i know this is uninteresting

Confession - Peter Parker

request -  hey! I love your blog and the writing’s are great and super fluffy and so cute AHHH. Could you please write a fic in which peter and the reader have been friends for a long time and when they finally go to Liz;s party peter confesses his feelings for the reader and could you make it super fluffy? THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RUNNING THIS BLOG!

a/n - i’m so sorry if this fic seems rushed i went back and forth so many times with different ideas and hopefully it turned out okay :) thank you so much for all the love, don’t forget to request a peter parker/spider-man fic if you’d like!

The bass of the speakers boomed around the house as I poured some soda for Michelle and I. The continuous chatter of teenagers was the only sound I could hear from the music, almost running around the kitchen to collect snacks. I gathered a plate and was ready to share with Michelle, but she seemed to have a piece of toast in her hand, spreading butter on it.

“Where’d you find that?” I asked, eating a pretzel.

“Second cabinet from the left.” She answered, turning to me. “Want a bite?”

“No thanks.” I took a step back, chuckling. She shrugged and continued to eat the bread, taking a sip of her soda. We both continued to talk with one another until we heard Flash’s voice echo off the walls.

“When I say Penis, you say Parker!” He yelled into the microphone, attempting to start the mediocre chant that got really old after five minutes. But, in an unfortunate way, it let me know that Peter arrived. I headed to the door to look for him, catching him in a heartbeat.

Keep reading

I’m going to hit you up with some playlists:

The Rowdy 3
for when you need some cathartic chaos (X)
- Brianstorm - The Arctic Monkeys
- Come on Down - Zeal & Ardor
- Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
- Sixteen Saltines - Jack White
- Firestarter - The Prodigy
- It’s getting boring by the sea - Blood Red Boots

Dirk Gently
everything’s sunny when you have tacky pop to listen to (X)
- Grace Kelly - Mika
- Wake me up before you go go - Wham
- Girl’s just wanna have fun - Cyndi Lauper
- Just my type - saint motel
- Material Girl - Madonna

Todd Brotzman
my music taste is vastly superior to yours (X)
- Where is my Mind - The Pixies
- Creep - Radiohead
- How soon is now - The Smiths
- I wanna be adored - The Stone Roses
- Close to me - The Cure

Amanda Brotzman
Punk isn’t dead (X)
- zombie - The Cranberries
- Spellbound - Siouxsie and the Banshees
- Add it Up - Violent Femmes
- Anarchy in the UK - The Sex Pistols
- London Calling - The Clash
- Run Run Run - The Velvet underground

Overly Analytical Problem #21
  • Person: It might be funny but I categorize my friends. You know... best friend, close friends, just friends, acquaintance friends... How about you?
  • What We Think: I have interesting psychological test subjects, less interesting psychological test subjects, uninteresting people who I just know it's socially polite to say "hi" to, and a few close friends to help me analyze the data...
  • What We Say: Yeah... I have something like that...
shit that happened at hamilton according to angie

act one

• dUN DA DA DA DUN DUN DUN EEEAAAUUUOUUU
• everyone clapped for SO LONG when anthony enters like damn
• brandon SLAYED as burr tonight
• anthony had SO MUCH ENERGY like SHIT SON this boy was TURNT
• i didn’t know just how uninterested burr is during my shot he liTERALLY READS A BOOK IN THE CORNER BAHAHAHAHAHAH
• brrRRRRAAHH brrRRRRAAHH
• thayne has a booty???
• my shot choreography is LIT AF
• there’s a cool transition between my shot and story of tonight and i really appreciate it
• oNE LAST ROUND GENTS
• okay WOW i understand why everyone ships lams so much now
• john and alex totally fucked that night and no one can convince me otherwise like even later during farmer refuted john be walkin funny boi got laaaaaaid
• wERK
• at first when peggy enters she looks excited then she realize where she is and imMEDIATELY LOOKS SO DONE BAHAHAHAHAHAH
• eliza is literally just dragging peggy behind her the whole time wtf
• eVeRyOnE??? is here during this song i did NOT expect that
• hEED NOT THE R-
• LITERALLY poor sam tho he came out to have a good time and got so attacked rn
• the rest of the hamilsquad has to distract burr so he can’t stop alex and i LOVE THAT DETAIL
• aMERICA, ITS NOT ME ITS YOU
• the choreography for you’ll be back is not what i expected AT ALL and it’s EVEN BETTER
• the liGHTING HERE DAMN
• rip ensemble member
• hErE cOmEs ThE gEnErAl
• the liGHTING HERE DAMN (reprise)
• no wonder washington is so petty BURR JUST SHOWED UP UNANNOUNCED IN HIS TENT AND ASKED FOR A JOB
• “close the door on ur way out” OHHHHHHHH
• alternatively: “close the door on ur way out” “we’re in a tent sir”
• that end choreography looks hard damn
• LADIEEEEEEEEEEES
• cARLEIGH HEY
• hEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY
• the lanterns are cool
• ANTHONY DABBED DURING HELPLESS
• MY HEART
• flower girl hercules mulligan is my spirit animal
• what if #2830404827: what if hamilton was a harem anime
• hAH
• salty unrequited romance song (feat. sisterly bonds and shit)
• wOAH THE REWIND CHOREOGRAPHY IS JUST HOLY S H I T
• tHIS IS FUCKING AMAZING THO LIKE THE ANGELICA POV DAMN
• bUT NOW SHELL NEVER BE SATISFIED
• tHERES HOPE FOR OUR ASS AFTER ALL
• the “you are the worst burr” line is even funnier live bAHAHAHAHAHAH
• why do i feel like theodosia isn’t real like that story is pretty fishy to me i mean a pretty girl?? married to a British officer?? who we never see ever?? *puts on skepticals*
• wAIT FOR IT (that cheeseburger i ordered an hour ago, where the fuck is it??)
• wait for it is such a small number live AS IT SHOULD BE IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE
• PREACHA PREACHA PREACHA
• TEACH YA TEACH YA TEACH YA
• gENIUS
• rESPECT
• everyone hates that guy vol. 1
• cHICKAPLAO
• CHARLES LEE ™
• yES KICK HIS ASS JOHN
• counting to ten with increasing energy and homoeroticism ™
• the sexual tension between john and charles in this is fucking INSANE
• WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS
• THIS IS LIKE HAMILTON’S VERSION OF “I DONT DANCE” FROM FUCKING HSM2
• of course john shoots him he’s fucking amazing
• LEE FLAT OUT YELPS WHEN HE GETS SHOT AND JUST FLOPS ON THE FLOOR AHAHAHAHAH
• eVERYBODY DO THE FLOP
• daddy issues vol.1
• sOn
• dOnT cAlL mE sOn
• eliza sings about support and that’s about it
• bUNS and cHIPS and sEVERAL TYPES OF DIPS
• agsgdhshagsfadagshdgLAFAYETTE
• jk I can rap the whole thing
• bish u thot
• sICK JUMPS
• GET YER RIGHT HAND MAN BACK
• wait at least think about the letter you sending first tho
• i think you misspelled “right” dude
• daddy issues resolved song
• history has its eyeeeeeees ooooon-wait we have to fight a war fuck
• lets go win ourselves a war bitches
• monsieur hamilton MONSIEUR L A F A Y E T T E
• heh
• the CHOREOGRAPHY
• everyone claps at the end of the dance sequence AS THEY SHOULD
• that’s a big ass flag u sure that’s a handkerchief lafayette?
• dId YoU mIsS mE vol.1
• when he says “im so blue” he stamps his foot and the spotlight he’s in changes from red to blue bAHAHAHAHAH
• WELL GUESS WHAT?? YOU CANT GOVERN FOR SHIT AHAHAHAHHA
• “bye felicia” - king george III
• dear theodoge what 2 say 2 u
• the CHAIRS IN FRONT OF THEM MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THEYRE STANDING OVER CRIBS
• uH OH
• JOHN
• JOHN NO
• J O H N
• having to watch the rest of the hamilsquad reading the letter in the back does NOT MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER
• [through tears from last song] a-a…after the war i went back to n-new york
• NNNNNONSTOP
• this whole songs choreography is just WOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWWOOW
• eVERYONE IS HERE WOAH


~intermission~

• rUN TO THE BATHROOMS
• pICK UP THE HAMILTINI
• bUY A TSHIRT
• rUN BACK


act two

• [JAZZ HANDS]
• oh damn the slaves are here
• S A L L Y H E M I N G S I S H E R E
• thomas we are engaged.

• what
• seth is having WAYYYYYYY too much fun
• gonna just prance around here
• ITS THE RAP BATTLE
• THEY HAVE MICROPHONES
• JEFF DROPS THE MIC AND MADISON CATCHES IT BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
• cabinet audience is unamused
• [PRANCES WILDLY] WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS YOU DO IN MONTICELLO
• i love that tjeffs is totally chill until alex insults mads and he immediately just is like NO ONE INSULTS MY BOYFRIEND
• exCUSE ME?!?????
• “that’s an order from your comman-i mean president”
• UN DEUX TROIS
• PHILIP MY BABY
• CAN YOU NOT DIE JUST THIS ONE SHOW
• PLS
• ANTHONY WENT BALLISTIC WHEN HE SAID CINQ LIKE HE SUDDENLY WAS LIKE “un deux trois catre CIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINQ”
• oh please angelica your comma flirting is nothing compared to the shit alex and john exchanged
• my love interests are either upstate or dead therefore i shall have an affair and immediately regret it
• NOOOOOOO SIRRRR
• i like the lampposts they look nice
• I NEED TO BE AT THAT DINNER PARTY
• alex still looks shook from his affair at the beginning of room where it happens lmao
• PREVIOUSLY CLOSED, BROS
• OSHIT THAT TABLECLOTH JUST
• WOA
• burr does some shit vol.1
• “daddys gonna find out any minute” [velociraptor screeching in background] “…..im sure he already knows”
• BURR BYE 👋
• ….france
• DADDYS CALLING
• salt squad unite
• I LOVE THAT BURR JUST POPS UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND JEFF LOOKS SO SHOOK WHEN HE STARTS RANDOMLY SINGING
• wHICH I WROTE
• i dIDNT KNOW HE WASNT ONSTAGE UNTIL THAT LINE
• bAHAHAHAHHAHA
• daddy issues vol.2
• im sorry but fucking what
• shut up and have a drink
• ALEX TAKES MULTIPLE SHOTS BEFORE WRITING THE ADDRESS AAHAHHAHAAHHA SAMEEEEEEEEE
• THAYNE IS WEARING A FANCY HAT
• [WEEPS] GEORGE WASHINGTONS GOING HOME
• dId YoU mIsS mE vol.2
• JOHN ADAMS FFFFFFFFFFF
• GEORGE STAYS ON AND MIMICS BURR AHAHHAHAHAH
• SIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER
• AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
• they all enter one by one and you can just see alex get more and more stressed out with each one that comes in
• IM GONNA JUST REVEAL MY AFFAIR FOR NO GOOD REASON TO MY ENEMIES WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG
• OH NO THAT WASNT A GOOD IDEA I NEED TO TELL THE WORLD FIRST
• OH NO THAT WASNT A GOOD IDEA EITHER FUCK
• oF COURSE SHES NOT HERE FOR YOU NUMBNUTS
• [is lowkey salty about congratulations not existing]
• the song sounds so serious on the album but the choreography makes it SO FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAHAH
• GEORGE IS HERE
• HOLY SHIT THERES ACTUAL FIRE IN BURN
• SHIT SON
• oh no • OH NO • O H N O
• [CRIES FOREVER]
• [CRIES SOME MORE]
• [DIES]
wait there’s an election fuck
• vOTE BURR BITCHES
• hE DIDNT VOTE BURR BITCHES
• OH NO
• O H N O
• THIS IS WHY YOU DONT THROW AWAY YOUR SHOT

  • Peebee: You're very understanding. And attractive!
  • Scott, a gay: Unfortunate

okay, psa really quickly, we as a community kind of need to stop being incredibly hypocritical about media that has our representation. like this post made me really think,, it’s like the incredibly popular mostly straight viewership tv shows that can get away with a ton of bad shit bc of it’s incredibly large viewership, but the shows in our community, like the bold type and wynonna earp, really don’t have huge numbers and when we do this thing where we scrutinize every little detail of the show and start talking about how we are betrayed, etc. when one of the characters that represents us cheats, etc. and then people stop supporting the show as a whole, that kind of makes a huge impact. 

