i know this is so cheesed up

Ryan left for 10 days today. It’s the longest time we’ll have been apart since we started dating, and he’ll be without cellphone service (he’s seeing the Eclipse in Oregon).

He knew I was sad, so he brought me my favorite bagel with vegan cream cheese from the coffee shop down the street, and then..

I went to the kitchen table after he left and there were 10 pieces of paper tied up in red string, each with a day on them. I unrolled the one titled “today” and he had typed me a page-long poem about how much he loves me.

I have one for every day that he is gone, so I’ll never have to go a day without hearing that he loves me.

anonymous asked:

just played dream daddy and joseph????? is such??????? a charming and wonderful guy???????? hes such a good friend???????? and dad holy shit hes so good w his kids seeing him loving and taking care w his kids is so amazing to see aaaaa :') i know the drama surrounding him but when i actually play it its just... hes just a dude w a broken marriage who tries really hard to do better and failing in some areas? idk man i love him sign me up as another member of #josephdefensesquad haha

IS HE NOT THOUGH????????????? HE’S SO PURE AND SWEET AND HONESTLY HOW CAN YOU HATE A MAN WHOSE EXPLETIVES ARE SO FUCKING HILARIOUS?? LAWRENCE OF ARABIA!! CHEESE AND CRACKERS!!

The way he acts around his kids are honestly some of the best father/kid interactions in the entire game save for Brian. I know Joseph’s route is certainly one of the more ‘boring’ ones, but…He’s just so sweet and charming, I couldn’t help myself!

#JosephDefenseSquad, AAWWAAAYYY!!

6

How do you feel in this moment [after your Oscar win]?
I feel good. You know, it’s not my style to just kinda wake up and go: “Oh! I’m an Oscar winner! Oh my Gosh. Let me go for a run.” I’m good with it. I’ll have some mac and cheese, and I’ll go back to washing my daughter’s hair tomorrow night. But…

Here go some pictures of my wife Khadija Shari.

Because I’m done talking about racists today.

(IG: @khadijashari)

“Bae, I need a good swimsuit catalog photo for my portfolio.”

Me: I gotchu.

“Bae, I'ma go grab a table real quick, make sure you get me one cheese and one pepperoni.”

Me: I gotchu.

“Bae, they wasn’t ready for us!  You stay coming through with the assist!”

Me: I gotchu.

“Bae, you really killed it last night with that deep condition.  My hair is so on point right now.”

Me: I gotchu.

“Bae, I know you don’t swim, but thanks for coming out to the pool with me today anyway.”

Me: I gotchu.

“Bae, you know what I’m thinking right now?”

Me: I definitely gotchu.

“Bae, let’s hit this dance class and show em what’s up.”

Me: I gotchu.

“Bae, make sure I don’t give the ‘gram too TOO much, but just enough.”

Me: I gotchu.

“Bae, I got this temporary septum for you. Do ya hair like mine so we can match tonight.”

Me: I gotchu.

EDIT:

Y’all!  This ain’t my wife!  I just follow her in Instagram!  I forget that the Internet is bigger than just my lil readership who knows me and my jokes.

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 2

We did it amigos. Another list! I am so grateful that you all are sharing your ideas to help inspire others (faith in humanity restored)

  1. “Where is my fucking pudding?!”
  2. “I thought we agreed to never use butter for that reason again…”
  3. “Well if it’s the guy who never shuts up about toilet paper!”
  4. “Honey, did you see my sniper rifle?”
  5. “Oops…”
  6. “God damn it he died. Whatever. Just leave him there.”
  7. “Listen, I know you’re upset, but please put down the baking soda before someone gets hurt.”
  8. “Look, about the monkey…”
  9. “I don’t understand! I only used a finger.”
  10. “It’s not as hard as you think, I promise.”
  11. “well this is what i call hell of a night”
  12. “How could an entire school disappear?”
  13. “What do you mean the brownies are "not quite brownies”?“
  14. "Yes, I understand that its cool, but why does your toaster have wings?” “Well its alive of course. It flies.”
  15. “Don’t turn that on!”
  16. “Wait…I’m also- technically- underage and you’re a stranger…should I be screaming also?”
  17. “I though you meant "literally” metaphorically. “
  18. "Ok so don’t get mad but I might have started a war.”
  19. “Good morning… I see the assassins failed again.”
  20. “You’re a murderer, how are you working at a hospital?”
  21. “That cat just stole my cereal!”
  22. “Did you see that? Please tell me you saw it.”
  23. “Hey, can you stop shooting people right now? We’re trying to sleep.”
  24. “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS KEITH!”
  25. “If you think I’m leaving you and your demon eyes and evil horns you’re wrong.”
  26. “What do you mean, this isn’t Earth?”
  27. “Damn it, ____! Not peanuts again!”
  28. “Why did I just press the big red button?”
  29. “So tell me again why this dead body is being sent to Goodwill?”
  30. “Lucifer, I know that we said we would share rent but you never said anything about your brother living with us.”
  31. “God dammit, I’m supposed to be a bat! Why the hell am I a possum, Karen?!”
  32. “Sarah, where’s the dog?” “Up in space?”
  33. “You had only one job and it wasn’t even a difficult task, but seriously, how did you end up like this!?”
  34. “Well I never said I WASN’T going to kill the bartender …”
  35. “I mean, it was only a small eldritch being, so it wasn’t that bad…”
  36. “Hold me back bro!”
  37. “I think there’s a new lifeform evolving in my fridge.”
  38. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
  39. “Can we have lunch now, or do you still want to continue looking at dead people?”
  40. “I can’t believe you ate my cheese…we’re over”
  41. “Sometimes I wonder why we’re still friends.” “Because I turned you into a cyborg after being shredded by an explosion and you owe me.” “…Fair enough.”
  42. “Well, I didn’t quite expect to wake up pregnant either and yet… here we are, so can you please pass me that can of bread?”
  43. “Ok, I know I said ‘You can throw a hairbrush at them’, but I didn’t actually mean it!”
  44. “When I told you to feed the dog I didn’t expect you to feed him the neighbors cat.”
  45. “Clearly, you’ve never gotten rid of a body before…”
  46. “This sort of thing never happened when I was dating your brother.”
  47. Sometimes, I wonder about you. And then I worry.“
  48. ” Wait, wait, wait, start from the very beginning. how did you manage to set the house on fire with that??“
  49. "For fucks sake, dude, how many times do I have to tell you that that’s not what penises are for?”
  50. “One woman’s terrorist is another woman’s freedom fighter.”
  51. “This isn’t right… the humans shouldn’t be able to move on their own.”
  52. “Why is unicorn blood on our shopping list?”
  53. “Must you unhinge your jaw like that when you eat? It’s disgusting.”
  54. “You’ve violated the law, my trust, and your friend. Tell me, why should I believe anything you say?”
  55. “No, no don’t open the fridge, I need to keep they eyeballs cold.”
  56. “did he break his jaw again by falling down a flight of stairs?” “Passive aggressive much?”
  57. “For the last time, put the declaration of independence back!”
  58. "That isn’t permanent, right?”
  59. “You know, ripping someone’s beating heart right out of their chest with your bare hand looks cool in anime, but irl it’s just unsanitary…”
  60. “She didn’t tell you” “Tell me what” “He’s dead”
  61. “But his dad is an asshole–” “HIS AUTHOR IS AN ASSHOLE”
  62. “You are here and you haven’t tried to kill me yet. You must want something from me.”
  63. “The salesperson made a flying tentacle monster sound a lot more alluring, I swear!”
  64. “Okay…the radiator just growled at me”
  65. “Dude, were you listening to me? Why are you barking?” “I’m not barking. I thought YOU were barking!”
  66. “How did you get that bump on your lip”
  67. “Buddy. You need to chill, and put that knife away before I get out my gun.”
  68. “ ” I dare you to take your shirt off" “ no” “ I doubledare you” “No” “I tripledare you” “ god dammit Steve , im not wearing a Shirt!”“
  69. "Why the fuck are there founding fathers in our living room”
  70. “Girls only say 'I will not dignify that with a response.’ when they’ve done the thing you’ve just accused them of.” “Do you know this, because you’ve done it?” “I will not dignify that with a response.”
  71. “They think we’re terrible but really we’re only mediocre”
  72. “You’d think by now we’d stop bringing death into these things. Look at them, they have anxiety!”
  73. “Ok, first of all asshat, stop touching me. Second, that is never going to work out! Third, stop TOUCHING me.”
  74. “So if I do understand, you’re telling me that you created insects robots. The same one that destroyed the city. ”
  75. “Why is THIS in your fridge? This is some serious contraband.”
  76. “Please tell me you’re joking about marrying the bastard’s son we call Satan.” “ Don’t talk about your mother like that!!”
  77. “Did you explode the microwave again?!”
  78. "Honey where’s the dog?” “Like I said, I’m making a smoothie.”
  79. “Fifteen bucks you can’t hook up with Satan.” “Make it twenty.”
  80. “I don’t know, maybe because he has some semblance of taste?
  81. "What could possibly make you think eating three tons of cheese for the mice in radiation-test labs was okay?!”
  82. “Who actually let the dogs out?”
  83. “Hey, you don’t know how many bodies are buried in my backyard.”
  84. “I told you to kill me.” “I did. Just this morning.” “Well, shit!”
  85. “So… This isn’t the end, is it? I mean I still want to hang out with you at least. Maybe go for another space adventure, hm?”
  86. “I’m sorry, it was the HEAT OF THE MOMENT,”
  87. "Hey, wanna go out for a romantic moonlight killing spree?”
  88. “So, you’re into …..? Huh, I never would’ve known.”
  89. “Did you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed”
  90. “What are you doing?”
  91. “But really, why would anyone need two dozen armadillos?”
  92. “You can’t keep 'solving’ your problems by going to another dimension!”
  93. “I still can’t believe you assassinated a unicorn.”
  94. “Wait, you have FOUR knives?” “No, no. I have four knives ON me.”
  95. “I’ve killed a man using only a copy of Hamlet and a computer mouse. I am NOT afraid of you!" 
  96. "What the hell are those?”
  97. “Are you sure you’re not an arsonist?”
  98. “I know, right? You’d suspect any of them of secretly being an alien, but not…”
  99. “Why didn’t you stop?”
  100. “So, start explaining why there are dozens of puppies in my guest room.”

