i know this by firsthand experience

Lately, I’ve been seeing something slightly bothersome around studyblr, and I just want to say something about it. Basically, there seems to be this attitude cropping up (or at least that I’ve seen/heard about more frequently these days) that your grades reflect your level of effort, or that by simply working hard and putting more effort in, your grades will automatically improve. I disagree.

Yes, there are certainly some cases where you’re already proficient in a class and if you just put in the extra time to study, you’d do better. But there are some classes where grades are not a measure of the level of effort you put in, and therein lies my biggest issue with the grading system and these types of studyblr posts in general. This was certainly the case with me in honors physics (so bear with me, because I have a very large point to make with the following anecdote).

Personally, I’ve always had “easy A” classes where I don’t have to work hard; my brain and academic strengths simply favor me in that particular subject, so with minimal effort I can still be top in the class. And then I see peers who go in for tutoring every day, who spend hours studying and meeting with teachers, who basically invest 100 times the effort I do… and still can’t get above a B or C.

This is not to mention people who take classes that are “reaches” and, accordingly, don’t do so well – even though they work hard – because it’s a challenge. Then there are those who take lower level classes but have capabilities beyond that – and don’t need to put effort in – thus giving them an unfairly easy A. Does their A mean that they work harder? That they’re a better student, studier, scholar, intellectual? Hell to the no.

English is one of those “easy A” classes for me. I’m just innately strong in verbal-linguistic intelligence (going off of Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligences), so I’ve literally never had to study for English tests or reading comp/writing. But put me in other classes, particularly science classes? Well, that’s something else entirely.

Which brings me to junior year honors physics. 

Guys, I studied my ASS off, for hours at a time. I desperately Skyped people in my class nearly every night to try to understand the homework and spent every lunch block trying to master the material. I met with my physics teacher and tutor all the time and had a dozen anxiety attacks (and I mean actual, diagnosed anxiety attacks) over that one class because I tried harder than I’ve ever tried… and I got a B for the whole year. I was the one who dreaded seeing that red number scrawled on my test, who shoved it into my backpack before others could see and blinked back tears, thinking, But I studied so hard!

Physics was a nightmare I was desperate to forget by the end of junior year. But then a couple things happened that shocked me, and I instantly thought of them when I read some of these posts about good effort = good grades.

Now, my physics teacher, who has a reputation for being on the strict side and being a tough grader, has had four teaching assistants (TAs) in five years of teaching. Most science teachers at my school have as many as five a year. At the end of 11th grade, after I’d scraped by with a B in his class, he asked me if I wanted to be a TA. Out of the entire grade – out of the multitude of students I’d watched parade past with straight A’s and “that test was so easy” and “I barely studied” and “sorry Edye I don’t know how else to explain it to you” – he chose me.

I think I (very graciously) blurted out, “What? Why?” because I was so taken aback. He said that I was hardworking and dedicated – that I’d always gone above and beyond in my studying and meeting with him – and he wanted someone like me to be a TA. I was flattered, and I thoroughly enjoyed being a TA during senior year. (Also, anyone who doesn’t think he’s super nice is incredibly wrong. He’s awesome.)

Two years later, I got to read his college recommendation for me. Bear in mind that I was not, based on my grades, a top student in his class. And this is what he wrote for his opening line:

Honors Physics is a rigorous course that draws from the strongest students in the junior class and Edye proved to be one of those students.

What? He had seen my report card, right? I got worse grades than all of my friends. I got a goddamn 66 on a test in that class, my all time low. He continued:

One of the many examples of Edye’s commitment [is when she] had been ill and missed quite a bit of school and consequently had a lot of school work to make up in all of her classes.  Many students in this situation would take one or more classes pass / fail for the quarter; Edye would not take the pass/fail option and insisted she complete all the work and complete it with the grade she would earn.  She did in fact complete all of the work and with a B-.  A remarkable accomplishment considering she kept current with her studies while making up all of the missed work.

He called a B-minus “a remarkable accomplishment.” Did he say “too bad she didn’t put enough effort in, which was reflected in a B-minus” or “she only got a B-minus, so I guess she didn’t try hard enough”? No, he praised the amount of effort I put in, even though I didn’t even get a “good” grade.

I’m hardly one to knock putting in effort, but what bothers me is that this attitude, that effort = good grades, has the potential to make people feel bad. To feel like if they aren’t acing a class even though they’re studying harder than anybody else, well, they just aren’t trying hard enough. Yes, grades are important. So is effort. But they are not always directly correlated. As is evidenced by my story, sometimes people who get lower grades have worked even harder then those who got high grades. And, if they’re lucky, this will be acknowledged. (I can certainly attest that while I’ve been praised by English teachers for my writing skills and intellect, they’ve never singled me out for putting in an exceptional amount of effort. They know that while I’m proactive and responsible, I don’t try super hard because, well, I don’t really need to in order to get a good grade.)