i’m not saying that we should settle but most of the stuff that they do in shows is just to create angst because if the relationship is fluffy and happy-go-lucky the whole time it literally becomes uninteresting for people to watch. and i know you’re thinking, “Well I wouldn’t be sad seeing a ton of fluff on my screen every week”, and i feel that, but also tv shows are dramatic bitches and have plot and shit and they take us down twists and turns,, like it realistically just doesn’t stay fluffy all the time. they don’t even do that with straight couples on drama shows,,, like they’re always breaking up n shit and it’s just bc drama tv shows want drama like that’s just what they do… 

if we get livid about every little thing we’re gonna round up every show that dares to represent us into the ground and then we’ll have 0 shows that represent us and will be willing to in the future. like take shit with a grain of salt, okay? if it’s REALLY offensive, DROP IT, like when lexa died after the creators telling us for months she’ll be alright? THAT is really fucking bad and terrible and deserves dropping bc it’s incredible mistrust, but i mean? like waverly kissing another girl? it’s literally… not worth driving another show that represents us into the ground bc of it. 

and like i read this post about how this bitch hated orphan black to death bc delphine and cosima weren’t together in season 3? like, really bitch? really? have you fuckin seen that show they all clones running for their got damn life every fuckin second they boutta have freaky shit done to them in their sleep and all dat like of course their lives and relationships are gonna be . A LITTLE COMPLICATED. a little ROCKY.. oh my god like. i’m done now just please if you’re gonna drop a show they better have actually fuckin messed up bc if i hear y’all whining about angst one more time and start dropping shit bc of it i’m gonna fight y’all.

like. if y’all literally kill my show the bold type that has a muslim WLW that explained ON SCREEN why she wears the hijab and was also shown PRAYING on screen (which like. ISN’T SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS ON AMERICAN TV.) just because of some gay angst (or if my little idiots end up breaking up for one episode down the road for some stupid ass drama reason) i will literally get a mother fucking pitchfork and hunt y’all down my girl adena is breaking borders and i WON’T let you guys kill it

Brotherly Approval

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes X Reader

Requested: No

A/N: This is just a fun little idea I thought of and I like how it turned out! It’s a little different, the reader interacts a little more with Mycroft than Sherlock but it’ll (hopefully) make sense if you read it. I hope you enjoy!

*****

You want to meet her?” Sherlock scoffs, rolling his eyes as his brother sighed, crossing his arms firmly, glaring at his brother who was curled up in his chair. “I’m rather shocked Mycroft.”

“Well, yes I would. Think of it as brotherly approval. To be quite honest, brother dear, I never would’ve imagined in a hundred years that you would be able to win someone’s heart, let alone get yourself a significant other.” Mycroft smirks, sipping his cup of tea. “Besides, I’d like to make sure you’re not just making this up in your head. Or, for all I know you could be dating a rather uninteresting and ignorant girl, I mean she did fall for you after all.”

“Don’t speak of (Y/N) that way-” Sherlock snaps as Mycroft’s eyes widen teasingly.

“Ah, so the imaginary girlfriend has a name.”

“She is a beautiful and intelligent girl. And for your information, she is very much a reality. She’s perfect.” Sherlock says completely ignoring Mycroft’s comments, smiling cheekily. It was Mycroft’s turn to roll his eyes. Sibling rivalry, annoying and a pain in the arse but well-meant and friendly all the way.

“I’ll meet her one day.”

“And for your ego’s sake, I hope that day doesn’t come anytime soon.”

*****

Mycroft stood in the relatively empty tube, rocking gently from side to side as the train moved underneath the busy streets of London.
He was off to visit Sherlock for a very important matter and also to make sure he hadn’t blown off his face and decided that he wanted to travel like the little people for a change. Experience the wonders of cheap smelling leather seats and crowded transportations. It sucked. He should’ve taken his private car.

He looked around the compartment and his eyes fell on a girl who looked about Sherlock’s age. He examined her discreetly out of the corner of his eye, a move he had mastered since youth.

She’s pretty, he thought.

“I have a boyfriend.” the girl says suddenly, catching Mycroft completely off guard.

He blinks and clears his throat, “Excuse me?”

The girl laughs and smiles. Mycroft could see her eyes burning brightly with intellect.

“Oh, I noticed you were analyzing me, and don’t get me wrong I’m flattered but I’m already taken,” she says with a wink. Mycroft flushed from embarrassment and mentally scolded himself. How could he have possibly let himself be so careless? He had been confident that he was the best at discretion. However, for some reason he couldn’t deduce anything about the girl, she was a blank slate.

“I’m sorry, I’m not exactly interested. It’s just what I do subconsciously, it’s my second nature.” he explains, and the girl nods, still sporting a cheeky smile.

“I understand, my boyfriend is the exact same way…” she recalls, trailing off while glancing momentarily at Mycroft’s umbrella that was tucked snugly under his arm. “You don’t take the tube very often, do you?”

Mycroft eyes widened slightly. He had to admit, this girl was good.

“And why would you think that?” he inquires, raising an eyebrow. He was interested to hear what the girl would reveal.

“Well, for starters you’re wearing a pretty expensive suit, it’s very well tailored too and that alone is something that you don’t see normal people wear every day. So I would assume that you have a career that values formality, perhaps something government related. Am I getting warm so far?” the girl theorizes and Mycroft simply nods slowly, gesturing for her to continue. “Based on your posture, you also look like you’re not very fond of public places or people for that matter. Maybe you have trust issues, which might explain why your umbrella is actually a weapon.”

She swiftly tugs the umbrella out of his grasp and disassembles it, revealing the blade and gun in disguise.

“Or two.”

Mycroft hadn’t even noticed that she had approached him.

Idiot, he scolds himself.

“Now,” the girl jeered, using his own weapons against him, the blade dangerously close to his throat. “Who are you and what do you want?”

“My name is Mycroft Holmes,” he starts calmly, taking a breath to continue when he no longer felt the tip of his blade pressed against his neck. The girl had lowered the defenses and assembled the weapons back together in a blink of an eye, handing the umbrella back to him.

“Change of heart?” he questioned, raising his eyebrow.

She smiled and Mycroft glared at her, trying to decipher the unique girl but he didn’t have a single clue.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mycroft.” she extolled, raising Mycroft’s suspicions. She didn’t seem like a criminal or a bad person and he was definitely interested in finding out more about the girl, so he decided to play along. For now.

“First name basis already, it seems?” he commented, cueing for her to introduce herself.

“Ms. (L/N),” she replied with a smirk and Mycroft’s face fell. “And no, I’m afraid I’m the only one who gets to call you by your first name. A very interesting choice of name, I may add. Seems to run in the family…”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, nothing.”

The station bell chimes as the train starts to slow down, coming to a smooth halt. It was Mycroft’s stop.

“Well, this is where we get off.” the girl hums, grabbing him by the arm and practically dragging him out of the tube.

We?

“Am I wrong?”

Mycroft sighed in defeat, he had hoped that he and this girl would be parting ways. Being around just made him feel stupid and degrading.

“No…”

“I hope that umbrella of yours is actually capable of protecting us from the rain.” she surmised, dragging him up the stairs to the streets of London.

“Us?” he gulped.

“Why, yes. You’re off to Baker Street to visit your brother, no?”

“Yes, but how-”

“Well, so am I. Come on now! Open your umbrella I don’t want to get wet.”

“You’re a client?” he queried and she rolled her eyes.

“You ask too many questions. Now open the bloody umbrella!”

He definitely felt degraded.

*****

“Mycroft what are you doing here?” Sherlock asks, looking quite annoyed, the girl slipping past Sherlock and into the flat with Mycroft staring after her with his mouth slightly agape.

“She just went into your flat.”

“Yes and?”

“A complete - but may I add extremely intelligent - stranger is sitting on your chair, brother!”

Sherlock looks back at the girl and laughs. He pulls Mycroft inside, still laughing while the girl and he exchanged smiles.

“So, it appears you’ve met.” Sherlock says, still chuckling madly.

“Met him on the tube. I might’ve scared him a bit.”

Sherlock looks at Mycroft. “You still haven’t figured it out, have you?”

“Hmm, I’m surprised, Sherlock. You did say that he was quite fast at catching on.” the girl giggled, extending her hand to Mycroft. “I’m (Y/N), Sherlock’s girlfriend.”

And it clicks in his head as all the pieces fall into place. Suddenly, he could easily deduce the girl.

“Brother, you’re getting rusty.” Sherlock smirks and Mycroft frowns. “Don’t worry too much about your lack of deductions, she probably made you feel flustered and clogged your head, happened to me too when I first met her. You’re perfectly normal. Or as normal as you can possibly be, that is.”

“Well now that that’s sorted out, why are you really here Mycroft? Sherlock’s told me that you’re not very fond of friendly visits, there must be something you want from us.” the girl questions, squinting her eyes teasingly at Mycroft. He felt himself shrinking away from the girl, he had already been humiliated enough for one day. “You’re hiding something, c'mon spill the beans.”

“Fine,” he grumbles, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. “I’ve been having difficulty solving this brain teaser and I’m rather ashamed of myself for coming to my younger brother to ask for help, especially after today’s events. I just can’t solve it and it’s nagging me, you know?”

Sherlock snatches the paper eagerly out of his hand and reads what’s written, his face contorting to a look of confusion. (Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that the smartest people in London (and possibly even the world) were stumped by what was written on the slip of paper.

“I honestly have no idea.” Sherlock admits with a frown. “It’s not logical…”

“Exactly.” Mycroft agrees while (Y/N) takes the slip from Sherlock and examines the paper herself.

‘A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How did he do it?’

She doubles over with laughter and the boys turn their heads towards her, looking slightly annoyed.

“(Y/N), what’s so funny? We’re trying to find the answer to this illogical question.”

“His horse is named Friday. It’s so simple!”

“What? Oh.” they both say, and at this point, the girl was practically rolling around on the floor.

“She fell in love with you?” Mycroft affirmed and Sherlock nodded. “And you fell in love with this?”

He gestures to the girl who was still giggling and Sherlock nods again, a smile present on his face.

“Even though she’s brighter than the both of us combined? I’m surprised, brother.”

“I’ve simply found someone who can keep up, and who I strive to keep up to.”

“Point taken.”

“Has your ego been hurt enough?”

“Yes, for the first time in a while.”

“Good. And has the brother approved?”

Mycroft takes one more look at the girl.

“He has approved.”

*****

Thank you so much for reading! Requests are open so if you have any, please feel free to drop some in my inbox!

How to deal with failure after a test: NT edition

ENTJ: Feels the need to make amends immediately. Makes a plan to get better at the subject.

ENTP: Scours through the paper to hopefully find marking errors. Smirks smugly upon gaining more points as the class looks on jealously.

INTP: Wants to do what ENTP is doing, but is afraid of actually being incorrect, and stays quiet.

INTJ: Compares test score to others’. Suddenly it’s not so bad. (But not in INTJ’s eyes.)

The Boy Named Yoongi

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Pairing: Yoongi X Reader

Genre: Fluff

Length: 1,381 words

Summary: Valentine’s day is coming up and you had no interest in that but that was only until you realized you still liked your middle school crush; the boy who harshly rejected you.

WARNING: Sexual assault (It’s briefly mentioned but I just want everyone to know just in case)

Masterlist

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Keep reading

“Life’s a game, Maynard. And I play to win.”

***

The eve of Friday, July the 24th. Ibiza.

That was the time and place. That was the time and place when he met her and when his life took a course with which he could not so easily cope with.

He was a sweet-talker, a charmer to whom everything came easily. All that generally worked for him, because he had all that. There was no one he couldn’t sway with those words of his. The problem was she wasn’t affected by all that, because she didn’t fall under the category of all that. All that simply wasn’t enough for her. She played by a set of different rules, a set of her own rules, and her own rules were ever changing.

The summer night was balmy and the air was salty with an ocean breeze. The atmosphere was romantic, but he hadn’t come for romance. He had come for fun and for an unforgettable experience. What happened on holiday stayed on holiday. It was a world set apart from the world and that was why he was searching for the unknown, the untasted, and untried. And she was all of those things.

She was intrigue, mystery, and danger wrapped up into one. He should have known better and perhaps he did know better, but to be quite honest, he couldn’t have cared less.

