different voices, timing everything just right so that you witness his latest prank on Sans right as he finishes the last one. Sans’ screams of indignation and your laugh? Music to his non-existent ears.

“you’re the best audience i could ever ask for, babe.”

– He’s never letting you go, this one. 

SF!Sans/Hunter:

– Hunter doesn’t really understand how you can do that. How is everything funny??? How is there humour in every little thing for you? It baffles him.

– Whenever you laugh at something incredibly tiny, he’ll stare at you and try to figure you out.

“WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?” He demands, leaning into your space. His exasperation makes you laugh even more. “WHAT IS IT?? I DON’T UNDERSTAND!”

– That part of you is never going to make any sort of sense to him, but he secretly appreciates it. Having someone like you around who can laugh at almost anything encourages him to loosen up every once in a while.

SF!Papyrus/Hound:

– Hound finds it as adorable as Plum does. He does poke fun at you for it on occasion, but it’s with a grin that tells you that he loves you for it.

– Sometimes you’ll startle him with your outbursts, especially if you’re cuddling close. But he’ll just shake his head and give you a small kiss on your cheek.

“you’re so weird, darlin’… don’t ever change.”

– It’s what he uses to gauge your mood. To him, your laughter is a reminder that you’re happy and alive, so if you go without doing it for a while he gets worried and sets to fix it, pronto.

anonymous asked:

Hey, tory. Existential Anon here. Can you write some Allurance for me? I'm feeling like shit and some angst mixed with fluff would help a lot.

(AN: Ah existential anon I missed you! Sorry you’re feeing so down! You’ve got it! Sorry, this took so long I had finals and some packing to do today! I’ve never written Allurance before but I hope you like it!)

Lance missed Earth. He missed Earth every minute of every day. It was something he tried hard to hide, to keep the team’s spirits up. That was what he was good at, making sure Pidge laughed or Shiro rolled his eyes. Add a little something normally to flying around giant lions in a castle ship.

But same days it got the best of him. Days like today were especially hard. He missed the rain on his face, the sand in between his toes. He missed the way his sister would climb on his back and beg to play space cadets. He even missed the sound of horns blaring and traffic lights that took too long.

Allura found him laying in the main cabin, scrolling through the planets and staring longingly at Earth: so far away it seemed impossible to reach again. It was unusual to see him so pensive.

“Lance? Are you feeling ill?” the princess asked, sitting beside him.

He gave a half-hearted grin, “Nothing your pretty face can’t fix.”

She rolled her eyes, gently placing a hand on his head. “I miss Altea dearly. I miss the way the flowers smell. I miss my father and mother and all the familiar things. It’s strange having nowhere to call home now. But when we defeat Zarkon, you’ll go back to Earth. Your home will never have the same fate as mine.”

“You think so?” He seemed brighter now. His smile was genuine again.

“I know it for certain.” Before she left, she placed a tender peck on his cheek. It was so quick, Lance swore he must have been dreaming. But the blush on the princess’ face told him otherwise.

(AN: I hope you enjoyed! I take requests so hop into my ask box whenever!)

episode one :: Yuuri Katsuki is the most beautiful disaster that Victor has ever met in his entire life, and Victor has built his empire on beautiful disasters.



Victor isn’t sure he knows what he’s doing anymore by the time casting rolls around for season 22 of The Bachelor.  Okay, he knows what he’s doing, but it’s all autopilot.  He’s got a dossier of Chip Vanderbones and Tad Hardbeefs to look at, but is almost resigned enough to just give into Lilia and Yakov’s suggestion to cast Georgi Popovich, notorious histrionic Bachelorette season 10 runner-up, as this season’s lead out of sheer notgivingafuckness.  At this point Victor isn’t even sure whether he really wants to be in this game at all anymore, but what the hell else he would do besides sleep for a thousand years if he retired before thirty?  

And then Phichit Chulanont comes into his office to distract him during a conference call with Yakov to tell him a story about his friend who just crashed and burned at the Figure Skating Grand Prix Finals, and everything click click clicks into place: redemption narrative.  Twenty young men are going for the gold, but only one can win the heart of Yuuri Katsuki– he can hear the promos, see the character arcs unfold, and the narratives rush through him like they’ve always lived inside him and it feels–exciting.  

“Phichit,” Victor says suddenly, interrupting Phichit and grabbing him from across his desk.  “We have to get him.  He’s our next bachelor.”

“Oh my God,” Phichit replies, eyes widening, and then again, “Oh my God.

“Do you think you could get him?” Victor asks.  He’s seeing figure skating dates, thematic destination shoots in Chile and Finland and Iceland, “The Bachelor: Love on Ice” title screen flashing over two champagne glasses on the lip of an outdoor hot tub.  