Encourage other students to put in a reasonable amount of effort; recommend different study methods. But don’t tell them that good effort = good grades. Teach them to measure their success by looking at how productive they’re being, how proactive they are in reaching out for help, how dedicated they are to their education, how resilient they are in the face of obstacles, how committed they are to school. Admire those who refuse to take the easy way out, even if they only get a C. These qualities, which are far more important than a 4.0, just don’t always translate directly into good grades.

I dislike seeing this message all over Tumblr, that to get better grades you just have to try harder – which carries with it the implication that if you don’t get good grades, it’s because you aren’t putting enough effort in – when I know from firsthand experience that this is not always true. I strongly believe in trying to be the best student you can be, rather than trying to be in the top 5%. But in the end, do what works for you. Just take it with a grain of salt.

And to my followers, and anyone reading this… please know that, if you work hard regardless of your grades, you are already a model student, and you are absolutely someone I look up to.

breath of spring

Summary: He works with color all day, but you just might be the brightest thing he’s ever laid his eyes on.
Pairing: Taehyung | Reader
Genre: Fluff; Florist AU
Word Count: 9,542
Author’s Note: I feel like it’s been so long so I’ve written something soft and breezy and cheesy and I missed it.

.

The regular nine a.m. call time finds Kim Taehyung at the forefront of the shop, gritting teeth together as he tries to balance the morning coffee along with his keys while trying to make sure his backpack won’t fall down his arm to disrupt his attempt. He barely manages the feat, somehow able to unlock and push open the front door before the coffee spills over. Both hands find their place again underneath the tray as he uses his hips to propel the door closed behind him.

Much like usual morning greetings, he doesn’t get one except for the sweet, floral fragranced scent that is as sharp and prominent as it is comforting and sweet. He’s been working here for a little more than three years, yet the sight and smell of flowers never fail to bring a smile to his face, never fails to help bring forth some good cheer to his day as he roams towards the back of the shop. He rests the coffee on the counter, slipping off his backpack to situate it in the back room, returning back to the floor to get things started before Kim Namjoon arrives. There isn’t much, just setting up the cashier and watering the plants and rearranging some bouquets that are due to be picked up first thing in the morning. Some adjustments here and there, giving the flowers a last minute spray to give it a fresh, dewy, appearance. He’s just setting down the second of five bouquets when the bell overhead jingles in correspondence to the arrival of someone new.

Taehyung looks up from his spraying, eyes lighting up as he takes in the newest addition to the shop. “Good morning!” He greets brightly to the customer, a man with a hesitance in his step, looking lost yet like he’s supposed to be here and Taehyung is well-tuned to his attitude at once. “Can I help you with something?”

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Heya just a friendly reminder to all my fellow Zelda blogs out there, with Breath of the Wild coming out this Friday; please be careful about posting spoilers! If you do want to post spoilers, be sure to tag it with a specific tag (like say for example, “botw spoilers”) so people can block it/blacklist it. I know it’s cool to be the first person to post something but let’s give some people a chance to experience it firsthand when the game comes out.

Ten Years (Part 8)

Summary: AU. When a major account is on the line at work, reader is forced to revisit some old connections at her ten year high school reunion for a chance at success. Will she let the past consume her, or will she see the future in her grasp?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,475 (minus the flashback) (yes I need to stop)

Warnings: language, sarcasm, fluff, mentions of past cheating, drinking, potentially anxious situations, confrontation, crying (every chapter has the same warnings because I’m melodramatic)

A/N: Tags are closed. I rewrote this whole damn thing again, and I’m an angsty bag of trash today, so it’s completely reflected here. I kept asking myself out loud, “Why are you like this?”

Part: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 -

Originally posted by sebjpeg

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the best part of seeing ClexaCon things is to watch this place created to celebrate wlw - an actual, proper space. one you can treat the wlw characters like the heroes they are, where we can have a safe space for wlw around the world to go there and meet their favorite actresses, where these same actresses are celebrated and have the opportunity to have a firsthand experience of the impact their acting has - i know they go to other cons, but in these places being wlw is just secondary, it’s like you’re stealing a spot or enjoying the crumbs; while ClexaCon is about them, it’s there to celebrate them. You can see by the way the actresses are reacting to the crowds, they never saw so many people gathered because of their characters like this. We also have a space to discuss what representation means, how to do it better, what the shows and media in general are doing right now. We have a place where people who care about this can meet each other - and what can happen in the future because of this? They’re also empowering artists, journalists, youtubers and people in general that can speak for us. Besides that, ClexaCon is a place where wlw can be free to be themselves, wear their wlw shirt without fear, meet another fans and have the experience to see that they are valid. 

