i know this is old but i just really love this picture ok

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

Harry's interview on Quotidien
  • I: Can you hear me?
  • H: Yes
  • I: Welcome to Paris!
  • H: Thank you
  • I: How are you? Can you answer in French?
  • H: Good! A little bit. A tiny bit. Très bien et toi ?(very good and you?)
  • I: Very good, thank you. We start our interviews with “can you give us your five favourites words in English or French. Or a French sentence”. Someone told me you knew a French sentence.
  • H: Comment vous faites un café si délicieux? (How do you make such a delicious coffee?)
  • I: OK, that’s good.
  • H: That’s all I have.
  • I: Do you say it very often?
  • H: No... Yes
  • I: What does France mean to you? Is it something, someone etc...?
  • H: Best people I’ve known... I think her, *shows a fan* I guess. Fabien Barthez.
  • I: Yes, Fabien Barthez. Harry, you’re 23 years old and you’re one of the best known pop-star in the world. Everybody has expectations with your new album and single Sign Of The Times. Why did you choose that song? This is not what people were expecting.
  • H: I think I wanted to.. I've always liked music that made me feel something. You know I think writing it I could feet something I wanted to bring it out. I think it's a good indicator for me of what the album is to me. That's why I wanted to go with that first.
  • I: Billboard wrote that the single was "one of the more ambitious opening statements in pop this decade". Not bad, isn't it?
  • H: Thanks!
  • I: Do you have friends working at Billboard?
  • H: I don't know anyone at Billboard.
  • I: When we listen to the song we think of David Bowie, Queen, who else did you think of?
  • H: I mean, I think everyone, anything, any song you've ever listened to growing up or throughout your life or you've enjoyed, inspired you. There are a lot of different things. I wanted to just write and see what came out. I didn't know what I sounded like to make an album. So this process was as interesting for me as I think it will be for people listening to the album for the first time.
  • I: Do you know French singers other than Serge Gainsbourg? That's a tricky question.
  • H: I know Woodkid. He directed my music video.
  • I: Why him?
  • H: I think his videos are amazing, he's a really talented guy and I love French people so I worked with him.
  • I: When you're in Spain, do you say that you love Spanish people?
  • H: No!
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy...
  • H: Great tie.
  • I: You think so? It's French.
  • H: It's not a Spanish tie, isn't it?
  • I: Can I see your loafer? Oh yes! What is the brand? That's not French, isn't it? It's Italian.
  • H: No.
  • I: That's from the European Union!
  • H: Probably yeah.
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy for you, is it true?
  • H: Was what simple?
  • I: Your life, everybody wants a life like yours, with One Direction...
  • H: I mean, I feel very lucky to be able to make music, I feel very lucky to be able to make this, I feel very lucky today being in France and performing my song. I love this song. I can't complain.
  • I: What were the unpleasant things?
  • H: *thinking*
  • I: I don't know, say only one thing.
  • H: I think when you care so much about something, it's hard to get to the point where you feel like it's finished and it feels like you're adding and it never ends and it adds up. So I think the hardest part was getting into that point and be like "ok that's finished."
  • I: You said to the Rolling Stone magazine that most of the album was inspired by a woman. Really?
  • H: No I think, honestly, the album is much more about me than it is about anyone else. I think if I said the album is about a woman it kind of feels like, I don't know, I put a lot of work into this. I don't feel like it revolves around woman. It's a lot about me and things I've never said before. It's more about me.
  • I: How did you start with a boy band and end with a solo career? Is it complicated?
  • H: It's been a lot of fun. You know we were very lucky to get to do some amazing things and at the moment in our lives, we're in a time where everyone is trying their own thing and have a good time. It's been amazing to see everyone doing their own thing as well. If I can do as well as the others, it'd be amazing.
  • I: Do you call them everyday or text them? Do you use What's app?
  • H: I don't have that.
  • I: Why?
  • H: Yes we talk, absolutely. And everyone is bringing stuff out. It's been a lot going on. It's been a good time.
  • I: This is the album cover! Can you describe it? Why did you choose this picture?
  • H: Yeah. So, I don't know. I worked with photographer Harley Weir, I'm a massive fan of her work. And that's amazing and I was lucky enough to work with her. I felt like this was what I wanted.
  • I: Why is it pink? Why the water? Why your back? Why? It's beautiful but why is it pink?
  • H: I don't know, man!
  • I: Really? You don't know?
  • H: I don't know. I don't think I want...
  • I: Apparently pink is Rock'n'roll's colour.
  • H: Apparently so. I don't know. I think it means something to me and if it means anything to anyone else, I wouldn't want to take away from that by explaining it. I think the cool thing about stuff like photos and art is you can just leave it. You don't have to explain it.
  • I: Everybody sees what they want to see.
  • H: Yes exactly.
  • I: Have you seen this?
  • *video of people reacting to Harry's single*
  • I: Your fans record themselves while listening to the song for the first time. You can hear relevant analysis and apparently they all really liked it. Do you read what people say about you on social media? On Youtube, Twitter, Instagram? Do you use Instagram?
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit.
  • *The public disagrees with Harry*
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit. I mean I wish everyone was having as good time as the girl who was like that with her hands. That's what I do when I listen to the song.
  • I: Are you the one using your Instagram? Do you use your own fingers or someone else does it for you?
  • H: Yes, I do mine.
  • I: Do you still vote in Redditch?
  • H: In?
  • I: Redditch!
  • H: That's where I was born?
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I don't live in Redditch.
  • I: So you don't vote there. Where did you vote?
  • H: London, yeah.
  • I: What do you think of the Brexit? Welcome to Europe!
  • H: Thank you very much, thanks. I mean, I don't really comment on politics. To me, anything that brings people together is better than things that pull people apart. That's ... yeah.
  • I: Yet, you are in favour of equality of rights, men, women, gay people, straight people... That's politics.
  • H: I don't know. It doesn't feel like politics. I think stuff like equality feels much more fundamental. I feel like everyone is equal. That doesn't feel like politics to me.
  • I: Your fans are fetishists. They know all of your tattoos, piece of jewellery, they have heart attacks when you cut your hair. Right now you're playing with their feelings. Do you know that?
  • H: Oh ok.
  • I: Yes! What is your favourite tattoo?
  • H: I think... I have a.. probably. I don't know, actually.
  • I: Which one is the latest?
  • H: The latest is this one there. *shows Arlo* And this one. *shows Jackson*
  • I: Jackson? All of them?
  • H: Yes.
  • I: What's the story behind your haircut? How much did you spend on hair products with One Direction?
  • H: Yeah, like a lot. I used a lot, yeah.
  • I: You're in Dunkirk, Christopher Nolan's new movie.
  • H: Yes.
  • I: How did you do?
  • H: I auditioned.
  • I: Look at you there.
  • H: I am, that's me.
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I auditioned and it was great. It's going to be a really cool movie.
  • I: Harry, it feels like we know you since you're a baby. The whole world discovered you in 2010 on X Factor.
  • *video of Harry's X Factor audition*
  • I: You auditioned alone but Simon Cowell had an idea... he put you in a band with Zayn, Louis, Liam and Niall. You became One Direction. You found the name One Direction and you sold millions of albums. One Direction are soon considered as the new Beattles and you filled the biggest stadiums. The whole world was talking about you. When you go out we prayed for your eardrums. You became UK's pride. David Cameron is in one of your music videos, your sang for the Queen. But in 2015... bang! Zayn left the band, fans couldn't get over it. But don't worry, their favourite is now on the cover of the Rolling Stone magazine, he's in Christopher Nolan's new movie, he's Mick Jagger on SNL... What you don't know is that we've met in 2012. You were in France to promote an album and now I have questions. First one! When you're in a car and fans are all around you, do you see that?
  • *video of fans around a car*
  • H: I think I've actually lost my shoe there. When I got in the car... I got in the car and I was like "how many shoes do I have?" Yes I lost my shoe.
  • I: I have another question! Do you still do that before going on stage?
  • *video of Harry and Lou*
  • I: Can we do it?
  • H: No.
  • *does it anyway*
  • I: What is the weirdest question someone asked you?
  • H: I think it was actually a French interview. I got asked if I would pee in a sink... Yeah.
  • I: Ok, that's weird!
  • H: It was the first question, the first question.
  • I: It puts you in the mood.
  • H: Yeah.
  • I: What is the question you never want to be asked ever again? Did I asked you that question?
  • *Harry asks the public*
  • H: Which one? Oh crush.
  • I: What?
  • H: Crush.
  • I: Oh ok. I didn't ask it! Did you know that a French author wrote a novel about you. It's called "Styles", it's about his obsession with you. It's in French. You can translate it.
  • H: Oh! Is that true?
  • I: Yes it's true. He dedicated to you. It's called "Styles" and it's a really good book. Read it!
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Thank you very much Harry Styles for coming tonight. His first eponymous album comes out on the 12th May. Thank you Harry Styles.
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Have a safe journey home.