Let’s make another list. Part 3! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”. I want to give everyone a chance to contribute to our community. So as always, one prompt per amigo. Dankje! 

attention college freshmen/anyone feeding themselves for the first time

this is for you

it has come to my attention that some people are not feeding themselves properly bc they don’t know how to cook/aren’t sure how to cook on a budget. bc i am everyone’s mom (or at least everyone’s wise older sister) let me drop some very real Broke Rookie Cooking Knowledge. 2 of my favorite recipes are under the cut, both of which come out to $2 OR LESS PER SERVING.

-MAKE a MENU. pick out like 5 things you know how to make and buy JUST WHAT YOU NEED FOR THOSE THINGS. and also a few snacks, but otherwise, JUST THAT. don’t just buy some random-ass groceries you think you’ll need. (also, if you don’t know how to make 5 things, seriously just google simple dinner recipes. i used a “mississippi heirloom cookbook” my aunt gave me and got a ton of good ones.)

-tbh i don’t even buy snacks except for a giant box of cookies that lasts me like 2 weeks at a time and an assload of apples. snacking is bad for you, and if you don’t HAVE snacks, you can’t EAT snacks. fuck snacks.

-off-brand EVERYTHING. you think you can taste a difference? you CAN’T. get shit in cans. vegetables. pasta sauce. salsa. whatthefuckever. it all comes in cans, and it’s always cheaper. i have no idea why.

-whole grain bread and brown rice/pasta are not more expensive than the regular kind, and they keep you full longer. GET THEM.

-@ my americans, Dollar Tree has literally everything. every kitchen utensil. (it’s where i got my big-ass chef’s knife, and that bitch is still sharp.) dishes/cups. snacks. drinks. literal loaves of bread. all kinds of basics, from peanut butter to sriracha to progresso soup. some even have freezer sections. all for ONE DOLLAR. go to Dollar Tree first, then go to the grocery store for whatever you couldn’t find there. i s2g it saves me so much money. (they also have tupperware, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, EVERYTHING. for one dollar.)

-produce is way cheaper than you think. get some fresh vegetables. you really will start to feel like a bag of hot garbage if you don’t eat your veggies.

-COOK in ADVANCE. i work during the day and go to school in the evenings, then i come home and work out. lemme tell you, my ass does NOT wanna cook when im done with all that. cook shit in big quantities, stock up on tupperware (dollar treeeeee), and stick it in the fridge for later. when you’re exhausted and remember you have instant dinner already made, you will want to kiss yourself.

-find some sandwiches you love. make a lot of sandwiches. (pls for the love of God dont use kraft american singles tho. deli-sliced cheese is literally right next to it, and it is NOT more expensive.)`

-FUCK organic free-range shit. you got organic free-range money? GREAT. i sure as hell don’t, and neither do most people. don’t waste your money trying to live your foodstagram #goals while you’re young and poor.

-if you qualify for SNAP/EBT, GET THAT SHIT. there are some assholes out there that will tell you not to, to leave it for the ~real~ poor people. tell them, ‘motherfucker I AM REAL POOR.’ for real though, corporations take advantage of any assistance the government gives them and they still lobby for more. you’d be a fool not to do the same. 

now some cheap-ass recipes

Keep reading

  • what she says: I'm okay
  • what she means: Can I say my shit? Can I say my shit? I've got lots of shit to say. I've got lots of shit to say. I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can, I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth but then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can so they all go spilling onto my face. What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. I'll say it again. The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small. If you feel me, put your hands up, Come on! If you feel me, put your hands up! Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of a Pringle can! Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can, your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can. Pringles! Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get are about the width of your cans?! Just... make them wider?! I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry. I want to have a daughter. I want to have a daughter so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can. Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright? But that is priority número uno. I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body but I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym. Irony can be so painful. That's a Catch-22. Let's do this! I went to Chipotle, I went to Chipotle, got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line the guy tried to wrap the burrito but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out. He still wrapped it. I was like, dude you should have warned me! You're a burrito expert, you should have told me halfway through: "Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here" Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito! The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got half of it! Like, I'm okay with small mistakes, if you've got no more chicken I'll take pork. But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like half of it, like, half of it, like, half of it, like half of it right now,I think it's time I think it's time, I think that we break this down. I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are pringle cans, and burritos. The truth is, my biggest problem's you. I want to please you but I want to stay true to myself. I want to give you the night out that you deserve but I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it. Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of me needs you, part of me fears you. And I don't think that I can handle this right now, handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. Look at them, they're just staring at me like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself." I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. They don't even know the half of this right now, they don't even know the half of it. But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show so I should probably just shut up and do my job so here I go. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got half. You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme and if they still don't understand you then you run it one more time. I don't think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) I don't think that I can handle this right now (Hoo!) If you think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) Right now (Haa!) Now, handle this right, handle this right, handle this right now.Thank you, good night! I hope you're happy.
9