Everything we talked about through this year and before that are important issues, but they’re often invalidated, so having a con out there where we can see people talking about this is a way to humanize the discussion.

anonymous asked:

hc for kuroo, terushima, tsukishima, & iwaizumi w/ a tiny & cute girlfriend who has a fierce side and is a fuckin bOSS at self defense like if anyone bothers them, she steps in front of them and goes from the sweetest looking bunny to the most intimidating person on earth and she will fUCK ANYONE WHO BOTHERS THEM UP

LOL, I love this so much, Anon! I think it’s so freaking adorable and all of these boys would just freaking LOVE having a girl like this!

Hope you enjoy!


Kuroo Tetsurou

  • Lol, I can see something like this happening for the first time in their relationship and she’s not taking any shit as she steps up with his arms crossed over her chest and Kuroo’s all “babe, I got this” right before she throws down and takes the dude to the ground in a single blow.
    • Um, SHOOK. But also, like, that was totally the hottest things he’s ever seen and, god damn, that’s his girlfriend and holy fuck he’s never felt so turned on in his life.
  • But he’s totally impressed, like, he knew she did self defense, but that seemed like it was on a completely different level. Doesn’t matter though, all he want to do is get her home so she can demonstrate all those badass moves on him!
    • Legit, boy would probably get too excited about that and then end up getting hurt because he tensed the wrong way in the middle of something.

Terushima Yuuji

  • Duuuudes, Terushima probably fell victim to her awesome moves when they first met! Like, he was trying to get her number or something coming off rather strongly and probably stepped a little closer than he really should’ve and then BAM! He’s staring up at the ceiling with stars behind his eyes!
    • Then she shows up in his vision - still flat on his back - and he thinks an angel has showed up in his life because she is by far the most extraordinary person he’s ever met.
  • Guarantee he ends up in that same position several more times before she gets anywhere close to agreeing to go out with him. His persistence can be quite endearing if he goes about it the right way.
  • And when someone actually starts to mess with them, this boy wouldn’t even bat an eye when she steps forward with that Look on her face. He’d just be like “dude, ya sure you wanna keep going down this path?” He’d totally reward her with kisses and cuddles afterward too!

Tsukishima Kei

  • Seriously? I feel like this kid would provoke anyone because he KNOWS that she can take them down. So when they’ve finally had enough of his shit, they’re making a go at him and the next thing they know they’re arm is being twisted behind their back and they’re on their knees.
    • This little shit would just smirk with his hands in his pockets and just be all “oh yeah, and have you met my girlfriend?” He’d be all smug that he had the upper hand even though he didn’t do anything except start shit!
    • LOL, the dude is still probably trapped there on the ground as Tsuki strolls up to give her kisses as thanks! Random dude is NOT amused.
  • As much as she loves this tol bean, no doubt that he’s been the victim to her defensive moves. Maybe his teasing goes a little too far and before he knows it, his vision goes dark because she pressing into a pressure point at just the right spot. Apologies are instant, followed by pouting.

Iwaizumi Hajime

  • These two probably took the self defense class together, that’s how they met and got to know each other. They were partners through the course and kept seeing each other afterwards, so he’s had firsthand experience at just how good she is.
  • So it really is no surprise that she goes to take on whoever is bugging them head on. Like, both Iwa and this random dude have amused expressions on their faces, but for OBVIOUSLY different reasons: the random guys thinks it’s just adorable this little girl wants to fight whereas Iwaizumi KNOWS that she can kick his ass.
    • Iwaizumi probably stands over the dude after he’s been taken to the ground and is like “I probably should’ve warned you but I didn’t feel like it” before wrapping his arm around her shoulders and taking her out for ice cream!
  • I’m sure when a bunch of them all went out together, Oikawa kept pestering her to show him her moves! And Iwa keeps being like “you’re stupid, Shittykawa, let it go” but then she agrees and Makki films it and posts it on social media and it’s the funniest day of their lives (except Oikawa’s, lol).
News

Dean Ambrose/OC: Your baby isn’t so much a baby anymore, and she has some news to tell you. FLUFFFF. Sequel to Late Night Chat and Meet the Roster.

I wrote this for my lovely anon who’s been so helpful and lovely and nice and I love them a lot and they love my cute lil domestic Dean series so….Here we go. It’s a lil bit different than the other two lmao anyways, here it is.

