hey Pasi, would you have any advice to give to someone who's struggling to figure out whether they're cis or nb/what to do when they figure it out? thanks in advance
There’s another post fermenting in my drafts, a reply to someone else’s question that goes more into detail about how everything happened with me, but the long and short of it, if you want advice…
Try it out.
If there are people in your close environment you feel comfortable enough talking to about these things, ask them to switch pronouns. Post about your thoughts and feelings re: gender. Dip your toe into the NB community. You’ll find out soon enough if it’s for you or not.
Because, well, in the end it’s not really about what you are or aren’t, but about what feels best for you. Honestly, I still don’t know if I’m trans or cis, if I really have the “right” to call myself non-binary (and the imposter-syndrome re:transness is a whoooole other can o’ worms I’m not gonna go into here) but I do know that generally speaking, hearing myself referred to as they or them makes me feel comfy, and hearing she or her gives me a little twinge of unease. And that, for the moment, is enough for me.
I suppose what I mean to say is: there are no obligations. You don’t have to decide black-and-white what gender you are, and if you do decide there’s no set of rules or behaviours you have to follow. What it always comes down to, for me, is: try it out. If it works for you, stick with it; if it doesn’t, drop it and go back. There’s no shame or failure in either.
killing stalking and captive prince are the kind of things you can’t really….leave a patient private message to someone about. they’re not things where the bad in them is subtle. they’re not something people can say “i didn’t know” about. they’re blatantly bigoted and disgusting and you shouldn’t be giving second chances or sending careful messages to the people that actively consume and/or produce content about them. end. of. story.
there’s something about even’s little nod in this scene
because even knows. he’s not oblivious, he notices the way isak reacts to his presence, to him. he’s been noticing him for weeks, weeks before they first met. he saw the way isak was when he came over to his place the previous week, he saw the look in his eyes, the light in his eyes, he saw the way he smiled and laughed, he noticed the changes in his voice. he probably memorized his facial expressions and the things he said last friday. kept replaying them in his mind every single day, in class, before going to bed, when he was with other people
earlier in that episode, when he came to give isak his snapback, in a matter of seconds, he understood that isak hadn’t told his friends he had gone to his place, he understood that he didn’t want them to know. because he sees and understands. he remembered the cardamom on the cheese toasties five weeks later, how they were sitting on the floor of his room as they ate them, he remembered isak saying he had a drop of water in his throat, he remembered isak talking about parallel universes. because he pays such close attention to isak and the way he looks and moves and speaks and all the things he says
do you think that even, who saw this boy on the first day of school, who was probably looking forward to seeing him even when it was just at school, in public, in rooms and hallways with other students, would not notice how isak was acting? notice the way he’s been looking at him the moment he showed up at his place for the pregame? the way he starred at him when he kissed sonja and looked at him straight in the eyes? how tensed he was as he told him about sonja and how they’d been together for years? the intonation of his voice as he said his okay’s (been together since we were 15. okay. can’t dump her. okay). do you think that even who’s been desperately trying to spend time alone with this boy he was falling for would not notice the smile that spread all over isak’s face when he realized that even was messing with him, the smile he was trying to stop it, in vain? do you think he would not sense his attraction to him? the vulnerability?
of course even notices. and since he came to see isak in his kitchen, he’s only been kidding, pretending not to be serious. but with that little nod, he grows more serious. with that little nod, it’s like he’s saying i see you, i see it, i’ve seen you for a while. it’s reassuring. it’s okay. it’s understanding. i know, isak. i know. me too
Honestly it’s so dumb to say to a mentally ill person that they shouldn’t label themselves like when someone tells you they have cancer you’re not going to be like “you shouldn’t label yourself” or such a thing, both are legitimate illnesses so shut up maybe???
Bruce Wayne is a total Batman fanboy. He has a made to life
replica of his favorite Batmobile in his garage and a room set off to the side
with all the Batman memorabilia he’s collected over the years. He’s known for
spending crazy amounts of money at auctions for Batman stuff and orders his own
versions of everything.
No one even bats an eye when he puts in a huge order for
batarangs. And he’s so happy about it because when he’d first started out as
Batman getting supplies had been the worst part of the job. He’d had a million
hoops he had to go through to keep his secret identity a secret.
he’d hated it when people became Batman obsessed, but after he got caught with
a Batarang in his pocket at a charity event he decided to go with the fanboy
persona. And it worked.
His children think it’s hilarious and buy him all kinds of
weird Batman merchandise. Like the crappily painted Batman figures shipped from
China, Batman soap, the plastic masks every store sells, and their personal
favorite the pajamas that say “My Batcave is my happy place”