MARK AS YOUR BOYFRIEND

• y'all are always hugging each other
• hand kisses
• laughing your asses off with eachother
• him staring at your butt a lot instead of just smacking, grabbing, or rubbing it cause he’s a lil punk
• jk
• “just touch it and stop staring!”
• “my eyes are touching it y/n..”
• happy weirdos
• he thinks that he’s the funniest guy ever but you don’t so you fake laugh a lot
• but it’s only to gas him
• you love gassing up your hard working baby
• after his performances, you’ll usually be backstage with a towel, water, and kisses
• “you did well baby”
• he’d hug you but you’ll just push his sweaty ass away
• “ew get the fuck off of me”
• he’d straight face you and walk away, taking the towel and water but he would understand why you said that when he got to the dressing room and laugh with the other members about it
• soft boyfriend
• he just wants his kisses
• you are the big spoon sis
• running your fingers through his hair
• he’ll fall asleep fast
• you taught him how to braid so when he’s at the dorms, he tries to braid the members hair but fails
• he always tells you and you-
• “baby their hair is straight af, now look at mine”
• “ohh right”
• for some reason, he loves kissing your belly like you’re pregnant or sum
• but he tells you that it’s because y'all dance in bed a lot so you could never know
• which scares you most of the time
• “chill you dick”
• foot massages
• him writing smol songs about you
• he calls you cutie or princess or just baby instead of sexy or any name along those lines
• sitting on his lap
• not caring if you play around with the members because he knows where your heart is
• “i love this what did you put in it?!”
• “it’s ham and cheese”
• y'all are so bubbly
• not really that innocent
• y'all barely disagree with each other
• singing karaoke together
• ‘thirsty for love’ faced ass
• but as your relationship gets older, he comes around with the butt touching etc
• he’s such a tease
• he keeps his arm wrapped around you a lot
• going shopping together
• he can’t go thirty minutes without checking up on you
• he randomly raps in your ear when y'all are cuddling
• which drives you wild
• his voice is so cute and-
• he adores you and he thanks you everyday for being in his packed schedule ass life
• it’s really hard seeing him late at night when he’s been practicing with two groups all day nonstop
• so sometimes y'all hold eachother the tightest you can and lowkey tear up.
• yeah, y'all fall asleep in each other’s arms often
• you pray for him every night
• you cook him his favorite meal when he says that he’s hungry
• he cleans the plate everytime
• he calls you his wife a lot because i mean, you will be his wife
• he loves you a lot, just as much as you love him and he would never hurt you
• vice versa
• seriously, y'all are in a deep ass love

anonymous asked:

What if Stiles and Derek's first kiss is post-nogitsune? Would he feel like a thief? Would he mourn the body that Derek never held? Would each brush of fingertips or kiss to his temple be a betrayal? They'd probably talk about the scars too. Derek would understand-- to an extent. But he grew up not without his history on his skin so he'll never understand how it feels to have that ripped away.

Their lips brush and Stiles turns away a second later, breaths shallow, hands twitching against the folds of Derek’s shirt. There’s warm breath on his cheek, the ghost of beard still so close and all Stiles can think is that he wants this. He wants this. And…

It’s wrong.

Those fingers, twitching against Derek’s shirt, smooth and uncalloused. The scar that used to live above his third knuckle just a burn-hot memory in his mind.

Everything still feels off in his body, out of balance, and he remembers the way Derek used to look at him. All tension and frustration in ways he couldn’t start to make sense of. And now Derek’s lips are in reach, a short turn away, and he’s murmuring out “Stiles…?” and all Stiles can think is…

“Do you want me?”

He can feel the stall in Derek’s thoughts like a physical reaction, and he wonders if there was a subtle tell or if… if he’d just felt it, inside, the confusion a flicker of chaos in Derek’s chest. Can he do that? Feel chaos? The Nogitsune drank it in and Stiles…

“Stiles,” Derek breathes again, a quirk of amusement in his tone. Thumbs smooth down his hips and Stiles fights the urge to rise into the contact. “Thought I’d just answered that question.”

And Stiles could leave it at that, asked and answered. Except…

There should be a scar on his hip, long and thin, from a fence he’d scaled once and dropped down five times faster. Derek should be feeling that right now, that piece of Stiles’ history, that stupid ten year old adventure laid out across his skin. But the skin’s smooth. Blank slate.

He shivers, gripping tighter into Derek’s shirt.

“No, I––” He can’t think of how to explain it. The thoughts are a choked feeling in his throat, a twist in his gut. Something like guilt and fear and he doesn’t even know what answer he wants when he leans back enough to find Derek’s eyes and say: “Since when? Did you… I mean, before…”

He’s not sure Derek knows what he means, but there’s a hint of flush under that dark beard suddenly, and Stiles gets a little bit lost in the contrast.

“Last summer.”

“Last––?” It pulls Stiles back, his eyes startling up. That was… most of a year, that was before…

A sick lurch sets him falling back out of Derek’s grip. Too-smooth fingers (uncalloused) slip too easy from Derek’s chest. His sneaker-covered feet might as well be walking over glass and he’s being dramatic except that he’s really not. Because if Derek wanted him last summer…

“That wasn’t me.” It sounds wrong as he says it, stupid, because… he was there that summer. He remembers every moment spent with Derek, researching the Alphas, searching for hints of Boyd and Erica. Charged smirks and snark and quiet moments that felt more comfortable than they should. He remembers the moments before summer too, when the thought of Derek made his heart pound and his body thrum in a way that could have only meant fear, except it hadn’t only been fear. He’d been scared of the Alpha too, and the hunters, and that coil of electric heat only sparked through his gut for Derek. He remembers that, like he remembers the scars that aren’t there anymore, and he can’t help running his too-soft fingertips over the smooth flesh of his knuckle as he breathes out, faint and lost, “…Was that me?”

There’s a too long pause while the question burns back into his throat, buzzing through his limbs like a current until he realizes he’s shaking from them. Was that him? Helping Derek track the Alpha pack? Helping Scott learn to control his wolf? Sitting by his mom’s hospital bed, watching her lose the long war to her illness, pieces of her flaking away like old scars, like a whole identity, like––

A warm hand closes over his, large and gentle, grounding.

“It was you,” Derek says, simply. Like there’s no question, like nothing’s changed. Like Stiles hasn’t changed. 

But that’s wrong. He’s not the same person he was before the Nogitsune, and he’s not talking in the experiences change you, huh kind of way. He’d had scars before. He’d had… a whole life written on his skin. And then he’d crawled out from inside his possessed body’s throat, spawned out like some alien parasite or… clone and––

“My body died, back there.” Four months past, and he still can’t wrap his head around it. That he’d watched himself bitten and impaled, spasm and cracking and shatter to dust.

The scarred body. His real body.

And he was left in… this.

Long fingers uncurl, stretching out slow. Thin, pale digits fitting strangely perfect between Derek’s, and Stiles can only wonder what it would have looked like before.

“…What if I’m not real?” He watches Derek’s fingers twitch, barely perceptible, tightening like they’re fighting to hold onto him. And Derek’s lost enough in his life, too much. It’s a dick move to say this, to take anything else away from him, but… “What if the guy you wanted last summer… what if he died inside the Nogitsune, and I’m just––”

No.”

The sureness of it has Stiles’ throat clenching. He tilts his head, challenging. Finds Derek’s eyes again.

“You don’t know that.”

“I know you.”

Which is just… it’s stupid how that makes Stiles’ heart jump. Flutter around like it’s fighting to leap the distance between them and plaster itself all up against Derek’s stupid, muscled, secretly sweet as hell chest.

Which… yeah, that’s nearly a gross enough visual to stomp his fondness boner in the bud. He sets his jaw.

“Did you know I used to have a scar on––”

“Your right hand? Just above the third knuckle, a burn.”

Stiles’ argument stalls out. He blinks, finger shifting to rub over the space, but Derek’s is already there, soothing the phantom mark over his skin.