Y’ALL I DEADASS FORGOT TO TAG PEOPLE LMAO AIGHT SO HERE: @lavitabella87 @screamersdontdance @omgmissmillie @everybodyfinnfreeze @shadow-of-wonder @laochbaineann @justtookawaii @sarrahcha @twiistedbliiss @hotspurmadridista @niazha16 @happelu970 @officialbroski10-blog @crowleysqueenofhell @lilmisscrisis @antigonemaia @imnoaingeal @littledeadrottinghood @imagineall-the-fandoms @fuckyeahbulletclub @hiitsmecharlie @macfizzle @bizclizbaybay @oraclegazes @culturalrebel @welshwitch5 @wrasslesmut @actualamyautopsy @blondekel77 @meaganottiz02 @karaboomhower @valeonmars @squirrel666 @livingthestrongstyle @damnbuvky @dmm-wts @caramara3 @abbie03d @roserae527 @superrezzy00

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anonymous asked:

this isnt a question and i dont expect an answer but i wanted to say that when my mother died that is exactly how I felt and to see it written in such a raw and honest way is relieving. It's something thats almost taboo to talk about and well, just wanted to let you know that youre a hell of a good writer. whether this is you writing from experience or youre just good at it, it hit me deep and honestly sav, youve got this. will buy the hell out of your book.

this means so much, honestly. i’m so sorry you had to go through that - i’m not writing from experience, but i’ve been doing endless research on grief and grieving, especially in teens, and i’ve been worried i wouldn’t be able to do the intensity of it justice without experiencing it firsthand, but it means loads to hear i’ve got at least a bit of it on the mark. all my love pal <3

2

Hey guys! It’s been a year since I made Lunette and I want to get a new short film going! 

Here are a few very quick speedy concept drawings as I’ve just been churning them out to get a feel of environment/atmosphere etc

I’ve had this idea in my head for a long time to tell the story of a deer, representing a transgender person, who is seen to have antlers through reflections in the water. 

I think what being transgender means; is so misunderstood with so many people so I’d love to try and represent it in a beautiful way that might help people see what it really means.

It’s a sensitive thing to handle and I hope I can ask for the help of others through this project as I am not trans so I want to be careful not to misrepresent or upset anybody in the community, I’d love to get those who experience it firsthand to help steer this project in the right direction!

I’d love to know your thoughts! 

Can I Create Emotionally Complex Characters if I Don't "Get" People?

Hey there, community.  Recently we received an anon message asking an extremely important question: could they, a person who is terrible at understanding people, still create emotional depth in characters?  The more I thought about it, the more I realized this anon couldn’t be the only person worrying the same thing: is the development of my story dependent on my interpersonal skills?  If I don’t understand people, am I bound to create shallow characters?  With that on my mind, I decided to answer by speaking to you all in article form, since this is a widely-applicable concern.  Anon, I hope this is helpful to you.

I’ll be speaking from the perspective of my own autism and the struggles I sometimes have with empathy.  Bear in mind, followers, that there are many, many reasons people might struggle with interpersonal empathy and that everyone’s experience is vastly different, so take what you will from this and run with it.  I mean to speak to as broad an audience as possible.

Character Development as a Codependent Process

So:  Is it possible to improve your own understanding of people to improve your character development, and does the development of characters depend on this?  Or is characterization a separate process entirely?  The answer to both of those questions is yes.  It is possible to improve interpersonal skills and learn how to understand people; there are a variety of ways to go about it.  Often, you can use your character development as an exercise in teaching yourself how to understand people in real life.  For me, a highly analytical person, that process has involved lots of reading, lots of thinking about why I love the characters I love, lots of character meta from other people talking about the characters they love (thanks, Tumblr), and a lot of long dinner conversations with my writing partner about how our characters respond to the environments we put them in.  You’ll notice that most of those things have highly constructive elements.  For me, the key to deepening my understanding of my characters - and therefore to creating emotional landscapes inside and between them - lies in treating them as complex, 3-D puzzles where every piece affects several other pieces and chain reactions are part of the norm. 

It may seem contradictory, but the more I treat them objectively in terms of cause and effect - in other words, the more I think of them as intricate machines - the more organic my understanding becomes of how they think and feel, and why it matters.

So on one hand: yes, you can improve those skills, and you can even use your craft to help yourself do that.  On the other hand, the mindset of using character development as a tool in that way necessitates a pre-existing mindset that character development, like our anon suggested, is its own process entirely. 