Seriously though, the number of grown adults who pitch a WHINY HISSY FIT when I tell them that they can’t take an animal home is astounding.

My favorite one from this holiday season was a man with a young girl (about 5 or 6 years old) and a teenage boy.  The man approaches me and, without me even asking what I can help them with, says:

Man: So we had a goldfish in a bowl and my son changed the food and it died!
Son: (clearly offended, yet texting) It wasn’t MY fault!
Me: Actually the reason it more than likely died is because goldfish REALLY shouldn’t be kept in bowls.
Man: Well it’s a big bowl, like this! (mimes about a gallon-sized bowl shape)
Me: Yeah, that’s actually pretty darn tiny.
Man: Well anyway, we want to get another one.
Girl: I want three!
Me: Unfortunately I can’t sell you a fish today– your setup really isn’t going to work for a goldfish.  You’re going to need at least 10 gallons for just ONE and even then you’re going to have to upgrade within a month or so.  Goldfish really aren’t a beginner fish…

As I say that I brace myself knowing what’s coming up.  Almost every time I refuse sale of a fish, I get the same reaction: outrage and demanding to talk to the manager, etc.

Man: Well I HAVE a tank.
Me: …I really don’t feel comfortable selling you the fish since I really feel like you’re not going to give it the proper care it needs for a long and healthy life.
Man: What?! I said I have a tank!  Why won’t you sell me the fish?!
Me: How big is the tank?
Man: 10 gallons!
Me: I still don’t feel comfortable selling you the fish.  I’m going to have to refuse the sale, I’m very sorry.
Man: What do you mean?!
Me: I’m not going to sell you fish today, I’m very sorry.
Man: I demand to talk to your manager!!!
Me: -points to nametag- Sir, I AM the manager.
Man: -takes a full pause, not expecting this-
Man: So you’re not going to sell me a fish, really?  These 15-cent fish that you feed to turtles, you’d sell it for that but not to me??
Me: If you had the setup for it, I would be more than happy to.
Man: I told you I have a tank!
Me: You told me you had your fish in a bowl.  I honestly believe you are just saying this to get the fish at this point, sir, I’m sorry.
Man: What do you I have to do, bring in a picture to prove I have it??
Me: -calling his bluff in a cheerful tone-  Absolutely!  I would love to see pictures of your tank and I would be more than happy to help you stock it after seeing your setup!
Man: (He takes another full pause) I’m going to call the company and COMPLAIN about you!  This is ridiculous, what’s the number to complain??
Me: I’m afraid I don’t know that off the top of my head sir.
Man: You don’t know the company number???
Me: No sir, but I believe it’s on our website.

While this was going on, the teenage boy was in the reptiles aisle texting and the girl was watching the turtles swim around in our tank nearby.  The man then grabs his daughter by the hand and does this in front of other customers:

Man: Let’s go– the lady’s not going to sell us fish.  She’s a MEAN LADY. (he’s staring directly at me as I stand there with no expression on my face)
Girl: Oh we’re not getting fish?  -not even upset-
Man: Yeah because she’s a MEAN LADY. (he says these words at a higher volume and with more emphasis)

He continues to repeat that phrase as he exits down the reptile aisle, making customers uncomfortable and I just shrug and go back to what I was doing before this scene.

An hour later I get a call from corporate.

NC: Hi, this is the national center, we just wanted to ask about the conditions surrounding a complaint we received about you.  A customer has complained that you wouldn’t sell him a fish even after stating he had the correct setup.  We just would like to hear your side of the story.
Me: (I tell him about the fact the guy had a goldfish in a bowl and then changed his story saying he had a tank and that I refused sale because I didn’t feel he was being honest or would care for the animal)
Me: And then he left the store, calling me a “mean lady” several times in a loud voice and said he would call you guys.
NC: Ok Christina, I just wanted to let you know that we agree with you 100% and that you did everything you were supposed to.  We wish you a very happy holiday season and I hope your shift goes well!
Me: Thank you!  You too!

I did a little happy dance and told the other manager on duty, who didn’t believe me when I said the company would have my back on the issue (he thought the company would bend over backwards for the guy and it would bite me in the butt)

BUT WAIT IT GETS BETTER

The next day I come in for work at 2PM to find out from my general manager that the guy had called the store (after the nat center told him I was correct, mind you) to complain about me and saying that my behavior was “irresponsible” and that I was “unprofessional” and that I should be reprimanded or fired.

My general manager just said “Well I’m sorry to hear that sir but you see, she has NEVER gotten a complaint as long as she has worked for the company and the national center has already stated that she has done everything according to policy.  Sorry you feel that way, man, but there’s nothing I’m going to do against her in this situation.”

Made my week.

So, yeah, my company defended the life of a 15-cent “feeder” goldfish.

I’m pretty damn happy about that.

Look, we need to talk about this Ok

This wasn’t some happy go luck episode, this wasn’t the sweet cool Starco episode everyone is trying to make it out to be or whatever. This was intense. This kid as been traveling and fighting for 16 years.

Marco traveled to every single dimension,(without sicors), He faced hundreds of monsters, he learned amazing things. He blew out every single flame of every single clone

Marco grew up guys. he grew UP. He built a life for himself. he lived for 16 years alone in the roughness of uncivilisation, with only himself to look out for. Constiantly tracking down clone after clone after clone.  He becomes a warior.

And yet, when he arrives at her doorstep, he doesn’t  attack her, and she doesn’t attack him. Infact, when he arrives, she’s already forming his scissors

She’s content, She’s plaesed. She has accept his work, and delcared  him worthy of the responiblility of having dimensional siccors. 

And marco has a similar reaction as well, he doesn’t immedetly take the scissors, doesn’t blow out her light as soon as possible. No, he sits down, gets comfy. he relaxs and tells his tales to her.

“you barley escaped me on the exploding flames of endor. And when I lost your trail in the mist of the never zone, I thought I’d never find you.”

They know eachother. This isn’t the first time he’s seen her. The REAL her since their first encounter when he was fourteen. They’e meet before, they’ve battled, and ran and talked formed an odd frenship out of their bond.

And then He rises to blows out her flame, and she lets him. She stands there, content as he softley, blows it out

“Not bad for a human. I underestmated you.”

And then, Star bust in….

And of cousre, Marco is happy to see her. He hasn’t seen her in over, and I’ll say it again, 16 years (reminder, normal people go to school for 12 years! First grade to senior. Marco has been working for those things, longs than the normal person goes to school.)

Now, I’m not here to go through this episode slide by slide, so lets move on. Marco finds out he’s only been gone from earth for 8 minutes, he get annoyed, ut then Star encourages him to come back home with her, so that everything can go back to normal.