“I… was eleven.” Because silence has never been safe for him. Because noise distracts from the too-easy pleasure rippling up his arm. “First time I tried cooking dinner for me and dad. Mac and cheese, it… didn’t go great.” He wets his lips. Looks away “Or… the other me did, I don’t––”

You did.” And Derek still sounds so damn sure. Stiles wants to believe him. He parts his lips, can’t. Because––

“Stiles, I’ve never had scars on my skin. I… can’t relate to what it’s like to lose them. But the things that have happened to me… they’re not any less real because I can’t see them. Every bullet, cut, punch I’ve taken…” He might sense the wince forming on Stiles’ face, and shakes his head, shrugging that off like it’s not important. But that’s an argument for another day. “Every scar life gave you… they’re still there. You’re still carrying them, inside you.” He flits his eyes down Stiles’ frame, then away, finger soothing over the ghost burn. “There are plenty no one would have ever seen anyway. But they made you. Who you are, and who you are…” He shakes his head, looks back to meet Stiles’ eyes squarely. “You recognized me when I was a teenager. That’s the same person who recognized me in the preserve.” Stiles feels his face heat because… even knowing Derek’s a werewolf now, he’d never put together that Derek would have heard his fangirl moment to Scott after Derek had walked away.

Before he can speak up, though, Derek’s going on. “You tracked me to Mexico. Faced down the Calaveras to save me. That’s the same person who stared down the Argents, drove a Jeep into a kanima, who hit an Alpha with a wooden baseball bat––”

“Two Alphas,” Stiles cuts in, because props, ok? “Two, that were…” His free hand mimes squishing, and Derek’s lips twitch.

“Two,” he agrees, and Stiles can’t not smile back. Just for a second –– fond, helpless –– then he’s ducking his head. Derek sighs, catches his chin. Guides it up until their gazes lock again.

“That was you,” he says, so firmly Stiles can’t help believing this time. “Was the man who clawed his way out of his own possession. Followed Scott’s howl back to the real world. And whatever happened to your body, whatever… magic gave you a new one, Stiles came out with it. Your scars are still there, just…” His fingers trail to Stiles’ chest, and something thumps out eagerly to meet them.

“Inside,” Stiles breathes, and the way Derek’s eyes warm makes him shiver with a proud ripple of pleasure.

“Inside,” Derek echoes. Runs a thumb light along Stiles’ lip. “You could have come out of the Nogitsune looking like anything. Wouldn’t change who you are.”

And damn, Stiles has fallen for a goddamn poet in a grumpy wolf’s body. …But then, Stiles is pretty sure he’d known that already.

His fingers go up, curl gently into Derek’s shirt.

“But… you like this body,” he prompts, and Derek gives an exasperated huff, pulling him in.

“I like this body,” he confirms, and it doesn’t feel wrong to hear that.

When Derek kisses him this time, Stiles doesn’t pull away.

Being college roommates with Peter Parker would include

Done with the amAZING @purelyparker  

  • When you move in you walk into the dorm and the first person you see is Aunt May
  • She’s just folding all of Peter’s clothes and making his bed (doing Mom stuff)
  • Peter’s in the corner of the room like “Aunt Mayyyyyy” cause he’s annoyed by her doing everything but secretly loves it
  • When he sees you at the door he immediately drops what he’s doing and runs over to help you with your boxes
  • But he kinda trips
  • Cause his side of the room is still all messy
  • And so your first meeting is basically just him uncomfortably tackling you
  • “ohmygoshimsosorryareyouokayhereletmehelpyouwithyourthings”
  • May starts to leave and Peter gets all e m o t i o n a l
  • But he wants to seem tough so he tries to hold in his tears
  • As soon as she leaves though he’s a goner 
  • He starts BAWLING AW BABYY
  • You don’t really know what to do cause he’s just apologizing to you the whole time
  • Once he calms down a lil bit you go and sit with him and try to make him laugh
  • It works and he stops sniffling
  • “I’m just really gonna miss her”
  • After that he’s convinced he made an awful first impression 
  • Even though you found it really touching
  • But he does everything in his power to make you like him
  • He’ll come back to the dorm with an assortment of cookies
  • “I didn’t know which kind you liked”
  • You guys eat cookies and laugh and watch some tv while you set up your beds and stuff
  • He’s still convinced you hate him though :’(
  • He sees you brought a joke book and so he flips through it and tries to memorize the funny ones to weave into conversation
  • Like he actually tells knock-knock jokes when he knocks on the door
  • “Knock, knock!”
  • “Peter you can just come in”
  • “You’re supposed to say who’s there”
  • “Who’s there?”
  • “Disc”
  • “Disc who?”
  • “Disc is a recorded message…” *snicker*
  • You laugh a lil extra to make him feel better
  • Then he starts trying to impress you with like clique guy things
  • He legit prints out the Wikipedia page for “Football” 
  • The kid studies the page
  • So when you guys actually go to your college’s football game he cheers like the entire time even though he has 0 idea what’s going on
  • But that’s okay because you buy you guys pom poms and you both just cheer together and are just really cute
  • “Wait do you actually know what’s going on”
  • “No, Peter, I don’t like sports”
  • “Oh thank GOD
  • He quits the act and you can tell he’s a lot less squeamish around you
  • Okay okay but both of you hate going to class
  • You are both always, always late but you kiss up to the professor for each other so it’s okay
  • Sometimes you guys will take turns going to class
  • Your schedules are almost identical anyway
  • Peter will take notes in class and bring them back to you to copy if he heard that you went to bed really late the night before
  • He’ll actually turn your alarms off because he knows you need your sleep
  • If you fall asleep studying he’ll put a blanket over you
  • And then a pillow under your head
  • And just do so much to make you comfy that he’ll wake you up
  • “Peter what are you -”
  • “Shhh, shh, go back to sleep”
  • He’ll take selfies with you while you sleep though
  • Like pose with you and make stupid faces and all that cute stuff
  • He’ll draw mustaches on you
  • “If I can’t grow facial hair then you should be able to”
  • And then he’ll send them to you so that when you wake up you can see him giving you bunny ears while you druel on your paper
  • You actually find out about him being Spiderman within like the first couple weeks though
  • Cause he always swings aiming for your guys’ room but might end up crashing into someone else’s
  • Why do all the rooms have to look the same??”
  • He always accidentally puts his suit in with all of your laundry though so everything always shrinks and turns pink
  • But Peter actually has no clue how to do laundry
  • “Can’t I just send May my clothes? I can send yours too, if ya want”
  • “Peter we are not sending your aunt clothes to wash
  • He tries to use detergent once but puts way too much in and everything smells like soap for like four weeks
  • He doesn’t know how to go grocery shopping either
  • He’ll like send you pictures of stuff at the store cause he doesn’t know which brand mac and cheese to get you guys don’t even need mac and cheese
  • You try to help but he just is afraid he’ll mess it up so he comes home with like 17 boxes 
  • “Peter are those all mac and cheese boxes?”
  • “There were just so many - I chose the ones that looked the yummiest”
  • He ends up trying to cook the mac and cheese in the microwave in a plastic bowl without any water and a metal spoon
  • Soooo the fire alarm goes off and the whole building has to evactuate
  • He’s so careful about showering and stuff
  • He hates communal showers
  • “What if I get… like.. foot fungus?”
  • He’s so sweet about you showering so innocent
  • “Peter can you hand me some shampoo”
  • “Are you sure?”
  • “Peter I need shampoo”
  • He falls over everything because he was covering his eyes and shutting them
  • “Peter are you okay? What’s taking so long?”
  • “I fell in the toilet”
  • “You wh AT?”
  • Peter loves your girly shampoo
  • He uses it like every day but never wants to fess up to it
  • You totally realize you’re going through it a lot faster though but it’s okay because it makes his hair smell so good and he knows it
  • OKAY BUT PETER ASKS FOR GIRL HELP LIKE 25/7
  • Before he goes on a date he’ll buy like seven colognes and ask which one “gives off nice guy vibes”
  • “It’s cologne Peter, none of them do”
  • He’ll find your bras and thongs lying around sometimes and feel really bad when he does
  • Thongs confuse the hell outta him though
  • “But… where does the… where does the butt go?”
  • Peter oh my gosh
  • One day he actually just asks “what are turn ons”
  • One time you guys tried kissing but vowed never to again because you’re friends
  • On your period he is so damn clique
  • Like buys you a bunch of ice cream and stuff
  • “What size, uh, tampons do you wear?”
  • “Peter did you go to the store just to get me tampons?”
  • “…Yeah, uh, about that, what do they look like? Like I know what they look like but what does the box look like?”
  • “Peter you don’t have to get me tampons I have plenty”
  • “But… what if you run out?”
  • On Valentine’s Day you guys will just chill in the dorm and pretend to be chocolate connoisseurs 
  • “Hmm this one tastes very… chocolatey” 
  • “Peter that’s the wrapper”
  • Whenever you go on dates Peter won’t let you walk home alone
  • “Peter it’s okay I’m like five minutes away” 
  • “But it’s - it’s dangerous. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
  • HES JUST TOO SWEET AND PROTECTIVE
  • Whenever he gets rejected by a girl he’ll just be super sad for the next couple of days
  • But you’ll just give him super long hugs and he’ll feel better
  • He actually loves rom coms but won’t fess up to it
  • You guys love watching shows together but can never agree on ships
  • “BUT THEY’RE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER”
  • “Peter you’re WRONG”
  • “But looK AT HOW HE LOOKS AT HER
  • Peter being curious about your makeup so you give him a makeover once
  • “How do I look?”
  • “You look gorgeous”
  • “R-really?”
  • “No this was an awful idea”
  • Legit pillow fights ALL THE TIME
  • Sometimes you’ll be trying to work and he’ll just jump on the bed to try to distract you
  • “Peter will you stop jumping?
  • “YOU’VE BEEN WORKING FOR SO LONG”
  • You guys will 100% have Star Wars marathons after midterms
  • Then you’ll get all geeky and make another Lego Death Star to decorate your dorm
  • Also video-chatting Aunt May whenever possible
  • Peter will leave lil inspirational and positive post-it notes around everywhere when he sees you’re stressed or sad
  • You guys just care so much about each other it’s ridiculous
  • Peter always sleeps with a bear and a night light though because honestly he’s still just a little boy
  • Sometimes he’ll have really bad nightmares and you will get up to calm him down
  • He occasionally loses his bear too, so you serve as replacement
  • He loves being the little spoon
  • He’s memorized your coffee order and will go on a coffee run to help you during all-nighters
  • Also he knows your food order for literally every restaurant around you because you guys get take out 4/7 days of the week
  • Your guys’ favorite is Thai of course
  • Cause you larb each other
  • Oh yeah PUNS ALL THE TIME TOO
  • You steal his pun shirts because they’re just too pure
  • “Have you seen my telekinesis shirt?”
  • “Which one? Thiiiiis one?”
  • “THATS MINE YOU CANT JUST WEAR IT WHENEVER YOU WANT
  • But honestly you can wear it whenever cause Peter finds it endearing
  • Literally everything you do Peter finds endearing
  • And you for him
  • You guys are just the best
  • Best friends and just the. best.