Character Development as an Independent Phenomenon

Here’s what I mean:  I spend a lot of time thinking about character development, psychology and interaction.  I spend a lot of time talking about it.  I’ve learned a lot about how to piece those things together to a) understand what makes my favorite characters tick and b) create realistic human impressions when I write about my own.  In theory, I have emotional connections to those characters and an intimate understanding of how they work.  Yet at the same time, I do not understand people in real life.  I struggle to find empathy for people around me unless they’re already very, very close to me.  My first reaction to other people is usually a negative one - I see only the very shallow, the very obvious, and the very stereotypical assumptions that are often made during flash judgements, and for me that’s usually as far as I get.  That says nothing about my desire to get to know people or to show compassion for them; it just means that in day-to-day life, I don’t really understand them.

Does that affect my ability to create sympathetic, relatable, fascinating characters?  Not really.  The reason is because there is a fundamental difference between the spontaneity of our own human interactions and the scenarios we create for ourselves as we work.  The first environment is real life: unplanned and uncontrolled, with lots of different wills bumping up against one another and no time for analysis.  The second environment is where we hold all the strings.  When we write, we enter a laboratory where every variable can be analyzed, understood, duplicated, altered and controlled by us and only us.  Nothing happens that we don’t authorize.  No character acts outside the bounds of our own understanding.  In short, it’s a safe environment to explore in, and there’s no opposing consciousness to take control from us.  That means replicating human empathy is a far easier, more foolproof, less time-sensitive endeavor.

And Here’s a Reminder:

You will gain points of emotional reference as you go about your life.  Just as you develop an understanding of what types of things affect your characters emotionally, things will come along to affect you.  To illustrate my point, here’s a personal example: six months ago, I learned what it meant to loathe someone so much it made you want to rip out fistfuls of their hair, claw their faces with your fingernails, and throw them out into the snow.  From the same incident, I learned that I am far more easily angered when my friends are hurt than when I myself am hurt, and that my aggressive streak is the most dangerous when it comes to protecting people I love.  Previously, I just thought I was an aggressive, vengeful prick who obsessed over people I didn’t like for far too long.  The more you know, huh?

Most importantly, that incident gave me firsthand knowledge about how those emotions feel.  The next time I sit down to write about an angry character, I know I’ll have new material to draw from.  I’ll have better words to use and a more realistic end goal in mind.  I’ll have an emotional experience I can manipulate to fit the needs and circumstances of whichever character is angry.  And that’s the heart of what character development is, when you get down to it: it’s taking what you know of the human condition and pulling it apart to see what works (or what doesn’t).  And just like we writers are always looking for new ideas, we should be keeping our eyes out for our emotional experiences, as well. 

To summarize:

Yes, improving your empathy towards other people is possible.  It takes practice and exercise, like any muscle, but for most people it is possible.  And yes, it is also possible to experience the emotional development of your characters in a completely independent context.  You can even have both happening at the exact same time, as I tried to illustrate above.  How these processes manifest depends entirely on your experiences as a person and the methods you’ve developed so far as a writer.

Don’t forget, you’re still living.  Experiences will come to you that will shape and deepen your understanding of people.  You still have a lot to live and learn from - we all do.

So good luck to all of you writers out there, especially those of you who, like me, struggle with empathy.  I have every confidence that with time and practice, you’ll come to your own understandings and find ways to think about these ideas that work for you.  Now go out there and get developing!

–Senga

The Empire

Fandom: WWE

Pairing: Baron Corbin/Roman Reigns

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Thirst Party Crew, welcome aboard! It’s my birthday today, so I got a little (a lot) indulgent. We return to Suplex City! Tagging @tox-moxley, @oraclegazes, @hardcorewwetrash and a huge Thank You to @culturalrebel for their fantastic input! Enjoy!


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DO APPROPRIATE RESEARCH ON ANYTHING YOU ARE UNCERTAIN ABOUT.

Particularly, though, I’m going to talk about how I’m noticing some people obviously aren’t doing their homework for DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. This isn’t really offensive like getting mental illness or cultural stuff incorrect, but it’s still not good because it can be confusing for those who have done the research and/or have firsthand experiences.

Those people have their muses reacting realistically, then some people just write whatever they think is right, then their partner has to work with or around that incorrect information… which in turn can be confusing to the other and it’s a mess, actually.

It can also get misinterpreted by others who don’t know about the subjects either, and since they remember what one person was writing about it, they might feel like they don’t need the research. So it spreads… and therefore more mess.