Here’s the thing guys. Marco has spent the last 16 years matureing, fighting, living, He’s been spending the last 16 years BUILDING A LIFE. he doesn’t want to go back. he likes his life.

He likes the adventure, his sword and his dragon-motercikle pet thingy. The likes the life he’s build for himself here.

And this scares her. She pleads with him. BEGS him even. “But, what about your parents, your freinds….Me?” Star puts Marco in a position where he has to pick between his life, what he likes and her.

And here’s where this show gets really deep. he looks at his pet.

Guys you can feel that stabbing pain in your heart right? Right?  Oh man and then he looks at Hekapoo. This girl he’s chased for 16 years. 

“Don’t look at me, those siccors are yours now…you can come back here, anytime you want.”

So he makes his decision

But before he goes, he bids them goodbye. He asks Hekapoo to look after his pet. His one compainion on the road. And she agrees. 

Then he turns to her. Like when he entered, he greets her like an old freind, because that’s who she is. She’s not someone he resents, She’s some one he trusts. Someone he has faith in and who he know he can depend on.

“Likewise”

I mean, I’m sorry, but have you SEEN the way they’ve been looking at eachother this entire time? Their eyes, relaxed, smiles oh so small.Serriously, go back through the pictures I have here. you’ll see what I meant Mabye I’m crazy, but it almost seems like they’re in love. 

ha hah hah just kidding…sort of.

 Back to buisness.

Look at this. This is her thing. She’s been doing this to him since they first meet. It’s a way she “shows [her] affection” in the words of Toph

It’s what she does. He has something simillar to that as well

“Later H-poo.”

“Don’t call me that!”

They know eachother. They’ve know eachother for 16 years. They’ve been teasing eachother all that time while he’s been chasing her and she’s been slipping through his fingers. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like some wicked love story. 

But it’s not, because she’s some, immotal being and he’s a human and he’s ment to be with Star…That’s fine. I get that but still!

I meanserriously, when Hekapoo  creates siccors, she makes them individually for the owner, and look at marco’s

The blade’s are thick, and kind of resemble a sword, given how that’s the wepon he’s been using all this time, and it’s part of his pasword..but look at the that little flame where the blade conects to the handle? Doesn’t that look like her flame crown?

no, actually, it doesn’t. But it DOES  look like her clone’s crowns. The clone’s he’s been chassing and fighting al these years. She placed a bit of herself in his siscores because she was that important to him. (or at least she was important to his mission)

.

.

.

Ok, Ok, Ok….now here’s 

The most important stuff. 

Marco is back in his 14 year old body. He’s back on earth’s time line, and Star thinks its all fine and dandy…but it’s not.

Marco isn’t the same guys. He’s been gone for 16 years. He’s 30 years old mentally. Watch as he takes in his room, observing it like some alein place.

And he walks over to his computer, almost scared to touch it. These last few years, Marco’s probablby survied off of whatever he could kill or make with his own two hands. This kind of advancement…it might make him feel uncomftorble, like he’s cheating at life. 

“Password..? I don’t remember my password.”

For last 16 years, Marco has  probabbly been sleepin gon rocks, on the ground in caves. watch how catius he is lowering himself onto his bed. After two years, most soilders in the army can’t handle sleeping on beds because they’re “too soft” Imagine how marco feels. I mean, his sandwitch is still warm, as if none of his life had ever happened

This isn’t some crazy Narnia junk where Pete, Edwin, Lucy and Susan half forget what their life was like in narnia when they de-age after walking through the wardrobe. Where they go back to being kids mentally as well, as though their entire adventure was a dream.

NO.

Marco remembers it all. And this is HUGE. The show brodened on that. they showefd how uncomftorble he looked as he stood in his room all alone, because it was essential to show the effects that were left on him. 

This isn’t some happy Starco episode. this isn’t some cool ‘lets drool over adult marco’ episode either. This is some dark, bittersweet life. And you guys need to stop trying to weasle out of these facts.

important facts & quotes from hidden oracle reread #4 part one

i cited everything from the hardback edition bc im a nerd 

- page one apollo is already making pop culture references (1)

- meg is such a badass oh my g od (14)

- riodan does such a beautiful way of explaining things in this novels. awe-inspiring. mind blowing. example: “Her eyes glinted darkly like a crow’s. (I can make that comparison because I invented crows.)” (14-15) wow. beautiful. 

- so i understand this series is going to be about Apollo’s redemption and ~~~~finding himself~~~~ or w\e but JESUS PLEASE RICK you can’t just say “She [Meg] reminded me of the strays my sister was always adopting: dogs, panthers, homeless maidens, small dragons.” (15) WITHOUT PROVIDING SEVERAL BOOKS AS EXAMPLE FOR SAID SENTENCE all i want is a book focused on artemis and her army of small dragons and lesbians dear gods please 

- omfg can you just imagine sally having to go over to Percy’s room and having to tell him that the greek god of the sun apollo was there to see him omfg. imagine the salt. imagine both of them just groaning. imagine.

-”If I had still been an immortal, I might have flirted with her [Sally Jackson] myself.” (30-31) l o l Sally is a middle aged married woman seven months pregnant and still bringing in the gods you go girl im proud of you

- Sally Jackson is one of the best characters in the entire series. citation: every riodan book ever even the non-pjo it’s a fact 

- i 10000% support the idea that percy gave apollo the led zeppelin shirt as a sneaky joke he’s so smart i love him so much

- “Percy laced his fingers. They were long and nimble.”(35) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- He [Percy] would have made an excellent musician.” (35) f u ck 

- literally all percy wants is to “stay alive” long enough to go to college, meet his baby sister, and see his mom get her book published my heart is broken for this boy (35-36)

- the return of the seven layer dip fuck me up (40)

- jfc that poor Prius it’s been through so much (52-54)

- page 67 and Percy’s already made two comic book references he’s such a canon nerd 

- “Cops love me almost as much as teachers do.” god Percy Jackson what are you doing to me

- apollo tried to order a pizza to CHB and honestly same (73)

- g o d will solace jfc wow

- we’re to assume Will’s a skier (his Okemo Mountain jacket & skiers tan) (82) and now i have to write the inevitable fic that comes out of this fact

- Will’s mom was a alt.-country singer from Austin, Texas (83) which wow and honestly makes the fact will is a horrible singer 1000% better

- yellow daises grow year-round in the Apollo cabin, and it smells like fresh linens and dried sage. (83)

- kayla is aiming for the olympics and honestly im so proud already 

- fact: any and all solangelo interaction have me crying into my book 

- “Will put his hand on Nico’s shoulder, ‘Nico, we need to have another talk about your people skills.’” lol this implies that they’ve had this talk before and im dying to hear it

- the Hermes kids are big fans of Rocky Horror Picture Show (95) and now i have to write a seperate list of headcanons for this fact

- speaking of, Apollo used to cosplay as Rocky bc why not. (95-96)

- listen i know im solangelo trash BUT - “Will and Nico sat shoulder to shoulder, bantering good-naturedly. They were so cute together it made me feel desolate.” im destroyed (110)

- “but if I sit alone at my table, strange things happen.” “it’s a mood disorder” “i cant control it” stfu nico u nerd u just want to sit with your boyfriend im dead (110)

- Will nodded serenely. “It’s the strangest thing. Not that Nico would ever misuse his powers to get what he wants.” death to goody-two-shoes will solace 2k17

- off topic but CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE CHIRON THO. like. this happens and will and nico are just standing there. in front of him. telling him they have to sit together OR NICO WILL JUST HAPPEN TO PUT CRACKS INTO HIS CAMP. just imagine. him staring at them. sighing. deciding not to fight this one. agreeing & watching them giggle away bc they’re so SNEAKY & now they can EAT TOGETHER WOW 

-   lol when Meg was going to town on the hot dogs and “Julia and Alice watched her with a mixture of fascination and horror.” (111)