“Do I think I can get him,” Phichit repeats dismissively, looking the closest to offended that Victor has ever seen him.  “What do you think you hired me for, Nikiforov.”

Keep reading

Concept:

Adrien Agreste is desperate. He’s tried asking Nino, but his friend sort of tripped his way into his relationship with Alya by mistake, and he’s not too proud to admit it. Plagg is no help. He’s asked Natalie, only to get a blank look. Plagg is NO help. Adrien’s even asked Gorilla. The man stared at him through the rearview mirror for a full minute before he burst out laughing and didn’t stop even after he dropped Adrien off at school. It was hard not to pout all day.

So now, Adrien is doing what he should have done in the first place - it’s SO obvious, after all. I mean, obviously HE’D be an expert.

‘Come in.’

Adrien walks into his father’s study with shoulders pushed back in his dad’s preferred posture.

‘What did you need?’ his father asked without looking up from his designs, seven different sketched clothes articles being shuffled around to create various combinations.

‘Yeah,’ Adrien said, trying to channel as much of Chat Noir as he could, ‘so dad, you and mum, huh?’

Gabriel’s hand paused delicately where it was poised over a pair of tan women’s trousers.

'I mean, you two…. Got together and everything, you know?’

Adrien watched in fascination as his father’s eyebrows rose very slowly. He wasn’t sure if it was a good sign so he went on.

'And mum was pretty. I mean, REAL pretty. Well of course she was pretty she was a model. But she was. Nice, I mean. And you TALKED to her. And it WORKED. Of course it worked, she married you and you had ME.’

Gabriel Agreste looked like he was almost afraid to talk, but he put the sketches down, steepled his fingers and finally looked up at his son.

'What are you asking exactly, Adrien? I thought Natalie had adequately covered the topic of human sexual reproduction even before you joined College?’

'Not that, dad!’ Adrien replied, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation. 'I know all about that. Natalie tested me and everything and I got top marks. I’m asking about all the rest! That’s more important!’

Gabriel Agreste’s eyebrows joined his hairline. He managed to look vaguely nauseous, which was the face he made when he was in any way flustered or uncomfortable.

'All… The rest.’

'Yes!’ Adrien replied, the word exploding out of him when he couldn’t contain it anymore. A river of more words followed it once it had split the dam. 'The flowers and the complements, and the manners and kissing her hand, and being a gentleman! All of that! But I’ve tried it all and it hasn’t worked, so I MUST be doing something wrong! But you landed MUM, so you must have done something really right, so please dad, please teach me?’

Gabriel Agreste may as well be speechless for the first time in his life. He managed, 'What?’

'How to ask out a pretty girl!’ Adrien said in moan. 'The right way! So she says yes!’

Gabriel took off his spectacles to give himself time to think, polishing them off a silk hanky he always carried in his pocket, to give himself time to think. He didn’t think he’d be thinking about this already. But that was the problem with thinking. Once he put them back on, he’d formulated a reasonable response.

'I would like to know who the young lady in question is, before we go any further.’

Adrien’s brain went into panic mode. Darn, darn darn darn, he hadn’t thought of this! What was he going to say? He couldn’t say Ladybug obviously, his dad would never buy it. Quick, think of girls he knew! Girls he knew, girls he knew- ah! Girls from his class! Let’s see; Chloe- ah ah, hard nope, no way. Alya- nope, no way again, bro code. Mylene, yeah, super taken. Alix….. Just no. Darn it all, all he could think of were black hair and blue eyes and - hang on!

'Marinette Dupain-Cheng,’ Adrien squeaked. He hoped his cheeks feeling hot meant he would convince his father. Gabriel stared at him for a moment before he buzzed Natalie from the intercom on his desk.

'Natalie, send me the file of Dupain-Cheng Marinette from the College research folder.’

'Yes sir,’ Natalie chirped back. A few moments of heavy sweating later - for Adrien - his father’s phone pinged, and Gabriel picked it up, thumbing through whatever Natalie had sent. One eyebrow rose higher than the other in the expression his father often made when he was pleasantly surprised. Somehow, Adrien was irrationally pleased his father approved of Marinette, even though he realised he was now totally screwed.

'Designed an album for Jagged Stone,’ his father said, sounding reluctantly impressed. 'You will invite her to dinner next week.’

Gabriel put his phone down, seemingly done with the decision. Adrien tried desperately one more time.

'But, the advice!’

Gabriel looked him straight in the eyes.

'What I’m about to tell you does not leave this room,’ he said solemnly.

'Yes father!’ Adrien replied eagerly.

'The secret,’ Gabriel went on solemnly, 'is puns.’

'I knew it!’ Adrien hissed under his breath.

'Ah, but not just any puns,’ Gabriel admonished. 'That is why you have been unsuccessful. You need to find her interests, formulate humourous sentence arrangements. Drop them with the correct TIMING. Timing is crucial, especially in one particular way.’