FOR DRUGS:

  • look up the side effects and the dangers, longterm and short term
  • how they’re measured
  • whether or not it’s actually addictive, plus withdrawal symptoms
  • what possible medical reasons they are meant to be consumed for
  • how it can react with alcohol and other drugs
  • if they’re over the counter or prescribed or made illegally
  • the ways they’re made and/or distributed
  • the ways they can be consumed (orally, inhaled, injected, etc.)
  • different names the drug can be called by
  • relevant laws in the location your character is at if applicable
  • the likelihood of a tolerance being built if its even possible
  • how much your character will be affected relative to their size and amount consumed
  • and possibly even the history of the drug

FOR ALCOHOL:

  • look up a bunch of different kinds, possibly even familiarize yourself with brands
  • understand the standard drink sizes
  • check the alcohol content of the drink your character is consuming
  • the side effects and the dangers longterm and short term
  • how it can react with certain drugs
  • learn about how someone of your character’s size can be affected, how a tolerance is built and how it’s developed by someone of your character’s size
  • definitely research alcoholism and alcohol abuse if your character is supposed to be an alcoholic or heavy drinker
  • make sure you know withdrawal symptoms for the above
  • research alcohol poisoning too
  • and relevant laws in the location your character is at if applicable

If you are writing someone who frequently uses a drug or drinks alcohol, and it’s a lifestyle for them, pretty much everything I just listed for both is necessary to know. Don’t only base stuff on what you’ve seen in shows and movies.

Not all of this information may be possible for you to find. If that happens, or any time you feel particularly uncertain, you can go to someone you know / ask around for someone who would be okay with sharing firsthand experiences. If they aren’t writers themselves, just explain you’re a writer!

AND REMEMBER! Doing research can really help you get to know your characters better, or even your partners’ characters better, and you can develop them much further.

like not for nothin but i uh. have firsthand experience with christian homophobia having 1. mindlessly perpetuated it as a child 2. had to unlearn it 3. openly discussed the struggles of being a gay christian and helped others work through it.

i know when someone is interested in learning, i know when someone is suffering from a toxic environment, and when someone is just a plain and simple bigot.

okay sorry for more drama posts, this is wholly unrelated and not even personal

But there’s some pastebin list going around of people on Balmung to avoid. I’d really advise taking everything with a grain of salt and not spreading it around. It seems likely the author whose name is all over it didn’t intend for it to be public/spread (potentially by someone on the list who found it and shared it so it would bite the author in the ass for revenge). There’s no way of knowing what on there is misinformation.

There are some names on there who I can say with firsthand experience are on there with good reason, but there’s no telling with anyone else and no one should jump the gun and assume that nothing on the list is slander or misinformation just because they dislike someone they see on it or have known someone on the list to be abusive. I’ve even had someone on the list tell me that some the alts credited to being them there aren’t even actually them. So please be careful what you share and what you believe.

anonymous asked:

Can I just say that I love the fact that your like the elucien sex guru of this fandom !! 😂 lol, on a less steamier note, I was wondering if you had any headcannons about what happens when they have nightmares ? Like how do they help each other out of it and what do they do to soothe and comfort the other ? I just thought that it would be kinda cute, though it has no relevance ! tysm x

hahaha oh god “elucien sex guru” let me just put that on my resume. But I AM HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT THIS HEADCANON; there’s not enough fluff in my life.

When Elain has nightmares, once she’s awake and no longer actively freaking out, Lucien wraps her in a blanket and hoists her in his arms and takes her out to the balcony their room has; he sits and holds her and they look at the stars. Being outdoors calms her, as does his voice, so Lucien talks to her, tells her stories of his childhood or bits of the fae history/mythology that she’s still learning. Sometimes Elain doesn’t want to go back to sleep afterwards so they steal food from the kitchen and stay up and snack and talk for a while.

I don’t think Lucien gets nightmares very often, I think his trauma sort of manifests as… I don’t know if I’d call it disassociating, because I don’t have firsthand experience with that and I don’t want to label things incorrectly/ be insensitive about a real symptom of mental illness, but he has times where he spaces out/ shuts down and gets really quiet and stuck in his own head, spiraling hard into bad memories/ thoughts. Sometimes it’s triggered by something, sometimes it comes on out of nowhere. Elain can always tell, even though it’s not always obvious, and tries to ground him with physical touch: just gently stroking his face, his arms, his hair, holding his hand. very patient and gentle. Sometimes she’ll get him to sit and rest his head on her shoulder or in her lap or the like. It takes him a couple of minutes to come out of it, sometimes longer, but eventually he’ll come back to himself little by little and start returning the affection. They usually cuddle for a bit after this if they can, not talking. Lucien loves her so much for all of this.

nytimes.com
Opinion | The Importance of Finding Family
After my mother died, I needed other disabled adults to show me the way. And I found them.
By Alaina Leary

Like every other child, I asked questions: “Why can’t you drive a car?” “Will I be able to drive?” “How come I have trouble walking up the stairs and my best friend doesn’t?” My mom helped me navigate the early years smoothly, and even when we didn’t have all the answers — audiologists were continually confused about my trouble understanding speech, which we later learned was sensory processing disorder, because I passed every hearing test easily — my mom figured out how to accommodate my needs. We didn’t know at first exactly why I had trouble walking up the stairs, but my mom was happy to hold my arm as I ascended each step two feet at a time so that I wouldn’t fall.