hey i wanna talk about erik klose

  • “i feel like he could hold me up forever” erik isn’t just emotional support he’s a soccer player and he is s t r o n g
    • he got them Midfielder Thighs™
  • he fuckin loves soccer movies ok 
    • nicky, already grinning, in response to erik’s parents asking how his day was: alles ist gut
    • erik, sliding into the room in his socks and running into a wall: soLANGE DU WILD BIST!!!!!
    • used Bend It Like Beckham and She’s The Man to practice his english
    • he definitely has a poster of jess bhamra in his room, she’s his hero
  • he is SUPER tall
    • (he’s actually taller than matt when his hair isn’t spiked)
  • him and nicky are low key competitive as fuck and they run together when nicky starts training for exy
  • nicky quickly learns that trying to outlast a midfielder on a run just. doesn’t work. they do the most running on the team and typically go whole games without getting subbed out.
    • 3 miles in nicky is wheezing and dying and erik is laughing like the absolute traitor he is
  • but!! it wasn’t all sunshine at first i mean come on,, this is the foxes
    • when nicky first got to the Klose’s he was reserved, quiet. 
    • erik was taking a year off to travel with friends during the first 6 months nicky was there
    • when both parents agreed nicky could stay for the summer for some extra classes so he could graduate on time (by american standards), he finally met erik
    • tall, athletic, kind erik, erik who came home with all kinds of candy from all kinds of countries to give to a boy he never met all to make a pun about what a “sweet deal” it was to have someone new in the house, he felt his heart race when nicky smiled at him for his ridiculous efforts
    • that’s the first time the klose’s saw a real smile come from nicky
  • erik convinced nicky to go to church after a while
    • it was hard at first, especially when nicky noticed erik was getting some weird looks from some of the older people in the congregation
    • when nicky asked why, erik told him about how when he came out his grandmother stopped speaking to him, and how some parents didn’t want to let erik come over to see his friends
    • but then erik told him how his parents told anyone who wasn’t okay with their son that they weren’t worth having around, that they loved erik and they wouldn’t allow anyone to try and make him feel bad for being himself
    • and how his cousins snuck out and took him to his first pride parade in hamburg
    • surrounded by people who actually care, nicky started to hope again
  • nicky starts to smile more and erik…he’s so smitten. his new mission in life is to make nicky smile
  • erik’s humor is usually really awful puns and dad jokes, but he also is really good at keeping a straight face while saying absolutely ridiculous things, leading people to question whether he’s really serious or not and nicky fighting super hard not to bust out laughing (because he’s the only one who can tell he’s joking)
  • nicky prides himself on being pretty fashionable so he’s not entirely sure how the hell he lets erik get away with wearing those awful toe shoes. the. the individual toe ones.
    • you know the ones
  • the first time they kiss, erik was climbing a tree and fell out, because all his grace stops the minute he steps off the field
    • it was a forehead kiss because, well, erik’s face was bleeding, but yea
    • they’re a bit of a mess, but they’re cute, ya know?
  • nicky and erik are the type of couple to go to the grocery store at 2am because they really want to make mac n cheese and accidentally end up buying 4 pounds of candy instead while serenading each other to the weird 90s music the store is playing
  • erik loves aldi’s and wants to live there. everything is so cheap, nicky. they have my favorite cheese, nicky. nicky. where are you going. nicky i live here don’t leave we haven’t bought any bread yet-
  • he owns crocs. he just. he does. he bought orange ones when nicky joined the foxes and fuckin little white fox paw insert thingies because he’s a supportive boyfriend, dammit
  • he draws smiley faces on everything. notes to nicky, his notes at school, on his meeting notes at work, and his favorite place: on nicky. 
  • he’s one of those people who can’t tan for shit, he just burns then freckles. nicky is constantly nagging him to wear sunscreen. he always forgets and sends nicky pictures of his bright red shoulders only to get pages of texts ranting about sunscreen and melanoma
  • he’s got scars everywhere but theyre all from like. the dumbest stuff. there’s a big one on his knee from sneezing while on a run and subsequently tripping on the sidewalk and wiping out. several are from falling out of trees. he broke his nose falling out of the shower because he freaked out when he saw a spider. again, all his grace is on the soccer field. everywhere else he’s a hazard.
  • he’s really, really clumsy. he loves fiercely because that’s how his parents taught him. he knows he’s lucky to have a family that stuck by him, he knows it’s the least they can do, but so many gay kids have shitty parents. kids like nicky. and erik may be gangly and clumsy. he may be competitive and he may not always understand how nicky feels because he hasn’t experienced what nicky has. but he has fallen out of more trees than anybody he knows, and falling in love with nicky is an ache he’s never been able to ice away, and would never want to anyway.
  • Shownu: I can’t believe I forgot my phone. I hope Changkyun liked his birthday present yesterday. Oh, he called.
  • Phone: You have 17 new messages.
  • Shownu: What?!
  • Phone: Message 1.
  • Changkyun: Hey Shownu, thanks for the Bazinga t-shirt it's… great. I was just calling because I might need a ride later tonight. Hyungwon can’t drive and I ran Jooheon’s Mazda into that ditch after we watched Fast Five on Netflix together.
  • Jooheon: You still owe me for that.
  • Changkyun: Yeah, yeah, I got you, I got you. Mazdas are really flammable, did you know that? I didn’t know that. Well, I do now.. but anyway I’ll call you later if we need a pick up from the show, alright?
  • Hyungwon: [Snoring]
  • Changkyun: Woo! Hyungwon, you’re up! Peace, Shownu!
  • Phone: End of Message.
  • Shownu: I’m not listening to all of these.
  • [skips to the last message]
  • Phone: Message 17.
  • Changkyun: Oh my god is he dead? Why did you put him in the car?
  • Hyungwon: It’s Minhyuk, you idiot! Just shut up and keep driving to the hospital!
  • Jooheon: Changkyun, when are we getting to Chuck E Cheese?
  • Changkyun: Jooheon, shut up! Shownu, please pick up the phone! We are in so much trouble! The Iggy Azalea show went south, so we decided to make our own, but… Oh man, oh man, pick up your stupid phone! Shownu, go to my desk, open the dark drawer and burn everything inside! But hold your breath while you do it! Use that stupid t-shirt you got me to help the fire, you gotta do this, Shownu!
  • Hyungwon: Changkyun, eyes on the road!
  • Jooheon: Truck!
  • All: [Screaming]
  • Phone: End of message.
2