Adrien fairly vibrated in his seat as he leaned forward, waiting for his dad to finally tell him the secret.

'You must take her hand, gently. Look her in the eyes, and tell her, without fanfare, how you feel about her. And how that makes you feel: in that order, son. Then, and only then, must you drop a very smart pun, about something she loves, and beg her to consider giving you a chance. Then walk away, let her think about it, and maybe drop another pun on your way out. Make her laugh, so that when she remembers you, she will smile. She’ll call you back within the week.’

Gabriel was smiling for the first time in a whole year, that Adrien remembered. He looked misty eyed and far away before he snapped out of it.

'Natalie,’ he said into the buzzer again, 'contact mlle Dupain-Cheng, invite her to dinner Friday week.’

'Yes sir. I will inform cook and the household.’

'Good.’ Gabriel looked at his son with a determined look on his face. 'I will allow you to see how it is done during this first dinner. I will then expect you to try and learn, with practice, during following invitations. Do not let me down.’

'No sir!’ Adrien replied excitedly. He raced to his room, almost bouncing giddily with joy at how helpful his dad had been. Real advice! With practice!

Then he froze when he realised he was going to be practicing on his sweet, shy classmate, who was likely going to get the entirely wrong idea, and who he had absolutely not the courage to come clean with; not on this.

'Darn’, he hissed into his room. Plagg ignored him and continued to eat his cheese noisily.

170224 BTS Mokdong Fansign

Q: Taehyung-ah
Taetae, you have a low alcohol tolerance, right? You usually drink coke. What alcohol and how much can you drink?

Taehyung: One bottle

Fan: Hansung is cute.
Taehyung: Ah, really? 
(He probably thought the response was bad) 
Taehyung: I want to try to act in Crows Zero~
Fan: Isn’t that going to be a scary role?
Taehyung: It doesn’t have to be a scary role, I want to wear uniform. 
Fan: Wow, that would be so cool.
Taehyung: I want to play Serizawa, he’s so cool. While acting in the drama, I’ll be the Taetae-san that speaks Japanese.

Q: Will we be able to see Agust D’s solo concert this year? I want to hear ‘So Far Away’ live on the concert.

Yoongi: I will think about it

Yoongi: Name?
Fan: I’m OO.
Yoongi: Ah, are you Japanese? (in Japanese)
Fan: Wah, (you’re speaking in) Japanese!?
Yoongi: Because I’ve studied Japanese.
(the fan heard him say ‘because I’m genius Suga’)
Fan: I’ll be going to the concert, the next one is at Tokyo Dome right~
Yoongi: Yes, Tokyo Dome.
Fan: I’ll be waiting in Tokyo.
Yoongi: Can’t wait!

Q: Namjoon ah
I’m looking forward to your mix tape! Please say something before the release! (When will it be released?)

Namjoon: Just getting ready ♡ 

Fan: Namjoon~
Namjoon: Ooh OO-san~ (in Japanese)
Fan: What language should we talk in? (in English)
Namjoon: I don’t mind. (in English) But your English is good. Where did you learn it? In Japan?
Fan: I studied in Japan~ I didn’t study abroad. (in English)
Namjoon: Not at all? (in English)
Fan: Yes. (in English)
Namjoon reads the post-it-note
Namjoon: That’s sweet. (in Japanese)
Fan: Sweet?
Namjoon: I’ll work hard preparing it~

Q: Hoseok ah~ 
I’m looking forward to your mix tape! Please say your resolution before the release! (When will it be released?)

Hoseok: I’m working hard on it, so please anticipate a lot 

Hoseok: Oh~ Mixtape~ Please look forward to it~
Fan: I can’t wait~ When will you release it?
Hoseok: Hmm~ I have a lot of work these days~
Fan: I think Hoseok-san is beautiful, what’s your secret?
Hoseok: I’ve received a lot of love, that’s why.
Fan: That’s difficult.
Hoseok: Because of everyone, I’m able to receive so much love.
Fan: I’m looking forward to your mixtape.

Q: Jimin-ah
Sniper Jimin-ah! Pierce my heart with 5 characters! (You can’t write ‘I love you’)

Jimin: I missed you (he wrote in Japanese because of the fan)

Fan: 5 characters?
Jimin: あいたかった…? (he counts with his hand)
Fan: … (in Japanese, it’s 6 characters…)
Fan: Since you have pink hair~ (passes something in pink to him)
Jimin: (laughs)
Fan: (dies of cuteness)
Fan: It’s a present~ (passes the bag)
Jimin seems to be the type to either concentrate on writing or speaking.

Q: You don’t upload cover songs these days, but will you upload (them)?

