(this is in response to the anons but is ok to reblog)
the idea that butch women spend their lives preying on women is so fucking fresh to me when so many butch women I know live in fear. so many butch women I know are traumatized. and have not only been harassed and assaulted, physically or emotionally, by men, but also have been scapegoated, demonized, and hated openly by straight women.
we are portrayed in tv shows and movies as grotesque and twisted and predatory, and that shit stays in the subconscious of straight people who then panic when they see us when we’re just trying to live our damn lives. it’s exhausting to have that much vitriol thrown at you just for trying to breathe. not wearing makeup, wearing androgynous clothes, that’s shit I do just to breathe because of how male violence and misogyny have left scars on my concept of myself.
there was a period of time when I couldn’t change out in the open in the locker room in middle school, when I wasn’t even visibly gnc yet, because straight girls, who had grown up seeing twisted portrayals of lesbians in the media, decided to try and get me thrown out of school for “sexual harassment” that I never committed. I’d barely even talked to these girls. afterwards I literally had a panic attack every time I formed a new friendship with a girl because I was worried about coming off as creepy just for wanting friends.
you can’t come lecture that butches as creepy dudebros isn’t a stereotype when I can only count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen a butch women on screen who wasn’t a creep, and yet I’ve never met any butch like that irl, and as I’ve said I’ve met more of us who are afraid of receiving violence than who would ever dare to try and commit it. there’s far, far more documentation of butch women being targeted, assaulted, killed even, throughout history, than there is documentation of butch women perpetuating violence. the strongest paper trail I’ve seen in favor of butches being “creeps” is books/tv shows written by straight men who have an irrational rage / fetishizing anger against lesbian women. so I guess if you wanna trust straight men to write our narratives go ahead.
you’ve had a butch or gender nonconforming woman be rude to you or harass you IRL? I’m genuinely sorry, that person can choke. of course individuals can act like creeps, so there are butch women who are creeps. but don’t act like it’s a systemic deal, or that all of us fit your charicature of us, because if you’re gonna play that game, trust me, I can counter thoroughly with accounts of feminine women, mostly straight women, being predatory and abusive and creepy towards me for being gnc / a dyke. I have metaphorical file folders outpouring with incidents of them sexualizing me (even as a child), scapegoating me, making up lies and slander to get me in trouble, sexually harassing me and then telling me they know I secretly liked it, invading my boundaries, etc.
I learned from feminine women, again mostly straight women, that my face wasn’t acceptable without makeup. that if I didn’t wanna be called an ugly dyke I could never ever talk about wanting to have sex with a woman, and I would have to be perfectly feminine. I was taunted about how gross gay sex was by women far older than me before I’d ever had sex. THAT was predatory. and even after all that, you still don’t see me coming out here with these universal statements of “feminine women are predators and shouldn’t be trusted”. so don’t bother going down that road with me about butches.