She was my first role model for what a disabled adult looks like. We didn’t use the words accessibility and accommodations, but I learned what they were from firsthand experience. We took public transportation everywhere, and when we occasionally needed to go off the grid, my grandparents and my aunt stepped in as chauffeurs.

Tricked

Requested by: Anon
Prompt:  "Could I please have a full Connor fic please? Could reader be Zoe’s best friend or smth and Zoe knows reader has a crush on Connor so she keeps trying to set them up. Then one day she goes to the both of them and is like “Okay I set you two up on blind dates!!” But Connor not reader knows the other is going on a blind date. And obviously,,,, Zoe tricks them into going out with each other. Also can reader be kind of quiet and shy please? Thank you!!!“
Warnings: None
Words: 1,377
Y/N: Your Name

A/N: I changed the prompt a little because let’s be real Zoe hated Connor (understandably) and probably did this more as a test to make sure he would be good to her friend rather than immediately get on board with a relationship between the two. And this is after he gets help for his issues because a relationship in the mental state he was in during the play would be awful for both parties, I know from firsthand experience.

-

You didn’t know why you’d agreed to this. You really didn’t know. You could’ve been at home, reading a book or playing on a computer but instead, here you were outside a dumb movie theatre waiting for your dumb blind date. You rubbed your arms and looked around, scanning the crowds of people, searching for anyone that looked remotely your age. God damn Zoe, you sighed internally. You wouldn’t have been in this situation if she hadn’t insisted you go on a date to get over your crush on her brother, Connor.

You felt your heart ache just at the mention of his name. Connor… you’d never really talked to him, only seeing his face and nodding whenever you went over to Zoe’s house, and that wasn’t a lot to base a relationship on. Hell, even a crush on. But he was really attractive… You felt your face flush and shook your head. No, you couldn’t think of Connor right now, you were about to go on a date with a whole other person, being distracted by the thoughts of another would be rude.

And very voyeuristic; said a voice in the back of your head that you opted to ignore, raising your hand to check the time on your watch. 6:24. The movie would start soon, and your date still hadn’t shown up. You craned your neck and looked around desperately, what if you had been stood up? Or he’d found a cute girl and stood you up? Or- or-

A tap on your shoulder stopped you in your panic, and you twisted around and came face to face with someone’s chest. They were wearing a button up red flannel and a pair of loose blue jeans that you, very alarmingly, recognised from somewhere. You raised your head, eyes trailing up the person’s chest and neck until they reached a familiar pair of clear blue eyes, staring lazily over your casual jeans and jacket attire. Your throat closed up and you fought a gasp, hands shaking as they tilted their head.

"Y/N?” Asked Connor, sliding his hands into his jeans, looking you over once more. You stuttered out a yes, cursing Zoe in your mind. Connor. She set you up on a date, with Connor. The exact person she’d stated she didn’t want you dating. He nodded and gave you the smallest of smiles, you nearly melted into a mess of flustered goo.
“So, you’re the blind date my sister set me up on?” You nodded again, still unable to speak as Connor snorted.
“You able to talk or…?” You looked down at the comment, flushing in embarrassment and missing the look of guilt on Connor’s face.
“Y-Yes. I can talk.” You managed to stutter out, taking a deep breath and straightening your back, and he pulled a hand out of his pockets and offered it to you.
“Cool. We should head inside.” He said as you cautiously reached forward and took his hand, yelping as he gripped it tight and walked you into the theatre.

He paid for both the tickets and the food, despite your attempts at stopping him. When you finally went into the movie theatre you felt an air of awkwardness settle around you. You realised you didn;t really know what to do, nor what the movie you were about to watch was about. But as more and more young couples walked in and took seats around you, you picked up on the genre.

A romantic movie. Of course, Zoe would choose that kind of film, but why would Connor agree to it? Hell, how had she even got him to agree with going on a blind date anyway? You fidgeted in your seat until the adverts started, glancing over at Connor every now and then. He was shovelling popcorn into his mouth, eyes glued to the screen and completely unware of you. Which in your mind was a good and bad thing. Because at least he wasn’t looking at you, but he also wasn’t looking at you. You slouched a little in your chair and took a sip of your drink.