Jin: I will work hard and upload 

Fan: Are you still studying Japanese?
Jin: Yes, I’m studying diligently!
Fan: I went to the concert and your solo stage was so cool. AWAKE.
Jin: Ah, really?
Fan: If you can have solo activities, what would you like to do?
Jin: I want to try everything.
Fan: Next concert is at Tokyo Dome, right? I’ll be waiting in Tokyo!

Q: My Twitter icon is a sheep, can you draw a sheep?

Jungkook: *drawing*

Fan: You said you’ve learnt Japanese, so can we speak in Japanese?
Jungkook: Ok
Fan: English too?
Jungkook: Not in English, not yet ㅋㅋㅋ
Artist Jungkook draws a sheep
Fan: Isn’t that a lion…?
Jungkook: ㅋㅋㅋ

Source
Trans: KIMMYYANG

When we first met, you and I, you asked me a question,” he said.
“Yes, I did,” she replied with a slight smirk appearing on her face.
“We were at a party. I was throwing up in the bathroom and you stumbled in, drunk and quite crazy looking. You asked me what the point of it all was. You said everything hurt. That everything always got messed up, and it was usually your fault. You were crying, hard, and you looked at me and asked me what the point was. And I didn’t know what to say, because I didn’t know. I still don’t know.”
She let out a small laugh and bumped his leg with her knee. She took a deep breath and spoke.
“You see, when we first met, I was heartbroken. I just got dumped, my mom hated me, I thought I had no one. I didn’t see the point of living, of doing anything anymore,” she told him quietly.
“Well what about now?” he questioned.
“Well now,” she spoke again, louder this time, “now I’m happy. I have you, my best friend. My mom doesn’t hate me. I haven’t fucked anything up in a while. But it won’t stay like this forever. Because I’m going to mess up again and you’ll hate me and I’ll hate you and then we’ll love each other. Maybe we’ll end up together in the long run or maybe I’ll end up wishing you would drop off of the planet. What I’m trying to say is, nothing is permanent. You won’t be happy forever but you also won’t be sad forever. Things are always changing, and you can’t stop them from doing so. The point is, that there is no point. So live however the hell you want to. We’re all destined to the same inevitable ending.
—  An excerpt from a book I’ll never write #8
Get Out.

Originally posted by tess453

Peter Parker x Reader

Request: Yes

Summary: Deciding to stay in for a date, Peter and the Reader are faced with annoying and embarrassing comments from the whole team, who are unaware of their relationship.

Word Count: 2,428

Warnings: language, fluff, annoying avengers (??), embarrassed!Peter, embarrassed!Reader, cuteness, LOTR trilogy. (Let me know if I missed any)

A/N: Alright homies, I apologize it has taken me so long to upload something. I’ve been reaally stressed. So hopefully this is okay? For the anon that requested this, I hope you like it. I’d love some feedback, as always. Enjoy reading!


Dark, gray clouds blocked any source of light from shining through the big, thick glass windows surrounding every inch of the building.

The entire tower was filled with a solemn mood that spread into every corner and room.

Most of the team dreaded days like these, since it put a damper on their mood, (especially Steve).

You, however, cherished days like these the most.

It’s where you find your peace and inner self, no matter how depressing that may sound.

It helps you relax and release any stresses that corrupt your thoughts.

But the best reason of all is that you don’t have to leave the house, even if you had a date with Peter tonight.

However, thinking that idea through, you realized something.

The whole team would be here.

With Peter and you.

During your date.

Well, fuck.

Keep reading

5

“Cards on the table?”

A story of why you should ALWAYS pay your web designer...

So I have (had?) a client that decided he didn’t want to pay the full price for my web design services AFTER he signed the agreement. What happened was he paid my 50% deposit, and I sent him the beta version on my server. He took that link to other designers and asked them to build it for cheaper. When he found a designer who would, he told me he was no longer needing a website for his business and wanted to terminate. When I said he was on the hook for the amount, he ignored me for a week and then told me he hated the website. I sent collections after him and the agent found out he had another designer working for him. This new designer charges $350 for a complete website with a year of hosting and SEO.

What happened next is phenomenal.

New designer couldn’t copy my website, so he provided an HTML (non responsive, to boot) website instead. Collection agent gave me the new website and when I looked, it was okay looking. I checked the source and right in the header tag, it said, “mirrored from…”

His designer copied the code, pictures, slogan and favicon from this other company. Being the good little designer I am, I contacted the company and asked if they knew their website had been copied. Obviously, they did not. I sent a bunch of screen caps and information to him.

Owner of website contacted my (ex) client and ripped him a new one. Client threw the designer under the bus, so the company owner called the designer next. Owner of the company threatened corporate lawyers on him.

By 11pm last night, the website was offline. By 7am this morning, a new website was up… again mirrored from a hair & beauty salon in Las Vegas.