- “Will and Nico exchanged a look that might have meant, here we go.” (112) okay im sorry im just sO GONE FOR LITTLE MOMENTS LIKE THIS I JUST WANT NICO TO BE HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE IN HIS RELATIONSHIPS OKAY

- apollo refers to the seven as “the A-list” (112) same tho

- Jason, Piper, Coach Hedge, Mellie and baby Chuck are all in LA with Piper’s father like???? (113) THIS IS SOMETHING I NEED TO SEE? What’s the living arrangement? Is Jason living with Piper? OH GOD IS JASON LIVING WITH HEDGE AND MELLIE? DO THEY ALL LIVE IN SOME BIG PLACE PIPER’S DAD RENTED OUT???? do Piper and Jason babysit? do they have family dinners? how’s baby chuck doing??? how are they all adjusting to domestic life?? I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS ALL VERY IMPORTANT TO ME 

- lol nico’s just as pissed as eveRYONE IN THE FANDOM about Leo’s not-death and im living for it (113)

- also nico carries around Leo’s lil ‘IM ALIVE LOL’ letter\hologram\thing? like i get it was completely for the plot but?????? “i look at it whenever i want to get angry” (114) like ok nico u lil bean whatever u say u little emo shit

- apollo’s little ‘lol when u have a headache in olympus hephaestus just cracks open your skull and removes whatever brain god\dess u just birthed up lol it’s so much easier ugh’ (116) w h a t t h e f u c k 

- fact: harley is adorable no citation needed

- also you’re telling me chiron, basically as old as time itself tbh, doesn’t speak portuguese? k (120)

- “i am merely assessing how well paolo’s arms are functioning after surgery” (120) those are some big words william u nervous or something??

- “hmph” - nico di angelo, 2016 (120) 

- this isn’t really important but there’s a satyr named herbert and he’s my new favorite character sorry i dont make the rules (124)

- ok so there’s an unnamed random camper who mutters in Italian (127) and now i’ve got the BIGGEST headcanon that this random girl and Nico (omg maybe a few others????) meet a few times a month just to rant to each other in Italian so none of them get sloppy with the language and u g h im such a bitch for nico di angelo frienships

- “A boy in the crowd gasped, ‘she’s a communist!’” (127) i fucking hate this book omfg

i’ll do more later in order to mentally prepare myself for the dark prophecy but it’s 3 am and im tired  

anonymous asked:

Hi!!! Ok, so first of all I LOVE your blog. All of your recommendations?? A gift from heaven. I was wondering if you have any good and cute domestic AU's? Kinda like the posts that prettyboyviktor makes (I'm so sorry, I don't know how to add links TT A TT"" ). I think that the domestic AU's are just ADORABLE and I'm currently reading Masquerade (thanks to your rec) and I LOVE it (omg) so I wanted to know what you think are good domestic AU's. Thank you thank you thank you so much!!!

Thank you for these requests! (and compliments, wow!!) I LOVE DOMESTIC AUs SO FREAKING MUCH OMGOMG

Originally posted by feilusiana


Domestic Fluff


Safety Hazards in St. Petersburg by lucycamui, Explicit, 3.7k
In which Yuuri moves in with Victor in St. Petersburg and Victor discovers just how distracting living with him can be. I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH OMG

Love Like You by LFMH021, Teen, 3.6k
Little insight to retired and domestic Victuuri! Many small scenes from deciding who is going to do the dishes to grocery shopping. SO CUTE AND FLUFFY I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH! It’s the domestic fic you’re looking for!

stammi vicino by sunshinehide, Gen, 1k
its moments like these where yuuri realizes how lucky in love he is with victor. CUTEEE

Domesticity by DawnMalfoy, Not Rated, 4.4k
When Yuuri moves to St Petersburg to train with Victor a lot of things change for the better. Victor is really in love with Yuuri, and is still surprised that he gets to come home to him every day! Awwwww!

The Different Types of Warmth by BeautyButterBae, Explicit, 8.1k
When Victor drags Yuuri out of their apartment on one of the coldest days St. Petersburg has seen in a while, Yuuri is far from pleased. Victor promises to replenish the body heat they’ve both lost. Yuuri is far more pleased with that. Fun!

in need of melted marshmallow cuddles by Hitsugi_Zirkus, Gen, 1.7k
“Viktor. You’re Russian. How is it that you’re always so easily cold and– Wait,” Yuuri’s eyes fell onto Viktor’s bundled up form under the comforter, “are you wearing my jackets? How many layers have you got on?” SNUGGLES AND CUDDLES DO YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING I LOVE THIS FIC

Dream Awake by Ashida, Teen, 7.7k
Yuuri really loves to sleep in, in his bed, in his apartment, in their home, but they have morning practice, and Victor thinks of a new way to wake him up. It’s so fluffy I’m gonna dieeee

Get A Room, Just Not This One by chellethewriter, Mature, 8.1k
Five times that Yuri Plisetsky walks in on Yuuri and Viktor being grossly affectionate… and one time that he doesn’t. Takes place in St. Petersburg, post episode 12. Yurio is basically their son and I love it!

we laugh, we fumble, we take it day by day by waitingforreason, Gen, 3k
When it comes to taking their son on the ice for the first time, Yuuri is worried, Victor is patient, and everyone else is helplessly intrusive. LOVE!

kissed me like a sunrise by middlecyclone, Teen, 1k
Maybe, Victor figures, there are some things, some people, that you just can’t get over. And Yuuri is his. So cute!

Born To Make History by BeautyButterBae, Explicit, 9.2k
Some mornings were like today, where Yuuri sat up in their shared bed, only watching as Victor Nikiforov – the man he had married only a few months earlier – slept peacefully, still disbelieving that all of this had happened, that it was real, that he got so lucky. They’re married and I can’t breATHE THIS IS SO GOOD

kairosclerosis by celestialfics, Gen, 1k
Life at Viktor’s apartment in Russia is different than when Yuuri and Viktor had stayed together at Yuuri’s family home in Japan, but it’s a good kind of different. Thumbs up!

In jokes and Pettiness by preciousbunnynoiz, Teen, 3.6k
Domestic Victuuri get into petty arguments None of the fights are serious! THIS IS SO AMAZING?? I’M DYING??? Love!

Distance by surveycorpsjean, Explicit, 5.1k
They just can’t stand to be apart. They’re still obsessed with each other!

sight of the sun by cityboys, Teen, 6.4k
Wherein their honeymoon brings Victor face-to-face with a lot of firsts in his life. HONEYMOON FIC I REPEAT THIS IS A HONEYMOON FIC

Together Dancing, Cheek to Cheek by ambientwhispers, Gen, 2.1k
Katsuki Yuuri sometimes still doesn’t believe he could possibly be married to his old idol, Victor Nikiforov. One day, Victor decides to show Yuuri exactly where that road began, with the pictures from the 2015 GPF banquet. OMG!!

better than sliced bread by ebenroot, Teen, 8.1k
In which we all assumed yuuri is the one to own a dakimakura but maybe that isn’t entirely the case. THIS IS GREAT AHHAHA

part 2 of 3rd grade teacher nursey?? yes?? ok

(part one)

  • calls all of his kiddos “little bro” regardless of gender. the occasional “little dude” or “little man”
  • the first time he wears a short sleeve dress shirt to school all the kids are obsessed with his tattoo
    • “mr n has a forever drawing on his arm :000″
  • hes the ultimate kid whisperer. anything these kids throw at him? hes got it covered
    • kids are fighting about who gets the 64 pack of crayons. jeremy got them yesterday and now he wants them again?? theres like 4 other kids who want to use them jeremy dont be a dick
    • nursey’s like “can i give you guys a special project? i need a big drawing to put up on the wall. but you all have to help and you all need to use the crayons”
    • jeremy, immediately distributing the crayons and getting a big ass piece of paper: ok mr n!!!!!!