He leaned toward his friend, trying to be heard over the pounding music. “Joe, have you seen her around here before?”

The answer was immediate.

“She’s out of your league, mate. Don’t even try.”

“I wouldn’t say she’s out of my league. Why do you say that?”

“She’s just not for you. Don’t get involved with her, Jack.”

Jack raised a skeptical eyebrow. “What do you know that I don’t?”

Joe sighed, knowing that his friend wasn’t going to back down until he got the answers he was seeking. “Look, I don’t know her personally, but I know that her name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N), and that she comes here on holiday every summer.” he paused for a moment, mulling over his next words. “She has quite a bit of a reputation.” he continued. “No one really knows much, but there are plenty of rumors. She’s complicated. There isn’t a person on this island that doesn’t know that she’s bad news.”

That was probably the point… That was probably the point when he should have listened, the point where he turned away no questions asked and walked away. But I would not be telling this story if he had.

Truth be told, the prospect of danger intrigued him. Truth be told, the prospect of bad news excited him. Truth be told, he wasn’t thinking straight.

Perhaps it was the alcohol. Perhaps it was the aura of the night. Perhaps it was none of those things but sheer stupidity, but as soon as he knew it he was walking toward her.

That first conversation he could not forget years after the event. At the time it had seemed effortlessly cool, she had seemed effortlessly cool, untouched by anything and everything. She was an illusion, a riddle, a puzzle that couldn’t be figured out. That pulled him in, an inexplicable energy that kept him bound to her, leaving him wanting more.

“Come here often?” he asked the minute he had approached her.

She turned toward him and took him in. Blonde hair, piercing blue eyes filled with a look she knew all too well. Nothing she hadn’t seen before, nothing she wouldn’t see again.

“I guess I appreciate the lame pick up-line. Or lack thereof.” she said, a sly smile playing at her lips. “But yes, I do come here often.”

“I thought it would be better than the fallen angel line.” he answered, a smirk forming on his lips.

“Perhaps it would have been better.” she said, taking a sip from her drink.

“Would you like a drink?” he asked.

She looked pointedly down at her drink and raised an eyebrow.

He laughed. “Right.”

She just sipped her drink wordlessly and turned away from him. She wasn’t a fan of wasting her time.

“Who hurt you so much to make you so cold?” he found himself asking without thinking too much about it.

Now it was her turn to laugh. “I don’t get hurt a lot.”

“How so?”

She looked at him and that light mysterious smile not leaving her face she shrugged her shoulders. “I’m long gone before anyone ever has the chance to.” And then, leaning toward him, she whispered in his ear. “The secret is, you leave before anyone gets close.” And with that, she had already started walking away.

“And if someone were to get close?” Jack called after her.

She stopped for a moment as if thinking about it.

“What’s your name?” he asked after a few moments of her not answering.

“I assume you already know that.” she answered over her shoulder and without turning back walked away and out of the club.

Jack sighed and walked back to where Joe was standing, pretending not to have seen the whole thing.

“Don’t.” Jack said before signaling to the bartender for another drink.

“I told you so. You can’t win her over.”

“I highly doubt that. I can win anyone over.”

“I don’t know, mate.” Joe said, taking a moment to look down at his drink as he swirled around the liquid in its glass. He then looked back up at Jack. “Perhaps you’ve met your match.”

And perhaps he had.

***

The afternoon of Saturday, July the 25th. Ibiza. The beach.

That was the second time he saw her. She was lounging on a sun bed, listening to the waves of the sea hit the seashore, eyes closed. Nobody was around her. A few people sneaked a look at her now and again, but no one dared approach her. No one except him.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” he said, standing right in front of her. “Lovely day, isn’t it? Nice and sunny.”

“Yeah, except you’re blocking my sun.” she said, opening a single eye to glare at him.

“No greeting?” he teased.

“Yeah, hi, guy whose name I don’t know. You’re blocking my sun.”

“Jack Maynard.”

“Okay. Jack, you’re blocking my sun.”

He took a step to the side and looked at her as she settled back into her comfortable position. After a few moments, surprisingly, she was the one to speak.

“I see you have found out my name.”

“No. You were right. I knew it from before.”

“Everybody does.”

“That’s rather vain.”

“It’s a fact.”

She kept her eyes closed and fell back into silence.

“Mind if I sit down?” Jack asked.

“Yes.” she answered tersely.

Nonetheless, he still sat down on the sun bed next to her. And that moment he could swear that he heard someone nearby gasp.

“What is it about you that has everyone acting like that?”

She opened her eyes and her gaze fastened on the clear blue eyes of the boy sitting next to her - or rather the curiosity written in them.

“Haven’t you heard?” she asked, disdain in her voice. “I’m a force to be reckoned with.”

“Are you now? I’ve been told that I am too.”

“Watch it, Jack. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

And with that she picked up her stuff and walked away from him yet again.

***

The morning of Sunday, July the 26th. Pool bar.

“Why do you keep walking away from me?”

(Y/N) set down her drink and slowly turned toward the boy who had now started to become a regular occurrence in her life.

“Why do you keep stalking me?”

Jack grinned playfully at her. “It’s not my fault that we happen to be staying at the same hotel.”

She scoffed and turned away from him again.

“Seriously, I can show you my room key if you don’t believe me.”

She didn’t answer, but instead just sipped her drink, completely ignoring him. Jack felt all eyes on him and the feeling of anticipation in the air.

“That was the same drink you had at the club. You like ‘Sex on the Beach’.”

“And you say you’re not stalking me?” she asked, still facing away from him.

He laughed and took a seat on the bar stool next to her. “I can’t help being a good observer.”

“Of course you can’t.” she answered sarcastically.

“So, going to the beach today?”

She didn’t answer.

“You’re supposed to answer. And then I’m supposed to say something. It’s called a conversation.” he said teasingly.

“Does it really matter? Whether I go or not you’re going to show up where I am, anyway.” she retorted.

“Ha. Ha. Funny.” he answered in the same tone of voice. “Come on, talk to me.”

“Why is it so important to you that I talk to you?” she asked suddenly.

He was rather surprised at the question, but he just shrugged his shoulders and said, “Why is it so important to you that you don’t talk to me?”

“Because I don’t talk to anybody. And nobody talks to me. Maybe we shouldn’t wreck the equilibrium.”

And that was the third time she stood up and walked away from him.

***

The afternoon of Sunday, July the 26th.

“What are the rumors?”

“The what?”

Joe was currently lounging on a sun bed near the pool, scrolling through his Twitter, only to be interrupted by his friend asking him stupid questions.

“The rumors. About (Y/N). What is it that makes her the way she is?”

“How should I know?” Joe asked. “Maybe she’s just crazy.”

“Then why is everyone so afraid of her?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because she’s crazy.” Joe answered, completely uninterested.

“So, you know nothing?” Jack asked, bewildered.

“I know that apparently she got arrested and that ever since then everyone’s been watching not to step on her path. She’s considered dangerous.”

“Do you believe any of that?”

Joe stopped scrolling through his phone and looked up at Jack. “Frankly, mate, I don’t care. It’s her business. Why do you?”

Jack didn’t have an answer to that question.

***

The evening of Sunday, July the 26th. The moon-bathed beach.

“I didn’t think I’d see you here.”

“Honestly, how do you keep finding me?”

He sat down on the sand next to her. “I’m not. I kind of just run into you.”

“Yeah, such a coincidence.” she answered, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Seriously, I’m not trying to look for you. I hope I run into you, but I don’t follow any type of logical path to find you. Hand on heart.” he answered and put his hand on his heart. He was being honest and he wanted her to know it.

She looked at him for a second and then let out of a light chuckle. “You really are something.”

“Something good?”

“Something.”

“I guess I’ll take it.”

“Take it or leave it, I don’t care.”

“You don’t seem to care about much, do you?”

“Caring is fatal.”

“But not caring makes you cold.”

“Are you here to be my therapist?” she snapped.

He looked at her for a moment in the moonlight before shaking his head. “No… I’m just here to… hang out. What are you doing here?”

A few moments passed before she answered. That always seemed to happen whenever he talked to her. She seemed to like leaving some space for a dramatic pause. It was as if she thought she was in some sort of movie or book.

“I come here sometimes.”

“Because?” he prompted.

“Because I can and I want to.” she answered.

“And you want to because?”

“You want to know too much.” she said.

“That’s probably because I don’t know anything. I literally know nothing about you.”

“And you’re not supposed to.”

He sighed. “Why are you playing this game?”

“Life’s a game, Maynard. And I play to win.”

She stood up again. But this time it was different. Before she walked away, she turned to him and she gave him a smile. It was something. It was certainly something.

***

The evening of Wednesday, July the 29th. The club.

For three days he didn’t see her. For three days there was no trace of her anywhere. Perhaps she was deliberately avoiding him, trying to ignore the little slip in her mask that evening on the beach. Nobody seemed to question it, though. It was just a thing she did. She was the mysterious personality that floated in and out of existence, the inexplicable phenomenon everyone was awed by and too afraid to ask about.

It wasn’t until three days later that he saw her where he had first seen her. It seemed like someone had hit the rewind button on time and everything had returned to the way it had been on that first fateful night. Everything was the same.

Nothing was the same.

He caught her eye just in time. It was only a glimpse before she looked away and then walked away. He followed her. Neither of them spoke until they reached the seaside. A couple of minutes later they were still walking along it, silence between them.

“I saw you look at me.” he finally said.

“Must have a been a trick of light.” But he caught the light smile that gave her away.

“Could be.”

“You’re a very interesting person, do you know that?” he asked, breaking another spell of momentary silence.

There was a different note to her smile this time. Something he couldn’t explain. “That’s only because you know nothing about me.”

“I’d like to.”

She turned to him with a curious look on her face, as if she were analyzing the very essence of him.

“I mean, I’d like to know things about you.”

“Wouldn’t that just make me uninteresting and ordinary then?”

A small moment of laughter. But she wasn’t laughing. It had been a serious question. He composed himself.

“I doubt anything could make you uninteresting and ordinary, (Y/N).”

“Mystery is what makes things interesting and extraordinary.”

“I don’t agree with that.”

“Maybe you need to reevaluate some things then.”

“Why are you like this?”

“Why am I like what?”

By this point they’d started walking in the opposite direction, back to the club. He hadn’t noticed that she’d turned him around. He had been too mesmerized by her to notice what was happening.

“Like… this.”

An entertained smile painted her lips.

The music resounded beneath their feet. The club was merely a few steps away. A crowd of party-goers was right in front of them.

“Perhaps you’ll never know.”

And with that she disappeared in the crowd.

“But maybe I will!” he called after her, but he could no longer see her. She had gotten lost in the crowd. Whether it was a deliberate move or a stroke of luck, he could only guess.

***

The sunset of Thursday, July the 30th. The pier.

Joe had just gone to his room and Jack was left alone on the pier. He played with the bottle cap in his hands and looked up at the fiery red and orange sky. It was like someone had taken the sky as a blank canvas and began to paint all that they felt on it. If it could be described as anything, it would be feeling. The feeling of passion, the feeling of desire, happiness, tranquility, euphoria… It truly was a beautiful sight.

Someone sat next to him.

He turned to see who it was and was surprised to find that it was… her.

“Well, this is a strange turn of events. I thought I was the one stalking you.”

“I had to return the favor.” There was an obvious note of a smile in her voice.

“Any reasons why you’ve sought me out?”

“Perhaps.”

“But perhaps I’ll never know?”

She laughed and tossed her hair over her shoulder as she turned to look at him. “And you say you don’t know anything about me.”

He shook his head, but couldn’t help the smile that came as a reaction to her words and her demeanor. He wanted to push the matter further… She had come looking for him. The formerly thought of as forever uninterested, elusive, enigmatic girl had for once come to find him and she had a reason for it. However, she didn’t give him the chance to say anything more on the subject.

“This has always been one of my favorite places. This pier at both sunrise and sunset. It kind of shows you the meaning of both beginnings and endings and how both of them can be beautiful.”

“Why are you telling me this?” he couldn’t help but ask.

She turned toward him and looked at him for a second. “Because I think that it is important for you to know that.”

“That being that both beginnings and endings can be beautiful?”

She just smiled in response and turned away from him to look at the sunset. He just kept looking at her, an aura of confusion settling over him. She was trying to tell him something; he just wasn’t sure what.

“Jack, do you understand that sometimes you shouldn’t ask about things? Some things should just be left a secret.”