So I called the web designer of that website and let him know. His response, “of all the websites I’ve done, they copied that one?”. He called the designer and the designer responded by removing the “mirrored from” tags in the code. Original designer will be doing a little research and starting the process for theft of intellectual property tomorrow.

Because I’m a horrible person, I went through this designer’s profile and found a few more copied websites, and sent screen caps of pages and the code to each of the original owners, as well as information on what to do. If someone wants to copy code and learn from it, fine. But don’t sell someone’s hard work as your own.

At this point, I don’t even care if I get paid from my ex client, because I have been so amused by this entire saga. But I updated my collections agent and after he was done laughing, he was going to call my ex client back and recommend he pay me completely and get the original website I created for him, rather than the mirrored hack job(s) he also paid for.

anonymous asked:

Do you have a list of funny YOI fics? Doesn't need to have much as long as it makes me laugh!!!

I love a good laugh! I have read SO many hilarious fics, here are a few of them where I was dying from laughing so hard!

(The gif was made by @nikiforoov! Thank you!!)


Humor


Bottom’s Up by cryingoverspilledvodka, lucycamui, Teen, 4.3k
At the Grand Prix banquet, Victor’s been asked to sign an autograph for a very enthusiastic fan. Unfortunately, there’s a distinct lack of paper around. Fortunately, Yuuri has a suggestion. This is the best thing I have ever read, I’m still screaming HHAHHAHAHAHA

Amateur or Expert by Watermelonsmellinfellon, Teen, 1.9k
AU where Yuuri is a ice skating instructor and Victor is thirsty for him and will do whatever it takes for Yuuri to get to know him. Even if that means pretending to not know how to skate at all, even though he’s a five-time world champion. VERY cute, lots of fluff, and Victor is hilarious in this. Love!

better than sliced bread by ebenroot, Teen, 8.1k
in which we all assumed yuuri is the one to own a dakimakura but maybe that isn’t entirely the case. LMAOOOOO

Safety Hazards in St. Petersburg by lucycamui, Explicit, 3.7k
In which Yuuri moves in with Victor in St. Petersburg and Victor discovers just how distracting living with him can be. I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH OMG

#KissOrHug by Aurum, Gen, 2.2k
Yuuri and Victor make #Victuri trend worldwide. Phichit accidentally makes it worse. This is is SO cute, it’s a must read!

he was a sk8er boy she said see you l8er boy by bookybookworm, Teen, 14k (WIP)
pika+chu: hello friends
katsudon-yuri: ummm
katsudon-yuri: what is this
pika+chu: this, young yuri, is a group chat

i’m just going to the store by bosbie, Teen, 7.2k
How Victor’s impulsiveness backfires and creates one of the greatest living internet memes to ever come out of Russia. THIS IS AMAZING HAHA

Habit by LFMH021, Teen, 2.8k
Yuuri has developed a habit. Before competitions, whenever he wants to concentrate and exercise at the same time, he faces the wall, braces his forearms on it and then wiggle his hips while trying to recite over and over again his routine. HAHAHAAHA

Turn Backwards on Go by inkwellstars, Not Rated, 5.3k
In which Yuuri and Victor, happily married and retired, find themselves thrown into the past and proceed to mess with everyone. One of the few time travel fics without angst. Super hilarious, too!

Katsuki Yuuri Fan Club by Katyaton, Teen, 2.2k
Yuuri has been adjusting well to life in St. Petersburg, making friends with the Russian skaters and slowly adapting to the new culture. When Viktor starts obsessing over something on his phone, though, Yuuri starts to worry. He suspects it’s something related to him and wants to find out what has Viktor so transfixed, but will the ensuing embarrassment be worth his curiosity? LOLOL

turn it, leave it, stop, format it by ebenroot, Explicit, 19k
“If you want, I can recommend you some security programs that you can download for free and protect your computer. That way, you won’t be at risk of losing these cute photos of your dog even when you browse websites like ‘Luscious Lonely Wives’.” Victor gives one long ‘haa’. “I don’t browse those websites,” he says through his straining smile. SO CUTE AND FUNNY! I love @ebenroot so much!!

lovesick by Ironinkpen, Teen, 2.7k
“Did the doctor send you?” When Yuuri doesn’t reply fast enough, since he’s still gaping like a fish, he turns to Yuri. “Did the doctor send him? Because wow,” He drops his arm and presses his hand to his chest like the dramatic bastard he is. “You’ve got to be the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.”
“Oh my god,” Yuri groans. “Is he hitting on you?” OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS FIC

The Goddamn Tie Has Got To Go by  Katyaton, Teen, 4.5k
Dear God. Yuuri was wearing the tie again.
The powdery blue monstrosity was not only unfashionable (and where did Yuuri even manage to acquire such a tie?), it also reminded Viktor, with shocking clarity, of a sweaty, half naked, pole dancing Yuuri. For the sake of his remaining dignity, Viktor needed to improvise a plan to dispose of it as soon as possible. You have to read this!