It was a good 40 minutes into the film before anything happened. So bored by the generic love-story, you could feel yourself dozing off, flitting in and out of concentration until you heard movement beside you. You assumed it was just Connor adjusting in his seat and thought nothing of it until you felt a warm arm slide around the back of your neck, pulling you into your date’s shoulder and holding you there. Your voice caught in your throat as you gazed up, catching Connor’s smiling face in the flickering darkness.

“This is a date, isn’t it? We might as well play the part” He whispered, a cheeky lilt to his voice as his other hand took yours, playing with your fingers. You were speechless, and stayed that way for the rest of the film, trying hard not to concentrate on the way Connor was trailing his fingers on your arm and shoulder. When the screen finally went dark and people clapped, you and Connor were the last to get up out of your seats. You closed your eyes, blushing as you whispered to him.

“I don’t want to get up, you’re really comfy.” You mumbled shyly, flushing, even more, when you heard Connor laugh, rumbling in his chest.
“Guess we’ll have to do this more often then?” He asked, turning to look at you, laughing harder as you nodded back with wide awe-filled eyes. He wanted another date! With you! You’d barely even talked, was this a dream?

“Yes! I-I mean yeah… if you’re cool with that…” You bought your volume down and cringed as he took his arm back and stood, stretching and pulling out his phone.
“Cool, I’ll text you sometime this week, don’t worry about me not having your number. Zoe gave it to me.” He said with a side grin, as you gave him a dubious look.
“She did?” You asked, very unconvinced of this statement. Connor shrugged, cheeks flushing a bit. Oh shit, he looked cute like that, so cute you nearly missed what he said next.

“Well, more like I heard she was setting you up on a blind date and I decided to… crash it?” He rubbed his neck awkwardly as your mouth dropped open. That made a lot more sense than Zoe putting you two on a date. Still, if he wasn’t your actual date, then where the hell was he? Connor seemed to be reading your mind as he explained.
“I sent the guy a text te- asking him uh… politely, to not show up…” Just from the tone of his voice, you could tell that he wasn’t telling the complete truth.
“A-and you did this because…?” You tilted your head as he looked to the side, blushing even harder now.
“I wanted to get to know you better. You seemed like a person I could get along with, and before I wasn’t ready to befriend or even date new people, but now I want to give it a go. Lame, I know.” He scoffed at himself, looking to the floor while you stood rigid. You felt like you had to be dreaming, or were having a trick played on you. Any second now someone was going to jump out with a camera and people would start making fun of you. But no such camera came, and as the silence between you two went on, you found the reality of the situation sinking in.

“Th-that’s not lame.” You raised your voice as you spoke, taking a step forward.
“If you want to make friends, I would be more than happy to be one of your first.” You said a little more confidently, as Connor raised his head, eyes connecting with yours sending a jolt of electricity through your body. He searched your face for a few seconds before taking your hand.
“Friends and then… maybe something more.” It wasn’t a question, more a reassurance. A promise, and one that left your heart slamming on your ribcage and your mind screaming. You nodded with a dry mouth, linking your fingers with his.
“And then, maybe something more.”

so there’s few things that irk me more than poorly written, poorly researched, or straight-up rude portrayals of greek life. believe me, i know what hollywood has painted sorority/fraternity life like, but i also know firsthand how it’s not necessarily true. so i’m not going to disclose my organization or school in here, but this is going to be a basic rundown of what you need to know if you’re going to write something involving collegiate greek life! i would also like to thank @dctvrph for her assistance in making sure i covered everything as well as offering another point of view!

***DISCLAIMER this is based on my own experience. this isn’t the be all end all for greek information. i may forget some things, i may cover things that don’t happen on other campuses across the us. etc etc. so don’t rake my ass across the coals if i forgot something or it doesn’t perfectly line up with what your university does. anyway, moving on.

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So. After watching Fantastic Beasts my biggest come away was this: Albus Dumbledore was everyone’s most problematic of all problematic faves.
It was bad enough when leaving Harry Potter in the care of Vernon ‘No Post on Sundays’ and Petunia ‘What Will the Neighbours Think’ Dursley was just a case of pesky ol’ child neglect and endangerment, BUT NO! Not only was Harry left in the care of people who were boderline abusive (horcrux or no treating a child like that is unacceptable) but he could have ACTUALLY EXPLODED INTO A SUPERMAGICEVILBLOBSCURIAL. I’ve been doing some thinking about this and I’ve come to the conclusion that, given what we know about the situation, Dumbledore may have actively wanted that to happen

More below the cut!!!

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