Keep reading

Some thoughts on young Harold

I think some people are forgetting Harry is a closeted, very likely confused, young person navigating his own identity and his place in the music industry, and he hasn’t lived a day as a normal kid since he was sixteen years old. Even without PR strategists and their ham-fisted promo and transparent lies, he’s going to fuck up. He’s going to contradict himself. He’s going to do things which don’t sync up with the image we have of him because we don’t actually know him. He’s going to make mistakes, and he should make mistakes, because he’s twenty three years old. I look at some of the art I made at a 23 year old and it’s an absolute mess of poorly articulated ideas and cross-firing impulses and half of them are ripped off of the artists I loved because I hadn’t found myself yet. That was three years ago and I’m still struggling to find myself, because I, too, am a confused young person trying to create art in a world that’s hostile and homophobic. And that’s me, where there are no cameras and no privacy invasion and no closet and no million dollar brand. Harry is under an enormous amount of pressure from the people he’s working for AND the general public, AND US, the fans who love him, sure, but are also tense and poised and constantly ready to attack and drag and place blame and analyze.

It’s ok to analyze, in fact I think it’s necessary to be critical and conscious of all the media we consume? But at the same time…people really need to look at the big picture and keep everything in perspective. Harry probably doesn’t know who he is yet to some degree, as a person and as a solo artist, and he’s been media trained since he was a kid, and now that he has a slightly longer leash, he’s going to be struggling to reconcile all that. So he’s drawing from a variety of influences and musical traditions, some of which are archaic or dated or fucked up, and attempting to forge an identity and still sell records and we’re ALL WATCHING! What an enormous challenge! Even if his team was promoting everything perfectly, there would still be cracks running through this mess. Give him a break. Remember how old he is, and what kind of world we live in.

I do think there is fandom manipulation happening, I do think there are strings being pulled and I think some of those string pullers are tone deaf old white men. Yes. But frankly, that’s capitalism, which sucks but is the very real framework which art is manufactured within. We’re not going to be able to escape that anytime soon, it’s just the way things are. Personally, I’m excited to continue to watch Harry grow and find himself and figure out what he wants to do and what he wants to say within the constraints of capitalism/the industry.

Translation from Naruhodo Fanbook

I felt like doing some translation for my own enjoyment so I grabbed my Naruhodo fanbook and picked this amazing scene out from the character blog section in the back. This was written by Takumi Shuu as promo material for the original trilogy back in 2005.

“English Version”

Mayoi: Hey, hey Naruhodo-kun! Did you hear?

Naruhodo: Hear what? You look awfully excited.

M: Apparently we’re finally gonna make our American debut!

N: Oh, you mean the English version, huh?

M: And apparently the setting is, get this, the crime capital, Los Angeles! Isn’t it exciting?!

N: …Don’t let anyone from Los Angeles hear you call their city that. They’ll get mad.

M: Well, they have a saying there: “If you toss a rock into a crowd, it’ll hit a criminal.”

N: You do realize that the second you throw a rock into a crowd, you yourself are a criminal, right?

********

M: You know, Naruhodo-kun. Something about you just doesn’t do it for me…

N: Wh-what do you mean?

M: It’s your face. It wouldn’t fit the image of “the crime capital.” You’ve gotta at least dye your hair blond.

N: B-blond…?!

M: Ah! Come to think of it, there’s an old saying in my village.

N: Oh, I can’t wait to hear this.

M: Let’s see, they say if you wash your hair with beer, it’ll turn blond!

N: ……..

M: It’s a saying that’s been passed down for years, but no one’s tried it out yet.

N: All you’d need is one person to try it to know whether it’s true… That’s not much of a mystery.

M: Just wait a sec, ok? I’m gonna go buy some beer.

N: ….Um, you know, Mayoi-chan, I feel like I should just give you a heads up.

M: Hmm? about what?

N: You know this doesn’t mean we’ll be going to America ourselves, right?

M: What?! No way! Seriously?!

N: The name of the main character in the English version isn’t even “Naruhodo Ryuuichi”.

M: Aw come on! What’s his name, then?!

N: Um, if I remember correctly, it’s Phoenix Wright.

M: …Your name got changed to “Feenicks”?

N: What’s that face for?

M: I mean, look at you! You don’t look like a “Phoenix” at all.

N: You don’t think so? Personally, I think I’ve got some birdlike qualities.

M: In that case, I think they should’ve gone with “chicken” for you. Chicken lawyer.

N: Mayoi-chan… You’re in a weirdly combative mood today.

M: And you’re not nearly bright enough to earn the name “Light”

N: I’m pretty sure “Wright” and “Light” are two different words. Probably.

M: What about “Rice” instead?

N: Um, what?

M: Forget Phoenix Wright. Go with Chicken Rice.

N: Who the heck would ever name their kid that?

M: Or maybe “Fried” would be good. Chicken Fried.

N: Well, what would your name be, Mayoi-chan?

M: Me? Let’s see… My name’s Mayoi, so how about “Mayonnaise”?

N: …That actually might suit you pretty well.

M: I’m a fan of mayonnaise.

N: Chicken Fried and Mayonnaise… We sound like a pretty high calorie pair.

M: More like a delicious pair.

N: Come to think of it, what do you think Mitsurugi’s name should be?

M: Let’s see… His name is Mitsurugi Reiji, so… How about “Ray G. Mituroogi”?

N: Huh. That’s unexpectedly straightforward.

M: But it gives you a sense of his pickiness, don’t you think? Especially the “Mituroogi” part.

N: Either way, I’m pretty sure they’ll make his name totally different.

**********

M: ……………..

N: ? What’s up? You’re weirdly quiet all of a sudden.

M: I might’ve just thought of something amazing.

N: What’s that?

M: The perfect crime… in Los Angeles.

N: Perfect crime… You?

M: So there’s a lawyer who looks exactly like you over there in the Crime Capital, right?

N: I guess. Mr. Phoenix.

M: So for example, you could go to a restaurant and eat a whole bunch of food, like chicken rice and fried chicken with mayonnaise on it.

N: Yes, I can see it now…

M: Then when the bill comes, you can tell them you forgot your wallet at home. When someone from the staff grabs you by the scruff of your neck, you shout “I AM PHOENIX!”

N: …When I picture that scene, it looks like some serious carnage took place there.M: And then they’ll send the bill to that Attorney Phoenix guy, see?

N: …I feel like attempting a crime like that would get you stoned by someone.

M: And I could eat all the miso ramen I wanted too!

N: Unfortunately, I don’t think they have miso ramen in America.

M: Really? You think? …I wonder what American me’s favorite food is, then.

N: Who knows?

Voice: Excuse meee!

M: Oh, there’s someone at the door. Comingggg!

Delivery man: Um, I have something here for the Naruhodo and Co. Law Offices… Ah, for a Miss Mayoi. Is that you?

M: Y-yes, that’s me. What is it?

D: I work at the restaurant Burger Land, and I have a bill here for you.

M: “15 Triple Burgers at 4,500 yen a piece”… Th-this wasn’t me!

D: Sorry, but it was definitely you. You came to our shop, stuffed your mouth with burgers, and shouted “I AM MAYOI,” spraying food everywhere!

M: …………

N: ………..

M: They got us first, Naruhodo-kun.

N: Sounds like the American you likes burgers, huh?