Sleep(talk) It Off by cerisecandy, Gen, 1.2k
Where Yuuri sleep-talks, Viktor remains awake and suffers, and another night passes at the Katsuki family inn. Lord have mercy I nearly died while reading this I was in stitches!!!

SkateSquad™ groupchat by stxmph, Teen, 50k (WIP)
(groupchat log of the skate squad) Rec’d by a follower!


If you have any more suggestions, feel free to reply to this post with your favourites!

Stealing Hoodies

If I didn’t have twelve hundred ideas for longer fics already this would be one. So instead it shall have to be a snippet of what it could be, with invisible beginnings and ends you’ll have to imagine for yourselves.

(Also posted on AO3)


Harry frowned. He was certain he had left it hanging over the end of his bed. He knelt down and looked under the bed just in case but there was nothing, not even dust bunnies thanks to the diligent house elves.

“Neville, have you seen my hoodie? The red one I was wearing yesterday?” Harry asked.

“He’s down in the common room,” Neville said, not bothering to look up from his little windowsill garden.

Harry’s brow furrowed in confusion, “What?”

“Malfoy’s down in the common room,” Neville said absently. He glanced up at Harry’s prolonged silence and shrugged, “Who else would take it?”

“Thanks,” Harry said hurriedly, heading out of the room and down the hallway to the common room.

Sure enough, there was a red-clad figure laying on one of the couches by the fire. He was slumped down so his neck was at an awkward angle he’d come to regret later, hood pulled up and hiding most of his ridiculous blond hair, sleeves pulled down over his fingers. He had a book balanced on his chest about three inches from his face. Harry rather suspected that Draco was in dire need of a pair of reading glasses but would rather die than admit it.

Harry walked over, stopping in front of the couch to demand, “Give it back.”

“No,” Draco said flatly turning a page and squinting at the tiny type.

Harry sighed and scrubbed his hand through his hair, “Come on, all the rest are being washed.”

“I know,” Draco said smugly.

“You’re the worst, why are you like this?” Harry groaned.

Draco twitched an eyebrow up, “Have you met my father?”

Harry frowned and grabbed the bottom of the hoodie Draco was wearing.

“What are you doing!” Draco sputtered, his book falling on his chest as he grabbed Harry’s wrists, pushing back down.

“Taking. my. hoodie. back,” Harry said through gritted teeth.

He pushed up harder and Draco pulled down. The book slid to the floor with a thump. Harry climbed onto the couch, a knee between Draco’s legs. The hoodie along with Draco’s shirt rode up his chest as they struggled. Draco raised his free foot and braced it on Harry’s shoulder to shove him back and Harry furiously leaned against it. Until Draco’s foot slipped and Harry tumbled onto Draco in a heap that left them both breathless.

“Fuck,” Draco groaned, “Are you made of lead, Potter?”

Harry tried not to laugh, he really did, but Draco’s pouty frown pushed him over the edge and he started laughing so hard he had to hold onto the couch to keep from falling off.

Draco rather unsuccessfully fought down a smile, “Arsehole.”

Sitting at a small table nearby Ron groaned, “Merlin, they’re doing it again.”

Hermione smiled fondly, her chin propped on her hand, “I think it’s cute.”

“This is torture. I’m going to the library,” Ron said, shoving his parchment in his bag, “They don’t even realize, how do they not realize?”

“I’ll come with you,” Hermione smiled, twirling her wand and sending all her books and parchments neatly into her bag, “They’ll figure it out eventually.”

“And then they’ll be worse!” Ron grabbed his bag, “You know they will be!”

Hermione smiled and took Ron’s arm, “You’ll be fine, I promise.”

By Way of Spontaneity (Part 11)

Summary: On a whim, Bucky declares you to be his girlfriend to his grandma and mother. They’re eager to meet you and he asks you to pretend to be with him for just one dinner with his family. But is that really all?

Word Count: 928

Warnings: None.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

A/N: This fic keeps getting longer, I apologize. :D 

Originally posted by sincerelysaraahh


The following morning, you were roused by Bucky, who was trying to move away from you. He was trying to be as quiet as possible, you were being moved out of your comfortable position and you weren’t shy to voice your discomfort. He gave a silent laugh.

“Sorry, I gotta use the bathroom,” he explained in a whisper, pulling his body out from beneath you and putting a cushion under your head. “I’ll be right back.”

Too sleepy to argue, you hummed and smiled up at him. “Mm-‘kay,” you muttered back, cozying up to the cushion.

Bucky gave you a soft smile, bending at the waist to give your forehead a gentle kiss. Once straightening up, he headed for the bathroom, taking his phone out of his pocket after a night of not checking it.