COSPLAY SANS HEADS PRODUCT/ SALE UPDATE!!( ≧ㅂ≦)

If you are not personally interested in these products but think you might know someone who is, please share/reblog! It helps our financial situation a lot!


Finally!! Here it is, the completed “master head” for tale sans!
Few things I want to point out first:

- the discoloration is a mixture of clays(underneath) and fibreglass resin/spot filler
- the roughness of the inside of the eyes / nose doesn’t matter because they are going to be cut out after casting and sanded down! 
- picture doesn’t do it justice but THIS THING IS SO SMOOTH HOLY CHEESE AND RICE I wanted to pet him forever!

Next up is going out to buy the materials to cast it, everything will be done within the next while. After the first casting is done, Fell sans will be created shortly after using the Tale Sans masterhead as a base.

We are still accepting orders of the heads (Tale/Fell/Swap) if you would like to be put on our list! Prices are 250 USD + Shipping. They will be casted and lightweight, painted, eyes obscured (with black semi see-through fabric) and there will be a small triangular cut out in the back of the head fixed with elastic for easily taking the head on and off. The only thing that we can’t do is add foam padding inside because each person is different and will require a different amount. (but you can always ask how to do that, it’s super easy!)Heads will come with one set of eyes of your choosing (depending on AU) with magnets. Any extra sets are 10$USD. (Mostly to cover cost of the magnets themselves / production)If you have any questions don’t hesitate to message me my IM is always open and thank you everyone so far that have invested/been interested! You are awesome! Additional update posts/ questions can be found under the tag: #cosplay discussion

Yeah🤘🏽 yeah👌🏽 yeah👍🏽 yeah👊🏽 yeah👊🏽 my bitch🐶 she bad👿 to the bone🍖 ay🙄 Wait✋🏽 these niggas👨🏿 watchin'👀 I swear to God🙏🏽 they be my clones👥 Yeah✌🏽 hey🤙🏽 huh🤷🏽‍♂️ switchin’ my hoes🤰🏽 like my flows🌊 (what?🤔) Switchin’ my flows🌊 like my clothes👕👔 (like what?🤔) Keep on shootin'💥 that gun🔫, don’t reload🙅🏽‍♂️ Ooh😧, ooh😲, now she👩🏾‍🎤 want fuck👅 with my crew🤵🏾🤵🏿🤵🏽 Cause the money🤑 come💦 all out the roof🏠 Drive🚘 the ‘Rari🏎, that bitch got no roof🏚 (skrt🚗) Wait🛑, what kind of ‘Rari🏎? 458 (damn😱) All of these niggas👨🏿, they hate😡 (they hate😤) Try to hide🙈 shoot💥 through the gate Look👀, go🏃🏽 to the strip club💋, make it rain💸 (rain☔️) So much money💰 they use rakes👨🏽‍🌾 Count 100,000💯 in your face😩 (in your face😫) Yeah😎, they put 300💯💯💯 right👉🏽 in the safe🔐 Met her today📆, oh😮 She talk🗣 to me😏 like she knew me🤓, yah😜 Go to sleep😴 in a jacuzzi🏖, yah😅 Yeah😄, wakin’ up😪 right to a two✌🏽 piece, yah😎 Countin'➕ that paper💵 like loose leaf📝, yah😉 Gettin’ that chicken🐔 with blue💙 cheese🧀, yah😋 Yeah😠, boy👦🏾 you so fake💅🏽 like my collar👔 You snakin'🐍, I swear to God🙌🏽 that be that Gucci🍦, ay🅰️ And you know🤓 we winnin'✅ (winnin'😼) Yeah👍🏽, we is not🚫 losin'❌ Try to play⛹🏽 your song🎧, it ain’t move⤴️ me (what?🤷🏽‍♂️) Saw👀 your girl👧🏾 once☝🏽 now she choose🤔 me, yeah😂

"Mom’s going to kill us.”

George Weasley ~ Harry Potter

Prompt:
You are pregnant, fam.

Requested by: No

Written by: Head Honcho

Reader: Female

Warning: Teen pregnancy

A/N: Order of Phoneix time frame when the twins are in their last year, also idk if there is a difference on how wizards find out they’re pregnant ant muggles/humans do… so I just went with the good ol’ test.

======

Order of Phoneix Headquarters
Beginning of Christmas Holiday

You bury your face in your hands as you sit on the edge of the bathtub. The literal fate of the rest of your life is resting on the three sticks sitting on top of the basin of the sink.

You take a glance at your watch and let out a deep breath. There is still two minutes left and you’re dying inside. All the thoughts on how this will affect your future along with George’s… don’t forget the timing of it too.

Your thoughts get cut off by the bathroom door flinging open.

“Ron!” You shout.

“Oh… sorry.” Ron awkwardly apologizes, eyes snapping from the basin to you then he slams the door close. You can feel your heart pounding against your chest.

Timeskip
Living Room Area

You plop back down on your spot on the couch next to your lovely red-headed boyfriend. He wraps his arm around you, pecking your forehead causing a smile to appear on your face.

Once you hear him go back to the conversation, you take a glance over at Ron. He raises his eyebrows, silently asking, you nod. His eyes light up and he looks over at his older brother, a different kind of feeling when he sees him talking.

He turns back to you, mouthing a ‘congratulations’ in which you smile at him. Your focus gets snapped back to George when he squeezes your thigh, signaling you to join the conversation.

Keep reading

0n-y0ur-left  asked:

The "Don't tell anyone you saw me crying" AU sounds super promising!

The best part of Steve’s day is, generally when he gets to go eat lunch in the abandoned teacher’s office on the third floor. It’s quiet up there, and it’s not so dusty now that one of the custodians noticed him hanging out there and comes around to clean it up every so often. So, all in all, not a bad place to quietly eat his lunch, do some homework, and maybe get a bit of drawing done, if he’s up to it.