“I guess I’m just a curious person.”

“Curiosity killed the cat.” She turned toward him and locked eyes with him. He hadn’t noticed it, but she had sidled closer to him, so close that now her face was only millimeters from his and he could feel her breath on his skin. “But in this case it may just break your heart instead.”

Her lips were on his. Her touch was sweet, soft, divine, all the colors in the sky… It was nothing like the girl he had thought he’d met. But in a paradoxical way it just added to what little he knew about her. She was more elusive than she let on.

It took less than a second. The moment she pulled away from him he was in shock. He was suddenly longing for her touch. He was longing for the touch of this girl he barely even knew. Perhaps he should have questioned it, this strange behavior, this strange feeling, but instead he just slid closer to her and leaned in, but she gently pushed him away.

“I’m leaving today.” she said bluntly as if she felt nothing… as if nothing had ever happened.

“What?” he asked, not completely registering her words. Did she just tell him that she was leaving after they’d kissed, a kiss that she had initiated? This didn’t seem right. It didn’t seem like something people did.

“I’m leaving today.”

She had repeated that same sentence as if it explained everything… as if it explained anything at all.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I felt that you should know.”

“Where are you going?”

“Back home.”

“Which is where?”

There was a moment of tense silence. “You know better than that, Jack.”

“Maybe I don’t. Tell me. Why can’t you? Or course you can. Why do you make it seem that it will be some catastrophe if you tell me anything about yourself? What was so terrible that you did that you can never talk about it?”

She didn’t answer. She just stared down at her clasped hands in her lap. Somehow he knew that she wasn’t going to answer.

He sighed. “How are we supposed to keep in touch if you don’t tell me where you live, give me your phone number, or any form of contact for that matter?”

She looked back at him then and that look said more than words ever could.

“You were never planning on staying in touch with me, were you?”

She touched his shoulder. “Jack…”

“I don’t understand. But- you- we-” He was grasping at straws now. He knew that nothing he would say would get his questions answered let alone get her to change her mind. “You kissed me. Why did you kiss me?”

She sighed and got up. It was a slow movement. It was as if she was preparing him for the weight of the words. “Because… I felt like you deserved a beautiful ending.”

And with that she turned away from him and walked away. He could have followed her. He could have caught up with her. He could have continued this conversation. He could have asked - demanded - for a clearer answer. But he just… didn’t. He knew that no matter what he did it wouldn’t make a difference.

So, he couldn’t win her over. Perhaps Joe was right. Perhaps he had met his match. But it wasn’t even about that anymore. Most of all what disappointed him most was that he hadn’t gotten to know her.

What eluded him most of all was the question of why he wanted to so much.

***

The late morning of the 1st of September. Local cafe shop.

Jack was in a local cafe shop. Well, at least it was local to the people who lived around here. He had been around Joe’s house to film a video with him and then he had decided to just… wander. He hadn’t been sure where he had been going, in fact he wasn’t even sure where he was. All that he knew for a fact was that one moment the sign of “Gabbie’s Local Cafe Shop” had pierced through his reverie state. And then he went in, not because he didn’t have anything better to do, but because he didn’t feel like doing it.

What happened next some people would have labeled as 'fate’ or 'destiny’. He’d always been a firm nonbeliever when it came to 'fate’ and 'destiny’, but now he wasn’t so sure, because there she was in the flesh, a smile on her face, saying “One cappuccino with cinnamon. Enjoy!”

She hadn’t seen him yet. In fact she wasn’t looking in his direction at all. Her full focus was on her costumers, showing them a smile, asking them about their days, and melodically repeating their orders when they were finished along with a cheerful good-bye remark.

It was so not (Y/N) that for a moment he thought he was mistaken. He must have been for this girl standing at the counter, an obvious friendly and cheerful countenance enveloping her, could not have been the same girl, all wilderness and mystique, that he had encountered in Ibiza.

And then something happened - something that in his mind proved that this was not the same girl. A customer approached, a girl about her age, whose presence seemed to evoke something he couldn’t explain within this person he never knew.

“Jackie!”

The excited call for what seemed to be her friend was followed by an embrace. At this point all the noise in the cafe seemed to fade out… He couldn’t hear anything, nothing but the high-colored laughter that was (Y/N)’s reaction to whatever it was that Jackie had said. And then he was sure if not by anything else but the way it - she - made him feel. It was her.

He waited as (Y/N) and Jackie made plans to see a movie that same evening and then as (Y/N) took Jackie’s order, while filling her in on what had happened at somebody’s-name-he-couldn’t-catch’s party a week ago, and then while Jackie told (Y/N) all about some guy that had texted her and then while (Y/N) excitedly told Jackie about a pair of twins they had both known back in middle school. Finally, Jackie took her coffee, embraced (Y/N) once more and left the shop.

After what seemed like an eternity (Y/N)’s eyes met Jack’s and her face expression completely changed from one of cheerfulness to one of complete confusion, then worry, and finally a face expression he couldn’t interpret laced with an emotion he couldn’t describe.

“A latte, please.” he said as he approached the counter.

It took her a few seconds to reply, but then with that perfectly friendly and cheerful smile she said, “I’ll get right on that.” Then she yelled the order over her shoulder and someone in the back told her it would be ready soon.

“The last time we talked you didn’t have a British accent.” he said. He hadn’t meant for it to sound accusatory, but nonetheless that’s how it came out.

“Right.” she said after a few moments and then added no further explanation. The wait for the coffee seemed like an eternity.

“I don’t work here.” she finally said. “I’m just covering for a friend.”

“You seem to know everyone very well.”

“I come here sometimes when she’s working a shift, so I’ve met some of them.”

“Right.”

“Actually, I think it’s just because she’s just really friendly. She’s possibly the friendliest person I’ve met.” The voice belonged to the guy who had just approached the next counter. He was wearing the uniform as well, so Jack assumed he worked here too.

He didn’t answer anything to that, but just looked at her. Yet again he wasn’t sure if he recognized her.

She seemed visibly uncomfortable at the remark of her temporary colleague.

“Latte.”

The drink was handed to her without another word. She took it and put it in front of Jack.

“One latte.” she said, the cheerfulness back in her voice now, but it was so obviously put there as a defense mechanism that even her colleague glanced at her questioningly.

He looked down at the coffee in front of him and then back at her. It was as if he were expecting something and she seemed to know that. Finally, he took the drink and turned to walk away.

“Have a nice day, Jack!”

The call was one of protocol or something she just did - he wasn’t sure - but he saw the meaning in it. He turned around and looked at her for a moment. Her eyes were searching his.

“Do you know each other?”

The moment was put to an end by her colleague. She opened her mouth to answer, but he beat her to it.

“No. Not at all.” Jack said and then turned and walked out of the cafe.

***

The late morning of the 5th of September. Gabbie’s Local Cafe Shop.

He’d once been told that curiosity killed the cat. However, curiosity was not what was fueling him right now. He needed answers. In fact, it felt like he deserved him. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to know so much, but he was in so deep right now that it didn’t even matter anymore.

From a psychological point of view, probably none of this was normal. No person could just completely change their personality, right? So, she must have been playing some kind of game with him again. And now he was on a mission - if not to stop the game than at at least to learn its rules.

It was around the same time of when he had last visited. She had said that she was covering for a friend and that sometimes she was around for her shifts. If it was fate, she would be there.

“Can I help you, sir?”

The question was more or a warning. He assumed he looked more flustered than he actually was. He quickly composed himself and looked up at the girl at the counter and gave her a quick smile before looking around. She wasn’t here. Apart from him and the girl at the counter the cafe was empty.

“Hi,” he started, approaching the counter. “I’ll take a cappuccino.” He gave her one of his charming smiles.

“With or without cinnamon?”

“With.”

“Cappuccino with cinnamon!” she called over her shoulder and got a signal of approval.

“Thanks.” he said, wondering how to pose the next question. “Listen, I’m actually looking for someone. (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I was hoping she might be here.”

“She doesn’t work here.” Her answer was plain and uninterested.

“Yes, I know. Do you know where she might be?”

The girl just gave him a bored shrug of her shoulders as a response just as her colleague approached behind her with Jack’s coffee.

“One cappuccino with cinnamon.” he said, handing the steaming cup of coffee to the girl before looking up at the customer.

“Oh, Jack! Right?” It was the same guy from last time.

“Yeah, hi, um…” He was suddenly embarrassed that he didn’t know the guy’s name even though he shouldn’t have been, because honestly did he even know this guy? Lately, he’d been having a lot of strange interactions with people he barely knew.

“Derek.”

“Derek.”

“(Y/N) doesn’t work here.”

Why did everyone keep telling him that?

“Yeah, I know. I just hoped I might find her here.”

Derek gave him a smirk. “I know you two had something going on.”

It was certainly something, but it definitely wasn’t what he thought.

“We don’t.”

“I won’t tell. I promise.” That and the unrelenting smirk. He wasn’t sure which was more disturbing at this moment.

“Listen, do you know where she is?”

“Oh, yeah, totally. She should be at UCL. She’s an assistant there. Hey, you forgot your coffee!”

In an odd way, it all felt too familiar. It was Ibiza all over again. It was like chasing shadows. It was looking for something that didn’t want to be found. In fact, it was the same game, except a new level.

When he got there he wasn’t sure how to proceed. He should have stayed at the cafe and gathered more information, but the moment he had heard where she was it felt like a pointer, a pointer on how to play this game. For one moment he had felt as if he had had the upper hand. Now, he just felt stupid for how was he supposed to find something that did its best to hide?

However, just like back at the beach when she disappeared into that crowd he now too got his stroke of luck, because as soon as he approached the building he found her. There she was just like the time before not having registered his appearance.

“Jonah, look, I appreciate your opinion and I know that you are the professor and I’m just the assistant, but I think I have a say in this, because I’ve been a student - not just a student, but a student here who has taken this class. These students come here with hopes and dreams and a zest for knowledge. Do not enforce some stupid system on them. Let them learn, don’t just teach them. Do you understand what I am trying to tell you? I know that you are a person who listens to reason and that is why I am telling you this.”

Jonah nodded and said, “Your opinion is always appreciated, (Y/N). I will think about what you have told me.” And with that he turned around and headed in the opposite direction.

“So, I’ve met the one that doesn’t care about anything, the one that cares about everything, and the one that cares about the right things. Have any more up your sleeve?”

His voice startled her so much that she swiveled around to find its source. As soon as she set eyes on him her face changed into that same unrecognizable face expression that he couldn’t explain the last time he saw her. But that only took a moment, because it was gone as soon as it had come only to be replaced by what looked to be a trained expression of professionalism.

“Jack, hi.” she said plainly, ignoring his former comment.

“(Y/N), hi.” he repeated in the same tone of voice.

“Are you mocking me?” she teased, beginning to walk forward. He was quick to follow.

“No, just trying to understand you.”

“I’m a hard person to understand.”

“Clearly. So, what are you doing here?”

“I work here. Judging by the fact that you knew exactly where to come, I would have thought you’d have known that. Who told you?”

“Derek.”

She chuckled. “Of course.”

“He told me you were an assistant.”

“Yeah. English and Literature. I used to study here and they kept me as an assistant.”

“English and Literature.”

“English and Literature. I like adventures.”

“Uh-uh.”

“You don’t seem that convinced.” she looked at him and smiled.

“No, I am. I just wondered how that ties in with last summer.”

“It doesn’t.” she answered tersely. He opted to drop the subject for now as the reply had had a hostile note to it.

“Are you single?” he suddenly asked.

“Depends on who’s asking. For some boys, I am. For others, I’m in a serious relationship. And to friends, I tell the truth.”

“I thought you and I were friends.”

He spotted the smile, but there was no verbal answer.

“Okay, then, what would you say if I asked to take you to dinner?”

“Jack…” That one word conveyed more meaning than anything she could have said.

But he couldn’t stop. He knew that it was cruel of him, that she should have left her alone, that he should have forgotten about this whole messed up situation, that he should have just said “Well, nice knowing you.” but he just couldn’t stop. He had come this far. He didn’t want to lose this game.

“What? Finish your sentence.”

And that’s when… something broke. Something in that rock solid interior gave way. He could see it in her face, the eyes that refused to look at him.

“You’re not supposed to be here. It wasn’t- It wasn’t supposed to go this way.”

“What wasn’t supposed to go this way?”

“You. You were supposed to be… Ibiza. Not this. Not now.”

