I've dated this kid for a long time. I love him, but he has some 'intense' behaviors. He recently yelled at me in public and humiliated me (in a couple of ways) and it just sorta came out that I think maybe we should break up. I'm a mess and I miss him a lot because when things are good, things are phenomenal! All I want to do is take it back, but all of my friends are concerned and a part of me knows it's not a good idea. What should I do?
I think your gut instinct is telling you its a bad idea and you should follow that instinct. most importantly because it is not normal healthy behaviour to yell and publicly humiliate your partner; that’s a big red flag for abuse. if the other ‘intense’ behaviours he has are similar to this; using intimidating behaviours like yelling, physical force like slamming a wall or violent gesticulating, guilt-tripping, emotional manipulation - basically behaviours that make you feel wary or intimidated or scared, then they’re all forms of abuse or signs of worse abuse to come. its “controlling behaviour” because it silences you or degrades you through intimidation or public humiliation.
its important to be on the look out for those behaviours because they do often get much worse, and you’ll be driven to a point where you feel like you deserve to be treated poorly because this slow build up of systemic abuse erodes your sense of self and your self-esteem. I’m not trying to be alarmist, but just be aware of these signs before you make a decision on whether to stay with him or leave. if you want more information for signs of abuse in relationships here is a good list that might help you recognise behaviours in your partner that you’ve previously described as ‘intense’:
and I know its difficult to leave when you feel you still love him and that when things are good, they’re spectacular. but the fucked up thing is, is that many people have great loving memories of their abusers. but those good parts dont erase the unhealthy, scary and abusive elements however and they wont stop those behaviours. its actually quite common to have an incredibly dreamy puppy-love relationship with an abuser in-between their abusive behaviours, it’s called the ‘honeymoon period’ and its an awful cycle designed to keep the abused person hooked in the relationship. I mean, fuck, I still have good memories with my former abuser and I even find myself missing them at times.
but the pain of missing them is so much more preferable to the pain of being with someone who doesn’t treat you with love and respect and who makes you feel humiliated, degraded or unsafe.
Currently not going to answer asks for a bit. Just chilling rn buuut..
A lot of astrologers make posts about each placement using music and I think that’s a cool idea! But since I’m such a hood rat, I wanted to make them using Hip Hop/Rap and maybe TRAP/DRILL MUSIC IF YA ARE DOWN AND DIRTY LIKE THAT 😭 I might add some R&B for the Venus signs hmm 🤔
I don’t know if many people will like it because it seems to me that a lot of you guys are into The 1975 or Lana Del Rey or umm Marina and the Diamonds (which I adore obvs). ❤️ Simple, beautiful music like that.
But I don’t know.. I feel like I eventually will, but I take into consideration what you guys want.
Maybe it’s because I like drawing complicated clothing, or maybe it’s because @apolleh’s contemptuous, looking-down-on-his-enemies look was completely unintentional, but I probably had the most fun with this one. :D Sorry yours is the only one with a single picture, by the way. The costumes, despite how fun they were to draw, nearly killed me. You’re a war monk, because of that ask you received a while back. Turns out war cleric is female exclusive and war monk is its counterpart. :) Osomatsu’s costume here is probably my favourite out of all of his outfits, so I hope I did it justice and that you liked it!!
Do you have any tips on how to motivate myself when I'm home sick from school? I missed today and I'm missing tomorrow but I have a lot of work and midterms in a week which is stressing me out, especially because I feel bad for doing hardly any work today 😬
hi anon! <3 honestly in my opinion the best way to feel better about this is to get better quickly — if you feel up to do some work, do it, but don’t go too far or u might feel sick again ;;__;;
i know when i’m sick and trying to get stuff done i like to do some light reading, or flip through flashcards, nothing too extensive~
What do you know about me that I don’t know about myself? It can be a negative thing. I’m a grown-up.
You should not cover up your mole. You should have refused to do it in the beginning, and you should refuse now. It’s a Chris Carter thing. I know it’s not vanity for you. He deemed your face not big enough for the mole. And so for seven years, you’ve put makeup on this mole. It looks like you have a boogie. For both Scully and Gillian, the mole is fine. Oh – and it’s a beauty mark. Don’t call it a mole. It doesn’t have hair growing out of it, does it?
You don’t like it when I ask you questions, do you?
hello I need advice? so I really like this guy and we share a lot of awkward glances and stuff and we slow danced together at the most recent school dance thing and like all my friends really think he likes me but I've never really had good experiences with guys and idk I just need to know what I should do (plus he's super popular and I'm super not)
Aw, if he slow-danced with you maybe it means he likes you back!! I usually suggest to people to gradually increase your contact/communication with the person and be their good friend first, before trying to pursue any kind of romantic relationship. So yeah just try to be more of his friend first, and if he likes you back, hopefully something will organically blossom! Good luck :)
okay, so i have a mtf trans friend. i constantly feel like we can find a better name for her than "frankie" because i find that name very masculine. im constantly sticking up for her and buying her things and teaching her how to have a feminine voice and helping her with excercise and everything in between, so i feel like helping with a name is also what i should do. any thoughts?
If she’s comfortable with the name Frankie, you shouldn’t try to push her into changing it. Her feelings about her name are what’s most important, not other people’s.
But you could perhaps let her know that if she does want to change her name, you’d be happy to help in whatever way you could.