POPULAR TEXT POSTS + ASK MEME  (  PART 3  )

❛ i need a reasonable paying job, something like $2,000 an hour. nothing too wild. ❜
❛ idc (i do care) ❜
❛ ‘are you taken?’ yes bitch, taken for granted ❜
❛ half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half is, well, an asshole ❜
❛ you’re yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????? ❜
❛ you will find your home, you will find your place. you will find your people. give it a little bit of time but it will happen. ❜
❛ in order lead a happy life i’m gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit. ❜
❛ any body else here not good at anything??? ❜
❛ you can’t force people to appreciate you. ❜
❛ *puts on baseball cap* i am the dad now… ❜
❛ i fake smart.. like i’m honestly a dumbass idk shit but i know how to seem like i do.. i’m smart-passing.. ❜
❛ every straight woman who ever called her platonic friend her ‘girlfriend’ owes me $50 ❜
❛ i am a professional at misreading tones and overreacting to problems that most likely don’t exist ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life, i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ you can’t cure sadnesses with a shower but honestly there is no purer place to suffer ❜
❛ patiently waiting for a kind soul to come along and make everything a little softer, brighter. ❜
❛ honestly i don’t even play an active role in my life, shit just happens and i’m like oh this is what we’re doing now? ok ❜
❛ no offense but if i die and no one uses a ouija board to keep me updated on memes i will literally haunt you all ❜
❛ imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 an hour ❜
❛ i have finally reached the age of most young adult protagonists yet my life is still uneventful??? where is my cool story??? my cool talents??? @ universe i’m pissed ❜
❛ hello, police? i accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested ❜
❛ *tries to watch 45 minute episode in 20 minutes ❜
❛ please don’t just come in my life, take my heart and leave. please don’t do that. ❜
❛ concept: me, 10 years from now, living in a pretty house with my love, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. our dog curls up next to me in the window bench while our cat snoozes on the bed. i’m financially stable and i’m never tired anymore. the bees are safe. ❜
❛ i can’t believe what walkie talkies are called ❜
❛ the gorilla could have died and been done with in like a week but none of you know how to be normal ❜
❛ me: *is bitter but is also right* ❜
❛ just saw a girl in high heels long boarding to class. godspeed, my queen. ❜
❛ i’ve never belonged anywhere, i’m always just in between ❜
❛ too young for unnecessary stress, i gotta live ❜
❛ i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information ❜
❛ i’m like always sleepy. i feel like i should be used to this by now and stop complaining about being sleepy but i can’t. always, i’m sleepy. ❜
❛ lmao no offense… but what’s the point of being mean to people for no reason ❜
❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk ❜
❛ “alcohol isn’t supposed to taste good” buddy watch me drink the fruitiest/sweetest shit i can find and enjoy it because i don’t hate myself enough to even begin to consider drinking like.. beer ❜
❛ tfw you’re already fully aware of the unnecessary self destructive bullshit you’re doing but you can’t bring yourself to do anything to stop it ❜
❛ hey sorry for not replying i didn’t want to ❜
❛ honestly how am i gonna make it in the world???? i get a little teary eyed any time someone compliments my personality ❜
❛ true bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing ❜
❛ *touches your hand and looks seriously into your eyes* i am a piece of shit ❜
❛ lets play ‘how rude can i be until you realize i don’t like you’ ❜
❛ i love drunk me but i don’t trust her ❜
❛ hate when i am wearing makeup and still look shitty like what else am i supposed to do? get enough sleep? eat right and exercise??? as if ❜
❛ i’m not on a high horse. i’m not even on a horse. i’m face down in a ditch on the road of life ❜
❛ i hate when people ask me what i would do in their situation because 9 times out of 10 i would literally never be in that situation in the first place ❜
❛ i barely remember the last 6 months honestly like am i even alive ❜
❛ you had me at ‘hello’ and lost me at ‘i think your friend is cute’ ❜
❛ i’m pretty sure by now ‘tired’ is just a part of my personality description ❜
❛ wow i really liked that song now i think i’ll listen to it another seventy times in a row ❜
❛ ‘shit it’s 2 a.m.’ i say every day at 2 a.m. as if i’m surprised ❜
❛ i’ve been stressed out since like the third day of second grade ❜
❛ telling other girls they look pretty is like cracking a glow stick full of positivity and female friendship ❜
❛ i want to be sun kissed and also people kissed ❜
❛ about me: glowing, eating peaches, drinking wine in lingerie, not texting your desperate ass back  ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ due to unfortunate circumstances, i am awake ❜
❛ i’m gonna solve mysteries so fucking good ❜
❛ what did people even wear in 2008 ❜
❛ i’ll just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  my way through life ❜
❛ you know what sucks? everything bye ❜
❛ me? overreacting? probably ❜
❛ people asking me what kind of music i like is such a stressful experience ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ if you listen carefully you can hear me whisper ‘shut the fuck up’ at least once every five minutes ❜
❛ any time you like a boy just know you played yourself. always keep that stored in your mind for later ❜
❛ hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof ❜
❛ what i lack in personality i make up for in…….. nothing ❜
❛ me? cancelled ❜
❛ an app that tells you how raven something is ❜
❛ be with someone who will take care of you. not materialistically but takes care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything that’s you ❜
❛ i love the infinite multiverse theory because that means there’s a universe where i’ve pulled every single fire alarm i’ve ever seen ❜
❛ name a more iconic duo than the lengths i’ll go to both get attention and to avoid it… i’ll wait ❜
❛ i just want to be treated very gently and smell like vanilla and wear only matte dusty rose lipstick ❜
❛ 2017 is going to be a very healing year because it’s going to force us to accept that 2007 was ten years ago not three and i think that’s the root of our collective issues ❜
❛ i just wanna do cute things with you like crush the patriarchy, fight for gender equality, and help to destroy racism ❜
❛ i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented… i forgot where i was going with this ❜
❛ how is 2016 already almost over?? like this bitch came in, fucked us up, then left like she gave us a gift ❜
❛ supercalifragilisticextentialcrisis ❜
❛ stop breaking your own motherfucking heart ❜
❛ co-napping is a beautiful thing. knock out with me so i know it’s real ❜
❛ *on the verge of tears* ok not that i care, but ❜
❛ it’s not you…. it’s your zodiac sign ❜
❛ i want to be loved so bad it’s pathetic and embarrassing ❜
❛ my heart is filled with hate and swag ❜
❛ ‘i don’t care’ i say, caringly, as i care deeply ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ we all ugly to somebody, don’t trip ❜
❛ do i have a crush or am i just idolizing this person for being vaguely nice to me? ❜
❛ my parents were arguing today and my mom said that justin timberlake wouldn’t treat her like this ❜
❛ kissing is hella rad but no one is kissing me so that makes me hella sad ❜
❛ everyone’s having their mid-life crisis at like 19 ❜
❛ there are just people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine ❜
❛ dermatologists HATE me… everyone hates me. i’m so alone ❜
❛ you know when you realize and you just… realize ❜
❛ a girl can respect herself and still take booty pics wtf y’all talkin about ❜
❛ i’m not badass i’m sadass i cry about everything ❜
❛ inspired by animal crossing, i’ve started doing this thing where i mail my best friends a framed picture of myself and then never speak to them again ❜
❛ i didn’t know double texting was such a big deal?? i have a lot to say ❜
❛ can someone please just be proud of me like fuck i’m trying ❜
❛ cosmo sex tip #367: when you’re in the mood, tell you partner ‘my spidey senses are tingling’ ❜

(  you can find the other popular text posts memes on my old blog: 1, 2 )

youtube

Today we are going to look at an amusing historical fact: The time that beloved poets Oscar Wilde and Walt Whitman met, got drunk, and slept together.

(Closed Captioning coming soon) 

Transcript Below:

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Screw Tradition

Emma Swan doesn’t want to spend a single night away from her pirate, least of all the night before their wedding. Attempts of persuasion through text message ensue.

Emma (10:45): I miss you already.

Emma (10:45): I hate being apart.

Killian looks down at his phone, after the third incessant buzz, and his heart clenches in his chest. He misses her too. Does she not see that? Does she think he wants to spend more than a second away from her?

Killian (10:47): Aye, love. I miss you too but it’s tradition.