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First Time for Everything

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Word Count: 2,400

Warnings: smut, language, hilarity

Summary: (inspired by this post by @missjackil ) Sam’s never had a blowjob, so you take it upon yourself to convince Sam to let you give him his first ever blowjob.

Send a message or leave a comment! Feedback is always appreciated!

Dean loved to brag. He bragged about everything, from the perfectly executed execution of the monster on their latest hunt to how many beers he’d outdrank his brother by. Usually the latter ended with him toppling onto one of the two beds, slurring his way into a sleep that would last for a good twelve hours. Sometimes he bragged about the blowjob he’d gotten from the pretty bar waitress, betting Sam that “he’d probably never gotten a better blowjob.”

And it was true.

Sam hadn’t gotten a better blowjob because he’d never even gotten a blowjob.

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One Foot In The Grave

First thing Keith did when he got home was scream into his pillow and flop onto his bed.
Lance had kissed him!
He hottest and most popular guy in school had actually kissed him.
“Good day?” Shiro asked from the door way.
He didn’t have his prosthetic on and looked like he had just gotten out of the shower with his hair still wet clinging to his forehead.
“Shiro am I dead?” Keith asked remaining face down.
“What?” He asked in surprise sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I think I must of died, maybe I’m passed out somewhere and it didn’t really happen.” Keith mumbled.
Shiro was starting to get worried, he had never seen his brother like this before. “Keith, buddy you need to tell me what happened.”
“Lancekissedme.” Keith said very very quietly.
“What was that?” Shiro asked sure he must of misheard him.
“L-Lance the guy everyone at school loves kissed me…”
“…”
Silence.
Keith bit his lip nervously staring down at his Spider-Man bed spread.
Shiro started laughing causing the younger boy to glare up at him. “What’s so funny!” He demanded.
“I figured you had killed someone.” Shiro answered between laughs. “Never expected you to act this way over a little old kids, anyone would think it was… wait a second.” Shiro peered at him for a second before putting his hand on his shoulders “Keith Kogane was that your first kiss?” He asked quietly, his voice and face masked in neutrality.
Keith hesitated before finally nodding.
Shiro’s grip tightened and a forced smile appeared on his face. “Really? And this random hot shot took it?” The casual tone sounded so forced that Keith found himself cringing.
“He’s not some random guy.”
“So then why have you never mentioned him before?” Shiro asked.
“Well erm… cause we never really talked and stuff.” Keith shrugged pretending not to mind when Shiro’s grip became a little painful.
“Oh.” Was all he said.
“Oh?” Keith questioned.
“Yes oh…” Shiro dropped his hand to his lap thinking for a moment. “I’ll talk to you later, I need to think over something.”
Keith watched in concern as his bother stumbled out of the room mumbling to himself.
———————————–
“Allura I kissed Keith!” Lance yelled wheeling his chair into his oldest sisters room.
She was lying on her stomach across her bed messing around on her laptop.
“Jeez Lance ever learn how to knock.” She sighed sitting up to look at him.
“No time! I kissed Keith! Keith Kogane!” He yelled.
Allura’s eyes widened “oh… my… god…”
“I know!”
“You kissed the guy you declared your rival!”
“I know!”
“The guy you’ve had a crush on for like ever!”
“I know!”
“You had your first kiss with your dream guy!”
“I KNOW!”
At this point Allura had jumped up and was kneeling in front of Lance. “Ok tell me everything!”
Lance explained how he had broken his leg and Keith helped him get home and in the spur of the moment he decided to kiss him before slamming the door in his face so he could hide behind Leo for a few hours.
Allura listened growing increasingly more excited.
“Ok I’m taking you to school tomorrow!” She decided. “Your cars in the shot anyway, and it’s not like you can walk to school. Plus I gotta make sure he’s good enough for my little bro.”
She hugged him making Lance squirm pretending not to enjoy her hugs when in fact he loved them. “Allurrrrrra.” He moaned pushing her away.
———————————–
The next morning Keith was in the kitchen having breakfast when Shiro walked down in his sleepless tank top that he only ever wore when he wanted people to notice just how ripped her was.
“I’m coming to school with you. And before you say no I’m gonna say that I don’t care what you have to say. I need to go down their anyway and this has nothing to do with this Lance boy.”
Keith wasn’t convinced but knew arguing would be pointless.
So that’s how Keith found himself stuck with his brother leaning against the bonnet of his car in the parking lot looking for anyone that fit Lance’s description.
“Shiro seriously stop.” Keith rolled his eyes as Shiro glared at yet another tall skinny tanned boy.
“Not until I meet this boy, I just want a chat.”
Keith groaned. He knew this would happen.
“Keith!”
The two whipped their heads round to see a tall woman running directly towards them.
Shiro blushed, he would know that beautiful white hair anywhere.
Allura came to a stop just short of running into the two and was smiling.
“Lance is in the office and I figured I would let you know. I’m sure the two of you have a lot to talk about.”
Keith paled slightly “whys he in the office? Is he ok?” He asked a little too quickly to sound casual.
Allura nodded waving him off with her hand “oh yes he is perfectly fine, just needed to change his class schedule so he doesn’t have to go up any stairs until his prosthetic’s repaired.”
Keith didn’t wait for anymore information and instead took off running leaving the two adults alone.
“It’s good to see you again Shiro, I heard you got back but didn’t have your number.”
Shiro swallowed “oh yeah… erm so you know Lance?”
Allura laughed “I would hope so, he is my little brother after all.”
Shiro helped whatever god was looking out for him that he didn’t end up yelling at his crushes little brother right in front of her. “Oh. I never realised.”
“Not many do, Lance was adopted after he lost his parents in the same accident that cost him his legs, it’s been hard for him. But I’m sure you understand better then anyone what losing a limb is like.
Shiro was silent. He hadn’t realised Lance was like him.
“Yeah I do.”