“What are you talking about?”

But she didn’t answer. She just shook her head. “I should have known that one day it would catch up with me. It couldn’t go on forever.”

“What couldn’t go on forever?”

An exasperated sigh. And the shield was back. The air of professionalism in full force.

“Don’t you understand, Jack? The person you met in Ibiza wasn’t me.”

“I’m not sure this is you either.” he said, taking a step back. “(Y/N), I don’t understand.”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen. You and I… It was only supposed to be Ibiza. You weren’t supposed to encounter me anywhere else.”

He was in shock. Suddenly the game was dropped, the rules didn’t matter anymore, the controller he’d thought he held in his hand vanished. “You mean, you planned all of this?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like?”

“I just…” She ran a frustrated hand through her glossy hair. “It’s just people have different opinions of me and I react the way they expect me to.”

“Like in Ibiza everyone thinks you’re dangerous and mysterious, so that’s the way you act?”

“See, you get it!”

“I’m afraid I don’t.” The reply was bitter, emotionless.

“Jack…”

“Tell me, are any of those stories about you even true? Apparently you got arrested, you’re someone to watch out for, you’re dangerous…” he let the words drift into time and space.

She was silent for a second. “I told you… they-they’re just rumors.” Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

“And the friendly cashier who talks to everybody, the professional who works at this school? Which one is you, (Y/N)?”

She didn’t answer.

“That’s what I thought. I’m sorry I overstepped my boundaries in this funny little game of yours. I’d just thought I’d met an actual person, not someone who changes personalities to keep life fun for herself. I guess one thing was right about you’re Ibiza personality. You really don’t care.” He took a deep breath. “I was only supposed to be Ibiza? Life’s not a book. You don’t get to plan its plot. But okay, don’t worry. I quit the game. Find yourself another player.”

And with that he walked away, ignoring her calling his name one more time.

It turned out that Joe was right. He had met his match. And this match, he wasn’t going to win. So, he might as well forfeit before he lost.

***

Late afternoon of October the 1st. Hyde Park.

The thing about life is that it’s never going to go according to plan. As much as he thought that that was her biggest mistake it was his too.

He planned on never meeting her again. He planned on never speaking to her again. He planned on never thinking about her again.

But life is strange that way. Our plans never seem to turn out exactly the way we want. And perhaps it’s for the better.

He was sitting on a bench with his roommate, Josh, as they were both waiting for his friend to show up and give him back the camera he’d lent her. Jack was scrolling through his phone as Josh stood up and waved to someone, calling them over.

Suddenly a silence fell over them as the person in question failed to acknowledge Josh, but stepped away from him and directed her eyes toward Jack, who still hadn’t looked up from his phone.

“Jack.”

The voice sent a shiver down his spine and he immediately looked up.

“(Y/N). What are you doing here?” he asked, an evident shock lacing his voice.

“How do you know (Y/N)?” Josh asked.

“I don’t.” Jack said before (Y/N) could say anything. “Nobody does.” The hostility in his voice was tangible. She cowered into herself, her gaze hitting the ground.

“I just, I want to say I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” she said to Jack, pulling the camera out of her bag quickly. She thrust it into Josh’s arms, looking completely ready to bolt.

But then she seemed to change her mind and turned toward Jack again, who was now looking at her with a surprised kind of curiosity swimming in his blue eyes. “Really. I am.” she said, touched his shoulder, turned around and left without saying another word.

“Where have you met (Y/N) before?” Josh asked his friend.

“In another world.” Jack answered, still staring after the retreating figure of the girl who cared about nothing, cared about everything, and cared about all the right things simultaneously.

***

Noon. October the 15th.

Sometimes the situations we get from life seem like too much to handle. Sometimes we struggle. Sometimes we even give up. But sometimes, despite everything that’s happened, life deals with them for us.

Jack was alone in the apartment. His flat mates were all out somewhere and the quiet was if anything strange. The apartment was usually filled with a hustle and bustle and without it it didn’t seem much like home anymore.

Trying to ignore the unnerving silence, Jack tried to focus on the task at hand which was editing last night’s video. But it seemed as if something wouldn’t let him focus. If he had been as absorbed as he usually was in his work he might not have heard the doorbell ring. But he wasn’t and the sound came as a welcome distraction from all the other distractions that seemed to be keeping him from his work.

What was behind the door was… less than welcome.

“Josh isn’t home.”

Set rewind to the summer and he would have been both overjoyed and awed at her presence. Now he was just annoyed and bored. Or at least he tried to put off a vibe as if he was. But the fact still stood. (Y/N) was just a regular girl with all her flaws, insecurities, and strange tendencies. And he hadn’t the energy to deal with her. A promise is a promise. And he had promised himself that he would forget about her.

“I wasn’t looking for Josh. I was looking for you.”

“I wonder why.” he said, stepping aside and walking back to his laptop, leaving the door open. “I barely know you. In fact, I don’t know you. Tell me, which (Y/N) does Josh know? Is it any of the ones I’ve met or a completely different version that I hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting?”

He expected her to argue with his statement. He expected her to retort with an equal kind of sarcasm. He expected her to try to excuse her actions. He didn’t know why. It wasn’t as if he had ever known what to expect from her. That was what all of the versions of her he had met had in common. They were all unpredictable. And the fact of the matter was, no matter how much he tried to ignore and deny it, no matter what 'version’ of (Y/N) it was that he came across he couldn’t get the picture of that high-colored sky and the sound of that high-colored laughter out of his mind. She was all of the emotions of the sky. All of the colors in her laughter. She was high-colored. In her purest and most basic level, he felt he knew her, or at least gotten a glimpse of what was her.

“I’m not going to argue with you.” she said and then paused, took a deep breath and continued to speak. “I’m not even going to apologize to you. I’ve already done both of those things. But I do need to tell you something. And after I have, you can decide what to think of me. But not before.”

She paused and waited for his response.

His curiosity piqued, he said, “Go on.”

“The thing is, I don’t really like 'Sex on the Beach’. I prefer champagne. I don’t think I’m a force to be reckoned with, although people on Ibiza seem to. I never got arrested, but I went along with the rumors because I thought it would be fun. I wanted to see what it was like to be wild. I am not as nice as I pretend to be. Far from it. Although, I’d like to believe my heart is good. I am terrified of roller coasters. I like long car rides, but I don’t like driving. I think Beyonce is overrated. I love classical music and I wish I played an instrument. I have hidden talents in business, although I think economy is the dullest thing ever invented. I have no problem with blood on TV, but in real life I faint at the sight of it. I’m not very good at drawing, but I do it anyway. One of my proudest achievements is getting over my fear of public speaking. I don’t like the color brown and I hate wearing all black. I oddly like wearing black and brown together. I like color, but not too much. The sound of thunder gives me goosebumps, but I like the rain. I have an odd fixation to the villains in stories and I like to believe in the good in people. I have an unreasonable fear of heights, but I pretend not to. The reason I don’t let people get close is because I’m scared they’ll hurt me, so I push them away before they do. I read too much poetry and not enough prose. I dramatize everything, so that I can pretend it has any meaning, because otherwise I’d be completely lost.” She breathed in and finally finished her speech. “The truth is I don’t know anything about myself and now you know as much as I do.”

She took a step toward him. “You were right, Jack. You don’t know me. Nobody does. Not even me. But if I know one thing is that I’d like to. I’d like to get to know me. And for some odd and strange reason, I’d like you to know me too. And I’d like to know you too. The real you. The real me.” They were face to face now. “What do you say?”

“I’d like to know us too.”

She smiled. And for the first time since he had met her it was a full and honest smile. A smile full of color.

***

The eve of Saturday. July the 30th. The following year. Ibiza.

“Do you think they’ll ever stop doing that?”

“What? Staring when they think we’re not looking? I doubt it. I have a reputation.”

Jack and (Y/N) walked toward the bar. The way was paved for them as no one dared to step in their path.

“What do you suppose they’re thinking?” he asked her with an amused grin.

“Well…” she started, chewing on her lower lip in thought. “Either they think you’re the guy who tamed the beast or I’m the girl who turned you wild. Take your pick.”

He laughed. “They’re entertaining stories. Even though they’re not true.”

“You know, we could just tell them the truth.”

“I doubt they’d believe you. Everyone likes to daydream. Leave them their fantasies.” He reached down to take her hand in his. He was pretty sure he wasn’t imagining the laser beam of eyes on their intertwined hands. “Besides, I can see the thrill of doing this. This make-believe story is exciting. We might as well have fun with it.”

“Whatever you say.” she said, laughing at his amusement with the whole situation.

“Let’s give them something to look at, shall we?” he said as they reached the bar. He leaned down and kissed her on the lips. He could taste the color that she was on her lips. And for that single moment, she wasn’t Ibiza’s mystery girl anymore. She was his girlfriend, the girl of color. As entertaining as it was to play along in her world of make-believe, he would never trade knowing her for who she was for any amount of mystery. And everyday he was happy to get to know her even more.

They pulled apart and he turned toward the barman. “A 'Sex on the Beach’.” Then stealing a glance at her next to him, he turned back and said, “And a glass of champagne.”

She laughed at the fact that he’s remembered and shook her head.

And as he looked at her then, he realized something. She had been right. Life was a game. But it was much more fun playing together instead of against each other.

Request in my ask box!

I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE
a disgrace (me)
I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE

ok so idek why i m doing this tag bc my voice or my accent aint rly special so @kais-daddy and @xiuvee (I SAID I WAS TAGGED BY XIUBYUNS I M SORRY) thank u for tagging me n here u go !!!!! i was so so awkward and i tried recording this so many times but at this point i have given up and IDC (dont unfollow me after listening to this pls)

ik i m late but i m still gonna tag people to do this (if you’ve already done this tag me in ur post pls !!) @chanyevol @chanyeolsoo @luflute @1lugia @isexoreal @baekpeach (Ik u did it already but U WANTED TO LISTEN TO THIS) @booyunbaekhyun @suhosfurry @ylxlng and @yixingsdulhan 

So are we ever gonna talk about the fact that in 1.06, Wyatt is apprehended looking like this

but when he wakes up handcuffed to a chair, he is missing his jacket, his tie, and the first few buttons of his shirt?

Also his sleeves were rolled up?

And he does not get his stuff back by the end of the episode. It’s just gone. Gone forever.

What happened that made this necessary? Rufus is intact: jacket, tie, buttons. Even his press pass is still on. Did someone have to resuscitate Wyatt or something? Make it easier for him to breathe? Is taser/chloroform that bad of a predictably bad combo? (Chloroform will affect the heart/lungs.) And after all, we do know that, canonically, Wyatt just does not handle his vapors well. (He’s also the last one to wake up in 1.11. By at least twenty minutes.) I’ll just imagine Flynn begrudgingly giving Wyatt cpr so he doesn’t die.

Why did this dressing down occur?

And were Lucy and Rufus similarly drugged here, or did they go quietly and willingly after Wyatt was incapacitated? We see them get grabbed, but did they just… go along with it?

Oh, these answer-less questions.

Magic Lessons

In which Nesta gets rip-roaring drunk.  Mildly NSFW.  There’s a small shout-out to Anne Bishop’s Black Jewels trilogy too.  Makes more sense if you read the rest first:  1  2  2.5  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11


Nesta scanned the library shelves.  She had about half an hour before she needed to meet with Amren, and wanted to see if there were any books on life magic.  Months earlier, she had read what limited information there was on death magic, but none of it had felt like what she had called up that day against the King.  Hopefully, she had just been searching for the wrong thing, but she’d spent an hour already with no luck at all.  There were stacks of books on Illyrian killing power, and many more on the more generic magics like managing pocket realms and winnowing.  None of which she had tried yet.  Damn.  The silent librarian who escorted her turned into a different set of shelves, pulled two volumes down, and handed them to her.  She carried them to one of the desks that lined the circular walls and flipped one open.  It was a dissertation on magical theory, reviewing the concept of magic as manipulation of molecules.  She didn’t even know what that meant, but it sounded like it might be informative.  The second book opened to a gruesome picture of a fae being misted.  She’d seen enough of that in person during the war, and it had never called to her power.  Closing that one, she lifted the first and turned to the librarian.  “Can I borrow this?”  The female shook her head, and pointed to the desk, then to Nesta.  Okay, then, she could leave it here and come to read it.  She set it back down, nodded her thanks and left, realizing as she climbed that she could have verbally thanked the librarian; Clotho was mute, not deaf.  Oh well.  