He doesn’t know the rules when it comes to this sort of thing, if texting counts or if it doesn’t. They don’t really have anything like texting in the Enchanted Forrest so, for all he knows, this could bring just as bad of luck. But he’s willing to take the risk if only to bring her some sense of peace, unable to stand the thought of her alone in their house, thinking he doesn’t want to be with her so much it bloody hurts.

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Boyfriend Series; Wonwoo

- we all know jeon wonwoo calls himself a bag of luck as a joke
- but he really does starts believing he is one after meeting you
- for your first date, he takes you out for a simple lunch, a walk in the city and then ice cream for dessert but since it’s summer and it’s hot out, your ice cream melts and stains your shirt
- wonwoo sees how upset you are about it and offers to let you wash it off at the dorm since you guys are close by
- so you go inside the dorm and all the other members are like “ooohhh wonwoo who’s that??” and wonwoo just laughs and tells you to ignore them
- you’re waiting around in the living room while he leaves to go find something that could help with the stain, and you get a bit confused because the other members are nowhere to be seen
- all of a sudden the lights go off and you hear wonwoo call your name and he’s like “(name)?? are you okay?? stay where you are i’ll be right there!! argh those guys i swear…..”
- you slowly get up and try to follow the sound of his voice when you suddenly trip on something
- but you don’t land on the floor…… you fall over someone and accidentally kiss them on the lips
- the lights go back on and you and wonwoo immediately pull away out of embarrassment
- that’s right, your first kiss is accidental but it’s a cute little memory you think of every now and then
- but now whenever you both go on ice cream dates, wonwoo orders your ice cream in a cup so you don’t stain your clothes again how thoughtful right
- always has on his glasses and sweater paws and you cry
- blushes when you fix his glasses for him
- lends you his big sweaters and gets flustered when he sees you wearing them like his face turns all red and you’re like ??? wonwoo are you sick ???
- bookstore dates!!
- he likes to tell you his favorite passages from the books he reads
- when he wakes up with really bad bedhair you don’t want him to fix it because you find it so cute and when he tries to you slap his hand away like NO KEEP IT LIKE THAT
- “(name) i have to fix it i’m going to a fansign…..” “no.”
- afraid of dogs so when he sees one he hides behind you who’s shorter than him like gooD JOB WONWOO
- you always ask him to sing his solo part in “laughter/smile flower” because his voice is so deep and soothing wow
- you both get matching plushie keychains for your bags
- bumps into everything, honestly so accident-prone you have to keep band-aids on you at all times
- wonwoo doesn’t normally open up to people because he’s so used to keeping things to himself, but he learns how to open up to you and now you’re his go-to person whenever he’s feeling down
- he’s the type who doesn’t really want any advice or comments, he just wants someone who’ll listen to him
- tells you his lame jokes and gets offended when you don’t laugh but when you do he looks so proud of himself afterwards
- but sometimes he’s laughing too much while trying to tell you a joke which makes you laugh and when he finally tells you the joke you’re still laughing and he thinks it’s because of the joke he told you
- his phone’s lock screen is a picture of you wearing his round glasses
- made a playlist of all your favorite songs and listens to them before going to sleep
- says “i love you” quietly because he’s shy and when you tell him you love him too and his face turns bright red
- loves giving you back hugs
- hangs up polaroid pictures of you two on his wall
- loves watching movies with you and actually prefers staying at home to watch an old movie with you over going to an over-crowded cinema
- but he doesn’t mind going to the movie theatres with you if there’s a movie you really want to see
- he’s often really tired when you meet up because of his busy schedule so you let him sleep while you’re both on the train
- while he’s sleeping, he holds onto your hand tightly and his head falls on your shoulder
- you take pictures when this happens and laugh at his reaction when you show them to him later that day
- when you’re lying on your stomach watching videos on your phone or something, he likes to crush you by rolling over your back
- loses track of time when he’s with you and gets scolded by the other members for coming late to practice
- when you share food, he always lets you have the last piece
- tells mingyu all about you who pats you on the head and thanks you for making his best friend so happy
- but then wonwoo sees mingyu pat you on the head and gets so protective of you after that
- like he gives any member the look if he sees them get too close to you and they cower away lmao
- wonwoo is shy so he doesn’t say “i love you” very often
- but just know that he really, really does
- there are different ways to show someone you love them
- when he asks you about your day, if you’ve eaten; when he sacrifices sleep to go see you, when he hugs you tightly after not seeing you in a while or anything of the sort
- that’s how wonwoo tells you he loves you
- “you know what, (name)?”
- “what wonwoo”
- “you’re my won and only”
- “…ok that one’s pretty good”

Pages From A Book

Prompt: Roman is really close friends with the reader (hugs, kisses on the head, cuddling without sexual contact). He overhears a conversation with her and her close friend where she admits she’s been in love with him for ages but would never do anything because he’s married. He confronts her and she feels embarrassed and starts avoiding him. He’s hurt and misses her, trying to reach out every so often. He sees her finally getting herself together and dating someone new. Finally one night he can’t take it and goes to her room, telling her he’s always loved her. There are tears and desperation but they end up sleeping together. Open ending preferred.- Anon

This one really gave me fits guys, but I hope you like it!

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The Special Place

Originally posted by i-fuckworldus

Dylan x Reader

Summery: Dylan finally escapes the friendzone


You liked to think that you could completely trust your best friend, you had known him since before you could sit up, so out of the blue when he sent you a message asking for you to drop clothes at an address you agreed.

Now, looking at the tiny run down building you were doubting it. He didn’t notice you’d pulled up, jumping as he tried to light his cigarette but found the wind that hissed around the open field to strong.

“Ah thank you, you’re a life saver.” He chuckled as he gave up on the cigarette and hurried to help you grab on of the bags.

“I thought I had the wrong place.” You chuckled as he hurried you in out of the wind as it started to rain.

“This is um… kind of like my secret place.” He glanced at you and smiled when you spotted a picture of the two of you grinning on the bedside table.

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Q: How are you today?
A: Good … thank you !! Though THIS traffic …. #shame

Q: How many days till you are able to go home?
A: Just a bit over a month … counting down the days !!! #summerfun

Q: #AskClaire are you watching anything good? Binge worthy? 
A: Did someone say @SHO_TwinPeaks

Q: Where’s Eddie while you’re away? You must miss him! 
A: I do miss HER … (i won’t let her know you made that mistake !!) She’s waiting in Scotland for some SA treats !!

Q: You gonna be long? #onbehalfofmycompadres 
A: If I said another hour …. would you a) cry b) explode c) just go home ..????

Q: What do you consider to be your best scene from Season 3?
A: 🌴…. that’s a clue !!!

Q: What book are you currently reading? #AskClaire #Outlander
A: Mirror, Shoulder, Signal …or is it Mirror, Signal, Shoulder … anyway .. It’s GOOD.

Q: Will you get time off this summer before Season 4 filming begins?
A: Well I’d better … I hear people might want us to promote it #AskClaire

Q: What’s been your favorite thing you’ve learned since coming to South Africa to film? #AskClaire #Outlander
A: People’s incredible capacity to forgive and heal … and that it’s a process … LOVE SA ❤

Q: When will you come to France ? #AskClaire 
A: Soon, I hope !!

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Party Dress

Request: Jeff and the reader are together. They go to a friend’s party where Jeff ends up getting jealous seeing another guy flirting with her. So when they get home, he gets really dominant with her in bed and she is really submissive to him.

TAG SQUAD: I’m still working out my whole tagging situation so no tags for now. Hopefully I can get this together! Sorry for the inconvenience it causes. I’ll try to reblog this several times so hopefully everyone who wants to read it will find it!

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Lying Is The Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (Sebastian Stan x Reader)

A/N: I honestly have no idea what this is bC I wrote in just now lol. I figured what the heck right haha (: also I had to rush bC of my lima bean attention span. I may or may not make this into another series (;I hope you guys like it! ENJOY! -Delilah ❤

Warnings: flirting.