Except today, apparently.

After the bell rings and fifth period starts, Steve makes his way up to the abandoned teacher’s lounge. He’s got a cheese sandwich, apple slices and a can of Diet Sprite that he’s excited to eat, and a drawing of one of his classmates — a guy who probably doesn’t even know Steve exists, let alone would want Steve drawing him, but that’s the one good thing about being invisible — that he’s excited to finish up. But when he gets to his abandoned teacher’s office, he hears someone…

Well, he hears someone crying.

Still, it’s his abandoned teacher’s office — he doesn’t have much else to take ownership of at this school, so he’ll take what he can get — so he enters anyway.

“What the hell?” Bucky Barnes says, furiously wiping off his face with the sleeve of his henley.

“Oh, uh,” Steve says, clutching the sketchbook that has an in-progress drawing of Bucky Freaking Barnes in it tight.

“Come to laugh at me?” Bucky asks with a rueful chuckle.

“What? No,” Steve says, maybe a little fiercer than he should.

“Then what?” Bucky asks.

“I eat lunch here every day,” Steve says, straightening up. He may only be five foot four and weigh the same as a wet dachshund, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t be intimidating!

He does wish that his beanie would quit sliding down his head and hiding his eyebrows. Having visible eyebrows would probably help the intimidating factor.

“You eat… here?” Bucky asks, looking around the dim room like he’s really seeing it for the first time. He grimaces.

Steve pushes his beanie back. “You’re here crying!” Steve argues.

“Yeah, but I’ve only been here a couple times. You’re here every day.”

Steve scoffs. “Are you trying to contest who of the two of us is less pathetic, because that’s probably a pretty easy fight.”

“What do you mean by that?” Bucky asks, voice getting louder.

“You have everything — friends, football, popularity. I just want to eat my cheese sandwich and listen to my iPod during lunchtime without having to confront crying jocks.”

Bucky stares at him for a moment, then his face screws up. “I’m s-s-sorry,” he says, starting to cry again.

“Oh jeez,” Steve says, shutting the door behind him and taking a few steps across the room, closer to the desk Bucky is sitting at. “Don’t… Cry, okay? I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“You didn’t… it’s not your fault,” Bucky says, burying his face in his hands.

Steve drops his backpack and kneels down, digging through it. After about forty seconds, he emerges victorious with a half-used pack of tissues. “Here,” he says, handing them out to Bucky.

Bucky looks up at him with wide, bloodshot eyes. “Really?” he asks. Steve nods. Bucky reaches out and takes the tissues from him. “Thanks,” he says, pulling one free from the package and loudly blowing his nose.

“No problem,” Steve says, trying not to be grossed out, though he can’t help but cringe a little when Bucky looks back up with a line of snot dripping out of his nose. “You oughta…” he says, gesturing to his nose.

“Shit,” Bucky says, wiping his nose again.

“Then again, if you’re sporting snot, I’m sure the rest of the school will follow,” Steve says, hoping he doesn’t sound as bitter as he feels.

Bucky shakes his head. “You don’t get it,” he says. “I’m not… It’s not like that.”

“That’s not what it looks from the outside,” Steve says, quiet.

Bucky gives him a little half-smile. “I’m just gonna tell you this because I feel like this abandoned teacher’s lounge is a safe, trustworthy space, okay? And because I feel like you won’t blab to a bunch of people, but everyone fuckin’ hates me.”

“Really?” Steve asks, deadpan.

Bucky nods. “It’s… Well, they may not think they hate me, but they do.”

“Please don’t tell me it’s because you’re too beautiful. If you do, I may scream,” Steve says and is rewarded when Bucky laughs.

“You’re spitfire,” he says. “Anyhow, I’m gay, and they’d fuckin’ hate me if they knew.”

There’s a long pause.

“You’re gay?” Steve asks.

Bucky nods, mouth flattening. “It feels real weird to say it out loud,” he admits.

Steve’s mouth drops. “I’m the first person you’ve told?” he asks, surprised.

Bucky shrugs. “I don’t got anyone to tell. My old man’s a homophobic asswipe who’d kick my ass if he knew, and it’s not like I’m gonna tell the guys on the football team that I like guys. They’d take turns kickin’ my ass and leave me a bloody lump on the field.”

Swallowing hard, Steve takes a seat close to Bucky’s. “That’s… a lot,” he says.

“I know,” Bucky says. “Which is why I feel justified to stay in this abandoned teacher’s lounge and cry for a bit, if you don’t mind.”

There’s a long pause.

“Can I eat my sandwich while you do so?”

Bucky snorts. “Sure,” he says. “Let’s live it up. Cheese sandwiches and tears, quite the couple.”

Steve shrugs. “I’ve seen worse,” he says, pulling his sandwich from his backpack and splitting it in half. “Want some?” he asks, holding it out to Bucky.

“Sure,” Bucky says, grabbing the sandwich and taking a huge bite.

— —

“Hey,” Bucky says as the bell for sixth period rings.

“Yeah?” Steve says, packing his stuff up.

“Wanna do this again tomorrow? Maybe without the crying?”

Steve smiles. “Sure,” he says.

— —

In a week, Bucky is letting Steve draw him.

In a month, Steve is letting Bucky kiss him.

In a year, they walk around their college campus hand-in-hand.

college advice™
  • make friends in every class u have. i don’t care if it’s awkward nd uncomfortable at first bc at the end of the semester and ur ass doesn’t know how 2 do any of the questions on the final review i promise becky that sits a row behind u will
  • don’t drink too much coffee bc it stains ur teeth. try mountain dew or other energy drinks 4 late night study binges. BE CAREFUL when using monster, red bull, 5 hour energy, etc. bc these are the worst for ur heart so make sure to Read The Labels And Warnings before overdosing the night before ur chem exam
  • stock up on ramen nd mac nd cheese. they’re cheap nd are ready to go in like 3 minutes. when u haven’t eatin in 14 hours during midterms and u think u might actually Die ur friend 3 minute mac will be there for u when no one else will
  • cut off people who suck. i mean academically socially and romantically. if they don’t give a shit about their grades u don’t need to give a shit about them yall im serious
  • c’s get degrees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • for the love of god please check ur student email
  • eat a vegetable every once in a while. ur decaying body will thank u
  • keep in contact with ur friends who don’t go to ur school. It’ll be nice 2 talk 2 someone who doesn’t know about the scandal in the biology department at the end of the week
  • get to ur first class of every semester at least 30 minutes early. i’m not fucking around either bc if u want a good seat and decent parking u better set ur alarm
  • if ur professor’s a dick or throws something at u file a complaint. u could get him fired. don’t let them tell u “this is college” bc that’s not college it’s fucking harassment lmao
  • sit where there’s an outlet or where u can see and hear the professor
  • actually go to class and Especially go to long lectures. they’re snooze fests but You Will Fail if u miss out on too much
  • wear headphones everywhere u go on campus. no one will talk to u it’s gr8
  • no one cares what u wear. i’ve seen people in formal business suits to scrubs to pajamas in class. wear what ur comfortable with nd won’t get arrested 4 wearing. the rest of the population is just as dead inside as u
  • check ur online courses The Most. Ur professor isn’t obligated to tell u when shit’s due and they more than likely won’t
  • drop the class if u can’t make above a 70% average. trust me
  • don’t buy textbooks until the second week of class bc if u buy all ur textbooks before actually seeing what the professor wants u to get u will waste $1000 and cry urself to sleep when the bookstore won’t take ur returns
  • if u work save at least $25-50 of ur weekly paycheck for an emergency fund. ur future self will thank u
  • don’t buy from the campus bookstore. they’re blood-sucking vampires who feed off freshman. amazon does textbook rentals for Very Cheap so don’t waste money that could be used on food
  • know where the library nd computer labs are nd what services they offer (like free printing, test proctoring, etc)
  • get a study group nd make a gc. they will emotionally and academically support u. get to know these ppl nd meet them at 3 pm at mcdonalds on a sunday to take ur online exams. they will be strange but u will all pass
  • get to know ppl inside ur major. just trust me on this
  • do ur readings and turn things in on time. u will sleep better at night  
  • don’t take more hours than u can handle. u will become a shell of the person u were before the semester started
  • sell ur fancy ass graphing calculator u used for one class on ebay
  • drink water nd take care of urself
  • call ur mom every few days. she will love to hear from u
  • don’t die. just switch majors

anonymous asked:

Hello... wonder if there is any chance that you made another part of "did you steal this" story... pretty please?? That's so amazing... thank you so much for writing it... ^^ ^^ (you are amazing, you know that, don't you?)