Amren had suggested they meet on the roof; it was vacant when Nesta emerged from the House of Wind so she settled into one of the chairs.  Cassian had taken Feyre with him to train with Brisa again, so they wouldn’t be working out up there.  Her stomach ached from his absence.  Or from the memories of the day before.  She still felt a twinge of pain at how close she came to plucking his life before she remembered him after returning to her body.  Though he hadn’t been nearly as disturbed by the fact she’d nearly killed him as by the idea that she might have stayed in the abyss.  Their bond vibrated, and she realized she was sending her thoughts down it unawares.  She opened her pathetic, untrained barrier to him and he sent back an image of their return to the apartment the night before.  Her lips curled into a smile as she recalled flying back from the townhouse chasing the setting sun, all the colors more vibrant  than she had ever noticed before, his arms warm and hard around her, the wind tickling her skin, setting her into a state of arousal yet again.  Cassian must have felt it too, because as soon as he landed he lay her down on the chaise in the rooftop garden and they didn’t bother to fully undress before they were tangled with each other again, his wings flared to hide them from any eyes flying overhead.  Then he had carried her down the stairs, ignoring her laughing protests, mouth claiming hers as he gently set her on her feet.  It felt strange, to return to their apartment after so much had changed and realize they had been gone less than twelve hours.  She had been a little worried that Willow would reject or fear her, but the half-grown cat had greeted her as enthusiastically as ever, whole body vibrating with the force of her purr.  Then this morning, they had lingered in bed far past his usual sunrise awakening.

The sound of a throat clearing interrupted her reverie, and she looked up to see Amren glaring at her.  “Are you ready to work, or am I going to have to deal with newly-mated nonsense all day?”

Nesta bristled a little at the tone, but replied, “Yes” as flatly as she could manage.

The tiny female’s eyes narrowed.  “Yes to which one?”

“You pick,” Nesta replied, but got to her feet.  “What’s the plan?”  

Amren led her over to the door, where she had set a box of plants.  “We need to figure out what your magic affects, and you need to practice control.”

Nesta looked down at the box, wondering if Elain would be mad at her if she destroyed a bunch of plants.  Or if she was right, and it was life magic she possessed, could she turn the roof into a jungle if she pushed her power the other way?  “I found a book,” she said, noticing the crossing of Amren’s arms at the delay, “that talks about magic as manipulating molecules?  I don’t really understand what that means, but it sounded brilliant…” She broke off as she realized Amren actually looked a little embarrassed.  Her expression changed to bored contempt as soon as she noticed Nesta’s attention.  Hmm.  Perhaps the ancient female had more talents than she knew, if she was writing books.  Though after thousands of years of existence, she supposed writing was just another thing to do.

Amren waved a hand dismissively.  “That’s all well and good to read on your own time.  Maybe it’ll help, if you can actually understand it.  For now, grab a plant and sit down.”  Selecting the ugliest plant of the group, Nesta sat at the little painted iron table.  “Close your eyes.”  She obeyed.  “Now, remember what you felt yesterday when you returned and everything was fresh.  Breathe in, and let the power flow through you.  Then breathe out, and reach out with it.  Don’t do anything with it, just feel.”  

But Nesta didn’t have to reach out.  As soon as she thought of the power, she could feel Amren’s life force flowing, so close to her.  The people in the House of Wind behind her as well, servants and librarians and the couple of scholars who had been admitted.  She directed her focus to the plant in front of her, but it may as well have been made of the same iron as the table; she couldn’t feel it.  Minutes passed, and finally she felt a tiny flicker from the plant.  It felt clean, content.  Simple.  And it was…moving.  She opened her eyes and focused on the spot of movement.  A small bug was crawling along a leaf.  “I can’t feel the plant,” she said, “but I can feel the bug.”

“Can you manipulate its life force?”

Nesta shook her head.  “I don’t want to kill it.”

“What?” Amren’s tone was incredulous.  “You don’t want to kill the bug?”

“It’s cute.  And it’s not going to hurt anyone.”

There was a long enough pause that Nesta looked up.  Amren was shaking her head.  “The girl who beheaded the King of Hybern doesn’t want to hurt a bug because it’s cute.”

She gestured at it.  “Look, it’s got all those little spots on its shell.  And the little antennae, they’re…waving.  It doesn’t mean any harm.”  

Amren’s expression shifted from incredulous to intensely focused.  “Can you sense its intent?”

Nesta shrugged.  “I don’t know, it just sounds…feels…benign.”

“Have you been able to sense people’s intentions before?”

“I’ve never really tried.  I mean, I can feel Cassian’s but, you know, the bond.  And he’s remarkably easy to read even without it.”

“Try with me.”

Pursing her lips, Nesta shifted the focus of her power to Amren and just sat for a moment, listening to the complex force flowing under that fair skin.  “You’re…sharp, for lack of a better word,” she said, finally.  “That’s not an intention, but I don’t know how else to describe it.”  

“Do you remember how the King felt?” Amren asked softly, leaning in, silver eyes fixed on the swirling gray-blue.

“No,” Nesta replied automatically, then paused to remember.  She called up the feel of the King when he sat on that throne of bones, conducting the mindless members of his court, thriving on the dismay of his prisoners, on the pain.  Then, when he was readying that Cauldron blast, she had been able to feel his gleeful anticipation at the destruction it would wreak, like a staccato beat.  She had thought it was the Cauldron she had felt, but the Cauldron did not have emotions, did not have an opinion about anything outside of itself.  Finally, as he had appeared holding her father prisoner, the off-notes that had sounded - she had known he would kill him, regardless of what she did.  When she spoke again her voice was trance-like.  “Yes.  He was dissonant, he wanted to disrupt all the threads.  After he died, the chords got more…harmonious.  But then the Cauldron was broken, and you and Rhys…”  She couldn’t find words for the cacophony that had erupted, hadn’t been able to differentiate between emotion and power at all at that time.

“And the queens?”  The words were barely more than a whisper.

Nesta didn’t move or speak for a full minute before shaking her head.  “No, I can’t remember.  They felt wrong, but I don’t know that wasn’t just because they were so obviously uninterested in helping us.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Nesta watching the bug delicately nibbling a leaf, still listening to its tiny life force humming.  There was something soothing about it.  

“Well, we know you can’t feel plants and won’t kill bugs,” Amren finally said drily.  “Is there a creature you’re willing to practice on?  Other than Cassian, of course.”

Nesta shivered at the reminder of her near-disaster the day before.  “I don’t know, maybe Elain can point out some pests or something.”

Amren’s mouth twisted.  “She and her mate went back to the Dawn Court once it was clear you were okay, so we’ll have to wait a bit if you’re going to insist on that.”  Nesta had forgotten Elain and Lucien were on their honeymoon.  She wondered briefly why they had come back, how they had known, but Elain must have seen it and asked to return.  Sweet Elain.  She hadn’t thanked her, or Feyre for that matter.  Her history was filled with unspoken gratitude.

They worked for another hour on pinpointing and describing individual life forces.  She could easily reach about halfway across the city, but selecting an individual to follow among the crowds was challenging.  And exhausting.  By the time Mor came to bring them to dinner, Nesta was starving and had a headache brewing between her eyes.  The three walked towards the dining room.  Mor glanced at her out of the side of her eye.  “Looks like I miss all the fun,” she said casually.

Nesta snorted.  “Well, I would’ve issued you a formal invitation to witness my trauma, but I just don’t like you.”

Mor grinned, golden brown eyes glimmering with humor.  “Given that you apparently came out of wherever the hell you were in a killing rage, I think I’m grateful.”

“Now, now, I wouldn’t go into a killing rage without you to inspire me.  I was just a little confused.”

“Remind me to always be crystal clear with you, then.”  They slid into their seats at the table, the first to arrive.  Mor poured them each a glass of wine.  “I’ll tell you what, though,” she said, more seriously, “I felt you from here.  When you surged.  As soon as I regained my breath I winnowed to the townhouse, but I was told to let you and Cassian be and Feyre promptly dragged me right back here.  You’ve got some wicked power there, I’ve never felt anything quite like it.”

“I still think you should talk to Rhysand,” Amren interjected.  “He may be able to help.”

The High Lord appeared then as if summoned, Azriel a step behind him.  “What can I help with?”

“Managing your sister-in-law’s terrifying power,” Mor chirped, her bright tone at distinct odds with the words.

Rhys inclined his head towards Nesta as he took his seat.  “I’d be happy to.”  He snapped his fingers and food appeared on the table.  “Feyre and Cassian should be here shortly.  She said to get started without them.”

Mor frowned.  “Everything okay?”

Rhys chuckled and even Azriel gave a dry smile.  “Yes, just something has evidently gotten under Cassian’s skin and he needs to blow off some steam before appearing in polite company, apparently.”

Nesta and Mor looked at each other, then back at Rhys.  “Where exactly is the polite company?” Nesta inquired mildly.

“That is a very good question,” Feyre answered, entering the hall.  Cassian prowled behind her, expression stormy.  She dropped a kiss on Rhys’s cheek before slipping into the seat next to him.  Cassian threw himself onto his chair, arms crossed, and Nesta pressed his knee with her own.  He gave her an apologetic grimace that was probably intended to be a smile and she bit her lip to keep from laughing.  Glancing at Feyre did not help her maintain her composure, as her sister’s own lips were twitching.  Whatever had been gotten Cassian riled was clearly not of any dire nature.  Everyone watched him quietly for a moment while he chewed on his lip.

He finally erupted.  “I’m going to wallop her!” His hand slammed onto his table.

“Who?” Mor and Amren chorused, while Nesta asked, “Sabine?”

“Yes!”  He fumed silently for another moment before going on.  “She had the balls to ask me if I was going to invite her father to our mating ceremony.  Of course, she called him our father.  Why the hell is she even thinking about the ceremony?  How does she even know?  You’ve been able to feel the bond for all of a day.”

Azriel cleared his throat and said quietly, “Well, brother, you’ve been engaged for a few weeks now.”

Cassian glared at him.  “She had already asked about the wedding, just assuming she’d be part of it.  Now she’s trying to shove into the mating ceremony that Nesta and I haven’t even had a chance to discuss.”

Mor raised a hand.  “Um, I may have told Brisa about the events yesterday, and I guess she could have told Sabine.”

The warrior whirled to her.  “What?  Why?  When?”

“I ran into her at Rita’s last night,” she said, shrugging.  “She asked me if anything exciting was going on.  I didn’t realize it was a secret, I’m sorry.”

His brow furrowed and jaw clenched as he looked at Mor, anger darkening his eyes.  Nesta wanted to kiss the little wrinkles between those eyes, that muscle feathering in his cheek, but settled for brushing his hand with hers and murmuring, “It’s okay, Cass.  Everyone was going to learn eventually.”  

After a brief moment he glanced at Nesta, then took a breath and settled back into his chair, turning his attention to the food.  Tension still rolled off of him, but he did a passable job of acting normal as they ate and discussed the growing rift the death of the eldest mortal queen had caused on the Continent, and what that might mean for the movement going forward.  When the meal was finally over, and Rhys had agreed to join Nesta and Amren the next day, Nesta took Cassian’s proffered arm and they walked in silence to the roof.  “Can we go out?” he asked abruptly as he scooped her into his arms.

“Sure, if you want.”  So much for going home and finding inventive ways to relieve his tension, but they hadn’t gone dancing in a while, and dancing was often a good source of inspiration.

*****

They landed at the top of a hill unfamiliar to Nesta.  Cassian strode down the darkening street, fast enough Nesta nearly had to jog to catch up.  She took his hand and he slowed, squeezing hers in a gentle apology.  “Why does it bother you so much?” Nesta asked.  “They don’t mean any harm.”

He stopped abruptly and turned to her, his free hand moving to her cheek.  “Because you and I haven’t even had a chance to talk about this, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let them push you into something you don’t want.”  

“Oh.  So it’s not that you don’t…want…all of this?”

He laughed, loud and long, before taking her face between his hands and answering, “I want nothing more than to be with you for the rest of time.  I’d be mated or married or whatever you want tomorrow if we could arrange it.  But if we let Sabine and Mor and everyone take over, we’ll end up having half the Night Court at the ceremony.”  Nesta blanched at that idea, and there was a smile in his voice as he continued, “And since I highly doubt that’s what you want, I’m going to fight like hell to prevent it.”  He kissed her thoroughly, and a couple of kids on the street whooped.  “Now let’s go dance.”