Hi, I know you've been getting lots of asks right now, but i just wanted to say that you should do whatever it is that will ultimately make you happy. I think you are a very talented artist and you've inspired me and many others to work to better ourselves, but that doesnt mean you have to stay to please others. Whatever you choose to do i will fully support because in the end your happiness and contentment with your work and your overall state of mind is what is most important.
thank you ive been in quite a rut with art lately and maybe im just an awful person that gets put down by other’s joy? i dont know- im a mess but really sorry for spamming people i lost a few followers already with how much im whining! :’D
amerraka said: I want to do something I want to write about–“write what you know” I have no interest in being or writing about a janitor etc. Why not have a job you want to write about and get experience and knowledge? The problem is I am interested in spies and international relations. I have a poli sci degree but no experience. How do I get there if at all? Im also interested in truth, justice, freedom. Fight for it in real life and in writing. Write your passion=better product
I wanted to respond to this comment from one of my posts, because I think it’s super important…
@amerraka, you’re conflating “write what you know” with “write what you have personally experienced.” That’s a mistake. “Write what you know” is only good advice in that you should be knowledgeable about the subjects you write about. But knowledge doesn’t have to come from experience–knowledge can come from research, too. It can come from: books, movies and TV shows, articles, blog posts, reference materials, interviews, etc. If you want to write spies and international relations, research those things and you can write about them regardless of what you do for a living. Most writers don’t actually have jobs that relate to what they write about. They research those things. You can do that, too. :)
Now, that’s not to say that you can’t get into a field that will give you experience about the things you want to write about. If you’re passionate about those things, you should pursue that career anyway. However, I wouldn’t suggest pursuing a career field just because you want to write about it. That’s what you want to write about right now–what about in five years? Or ten years? Or twenty years? Interests change, and what you want to write about will probably change, too.
——————————————————————— The WQA inbox is closed for a few days while I catch up on questions. If you have a question in the meantime, please see the master list or search the tags on the main site. :) <3
Steve finds out your personal notebooks are full of his body close-ups
-Cap, Wait! I could, I could explain–Ah!
Steve uses one arm to lift you up and carry you on his shoulder like carry a bag of potatoes.
-Steve! What are you doing?! Wh–Where are we going?
Steve speaks with a certain tone, like it’s a natural and indubitable thing to carry his teammate into his room. It’s weird. Especially under the circumstance that he don’t know she have a huge crush on him, but, well, he should figured it out when he saw the pictures.
-Since you’re such a good photographer, I think I should let you have better chance to take those pictures.
You blush. Maybe it’s a good thing that Steve discovered your little secret.
So, on the powering sigils with blood, would a tattoo be like that? If so, what kinds of things would work best?
If you’re getting a sigil tattoo it should be something you know you’re going to want around forever. I wouldn’t really worry about how you’re going to charge it because there are so many ways to do that, physical exercise, intense emotions, showers, sun bathing, etc. So in that case I’d worry more about picking a sigil that you like rather than what the charging method is.
Keith and Lance lost on some weird planet alone bc of X reasons and Lance has been building up some sad stuff bc he really feels useless and
replaceable and they really can’t get along and Keith always do all the good things and is the best and Shiro counts on him, fuck, everyone does and why can’t he proves his own worth?
And then while arguing with Keith again bc he did something wrong by accident and Keith is so frustrated with the situation Lance just… explodes.
And he’s saying all the things he’s been keeping inside “IT’S BECAUSE I’M USELESS OK? I CAN’T DO ANY GOOD EVEN WHEN I TRY AND I DON?T EVEN KNOW IF THIS IS REALLY WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING? I AM REPLACEABLE, I KNOW I AM OK, I’M JUST A CARGO PILOT, I KNOW I’M JUST A STUPID KID WITH NO REAL TALENT AND A 7th WHEEL ON MISSIONs WITH NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF EVEN WHEN I PRETEND I DO.
I JUST WANT TO HELP BUT I CAN’T.
And Keith is so confuse bc he really can’t understand where all of this is coming from, he really can’t bc Lance is never like this, why? and Lance is just so broken right now and omg what happened? for how long have been going on? why no one knew? why no one noticed?
Lance just apologize and says he needs some time alone and he’ll be super ready for whatever task they have in a moment and Era broma Keith, I know I’m too cool to feel like this, just joking hahaha
so, I've been thinking of doing writing commissions but I don't know how much to charge people? I was thinking like. Maybe three or five cents a word? But I'm not too sure. What would you think is a good price?
Depends on the fandom, depends if you have previously published stuff & an audience, some magazines pay $0.10 a word some pay $0.05 and some pay $25 straight no matter the length
In short, you should charge [A LOUD TRUCK ROARS BY, OBSCURING MY WORDS]
Do you think that Gundam never will try to swim again souda?
Well…I don’t know if I should tell you but…
*at night, walking toward Gundham’s room* This guy…He has been acting strangely since that day…*knocks on the door* Oi, Hamster-chan, opens the door!
No answer? Maybe he is sleeping already? *opens the door* Huh? Why is the window open? *walks toward the window and sees a silhouette at the beach*
Don’t tell me…That idiot ! *jumps by the window and runs toward the beach* Oi !! Gundham !! What do you think you are doing?!!
What?! *in his swimming suit*
You..Are you spying on my secret training?!
So you really are training in secret !! Do you know how dangerous it is? You don’t know how to swim ! What will you do if the same thing as last time happens again?!
A secret training isn’t worth anything without any danger.
There is no need for it to be dangerous ! Let’s go back already !!
I refuse !
I am the Supreme Overlord of Ice. I can not accept to be defeated by such a thing. I must learn this obscure art even if it cost me my life ! I will not allow myself to be powerless again…!
Fine, I get it. *starts taking off his clothes*
Y-You fool, what are you doing?!
You are not going to give up aren’t you? Then I’m going to teach you ! And you are forbidden to train again without me or someone else ! You may want to learn quickly this “secret art” but putting your life in danger isn’t the solution, understood?!