Here you go, sweet Nonny. <3

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3: 


“So you’re going to wear the vest,” Plagg drawled, watching Adrien button it up. “Just like that, ‘Hi, Marinette, I’m Chat Noir’, huh?”

Adrien paused, looking at his reflection in the mirror. “Are you saying I shouldn’t?”

“Do what you want, Kid.”

He frowned. “This seems a little unlike you. You usually don’t want anyone to know my secret.”

“What can I say? I think Bakery Girl is cute and you can trust her. Also those cheese danishes she gives you are amazing.”

“I think I can trust her too.” He turned to slump against the counter. “Ladybug might get mad at me though. I still don’t know if I’m making the right decision, but it’ll be such a relief to have someone know and Marinette is so awesome–”

“And cute and sweet and blah, blah, blah,” Plagg finished. “You don’t have to convince me, Kid. I’m on your side.”

He nodded. “Okay, here goes nothing.”

“I think you meant to say everything.”

Adrien blanched.

_________________________

He sought her out immediately, having put Nathalie and Gorilla on lookout duty. Her cheeks went pink as she held out a gift, not fully looking up at him yet. 

“You look beautiful, Mari,” Adrien said softly. “I knew you’d make an amazing dress, but this is beyond even what I could’ve imagined.”

He could see the moment the pieces fell into place in Marinette’s expression. She knew now. There was no going back. She looked at his face with wide eyes and then slowly down to the matching vest, inhaling sharply.

“Please don’t freak out,” he whispered, stepping closer. “I shouldn’t have done this so dramatically. I’m such an idiot sometimes.”

“I’m not freaking out,” she squeaked, eyes still too wide.

“Are you sure? Because you really look like you’re freaking out.”

She swallowed and glanced around at the mingling guests. “Chat?” she asked, almost inaudibly.

Adrien nodded, a nervous lopsided grin taking over his face. “Is that…is that okay?” When she didn’t answer, he looked around, spotting his father on the other side of the room. “Do you want to go somewhere we can talk for a minute?”

“Please.”

Adrien quickly led her out of the ballroom, dodging anyone who might be tempted to stop them, and down a quiet hallway. They settled on a bench, Adrien taking one of her hands in his. “Okay, so this wasn’t the best plan, I see that now. I probably should’ve just told you the other night, but…” he trailed off, frowning.

“I can’t decide if I’m flattered or upset,” she said, almost to herself.

“Please don’t be upset. I…I really like you, Marinette, and no one else knows this side of me and we have so much fun when I’m Chat and…and…and I guess I just thought it would be nice if you were my person who knows, but maybe that was selfish. You didn’t ask for this. I shouldn’t–”

Adrien’s words were cut off when Marinette pressed her lips to his cheek. “Sometimes you talk too much, Chaton.” His heart stuttered for a moment as she stood, offering him a hand. “I think I’d like a dance if you don’t mind, Kitty,” she said shyly. 

The wheels were turning slowly, gears cranking inside his brain. The puzzle pieces were all there but they weren’t quite fitting together somehow. “Chaton,” he echoed.

“I never really thought about it, but I guess I do have quite a few nicknames for you, don’t I? Chaton, Kitty, mon minou. It’s surprising I didn’t out myself sooner with how often we talk.” She titled her head to look at him. “Do I need to say it?”

He nodded, lips thinning. She pulled on his hand so he was standing with her. She opened her mouth and then snapped it shut, taking a deep breath. “This seemed easier in my head a second ago. Okay, I can do this.” She nodded to herself and then looked back at Adrien. “I’m Ladybug.”

“You’re Ladybug,” he parroted. 

“Is that okay? I know I should’ve probably told you when you started visiting as Chat so often, but then it had gone on so long that–”

Adrien kissed her then, one hand fumbling at her waist while they other slid to her cheek. It was a relatively short kiss, chaste and sweet and slightly awkward, but they both were out of breath when they parted. 

“Oh,” Marinette said, touching her lips.

“All I want to do right now is transform and run across Paris with you,” he said breathlessly. 

“You have a party full of people here to celebrate your birthday.”

“I don’t care.”

“Silly Kitty.”

He got a more secure hold on her waist. “I can’t believe you’ve been in front of me this whole time, my Lady.”

“Technically behind you,” she flushed as he pulled her closer. “Wow, um, this is changing really quickly, huh?”

Adrien paled, dropping his arms and stepping back. “Sorry. I…I think I got caught up and–”

“I don’t mind!” Marinette interjected quickly. “I mean, you can…we can…the kissing was….” Her shoulders slumped. “Why is banter so much easier in our masks?”

He ducked his head and glanced at her through his lashes. “So this is really okay?”

“This is perfect,” she smiled.

He beamed at her, offering his arm. “Then I think there was talk of a dance, Bugaboo.”


Prompt List

Buy Me a Coffee? <3

Ladynoir July Day 30 - Courage

Dark Cupid AU where Adrien discovering Marinette’s valentine goes a little bit differently.

Plagg just wanted some peace and quiet. Forgive his cheese obsessed soul.

(Ao3 Link)


“I can’t believe I didn’t get a chance to tell her.” Adrien sighed in a way that his Kwami would describe as melodramatic. “It took me so long to work up the courage too.”

Plagg rolled his eyes. He was floating above Adrien’s oversized pile of valentine gifts and Plagg was well aware of how ironic that was. If the kid needed a girl so badly there were obviously a lot of options. Adrien didn’t care though. The kid just had to try and get the one girl in the world that wouldn’t even tell him her name. Plagg was starting to get seriously ticked off about it.

“Maybe it was for the best.” Adrien murmured, falling dramatically onto his bed. “She probably wouldn’t have said ‘I love you’ back anyway.” He moaned pitifully into his pillow.

Plagg gave his chosen a deadpan look. “Why don’t you just pick one of these girls?” He smirked. Oh yes. Plagg, you are a genius. “Or are they not good enough for you?” He mocked, his smirk widening into a grin as Adrien turned to stare at him.

“Of course not! They’re just not Ladybug.” He frowned.

“So, only your lady is good enough for you then. Poor girls, none of them holding a candle to the amazing Ladybug.” Plagg watch in glee as Adrien sat up and frowned deeply at him.

“That’s not what I meant.” He said, sounding defensive.

“Why don’t you give those other girls a chance then?” Plagg said innocently. “Surely, that wouldn’t be too much to ask.”

Adrien shook his head. “I don’t love those other girls, Plagg.”

Plagg scoffed. “How would you know? You haven’t even give them a chance.”

“Fine.” Adrien rolled his eyes, marched over to his desk, and took a seat in his chair. “Which one first?” He asked flatly.

Plagg grabbed one at random and threw it at him. “I’m sure you can figure out the rest by yourself.” He chuckled, floating off to do other Plagg things now that Adrien had stopped whining.

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