The club was busy, almost as jam-packed as Rita’s always was, the music just as demanding.  “Let’s grab a drink first,” Cassian said in her ear as he steered her towards a booth.  Leaving her there with a kiss to her hair, he headed towards the bar.

“Cass!”

Nesta’s head snapped up at the unfamiliar voice, and she glanced at him where he had stopped, halfway across the floor.  She noted the stiffening of his posture, the subtle tightening of his hands into fists, as a tall, curvy female with large dark eyes and full lips approached.  “Hello, Tamirah,” he said warily.

“It’s been ages since I saw you last,” she replied brightly, “I was wondering when you’d come seek me out.”

“I’m not…” he started, then stopped, collecting himself.  “I’m with someone.”

She laughed, a high, fluttering sound.  “I heard you had someone sharing your bed,” she said, “but that never stopped you before.”

“This is different,” he said warmly.  

Nesta smiled internally at that warmth, though her impassive mask did not shift.  She pretended to be watching the dancers as his eyes flicked to her, then felt Tamirah’s attention shift to her as well.  “Oh, she is lovely, though I heard she’s colder than ice.  Well she’d be welcome to join us, you know I’m always up for that.  And I know you’ve always enjoyed having multiple females at once as well.”  Nesta could feel his flinch down the bond.  The tall female moved as if to run a hand over his chest but he snarled at her, viciously enough that all the nearby dancers stopped and stared.  She took an involuntary step backwards, then laughed again to cover her confusion.  The others shuffled away before resuming their dance, continuing to glance nervously at the warrior.

“You know,” she drawled, cocking her head to the side as she studied Nesta, who still pretended her attention lay elsewhere, “she looks just like the High Lady.”  Her eyes moved back to Cassian, a nasty smile playing over her lips.  “There was a rumor that you and Feyre had a fling before the High Lord claimed her.”  Cassian’s Siphons flared a little, but Tamirah didn’t notice the brief flash of red light.  “She certainly has a taste for powerful males, doesn’t she.  First the Spring Court lord, then you, then Rhysand…I know you and the High Lord are close as brothers, but I guess he wasn’t willing to share.  Looks like you found your own version to play with.”  

Nesta had nearly leaped from her seat at the reference to Feyre, but on feeling Cassian’s anger flare through the bond she settled back to see how he would handle it.  There was nothing of his usual warmth and kindness in his face; no, he looked truly menacing as he stepped towards Tamirah, towering over her.  “If you ever - EVER - insult our High Lady again I will break your fucking neck,” he said, voice low but all the more threatening for it.  “It just so happens that Nesta is Feyre’s sister.  And my mate.  So do me a favor, Tamirah.  Since you love to spread rumors, tell everyone you know that I am mated, and to be married, and completely in love with the High Lady’s sister.  And get the hell out of my face.”

Tamirah obeyed, scurrying for the door with real fear in her face.  Nesta couldn’t help it, she reached a tendril of power out to her.  The tall female’s life force was limp, held together by thousands of tiny threads that spread out to others in a huge fragile web.  There were no thicker threads to anchor her, no strong connections to anyone.  Nesta couldn’t be angry at her, she just felt…sorry.  Even when she had herself barricaded behind ice, Feyre and Elain had always kept their bonds strong and now she was tethered to so many.  This female had no one really, just the illusion of a lot of someones.

A tug from one of Nesta’s someones drew her focus back to Cassian.  He was watching her, expression wary and a hint of sadness in his eyes, and he turned away as she met his gaze.  She rose and eased through the crowd which had encroached upon Cassian again, until she was standing next to him, lightly brushing his arm with her shoulder.  He just looked down at her, and there was something in his face she couldn’t read, a void where the humor usually underlay everything else.  She ran a questioning internal finger down the bond and it came to her - shame.  Her chest ached, and she searched for what to say to let him know she understood, that she didn’t care about anyone he’d let into his life or his bed before her.  

“So, I take it she won’t be sending us a Solstice card?”  His lips twitched but he didn’t reply, and the flash of humor didn’t reach his eyes.  She tried again.  “We can seat her next to Sabine’s father at the ceremony.  I bet they’d hit it off.”  A low growl but a slight thaw.  “I’ve always wondered what the role of the third person was in a multi-partner situation.  It sounds like she’s an expert.  Maybe I should go ask her for information.  Maybe she’s written a book.”  Now he was struggling not to laugh, and she nudged him with her shoulder.  “I never thought you were celibate for five hundred years.”

He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.  “I know, it’s just…running into her with you here…”

“Well,” she said, tone practical, “I imagine if we wanted to avoid all of your former lovers we could never leave the apartment.”  

He started to protest, but paused.  “Okay, you may have a point.”  

“And as long as I’m the only one around at present-”

“You are.”

“- then I don’t care.”  He wrapped his arms around her then, pressing her into his chest and kissing her temple before resting his chin on her head.  She felt the tension he’d been vibrating with leave him.  Another question flitted through her, but now was not the time to ask it.  She tugged him towards the bar.  While they waited for the attention of one the bartenders, she read the various signs that listed the different drinks.

“What’s a Gravedigger?” she asked.

Cassian laughed.  “Trouble in a glass.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s some specialty cocktail they make.  I had two once and it put me completely under the table, Az had to drag me home.”  He laughed again at the memory.

“I want to try one.”

“No you don’t.”

Her eyes flashed.  “Are you telling me what I can have?”

“Of course not,” he said, raising his hands in surrender.  “You want a Gravedigger, that’s fine, I can carry you home.  But don’t blame me in the morning.”  The female bartender turned to them then, and Cassian raised his eyebrows at Nesta.  She nodded.  “I’ll have a brown ale,” he said, “and the she’ll have a Gravedigger.  And a glass of water.”  The golden-haired bartender was grinning, her exotic face alight with humor as she returned with the drinks.  Nesta took a cautious sip of hers.  It didn’t burn as she expected, but instead a gentle warmth flowed through her.  She rolled a second sip on her tongue, savoring the way the sweetness of fruit and honey was balanced by the slight sharpness of the alcohol.  A third sip and she felt strong, bold.  What had Cassian been worrying about?  She drank the rest down and then grabbed his hand and dragged him out onto the dance floor.  

They danced forever, Nesta surrendering herself completely to the music, the pulse of the crowd, all those bright lives moving around her, with her.  The life force flowed through all, she was everyone and everyone was her.  There was no way of knowing how much time had passed, time really didn’t mean anything anyway, it was just a construct after all, when strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her away from the small group she had joined.  She swayed slightly and her back hit against something warm and solid.  She tilted her head back and found herself looking up a vaguely familiar pair of nostrils.  Her focus shifted and there were amused hazel eyes behind those nostrils.  She spent a moment going back and forth between nostrils and eyes.  Odd that she could control that.  Something tickled her face and she reached a hand up to brush it away, but it wasn’t the light feather she was expecting.  Instead her hand smacked the face above hers, one finger going into an eye.  Ew.  There was a deep grunt that reverberated through her back, and the face above hers pulled back.  Now she could see a mouth above a strong chin, and black hair curving down around it.  “Must you poke my eye out, love?” a familiar voice asked.

“Is she okay?” came a husky female voice from nearby.  Nesta turned towards the sound and saw a blur of golden hair surrounding sapphire-colored eyes in a narrow pink oval.  She blinked, and the blur coalesced into a face with sharp, exotic features.

“I think so,” replied the voice behind her.  “I guess I better bring her home though.  I don’t know what you put in that shit, but Mother above…”

There was a warm laugh.  “Need help?”  

“No thanks.”  The face above her swung from side to side, making her dizzy, and she felt herself being hoisted off the ground.  She was floating, suspended, and she stretched her arms over her head, bending backwards over the two hard beams that held her up.  Other hands brushed hers, and there was a murmuring as she passed weightlessly through the crowd.  Then they were outside, the cool air bracing.  She gulped it down like water and felt her head clear a little.  She knew these arms that held her.

“Cassian?” she asked.

“Yes, love?” he rumbled, as something dark spread behind him.  His wings.

“I love you, Cassian,” she said, tears starting in her eyes.  How had she never really realized this?  How deep this went?  How it affected every part of her?

“That’s a relief,” he replied, then kissed her forehead and launched them into the sky.

The cold air nipped at her skin and tore at her hair as they sailed over the city.  “We’re flying!” she shouted.

“Mother’s tits, Nesta, we fly every day.”

“But we’re really flying!  Don’t you know how…how…what a miracle that is?”

His whole body vibrated and she grabbed at his shoulders in case they should fall.  What was wrong with him?  Was he having some sort of fit?  They touched down on a roof and he set her gently down before bending over, howling with laughter.  She didn’t know what was so funny, so she just waited.  Finally, he regained control and straightened.  “Come on, love,” he said, scooping her up again, “let’s get you to bed.”

The apartment was dark as he kicked open the door, and there was a patter of tiny feet and then a small squeak, then lights flared to reveal the fluffy gray cat.  “Willow,” Nesta said, tears welling again.  “Willow, I missed you, kitty.  I love you.”  

Cassian carried her down the hall with the cat trotting behind and set her carefully on the bed then knelt to remove her shoes.  She sat watching him, the way the hair had escaped from its tie to fall across his cheekbone, his fingers undoing the straps of her shoes.  He pulled her to her feet and deftly flipped back the bedcover, then began unbuttoning her dress.  She pushed at him.  “I shouldn’t,” she said, and the words sounded uncomfortably loud in her ears.  “I have a mate.”  

“Yes, love, you do.  Me,” he replied, continuing to gently undress her.  Desire flared through her at the scrape of his fingers against her bare shoulders as he eased the dress down.  He picked her up and lay her down on the bed, then tucked the covers around her.  She grabbed his shirt when he tried to turn away, and tugged him down so his face was close to hers.  

“I want…” she couldn’t think of what she was going to say.  He waited patiently until she remembered.  “I want you to fuck me.”

“Not tonight, sweetheart,” he said, a smile in his voice.  

“But why not?”  She smacked him lightly on the shoulder.  

“You’re drunk.”

“Nah, I’m not drunk.  That’s just a…” Words were really hard to find.  “An excuse.  I’m not…I’m not a child.  Don’t you want to fuck me?”

He sat on the edge of the bed, cupped the side of her face in his hand, and brushed his thumb across her cheekbone.  “Yes, love, I do.  But not like this.”  She started to protest but he pressed a gentle finger against her lips.  “If you still want me to in the morning,  I promise I will.”  He rose then and left the room before she could respond.  Clinking sounded down the hall and she could hear Willow’s excited mews.  Lights turned out in the apartment, and then Cassian came back into the bedroom and set a glass of water on her nightstand.  He shut out the lights, but she could still hear the rustle as he removed his clothes.  Good.  Once he was naked in bed she could convince him.  But first, she would just close her eyes and rest for a minute.  She felt the bed sink under his weight, then his arms wrapped around her and pulled her against him.  In just a moment, she’d begin seducing him.  She just…needed…a…little…rest…

to the hilt

request from anon: Murder Song by Aurora + Jimin Gang/Criminal!AU ❤

Originally posted by kpopidolaegyooo

[Jimin x Reader]

Genre: Criminal!au, angst

Words: 4650

—> Park Jimin, you think to yourself, you’re mine.

A/N: this is a part of my one year anniversary batch - thank you to the anon who requested it! hope you all enjoy :) xoxo


There were many times when you questioned why you decided to choose this profession.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

what's with all these straight boys playing a gay dating sim and being shocked when they're not really interested in it? And then hugely focusing on its flaws, perceived and otherwise, because shocker, the game's main positive draw is uninteresting to them. I know I wouldn't be interested in straight dating simulators at all, so I don't play them or criticize them for how utterly stupid most of them are, yet people are for some reason expecting a ton more from DD.

Because it was backed by a Comedy Gaming youtube channel whose primary audience is teenage boys, and it’s a meme game that got tons of attention and buzz based on being a meme game.

Except they tried to actually do it as not a meme game, they tried to play it legit, but of course expectations worked against them in that.

When you point this out people get mad, like how dare you think it was a joke, but that’s bullshit when it’s a game with a push campaign revolving entirely around dad jokes and memes like ‘dadsonas’ with a character creator that has super saiyan hair in it, backed by the fucking Game Grumps

I’m not saying it should have been a joke, but it was clearly pushed as at least partially a joke, so it shouldn’t be surprising people who bought into it based on that didn’t like it.