——–

You stared down at the glowing computer screen in complete boredom.

It was spring break, yet instead of partying it up like usual nineteen year olds, you were tucked away in your room on the Internet.

The sounds of the rain blowing against your bedroom window was the only audible thing in the room besides the Twilight movie playing in the background. Taking a sip of your wine, you clicked away.

Omegle was literally the poorest excuse for entertainment. There was nothing but either perverts, psychopaths and obnoxious teenagers that screamed “send nudes!” Which was the complete opposite of what you planned to do.

But this site was new, it still allowed you to talk to strangers, as there were no profile pictures, but you could see their usernames. After typing in the first thing that came to your mind, you finalized your profile and started chatting.

Immediately, you were reconnected to the chatting page, where the familiar words typed out.

“You are now chatting with a stranger, say hi!”

Princess97: hi (:

You watched as the stranger began typing.

SexySeaBass82: hey. (-:

Princess97: sooo I’m kinda new to this lol.

SexySeaBass82: same. gosh I feel so old.

Princess97: oh? how old are you?

SexySeaBass82: 34. you?

Your eyebrows instantly raised. He was a bit older than you expected. You didn’t think anything of it, though. You were just chatting, for the love of god.

Princess97: wowwww I thought you were actually old for a second. (;

SexySeaBass82: lol you sure it doesn’t bother you?

Princess97: cross my heart. (-;

SexySeaBass97: thank god lol. you’re the first decent dame i’ve met on here.

You don’t know how it happened, but you and the mysterious SexySeaBass82 ended up chatting for hours. You found out he lived in New York, which was pretty far from your hometown. He was a really big Marvel fan, especially when it came to the Winter Soldier.

The guy had a huge hard on for him.

SexySeaBass82: all i’m saying is, the actor who plays him is 100% the hottest hands down.

Princess97: you mean Steven Stan?

SexySeaBass82: his name is Sebastian Stan lol. and he’s gonna win an oscar this year. just you wait.

You snorted.

Princess97: the guy who plays captain america is hotter.

You knew that would get him. You let out a giggle as you saw him replying rapidly.

SexySeaBass82: UM ARE U BLIND?

SexySeaBass82: SEBASTIAN IS A DIME OK?

SexySeaBass82: i cannot believe you said that. smh.

Princess97: ok, ok. he’s sort of hot.

The reply you got was almost instant.

SexySeaBass82: YES! mission accomplished! (;

After a few more exchanged words, you said your goodbyes and you watched as his status went from online to offline.

You plopped onto your bed with a content sigh. It was completely irrational, but you really wanted to talked to the mysterious man again. You guys were practically the same person, just at different ages. And you were pretty sure he was just bored like you were.

You closed your eyes, letting the exhaustion of the day pull you under.

Little did you know, the man on the other side of the world was lying in his own bed, smiling like a dork before drifting off to sleep.

-FIN! 😊

Tag list of super awesome people! ❤️:
@sebbylover24
@i-write-tragedies-and-sins @melconnor2007
@kaitskennedyy @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x
@ballerinafairyprincess @harrisbn
@gingerbatchwife @dracu-ma-bucky
@shieldagentofthemonth
@witheringblooddemon @confuzzled-panda
@astralbarnes @jenna-luke @bellaballanda
@38leticia @davinaclairee

“Well, as weird as this movie has been, I’ll give it props for one thing... it didn’t end with an ‘it was all just a dream’ cliché.”

Carl the Animator: “Hey, Ted, guess what this next storyboard is.”

Ted the Animator: “…no way.”

Carl the Animator: “Yes way.”

Ted the Animator: “Oh, come on!”

Carl the Animator: “Everything after they passed out from the teacups ride was a dream.”

Ted the Animator: “That’s so– wait, what about the earlier shenanigans with the bad guy? A lot of crazy stuff happened before they slept!”

Carl the Animator: “She was revealed to just be a security lady who stole a KISS laboratory prototype zero-G belt.”

Ted the Animator: “…well, that’s definitely the weirdest sentence I’ve heard all week.”

Carl the Animator: “And I hadn’t even gotten to the prototype smelly red fog emitter.”

Ted the Animator: “What I want to know is how she could so perfectly contr–… hold up, didn’t she shoot energy blasts before Shaggy and Scooby slept?” 

Carl the Animator: “Actually, I think she did, yeah.”

Ted the Animator: “…didn’t KISS have magical powers before that, too?”

Carl the Animator: “I, uh… ah, yup, here we go. In the next scene, they reveal ‘em again to Shag and Scoob.”

Ted the Animator: “So, they did have those powers after all, and the movie went with the ‘It Was All Just A Dream (Or Was It?!?)’ motif just as an excuse to have all that crazy stuff towards the end.”

Carl the Animator: “I’m guessing in the writers’ room, they started with ‘let’s have a scene where Gene Simmons is proud of Shaggy and Scooby for breathing fire’ and worked backwards from there.”

Ted the Animator: “…ironically, all this insane nonsense is starting to make me feel like this experience w–”

Carl the Animator: “HOLD UP, DAPHNE’S MAKING OUT WITH PAUL STANLEY!!!”

Ted the Animator: “Wait, really? …wait, who?”

Carl the Animator: “The guy with the star over his eye!”

Ted the Animator: “Oh, him? That’s random.”

Carl the Animator: “I mean, Daphne was flirting with him nonstop.”

Ted the Animator: “She was? When?”

Carl the Animator: “…literally any scene they were together throughout the entire movie?”

Ted the Animator: “Ok, admittedly, I’m not the most observant in such areas.”

Carl the Animator: “I’m just confused about Daphne and Fred’s relationship… I mean, I’m no expert in Scooby-Doo canon, but from what I was told, it seemed they were semi-officially an item in the newer shows.”

Ted the Animator: “Yeah, I’m not exactly well-versed in the ‘shipping lore of this later stuff.”

Carl the Animator: “I mean, this whole movie, Fred’s been freaking out at Daphne fawning over Paul, and then she straight-up snogs ‘em for a good while… sure doesn’t look like she and Fred are a thing.”

Ted the Animator: “Guess not… wouldn’t you know it, the one script that gets sent to us in Polish is the one with all these mysterious plot details.”

Carl the Animator: “Wait wait wait, there’s more!”

Ted the Animator: “Ooh?”

Carl the Animator: “Fred’s all mopey, and they talk for a little bit…”

Carl the Animator: “…then she kisses him…”

Carl the Animator: “…after, I might add, flirting nonstop and making out in front of him, intensely, with the rhythm guitarist of KISS…”

Carl the Animator: “…and now he’s perfectly happy again?

Ted the Animator: “Oh.”

Carl the Animator: “And then the movie just ends?!

Ted the Animator: “I feel like this is gonna send conflicting messages to the kids watching at home.”

Carl the Animator: “All things considered… I wasn’t expecting ‘it’s ok if your love interest wants to also make out with a 65-year-old guitarist in facepaint’ to be the moral of the story, but hey, I guess Freddy’s a flexible guy.”

Ted the Animator: “…I…”

Carl the Animator: “…huh?”

Ted the Animator: “…I just… thought of something….”

Carl the Animator: “Yeah?”

Ted the Animator: “…if everything after Shaggy and Scooby passed out was a dream… then the first time they ‘woke up’ was a dream as well…”

Carl the Animator: “…uh-huh?”

Ted the Animator: “…so, does that mean they both dreamed this scene, too?”

Carl the Animator: “I… uh…”

Ted the Animator: “…”

Carl the Animator: “Y’know… some questions just shouldn’t have answers.”

Ted the Animator: “…I’m gonna take the plot’s advice, and pretend that us being hired to animate this movie was all just a dream.”