—————————————- Part 1: https://langsty-mc-langstface.tumblr.com/post/160205940560/one-foot-in-the-grave
A Little Something About The Tangy and The Tart

I cannot believe it has been so long since I posted and I’m sorry, truly, that it’s taken me forever and a day to get my ass in gear. But due to recent events, I felt inspired to write something and I’m actually really, really happy with how this turned out!

Also, I owe a huge thank you to @permanentcross for giving me advice and reassuring me this wasn’t crap and to @canistay-haz for being her wonderful, loving self and telling me I don’t suck. You both are so, so lovely and I’m lucky that I can ask you for advice when I’m not confident in my writing.

That being said, enjoy!

Warning: NSFW

Masterlist


Normally, Saturday mornings would be reserved for sleeping in, lazy kisses, and barely audible gasps filling your ears. Today however, you and Harry had to be somewhat functioning adults. You were having one last get together with Harry’s closest friends and family before his life was sent into the spotlight for who knows how long, and he didn’t get to be as free and open with his time as he had been. 

You woke up about half an hour after Harry did, knowing you had things to do and people to see but you were having none of it. All you could think about was the slight yet very-much-still-there tingling sensation between your legs thanks to yours and Harry’s late night rendezvous. You smiled to yourself, rolling over and letting your face collide into Harry’s pillow, inhaling his lingering scent that made you want him all over again… 

You made your way downstairs to your boyfriend, legs bare and torso covered in his ridiculously baggy pink shirt that was littered with the white polka dots, your rear just barely peeking out at the bottom hem. Harry was sporting only a pair of grey joggers that hung much too low on his hips, not that you were complaining. 

“Morning, sunshine.” You wrapped your arms around his waist, peppering his back with tiny pecks.

“G’morning, poppet. Sleep okay?” Every morning after, without fail, he asks how you slept. He asks because he knows when you’re both in the heat of the moment, sex isn’t gentle. Not that it’s animalistic, but you and Harry like what you like and making sure you’re comfortable and properly taken care of after is an essential part of his aftercare routine; he’ll be damned if he doesn’t take care of you and pamper any part that might be slightly bruised or extra loved on. He does love a routine after all…

“Mhm,” you purr into his back, pecking his skin once more before he spins around in your grasp, your arms falling to your sides while he places one hand on your cheek and encloses your mouth with his.

“Good,” he smiles down at you, pecking your cheek before turning back to the countertop where you can see he’s been preparing a dessert for the get together later that night. 

“Whatcha makin’?” you ask, hopping upon the countertop, legs swinging back and forth while eyeing the bowl of plain raspberries and the graham cracker crust that was still sitting in the tart pan Harry insisted he needed.

“How does a raspberry tart for tonight sound? Bought the pan, figured there was no use in letting it sit in the cupboard.”

You couldn’t help but stifle a giggle. There was nothing comical about the dessert in and of itself, but you were feeling some type of way this morning and you couldn’t help but think of it in a provocative way.

Harry rolled his eyes, trying not to grin, “Why is that funny?”

You just giggled again and reached to kiss him on the cheek, “Maybe I wanna be your little raspberry tart. I already have the perfect shirt on.” Although you’d been sitting on the countertop for a good minute already, Harry had just noticed how his shirt had ridden up your thighs and he swallowed hard, also taking in how you had only the bottom two buttons fastened and there was little, if anything, left to the imagination. What Harry didn’t know was that you didn’t have anything covering the part of you that wanted him the most; he figured you’d just thrown on something skimpy just to torture him but no, you were completely bare, apart from the bottom of the hem under your bum, and sitting on your boyfriend’s counter. Harry didn’t have a prayer. 

You smirked at him cheekily and even though you’d had him not even eight hours before, he could tell you still had an appetite for something else, something that filled you in a different way. 

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