As an aside, I think trying to characterize everyone criticizing the game a ‘straight boys’ is wildly disingenuous and defense force to the max

My Two Cents About Yandere Simulator

I don’t honestly remember when I first got into Yandere Simulator. But, what I do remember that I had fell in love with the game after seeing people do Let Play’s of it. I used to love going on YandereDev’s youtube channel and seeing updates about the game. I was hyped up about getting the game.

And then, I discovered @stop-yanderedev.

At first, I was like “oh great, some pointless hate blog”. I had seen blogs like that before and expected this blog to be run by a bunch of butt-hurt babies who have zero reasons to hate the game.

But, after going through the blog, reading all the posts and receipts, I woke the fuck up. I didn’t know how shitty the dev was and what he had done before. I also didn’t realize how shitty some of the fans were and what lengths they would go for to make “some silly sjws triggered X3″. The really cool mods over at @stop-yanderedev made me realize a lot of things about the game. And, I am so fucking glad that I found them.

I like Yandere Simulator, I really do. I think it’s an interesting concept with a lot of potential. But, the way YandereDev is going about this, I am very disappointed. I can’t believe that the fans of Yandere Simulator can come up with much more interesting concepts than the dev himself.

So, to get to the point of my little rant, let’s start talking about the things that I think can make Yandere Simulator better.


1. The Protagonist

[ Picture taken straight from the official Yandere Simulator website ]

Firstly, I do not like Yandere-chan/Ayano Aishi. She is bland and uninteresting to me. I do not know much about anime, but what I do know is that yanderes are supposed to pretend to be this cutesy, harmless person to hide the fact that they’re fucking insane. I’ll admit, I like the idea of having a yandere who is emotionless until they meet their obsession. But, I would love to see that emotionless yandere pretend to be sweet and innocent to hide the fact that they’re apathetic and cruel to those who get in the way of their obsession. Ayano would be a much better character if she pretends to feel something to trick people into thinking that she’s harmless and wouldn’t hurt a fly.

I’ll admit, I love her name. Ayano Aishi rolls off the time rather nicely. Plus, Yan-chan is a really cute nickname. Her design doesn’t look too bad, either. But her backstory and personality is just so…meh.

[ Picture taken straight from the official Yandere Simulator website ]

Same goes for Yandere-kun. From what I’ve heard, he’s sadistic and looks like another anime character. Aren’t Yandere-kun and Ayano-chan the same person? Why is Ayano apathetic and emotionless, while Yan-kun is sadistic and possessive? Why can’t he look like a male-version of Ayano? I would honestly love to see Yan-kun with a ponytail. It would be so cute! But no, we get this asshole right here.

Honestly, the protagonist is the most important character in the game. They’re the ones that will be remembered the most. If YandereDev wants his game to be the best it can be, he needs to work on Yandere-chan/kun and make them not boring.

2. Senpai

[ Picture taken straight from the official Yandere Simulator website ]

Senpai/Taro Yamada is Ayano’s obsession, not to mention the main crush of all most of the rivals. If that’s the case, then why the fuck is he so BORING? I don’t care if he’s sitting in the “main protagonist seat”, how is that boy able to get so many girls fawning over him? He looks like a generic anime boy you see time and time again. He has no character whatsoever, as far as I can tell.

Now, I love Senpai. He’s probably one of my favorite characters (alongside Oka, Kokona, Midori, Shin, and Budo). Why do I like him, even though he’s boring? I like him, as in my version of him. I have so many headcanons, so many ideas about him that it made me love him.

My version of Senpai is that he’s kind and caring. He’s an awkward dork with a love for nature and animals. He likes reading and drawing. He loves his friends and family to death. He’ll stand up for others and risk his own safety for the sake of those he cares about. Senpai is not Senpai, but Taro Yamada. In my version of him, I give reasons as to why people would fall for him in the first place. I don’t just say “Oh, people like him because he ended sitting in some specific chair”, I give a real, valid reason for it.

Senpai has so much potential. I really hope he doesn’t stay the boring character that he is now.

3. The Rivals

There are rivals here that I like and make sense. Osana I can see as a rival since she had known Taro for a very long time and I honestly love the friends-to-lovers trope to death. Amai and Oka are adorable and Asu is amazing.

Then, there are rivals that I don’t like and that don’t make sense. Why the fuck would Hanako care if her brother got a girlfriend? I get that she loves him a lot and that she wants his attention, but what the fuck? If I was her, I would embarrass the hell out of Taro and tease him about all the attention he’s getting. I wouldn’t care if he got a girlfriend, unless that girlfriend is a fucking asshole or a crazy bitch. Also, why would two, grown-ass women be interested in student like Taro? I find that unsettling that two, grown-ass women would want to fuck a teenager. And, isn’t it illegal for teachers to date students?

Plus, their names. Oh my god, their names are fucking stupid. They’re not real names you would hear in real life or in an actual anime. They’re names that fucking middle school weebs in anime club would make up.

You want meaningful names, YandereDev? Then, DO YOUR MOTHERFUCKING RESEARCH. Don’t just type some adjective into Google Translate and see what that word is in Japanese. Go find some sites that provide you with actual Japanese names and their meanings, like Behind The Name or something.

Look, here’s an example!

[ Picture taken from the Yandere Simulator Wiki ]

Look at Oka Ruto. She’s the leader of the Occult Club and a fanatic for the supernatural, right? So, she’s a pretty spooky person. What name would fit her nicely?

How about Amaya Kuroba, instead? Amaya (雨夜) means “night rain” and Kuroba (黒羽) means “black wing”. Perfect for a spooky girl like Oka! You know how I got that name? I did my FUCKING RESEARCH, that’s how!

Or, or! What about Osoro Shidesu?

[ Picture taken from the official website ]

She is the leader of the delinquents and is known to be the strongest person at Akademi High. What name could possibly suit this badass girl?

Shinobu Tsuyoshi could fit! Shinobu (忍) means “endurance” and Tsuyoshi (剛) means “strong” or “tough”. Wow, another fitting name that’s actual Japanese! The wonders of doing your research.

In short, rethink the rivals. Their names need changing and some need to be replaced. And by some, I mean Mida, Muja, and Hanako need to go.

4. Info-chan

[ Picture taken from the official site ]

Info-chan is a character I’m very interested in. I find her character intriguing. A girl who seemingly knows everything about everyone at school? Sign me the fuck up.

But, when it comes to her “currency”, she loses me. Panty shots are dumb and gross. I don’t care about it being an “anime trope”, it’s fucking stupid. Of all the things, why did it had to be panty shots?

The only thing I have to say is that her currency needs to change. Be more creative with it, because panty shots just don’t cut it. AT ALL.

5. Character Designs

Most of the characters are really pale. Like, what the fuck is up with that? Not every Japanese person is pale like a goddamn white person. Asian people can have dark or brown skin. How do I know? BECAUSE I’M A FUCKING ASIAN WHO HAS BROWN SKIN AND I’M SICK OF SEEING PEOPLE THINK ALL ASIAN ARE PALE AS SHIT. Newsflash, we aren’t. Want examples? Look at Asians from the Philippines, or from India. Hell, look at Asians who are also black. Dark/brown skinned Asians exist, folks. But also, everyone looks the same. The girls have the same body type, save for their boobs, and face. So do the boys. Would kill YandereDev to at least have some diversity with the students’ body types and faces? Probably.

Not only that, why are female high school students wearing female middle school uniforms? And why are the skirts so short? Akademi High is a prestigious private school, right? So, their uniforms should look nice and mature. Like this:

Or, it could like this:

These uniforms are far more appealing and mature than the sailor fuku. These would suit the female students of Akademi High far more than the sailor fuku.

Also, on the subject of Akademi High being a prestigious, shouldn’t it be stricter about their dress codes? As shown in the pictures above, the students’ hair is not bright, rainbow colors but natural colors. Through research (yes, again), I gathered that Japanese students are not allowed to dye their hair bright, wild colors due to their strict dress codes. So, wouldn’t make sense for Akademi High to forbid their students from dying their hair wild colors?

To put it in short, make the uniforms look like they belong in a private, Japanese high school and making characters diverse isn’t hard.


And, that’s pretty much it! Like I said, Yandere Simulator has so much potential to be a really fun game. But, if it keeps going in the direction it’s already going at, then you can bet your ass that I’m not gonna buy it.

Again, thank you @stop-yanderedev for helping me realize how shitty the game and dev actually is. You guys are really awesome and I really hope you see this post.

So yeah, thanks for reading! I’m probably going to get shit on for stating my opinion, but whatever.

I also might post my version of how I think Yandere Simulator should be like, so watch out for that!

~Ari

Princess

(Chuck x Reader)

Request:  OMG!!!!Could you do a Chuck Bassxreader where he has to win her trust because she knows about his playboy past? And he’s like super extravagant about it?


You had heard a lot about Chuck Bass, most of it wasn’t really that flattering. He was a playboy who enjoyed fooling around with every woman he met, so naturally you shut him down the first time you met him when he walked up to you at one of Nate’s parties.

You hadn’t expected him to try again after that. He was quite persistent, you had to give him credit for that. Clearly he didn’t take rejection that well, being the self-centered, arrogant person he was. That’s what you thought this was about anyway. What else could it be? It wasn’t likely that someone like him would just fall head over heels for you.

It was true, he wasn’t madly in love but he was indeed intrigued. It didn’t happen every day that a girl wasn’t impressed or even mildly interested when he started to talk to her.



„Y/N.“ Nate called out to you. Your parents were friends and although you didn’t hang out much together it wasn’t that unusual for him to talk to you. Though you didn’t want to talk to him today because you knew what it was about. Chuck. What else? You picked up your pace and hurried along, hoping you’d get into class before he caught you.

„Nate.“ You say courtly when he steps in front of you just as you were about to reach the front door, „I didn’t see you there.“

„You did.“ He says and smiles, „Because you probably know what I want to talk about.“

„Tell him I say no.“ You answer annoyed, „Again.“

„He’s really not that bad once you get to know him.“

„I won’t go out with him.“

„Y/N…pleeease he won’t stop bothering me if you say no again.“

„Nathaniel, that is not my problem.“

„We’re friends right? Do it for me?“

„One date, Nate, one.“

„Thank you.“



You picked out a dress and looked at yourself in the mirror with a heavy sigh. You really had let yourself been persuaded to do this.

The limousine was already waiting for you when you opened the door and stepped outside.

„I’m glad you finally accepted my invitation.“

„You damn well know Nate coaxed me into this, which was your intention from the start I assume?“

„It was but only because you wouldn’t talk to me.“

„I have good reason not to.“

He smirks a little and opens the door for you to get in. The car takes you quite a few miles outside of town before finally stopping. Your mouth almost dropped open a bit when you saw where you were.

„You rented an amusement park?“ You say, looking around shocked. There was no one else here and you had everything for yourself.

„I did.“

„That is oddly romantic, considering you’re the one I’m here with.“
„What can I say. I have a romantic nature.“

„You don’t have a romantic bone in your body.“

„Well I tried. Do you like it at least?“

„I do…“

Chuck suddenly takes your hand and leads you over to the Ferris wheel. The whole park is illuminated and you have a wonderful view over the park so high up.

„You look incredibly beautiful tonight.“ Chuck says and closes the distance between you two, the tiny cabin getting even smaller as he slides closer to you until your legs are touching.

To tell the truth he did make you a bit nervous. The problem wasn’t that he was unattractive or anything because dear god he wasn’t. Rather that he was a womanizer and you couldn’t trust him.

„Thank you.“ You try to stay calm and quickly direct your attention to the outside so he doesn’t see you blushing at his words.  

He brings his hand under your chin and tilts your head back, making you look at him, „Why do you resist so much?“ He asks, a smirk spreading on his lips, „I know you’re not as uninterested as you like to act.“

„I can’t trust you that’s why.“

„I have a past but that doesn’t mean I can’t change the way I act.“

„Well can you really?“ You weren’t too convinced of it.

„Let me proof it to you.“

„Chuck Bass, you get one chance. Don’t blow it.“

„Alright princess.“ He cubs your cheeks and leans in to kiss, making you melt into him as his hands wander further down to your waist and he pulls you close against his chest.